Apologies

Dear Mr President,

I am sincerely writing this letter to apologise for my unacceptable behaviour. I am deeply sorry for stealing (admiring) your wallet. And your watch. I am sorry that I could not control myself. But it was just so shiny, and I just had to inspect it, you see.

However, it seems that you might not share the same views as I do, so I apologise for any inconveniences I may have caused. I will try to refrain myself from taking other people's belongings, (no promises though) and I will attempt to have better self control.

If I had known that I was stealing (borrowing) from you, Mr President, then… actually, I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have asked for an autograph, (and possibly look after your watch for a while. It is beautiful, by the way.) I do hope that this will not damage our close bond we share. It would be rather a shame otherwise.

I just wanted to ask you something, sir, if that was okay. What would you do if there was an annoying girl that was glaring at you and threatening you to smash your brain out with a shovel? Not that I was hinting that there was a girl holding a shovel in front of me or anything. But I would like to know if there was any advise as to how I could deal with this situation. Any answers you are willing to give will be appreciated. It turns out that she does not approve of my actions or behaviours. (I think she is still mad at me for putting hair dye in her shampoo. The neon green only lasted for about a week, so I have no idea why she would be so upset.)

Anyway, I should stop writing soon, since my hand is getting quite sore (I have never been forced to write an apology letter before) and my brain is about to melt. The pain of dyslexia . I will (try) not to bother you anymore, so please forgive me. I would hate to end up on the Wanted List. If you are going to hunt me down, please contact me so I can supply a good selfie for the posters. I don't really like the photos they use. The quality and the lighting isn't great. That would be very much appreciated.

Please forgive my actions, and I hope you are not too cross with me for 'taking' your belongings. I have included the items in the package.

Sincerely,

T.S

(I don't really want to put my full name, just in case this very important letter falls into the wrong hands.)

P.S. I have included some other items that some people might want back. I was wondering if you could return these to their correct owners? If not, you can always send it back, I don't mind. It's just an iPhone I took from someone from the royal family and a passport from a business man. I think he might have been from the British Government actually. (Or is the British Government. One or the other.)

AN - Hello again! This one is based on one of my earlier stories. One of the lovely guests left a suggestion and it inspired me to do this (sorry it's not exactly the same as your prompt…) . I hope you all liked it. Also, please tell me one of you got that reference at the end…

Question time - Have any of you ever lost something or had something expensive stolen?

I know I lost a pair of expensive earrings in a swimming pool and I almost left behind my phone at the shops. It's really depressing how much I fail at life…

Anyway, until next time, bye!