The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Parody #18
A Grand Theft Auto 3 Parody
By: The X series
(Zero is driving down a golf course path in a golf cart. He stops by X, who is sticking his thumb out.)
Zero - Sorry. No hitchhikers.
X - I'm not hitchhiking. I smashed by thumb of that tree.
(Zero turns to look for a tree. When he can't find one, he turns around.)
Zero - X? Hello? Wanker ran off.
(X grabs Zero, throws him to the ground, and takes off in the golf cart.)
X - Later, wanker!
Zero - -stands up- This means war.
(Zero begins turning and shooting randomly and a golf cart appears out of nowhere.)
X - Oh, yeah. Forgot about that… It's MOD-ing time!
(X begins swerving around randomly and the golf cart turns into the Batmobile.)
Zero - That wanker! -dials the police- Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a stolen vehicle. I'm chasing him in a golf cart right now. What? Screw you! That bastard stole my Batmobile! Ah, fuck it! -hangs up- It's MOD-ing time… again…
(Zero begins swerving around randomly, crashes into a tree, and his cart turns into the Weinermobile.)
Zero - Great…
(Meanwhile, Axl is having fun being a pimp when he turns the corner and sees the Batmobile being chased by the Weinermobile. He smacks his ho, steals her booze, and downs it in a second.)
Axl - Need more booze!
X - Axl's a pimp?
Zero - Axl's getting laid?! Wow, I guess Hell did freeze over.
(The scene changes to a frozen town of Hell, Michigan.)
MSX - -shivering- Yeah, so what?! It's overused. Big deal! You can suck my frozen metallic balls!
(The scene changes back as the Batmobile drives into a Pay-N-Spray. It emerges as a shopping cart with nos.)
Zero - Bastard! I wanted a shopping cart with nos!
(X gives him the finger and flies off in the cart. Zero goes into the Pay-N-Spray and emerges with a limo.)
Zero - A limo?!
(Donald Trump looks back at Zero from the driver's seat.)
Trump - -enunciates every syllable- Not just any limo. This is my personalized limo, the Trumpmobile. Activate nitros oxide.
(Trump pushes a button and they blast off, easily catching up with X.)
X - Damn!
(X pulls into a pit stop where a pit crew replaces his tires, give him an ounce of cocaine, a bong, and two tickets to Phantom of the Opera. As X pulls out, Zero pulls in. His tires are replaced, but a fat chick begins walking up.)
Fat Chick - Hey, big boy.
Trump - Oh my God. We're doomed.
Zero - Put the pedal to the medal!
(Trump takes off after X, who is swerving wildly after smoking a coke bong.)
X - -high as a kite- Whoa… So many colors. If I hit the purple, twenty points for me. Whee! That rhymed! Yay!
(Zero pulls into another Pay-N-Spray and comes out with the General Lee.)
Zero - No way.
Trump - -from backseat- Way.
Bill Gates - I'm so freaking rich, I walk through the homeless shelters just to see how much better I'm doing in life than everyone else.
Clyde - -from backseat- Where to?
(Zero boots Clyde out and takes off. Clyde gets angry and pushes a button on his drawn-on watch. A box with wheels appears and he gets in. He activates the nos and easily catches up with Zero.)
Clyde - Revenge! Oh, I mean… Spare some change?!
Bill Gates - Behold, my secret weapon.
(Bill Gates throws a sack of money out of the window and into Clyde's Box-Mobile. He stops, goes into a watch store, buys a very cheap, plastic watch, and tells the clerk to 'Keep the change'. He then resumes the chase.)
Clyde - More change!
Zero - Yeah… I just realized… This is all one pointless race through the city. Where are all the missions?
MSX - -from passenger side seat- Well, these are the annoying racing missions.
Zero - Holy shit!
(Zero hits a ramp and honks the horn while time briefly moves in slow motion.)
MSX - Hey, look! Crack!
(Zero swerves to the left, buys some crack, and takes off again. The police appear and attempt to pull him over as he snorts the drugs.)
Zero - high as a kite- You can't stop me! I'm…
(X flies through the sky in his shopping cart.)
Zero - -slightly high- …hallucinating…
MSX - You can say that again. Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Bush's exit strategy all don't exist.
Zero - -hungover- Great… Wait? What?
(Zero pulls over and is busted. A week later, he stands at the edge of the bridge.)
Zero - Well, my life has no meaning. I lost my Batmobile. I lost my hookers. I lost my car keys. I lost that game of checkers with a blind man. I've lost my dignity, my sense of humor, and even my two-for-one coupon for KFC chicken. Goodbye, cruel…
(X hits Zero and drives off of the bridge in the Batmobile.)
X - Just die!
(They both fall into the water and begin splashing around like retards. Seconds later, they drown.)
MSX - Well, at least you can swim in San Andreas.
Next time: My original parody was on an anime. I continue that tradition by parodying an anime based on the second-greatest video game franchise in the world.