Chapter 5

Tigger warning there is an attack sequence but no rape

Ana's POV: Ana's Apartment 9 AM

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and chest after my confessing everything to Christian. But, where do we go from here? I'm truly scared. I haven't told anyone that lately I've been feeling like the darkness is about to consume me and my body is starting to feel weaker.

But Dr. Swender keeps telling me everything is fine and right on track. She keeps reassuring me thecancer hasn't spread and, keeps pushing for me to start treatment but, I am still so scared for what that might do to my child. I remember looking at Christian and thinking how do I prepare him for a life without me, to raise our daughter alone. That has me worried because he is so scared to even let anyone in, but I know he will have his family to help if I'm no longer here.

Then, I think of Ray and Carla. How will they cope if I'm gone? I don't even want to think about that. I love them dearly, but I can't really trust Carla to help raise my daughter. I had to basically raise myself. Ray is getting up there in age, but he will help Christian as much as possible.

After our conversation at SIP, Christian tried to get me to go to lunch with him, but I was just too overwhelmed. I told him to give me time, and I promised I would be in constant contact with him. I truly hope that now that Christian is back in my life, I won't have to say goodbye to him so soon.

Christian POV: GEH 9 AM

Ever since leaving SIP yesterday and leaving Ana to her work day, I have been pouring over medical article after medical article, trying to find the best oncologist to help with Ana's case. I'm not sure I trust this Dr. Swender. I will do and give anything I have to save both Ana and our daughter.

I still can't wrap my head around it, that I'm going to be a father. I'm so scared that there is a possibility that I could lose Ana in the end. If that happened, my heart will be shattered into a million pieces, never to be put back together again. I keep thinking, how do I even raise a daughter when my heart would be gone because I lost her mother way too soon? The other thought that keeps going around in my head is, how not to ruin my daughter's childhood and leave her with issues like mine, issues that still plague me to this day. I promise myself that my daughter will have the best childhood possible.

I have been at GEH since 3 am. I can't sleep with everything going through my head. I hear my desk phone ring. I look away from my computer screen and research and see that it is my mother. I take a deep breath and answer the call.

"Christian Grey."

"Christian, hello. I need you to come to the house later tonight."

"Mother, I'm swamped here at GEH."

"Please, Christian."

"I'll try. What time?"

"Seven?"

"OK, I'll see you then."

When I hang up I wonder why it is so urgent that I need to be in Bellevue tonight, but when my mother calls and requests my attendance, who am I to say no. As I return to my researching, I hear my personal cell phone go off, it's a text from Ana.

"Will I see you tonight?"

"Sorry, I need to go to Bellevue, to my mom and dad's tonight, but you could come along. I'm sure they would love to see you."

I notice I don't get a response right away and that worries me.

"Ana?"

"Sorry, Christian, I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Please, baby, they love you! Please come with me tonight."

"I guess. Are you sure?"

"Yes, baby. Taylor and I will pick you up from SIP at 5:30. Okay?"

"Sure. See you at 5:30."

"I love you, Ana."

"I love you, too."

After our conversation, I try and put Ana's wearied reaction to my request for her to go to Bellevue with me out of my mind. I've been thinking. I want Ana and my daughter close to me.

With the state of Ana's illness and the impending birth, I want to prove to Ana that I can be the best father possible to our daughter. But, I don't feel like Escala is the right place to raise a child. It is so cold and, we need a family house that will be filled with love.

Ana POV:

After my miring of sadness and depression, I decide to head into SIP to finish up paperwork and contracts for a few new authors that I have signed recently. As I get ready to leave, I keep thinking about my text conversation with Christian this morning. I'm apprehensive to go to his parents tonight because they knew what I was going through before I told Christian. I am sure, that once he finds out that they knew before he did, he will be livid. But, tonight, my final secret will be known and, when it is, all I will be able to do is hope Christian will understand. I arrive at SIP and go into my office. I find a bouquet of white roses on my desk. I go over and look at the card. Right there, in Christian's perfect writing, is a sweet message:

Dearest Anastasia,

I just wanted you to know I love you and our daughter and I can't wait to see you tonight. Have a wonderful day and remember, I love you and I will see you at 5:30.

With Love,

Christian

I reread the card again and my heart fills with love for this man. He can make any situation better with just a quick note. For the first time in days, I finally feel happy. I sit at my desk and admire my sweet gift.

8 hours later:

I am packing up my things for the day, and getting ready to go meet Christian, when Jack enters my office. He comes behind me, touches my shoulders and, starts to rub them. I try to stand and shift away from him but, he presses down so I can't move.

"Jack, please, I need to go. Someone is waiting for me."

"Now, now, Ana, you're not going anywhere. You will listen to me. You come in and out of this office like you don't need this job. I've seen your emails to him, as well. You act as if you are doing nothing to anyone, but I'm here to tell you, you're a tease and I won't stand for it any longer."

I try and turn my chair to get up, but Jack has me pinned to the chair with his weight. Without warning, he spins me around in the chair and starts kissing me on the neck. I try and push him away but he has me pinned. He pulls me from the chair and pins my hands behind my back. He forces me over my desk and ripped my underwear taking me from behind. Then he turns me and starts kisses me hard on the lips, bruising my mouth. I try and kick him from my angle, but am unable too. He pushes me to the floor and lays on top of me. I feel him trying to undo my underwear. I feel my daughter moving around, not liking what's going on.

All I can think is, I need Christian, where is he? I'm also scared about what this could mean for my baby. In that moment, my mind disassociates with what is going on around me and I hope Christian will come find me.

Christian POV:

I pull up in front of SIP, and am about to exit my car, when I see Jack Hyde leaving with a smug look on his face. All I can think is that he rubbed me the wrong way when I met him at the editorial meeting the other day, and Ana told me, when we were talking privately, that he was more touchy and invasive with her then anyone else.

So, him coming out, looking like a smug bastard, and Ana nowhere in sight, has me on high alert. I know something has to be wrong. I look at Taylor and we both race inside. My heart is going full speed when we get to the SIP offices. I find Ana unconscious on the floor of her office and bleeding from a nasty head wound. Then I look down to the lower half of her body and see blood there, too. All I can think is that we need to get both of them, Ana and baby, to the hospital as quickly as possible.