Chapter 8

Three Months Later:

Christian's POV:

After three long months, we finally get to take our beautiful daughter, Charlotte, home. It has not been an easy journey these last few months, by any means. When Charlotte was first born, it was touch and go for the first few weeks. With her birth weight and early arrival, the doctors weren't sure if she would even live the first 24 hours. So, we took Charlotte's care minute by minute, then hour by hour, and then day by day, but she defied the odds and survived like, in my heart, I knew she would.

All the while, when Charlotte was fighting for her life, Ana was fighting for hers as well. Ana started chemotherapy six weeks after Charlotte was born because she needed time to heal from the trauma of the attack and the c-section. With Ana's and Charlotte's health in such fragile state, Ana hasn't been able to see much of Charlotte because of both of their fragile immune systems being so compromised, Ana's by chemotherapy and Charlotte' because of her early birth. Ana has been so sick because of her treatments, she hasn't even been able to hold Charlotte. I have only been able to touch Charlotte through the portholes in the incubator.

Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery, who is the doctor on Charlotte's case, wants to do skin-to-skin contact, but we haven't been able to attempt it yet because she is so tiny. But, she has been gaining weight slowly. We had some setbacks in the beginning on that front because her weight kept fluctuating. She would gain weight one day then lose it the next. We have finally gotten that under control with the right mixture of formula and Ana's breast milk that we saved before she started treatment. So far, Charlotte has gained 3lb 6 oz. for a total of 6lb 8oz, and after all this time, we get to take our little princess home.

It's a bittersweet day. Yes, Charlotte gets to come home finally, but Ana doesn't get to join us. Moving her away from the hospital is against doctors' orders. I have Escala outfitted with everything Charlotte might need once we're home because I want to protect my daughter at any cost. I have a special car seat set up in the SUV that was recommended for preemies, and her nursery is setup with everything we may need as well.

So, I am getting ready to leave Escala to bring Charlotte home. I just wish Ana was joining us. Our family won't be complete until she is home with us as well. I have asked my mother to come with me to pick up Charlotte because, truthfully, I am petrified to take care of Charlotte on my own. Over the last few months there have always been doctors and nurses around when I went to spend time with her. There is always someone there to make sure I'm doing everything right, and someone is always there if something goes wrong. After today we are on our own, and that scares me to death. As of tonight, Charlotte will depend on me for everything, and I won't have any medical professionals there as back up. Over the last few months I have done my research and interviewed specialist in premature births so, I am prepared. As a first-time father of a very fragile child, I am so scared something could go wrong. I arrive at the hospital with my mother. As we enter the lobby, my heart starts beating faster and I feel myself break out into a sweat. I turn to my mother.

"I'm scared, Mom. What if I can't do this? What if something goes wrong the minute we leave the hospital?"

"Christian, look at me. Everything will be fine with Charlotte once you're on your own. They wouldn't be releasing her to go home today if there was any question about her care, Honey. I know you're scared, but you have all of us to support you and Charlotte, and I am only a phone call away if you need anything tonight. Plus, I know you, Christian. You will do anything to protect that little girl with your life."

"Mother, I don't have Ana to help me. I'm on my own."

"Christian, my sweet boy, Ana trusts and loves you and Charlotte. You know, if she could take Charlotte home with you right now, she would be with you two in a heartbeat."

"I know, Mom, I just miss holding her, kissing her, hearing her laugh."

"I know, my boy. She will be home soon."

"I really hope so. I need to see her before we bring Charlotte home."

"Why don't you do it now, while I spend some quality time with my granddaughter."

"Thank you, Mom, I won't be long, I promise."

I arrive at Ana's room and I take a deep breath before going inside. I wash my hands with hand sanitizer and grab a face mask and paper gown and change so I don't breathe or bring in outside contaminants the could set back Ana's recovery. I enter the room and see Ana is asleep in the too-big-for-her hospital bed. I sit in the chair beside the Ana's bed and take her hand in mine.

"Hi, baby. I came to check on you before I took Charlotte home today, but it truly won't be home until your home with us, baby". Ana turns her head at my voice.

"Christian."

"I'm here, baby."

I can see the pain in Ana's eyes and that breaks my heart. I wish I could take away all her pain, I really do. Two months ago, Ana was fine. She had started treatment and those were brutal sessions, but she was home with me at Escala. We spent most of our time at the hospital between treatments with Ana, and seeing Charlotte on a daily basis. I haven't been outside these hospital walls in a while. I can't sleep at Escala without my family so most nights I end up sleeping in my mother's office on her couch. I have taken an extend leave of absence from GEH for the foreseeable future, but I left it in good hands with Roz. If anything that truly needs my attention came up, she would call me. My thought get pulled back to the present when I feel Ana tug on my hand.

"What is it, baby?"

"Water."

I grab the water that is sitting on the bedside table and put the straw to Ana's lips.

"Slow sips, baby."

Ana tries to smile but she is too weak. She quits drinking and lays back against the pillows supporting her, her voice is so weak I can barely hear her.

"How is she?"

"Baby, Charlotte is fine. She is getting ready to come home today."

Ana smiles and I see tears fill her eyes.

"Shhh, Angel, you'll be home with us soon, you'll see."

"Christian."

"Ana, please save your strength, baby."

Seeing Ana this weak, I think back to how we got here. Two months ago, the chemotherapy seemed to stop working and Ana was getting weaker by the day. So, Dr. Swender suggested we do a whole immune system reboot and see if that cures Ana. So, for the last month, Ana has been in isolation. After doing a left breast mastectomy to get rid of the main tumorous mass, they have administered an extreme dose of chemotherapy to kill her infected immune system. They are hoping deconstructive chemotherapy will be Ana's cure. I am hoping, that once this is over, Ana and I can get back to building our life and family. I can see Ana is getting worn out, so I kiss her though my mask, squeeze her hand, and tell her I love her and will see her tomorrow, then I leave her room.