The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.
Season Finale
A Parody of Robot Chicken
By: The X, Classic, Legends, Zero, and Battle Network series
(MSX walks onto the stage.)
MSX - Ladies, gentlemen, and creatures not of this world… Prepare to die. That is all.
(MSX walks off stage and the scene changes to a road during a stormy night. A chicken walks across the street, but Trigger runs it over with the Jet Skates. Then, a scientist picks it up and begins laughing. As his back is turned, Megaman waltzes across the screen. Then, as the chicken activates, Phantom peeks down from the upper side of the screen.)
Voice - It's alive!
(The scientist grabs the chicken and runs to the chair, but lowers the chicken when he sees Zero sitting in it.)
Zero - What?
(Zero throws some popcorn into his mouth and turns the TVs on. Megaman.EXE is doing the Numa Numa.)
Zero - Oh God. I hate this channel.
(Zero changes the channel as the theme ends. The scene becomes staticky.)
Zero - Noooooooooooooooooo!! How was that?
X - That was good, but the line was 'Yes.'
(The screen fizzes. Spider is playing Poker with Nana and a Metool. He gets a three-of-a-kind and stands up to attack.)
Spider - I think you'll like this.
Nana - Aw, crap…
(The screen fizzes.)
Announcer - You've just got to get the new game from Capcom, Super Mega Fighter X! With classical match-ups like Ryu vs. X…
(Ryu uses a Hadouken and knocks X backwards. X uses a Hadouken and blows Ryu to pieces. Then, Ninetails jumps in and annihilates him.)
Announcer - Ken vs. Zero…
(Ken uses the Shoryuken and knocks Zero down. Zero draws his saber and stabs it into Ken's chest.)
Announcer - Chun-Li vs. Axl…
(Chun-Li does her Lightning Kick and Axl shoots her, causing her to fall over and bleed to death.)
Announcer - It doesn't get much better than this! And remember, if you don't like this game, you support communism!
(The screen fizzes. Crashman and Snakeman are dressed like the Mario Bros. They look at each other, then at Mattrex.)
Crashman - Yeah, this just isn't gonna work…
(The screen fizzes. Toadman is driving down the street, but swerves when Bass, who's naked, runs across the street.)
Toadman - Oh shit!!
(The screen fizzes.)
Announcer - And now, back to Behind The Music: Keiji Inafune. When he first started up with Capcom, he was addicted to a drug-like substance made from cocoa powder and Pixie Sticks. Due to this condition, Megaman was created.
Inafune - Let's make the little red man go around boom-boom-boom blasting everything in sight then have little weapons that he can use defeat evil geezer save world then go home and take nap!!
Random Guy - Why not make him blue?
Inafune - That's absolutely brilliant! Why didn't I think of that before?! -smashes beer bottle over his head-
Announcer - Due to the drugs, Inafune named everything after musical references. Rockman. Roll. Rush. Bass. Treble. Tango. Enker. Ballade. Forte. After a while, it just got ridiculous.
Random Fan - I just got tired of all the musical references. So, that's why I play the X series instead. There's no musical references.
Inafune - For now… -evil laughter-
(The screen fizzes. The Flutter crashes on Kattelox Island and the Inspector, who's naked, walks up.)
Inspector - Well, you certainly put on quite a show, but it looks like everyone's okay.
(The screen fizzes. Data is doing his dance when two more Datas appear. They continue to multiply until they all suddenly begin Riverdancing. The screen fizzes.)
Announcer - I'm back! And this time, I'm selling a CD!
Data - I'll stab you in the eye with an eggbeater!
Announcer - It's the two-disc set, Data: Threat To Society. Listen to his greatest threats for hours on end!
Data - I insert this spatula so far up your ass, you'll have shit patties for a month!
Announcer - Order now and you'll receive Roll: The Hottest Character In The Franchise, a monthly magazine subscription features naughty pictures of yours truly! And, order two in the next ten minutes, and you'll get this pheasant I killed with my bare hands! Order now!!
Data - I'll fuck your mom in the ass with a razor dildo!
(The screen fizzes and Fefnir, who is in a dress, is flexing his muscles in a mirror. The screen fizzes and Harpuia, seen from the back and who is visibly naked, stands in front of Fefnir, who holds a staple gun.)
Harpuia - Just focus on the target. Concentrate…
(The screen fizzes and Zero kills Phantom.)
Cop - We saw that!
(Zero is thrown into jail, but finds a jackhammer. He drills his way through the wall and poses as the alarm is sounded.)
Zero - Gasp! The Po-Po alarm! -runs off-
(Zero falls off of Alcatraz and is swallowed by a shark. Her is rescued moments later y Bush, who's fishing. He jumps onto the hanger and steals Air Force One.)
Bush - I knew we shouldn't have brought Air Force One.
Cheney - You don't know anything!
Bush - I know…
(Zero runs out of fuel, then crashes in Tennessee, where he's forced to hitchhike with Rednecks. He then runs into a parking lot, attempts to break into a car, gets caught, and winds up in jail again.)
Zero - God dammit…
(The screen fizzes and Megaman.EXE rises out of a coffin, jumps over the edge, and get impaled on some spikes. The screen fizzes again and Bombman is going through a classic Bomberman level. The screen fizzes once more.)
Megaman.EXE - Greetings, I'm Megaman from the Battle Network series. I'm here to point out who I think looks better in the Classic and Battle Network series. First off, Topman. Looks gay in the Classic series, looks old in the Battle Network series. My verdict, give me age over homosexuality any day.
Classic - 0
Battle Network - 1
Megaman.EXE - Next is Roll. My verdict…
Classic - 1
Legends - 1
Battle Network - 2
Megaman.EXE - They all look hot. Next, Aquaman.
Classic - 1
Legends - 1
Battle Network - 3
Megaman.EXE - True, he's supposed to be all 'cutesy' in Battle Network, but it's better than being gay in the Classic series. Next up, Tomahawk Man, Snake Man, and Ice Man.
Classic - 3
Legends - 1
Battle Network - 4
Megaman.EXE - Tomahawk Man looks cooler in Battle Network by the slightest of margins. Snakeman just looks gay, and Iceman… No comment there. Next, is Glyde, Bass, Zero, and me.
Classic - 3
Legends - 3
Battle Network - 6
Megaman.EXE - Glyde is supposed to be a pompous dick, not my friend. I've also seen the manga. An army of Navis gone in .02 seconds? Give me Bass.EXE any day. Okay, so Zero looks cool in the X and Zero series, but you just can't top the Battle Network series.
(Marino snorts.)
Megaman.EXE - And, me. Megaman is cool. Megaman.EXE is cooler. X is the coolest. But, Megaman Trigger is the ubermeister. You can't stop someone like that.
Trigger - Got that straight.
Megaman.EXE - So, in conclusion, there are good characters who are bad and look like crap. They are bad characters who are good and look like a million bucks. But then there's Bass. You just can't top that. -growl- That does it! I hate this script! -storms off-
Next time: Just when you thought it was over, MSX discovers the tape with the season premiere from the original season.