Chapter Six

Jax awakened with a start. For a split second he was back in his cell at Spee and coming out of a dream about Tara so intense that he could feel himself 'standing at attention.' He braced himself for the crush of bitter disappointment - and then suddenly remembered where he really was. His arm was around Tara and she was draped across his left side. Closing his eyes in relief, he pulled her even closer and she unconsciously shifted to accommodate him. Cr*st, he had missed this! He loved it, loved the feel of her against him. She gave him peace like nothing else could. This was their usual embrace in bed from the very first time he claimed her for his own. Jax had just turned seventeen, finally catching up to Tara's two month seniority over him. She had shyly given herself to him as a birthday present and it was a gift he treasured above all others, second only to the life of his son. Tara had given him that too, saving Abel's life. And now here they were together again at last. A frisson of sensual bliss rippled across his skin and he directed a lopsided grin at his Sleeping Beauty. He mused over the soul-shredding passion they'd shared – and the fact that he needed to secure the headboard or remove it altogether if that's how it was going to be. His need for her had increased even while they were making love and he knew he'd been demanding and a little wild in his quest to possess her.

Had he hurt her? God knew he'd done that enough in other ways.

Smoothing a hand over her skin in a gentle caress, he looked at her with loving concern. Jax had always prided himself on being an unselfish lover for the most part – even with the random women who were mainly fucking his kutte. This time he'd been so intent on drowning himself in Tara that his touch had bordered on roughness. He preferred to prolong her pleasure until she couldn't take anymore and to give her satisfaction multiple times, but they'd been so exhausted from that first explosive joining that they were as weak as infants during the aftermath. Well, he would make it up to her.

When Jax kissed Tara's forehead softly, her hand fluttered against him and she murmured her pleasure. He pulled the sheet up over them and something about the motion made him freeze and remember what hadn't been covered. He blinked up at the ceiling. He hadn't used a condom and he had no idea if Tara was on anything. The possibility was strong that she wasn't because the Pill and any of its variations usually made her too sick to function. In other words, unless she had something inserted they might be pregnant right now. Sure, it was only one time but he knew from personal experience that's all it took. Abel was conceived during thirty seconds worth of his and Wendy's drunken fumbling in an alley beside a bar. The ink on their divorce papers was still drying and he hadn't touched her for an eon before or since. It was amazing that something so precious could come from something as sloppy and forgettable as that, and truth be told, he didn't warm up to the idea of Abel's existence until after he survived surgery. But in spite of the fact that certain things still needed to be settled between them, the thought of them making a baby excited and humbled him. What would it be like to have a baby girl who looked exactly like her? A little Tara Junior. He would go loopy with both joy and worry for the rest of his life if he had a daughter. But here in the dark with the moonlight slanting over them, he embraced the idea, completely at peace. Their little family could be growing right now. And that's when he remembered the other thing he forgot.

Shit!

Just at that moment Tara turned onto her back with a kittenish stretch and Jax carefully rolled out of bed, standing very still until she stopped moving. Then he stealthily picked up his clothes from the floor, all the while keeping a wistful eye on her. He missed touching her already. He crept out of the bedroom and downstairs into the living room where he dressed. He knew he should take a shower but he wanted to keep Tara's scent on him and of course he couldn't afford to wake her up now. Jax grinned, thinking that they could shower together when he got back – if the little talk they needed to have went well, that is. But there was no way he could go without leaving a note and she definitely had to see it as soon as she woke up. He wrote on the first thing he could find – a paper napkin that had seen better days. His mouth compressed in a rueful line as he scribbled his message on it. Yeah, Teller, this is classy. Then he quietly went back upstairs.

Certain he was going to fuck up, Jax performed a cartoon character's exaggerated tip-toe across the bedroom. Fortunately Tara's back was turned and he laid the note on the pillow beside her. He tried to prop the sad thing up a bit. Then he retraced his steps and silently breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the living room again. All of this wouldn't even be necessary if he'd kept his cool earlier, but from the first moment he kissed Tara everything else was wiped from his mind.

After checking for his keys the last thing he did was pick his kutte up off the floor. He hesitated, fingering it in his hands for a minute, before shrugging it on impatiently. Just as he turned towards the front door –

"Jax?" she called to him softly from the bedroom but loud enough that he heard her. He hung his head with his hand on the doorknob and then stepped away from it. He would never deliberately walk away from Tara again.

She reached the bottom of the stairway, looking perplexed and holding up the napkin. She was absolutely adorable with her rumpled hair and bare feet peeking out from the hem of her long white cotton robe.

He smiled at her. "'Mornin'." He went over and pulled her into his arms for a gentle kiss. She responded automatically but didn't hug him back.

"It's night-time."

Jax fingered her bangs away from her eyes. "Feels like a new day to me."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm sorry, babe. The last thing I want to do right now is leave you but there's something I need to get. I'll tell you what it's all about when I come back. And I am coming right back."

Tara wanted to know now. She couldn't imagine what was so damn important after missing each other for over a year – and after the most intense lovemaking ever - that he had to sneak the hell out at night wearing that smackable smile on his face. It was then that she remembered Gemma's warning not to fuss with Jax about anything too soon after he got back. Tara stared him down and reluctantly conceded that it made sense to give him some leeway. Jax deserved it. And also she would learn from it. She could observe how he treated her without any argument or prompting from her. Let him show her who he had become after his time in prison. Her expression softened when she noticed signs of stress in his face. Jax sometimes covered up such feelings with flippant displays of his natural charm. Tara relaxed her posture.

"Okay. Just hurry back," she quipped casually.

Jax sighed and enfolded her in a bear hug and this time she didn't resist sliding her arms around him. "I know what you're thinking, Tara, but please trust me. I swear I'm not going to backpedal and hurt you again. I'm not the same fool I was when I went to Ireland."

"So what kind of fool are you now?" she muttered into his chest.

"Your kind, babe. Yours alone." Jax reverently took her face between his hands. "Do you know how much I love you?"

When she started to speak, he laid a finger across her lips. "It's alright because I'm coming back here and showing you how much. And you won't ever doubt it again. I promise." She looked so vulnerable that he almost changed his mind about going on his errand.

"I love you too." She held on to his waist, absently making circles there. "Go. But keep this in mind." She firmly smoothed a hand down the length of his crotch, making him jerk and swell in response. "I'm in need so you better make it quick, whatever it is, or else I'll have to self-serve."

Tenderness belied the smirk on his face as he pressed her hand against him even harder. "Nah, babe, don't do that – unless I'm here to pick up the slack. Don't waste it."

She raised an eyebrow and squeezed him through his jeans.

"Fahh!...", he exclaimed in surprise, hugging her again and playfully rocking her from side to side. His husky laugh made Tara want to pull him into her immediately. "You're breaking me, darlin'." He held her still to nibble at her neck and his control started to unravel. "What are your terms for surrender?" he muttered against her skin.

Tara smiled darkly and backed away. "If you want some real anarchy, there's more where that came from – if you know how to get it."

"Shit." He snatched up his shades. "Don't wash, don't get dressed, don't do anything."

"We'll see."

Jax watched the teasing sway of her hips as she went back upstairs and out of sight.

Oh, hell yeah!

He practically ran out of the house, pre-pay in hand, thumbing in the number. He walked far enough away so that Tara wouldn't hear him talking below the window and paced impatiently until the line was answered.

"~Yes?"

"Mom, it's me. Where are you?"

"~At the clubhouse, hon'. Where else? You on your way over?"

"I forgot to get that thing from you. I'll pick you up and we'll go to the house."

"~No need to do that. I have it here."

Jax frowned. "Why do you have it with you instead of in the safe?"

"~Because I'm here, sweetheart," she explained as if he were a little slow. "And I figured you'd be coming here soon anyway, so why make you waste a trip?"

His jaw tightened because he knew his mother well. "The ring is all I want, Mom. I'm not staying."

There was a pregnant pause. "~Jax, there are a lot of people waiting to see you. Many of your brothers have traveled far to celebrate your return. Is it asking too much to give them just a little of your time?"

"Everyone's there for the free food and booze and free tail. No one's thinking two shits about me."

"~Why would you say that? Are you including me, your mother? Because I think about you all the time. I haven't seen you in over six weeks, Jackson. Can't I have some time with you? You've been with Tara all afternoon. Maybe she needs some rest and you can spend some time here with me and your brothers. Plus, Clay wants to have church."

"No. And don't take it the wrong way. You know I love you. As for the rest – I care. I really do, but not right now."

"~Excuse me? You're refusing to attend church and you're the VP. How would that look? Sweetheart, nothing's changed since you've been gone. Church is not optional."

"Yeah well, I've changed since I've been gone. I'll be there in ten minutes." He disconnected.

/

Clay looked expectantly at his wife. "Well?"

"I'm working on him."

Tig shook his head and gulped down the rest of his beer. He nudged away a drunk croweater. "You shouldn't have to work on him. Where's his head at? He didn't say two fucking words from the time we were released until we got here. And then he just disappears with his old lady. He's the fucking VP of this club and for all we know six weeks in the box scrambled his brains to nothing."

Clay frowned irritably. "Tig, you exaggerate the hell out of everything. He's been a little - reserved, that's all. Wouldn't you if you were him?"

"Yeah, we have time for him to be reserved. Sure we do! That's what I said."

Juice who had been following the entire scene to the best of his limited ability, because all those shots of tequila were finally kicking in, stared at Tig a little bug-eyed. "Tig!" he said a little too loudly.

The older man mimicked his tone. "What?!"

"That's not what you - (hic!)- said, man."

"What isn't what I said?"

"What - ? You, um – Shit, man, I don't know what the hell I was gonna say!" Juice began to laugh. "But I think I need a beer."

Gemma rolled her eyes and looked at Clay. "Everybody's consuming large quantities of booze and pussy and you want to have church with these guys tonight? Good luck with that. As for Jax, you might as well forget it. All he wants to do right now is Tara, so – ….Bobby? Can I get by? Get the hell up off the floor. What's the matter with you?"

From his prone position Bobby belched the longest loudest belch ever heard while making the most absurd face ever seen. Then he laughed like a mental patient with Tig and Juice following suit. Gemma gave them all a disgusted I-told-you-so look and stepped over Mount Bobby.

Clay shook his head, rubbing it wearily.

/

When Jax arrived at the Teller-Morrow lot it was around 10pm and the party was just beginning to get raw. All of the little kids were gone from the club house and the handful of single girls who weren't prepared to eat the crow stayed back in the kitchen area and the family room next to it with the few remaining old ladies and two or three teenagers. Members of the various charters milled around the yard, drinking and talking animatedly. Some were already off to the side, half in the shadows with a female, while others were preparing for a boxing match. Although Jax didn't make a grand entrance, the women noticed him immediately but he deftly avoided their lewd attempts to capture him. The Sons greeted him heartily and he shook hands and waved as he made his way to the clubhouse door.

From his position behind the bar Piney spotted him as soon as he crossed the threshold and Jax went directly over to him, sidestepping a fierce game of pool.

"Piney."

"Boy," the older man replied in that gruff way of his. They hugged each other briskly. "Thought for sure you wouldn't show up until sometime tomorrow. Where's the doc?"

"Waiting. So I'm not staying long. How you been, old man?"

"Breathin.'"

Jax grinned. "Don't ever change, Piney. Where's my mom?"

"Back in the kitchen."

"Alright." Jax patted him on the shoulder. "See ya later."

"If life lasts."

The kitchen looked like it was being used to feed the entire western half of the United States. There was food everywhere, on the stove, packed in the fridge, Saran-wrapped in plates and bowls all over the counters and the chairs. A busted bowl of spaghetti was smeared all over the floor where Gemma was on her knees. In the adjoining living room area, women were drinking and laughing and watching some inane reality show. Lyla, Gemma and Evangeline – who was a Charming librarian and Kozik's latest flame – were trying to make sense of all the mess.

"What the hell?"

Gemma looked up, pushing hair out of her face with a wrist. "Hey, baby." She sounded so tired.

"Mom, let me help." He bent down to join her but she pushed him back.

"No. It's okay. I got it. One of the boys was in here drunk and couldn't keep his balance."

"No, come on, Mom." Jax helped her up and with a long suffering glance Lyla took her place and Evangeline reluctantly joined her. "Whoever it was should've cleaned this shit up himself. You should've told Clay and Clay should've handled it. You're not the maid around here."

She studied him. "Aren't you testy. It's no big deal. I've dealt with much worse during an SOA party. At least it's not blood."

Jax raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "Guess you're right," he murmured. "Hey, can we – ?" He gestured away from the room.

Gemma took her time wiping her hands. "Sure. Let's go to your old room."

"You mean no one's in there?"

"I don't let them use your room for humping. They can go in the garage or in the bushes for all I care. Did you see Clay?" she asked as he followed her into the room.

"I've been seeing Clay. Now I'd like to see something else. Can I have it?"

Gemma pursed her lips and grudgingly pulled a small square object wrapped in plastic out of an inner pocket between her breasts and handed it to him. He didn't complain that she was doing all this housework and running around a bunch of disreputable bikers with something invaluable to him in an unzippered pocket. He held his tongue because he didn't feel like arguing about the obvious. Instead, he unwrapped the package and opened the little box to examine its contents.

Then he gave her one of his bright smiles and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Mom."

She grabbed hold of his kutte. "Wait a minute." He looked down at her hand and then back up with an expression that made Gemma check herself with a wry smile and smooth the material flat again. "I mean – what's going on with you, baby?" She took a deep breath. "The club needs you, Jackson."

"I'm still wearing this, aren't I?"

"Yes. Yes, you are. Okay, go. Are you picking up Abel from Neeta's tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Alright, I'll see you later." But he hesitated in the doorway and turned to find that Gemma's eyes were downcast. "Hey." She looked up and he crossed the room to envelope her in a hug. "Can I spend some time with my mother tomorrow or is she too mad at me?"

"You know I'm looking forward to it, baby."

Jax hesitated a moment before crossing the main room full of reapers and scythes in motion to see if the coast was clear. But as it turned out, he was waylaid by Tig before he could walk out the clubhouse door. "My man. Where you going?"

"Home."

"You gotta stay. Clay wants to have church."

At this point Clay, Bobby, and Happy came over. Great.

"How about tomorrow? I just got out of jail and I'm tired."

Clay smiled mirthlessly. "Well, join the club, son."

"I already have. That's why I was in jail. I'll see you brothers tomorrow. Peace."

He turned away and Clay put a hand on Tig to stop him from moving towards Jax. He shook his head firmly.

"Tig, let him go," he commanded quietly.

"What's the big deal?" Bobby said. "He's right. We just spent forever in Spee so what the hell we gotta talk about tonight that can't wait one more day?"

Tig stabbed a finger in his direction. "That ain't the point, Bobby! He's acting like a freakin' nomad and when he's the VP. That's a problem. We've all seen this happen before. Remember?"

Bobby's mouth dropped open. "You serious? There's food, drink and broads all over the place and you're worrying about Jax's behavior like a couple of jilted schoolgirls. Leave him alone! Look at Chibs and Juice. See what they're doing? That's what we should be doing. Now if you'll excuse me, I see the woman of my wet dreams other there. Sayonara, lads."

They could practically hear Tig's teeth grind together as he glared at Bobby's back. "The fat's gone to his head as usual! So I guess the Mayans and Russians and whoever else are gonna politely wait while we drink and screw. Don't y'all get it? We are not secure. And I'm not coming out of a year and a half bid just to get caught with my pants down the next g*ddamn day. I'm not." He walked away, his stride tight with anger.

Happy finally spoke, his tone more ominous than usual, "There's more to it than that. Trouble's come to Anarchy paradise, brother."

Clay finished his can of beer and crumpled it in one hand, despite the arthritis. "You're too late with the warning. This trouble's been brewing for a long time."