Author's Note: Welcome to the last reward chapter of the season. There were some.. hiccups, but I think I ironed them out well.
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.
And now, the reviews!
That British Guy: I can understand it from a story standpoint, but it does mess up my nice and even elimination charts.
Starheart Specials: Sadly, that cannot be answered at the moment.
Current Castmates:
Boys: DJ, Victor
Girls: Heather, Kitsune, Sugar
Have patience young grasshoppers, someone will be eliminated next time.
Episode 22: Crouching Heather, Hidden Victor
"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over the usual shot of the film lot. "We brought back Victor for a rockin' episode!" The gentleman was shown parachuting. "With an appetite for destruction," Kitsune was shown picking up a dresser, "Kitsune won invincibility."
"Which was bad news for Heather considering the multiple people planning coups against her," Kitsune and Alejandro were shown sharing a look. "However, it was Alejandro who was sent home," the charmer was shown cursing in the back of the limo, "since he just couldn't shake off his untrustworthy reputation," Heather was shown talking to the other girls.
"Will Heather manage to dodge yet another elimination?" The queen bee was shown sitting on a bottom bunk and crossing her arms with a smug grin. "Will Victor survive the cutthroat Final Five?" The gentleman was shown in the confessional with a dejected look on his face.
"All this and more," the shot cut to Chris standing in front of the trailers, "on another thrilling episode of Total! Drama! Action!"
XXXXX
[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]
Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine
[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]
You guys are on my mind
[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]
You asked me what I wanted to be
[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]
And I think the answer is plain to see
[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]
I wanna be... famous
[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]
I wanna live close to the sun
[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won
[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]
Everything to prove, nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]
'Cause I wanna be... famous
[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]
(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.
The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]
XXXXX
The episode opened on a shot of the inside of the boys' trailer. The door slammed open and Victor fell and landed on his face. "I am surprised at the amount of energy the challenge sapped." He said as DJ stepped over him.
"I still can't believe we finally managed to get ridda Alejandro," DJ told his new roommate.
"Was it truly necessary to betray him though?" Victor asked, still on the floor.
XXX
"Victor does make a good point," DJ told the audience. "I mean, Kitsune actually kinda liked Al and she still voted him out like nothing. It makes me wonder if I should really trust'er. I'll ask Victor, they were on the same team."
XXX
"It might've been our only shot to vote him out," DJ explained as he got in his bunk. "Least that's what Kitsune said. You were teamed up with her. Can she be trusted?"
"I will admit she seems more at ease when she does not believe herself to be in danger," the gentleman responded as he claimed a bunk of his own. "But I am somewhat sure that she can be trusted at the moment."
"That doesn't exactly sound reassuring," DJ said warily.
"If I join your alliance, then she will outnumber Heather," the gentleman explained. "That should put her at enough ease to end her scheming."
"If?"
"I am... unsure if I want to ally with her after the previous elimination," Victor admitted. "While I understand why she did it, I do not know if I can accept it."
XXX
"There is also the small matter of my real reason for being here," Victor confessed. "I cannot join either side of the rivalry because I am tasked with getting both of them to the finale."
He sighed sadly. "I do not know why I was chosen for this. It goes against every fiber of my being!"
XXX
The static cut to a shot of Sugar snoring away in her bunk. The camera panned up to show Kitsune in her bunk staring down at the girl with a semi-annoyed expression before morphing into a smirk at the sound of Heather muttering something in her sleep.
The camera panned down and to the left to show a blanket-covered-Heather twitching and muttering something before her eyes widened and she leaped out of bed with a scream, covered in snails. She glared as Kitsune was heard laughing. "When are you going to grow up and stop with all these pranks?" She asked in frustration.
"When you stop acting like a... rhymes with witch," the goofball replied plainly.
XXX
"Normally I just prank whoever I can," Kitsune confessed. "But every so often there's that one person who's so... insert negative adjective, that I focus all my energy on making them as miserable as they try to make everyone else. I think there's a term for it, but I can't quite remember it."
XXX
The static cut to a group of snails making their way out of the trailer. "All you're doing is making me want to target you next," Heather told her rival.
"Aw, and here I thought we'd be the best of friends after getting rid of Al together," Kitsune said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. "I was even gonna make friendship bracelets." She dropped the act and said, "Listen here, now that Victor's back, you don't have a leg to stand on. It's three to two. Maybe four to one since Sleeping Beauty Queen down there was about to axe you too."
Heather grinned darkly. "I don't think that's gonna happen."
Kitsune tsked. "So delusional. So sad."
"Really, because I saw you openly admit to betraying Alejandro at the Gilded Chris ceremony. And you know how Victor feels about that," Heather bragged.
"Yeah well, you got him booted and Sugar got his girl booted," Kitsune retorted. "If anything, he's gonna work with me an' Deej. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." The camera focused in on her as the lights went out and she closed her eyes, and the world around her seemed to fade into something brighter and greener.
\
She awoke with a start to the sound of a large gong. The shot pulled out rapidly, showing that she and the others were all lying in the middle of some woods. Sugar and Heather were on the left and Victor and DJ on the right.
"Huh?" Sugar asked in confusion as she woke up.
"Were we kidnapped last night?" DJ asked in alarm.
Kitsune narrowed her eyes and sniffed the air. "What the? This is Campwawanakwa!"
A gust of wind blew through the clearing the five were in and the camera panned down just as Chris seemingly floated out of them in lotus position, wearing a white martial arts uniform with a red belt around his waist and a headband emblazoned with a Japanese 'rising sun'.
"No way," Sugar said, mouth open in shock.
"Awesome," Kitsune said with a grin.
The host floated past them, and the cast was oblivious to the wires leading up from his back. He stopped somewhere between Kitsune and Victor, flipped himself into a one-handed handstand, did a few mid-air somersaults, landed on one knee to punch the air a few times, then stood up and bowed; all with his eyes closed.
A gong sounded again, and he opened his eyes and unhooked his harness with a small smile. It 'floated' back the way he'd come from, and Kitsune's grin fell. "Aaaaand 'awesome' retracted."
"Honorable competitors," Chris announced, completely ignoring her, "welcome to the Total Drama Kung Fu reward challenge. Shot on location here," he motioned to the forest around them, "in the beautiful Japanese woods. "Today, we pit girls against boys."
"But the ladies outnumber us three to two," Victor pointed out.
"Good point Victor," said the host as he shot a finger pistol at the boy. "One of the girls will sit out the first part of the challenge, and it's up to them to to decide."
"Don't even think about it," Kitsune told Heather before she could open her mouth. "You've sat out enough this season."
"Sorry," the queen bee said as she turned up her nose. "I don't kung fu."
"Well I'm not trusting my chance at a reward to Sugar," she turned to the girl and added, "no offense."
"None taken," the pageant queen said jovially. "I don't wanna do it anyhow."
"And that's a majority vote," Chris announced to the annoyance of Heather.
XXX
"It turns out I won't just be sittin' around," Sugar told the audience. "Chris wants me to sniff around the teams and mess with'em." She rubbed her hands in anticipation. "That's somethin' I can do!"
XXX
"In kung fu movies," Chris explained as he paced between the castmates, "actors train with stunt choreographers before they film their fight scenes. So, today, each team will have a trainer and a fighter. And because I like marketing grudge matches, Victor and Heather will duke it out while DJ and Kitsune train them in the kung fu style of their choice." He struck a pose, then adopted an extremely stereotypical east -Asian accent for his final remarks. "The battle begins when noble heron flies east."
"In English please," Kitsune demanded.
"Four hours," Chris answered bluntly as he hooked his harness back around his waist. "May the best fu win! Excelsior!" A reverb effect was added to his final word, shouted as he ascended into the sky.
The camera panned past the boys as they shot unsure looks at each other and stopped on Heather and Kitsune. "Don't worry Heather," the goofball said darkly. "I've seen tons of these movies. By the time I'm through with you, you'll be a regular Mackie Hand."
"Who?" Heaather demanded. Kitsune's face fell into annoyance.
XXX
"I'll be honest," Kitsune confessed, "I was really excited to be the trainer. Yeah, kung fu fights can be tough, but the training can be brutal. And I can't wait to make that stuck up little you-know-what break a sweat or two."
XXX
The scene cut to a close up of Heather as she wiped a rag on the Lame-osine. "Remember," Kitsune said as the camera panned out to show her lounging on the hood, "clockwise then counter-clockwise." In the bushes, Sugar was watching and writing something down on a clipboard.
Chris showed up and walked to the goofball. "Can you make her wax my car too?" The host asked.
"Sure thing," Kitsune agreed. "Which one's yours?"
The camera pulled out to show an entire parking lot filled with expensive looking cars. "All of them." Host and contestant laughed.
\
The camera flashed to a close up of Victor, DJ, and a sleeping Chef. "Are you positive this is correct?" The gentleman asked his trainer.
DJ shrugged. "I think this is what they mean by that." The camera panned out to show Chef was shirtless and Victor was holding a can of hair wax. He applied it to the cook's chest and pulled off the paper.
The camera cut to a wincing Sugar as a cry of pain from Chef and screams of terror from DJ and Victor were heard.
\
The footage flashed forward to Victor doing push-ups and sweating. "That's it," DJ encouraged as the camera zoomed out. "Keep doin' those push-ups. Gotta boost your stamina."
The camera zoomed out some more showing an angry Heather and Kitsune. The former was doing push-ups while the latter stood on her back. "You call this form?" The goofball yelled. "You've only done fifty push-ups so far and you're already struggling! Stop goofin' off and put some effort into it!"
"I. Will. Destroy. You," Heather threatened, speaking in between push-ups.
The camera cut to a wide-eyed Victor and DJ. "I am grateful that you are my trainer," the gentleman said.
"Yeah, I'm actually feelin' sorry for Heather right now," DJ agreed.
\
A few loons called as the scene cut to Heather standing awkwardly on a post on one leg in the middle of the lake.
"Okay, you've already got good balance," Kitsune told her as she rowed up in a canoe filled with dodgeballs.
"Obviously," Heather bragged. "I've been taking ballet since I was four."
"Now keep that pose and avoid these hits!"
"What hits?" Asked an angry Heather.
Kitsune flashed a devious smile. "These!" She began to pelt the queen bee with the dodgeballs. Heather, to her credit, managed to knock a few away from her before being overwhelmed and getting knocked off.
She surfaced from the water and glared at her trainer, who was doubled over laughing.
\
The camera flashed to DJ and Victor sitting next to a picnic table that had a cloche on it.
"What is the purpose of this excersise?" Victor asked.
"Simple," DJ said as he removed the cloche and revealed a plate of sushi. "One by one we're both gonna reach for a roll. If you beat me, you get to eat it."
"Is this not usually done with a pebble?"
"Yes, but I thought food would be a better motivator since we haven't eaten today," DJ explained.
Victor looked down at his stomach as it growled ferociously.
XXX
"I gotta admit," DJ confessed. "I didn't really know what I was doin'. But Victor didn't seem to mind."
XXX
"The one thing I missed most of all was DJ's cooking," Victor told the audience before popping a sushi roll into his mouth.
XXX
The scene cut to Heather as she punched a straw dummy that had been strapped to a tree. The camera zoomed out to show Kitsune frowning.
"You're not bieng fierce enough," the goofball told her team mate.
Heather's eye twitched. "And what do you think I should do?"
"Pretend it's someone you hate," Kitsune advised.
The viewpoint shifted to show the dummy head-on, and with a ripple effect it changed into the image of Kitsune. The shot returned to normal to show Heather deliver a fierce flying kick that snapped both the dummy and tree in half.
"That's more like it!" Kitsune cheered.
The camera cut to Sugar hiding in some nearby bushes. "Ouch," she said to herself as she wrote some more notes.
\
The camera flashed to a punching bag with a crude drawing of the bouncer from the last episode on it.
"I know this probably isn't your thing," DJ explained as the camera zoomed out to show the two boys standing next to it, "but you need to dig deep and get your anger out. Then, you gotta unleash it on your enemies. Or this dummy."
"I am uncomfortable with this," Victor explained.
"Come on," DJ goaded. "There's gotta be someone on this planet you hate."
"I am sorry," Victor said. "But I cannot do this." He walked away, leaving a guilty DJ.
\
The footage skipped ahead, flashing over to the top of a pagoda. A gong sounded, and the camera panned down, showing the two teams walking up to smaller buildings on either side of the main pagoda. In the middle was a wide flat area with nothing in it save a large object hidden behind an ornate paper divider.
A puff of pink smoke went off in front of the mystery object, and Chris emerged from it playing a Chinese pan flute. He tossed it away after a few notes, then turned around and addressed the camera. "Most worthy competitors!" he began. "Welcome to the Total Drama Kung Fu Showdown!"
The scene immediately cut away to the tops of some pine trees as someone in sandals began running across them. Zooming out and up the figure was revealed to be Chef, now dressed as a rough approximation of an unarmored samurai. He did a few mid-air spins as he jumped from the trees to the roofs, then down to the ground slicing the paper divider a few times with his katana before leaping away. The cuts inexplicably set on fire, and the divider quickly burned away to reveal a pair of large red and blue robotic exosuits.
The gong sounded, and the castmates gasped. "See, the fighters go in the robot suits," Chris explained, "and the trainers operate 'em with these here joysticks!" He whipped out a pair of old-school video game joysticks from behind his back to show the teams.
"What was the point of letting her put me through all that then?" Heather asked in disbelief.
"It's a lesson in zen, oh young one," the host explained happily before throwing the joysticks to Kitsune and DJ as though he were performing a martial arts maneuver. "Two minutes till the match begins! Suit up, fighters!" He vanished in another puff of pink smoke.
"Are you positive about this?" Victor, now strapped in the red suit, asked nervously.
"No sweat," the brickhouse replied jovially. "It's like a video game."
The camera quick-panned to show Heather, now strapped in the blue suit, and Kitsune. The latter was testing controls. Heather was forced to hit herself in the face. "Arms work!" The goofball called. She was then forced to kick her self in the face. "Legs work too!"
Just then, Chris reappeared in yet another puff of pink smoke. "Enough practice!" he said as the gong was rung. "When the beautiful geisha sounds the gong, the match will begin."
He motioned over to the gong, where Sugar stood by in full geisha garb including makeup and wig. Holding a folded-up paper fan in one hand and a gong mallet in the other, she far too happy to be there.
"Quick question," Kitsune said raising her hand. "Why is she a geisha when they're Japanese. Kung fu movies started in Hong Kong."
"Don't ruin this fer me!" Sugar yelled. "I feel like I just won an Asian pageant."
"Can we get on with the show?" Chris asked irately. "Preferably before you guys cause anymore lawsuits."
Sugar shrugged, then made her way over to Kitsune. "Victor don't really wanna do this," she told the trainer, "so you should have no trouble beatin' him."
"Easier said than done," Kitsune grumbled. "Heather's burned all her bridges with the guy."
"Not to mention that it's actually DJ who's doing the fighting," Heather spat.
"I just thought I'd help out my alliance mate!" Sugar huffed. The camera panned over to the guys, who were watching in confusion.
"What's goin' on over there?" DJ asked his partner.
"You could attempt to ask her," Victor suggested. "She is coming this way." The camera pulled back to show that Sugar was making her way over to the guys, albeit with a bit of stumbling.
"Hey, I got some info for you guys," she stage whispered to the brickhouse.
"I do not want to cheat," Victor declared uncharacteristically glaring at her.
"It's not cheatin' if I helped the girls too," the pageant queen pointed out.
"Why help both of us?" DJ asked in suspicion.
"I'm trying to help y'all so I don't hafta keep followin' Heather," she explained. "Now do you want the help or not?"
Victor sighed. "If it will even the playing field."
"I ain't too sure it matters any more," she whispered. "But I saw Heather kick a tree in half just 'cause Kitsune ticked'er off."
XXX
"That bitta goodwill should convince the others to trust me," Sugar confessed. "I think I'll take out the big one first, no way any'o'us's beatin' him in a finale."
XXX
The footage cut back to Chris standing in a meditative pose as Sugar walked up to him and cleared her throat.
"So, which team got the inside track?" the host asked in a hushed tone with a sideways glance towards her.
"Both of'em," she answered plainly.
"Wait, you fed both teams information?" Chris repeated in disbelief. "You were supposed to sabotage one of them to make things more interesting!"
"I got my own things to worry about!" Sugar retorted. "And it ain't interestin' if only one side knows about the other."
Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and grunted in irritation. "Fine! Whatever! Just hit the gong already, okay?"
Sugar huffed, walked over to the gong, and struck it with her mallet. The sound reverberated through the air, shaking both geisha and host. "Let the match begin!" Chris announced, his voice wobbling.
Kitsune and DJ were each shown moving their joysticks, and the suited-up fighters approached each other.
Victor stuck first, kicking Heather in the leg. The queen bee cried in pain.
"My apologies," the gentleman said.
Heather reached out her right arm and backhanded the gentleman. "Nice fighting!" She taunted.
The camera cut to DJ as he narrowed his eyes and hurriedly put in a bunch of commands. Victor in turn unleashed of flurry of punches. "I really am quite sorry for this!" He told her as he continued his onslaught.
The queen bee was knocked back several yards, and Kitsune narrowed her eyes. "You wanna play?" She asked dangerously. "Let's play." She punched two buttons and pushed her joystick forward, and Heather jumped high into the air. Her suit was obscured by the sun before she came back down with one outstretched fist. The camera cut to Victor's shocked face.
XXX
"Let this confessional serve as the Last Will and Testament of Victor Octavius Lawson IV," the gentleman started. "To my dear friend Malcolm, I leave-"
XXX
The footage returned to show various parts of the red suit fly past the camera before Victor landed unceremoniously on his back with a pained grunt.
Chris ducked into the shot. "That's gotta hurt," he winced looking back at the gentleman. "Think he survived? Come on back after the break. "Medic!"
\
(Commercial Break)
\
The episode retuned to a shot of Kitsune and DJ looking down at something from above. "Please tell me I didn't kill him!" the fox lover pleaded as the viewpoint inverted to show Victor still lying on the ground where he'd landed.
He groaned once more before opening his eyes. "That was quite painful," he muttered by way of a joke.
"And the winners are," Chris announced, "the girls!"
The shot pulled back to show the winning team, Heather still in her suit and glaring.
"Can somebody let me out now?" she complained.
Without warning, Chef lept out from off-camera and sliced the front off the suit with his sword. Heather yelped in fear as he did so, and seconds later the front half of the suit was lying on the ground. Heather fell out moment later and when she got up, her chest was pixelated. She noticed the wardrobe malfunction and ran away screaming while covering herself.
XXX
Kitsune did say much in her confessional, as it was made unintelligible by her hysterical laughter. She took a deep breath and wiped a tear from her eye... before bursting into laughter again.
XXX
"The girls have won the first challenge," the host explained as the scene returned to everyone lined up, "and they'll be continuing on to compete for the reward. Guys," he turned to the losing team, "you're gone. Here's where things get interesting."
"I hate when he says that," Kitsune complained. "It's just code for 'painful'."
"Correction," Chris told her with a grin, "exciting is code for painful. 'Interesting' always means life-threatening."
They guys sighed in relief, and the girls groaned.
"Each of you must carry a glass of water to the top of the tallest mountain in Japan, Mt. Banshee." Chris explained, holding up a glass of water and motioning behind him. The camera quick-panned to a shot of Camp Wawanakwa's thousand-foot-high cliff, then zoomed in to show a potted bonsai tree sitting on a rock.
"There you'll find a bonsai tree guarded by a mysterious kung fu master." The shot panned to a cave on the left, where the Sasquatchankwa sat cross-legged dressed in a Raiden-esque manner. In front of him was a campfire, where a tea kettle hung on a stick. "Try not to spill any water on the way up," Chris warned as the shot zoomed in on the kettle and crackling flame, "you'll need it to brew kung fu tea as payment for the bonsai."
"And if there isn't enough water to make his calming tea," the host continued as the shot moved back to him, "he'll give you a fatali-tea." He dumped out the glass and let it fell with a tinkling crash, and the two girls shot each other worried looks. "First girl to bring the bonsai back down the mountain alive, wins. Oh, and since this is the second part of the challenge, Sugar gets to compete for the reward too! As for our losers," he turned back to the guys, "you're sentenced to zen lessons." The two shared a confused look. "AKA, kitchen duty!"
The two looked at each other as Chef approached. "March two three four!" he ordered, poking Victor with his sword. "March two three four!" He repeated the gesture with DJ, and herded the two teens off-camera. "Let's go! Ease up!"
\
The camera flashed to the base of the mountain, where the three girls stood with their water glasses.
"Is it me or is this thing taller than before?" Kitsune mused.
"It ain't just you," Sugar replied.
Heather huffed. "Let's just get this over with."
The three girls began a wordless climb. Heather grabbed for a small outcropping, but slipped and almost fell.
"Stupid water!" She complained. "How am I supposed to win like this?"
"It'd help if you'd stop complaining every five minutes," Kitsune commented as she passed her.
\
The scene flashed to the kitchen, where Victor was washing dishes with his back to the camera. "I really am quite contrite over losing the reward," the gentlmen said to DJ, who was washing a glass nearby.
"Don't worry about it," the brickhouse said. "I coulda done better trainin' you. And controllin' you."
Just then, Chef Hatchet dropped a large pot filled with cooking knives on a small table behind DJ, instantly gaining the attention of both losers. "Shut your traps and grab a blade," he told them as he walked past.
"I was uncomfortable enough when we were fighting unarmed," Victor complained as he examine a knife in his hand. "I refuse to do so with a weapon."
"Yeah," DJ agreed, holding a knife of his own. "This seems a little extreme for a punishment."
"Y'all are gonna use those blades to cook a meal fit for a warrior," Chef explained as he returned pushing a large tank of water on wheels. "Kung Fu Noodle Soup. Vegetable stock, noodles, and the seven deadliest species of fish known to man."
"You got your rabid piranha," a piranha jumped out of the water and snapped its jaws before slashing back down; "poisonous blowfish," a blowfish jumped up and briefly inflated itself; "electric eel," an eel bristling with electricity was the next to leap into the air; "toxic jellyfish," the purple blob merely surfaced, scooted an inch or so across the water, then dove back down; "lethal swordfish," the next fish was nearly as long as the tank itself and looked very menacing; "man-eating shark!" A shark that was somehow larger than the tank itself jumped up out of the water, and the camera cut outside to see it leap higher than the roof of the tent and roar before several pinkish tentacles shot out, grabbed it, and pulled it back in; "And killer octopus!" Chef finished with a chuckle as the tentacles reeled the shark back into the tank with a splash.
"Now, who's ready to start?" he asked the two with a serious expression. The shot panned over to the left where the boys were huddled together on top of the stove, both wide-eyed with fear.
\
The camera flashed to one of Kitsune's sneakers before panning out to show her slowly inching her way up the mountain. "If I'd known I was gonna be climbing mountains," she said in between gasps, "I'd have worn pants!"
The camera panned up to show Heather and Sugar looking down at the goofball before smirking to each other. "Just think," Heather gloated, "once we win the reward and share it with Victor, he'll be on our side!"
"That might work," the goofball agreed. "But which one of you will do it? Only one person can win and they're more likely to get his vote."
The two villains glared at each other. "Obviously it'll be me," Heather said. "Everyone knows I'm the captain of this alliance."
"I did better in the game than you!" Sugar retorted.
"How?" Heather asked snidely. "I got rid of Mike, Zoey, Noah, Victor, Samey, and Alejandro."
"You're just takin' credit for other people votin' with you," Sugar commented. "I'm the one who got ridda Sky and Shawn!"
"Wait," Heather glared. "You got rid of Shawn on purpose?"
Kitsune made her way past them. "Have fun working that out," she taunted as she climbed out of view.
\
The scene cut back once more to the kitchen, the camera lingering on a close-up of the water tank before pulling back to show DJ and Victor lurking fearfully at its edge.
"Perhaps the fish are less aggressive at the moment," Victor suggested as he carefully plunged his knife into the tank. It stayed there for a second before something beneath the surface seemed to grab it and vigorously shake it. He let go and the weapon sunk into the tank. A moment later a bubble surfaced and popping, sounding like a belch.
"How about I handle these guys and you take the noodles," DJ suggested.
"I could not leave you with all the hard work," the gentleman retorted. "I am quite skilled at serving fish anyway."
Two tentacles came out of the water and curled into fists. "Think of it as helpin'." DJ said as he brandished his own fists. "If we do this at the same time, then we'll be done that much faster." He and the tentacles then entered a boxing match, with Victor watching unsurely.
\
The scene cut back to the three scaling the cliff. Heather and Sugar had regained their lead, but Kitsune wasn't far behind.
None of the three spoke, although Heather and Sugar shot each other the occasional glare, and Kitsune's eyes drifted between both.
XXX
"It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to split up the Terrible Twosome just in case Victor doesn't want to side with me. And also considering that DJ and I never officially restarted our alliance. I really do need to fix that soon."
XXX
"So Heather," the goofball started. "How does it feel you've been played for a sucker the whole season. I bet it sucks."
"What and you knew about it?" Heather shot back.
"Of course I did," Kitsune replied with a smirk. "I even tried to warn you a couple of times. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if it was her idea to betray you and not Al's."
Sugar narrowed her eyes. "Just what are you-"
"And you must be exhausted," Kitsune said the the pageant queen. "Pretending to be dumb all that time, having to listen to insult after insult about your intelligence. I don't think I could ever ally with someone who treated me like that."
The two villains glared at each other once more.
\
Victor was humming a classical tune to himself as he set a pot of water to boil, then read off a piece of paper on the counter next to her. "Are you certain that you require no assistance?" He asked DJ as the camera panned over to him batting away pirahna with a skillet as if he were a tennis player.
"I'm good!" The brickhouse called out.
"It is just that, the noodles only require time to boil and I hate watching you while I do nothing."
The camera cut to DJ knife fighting with a jellyfish tentacle. "I've got'em on the run!"
XXX
"It's the Final Five," DJ told the confessional. "And sooner or later people are gonna pick up on how athletic I am, so I need an alliance or two to keep me in the game. So if I do all the heavy lifting for this soup, that might help earn me some points with Victor. It'll definitely help with whoever wins the reward."
XXX
The scene flashed to the Sasquatch waiting in its cave at the top of the mountain, the camera panning off to the left to show the three girls as they finally reached the peak. Sugar and Heather still had the lead, but Kitsune bolted past the two and stopped at the Sasquatch.
Heather narrowed her eyes. "You don't have any water!" She pointed out.
The camera cut back to the goofball to show that her glass was in fact empty. But with a smirk, she spat water out of her mouth and into her glass, then handed it to the 'master.' It looked at the glass with an uncertain grimace.
XXX
The Sasquatch was the one in the confessional. "Ew," it complained in a deep and hoarse voice.
XXX
The footage returned to Heather and Sugar watching in shock as Kitsune ran past them with the bonsai. Their eyes widened in fear and the camera panned out to show the Sasquatch glaring at them. Their screams of terror were heard over a long distance shot of the mountain.
\
The footage skipped ahead to night in the craft services tent. It had been rearranged so that a single table sat along the far end loaded with seafood, and various Japanese-themed decorations had been put up around the room. Kitsune sat at the table and DJ and Victor brought a large pot to her while Heather and Sugar stood in the window and glared.
"Would you care for some Kung Fu Noodle Soup?" Victor asked as he gestured to the pot in DJ's hands.
"Like i'd turn down DJ's cooking!" Kitsune cheered. Victor ladled her some soup but before they could leave she said, "Hey, sit down and enjoy your food."
The two boys shrugged and joined her. "So, how about the three of us forming an alliance?" She asked as soon as they sat down.
"I'm game," DJ said with a smile. The two turned to Victor with expectant smiles.
"Might I have some time to think it over?" He asked nervously.
The camera cut to Heather and Sugar outside. "And there goes any chance I had at regaining the numbers advantage," Heather complained.
"I don't see how," Sugar retorted. "All we gotta do is convince Victor to join us. He ain't really tryin' to be with them."
"You're right," Heather said. Her eyes widened in shock. "I can't believe I just said that."
The camera cut to the tent's entrance after Heather left, and Chris soon stepped into view. "Wow, that's sad," he told the camera. "And by sad, I mean pathetic," he smiled. "Will Heather be able to regain her bad guy credibility after being outsmarted by Sugar?" Chris asked. "Will Victor ever choose a side? And will anything be able to top all this excitement?"
"Probably," he answered immediately. "Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Roll the Credits)
\
\
(Bonus Clip)
"I'm fellin' pretty happy with the way things are right now," DJ confessed. "I'm pretty sure Victor's gonna join me an' Kitsune, so that means we'll be the Final Three. And I think I can beat them both to win."
A deep muttering came from outside the trailer. "Where'd you come from?" The brickhouse asked.
More muttereing. "There some leftovers in the kitchen."
Pleading muttering. "Dude, you're way too big to fit in the trailer. What's wrong with the woods?"
Pitiful muttering. "I thought bigfoots didn't care about that stuff."
Angry muttering. "Okay! I'm sorry I didn't mean to stereotype."
Thundering footsteps faded away. "That was weird."
Author's Note Post Script: I can't talk too much about plots, because it all bleeds into next chapter's elimination. But I can talk about two things. Both training sessions were comedic relief, and I hope you liked them.
With that I'm signing off
-TotalDramaFan14
RDA ELIMINATION TABLE:
16th Place: Mike/Zoey
15th Place: Zoey/Mike
14th Place: Amy
13th Place: Noah
12th Place: Sky
11th Place: Harold
10th Place: Shawn
Eliminated: Victor
9th Place: Leshawna
8th Place: Sammy
7th Place: Duncan
6th Place: Alejandro