Random Drama Action

by TotalDramaFan14

[Sequel to Random Drama Island] Season one has come and gone, and now the fifteen that tied in the last challenge have been given another chance to win on season two. This time they're competing at an abandoned film lot and the last cast mate standing will win one million dollars

27. Red Carpet Reunion Special

Author's Note: I know I said Sunday, but I may or may not have internet then and I wanted to be sure you weren't left waiting. Anyhoo, it's here! The episode people have been looking forward to since season one! Today, two new people join fifteen old ones in a season taking place all over the world. But who will that group of seventeen be? Find out now.

Oh and one more thing, for the new guy's voice, picture a Noah with a head cold.

Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And now, the reviews!

Rouge Tundra: Thanks! I'm excited for your reaction.

StarHeart Specials: At least she still got money from the show. But yeah, I'm glad DJ won and I wrote it. As you can see I posted a little early, but at least you won't be left waiting.

That British Guy: You don't have to guess any longer. Just read on :)

mattafat: Yep he won. You'll find out about the new cast soon...

Guest: I hated it too, it why I decided on him as a finalist so soon. You have good guesses, now it's time to see if you're right.

Derick Lindsey: I won't lie. You made me laugh out loud. Don't worry, she only holds grudges against reality show villains and birds. Maybe open was a bad choice of words, I think 'unresolved' is better. You'll see what I mean soon enough.

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for. Have you any idea who the two latest Randomverse contestants will be? Keep in mind that it's gonna be one boy and one girl; a villain from Danger Island and a hero that was actually part of the original cast. Oh, and most importantly, the two newbies were chosen absolutely at random. Nobody picked them out, trust me.

---

Special Episode: Celbrity Manhunt's Total Drama Action Reunion Special

The scene opened on what was meant to look like a beeping TV satellite watching the Earth from afar, only the wires audibly pulling it up hinting that it was a fake. The shot rapidly 'zoomed in' to the planet and the camera panned down to a limousine under a streetlight where a white-skinned hand was waving out of its open door; the door slammed and crushed the arm, and the limo drove away. The shot quickly panned left to show a dumpster in the foreground just in front of a chain link fence; a pair of hands holding a camera popped out of the trash and took a photo.

That flash transitioned the sequence to a few people walking around in an airport, some sort of logo flashing on to a hanging television screen. The shot panned down and to the left again as a furry hand poked out of a potted plant and snapped another photo.

Next was a scene of a straight white couple on what looked like a date at an upscale restaurant, although only the guy had a plate of food. The guy started to choke and the girl looked taken aback, and the camera panned to the right to a bowl of soup. A tentacle emerged from the soup holding a camera of its own, and took yet another picture. A fat black guy holding a tape recorder got kicked in the groin, and a scruffy white cameraman got punched out by a large black fist.

Another white man appeared in close-up with his back to the camera, this one with black hair slightly streaked with gray. He had been looking out at a city at night, then turned around as the shot zoomed out to show him to be fairly handsome and wearing a tuxedo. The skyline was revealed to be just a poster with a homeless man sleeping below it, and the name 'JOSH' appeared at the top of the screen.

A quick roll of blank film strip scrolling past the camera transitioned the shot to a close-up of a white woman's hand getting its nails painted red. The shot zoomed out again to show the woman as being young, attractive, and blonde; her dress matched her nails and was both low-cut and tight. Standing by a director's chair and stage light, the woman put her hands on her hips and waggled her eyebrows at the camera. The name 'BLAINELEY' appeared on the screen.

A reel of film rolled through the screen, leaving behind a yellow-and-gold background. All at once a magnifying glass appeared in the middle of the scene, its lens showing a star against a purple background. A few black shoe prints were placed over the star and the camera cut to the inside of the studio.

Inside, Josh and Blaineley were seated together at a desk with the logo shown earlier plastered on the front.

"Hey there celebrity lovers," Josh said as the camera zoomed in. "Welcome to a very special edition of Celebrity Manhunt!" The shot cut his close-up.

"Tonight is the night we've been waiting for all year,"said Blaineley, "the Gemmie Awards!" The scene changed to a silhouette of a man and a woman standing on the red carpet together under a spotlight. "That's when our favorite TV stars get all dressed up and take home the gold!" The silhouetted couple were suddenly crushed by a giant gold statuette shaped like a woman holding up a television.

"In about a half an hour we'll take you right on to the red carpet to meet the hottest stars!" the man said as the scene flashed to an actual red carpet at night where limos were pulling up and crowds on either side of the carpet were cheering wildly. The camera rapidly flew up the carpet and through the doors, where the blinding light from inside transitioned the scene back to the studio.

"I am so pumped for this," Blaineley said, "are you Josh?"

"Oh yeah," Josh said.

"The shoes!" she continued, raising up her leg and motioning to her own foot.

"The tuxes!" Josh added with a pat of his own clothes.

"The hair!" the woman pointed to a lock of her own hair.

"The drama!" the man said with a smile, and the two hosts leaned towards the camera and squealed.

XXXXX

[A stage light pops up in front of some fake buildings and turns on; a camera with a rat on top of it comes out of a manhole; another camera comes out of the hollow of a tree, along with some garbage and a very confused raccoon. A pair of hands claps a film slate in front of the camera, and the camera flies through the film lot; Chris drives a golf cart with Chef in the passenger side in the camera's path. The host grins and waves and the cook crosses his arms and scowls as the lyrics start]

Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine

[The camera passes through a tree and files down a road between the studio warehouses, dodging a farm backdrop and a sunset backdrop before flying through a costume rack]

You guys are on my mind

[The camera flies up the fake mountain and peeks over the edge to see a pool of water, then jumps in]

You asked me what I wanted to be

[As the camera lands in the pool, bubbles fill the screen and then disapate to show Sugar in her bikini with a large shark behind her. The pageant queen farts as the shark opens its mouth, then it chokes]

And I think the answer is plain to see

[The camera pans up to show Harold on a surfboard hooked up to some rigging. He tries to dodge seagulls that are shooting past him like bullets, only to take one to the face and be knocked in the water.]

I wanna be... famous

[The camera quick pans to the left, showing Duncan manning what can only be described as a seagull cannon with a sadistic grin on his face. The camera pans back to show Sky looking at the punk with contempt as he fires the rest of the gulls. The camera flies between them, then pauses in front of a large door as Sasquatchanawkwa runs across it in a pink dress and boa The door opens and the camera flies into a bright light.]

I wanna live close to the sun

[The light fades into a shot of the beach set where Leshawna sits on a pool chair. She is flanked with sharks in their own chairs The camera zooms in on Leshawna as she gives a huge smile.]

Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won

[The camera pans to the right and ending up on Noah in the confessional reading a book with a smug expression pn his face and his legs propped up on the table. He leans back and goes too far as he falls backwards.]

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day

[The camera quick pans to the right again to show Heather and a bald and camo cap wearing Alejandro on rock pillars against a dark backdrop. The two have dueling sticks, Heather's is blue and Alejandro's is orange. Alejandro hits Heather a few times and she responds with a jab to his face, his cap falls off and the camera quick pans down to show the hat falling perfectly on DJ's head.]

'Cause I wanna be... famous

[The camera zooms out a bit to show DJ stirring a metal pot with a smile on his face. He pulls out a small orange bottle and sprinkles something in the pot, takes out a spoon and offers it to someone off-screen; the camera zooms out more to show he was offering it to Sammy, who giggles and kisses him on the cheek. The camera pans out to show Amy watching the scene on one of two monitors in another room with a look of disgust on her face. She angrily presses a button and is surprised when an explosion rocks the other screen.]

(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

[The camera cuts to the explosion as it fades away revealing a slightly singed Shawn nervously looking around... only to scream and run away to the right past a zombie in familliar clothing. The zombie reveals itself to be Kitsune, who giggles to herself as he runs past. The camera follows him as he runs past the Lame-o-sine then stops at the vehicle.]

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)

[The camera zooms in on the limousine's window, which rolls down to show a smiling Mike and Zoey. The window behind them rolls down to show Victor smiling at the couple. He opens the door with an formal bow. The camera flies past a series of flashes as if it were going down the red carpet and stops at Chris in a blue tux on the amphitheatre. The host grins and opens an evelope, then looks over at a scowling dress-wearing Chef as he holds a tray of Guilded Chris's. Chris purses his lips and gives a look to the camera. The camera zooms out to show the scene was being watched on a monitor, then pans down to Gwen and Trent, the latter strumming the last few notes of the theme on his guitar.

The camera zooms out to show the non competitors on the center couch of what looked to be the set of a talk show, flanked by two double tiered couches. On the top left: Noah, Sammy, DJ, and Tyler. On the bottom left: Zoey, Mike, Leshawna, Harold, Duncan, and Kitsune. On the top right: Staci, Malcolm, Victor, Sky, and Alejandro. And on the bottom right: Scarlett, Sugar, Shawn, Amy and Heather. The feed on the monitor fizzles out and changes to the Total Drama Action logo]

XXXXX

A door was heard closing and a limousine was shown squealing its tires as it sped away. The camera followed it briefly and passed a trashcan with a star spray painted on the sign. The letters 'CM' appeared on the screen in blocky red type, and a pair of arms holding a camera popped out of the trashcan and took a photo.

The flash took the scene back to the studio. "Welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt!" Blaineley said. "We thought we'd pay tribute to this year's most famous reality show cast: the teens who braved it all on the set of Total Drama Island," the first season's logo appeared in the corner of the screen, "and, Total Drama Action!" The second season's logo appeared below the first's.

A flash took the scene back to the red carpet. "We'll catch you up on Kitsune, Victor, Heather, Trent, Duncan..." As Josh spoke each contestant's name, a small portrait of them appeared on screen. The first five took up the top row of the screen. "...Gwen, Sugar, Amy and Sammy, Malcolm, Noah...," the next six formed the second row. "...Alejandro, DJ, Scarlett, Harold, Tyler, Sky...," were the third row. "...Staci, Leshawna, Mike, Zoey, and Shawn," rounded out the bottom row.

"They're nominated in the category of Best Reality Ensemble," Blaineley explained before the scene flashed back to the studio again.

"I think they're gonna nail it, Blaineley!" Josh said enthusiastically.

"No doubt," his cohost said.

"And when they reunite on that crimson rug," an image of a golden version of the Total Drama cast was shown against a yellow background with a large medical needle approaching them to the side, "Celebrity Manhunt will drain every last drop of drama from these uber-famous teens." The needle stuck into the group and slowly sucked away their golden color, leaving them as black-and-white outlines of their former selves.

"Love it!" the two hosts declared, sharing a fist bump.

"Total Drama may have ended," Blaineley said, "but the drama goes on, and on! Our crack team of undercover gossip reporters have been super busy this year!"

"The real lesser twin got blackballed in the industry," she said breathlessly as the shot flashed to show a still image of Amy in the same costume she wore in 'Riot on Set' as she glared. "The Dead Donkey started a fan war in Spain... literally!" The footage flashed to another still image, this time of Alejandro, with his hair grown back, driving a soccer ball as a large banner with his name on it was in the background.

"Meanwhile, has Duncsune ended for good this time?" Josh asked as the image changed to a panning photo of Duncan and Kitsune looking sadly away from each other.

"The Celebrity Manhunt cameras caught them all," Blaineley said, "even Gwen revealing Heather's three-ounce weight gain!" The photo changed again, this time showing the goth pointing and laughing at Heather, who was glaring back at her. The camera zoomed in on the queen bee's stomach, where there was no visible change.

"Ooh, I can't wait to see those kitties bare their claws on the red carpet!" Josh said, giddily rubbing his hands together. He mimed baring claws of his own and made a noise like a cat's yowl, but all it earned him was an unamused look from his cohost. He put his hands down in shame.

"We've been measuring the popularity of this famous gang," Blaineley continued, "using our amazing, awe-inspiring Celebrity Manhunt Drama Machine!"

With a quick-pan to the side, the camera stopping on the head of a grungy robot. Its 'eyes' were the classic 'sad' and 'happy' masks, and its down-turned mouth was a meter of some kind. A hatch in its chest was wide open, and a man was leaning inside it making repairs... and showing his buttcrack to the world. The repairman dropped something inside, then called out "It's busted!"

The camera immediately cut back to Blaineley's close-up as she quickly recovered from the surprise. "Let's start with one of Total Drama's previous winners. Last season, Noah competed for the million even after winning a hundred K before."

"But thanks to some choice investments," Josh said, "he wound up turning that into a million of his own!"

A few magazine covers of the bookworm were shown, all with him wearing sunglasses and a small smirk. "But with ten money-grubbing immediate family members," Blaineley said over a shot of the bookworm in a courtroom setting, "he was forced to take steps to protect his fortune. He became emancipated and moved into his own apartment."

"We managed to catch up with him after he got settled in!," Josh said with growing excitement.

XXX

The scene cut to a door in a surprisingly grungy looking building, considering the various cracks and missing bits of wallpaper. The stereotypical thumping bass and laughter heard gave the impression of a party. A brown skinned hand knocked on the door and let out a small giggle.

The door opened and revealed a smiling Noah. "It's about time you got-" His smile faltered. "You're not the pizza guy." He scowled. "You're from that manhunt show! I told you already I don't want an interview!" He slammed the door and the feed cut to static.

XXX

"Next up, post-Drama bods!" the hostess announced excitedly. "This year," an image of a brown-skinned man's six-pack abs appeared to her right, "we saw major improvement and fitness fiascoes." The image of the man next to her suddenly bloated up and became very fat, then the picture turned white and took over the screen.

XXX

The footage cut to a close-up of Harold beatboxing, then zoomed out to show the young man was in a recording studio and had a very noticeable belly.

He noticed the camera on him and said "So I had a few burritos. Beatboxing requires an expanded diaphragm, like an opera singer. Check it!" He then began an impressive mixture of beatboxing and opera singing.

xxx

"Harold let himself go," Blaineley said as a still shot of the dweeb's belly moved into position next to her head, "but Sky kept herself in peak condition." The picture switched to Sky with a look of determination, then enlarged to take over the whole screen as the gymnast was shown going through a gymnastics routine. After she finished, she high-fived what looked like an older and taller version of her self and kissed Victor.

"As soon as she got back from Total Drama Action, Victor, Sky, and her sister Luna trained non-stop to get her ready for the 2012 Olympics" Josh narrated. "I've never seen such determination!"

"And speaking of Total Drama Athletes," Blaineley said, "Tyler gained some basic cable fame with his line of workout gear!"

XXX

The scene cut to Tyler on what looked like a stool with two levers sticking out of the sides. "This is extreme!" The boy cheered. "And if you want to be a top athlete like me, then you should buy the Bellybuster 5000!" A price tag of $150 was shown.

"Just go hard for eight hours a day, and you'll have the abs of a Greek god." He lost control of the machine and was launched out of frame with a shout. The price fell to $15.

XXX

Blainely giggled. Nice one, Tyler," she mocked. "Meanwhile, Alejandro went back to his native Spain," Blaineley continued as a picture of then arch-villain smiling at the camera replaced the one of Tyler being thrown from the workout gear.

XXX

"Some people consider soccer a game," Alejandro said as the picture overtook the screen, showing that it was an interview. "But me? I consider it a way of life."

XXX

"That's nice Al," Josh said. "But it wasn't what people wanted to hear from you."

"It seemed while most people were proud of their best soccer player," the banner with the charmer's name on it was shown again, "others wanted his comment on the love square he found himself in." The picture changed to a four-way split showing him and Heather on top, and Kitsune and Duncan on bottom.

XXX

"I have said plenty of times before," Alejandro announced in a press conference. "That I will answer no questions about my time on Total Drama, especially considering my love life."

XXX

"Too bad that answer didn't placate the masses," Blaineley teased.

"It wasn't long before a full on fan war between Alesune shippers and Aleheather shippers broke out," Josh explained. "Literally!" A picture of rabid fans photoshopped onto a American Revolutionary War painting was shown.

"After several people were hospitalized, the football club Alejandro played for cut their ties with him," Blaineley explained next to a picture of a pair of scissors cutting some wires that held the charmer up. "We tracked down the dead donkey to answer a few questions."

XXX

The footage cut to static before coming back to the unedited view through a TV camera. "There he is," the white man holding it whispered before running up to Alejandro with a microphone as he walked by. "Al! Al! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Don't call me Al!" was the charmer's reply, accompanied by a slap that knocked the camera to the ground.

XXX

"After a few dozen rejections from other teams," Josh said back in the studio, "Alejandro had to return to Canada a failure!" The scene flashed to the boy in question, now in an airport and storming past a brown-skinned fan with purple hair and wearing a yellow shirt and teal jeans as she held up a notepad.

"When Alejandro refused to air his dirty laundry," Blaineley said over a picture of some dirty undergarments hanging on a pole outside that quickly receded into the space between the two host's heads, "we went looking for more."

"But when it comes to one Total Drama teen," Josh said, "there was no dirty laundry."

"Or any sign of her!" Blaineley added as the picture next to her became a very blurry shot of Leshawna getting into a limo while carrying a briefcase and coffee. "Leshawna, where are you?"

"This pathetic telephoto shot is all we got," Josh added over a few different close-ups of the same blurry picture. "But don't worry folks, we'll hunt her down on the red carpet tonight."

"Meanwhile," Blaineley continued over a clip of a cameraman skateboarding along a road while filming, "our cameras were hot on the trail of another Total Drama man of mystery."

"Our resident chivalrous gentleman, Victor, went back home for some downtime," Josh said as a picture of the boy in question appeared next on-screen. "Celebrity Manhunt caught up with him."

XXX

Once again, the footage was viewed as the unedited feed through a video camera. "Welcome," Victor greeted from inside a very high-end looking sitting room next to Sky. "There is so much to discuss since I left Total Drama."

"Tell them about the charity," Sky said excitedly.

"There are so many," the boy said. "I would not know where to begin."

"You can begin by ending your pointless attempts to help those lazy ingrates!" Victor's mother said as she entered the shot, then glared at Sky. "And tell that one that we don't have any firewater for her." She noticed the camera and said, "And you need to leave my home before I buy your company and fire you!"

XXX

The scene flashed back to Josh, the picture next to his head now showing Victor's mother yelling at her son. "Good work, people!" the host said. "Next up, Gwen and Heather." Pictures of the two slid on-screen from either side, each girl leaning towards the center of the screen with a hateful expression. They were each seated at a computer in what was presumably their room, with Heather's being bluish-purple in color and Gwen's being more of an reddish-purple. "Their epic hate-on hit the internet where they had a full-on blog war."

The girls' picture moved back to the space between the host as Blaineley asked "Can someone tell me how Heather got her celeb status? That girl gives dirt a bad name."

"If there's a fight between Heather and Gwen," Josh said giddily, putting his hands on his face, "ooh! I'm on team Gwen all the way!"

"Me too!" Blaineley chimed in. "Gwen doesn't wear the team uniform. She's weird and awesome and totally the anti-Heather."

"Let's check out some of that web action from earlier this year," Josh told the camera.

XXX

"Hi everyone," Gwen opened her video, taken by a webcam in her bedroom. "I hope you're all doing fine. Today, I have a special guest," She leaned forward and grabbed the webcam, turning it to the right to reveal, "Sammy!"

"Hi!" The nice twin greeted.

"So today we're just waiting around while our boyfriends get back from touring the province," Gwen said. "So how does it feel to date a millionaire?"

Sammy blushed. "He's always buying me stuff," she confessed. "It's like, I tell him he doesn't have to but he still does. It's as sweet as it is annoying."

"Maybe you should talk to Sky," Gwen suggested. "I think it's been a while since Victor's bought her anything.

"Maybe I should," she said. "So the guys should be home anytime today."

"I know!" Gwen gushed, "This may be the only time you catch me doing this but-" The two girls grabbed each other and squealed.

XXX

The scene cut back to the studio. "Then came Heather's online attack," Blaineley said as a picture of the mean twin appeared on-screen.

XXX

"This is the Loser Gwen Show," Heather, while wearing a Gwen wig, said in a deep voice as she turned on her own webcam, "where I still try to host even though it's clear I don't know what I'm doing."

She held up a hand that had a Sammy puppet on it and said in a higher voice," Can you believe how I'm like, totally gold-digging since my boyfriend won a million dollars?"

"Maybe you should talk to the other gold digger," 'Gwen' suggested. "Now let's gush over our boyfriends even though they can totally do better than us and are probably like, cheating on us right now."

XXX

"So cold!" Josh said as the queen bee's clip cut to static.

"Brrr!" Blaineley added with a shiver. "Gwen couldn't let this go," the hostess added as the goth's picture appeared next to her head, "she had to retaliate!"

XXX

"Don't worry guys," Gwen said. "I saw the video. I just think it's funny how she acts like she's the best thing since sliced bread when she can't even get a date."

"I mean, she crushed on Alejandro for like two seasons and what did he do? He went after the girl he hated the most. She couldn't even get a date for her semi-formal. Every guy in the school turned her down."

She smirked and added. "I almost feel bad for her. Almost."

XXX

"After a few more weeks of this," Josh said as the camera cut back to him, "we invited them to the Celebrity Manhunt studio. A picture of the host and girls seated and facing each other appeared on-screen, and a flash took the scene to the interview.

"You've been through so much together," Josh said softly. A cabin at a summer camp, a private luxury resort. Why not just bury the hatchet? Isn't your friendship more important than some blog-war?"

The girls shared a brief look of consideration, then Heather looked at the host. "Well Josh, it's just that Gwen is a gigantic loser."

"No," Gwen countered, "it's because Heather has a superiority complex that trumps Amy. I mean, she had no reason to attack me but she still did."

In response, Heather pounced on her new rival, and the two began to fight right there in the studio.

"Cat fight! Cat fight!" Josh cheered enthusiastically, watching the girls and rubbing his hands together.

XXX

"Mmm, what is it with guys and cat fights?" Blaineley asked with a playful shake of her head.

"Let's watch it again!" Josh said, eagerly rubbing his hands together. He then mimed baring his claws again, complete with another cat-like yowl.

"A major celebrity is arriving at the red carpet!" Blaineley suddenly announced, her hand to her ear.

\

The scene flashed to the red carpet as seen through the raw feed from a video camera. Photo flashes came from the crowd as a limousine pulled up, and the shot changed to a close-up of its door as the limo came to a screeching halt, causing the door to pop open and the man inside, a familiar face in a baby blue tux, to come ricocheting out.

He fell to the ground with an "Oof!" and the camera panned up to show none other than Chef Hatchet stepping out the other side, wearing a black suit coat and lavender bow tie over his usual attire.

"Dude," the other man said as he got to his feet and rubbed his head in pain, "where'd you learn how to drive? NASCAR?"

"Ahh, suck it up, you big baby," Chef told him with folded arms.

"Fine! You clean up the barf!"

"It's stubble boy Chris McLean!" Blaineley interrupted from off-camera, catching the handsome man's attention.

"Heeey-hehe-hey!" Chris said, adjusting his bow tie and approaching the camera. "Celebrity Manhunt! Josh." He made a shaka sign. "Did you get my video?"

The camera cut back to the two hosts in the studio, their eyes looking around in awkward silence. The shot quick-panned to a tipped over trashcan, and zoomed in on a CD case with Chris' face on it... the case was being gnawed on by a rat. "Yup..." Josh said weakly.

A split-screen formed, with Blaineley on the left and Chris on the right. "Chris," the hostess said while the man in question signed an autograph, "you must be dying to see the Total Drama cast again!"

"...Who?" Chris asked after a moment as he handed the autograph to someone off-camera.

"The teenagers you abused for two seasons on national television?" Blaineley explained in a dry tone.

"Oh right!" Chris said with a sudden grin. "Love their work. Love them! Can we talk about my new show now?" He flashed a double thumbs-up, and Blaineley's eyes briefly widened.

"We're going to take a break," she said, Chris' half of the split screen sliding away. "But don't go away! Next, we have the rags to riches to rags of the 'Drama Brothers', the Total Drama band that rocketed up and down the charts with their hit, 'When I Cry'."

"Here's a clip from last year's chart-topping music video," Josh added.

XXX

The clip began with a spotlight turning on over a stage, illuminating Malcolm, DJ, and Trent as they stood with their hands covering their eyes.

They all struck poses and got out of the the way as Harold, back to his regular weight, popped up and into the shot, beatboxing.

"When I cry," they sang, "my eye's wet. And I swear, it wasn't guy sweat."

XXX

The scene cut back to the feed of Chris McLean on the red carpet, his hand to his ear as he spoke. "Going to commercial? I got this." He shot a finger pistol, then turned to the camera and spread his arms. "Will Heather and Gwen's claws come out? Will Sky get tired of putting up with Victor's mother? And who is Alejandro crushing on?" He put his hands on his head and adopted an expression of awe and disbelief. "So many questions! Find out the answers when Celebrity Manhunt: Total Drama Red Carpet Reunion Special returns! Right after this!" He pointed straight at the camera, then put his hands on his hips and smugly said "Now that's how you do it."

"Mmm," a clearly annoyed and unimpressed Blaineley grunted. "Thanks."

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed with a shot of a limousine speeding towards the camera until the focus was entirely on its front license plate. The letters 'CM' were stamped on the plate with a metallic clang, and the shot panned up to a furry arm holding a camera out the driver's side window. The camera flashed, transitioning the scene to the studio.

"It's Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama Red Carpet Reunion Special!" Blaineley said, ignoring a stage light that fell behind her and Josh while the male host quickly diverted his eyes to it.

"Now let's look at what happens when the lovin' stops," Josh said as a picture of Duncan and Kitsune kissing slid into view next to his head then enlarged to take over the screen. "On Total!" The right half of the picture was replaced with half a heart against a yellow background. "Drama!" The left side turned into the other half of the heart, and the whole thing began to beat. "Break-ups!" The heart shattered like glass as a video clip began.

"It all started out so well," Josh narrated as Duncan and Kitsune were shown sitting on a couch in a grungy apartment. A murky sploosh was hear and the amateur camera panned over to show an irate Noah that was half covered in red paint as the couple was heard laughing. "Duncan was able to make her laugh," Josh said before the shot cut back to the couple as she nudged him and got him to apologize, "while Kitsune helped keep him grounded."

"Duncsune was the Total Drama power couple that defied the odds and took a chance on love," Blaineley said back in the studio.

"But tensions began to rise when Duncan tried a little too hard to keep from getting dumped again," Josh continued.

"Celebrity Manhunt got these juicy shots from a trendy restaurant that summer," Blainely said as a series of photographs were shown on the screen, starting with the couple seated at a table and looking uncomfortable. The next showed Duncan handing her a bouquet of flowers and her looking utterly unamused, and the third showed her giving what looked like an ultimatum. Fourth the punk angrily walking away from the table, and the last showed the goofball alone as she stared at the empty chair with unshed tears.

"And then it was Splitsville," Josh finished as the last photo, Kitsune angrily walking away, was shown.

"Both of these former lovebirds dropped out of the public eye for a while," Blainely said, "until we managed to get our hands on footage of Kitsune visiting her birth mother; Boyfriend Strangler Lola Gamble-Morton."

XXX

The footage of Kitsune visiting a shorter blonde woman that looked a fair bit like her was shown. "And I heard about your break-up with that Duncan fellow," the woman said sweetly.

"Uh-huh," Kitsune said, clearly not wanting to be there.

"I always told you not to throw yourself into relationships like that," she admonished, not noticing the annoyed look on the goofball's face. "You should learn to listen to your mother."

"I do," Kitsune replied bitterly. "I just don't listen to you."

The woman scowled. "Faith I-"

"My name is Kitsune," she said darkly. "Look, the only reason I'm here is because Dad thinks I need a relationship with you. But you ruined my life from the day I was born. So just hurry up and do something horrible so he sees that I gain nothing from talking to you!" She stood up and stormed off.

XXX

"And not long after that," Josh said next to a picture of Duncan behind bars, "Duncan was caught tagging a storefront and was sent back to juvie for two months!" We caught an exclusive interview with him!"

XXX

"Yeah it blows being back here again," Duncan said as the next video started. He was seated behind a glass window in an orange jumpsuit, and was speaking through a telephone. "But it beats bein' around Foxy. I'm puttin' myself out there for her and she can't appreciate me?"

He tapped his chin in thought. "It helps that that creepy whistlin' kid's not here anymore."

His interview was interrupted by an angry shout from off camera that made the punk grimace in fear and duck under the table. "When I get my hands on you Duncan, you're dead meat!"

"...on a completely unrelated note," he said while cautiously raising back into his chair, "is there any chance you'd post my bail?"

XXX

"Looks like those two really are miserable without each other!" Josh declared with a grin.

"Come on!" Blaineley said, snapping her fingers. "Kitsune, dig deep and use that heart of yours! Duncan, realize what you had, and take her back! We know you two can do what it takes to make things work!"

"We're all rooting for you," Josh added with a chuckle before turning to face the camera more directly.. "Now let's check in with another star couple."

"Mike and Zoey," his cohost said as a picture of the two cuddling on a park bench appeared next to her. "The first two kicked off of Total Drama Action. You just couldn't open a fanzine this year without seeing a picture of Zoey and Mike," Blaineley added as a picture of several magazine covers depicting the couple slid into the space next to her. "or as we call them, Zoke! Sucking face..." A close-up of one of the covers was shown, depicting the couple making out.

"With Zoey's popularity shooting higher than Mike's," a photograph was shown of the indie chick signing an attractive white man's arm while Mike frowned in annoyance, "he had to put up with a lot of Zoey's stalkers." A close up of the surfer's face was shown, followed by a shot of the indie chick signing another attractive white man's muscles, and a close-up of the resulting angry scowl on Mike's face.

"When Zoey let her guard down," Josh said over a clip of the couple standing together in an airport, the indie chick's eyes following a passing redheaded man and causing Mike to gasp when she noticed, "she was in for a serious talking to." The clip skipped ahead to Mike, as Chester, waggling a finger at Zoey, then to a close-up of the girl's guilty face.

"But luckily for Zoke," Josh said back in the studio, "they patched it all up."

XXX

The couple were shown at what looked like a press conference, standing at a podium with a spotlight on them. "I just wanna apologize for letting the fame go to my head," Zoey told the crowd before turning to her boyfriend. "I should've been more considerate of Mike's feelings," she told the audience while shyly looking away from him

Mike grabbed her by the chin and said, "And I should've just told you how I felt instead of bottling everything up. I'm sorry Zoey."

"I'm sorry too Mike."

They promptly began to make out.

XXX

"There's no bigger buzz kill than a peaceful resolution when it comes to celebs," Blaineley explained as the picture next to her head changed from Zoke making out to a the park bench photo from earlier.

"Are you kidding me?" Josh asked, putting his hands on the desk and leaning forward. "They are still fascinating. They ate salads!" A photo of the couple lovingly feeding each other at a restaurant was shown. "They tried on socks!" The lovers were shown kissing while putting on socks. "They ironed!" A third photo showed the couple doing nothing more than ironing clothes. "I'm excited!" Josh said, pointing his thumbs at himself.

"Why?" Blaineley asked incredulously. "They were a total non-entity during season two. And ironing? You have to earn gossip worthiness," she told her cohost. "Otherwise, I'mma changin' the channel," she told the camera with a sassy gesture. "Let's get back to some real celebrities, The Drama Brothers!"

"The Total Drama boy band that rule the music world!" Josh added as an album cover depicting the four members spun onto the screen.

XXX

A video began to play, showing Malcolm and Trent stepping out of a limousine and getting greeted by a crowd of paparazzi. "I only got into music because it's almost impossible to get hurt doing it," Malcolm told the camera, "I never thought I'd hit it big!"

"It's all about touching people on an emotional level," Trent added. "You know what I mean?" He closed the limo door... unintentionally slamming Malcolm's hand into it.

XXX

The shot cut to DJ in a recording studio playing a few slow chords on an acoustic guitar. "To be honest, I wasn't too sure about joinin' the band at first," he admitted to the camera. "But I admit it's been fun."

XXX

Back in the Celebrity Manhunt studio, Blaineley sighed dreamily. "I am so crushing on Trent," she told the camera. "He has enough flavor for the whole band!"

"Just as their album shot to the top of the charts," Josh said as a picture of the four band members walking across a certain British crosswalk was shown, "the trappings of fame shot straight to their heads." Another, larger picture of the four was shown, depicting DJ staring in shock as the his bandmates dived into a suburban swimming pool naked. The same brown skinned girl from earlier was seen watching from behind a fence.

"All four were sentenced to community service for that stunt," Blainely said. "But once that was done, they decided on holding auditions for a fifth member. It would only lead to disaster."

"Turns out most of their Total Drama castmates just weren't interested," Josh said. "And the ones that were just weren't up to their standards."

"Sammy showed a lot of enthusiasm," Josh said as a photo of the nice twin happily trying to play a guitar appeared on-screen, "but without the talent to back it up, even her boyfriend was forced to turn her down." Another photo was shown, this one depicting the brickhouse breaking the news to a understanding Sammy. "Ouch!"

"Turns out she wasn't expecting to make it anyway," Blaineley commented. "Next up was Staci, and she fared even worse," a picture of the chatterbox holding an accordian was shown, followed by a picture of the four band members looking at each other warily, then a third picture showing Staci getting kicked out of a building. "Given the boot before she even started! Sorry girl, but you're gonna have to try way harder than that to get a popularity boost."

"Which brings us to the third person who auditioned that day," Josh continued, "none other than Sugar Silo. You'll have to see it to believe it."

XXX

The video began with the camera focused on the members of the Drama Brothers as they sat at a table, the pageant queen standing in front of them with a wide smile on her face.

"All right," Trent sighed, "what have you got for us, Sugar?"

"Why, none other than your new lead singer!" Sugar said excitedly.

"Uh, Sugar?" Malcolm interrupted with a short and confused laugh. "we don't have a lead singer."

Sugar waved her hand dismissively. "Pfft, you ain't heard anyone sing good enough before Sugar Silo, and I'll prove it." She cleared her throat, then began to sing. "When I cryyyyyyy, my eye's wet! And I sweeeeeeeaaaar it wasn't guuy sweeat!" Her cover of the band's hit song was incredibly off key, and the final note was high enough that cause everyone in earshot to wince, and the camera lens filming the audition to crack slightly.

A loud buzzer courtesy of Harold cut her off, and the four boys stood up. "I think that's enough, Sugar," DJ said forcefully.

"Yeah," Malcolm added. "After that, there's no way we'd ever let you work with us." Trent nodded his agreement.

Sugar looked taken aback for a moment, then scowled. "Well fine then!" she told them. "I can launch my music career without you! In fact, I'll do so well by myself, that everyone'll forget you even exist!" The boys didn't respond to her, and she turned and walked off with a huff of contempt. After she left, they burst into raucous laughter.

XXX

"Well, Sugar was right that she didn't need them to launch her music career," Blaineley commented. "Too bad for her the novelty of her act wore off fast in the music world, and it was only her trying out for the Drama Brothers that got her the few fans she did have."

The camera zoomed out to show both hosts as a split-screen picture appeared between them, depicting the Drama Brothers on the left and Sugar Silo on the right, the two sides staring each other down. "The public feud that resulted was both short and hilarious," Josh added, "but it ended up costing Sugar Silo everything when she released an album on the same day as the Drama Brothers. Celebrity Manhunt was there to watch it all go down."

Another clip had already begun, showing both Sugar Silo and the Drama Brothers sitting at tables in what looked like a music store. A stack of CDs rested on each table, and promotional signs for both sides were everywhere.

While Sugar Silo's side was deserted, the Drama Brother's weren't able to sign their CD's fast enough to keep the line moving at a decent pace.

"I told you we should've gotten stamps with our signatures on it instead of signing them all by hand," Malcolm told the group.

"Yeah," Trent agreed. "This was a bad call."

The camera cut to Sugar's extremely annoyed face.

XXX

"After her freakout from that," Josh said as a picture of Sugar destroying the four boys' promotional standees was shown next to him, "it wasn't long before Sugar Silo was sent back to the farm, while the Drama Brothers became hotter than ever."

"Meanwhile, Amy went stateside to compete in Hollywood," Blainely said as a picture of the girl's costume from 'Riot on Set' was shown, "where her Total Drama fame gave her an edge in her auditions and earned her a stack of movie deals." She was shown in several posters reminiscent of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Kill Bill, King Kong, and The Sound of Music. "Unfortunately for her, Sammy also tried her hand at acting and the two were cast as co-leads in a family comedy." A picture of the two twins sitting next to each other in a poster similar to 'The Parent Trap' was shown.

"Amy went ballistic when she found out," Blainely explained, "and Celebrity Manhunt was there."

XXX

Neither of the twins were seen in the clip, but the constant shaking of the camera and the sound of their arguing told the story well enough.

XXX

"Attacking you own sister?" Josh teased. "Not the best career move Amy. She lost all her deals and Sammy took over her remaining projects."

"Post-Total Drama, Shawn and Staci hit the celebrity reality TV circuit," she said, a picture of the two sliding into view beside her. "You've seen them on shows like 'Celebrity Stunt Driving'," she motioned to the picture as it enlarged and changed to a picture of a reddish car driving off a cliff, "'Doctor for a Day'," the next picture showed the two in surgical scrubs, Shawn holding a scalpel and Staci ready with a defibrillator, "'So You Think You Can Eat That?'," the pair was shown standing in a kitchen over some a hunk of meat with a skunk's tail sticking out of it, the conspiracy theorist hesitantly reaching for it while the chatterbox looked ready to vomit, "and 'Extreme Chess: Pillar Edition'." The final picture at first showed the pair playing a timed game of chess outdoors, before it zoomed out to show them standing on a few planks set up on two tall rock pillars.

"We caught up with these...'Rea-lebrities'," Blaineley frowned and rolled her eyes, "on the set of 'Sharp Things Flying at Your Head'!"

XXX

Shawn and Staci were running on treadmills as the clip began, dodging various sharp-ish objects thrown at them, including a wheelbarrow and a large umbrella.

"All my talents went to waste on Total Drama," Staci told the camera as it zoomed in on her, "since I was voted out so soon, yah. But on these other shows," she ducked under a chainsaw, "I can really show off my family's skills." She yelped and dodged what looked like a small missile.

"Uhh, I'm just doing it for the money," Shawn said as the camera moved to him and he easily dodged a trashcan. "After losing Total Drama twice, I still need all the money I can get to fund my bunker!"

The camera zoomed out to show both of them, and caught Staci finally getting beaned in the head by a cinderblock. She was knocked off her treadmill, and Shawn raised his arms in victory. "Oh yeah!" he cheered before the video ended.

XXX

"Okay, worst career moves," Josh said, pointing a finger at his cohost. "Go!"

"I'm gonna say...," Blaineley said as she began to think. "Shawn's 'Date a Lonley Lady' appearance," she answered as a photo of Shawn sadly walking away from an attractive and tall black woman. "Shawn, you're the quirky loner. There's no need to change that."

"My vote goes to Staci," Josh said as a close-up of the girl in question appeared next to him, "for putting on that fake baby bump." The photo zoomed out, showing Staci trying to stuff a basketball up her jacket. "Yet another in a long line of desperate fame grabs," the host said with a disappointed shake of the head.

Blaineley laughed lightly with her hands on her hips. "Some people will do anything for fame," she said. "But it seems like others will do anything to avoid it."

XXX

The clip this time showed the camera holder rushing up to Scarlett as the brainiac walked down the sidewalk. A few more arms and microphones and pens could be seen at the edges of the screen, and the sound of heavy footsteps suggested that it was just about a mob of people approaching her.

"Scarlett!" one girl said.

"What?!" the girl answered with a harsh glare. "Don't you people have anything better to do than bother me while I'm running errands?"

"Can you give any comment on the rumors of your crush on Victor?" the same girl asked.

"Can you sign this encyclopedia?" a guy asked, holding up a large book from the left side.

"Can you give us any inside info on your brother's band?" another girl asked.

"No!" Scarlett told them as her eyes flashed red. She took a deep breath, looked to the side, and gasped in an exaggerated fashion. "Oh my goodness, is that Alejandro making out with Kitsune over there?!" she declared, pointing off to the right. The mob that was hounding him immediately ran in that direction, but quickly realized there was nobody there. The camera turned around, and Scarlett was nowhere to be seen.

XXX

"But if there's one rule we've discovered at Celebrity Manhunt," Josh said, "it's the harder you run, the faster they chase."

"Soon a bunch of competing websites sprang up," Blaineley said as the screen was taken over by a website showcasing a number of pictures of Scarlett avoiding the camera, "each trying to keep the elusive Scarlett on camera the longest, and chronicling her attempts at avoiding them."

"We tracked down one webmaster for this live interview," Josh continued as a the silhouette of the brown-skinned girl slid into position next to him. "She asked that her identity not be revealed to protect her from the surprisingly intimidating Scarlett." Josh waved his hand, and the webmaster's silhouette was replace by a photo of the brainiac glaring at the camera.

"So," Blaineley said, "you know everything about everybody from the cast?"

The camera cut to the webmaster, sitting on a chair in total shadow. "Duh," she said in an obviously modified voice, "I'm the one that leaked the story about Noah's false teeth."

"Would you call yourself a gossip-crazed Scarlett fan?" Blaineley asked off-camera.

"It's not just Scarlett," the anonymous young woman answered, "I have websites for everyone from Total Drama."

"Wow," Blaineley said as the shot cut back to the studio, "I'm in the presence of gossip royalty."

"That's why it's important to keep my identity a total secret," the girl said before the lights suddenly turned on, revealing her to the world. She looked at the camera, gasped, and tried to cover her face, but her efforts were made in vain when someone else walked onto the interview set.

"Hey Loser!" Amy called with a scowl. "I've got some more dirt on that fox loving freak."

Sierra sighed and hung her head. "For the last time," she hissed at the mean twin, looking up at the other girl with a glare, "My name is Sierra! And not only that," she waved her hands at the camera, "thanks to you I just lost my anonymity!"

"Like I care about that," Amy said with a dismissive hand wave.

"Hold on," Blaineley interrupted with an amused smile on her face, "Amy, have you been feeding Sierra info about your Total Drama castmates?"

"Duh," the younger blonde said brattily. "Why should they be well liked when my reputation's tanked thanks to Samey?"

"Your friends aren't gonna be happy about that on the red carpet!" Blaineley told her.

"Like I care what they think," Amy scoffed.

"Speaking of which, Amy," Blaineley spoke up, "shouldn't you be on your way to the Gemmie Awards?"

"Right, I have to get my award for carrying those losers for two seasons," she said in realization before walking away.

The scene suddenly cut to a camera feed outside as a few limousines sped past.

"The limos are coming!" Josh announced back in the studio, putting his hands on the sides of his head and yelling "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!"

"LIMOS!" the two host cheered together as they stood up in their seats.

"Who's up for a celebrity grudge fest?" Blaineley asked as the red carpet was shown again, along with the cheering crowd and arriving limos. "Join Josh, me," back in the studio she reached off camera and pulled Sierra into view, "and hard-core fan Sierra on the crimson carpet."

"Really?" The Obsessive Uber-Fan asked in disbelief. "I get to be Celebrity Manhunt's red carpet interview diva?!" She enveloped Blaineley in a crushing hug. "That's so cool!" She let the host go, and with an excited cry of "Yahtzee!" she ran off.

"Huh," Josh wondered aloud as he looked around, "where's Amy?"

\

The scene immediately cut to Amy, who was already on the red carpet with a camera on her. "This," she said as she looked around, "is where I should have been before. Instead, thanks to Samy making me look bad, this is my first time. And for some crappy daytime TV award."

"Uh, thanks, Amy," Josh said with a forced smile as the camera cut back to him and his cohost. "We'll be right back." As an offhand to Blaineley, he added "Hopefully with some cat fights," he turned to face the camera again as the shot pulled back and he spread his arms, "after these messages!"

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode faded back in to the Celebrity Manhunt studio, the camera zooming in on the hosts just as a white rat scampered across the stage, noticed only by Josh.

"Welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama Red Carpet Reunion Special!" Blaineley greeted.

"This is it, people!" Josh added as the live red carpet feed appeared next to him and enlarged to take over the screen where Sierra was clearly visible standing on the carpet. "Months of Total Drama cast infighting, backstabbing, and break-ups are about to pay off, right here!" Another limousine pulled up and opened its rear driver's side door, just before a cyclist slammed into it. "As our reality stars strut their stuff on the Gemmie Awards red carpet."

"Thanks, Josh," Sierra said as the feed switched to her, a microphone already in her hand. "Sierra here! I've got the carpet totally covered!" She waved her hand, then heard footsteps off to the side. "Oh em gee," she said as the camera panned down the carpet and landed on Sugar in her full singing outfit, "it's craptry star Sugar, aka Sugar Silo!" As the gossip-monger spoke, Sugar blew kisses to the crowd and paparazzi.

"You suck!" somebody in the crowd yelled, throwing what looked like a book with her face on the cover at the girl. It hit her in the head and she stumbled backwards, then glared and bent down to pick the book up.

"Ooo~oooh," Sierra squealed, "looks like we have some Sugar Silo fans in the audience today!"

"With the release of her juicy tell all book about the flavor boys," Blaineley said back in the studio as a close-up of the book appeared on-screen, "expect fireworks when her long-time music rivals show up."

"And here's reality's most famous couple," Sierra said as another limousine pulled up, "Sky and Victor!" The gentleman and athlete got out of their limo and waved to the audience as their ride sped off. They were smiling as Sierra ran up to them. "Hey Skytor!"

"You must be the person who is interviewing us," Victor guessed.

"Yep," the super-fan said brightly. "I'm Sierra."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Sierra," Victor said with a bow. "How are you this evening?"

Sierra giggled and blushed. "Thanks, I'm really happy to be here with Celebrity Manhunt. But enough about me, how are you feeling on your first red carpet appearance?"

"It is truly no different from the 'charity' dinners Mother used to drag me to," he answered.

"I'm really excited," Sky gushed. "I know they're not all here for me, but it feels like they are."

The couple walked off, and another limo pulled up in front of the super-fan. Alejandro stepped out of it with a smirk. "Fashionably late," he said happily before Sierra ran up to him.

"Uhh...Alejandro!" she asked the charmer. "How does it feel to have it all, then lose it?"

"Eso es qué es," he said with a shrug.

"Oh..." Sierra said blankly.

"Ahem," Blaineley interrupted as the scene cut back to the studio, annoyance in her every gesture. "We're here for the gossip!" she reminded the girl.

"Okay then," Sierra said. "Alejandro, level with me. Who from Total Drama can't you stand?" The charmer raised an eyebrow. "Like, who do you just hate?"

"My policy on not answering questions about the show applies in Canada also," he replied diplomatically before walking away.

The scene receded into the space next to Blaineley again. "Uhhn," the hostess grunted, "is that Drama Machine working yet?" The camera moved over to the broken robot, showing the repairman sitting next to it drinking a cup of coffee. He glared back at the hosts and belched.

Josh briefly glared back, then smiled as the red carpet feed slid into position next to him and an excited jingle played. "The Duncsune has arrived! Fresh from their break-up," he began to say as the pair stepped out of separate limos, briefly glanced at each other, then looked away. "Dinner is served."

"Kitsune! Duncan!" Sierra called out as she met up with the two. They were waving to the crowd and posing for the paparazzi, and actively trying to avoid each other's eyes.

"Hey," the two said at once.

"This is the second time you've had a messy and public break-up," Sierra asked. "Is there any hope for you two?"

The former couple glanced at each other, then Duncan scoffed and walked off. Kitsune stared sadly at his retreating form and said "I hope so..." before leaving to join the others.

The interview diva paused awkwardly for a moment, then lit up when she noticed someone else arriving. "Ohh, I think I see Noah!" The camera cut to the bookworm in his usual clothes, stepping out of a limousine and putting on a pair of sunglasses. "Here comes our entrepreneur now."

"Sup," Noah said suavely after posing a few times for the cameras.

"So I heard about the messy court battle with your family," Sierra said with a frown. "Are you still talking to any of them?"

He shrugged. "Not really," he said. "They didn't take kindly to the 'they can't quit their jobs of they want a share of my money' rule.

"I see," Sierra said sadly. "Anyway, how's the new place?" she asked next with a smile. "I hear it's like the best place to party in Toronto!"

"Yeah that was mostly Foxtrot," Noah explained. "But I don't mind, the local pizza place gives us a discount as long as we let the owner say we're friends."

"Wow," Sierra said, "That sounds like a good deal."

The scene cut back to Blaineley. "You can talk about it later," she told Sierra with mild disinterest. "Right now, let's focus on the real gossip. And speaking of!" she suddenly perked up as the live feed slid in next to her again. "The rest of the Total Drama gang are arriving on the red carpet!"

The red carpet feed once more took over as several other castmates were shown arriving one after the other; Staci, Shawn, Zoey, Mike, Heather,Tyler, Gwen, and Sammy were now on the red carpet alongside Noah, and most of them were waving happily at the cheering crowd.

"I call dibs on the front row seat!" Heather called out suddenly, dashing away from the pack.

"I should get it!" Staci countered, running after her. "My great-great-grandma Sarah invented them."

"Really not liking this big crowd of zombie bait," Shawn said nervously before he left as well. Most of the others followed too, leaving only Tyler to linger behind.

"Front row is where I go," he before he too ran off, and the camera quickly zoomed in off his feet as he tripped on a bump in the red carpet. He crashed into Noah, and Sierra winced as they crashed into the others as well.

"Great job, Tyler," Heather spat from the pile of Total Drama castmates.

"Darn it!" the jock swore before Amy, who had gotten caught in the despite arriving a fair time before the others, smacked him in the back of the head. The castmates groaned, and Sierra gave a blank look at the camera.

The scene receded into the space next to Josh, now laughing too much to say anything. The camera panned to Blaineley, who excitedly announced "Sierra! Another limo has just pulled up!"

The live feed resumed as Leshawna stepped out onto the red carpet with a cell phone to her ear. "Lactose-free, non-fat, half-caff, cocoa sprinkles..." she said in a rather annoyed tone as she walked up the red carpet without a glance sideways.

Sierra gave the camera an excited grin. "It's Lady Mystery herself, Leshawna! So tell me," the super-fan said as the sista approached, "what've you been up to-"

Leshawna walked past without a single acknowledgment. "But...," Sierra stammered before hanging her head and sighing. "Looks like Leshawna's gotten a super-important job in the 'industry'," Sierra told the camera. "Nothing says power like a phone and a latte."

"Sierra!" Blaineley said back in the studio, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "You know what would be better than nothing? Something!"

"Oh," Sierra said excitedly, "well, I have the Drama Brothers here." She made an animated hand motion at the four boys that were now standing by her. Scarlett stood next to her twin.

Back in the studio, Blaineley sighed in exasperation. "Let me guess. They're about to announce another tour that coincides with the release of their next album."

The camera zoomed in on Harold. "Pretty much" he admitted.

"How'd you know?" Malcolm asked in genuine curiosity.

The Gemmies are about to start," Sierra said as the camera cut back to her, "and I'm going to follow them inside!" She pointed at herself with her thumb, then turned to head up the red carpet.

\

The scene skipped ahead to the entire Total Drama cast that had arrived walking up the red carpet towards the building's entrance. The camera panned ahead of them, showing none other than Chef Hatchet leaning against the doorway in his tux. "Famous people only!" he told them, holding out a hand to stop the group.

"Seriously?" Alejandro asked at the head of the group as the those around him gasped and made similar sounds of confusion.

"And as of about five seconds ago," Chef added with a look at his wristwatch, "that excludes you," he pointed at the teens.

"Who died and made you doorman?" Gwen asked in annoyance.

"I did!" Chris McLean said as he walked out.

"Oh man, you'd better not be a zombie!" Shawn said anxiously.

"Leshawna! Coffee!" the host demanded. With an eye-roll the girl walked forward with a paper cup and a bag in her hands. She handed over the cup, and Chris asked "Is that my muffin?"

"Wait a minute," Scarlett said with a sadistic grin, "you're Chris' assistant?"

"Well after someone," Leshawna defended with a glare toward the redhead," trashed my rep, it was the only job I could get."

"You trashed Leshawna?" Malcolm asked.

"No one messed with my brother," Scarlett said simply.

"Good," Sierra said with a sneer at the sista. "She doesn't deserve Harold anyway."

"I don't think you wanna go there," Leshawna sneered back.

The amateur reporter and former host's assistant were distracted by the sound of squealing tires, and the camera cut to a frontal view of a limousine pulling up. "Bros!" Chris greeted with a smile as several car doors were heard slamming. The Total Drama cast shot worried looks behind them.

The group that was walking up the red carpet now was a motley assortment of mostly familiar faces; a scruffy white guy that looked like he might've been a TDA crew member was at the front of the pack. He was followed by Sasquatchanakwa, the psycho killer with the chainsaw and a hook, a grizzly bear, and a small parka-wearing Inuit man pushing himself along on a toboggan.

"Come on in, my peeps!" Chris greeted as the five moved past him and into the award building.

"How are they famous?" Gwen asked.

"They're the stars of my new reality show," Chris explained, "Total! Drama! Dirtbags!"

"Huh?" the cast asked.

"A bunch of jerks live in a mansion and try to backstab each other and just be nasty in general," Leshawna explained in a dry tone.

"I'm nasty!" Heather exclaimed. "It should be me!"

"These guys are up-and-coming," Chris explained. "Not down-and-going, i.e., you losers."

"Move it!" an unfamiliar voice said from beyond the cast. They murmured in confusion, and the voice muttered "Idiots." Someone new pushed through the cast, literally. He was a white teenager, fairly short and with messy brown hair. He wore a blue t-shirt with a red X over a cartoon white t-shirt emblazoned on it and blue skinny jeans.

As he made his way to the front of the cast, he purposefully knocked down Malcolm and Harold. Scarlett glared at the boy and Sierra and Leshawna yelled, "Harold?!" in concern.

"Matthew, buddy!" Chris greeted. "My next big star!" He held up a hand for a high-five, but The Hipster just walked into the building and ignored him. The former host glared at the boy's retreating form, then took a sip of his coffee. He immediately spit it into Leshawna's face. "Euugh, this latte's cold!" he yelled in disgust. "You're fired!"

"Well guys," he told the rest of the cast with a smile, "I'd say later, but, uh, there isn't gonna be a later! Sooo...," he backed up into the open door, then slammed it in their faces.

Everyone gasped. The group was shown from behind, now the only people left outside the building. The searchlights that flanked the entrance shut off, and crickets chirped as a tumbleweed rolled down the empty street. The cricket was shown in close-up, and it was promptly stomped on by Duncan.

"Aww, n-now why'd you go and do that for, man?" DJ asked in outrage.

"Hey guys," Sierra spoke up, "we have to find a way inside!"

"How," Kitsune asked in disbelief, "by climbing in through an air vent on the roof like some kind of spy movie?"

"Hey guys!" Shawn announced, looking up at a monitor above the store. "I think it's starting!"

The shot focused in on the monitor as it played a theme reminiscent of the Gilded Chris Ceremony from Total Drama Action, and a curtain raised on a podium bearing a diamond sigil.

"Perhaps if we win Best Reality Ensemble," Victor suggested, "we will be famous again!"

\

The footage faded forward, showing most of the Total Drama cast, and Sierra, seated on the red carpet watching the awards. Only Sierra and Kitsune were still standing. "Playing a talking car was a real challenge," a deep male voice said, "thank you." The audience at the Gemmies applauded.

"Oh yah, he was really great in that show," Staci commented. "Y'know, my uncle Steve was totally the one who did all the car's stunts." Nobody gave a sign of responding.

\

Another fade forward, and now nearly everyone was laying tired in a heap on the red carpet. Sierra and Staci were still standing and watching enthusiastically.

"Next up," the voice of Matthew came through the monitor, "Best Reality Ensemble."

"This is it, amigos!" Alejandro said as he stood back up.

"Envelope," Matthew demanded as a drumroll began, and the others stood up as well. Shawn and Sugar; DJ, Malcolm, Trent, and Harold; Mike and Zoey; Duncan and Kitsune with Heather behind them. "And the winner is..." Matthew paused, and was shown starting to open the envelope.

The cast gasped expectantly, but Matthew was having extended difficulty opening the results. "How hard is it to open an envelope?!" Alejandro exclaimed in disbelief.

Matthew finally managed to open it, but ripped it in half in the process. He let out a growl of rage, took a deep breath, and declared "Golden Oldies in Their Undies!" The audience applauded, and the theme tune played again as the Total Drama cast and Sierra looked on blankly.

"Oh," the super-fan finally said with a smile, "well, good for them!"

"Not for us!" Duncan retorted. "We just lost to a bunch of geezers!"

"Well I for one, won't miss the trappings of fame," Scarlett said with a sniff.

"Umm, hello?" Amy shot at her. "We normal people actually want to be famous."

"Man, 'Oldies in Their Undies' was like the only show me and Staci weren't nominated for," Shawn said in annoyance.

"Uhh, guys?" Malcolm spoke up, pointing back up at the monitor.

"And the Gemmie for Best Reality Show Host goes to," a man announced on-screen, "once again, Chris McLean!" The theme song played and the audience clapped, and the Total Drama cast groaned and griped in frustration.

"Wow, hey, uh, thanks, again" Chris could be heard laughing as the castmates leaned forward in anger. "Uh, but I couldn't have done it without a great bunch of people from Total Drama Action."

"Oooh!" Sierra said, leaning forward in excitement as the scowls faded from the cast's faces.

"The interns," he began to list as a victorious song began to play and Trent and DJ leaned towards the camera expectantly, "uh, the caterers," Kitsune and Shawn leaned forward next, "the camera crew," Victor and Sky followed, "and the real stars of the show," Alejandro, Duncan, Noah and even Scarlett leaned forward with grins on their faces, "my stylists!"

Everyone's faces turned back to scowls.

"What about the girl who busted her hump the past year catering to yo' spoiled behind?!" Leshawna yelled at the screen.

Her frustration brought a smile to Sierra and Scarlett's faces.

"Tomorrow," Chris continued on-screen, "I'll introduce the cast of my new reality series, Total Drama Dirtbags!" A radical guitar riff played, and the host finished in a sly voice. "On the Orpah Show..." Nobody looked happy at the announcement, not even Sierra.

"I guess we're not famous anymore," Mike said sadly.

"At least I'll be able to survive on the streets," Duncan said.

"And I already have been accepted to several prominent universities," Scarlett commented.

"I still have some money left from my settlement," Kitsune said in an attempt to cheer herself up. "Maybe I can do something with that."

"I'll get you in touch with my money guy," Noah told her.

"I can't go back to my old life!" Heather panicked. "If I'm not famous, I'm not popular!" She started shivering. "Soooo coooold."

And with a murmur of disappointment and frustration, the cast of Total Drama began to disperse from the red carpet. Only Sierra stayed behind, the only person there who wasn't associated with the show.

"What's the matter with you?" Sierra declared. "No one deserves to be more famous us than you guys! You can't just give up! Do you have any idea how many millions of fans there are out there?" Her words got Noah, Malcolm, and Victor to stop in their tracks. "We've been watching, blogging, recording you guys since the first episode!"

"There are fan sites for each and every one of you!" Sierra continued. "We know everything about you! And we're rooting for you!" DJ and Sammy were shown looking skeptical for a moment before sharing a small smile. "They know your eating habits," Duncan was looking suddenly uncomfortable, "your hopes, your fears, your dental records!" Sierra said the last two words with an unexpected ferocity that widened a few eyes.

"Stalker," Heather muttered under her breath.

"We can't let us down now!" Sierra said. "What do you say?"

"And what exactly do you expect us to do?" Noah asked sarcastically.

"I say," the interview diva said as the castmates walked back towards her, "beat those dirtbags to Orpah's studio, hijack the interview, and voila! You're all famous again!"

"But she's in New York," said Harold. "How are we supposed to get there by tomorrow afternoon?"

"I could call for transportation," Victor said, "but it may take a while. The jet is being serviced and the helicopter only seats four at a time."

"You have a jet and a helicopter?" Heather asked.

"Good catch," Kitsune whispered to Sky, who giggled and nodded.

A sudden honk got the group's attention, as did a call of "Hey guys!" The cast and the camera turned and saw a tour bus plastered with the faces of the Drama Brothers on the side idling at the end of the red carpet, the brickhouse hanging out the door and helping his girlfriend up. "So are you gonna get on the bus or not?"

Everyone left on the carpet cheered, and the shot cut back to the bus as Kitsune somehow had already made it to the driver's seat. "I call driver!" She called, earning confused responses from her castmates.

"You're gonna be famous again!" Sierra announced, and they cheered again.

"Right after this," she added with a smile at the camera, still holding her Celebrity Manhunt microphone. A few mixed cheers and groans came from off-camera.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The tail end of Celebrity Manhunt's intro sequence played, consisting of nothing more than the magnifying glass appearing on the yellow background, and a star and footprints appearing in its lens.

"Breaking gossip news, everyone!" Josh announced excitedly, a sheet of paper in his hand.

"This," Blaineley added before a different animated sequence took over the screen, "is Total Drama Comeback!" One by one, the letters T, D, and C, appeared, each looking as though it had sustained injuries. The T had a crutch, which knocked over along with the letter when the C slid into position.

The scene cut to an overhead view of a helicopter flying along a desert road, and based on the sun the next day had arrived.

"They have one dream," Chris was heard saying. "To claw their way back to fame no matter what it takes!" A bus drove onto screen down below. "Cheating! Shameless self-promotion! Sabotage! I love those kids!"

The feed cut to Chef Hatchet inside the helicopter. "You said they were washed up," he told the man next to him, who was wearing sunglasses in addition to the headsets both men had.

"That was before they set off on an unforgettable comeback adventure!" Chris sniffed and wiped his nose.

"We have a feed from inside the Drama Brother bus!" Blaineley announced with her hand to her ear.

XXX

A brief bit of static transitioned the scene to the feed inside the bus, focusing on Sierra as she sat next to a sleeping Staci. "I told you these people were gossip worthy!" Sierra said, the camera panning back through the rows behind her showing Sammy and DJ resting their heads against one another; Scarlett sleeping soundlessly next to her snoring brother; Malcolm seated with a vacant and slack-jawed expression and Trent slumping forward with a tired grunt as he rested his head against the seat in front of him.

The camera cut to the front of the bus, where Kitsune was at the wheel.

"Is this really as fast as it can go?" She asked with a mixture of disappointment and annoyance.

"Uhh, maybe you should let Duncan drive," Gwen suggested.

"Not helping Gwen," Kitsune said, dropping the disappointment from earlier.

"It doesn't matter who drives," Noah said. "These things aren't built for speed."

The camera cut to Scarlett, who had awoken and was now looking quite green. "Oh no," she moaned while putting her hands on her stomach, "I think I left my," she paused to stop herself from puking, "motion sickness medication back at home!" She slid down a little in her seat.

"You better not get sick on me!" Amy yelled at the brainiac. She was seated at a table booth on the other side of the bus, with Heather and Alejandro on one side and Leshawna on the other.

"How'd I get stuck over here with ya'll?" Leshawna asked.

"Because you got got trashing your geek-wad of a boyfriend on national television, was voted off, and then dumped all in the same day," Heather said with a smirk.

The sista groaned and slumped over, then a sudden bump caused all at the table to jump.

"Do you smell something?" Alejandro asked.

The shot moved to Sugar as she struggled to jam what looked like several bags of popcorn into an overhead compartment above the seat she shared with Tyler, which was behind Malcolm and Trent. "Just tryin' to get my snacks secured!" the pageant queen said with a grunt. "Don't want it ruinin' the bus, y'know." Another bump was hit, causing the compartment to open back up and popcorn to pour out. "Crud!" Sugar exclaimed with a disappointed look at her spilled food.

"You do realize DJ was gonna cook as soon as he woke up right?" Tyler asked from under a pile of popcorn.

"Hey! Guys!" Zoey said, getting everyone's attention. She was shown sticking her head out the window from the outside of the bus, and said "There's the Dirtbag bus, up ahead!" The tour bus was shown from the front, and the camera pulled back to show a second, darker bus on the road ahead of it. Through its windshield, Matthew was shown driving with a scowl.

"We gotta find a way to slow them down!" Malcolm declared, the cry having woken him and the others up.

"Get closer!" Harold commanded, having made his way to the front of the bus.

"And then what?" Kitsune asked indignantly.

"I learned some battle tactics at pirate camp!" the dweeb answered.

"You got game Harold!" Leshawna yelled.

Kitsune narrowed her eyes and stepped on the gas, and the tour bus tires squealed and sped up. Their bus rammed into the Dirtbag's ride, jolting Matthew. With a triumphant smirk on her face, Kitsune maneuvered the tour bus ahead of their rivals.

"Now if we only had some kind of catapult," Harold thought aloud. The camera zoomed in and he dramatically declared "Like a bra!"

"Wow, genius," Noah deadpanned.

"Got any better ideas?" Gwen asked.

"Here's a bra!" Leshawna said from off screen. A rip and tear was heard then a snap, and a large pink bra flew on screen and landed on Noah's head.

The camera cut back to the sista, who was adjusting her chest as Amy, Heather, and Alejandro stared in shock. "Y'all act like you never seen triple D's before," she said as the girls glared in apparent jealousy.

The camera flashed to the exterior of the back of the tour bus as a door was kicked open by Gwen. "Get ready to launch!" she hollered back into the bus.

The shot cut back inside where Sugar was holding back the bra.

"Tyler!" Harold ordered. "Ammo!"

"I'm all over it," the jock said.

"Be careful!" DJ told the group, standing up worriedly from his seat. "If we get the floors dirty our manager's gonna kill us."

Tyler looked back at the brickhouse, then tripped. The popcorn flew from his hands and landed in the cups of the bra.

"I'm runnin' outta give!" Sugar cried.

"Aye matey!" Harold said in a pirate accent. "Fire in the hole!" Sugar let go of the bra. It fired forward like a slingshot, and Gwen was forced to quickly duck as popcorn hurtled over him and out the back door.

Matthew was shown through the other bus' windshield again, gasping in shock as the glass was suddenly covered with buttery popcorn.

The view from above was shown as the helicopter made a pass over the road, Chris laughing at the sight below. "Looks like our Total Drama heroes are launching extra-greasy cannonballs!" he announced into his headset with visible excitement.

"Chris," Blaineley asked back in the Celebrity Manhunt studio, "in your entire career, have you ever seen anything so underhanded?"

"Nothing as depraved as this, Blaineley," Chris said as he began to tear up, "nothing as depraved as this!" He paused to lift his shades, and wiped the tears away from his eyes.

Tyler was shown gleefully loading another shot into the re-purposed bra as Sugar pulled it back. "Eat kettle-corn!" the pageant queen declared as the others watched on in excitement.

"Fire!" Gwen commanded from the doorway, and seconds later another barrage of popcorn flew out the back. Mike poked his head out of the doorway shortly after that.

It hit its target again, and the Dirtbags' windshield wipers were turned on to clear a space for Matthew to see. "You're gonna pay for that!" he yelled in anger.

"You have to catch us first!" Mike yelled back, having heard him somehow.

Matthew was shown gritting his teeth, and the camera panned to the left as the sasquatch leaned out of the Dirtbag bus, roared and shook and angry fist. It was promptly shot with the next load of popcorn and blinked in surprise.

"Hurry it up!" Duncan ordered as the camera cut to the front of the bus.

"I already told you it won't go any faster!" Kitsune yelled back.

"What we need is a man behind the wheel," the punk declared with crossed arms.

"Find me one," his ex said with a smirk.

"If you'd just listen to me-"

"Oh now you wanna get a back bone!"

"You're crazy you know that?" Duncan asked, getting in the goofball's face.

"And you're an idiot!" She yelled back. The two stared in each other's eyes, then began to make-out.

"When I catch up to them...," Matthew muttered as the camera panned back to him. Another volley of popcorn covered his windshield, and he groaned. His bus suddenly hit a bump, and through the windshield wipers the hipster could be shown struggling to control the steering wheel.

The shot cut back inside the tour bus. "Well, looks like that's over with," Shawn said as he looked out a window. "The other bus is way behind us!" A triumphant tune played as the camera panned up the bus, showing most of the contestants celebrating their perceived victory.

Their celebration was cut short when the camera began rocking wildly. "Why's the road so bumpy all of a sudden?" Gwen asked in alarm as Mike fell into a nearby doorway.

He was heard inhaling and said in Chester's voice "These kids today don't know how to drive!"

The camera cut back to the driver seat, where Duncan and Kitsune were happily making out even though she was supposed to be driving. The view from above was shown again as the two buses began to veer off the road.

"Where'd those guys learn to drive?" Chris asked. The shot panned ahead to show the two vehicles were headed for a canyon. "Uh-oh."

Noah was shown sticking his head out of a window. "Foxtrot!" He cried in alarm. "Look out!"

She stopped kissing her ex long enough to see the danger ahead. However, it was too late to do anything but scream. Which everyone on board did.

"Hit the brakes already!" Heather cried in panic.

"Really?!" Kitsune yelled back as the camera showed her repeatedly trying to hit the brakes. "Because I thought I'd slam on the gas! That seemed like a good idea!"

The Drama Brother bus was shown careening towards the edge of the canyon cliff again, Blaineley and Josh were shown wide-eyed and eating popcorn back in their studio, and a split-screen shot both buses windshields showed Sierra and all the original cast bus and the six members of the Total Drama Dirtbag cast screaming in terror at the front of their respective vehicles.

From above, the bus was shown driving off the cliff. The camera cut back to Chris and Chef as they winced at the sound of two crashes, then shared a brief look. "Total Drama, Inc. waives all legal responsibility for the sudden death of their cast and crew!" the host told the camera, holding up a large stack of papers.

"Told you those would come in handy!" Chef said with a cackle

\

The camera flashed to the inside of the crashed tour bus. Everyone was on the ground and groaning, except for Malcolm. He got up and dusted himself off. "I'm alive?" he asked in disbelief. "And I'm not hurt!" An overhead compartment opened up, and a suitcase fell on his head, knocking him out.

"Would you look at that?" Chef said from the helicopter in awe. "They're not dead."

"Yeah," Chris said, "but they're probably all banged up. You know, the kind you never really heal from. Maybe I should call for help?" he suggested with a hand on his chin. The two men shared a look... then burst into laughter and flew off.

The camera lingered on the desert sun, then panned back down onto the wreckage of the two buses. The front end of the Drama Brother bus was crumpled, and Dirtbag bus was upside down, but somehow everyone had gotten out safely.

"Wow, I can't believe we didn't die," Tyler said to the others, the Dirtbags standing noticeably away from the Total Drama cast plus one.

"Maybe we should look for help?" Trent suggested.

"If I were you and I was serious about this fame grab," Matthew said, "I'd stay where I was."

The scruffy guy snorted in contempt. "Screw that. I'm not waitin' for McLean to get off his lazy butt and remember us. Feel free to wait here if you want kid, but I'm gonna go find a burger joint. Whaddaya say boys," he asked the others, "you with me?"

The bear, the sasquatch, the small Inuit man, and the psycho killer with the chainsaw and a hook looked at each other and murmured in agreement. The five then walked away, leaving the teens alone to next to the wrecked busses.

The camera panned up through the high rock walls of the canyon to the sun, which moved across the sky as the footage skipped ahead a few hours. The shot panned back down to Zoey as she woke up and stretched her arms

"I wonder if those guys found any help yet..." she wondered aloud.

\

The scene cut over to a lone white two-story house in the middle of nowhere, the only sign of nearby civilization being the power line leading into it.

"Hey yo! Open up! We're starvin' out here!" the scruffy white guy was heard yelling, followed first by a few quick knocks and then by a revving chainsaw. The camera cut to a view of the door from inside the house, the standard international radioactive symbol plastered all over the walls. A roaring chainsaw cut through the door and it fell over, and the psycho killer stepped aside to let the scruffy guy in. "Yo, what's the matter with you dummies? Didn't you hear us?"

The shot pulled back to show a pair of crash test dummies set up in the house's front room. "Um, I think these are dummies," the hook-handed killer said.

"Oh yeah," the scruffy guy said blankly. "Wait a minute..."

"Mmm," the killer nodded, "this sure is bad. Isolated location," he looked around, "dummies, nuclear testing signs," the trefoil symbols were shown again, "horrible mutants..."

The camera panned down and over to a pair of mutant humans. On the left was a masculine with green skin, five nipples, three eyes, and a potbelly. On his right was a fatter and more feminine one with slimy-looking yellow skin, beady eyes, and a single nostril in her nose.

The masculine one raised a three-fingered hand and said "Hi!"

The sasquatch made some panicked grunts and motioned for everyone to leave.

The camera immediately cut back to the distance shot of the house as the five starting running away from it, screaming at the top of their lungs. Zooming out, several ominous warning signs were shown amidst rocks and barbed wire just as a telltale whistling sound was heard.

A bomb was dropped on the house, and it exploded into a mushroom cloud.

\

The scene panned across the twenty-four teens as they began to wake up. "Guess I'd better go find something to eat," Mike said as the camera stopped on him and he stood up. The footage skipped ahead to show everyone slurping something out of bowls while DJ watched and beamed in pride.

"Dude, what'd you say this was again?" Malcolm asked in glee as the camera focused on him and DJ.

"Fried rocks and tumbleweed," the brickhouse answered.

"You my friend, have a gift!" Malcolm cheered.

Their conversation was cut off by a large thump, and they and the camera cut to a large electromagnet grabbing the Dirtbag bus.

"It's Chris!" Sierra announced as the shot cut to the man in the helicopter.

"They don't call me 'Best Reality Host' for nothing!" he declared over the cheers of the teens. The scene flashed ahead to Duncan helping Sugar onto the bus and them being carried off.

\

The footage flashed over to the Total Drama Action film lot, where the helicopter and bus could be seen, then zoomed in on the craft services tent. The camera cut inside just as Matthew took a seat next to Noah and the shot panned across the inside of the tent They were divided roughly according to the season one teams, with Sierra on an end next to Harold.

"I have an announcement," Chris said from the middle of the room. "But first, I'll need everyone to write their name on a ping-pong ball." The shot cut to Chef handing everyone, except Matthew, a small white ball and the cast did as they were told.

\

"Now," Chris said with a grin. "We all know no one does drama like you guys."

"Duh!" Heather said. "But what happened to Total Drama Dirtbags?"

"There never was a Total Drama Dirtbags!" Matthew announced suddenly, causing everyone to gasp. "The whole thing was a trick! And you idiots fell for it!"

"Is that true?" Heather accused.

"Mostly," Chris answered somewhat sheepishly. "I did come up with the name. But anyhoo, I needed to find out if you kids still had it," he told them with finger pistols, "aand you do."

"What about him?" Heather asked, pointing to Matthew.

"A dupe, just like the rest of you," he answered while giving the queen bee a noogie. "I needed someone on the inside," he explained as she glared at him. "But, to make it up I told him he could join you guys next time!"

"What do you mean, next time?" Noah asked suspiciously.

"A no-holds-barred race around the world," Chris answered and raised his arms in excitement, "in a jet, for one! Million! Dollars!"

"After all the crap you put us through?" Gwen asked. "No thanks."

"Well, not all of you are coming," he announced. "That's what the ping-pong balls were for." The shot zoomed out as Chef rolled a cart with a bingo machine on it. "One-by-one, I'll pull out sixteen balls from this doohickey. If you're name is on one, you get to compete! And competing next season is... " Chef turned the crank for a moment and Chris reached in and grabbed the first one. "Noah!" The bookworm scowled at the announcement.

"Harold! Mike! Zoey! Scarlett!" The four were shown smiling.

"Alejandro! Heather! Duncan!" One by one, the three were shown giving curious looks.

"Sierra?" Chris asked. The girl was heard squealing. "Whoever that is, she's in."

"Staci," he continued tersely.

"Malcolm! Kitsune! Sky! Tyler!" The four were all shown looking happy, Kitsune looking especially pleased.

"Leshawna! Aaaaaaannnndddd," each of the remaining hopefuls were all seen leaning forward in anticipation. "Victor!"

The camera showed close-ups of the seven left behind. DJ and Sammy didn't seem disturbed, Trent and Gwen, seemed almost happy, Sugar and Amy looked angry, and Shawn just gave a shrug of acceptance.

\

The tense score continued back in the Celebrity Manhunt studio, where Blaineley shook her fist excitedly. "Woop woop woop! Celebrity Manhunt exclusive alert!"

"Another season of Total Drama is coming," Josh added, "and I for one can't wait."

"Well, Drama Machine, what do you think of that?" Blaineley asked the show's robot. The camera quick-panned over to it rolling forward; it looked like it had been fixed, and the aged repairman was standing in front of it with a proud smile. It beeped and booped a few times as the needle on its mouth-meter plunged all the way to the right; the background music took a sudden twist, and the Drama Machine exploded into a cloud of smoke that left it wrecked and the repairman covered in soot.

Blaineley and Josh laughed. "Well, I think it's about time we signed off," Josh told his cohost before looking back at the camera. "Thanks for watching Celebrity Manhunt's Total Drama Reunion Special."

"We'll be back tomorrow night with more news on the new season, as well as all the latest post-Gemmie celebrity gossip," Blaineley added.

"Until then," Josh finished, "goodnight everybody!" The two hosts waved, and their feed cut to a still image of the Celebrity Manhunt magnifying glass logo.

\

Static transitioned the scene to a long-distance shot of the Total Drama Action film lot, which promptly zoomed in to the make-up trailer used for confessionals.

XXX

"Looks like I got another shot at the million," Leshawna said with a grin. "But I gotta make sure that skinny little toothpick Sierra won't steal poor Harold."

XXX

"Alright," Scarlett told her twin as both were in the confessional, "for two seasons we tried being nice. Now, we do things my way."

Harold sighed in defeat. "Just try not to go too far. These are our friends."

"Your friends perhaps," she retorted.

XXX

"Oh em gee," Sierra started her turn with an excited grin, "this is my first confessional ever," she giggled. "I am so excited! I never thought I'd be on Total Drama! My fave show ever. Getting the chance to hang with all my favorite TV stars is so fab."

"To think, I'll be able to answer all those Harold questions on the Drama Brother Blog like; How early in the morning does he beatbox? How many times a day does he say 'Gosh!'? And what song does he sing in the shower?" She became flustered. "That's the one I'm looking forward to answering the most."

XXX

"This is awesome!" Staci confessed. "I can't wait to be on the jet. Did you know that me Great-great-great-great-"

XXX

"Another season of being tortured by McLean?" Noah asked in false excitement. "eeee. I can't wait. Apparently I can't back out of this, so we'll see how long I last this time."

XXX

"Third time's the charm!" Kitsune said with a grin.

XXX

"Hey, I'm game," Duncan said as he held up his knife. "Bring it on Chris!" He twirled the knife and stuck it in the counter with a grin.

XXX

"Look at this bunch of morons," Matthew told the audience. "How any of them manage to function is beyond me. Don't worry, someone who actually deserves the money will win this time." He smirked at the camera. "And I'll even use small words so you idiots can understand what I'm saying."

XXX

"I can't wait for the next season!" Malcolm cheered. "I always wanted to know how far I'd gotten if I didnt quit last time. Hopefully me or Harold'll win... we need a new bus..."

XXX

"...great-great-great..." Staci continued.

XXX

"I just wanna know where we're going first," Mike said with a shrug.

XXX

An extra long bout of static ended the string of confessionals, and the footage picked up in front of a brown jumbo jet that had large logos of Chris McLean in a classic pilot's outfit plastered on the nose and tail fin. A boarding escalator had already been wheeled up to the lone door on the jet's side.

"Seventeen teens!" Chris himself announced, looking quite small as he walked into the scene from the right. "A trip around the world, and a million dollars." The camera cut in closer as he reached the bottom of the escalator. "What more could you possibly want?"

Just then, Chef Hatchet came down the escalator wearing a female flight attendant's uniform and a curly blonde wig. "How 'bout music?" he suggested.

"Yeah," Chris said with a sly look, "everybody's doing the musical thing now. Sure!" He shrugged happily. "Aaaaand music!" He shot a win and finger pistol off camera. "See ya next time, on Total! Drama!" The camera zoomed out twice, then moved to and angled shot of a flagpole on top of a building as what sounded like a grand and dramatic piece of show music began to play.

"Musical!" Chris and Chef sung as they jumped out from either side of the pole and a plane took off behind them.

"Muusiicaal~!" they repeated, Chef holding Chris over his head as the two rode the top of a baggage tug.

"Muuuusiiiicaaaal~~!" The camera flashed back to the two standing by the boarding steps with their arms held high, the shot pulling back as the music came to a peak.

The nose of the jet suddenly broke off and fell forward onto the ground with a crash.

"Uhh, maybe not!" Chris said.

The dramatic music briefly resumed as a logo took over the screen – a small black jumbo jet circling a globe-like earth with the title 'TOTAL DRAMA WORLD TOUR' on it.

---

Author's Note Post Script: I have quite a bit to discuss. First I wanna talk about the time between seasons. Mainly I wanted all the established villains to have kind of a cruddy time while everyone else did fairly well. Maybe it diminished the need to reclaim their fame, but I liked the idea.

And DJ in the band is the reason why I mentioned him being able to play the guitar back in 'Rock n' Rule'. Also, I hated the whole 'DJ kills a bunch of people with food' thing. Of course by the time I realized that meant no Mama DJ, it was too late to change. Hopefully the pursuit doesn't lose too much without her.

I hope you liked how the cast was chosen in story. I wanted there to be some randomness to it... no pun intended.

The newbies: Sierra was probably the luckiest placement of the entire series, and the reason that I had to stress that the new people were chosen randomly. She was the person who was in canon World Tour, but being a canon newbie probably was a point against people guessing her.

Then there's Matthew. First off, I want it to be made clear that it's ok if you don't like him. You really aren't supposed to. He comes with a unique set of challenges and rewards, but I'm kinda excited to write him because of how different he is, as you can tell.

Now for the seven that I didn't include:

Amy - In my mind, she only exists as a part of Sammy's overall plot whatever it may be. The only reason she was in last season was that I needed an acceptable early boot. I just don't see a need for her this time around.

DJ - This is going to be one of the two most controversial casting choices of the series. Frankly, I'm happy with his development and I don't really wanna give myself a chance to screw it up.

Gwen - She's an Aftermath host, and I don't think I could reasonably end her run in the first quarter

Sammy - Like with Amy, I just don't see anything else I could do with her.

Shawn - I really wanted to include him, but I just couldn't swing it without bumping Malcolm or Tyler. But since that would mean someone only getting one season, excluding Gwent for obvious reasons, I couldn't do it.

Sugar - She had a great run last season, but I'd like to think I've got enough villains on that plane.

Trent - Like with Gwen, I couldn't see myself axing him early enough to still be an Aftermath host.

Our eleven 'main characters' I think all were good picks for their own reasons, so I won't get into that.

As always there's probably more that I'm forgetting right now and will answer in reviews. I'm looking forward to writing the next season. Which will be posted March 23. For real this time.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14

---

RDWT Cast:

The Veterans:

Alejandro - The Arch-Villain

Duncan - The Delinquent

Harold - The Dweeb

Heather - The Queen Bee

Kitsune - The Goofball

Leshawna - The Sista With a 'Tude

Mike - The Comedian

Noah - The Bookworm

Sky - The Athlete

Victor - The Gentleman

Zoey - The Indie Chick

The Returnees:

Malcolm - The Pain Magnet

Scarlett - The Quiet Brainiac

Staci - The Compulsive Liar

Tyler - The Jock

And Introducing:

Matthew - The Hipster

Sierra - The Obsessive Uber-Fan