D.C, August 2014

Stuck in traffic. Isn't that great!

Alex Blake took a deep breath to keep her calm. The last thing she wanted was to be late for her first day at her new job, especially since she would be working under Erin Strauss again. The last time they had worked together, things had been… tense, to put it mildly.

Maybe this career move wasn't such a good idea after all.

But that was bullshit and she knew it. The fiasco with the Amerithrax case had left her career with the FBI dangerously close to complete ruin, and she knew that her career goal - to one day be Department Chief at Quantico - was forever beyond her reach. Working with the BAU was a greater success than she could have hoped for during those years of hell, and there was no way she would have allowed this chance to pass her by. Even if it did come with the boss that had once thrown her to the wolves to save her own skin.

At least she wouldn't be working side by side with her.

Alex sighed and took a sip of her coffee, one immediately accompanied by the slow eruption of a heartburn. Stress was not a friend of hers, yet it always seemed to tag along wherever she went and whatever she did. She knew she had to be careful and look after herself; she did not want to find herself back in the same abyss she had spent years in, with the carousel of antidepressants, tranquilizers, sleeping pills. A drug for every occasion, she thought with a bitter hint of amusement. With the use of prescription drugs came the fear of becoming dependant on them. She wasn't too proud to accept the help she needed, particularly since it did make her better, but she had a constant fear of losing control over it and no longer know for sure if she needed it for a medical purpose - or to get a fix. Alex honestly didn't think she deserved the bad cards that life had decided to deal her, but she was going to play the hand she was given. There had been a moment when she was ready to quit playing, but that was a long time ago.

Finally!

Traffic started moving again and she stopped thinking about the past - it was depressing enough without her poking around in it - and focused on what lay ahead.

She consulted her wrist watch as she stepped out of the elevator, and noted to her relief that she was right on time. Normally she preferred to be early, but given the circumstances she had to be content with not running late. That would have been mortifying.

She looked around and spotted Aaron Hotchner, the Unit Chief of the BAU, and steeled herself mentally as he approached her.

Tough but fair, she told herself. That's what everyone says about him.

"Agent Blake," he said and shook her hand. "Welcome, it's good to have you aboard."

"It's good to be here," she replied and prayed they would get on with the work as soon as possible and not linger too long on uncomfortable social interactions. She had never been a very outgoing person, but her past certainly hadn't helped. She was suspicious of people around her, always careful to spot the dagger before it was firmly placed in her back. You could argue that it wasn't a healthy mindset, but Alex would argue right back that neither was naivety.

"I'll introduce you to the rest of the team. Well, parts of it. Derek Morgan and our tech analyst Penelope Garcia have the week off to see a friend in England," Hotch continued and lead the way as he spoke.

Alex followed him into the briefing room, where three more people were gathered; two men and one woman, who was turned away from the door speaking on the phone. Alex recognised Spencer Reid right away, the young genius had guest lectured in her forensic linguistics class a couple of times, and she felt at ease with him. That was a good thing; she thought she could work well with him.

"I take it you've already met Doctor Reid," Hotch said. Alex nodded and offered the young man a quick smile without shaking his hand, as she was well aware that he was uncomfortable with it.

"This is David Rossi," Hotch continued and Alex knew his name well, he was something of a legend in profiling. But that wasn't what confused her, but the fact that he looked very familiar. As he shook her hand he noticed her confusion and chuckled a little.

"I've guest lectured at Georgetown many times. I've seen you before too, Doctor Blake."

"Ah," she said. "That's why you look so familiar. And don't bother with the title, the only time I use it is to intimidate my students."

"Rule through fear," he said in a mock serious voice and nodded. Alex smiled her first genuine, relaxed smile that day.

"Something like that," she agreed.

At this point the only other woman in the room finished her phone call. She had a friendly, open smile on her face as she turned around to greet her new colleague, but when their eyes met, the smile died a quick death.

Alex felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of her and her initial urge was to turn and run away, but she suppressed it almost violently. She forced a smile onto her face, but she felt completely numb, almost frozen.

"This is Jennifer Jareau," Hotch said. "This is our new team member, Alex Blake."

The two women stared at each other, neither saying a word or making a move to shake hands. Hotch frowned at the thickening atmosphere in the room.

"Have the two of you met before?"

"No," Alex clipped, just as JJ said;

"Yes."

"We have? I don't recall." She felt her chest tightening at this blatant lie; in fact, she could barely breathe. The younger woman gave her an ambiguous glare.

"I took one of your classes back at Georgetown ten years ago."

"Oh. Well, I have a lot of students each year, I can't keep track of all of them," Alex replied in a cool, almost chilly voice, and JJ's jaws clenched at this harsh brush-off.

Really? How many of your students do you sleep with, then? JJ thought, but she wouldn't dream of saying anything like that in company, so she merely nodded.

"I see, of course," she said, keeping her voice almost as cool as her former lover's, and then turned to Hotch. "Shall we start the briefing?"

Hotch wasn't sure what had gone down between the two female agents, but he didn't have to be a profiler to see that there was bad blood somewhere in their past. He would have to keep a close eye on them and see if they really could work together. This team was close-knit and could not afford personal drama. Though Alex Blake had seemed like a good pick for the position, she would have to go if she disrupted the team spirit, but he hoped that whatever differences they had, they would be able to work them out on their own. He turned to JJ and said;

"Go ahead."

"Seattle. Three young women have disappeared from parking lots of different fast food restaurants in the past year. They were all Caucasian, between 20 and 24, low-risk lifestyles…"

"Have any of the bodies been found?" Alex interrupted, eager to show her ambition. Obviously, as she received disapproving glances, that was not how you rolled with this team. She scolded herself for not checking the waters before she dove right in, but held the stare in defiance while waiting for a reply. After a brief, uncomfortable silence, JJ gave it to her.

"No, which is why this is classified as a serial abduction rather than murder."

"We really don't have any clues, except for the locations where they have been taken from," Hotch said. "The fact that no bodies have been found may indicate that they're still alive and held captive. Wheels up in thirty," he finished, and the team cleared the room to get their go-bags and make last-minute trips to the bathroom. JJ walked past Alex without so much as a glance at her. The long blonde hair bounced against her shoulders as she walked, and Alex recalled - with painful clarity - how soft it had been to the touch. How it had felt to twirl a coil of it between her fingers as they lay in bed, giggly with infatuation and pleasantly exhausted from hours of lovemaking.

She rubbed her face with both hands and exhaled through gritted teeth.

How the hell is this going to work out? I had absolutely no idea Jennie would be here. I haven't spoken to her since that night in April 2005. I never thought I would ever see her again. And judging from her reaction, neither had she.

The heartburn was getting worse and she searched her purse for the Rolaids. A drug for every occasion. Except for the one she really needed; one against the painful memories of a good thing going bad.

"How are you with flying? Personally, I hate it," Rossi said as he claimed the seat next to hers once they were onboard the jet.

"Doesn't bother me at all," she replied, shifting her glance towards JJ, involuntarily revealing what was bothering her. Rossi nodded and lowered his voice.

"So what is the deal with you and JJ?"

"'scuse me?"

Pretending not to hear what was said in order to buy time to think of an answer, that was probably the oldest trick in the book, and there was no chance an experienced profiler like David Rossi was going to fall for it, but Alex was too caught off guard to think of any other evasive manoeuvre. He shrugged.

"Okay, I get it, you don't want to talk about it. It's pretty obvious."

"It's water under the bridge," Alex said.

"Is it?"

Luckily she didn't have to reply, as Hotch sat down on the opposite seat and called their attention.

"When we land, I want JJ, Blake and Dave to go and check the abduction sites, Reid, you're with me and setting up things at the station."

Rossi raised his eyebrows. It was unusual for Hotch to let the new agent out of his sight right away. However, he realised what his old friend was doing - sending Dave to watch the two women's interactions at the scene and evaluate their ability to cooperate. Blake's behaviour would be more natural than it would be if the boss himself was around, and probably JJ's as well.

He noticed that they both scowled at the command, but neither had any verbal objection to offer. Good call, he thought. Going against Hotch was never a good idea. He hoped for the team's sake that they would be able to keep whatever grudge they had under wraps, or even better, sort it out once and for all. But he knew JJ's stubbornness, and he had a feeling Blake was even worse in that aspect.

"According to witnesses, Sarah Smith bought a milkshake and walked out to the parking lot. Her car was parked here…" Rossi made a gesture with his arm. "…but nobody saw her actually getting into the car. Somewhere between the door and her car, she just vanished."

"What time of day was it?" Alex asked.

"Uh, one thirty pm," JJ said, consulting the information on her tablet. She avoided looking directly at her new colleague, but Alex didn't notice. She was too absorbed by the scene, trying to play the possible scenario like a movie in her head.

"So it's daylight and probably quite a few people around, which makes a 'snatch and drive' highly unlikely."

"Right. Also, the car was parked quite some distance from the entrance, which indicates that there were several cars and probably several people out here."

"Yeah, yet nobody saw anything," Alex said and thrust her hands into her pockets. JJ had to smile a little; she remembered this gesture well. Frustrated Alex trying to quell her own body language. As an interesting contrast to her low-key appearance, she could sometimes have very big and wavy gestures, and she was aware of it and tried to suppress it. But sometimes it leaked through.

"The surveillance cameras only reach till about here," JJ said and placed herself one step outside the door. "But there is nothing that indicates she would head a different direction."

"You're Sarah. Walk this way," Alex said from her place where the victim's car had been parked. "What do you see?"

I see betrayal, JJ thought, but said; "I see my car. Probably other cars parked close by. People walking across the parking lot… and the playground."

Alex turned around to have a look and JJ walked up to her, but careful not to stand too close.

"The playground," Alex mumbled. "It's right in the line of sight."

"Do you think she saw somebody hurt a child and went to interfere?"

Alex slowly shook her head, rather to show that she wasn't sure than saying no.

"Could we be dealing with a female unsub?" JJ said.

"Maybe. Without bodies or reliable witnesses it's hard to tell."

"Yeah."

JJ opened her mouth to say something else, but changed her mind and turned away from the woman she had once believed to be the love of her life.

Rossi, who was watching from a distance, was relieved to see that at least they could interact as professionals. He was curious about what had set this off though; in his experience, it was almost impossible for JJ to hold a grudge. She could keep secrets, she had certainly proven that in the past, but grudges? That just wasn't very much like her. Whatever Alex Blake had done, it must have been hurtful. Then he noticed the sad, longing look on Blake's face as she glanced at JJ. That didn't seem consistent with a grudge, but rather with...

No way, he thought. Could they have been… lovers?

A/N

Ugh, this was clunky. I apologise, but I think it will find some rhythm in next chapter. I'll try and mix the past and the present in different chapters to get the whole story together, and I hope it won't get too confusing. I've never really written anything that way before, because I always chicken out when things get hard.

So… first note still applies, be kind. ;)