The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Parody #20
A Karate Kid Parody
By: The Legends series
(As parody starts, the camera moves down a street.)
Random Person - Tony! Don't forget to tell Uncle Louie that I left the red wine and severed head in the refrigerator!
(Outside of the hotel, Tron urges on Trigger.)
Tron - Push, Trigger! Push!
(Trigger takes a shit, then sighs pleasantly. On the beach, Trigger walks up to the camera.)
Trigger - Insert cliché fight against future girlfriend's ex. I get my ass kicked.
(Trigger turns around, revealing an ass cast, then walks off. Then, at the school, Trigger walks up and the lunch lady takes a giant spoon. She scoops some stuff out of a cow's carcass and plops it onto his plate.)
Trigger - Must… resist… hurling internal organs…
(Later, he walks into a dojo.)
Dojo Instructor - What do we say when someone curses our mothers?!
Entire Class - You're gonna get fucked up, sir!!
(That night, Trigger is riding his bike down the street.)
Trigger - Dum-de-dum. I don't realize that I'm about to have my ass kicked!
(In Teasel's shack, Tron and Trigger find themselves inside with a bunch of trees.)
Trigger - What kind of tree is this?
Teasel - Bonsai.
Trigger - Bonzai?
Teasel - Bonsai.
Tron - Bonzsay?
Teasel - Bonsai!
(A short silence follows.)
Trigger - Bonsigh?
(The two return to their apartment.)
Tron - You've got a costume party tomorrow. I've got your Bugs Bunny outfit.
Trigger - No thanks. I'm going as… a shower!
Tron - Brilliant plan if you want your ass kicked.
(As Trigger is getting the shit beat out of him, Teasel jumps the fence and begins kicking ass.)
Teasel - Take that, border patrol!
(I meant the other fence.)
Teasel - Oh, right. Take this, teenage scum!
(Later, Trigger and Teasel enter the dojo.)
Dojo Man - You're in the tournament!
Teasel - Hokey-dokey! -turns to leave-
Trigger - Wait? What?!
(The two head to an enclosed area.)
Teasel - Wax on. Wax off. Then kick 'em a good 'ol kick in the crotch.
(Trigger gets kicked in the crotch.)
Trigger - My happy sack has been overcome with pain!
(MSX walks in.)
MSX - The next scene doesn't need to be parodied. It's funny as is.
(MSX walks off. Later, in the enclosed area, Trigger puts on some gloves.)
Trigger - Hey, Mr. Teasel. What are these for?
Teasel - Funny you should ask…
(As Teasel begins to pull down his pants, Trigger throws off the glove and thrusts his hand into holy water.)
Trigger - Taint, be gone!
(As Trigger and Teasel walk up to a fence, Trigger realizes that that isn't paint in the bucket and he runs off.)
Teasel - Come back, coward! Real man paint with own fecal matter!
(The next day, Trigger walks up to the door and sees a sign that reads 'Now, paint house. Then car. Then other car. Then town. Town must be painted red.')
Trigger - -rips up the sign- Dammit!
(After training with Teasel, they bow.)
Teasel - Now, show me special place.
Trigger - I'm going. -starts running away- I'm going! I'm gone!!
(At the beach, Teasel cries out and tries to chop a beer bottle in half, but instead, hacks the man in half.)
Trigger - Um… Flawless victory?
(The next night, Teasel offers Trigger some booze.)
Teasel - Bonzai!
Trigger - Bonsigh.
Teasel - Bonzai!
Trigger - Bonsay!
Teasel - Bonzai!
Trigger - Bonsai!
Teasel - Oh, now you get it!
Trigger - What are you celebrating?
Teasel - Anniversary.
Trigger - Oh? -grabs picture- Whoa! This is your wife.
Teasel - Isn't she beautiful?
Trigger - Yeah, she's pretty. Pretty ugly.
(Teasel punches Trigger out.)
Teasel - Bonzai! -downs another glass of booze-
(Trigger puts Teasel to bed, then reads the letter. It reads, 'You will die in seven days for reading this'.)
Trigger - Meh.
(A few days later, Trigger celebrates his birthday.)
Teasel - Now, make wish!
Trigger - I know what I'm wishing for… Forty-six clones of Roll, butt-ass naked! Oh yeah!
(Outside, Teasel lets Trigger pick a car.)
Trigger - Hmm… I just got a nifty new car. Betcha anything that it'll be wrecked by dawn.
(Later, at the night club, Trigger and Roll make up.)
Trigger - I'll probably get killed in the first round.
Roll - We'll leave early.
Trigger - Oh yeah! I like where this is going!
(The next day, as the tournament starts, Trigger yawns.)
Trigger - They might as well put me in the finals right now. It's the classic movie cliché. The main character faces off against the antagonist in an epic fight that I almost lose. Betcha anything!
(A few minutes pass.)
Trigger - Figures. I am hurt badly, convince sensei that I have a justifiable reason for fighting, and come back to barely take the trophy away.
Glyde - You haven't taken it yet!
Trigger - Oh really? Crane kick to the face! -kicks Glyde- My foot! In yo face! Take that, bitch!
Glyde - Ow! My face! -melodramatically flies backwards and is impaled on a kabob-
Snake Man - Am I up again?
Next time: The Legends series continues its' ties with the Mafia.