Chapter 7
She tried to run.
He knew she would. Knock him out with sex and sneak out while he slept trying to get up his energy reserves. She had done it the first night they had slept together.
He was prepared this time. He had set the alarm on the house when she had been taking a shower. If she so much as touched his front door…
The noise woke him out of a dead sleep. He smiled. His little trap had caught his intended prey.
He got out of bed and walked into the closet. He took his time dressing. He knew she had to be downstairs going crazy trying to silence the alarm.
Well, she couldn't do that without the code.
Once he was dressed in jeans and a tee, he headed out of his room and bit his lip to stop from laughing out loud at the image before him.
He watched as Olivia, heels in hand, jumped up and down trying to knock the strobe/alarm pod that was installed above his door on the wall.
There was no way she could get that high. He figured he was about a foot taller than her at six-foot two, and he had to stand on his toes to reach it.
He leaned on the door jamb and enjoyed the show.
"Stupid…fucking…" each jump was interspersed with a curse muttered under her breath.
How heavily did she think he slept? The decibels on the alarm were deafening. He was staring to have a headache listening to it.
She turned around to place her shoes on the floor and he could tell the moment she caught sight of his feet with her peripheral vision. She jumped up in the air startled; now that jump could have brought her close to the alarm, he thought wryly.
"Fitz…I am sorry…I was trying to turn it off and…." She stopped embarrassed
He walked towards her and then past her to punch in the code on the keypad by the door. The silence was deafening after the racket of the alarm.
There was a phone ringing. He walked passed her again and grabbed a cordless phone that was in the nearby den and spoke.
"No, its fine" he walked towards her while speaking on the phone. He paused about a foot-way from her. He never took his eyes off her.
"I accidently tripped it. The word is Coriolanus…. thank you" he placed the phone down on a small table he had in the hall; then continued walking towards her. He saw her eyes widen and she took a step back but he kept up his approach. He grabbed her close to him and took the arm that held her pocket book. He pried it out of her hands and walked into his den. She followed him
"Fitz… I need my bag, my house keys…"
He ignored her and pulled back the painting he had on his furthest wall to reveal a wall safe. He punched in a code and then threw her pocket book in without any care. That seemed to annoy her.
"Hey!"
He shut the door and then turned to walk back towards her. He grabbed her hand and started walking. She had no choice but to follow. He pulled her into the kitchen and sat her down on a comfortable stool on the kitchen island where a gas cooker was stationed.
He leaned in and kissed her before leaving her parked on the stool. He went into the fridge and she watched him pull out eggs, tomatoes, thick cut bacon…all the makings for breakfast.
"Fitz…" she started to speak, but he quickly cut her off
"Shut up Liv. I want to have breakfast with you. You and I need to talk. You seem determined not to talk to me, and I have to assume it's because you're afraid to tell me something bad. So, before all that happens, I want to sit with you and have breakfast like we are fucking normal people. Can you give me that?" he asked
She opened her mouth to say something but thought the better of it. She nodded. He smiled at her and went back to making them breakfast.
Olivia sat and watched Fitz chop, dice and separate egg whites like a pro. Was there anything this man didn't do well?
Olivia wasn't much of a breakfast person, but she had a feeling this was not the time to be bringing up that kind of rubbish. She was no fool.
No, you're just a coward. A little voice said, but she ignored that bitch.
She had to admit she was hungry, and the bacon smelled good. She loved bacon. She never had bacon because she loved bacon. She tended to overindulge.
Stop thinking about bacon and get your shit together to brace for whatever he wants to talk about woman! The little voice broke in again.
"How much bacon do you want Livvie?" Fitz voice broke through her reverie.
"One rasher will do, thanks" Ha! One, girl you are in full on pretend mode today! Well, I can't ask for the whole fucking pound, can I?! she answered the bitch.
A plate slid in front of her. It looked lovely and smelled divine. She was glad to notice he had ignored her demure request for one piece of bacon and dumped a generous amount on her plate.
He slid his plate next to hers and then came around the table to sit next to her. Before he sat he reached out grabbed her by the back of the neck and kissed her again. Hard.
They sat and ate quietly and Liv found herself relaxing in the quiet atmosphere. Why was she over-reacting? He probably just wanted to talk about sex-slave rules. She was probably doing a bad job playing her part.
When they finished eating he took both plates and dropped them in the sink. He walked back and sat back on the Island stool turning it to face her.
"Look at me Livvie" he said quietly. She stared at the counter trying to get the courage to turn and face him.
"Please Livvie, look at me"
She took a deep breath and swiveled around to face him. She took another breath and gathered the courage to bring her gaze to his.
"We need to talk"
She nodded and swallowed "So, talk Fitz" she said in full defense mode.
She was breathing heavy, fighting back tears.
"Liv, who did this to you?" he asked his brow furrowed
"Did what Fitz?"
"Why do I feel like no matter what I say here, it's going to be the wrong thing?"
"Well I guess you're not going to know until you say it"
"Liv, I don't want to do the whole sex slave thing anymore, it was a stupid idea"
"Okay…I will…I won't call you anymore" she said
"That's not what I am saying Liv, I am saying…I am saying I want more"
The tears came rolling out. It was exactly what she feared! what she had been running from. She got up from the stool and attempted to leave but he quickly caught her
"What's going on Liv, why do I feel like you would rather I say I didn't want you anymore… than for me to say that I want to be with you?"
"Because…it just is! "she cried out
"WHY?"
"I've been here before Fitz. I was here, in this moment with Edison getting fed all the right lines, but they meant nothing to him. They were just …noises not words that meant something, they meant nothing to him"
"I am not Edison, whoever the fuck that is Liv" he yelled, angry at being compared to some loser who obviously broke her heart.
"Don't you see Fitz, it would be worse with you. I have known you for what? A week; and you already hold so much power over me. I haven't gone one hour of any day this week without thinking about you
"Good, neither have I with you" he countered
No! Don't you see this would be worse! If I let myself go with you and let you in…. you, YOU"RE THE ONE THAT I DON'T COME BACK FROM! If this goes wrong…" she shook her head trying to explain
"You make me feel amazing, every minute I am with you is pure joy. I am happy in ways that I never thought were possible…." she paused trying to stop the sobs that wanted to break free from her throat
"What wrong with that Liv? I feel the same way!" he said, confused
"What happens down the road when you decide that your bored and the novelty of me wears off? You walk away and I am left with a broken heart that I don't think I could recover from…I couldn't come back from you. I couldn't…" the tears were spilling from her eyes unchecked.
It broke his fucking heart.
"Livvie, I would never hurt you…"
"You don't know that Fitz! Who knows what happens down the road! Edison broke my heart but you … you would shatter it in a way that wouldn't allow me to put it back together for anyone. We should just stop this now before it goes any further…I can't see you anymore. It's over"
Fitz stood quietly looking at her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and reassure her, but she was in porcupine mode and quite frankly…he was angry.
"Damn you Liv…damn you for being a fucking coward"
Her head popped up in shock at his harsh words.
"Everything you said is true, I could turn out to be a bigger jerk than Ellison or whatever that assholes fucking name was; but in inverse I could turn out be something incredible that is happening in your life. I could be the second chance I know you must have wanted at some point over the last few years…" he paused and turned away.
"So now I get to not be with the love of my life because some asshole she met before me broke her heart?" he laughed humorlessly. He turned back to look at her. His eyes filled with pain.
"Do you get how unfair that is Liv? I want you, I would be good to you. I know we haven't know each other long, but if you feel even a modicum of what I feel you know that this is worth pursuing… we're worth it, can't you feel that Liv? You could be right and this is a disaster waiting to happen, or you could be wrong and you could be walking away from painful, difficult, devastating, life changing extraordinary love. I am afraid of the same things you are Liv, but your worth it to me, I am willing to dive in with both feet because I love you"
She gasped at the declaration.
"That right Liv, I fucking love you; and I am not some pubescent love sick teenager who doesn't know the difference between spectacular fucking and love Liv. THIS IS LOVE for me! I was a fucking done, the minute you took my hand in that fucking bar the first night!" his voice had been raised as he talked, but then suddenly like a balloon that had been popped. He deflated.
He paused and walked out of the room towards the den. He came back for a minute later and put her purse on the counter.
"I would go through fucking hell fire for you Liv…but if you don't feel the same… maybe your right. Maybe we should stop…" he paused overcome by emotion "maybe we should stop, because I need to be someone who would do the same for me"
He started to walk out the door and stopped before he rounding the corner. He didn't turn back to face her as he spoke.
"You get to be my Edison now Liv; you've ruined me for everyone else" he said sadly and walked out.
Liv stood in the kitchen holding her purse to her heaving chest thinking only one thing.
…What have I done…