On the other side of a patch of bushes, Miroku sat with his back to the lake where both girls and both demons were, his arms crossed as he stared into the fire he built to help dry the ladies clothes after they were scrubbed free of the bug blood. While he was, of course, painfully aware of their current state of undress, for once there was something more important on his mind than a peep show.
That was, of course, Inuyasha.
Like the others, he was having a very hard time understanding why his thick headed friend would have just bailed like that in the middle of a fight. What was more, it was right when Kagome needed his help he left. Miroku knew it wasn't the first time he left the living miko to her own devices in her time of need, but it was the first time it was an active choice to leave her fate to the Kami.
All the other times, it was after he was already gone that the attack and attempt to take Kagome's shards came, but this was different. They were in the middle of battle and he just up and left, knowing he was needed, and just not caring. The monk considered the benefit of the doubt, that there might be a reason Inuyasha bolted like he did, but nothing he came up with made sense. Could the hanyou have been bewitched somehow in a way that neither he nor Kagome could sense? Had he just flat out finally lost his damn mind? That the monk didn't know, but he knew he was going to have to get to the bottom of this before it happened again, and ended in a much less favorable way.
On the heels of that thought, came more focus on the sheer amount of power Kagome had unleashed. In the years they had been traveling together, Miroku could sense the girl was powerful, but never could he have guessed she held that much spiritual energy inside her. It was massive, and he had never heard of any holy being holding that much before; not even Kikyo, and she was supposed to have been the most powerful priestess to ever live beside the one that created the Shikon no Tama.
Miroku could in no way discount the power the resurrected miko had, even still after having died. The thing was, Kagome was her reincarnation, which gave Kagome Kikyo's power, and Kikyo only had riki at all because she had retained a small piece of Kagome's soul when she was brought back from the dead. The only real difference between the two was Kikyo knew how to use it, and Kagome was learning as she went. Kikyo could do great things with the small amount she had because she had trained her whole life to do so, and Kagome only had a couple of years under her belt. Miroku was positive that had Kagome had the time to really focus and really learn to wield the power within her, Kagome would be all but unstoppable when it came to this fight with Naraku. Hell, he would even go out on a limb and say she would be able to vanquish the bastard on her own if she knew what she was doing.
Sighing and leaning back, Miroku scratched his brow as he listened into the sounds behind him, making sure the girls were alright before diving back into his thoughts, this time once again focusing on the hanyou.
Kagome was gonna kill him. Maybe she wouldn't, but she would be well within her rights to zap him a bit for what he did. One thing he was absolutely positive about was the inu was gonna be picking dirt and grass out of his teeth for weeks. A small grin and quiet chuckle, Miroku shook his head. Kagome had stopped using the beads around his neck months ago when she was upset, saying it made her feel bad to have so much power of him and vowed to not say the dreaded word unless it was in a life or death situation. In this sense, Miroku could argue it was indeed that, because if Kagome didn't deal out some kind of punishment, Sango would, and she cared far less about having power over someone than Kagome did.
In the water, the miko in question was actually quite subdued. She said nothing as she continued to clean Shippo's fur of the dirt and dust that held trace amounts of holy energy. Her eyes were distant as she replayed the scene of Inuyasha running away over and over in her mind. She was present enough to respond to Shippo and Sango if they said something that required her to, but other than that, she was running a loop in her mind with no end in sight.
It wasn't just that he left her like he did, or even when he did. It was that on top of him still not meeting back up with them. Normally when he bolted to see Kikyo he would only be gone a short time, hoping to return before anyone really noticed how long he had been gone. Why was this time any different? Was it because he knew they knew where he was and who he was with so it didn't matter he had been gone so long? Was it he finally made his choice between her and Kikyo? Kagome wasn't stupid. She knew the time for that was coming. In all honesty, she just wanted it over.
She wanted it all over.
In truth, you could say he already had chosen who he really wanted. It was pretty clear, actually, especially after today. How could anyone say it wasn't? He left her, to go be with Kikyo, in the middle of a fight with a bug that could have easily killed all of them. Kagome knew her other friends thought she didn't know, but she was achingly aware of Inuyasha's absence from camp on a regular basis. Did they so easily forget the walking funeral urn carried a part of her soul, and she could feel when it was close? She didn't need to see the demon eels to know Kikyo was close. If she was within a mile or so, Kagome knew it.
Quite a few times Kagome had had the thought to pull her soul back when she knew Kikyo was too weak to hold onto it, but that never sat well for long and the thought always made her stomach roll and heart clench. She didn't want to get a man that way. She wanted one that wanted her, and not only settle because there wasn't another option. She had also considered a few other things, like Inuyasha only tolerating her because she looked like Kikyo, and that maybe her own feelings for the inu hanyou were because of the fact she had the soul of his lost love.
That hardly seemed fair, though.
Her heart should be hers to give away, or take back, as she saw fit. She shouldn't have feelings for someone just because at one point a part of her loved that person. Hojo was a perfect example of this. He was a very nice boy, and he cared about her; not because he had to due to a past he couldn't let go of, but because he actually liked her. She couldn't bring herself to like him, though, and she never understood why. He was perfect for her in so many ways, but he never seemed like enough after she met Inuyasha. Then again, that could have more to do with the fact she knew Hojo's ancestor, and less because of Inuyasha. The jury was still out on that one.
And, then there was Kouga. Now, he was nearly the whole package. Overlooking the fact the wolf prince was fucking gorgeous, he all but showered her with attention and affection every time they crossed paths, going nearly out of his way to show he cared without stepping too much on her toes. He had no past tie to her, and he still wanted her. When she was around, he acted like there was no one else there. He showed up at just the right time, he put himself in danger to protect her, and he did it all because he wanted to, not because she had a passing resemblance to someone else. She knew a lot of what he did was to piss off Inuyasha, but she actually found it endearing. However, again, she couldn't bring herself to appreciate it, though she actually wanted to. Instead, the majority of her bulked at it, not liking anything the ookami did for her.
Rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands, she sighed hard and looked to the bright blue sky at the clouds that lazily drifted in the soft breeze. This was stupid. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. She didn't know why that was, but she knew that much. So long as a livingish Kikyo walked the Earth, Kagome knew she would always come second. She would always be the stand in.
She would never be the one Inuyasha really wanted.
When she felt eyes on her, Kagome lifted her head, giving a smile to Sango, but said nothing. She didn't want to talk about it. She knew it wouldn't do anything but piss her off, and she was done getting upset over the actions of Inuyasha. She had been saying for how long she wasn't Kikyo? That she was her own person? It was time she finally showed the hanyou she wasn't lying about that. When, or maybe even if, he showed back up, Kagome had every intention of having a serious chat with him and making sure he knew where she stood.
She was making the choice for him. She was done being the stand in. She was done coming second to walking flower pot. She was just done. After today, she was no longer going to tolerate the way he treated her, or the way he acted towards her because he thought she didn't know, or the way he compared her to the dead bitch.
She would do what she said she would and get the jewel back together, but she didn't care what he did anymore, or with who.
The girls stayed in the water until Miroku informed them their clothes were dry enough to put on and, once they were dressed, they set out again. None of them really cared where they were heading at the moment. They had to wait for Inuyasha to appear anyways, so they decided to just head for the next village. If they were going to be without him for the quickly approaching night, they all agreed it was better to be within a village than out in the woods.