Chapter 4

Christian's POV

I arrive at Seattle Independent Publishing, with fifteen minutes to spare before the editorial meeting. As I head to CEO Jerry Roach's office, I see a flash of chestnut brown hair walk past me, I feel a pull to me, but I shake it off as a fluke, because my heart belongs to Anastasia. As I enter Mr. Roach's office I look around at the space, thinking how we will need a larger office space for this company. I sit on the sofa as he finishes his phone call.

"Hello, Mr. Grey"

"Mr. Roach"

"Everyone should be ready for us."

I follow him to the conference room. He greets everyone and as I step around him to take my seat I hear a gasp. I turn my head and come face to face with my Anastasia. I am shocked to see her. All I can think is why I didn't know that she worked here before today. I had my security Welch do a full company background check on every one that is employed at SIP. How did hers fall through the cracks?

But all I can think is I finally get to see her after all these months and, I'm never letting her slip through my grasp and get away from me again. I barely listen to what's going on in this meeting. All I can focus on is my Ana and how beautiful looks, but I notice she does look tried with bags under her eyes and she looks a little ill. That breaks my heart. All I want to do is wrap her in my arms and never let go. I realize the meeting is over when everyone is standing up, and I notice Ana's baby bump. I'm shocked.

How could she not tell me she was pregnant? I all I can think is I need answers from Ana right now and not a moment later. I finish talking to everyone and shaking hands and make a beeline for her. I don't wait for her to say anything. I just take her out of the room to somewhere with more privacy. I see her office and steer her in that direction. Once we're in the office, I kiss her without saying a word. The kiss is deep and hard, without a warning. I feel Ana try and break free of my hold, but I wrap my arms around her so she can't get away. Finally, I feel whole again and I'm not letting her go ever again. I can feel that my lungs need oxygen so, I release Ana's mouth but keep my arms wrapped around her. I look deep into Ana's eyes and see that there is still love there. I also see fear and relief. I decide to break the tension between us with a smile.

"Hi"

"HI"

I finally lead her over to the sofa and truly, finally look at Ana. I notice how thin she looks minus the baby bump. I, again, notice how tried she looks and my heart is racing that there might be something seriously wrong with my angel.

"Ana, baby, are you okay? I'm worried about you."

Ana looks at me with tears in her eyes and I can tell what she's about to tell me will not be good. I brace myself for whatever is coming my way. I just hope there is some way I will be able to fix whatever is wrong with my angel.

Ana's POV

I was beyond shocked when Christian walked into the conference room. I never thought I would see him again. But, to tell the truth, the thought that I needed him again kept crossing my mind. I thought I could handle everything on my own but now I feel as if I'm barely keeping my head above water. When he walked into SIP, I finally felt like God was answering my prayers. But, how do I tell him how sick I am and, how will he take becoming a father? As I try and figure out how to tell him what's been on with me over the last six months. I look into his eyes and all I see is love, confusion, and a little bit of hurt but, mostly, I see unconditional love. When he calls me baby my eyes fill with tears and all I want to do is tell him everything, to have him to lean on, to help me through all of it.

"Christian, I don't know what to say. You have no idea how many times I have wanted to come to Escala and tell you everything. But, I was so scared you wouldn't want to see me and that you would turn me away, or not believe me."'

"Oh, baby, I would have seen you. I've been miserable without you. You're my heart and you showed me that I am capable of loving someone without all the kinky fuckery. The woman I love is you, Anastasia Rose Steel."

With Christian's confession that's the final straw for me. I can no longer control the tears that want to spill forth. He sees my breakdown and doesn't hesitate, he wraps his arms around me and rocks me until I calm down.

Christian's POV

"Shhh baby, I've got you. You're okay. I'm not going anywhere I promise you. I need you to calm down and tell me what's wrong so I can help. You don't have to do this on your own anymore. Let me take this burden for you."

I can feel Ana calming down but her reaction to my confession is what has me worried. I just want to protect her.

Ana's POV

I feel calm just being in Christian's presence and I now feel ready to continue our conversation. As I take a deep breath I feel our daughter give a swift kick so, without saying a word, I take Christian's hand and place it on my stomach just as she gives another kick. I watch as his face lights up and that makes me happier then I have been in a while. I am also glad that he is happy about our child. I really hate to break his heart with my other news, but he needs to know.

"Christian." He turns and looks at me, with his hand still on my stomach.

"There is more to why I stayed away all this time. It wasn't just about our daughter." When I say we're having a daughter, I see his smile multiply. Yes, it's a girl." I try and sound detached because I'm so scared I won't be around for her or Christian. I sniffle and try and speak once again. "Christian, I'm sick."

"Ana, what?"

"I have breast cancer, stage one, in my left breast. I was diagnosed the same time I found out I was pregnant."

I see Christian's happiness crumble as what I just told him sinks in. He grabs me and hugs me to him with my baby bump between us. Our daughter is being active so we don't forget she's here, too. I can feel his tears on my shoulder as we cry together and for what the future might hold.

Christian's POV

I never thought in a million years that Ana would say that she was sick with a life-threatening disease. I can't comprehend what Ana told me. I just got her back and I may lose her again. I have no control over this situation and that scares me. I just hold her and think about the future I want with my Ana and my daughter. I want the world to give me Ana's pain and suffering. My angel doesn't deserve any of this. I feel myself start to calm down and Ana's tears slow. Then I feel my mind switch into business mode, trying to come up with a plan of action for us. I shift Ana so that we are facing each other.

"Anastasia, we need a plan on how we are going to deal with your illness and our child."

"Christian, I already have a plan in place. I haven't started treatment yet, but I have been watching what I eat and switched up my diet, and have monthly appointments with my oncologist, Dr. Swender, and Dr. Grey. I also have twice monthly appointments with Dr. Green and our daughter is healthy and my pregnancy is right on track. I refuse to get treatment until after our daughter is born, because I refuse to do anything that will cause her harm or put her life in any form of danger."

I am flabbergasted at Ana's long explanation. My heart breaks for her that she even had to choose between her heath and our child. But, that's why I love her so much. She cares so much for others, more than about herself. But, as of now, that will all change because I will do everything in my power to make sure they are both healthy and taken care of.