The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Parody #19
A Parody of Pokémon
By: The Classic series
(Dr. Light sits up immediately.)
Light - Oh joy. Today I begin my quest to become the greatest Pokemon master of all time!
Wily - Setting your sights a little high, aren't you?
Light - Gasp. It's my rival, Dr. Wily.
Wily - I'm gonna become the greatest Pokemon master! I've just created… Er… Gotten my first Pokemon! Go, Flirtle!
(Iceman appears in a flash.)
Iceman - -flirtatiously- Hey, big boy!
(Light quickly runs into Dr. Nutsa… I mean, Dr. Cossack's office.)
Cossack - Wow! You're late! Everyone just left. Your choices were a Flirtle…
Light - Gay.
Cossack - Bulbascore?
Light - Still gay.
Cossack - Harmander?
Light - Little better.
Coassck - But, now all I have left is this Dickachu.
(Elecman appears with some funky headgear.)
Elecman - You will get nowhere in life.
Light - I'll take it!
(Outside of Suckit Town, Light and Dickachu begin their adventure.)
Light - Oh, look! It's a Midgey.
(Light points the Pokesex at it.)
Pokesex - -in automated voice- Midgey, the midget bird Pokemon. This Pokemon will gang up on anyone it views to be a dickface.
(A flock of Midgeys begin to close in on Light.)
Light - Uh oh. Dickahu, Blundershock!
(Elecman shoots a small lightning bolt out of his butt, then the two run for it.)
Roll - Duh-duh-duh. Doing nothing but fishing.
(Light grabs the bike and rides off with it.)
Light - I'd say I'd bring, but I'd be lying!
Roll - Wanker!
Elecman - Why do I have to sit in the basket?
Light - 'Cause your a supporting character. Now sit down and shaddup!!
Pokesex -Marojuana, the drugs Pokemon. Much meaner than Midgeys, Marojuanas usually offer government-grown weed or hookers, but in return, they ask for some dough.
(Light turns around to see a bunch of drug dealers running alongside the Midgeys.)
Marojuana - Want some weed?! I got the best crack there is!
Light - Sounds tempting, but no. Oh, snap! Besides, you don't appear for several episodes! Blunder time!
(Elecman unleashes a Blunder attack and vaporizes the Midgeys and Marojuanas. Light throws himself on the ground, then they look up into the air.)
Light - It's a Ho-Ho!
Ho-Ho - -flying away- I'll suck your dick for a dollar. I'll suck your dick for a dollar.
(Light raises an eyebrow as Elecman looks at him.)
Elecman - Mating call.
(Light shrugs and picks Elecman up. He then runs into the Pokemon Center.)
Nurse Boy - -in a masculine tone- Hi, my name's Nurse Boy. Me and my family, which looks and sounds exactly like me, run every Pokemon Center in the world.
Elecman - -to Light- Don't make me go with him.
(The front door explodes and Megaman is wearing a white shirt with a red R on it.)
Nurse Boy - Team Rockman!
Megaman - I shall now repeat a chant that will be heard in every episode of every season from now to three hundred years from now! No matter what, Nintendo will always find a cheesier plot line for a season of this Godforsaken show!
Light - Quiet or MSX will hear you.
Megaman - So?
(Elecman uses Slap Cannon and knocks Megaman into the air.)
Megaman - Looks like Team Rockman making another sequel!! -vanishes-
Roll - Bastard! You burnt my bike! Now, buy me a new one!
Light - Okay, I will. That is, of course, a lie and I'll never replace your bike as long as I may live! -insert mad laughter- Now, then. Let's go!!
(A few days and they enter Spewter City.)
Bass - -has eyes closed- Ha! I never open my eyes, but I can see everything!
Light - I challenge you!
Bass - Ha! Fool! You will lose!
(After Light gets his ass kicked by Hooked-On-Phonix, he goes to mill, recharges Dickachu, then comes back.)
Bass - Ha! Fool! You will lose! Again!
(Light uses a squirt gun and kills Hooked-On-Phonix.)
Bass - Oh no! I'm now legally obligated to give you this dorky little 'badge' and send you off!
(Light does a Legend of Zelda pose, then leaves.)
Random Guy - Who's that Pokemon! -insert commerical break- It's… Ahnold!
Arnold - Ahnold! Ahnold! I'll be back! Ahnold!
(Light enters SheScrewedLeon City and goes into the gym.)
Elecman - This isn't a gym. There's no workout equipment.
Roll - You! I accept your challenge, but will lose horribly due to the huge advantage you have over me!
(Moments later, Light wins.)
Light - Yay!
Roll - Have this gay little badge.
Light - -does LoZ pose- I'm gone!
-One 'same old, same old' later…-
Light - After an ungodly amount of episodes, I've finally reached the Slightly-Blue-But-Not-Quite-Purple Plateau! Go, Charitard!
(Charitard appears and falls asleep.)
Light - Darn! Go, Exlax!
(A fat Pokemon appears and falls asleep.)
Light - My 'Darn' evolved into a 'Darn darn'! Go, Dickachu!
Elecman - I don't wanna.
Light - Damn!
Referee - You're a retard and are disqualified!
Light - My 'Damn' evolved into a 'Fuck'! This show blows chunks!
MSX - -walks in- Excuse me, but I happen to like the show. Missing-In-Action, I choose you!
(A glitch appears and glitches the parody. However, it starts the Pokecrap.)
Selectrode, Piglett, Speedoran, Spankey, Venuscore, Fattata, Zearow, Midgey, Dolteon, Dolemite, Glastly, Tonyjaa, Japoreon, Pollywollydoodle, Splattermee!!
Menomoth, Poligrip, Oldfuck, Bulbascore, Oltimer, Fuckmewell, Poltres, Speedoking, Fart'stretch, Pigglypuff, Killer, Rhyporn, Cledable, Pigglytuff!
Spewbat, Buttrape, Woofen, Hooked-On-Phonix, Geonude, Crapidash, Fagneton, Exlax, Mengar, Strangela, GospleenStareo Sleezing, Shmeal, Gyarmorose, Slowfro!!
Kabooto, Barkin, Scareus, Warsea, Faticate, Fagnemite, Kaflabra, Fuckinwell, Dildo, Moyster, Splaterpie, Sandscrew, Bulbascore, Harmander, Holem, Dickachu!
Hocuspocus, Pooduo, Menonat, Machoking-The-Chicken, Jakhychan, Schizo, Electascuzz, Scareon, Asstoise, Polyphonic, Yiddish, Rowdy, Diechu, Speedoqueen, Smellsprout, Starpee!
Metagod, Marojuana, Kahuna, Cledairy, Pootrio, Weedra, Pile'o'doom, Stabby, Lickidung, Scoros, Greedle, Speedoran, Porkchop, Sellder, Pornogon, Pimpmonchan!
Farticuno, Junx, Speedorina, Weedrill, Haunturd, Flirtle, Cheney, Parasex, Sexeggcute, Fuk, Poodong, Midgeotto, Lapdance, Vuldix, Hardon!
Charitard, Machump, Pisser, Jerkoffing, Mugtrio, Starpu, Tragikarp, Nineballs, Sinep, Homostar, Spyther, Tentacola, Debonair, Fagmar!
Sandstash, Pimpmonlee, Skyfuck, Barcanine, Heavee, Sexeggutor, Kabootops, Crapdos, Martini, Scowlithe, Mr. Mom, Cuboner, Groveler, Smoltorb, Glomp
Harmelon, Fartortle, Screwyu, Tentagruel, Bearodacylt, Homonyte, Snowjoke, Midgeot, Sllab!
Next time: The Megaman crew learns the importance of 'Wax-On; Wax-Off'.