"Smells like a weirdo!"

I stop digging and look up.

"Oh. Hi, Lance."

He makes a beeline for my locker, but Hunk keeps going.

"Haven't seen you lately! Where you been?"

That's a pretty awkward question to answer. My hand goes to the cross tucked in my shirt.

"Uh, you know. Busy."

He leans up against the next locker. I would get burned if I tried that.

"Yeah, I'll bet. That's probably why you get better grades than me."

That and a few more reasons. I hope he hasn't been suffering over his homework without me.

I pick up Linda to close the locker, but for some reason I hang back from doing it. I don't really want to talk, but it feels like there's something that needs to be said. Why does human interaction have to be so complicated? Well. Almost-human interaction. Whatever.

"Hunk left without you?" I say.

He's been coming to school with band-aids on his face, and that's how I realized that they're only made for white people.

Lance shrugs.

"Oh, he just feels bad about trying to rip your throat out. I TOLD him you didn't take it personally. …You don't, do you?"

"No, uh…"

"You can't just trail off like that, Pidge, I have to know if I lied to him by accident!"

I feel so fidgety but I don't have a good spoon to play with. Harold's been replaced but the new one is the wrong kind.

I know I should say something but I don't know how.

But I guess my face is saying a few things of its own. Lance draws back.

"We scared you, didn't we?"

I've never heard him so quiet.

"Maybe."

It seems rude to tell someone you were afraid for your life in their presence.

"Hey, listen, don't worry," Lance says. "Shiro says we'll test the interference at the warehouse next month. You've always wanted to see the warehouse, right? I mean, it's not THAT cool, but-"

I cut him off.

"I don't think I'm worth it for you guys."

He looks startled.

"What?"

"What I said. It's better for everyone if I don't come back."

His hand thumps onto my shoulder.

"Pidge. As your fake boyfriend, let me tell you something." I'm sure that what's coming next is a joke, but he surprises me. "The thing about weirdos is, it really sucks to be one and it's also super complicated. And when you get weirdos together, yeah, it gets MORE complicated. But if you can deal with more complicated, the REST of it starts to suck less, and… you know. Maybe sometimes it's worth it."

"Yeah, I guess…"

"I mean, I get it. It's not like I'd want you to MISS me…" He glances away.

I feel like this conversation is going quite poorly. Gotta diagnose the problem on the fly…

"No, that's not it," I say. "Maybe I'm saying this because I care about you."

That's a weird thing for me to say.

"And maybe I'm saying this because I care about YOU," Lance says back. "I'm SAYING we're willing to work around stuff if we have to. That's what friends do."

"But what if someone gets hurt?" I'm thinking of a wolf's head smashing wood chips out of a cabinet. I'm thinking of a boy I know crying inconsolably for blood.

Lance shrugs.

"Things happen." Then he grins. "But that's what we keep Shiro around for."

I didn't just mean hurt in a physical sense. I don't think there's a medic in the world who can make me un-see those naked bodies and naked souls. I feel like a voyeur, like I violated literally everybody. I feel so fucking dirty.

"But everyone was so upset…"

"Pidge, do I look upset? We were just surprised is all, things happen. If anything it looks like YOU'RE the one who's upset."

I reflexively start to say "I'm not upset," but I realize it's a shameless, utter lie. It's just hard to talk about being upset when you've never done it before.

It's almost funny. I watched an entire soul come out like vomit, but I still don't want to talk about how *I* feel.

Maybe it's because I saw how ugly that was.

"Is Keith doing better?"

"Fuck Keith, I want to know if YOU'RE doing better."

"No! I'm not! I ruined EVERYTHING!"

"Holy shit, Pidge, who let you walk out of there thinking it was your fault?"

I probably shouldn't tell him that I didn't think that until he called me.

"Okay, question," Lance says. "Does it bother you more that we almost killed you, or that you kinda fucked us all up?"

"…both?"

"Okay, well that's a start."

It's both but it's mostly the second one. I usually can't tell why people don't like me. I know it's autism-related but as for the specific thing I do that puts people off, it could be anything. But this time I know exactly how I hurt them. It even feels legitimate to ME not to like someone who does that to you.

I can't help but think that if I wasn't a changeling, if I was just your usual human autistic brat, none of them would be talking to me.

"You guys only like me because you HAVE to."

If Lance looked fine about everything else, now he looks hurt.

"Paloma… there's no such thing as HAVING to like someone."

There's the bell. But, for the first time, it seems more important to stay out here.

"Is the only reason you're hanging out with US because you think you have to?" Lance asks after a moment.

"No, I…"

IS it?

"I don't know," I finally say. "I don't really know how friends work."

He gives me the gentlest of noogies.

"Well, you're in luck, because your auntie Lance is more than willing to help you figure that out."

Somehow that gets a chortle out of me.

"You're supposed to be my BOYFRIEND, remember?"

"But of course, milady," he lets me go with an exaggerated bow.

I didn't deserve Dylan and I don't deserve Lance, either. For my first act of friendship, I'm going to get him a new bowtie.

I start to close my locker when he calls my attention back.

"Hey Pidge, I want to show you something."

It's his phone background.

It looks like a photo of a photo hanging on someone's refrigerator. Two kids about seven, one with his hand all gauzed up. Smiling like it's the Best Day of their Whole Life.

"Is this you and Hunk?"

"Yep. That's the last photo from when we were normal."

"So, what happened?"

"I bit him."

"What?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't have been at his house if I knew…"

For the first time, I notice the faint ripple of a scar on his hand.

Even the great Lance McClain has something he's not proud of.

"This happened at his HOUSE and his parents still don't know?"

"Cover stories are easy. All you have to do is say something that no one wants to deal with."

"So what did you say?"

"If I remember correctly, I said 'Me and Hunk are werewolves.'"

Well. Who am I to argue with what works?

"I don't really know where I'm going with this…" Lance puts his phone away.

"That things happen and you can still be friends?"

"Yeah. THAT'S where I'm going with this."

I guess it's a fair trade, I'll help him with school and he'll help me with people. I never really thought ANYONE could help me. Up until recently I didn't think I NEEDED it.

There's some footsteps and a teacher rounds the corner.

"What are you two doing out here? The bell rang ages ago."

I'm about to make something up but Lance beats me to it.

"We cut class to have sex."

"So, Katie, things are going well with your boyfriend?" my mom asks me over dinner.

"Uh, yeah. Why do you ask?"

"We got a call from your school today."

Oh fucking god.

"It's not what it looks like."

She laughs.

"Relax, honey, it's okay. I know I don't say this often, but there are things to be learned in a classroom, and things to be learned outside it. To be honest, Katie," my mom smiles, "You're more than fine with the classroom sort. I was beginning to worry you'd never work on the OTHER kind."

Is she talking about interpersonal relationships in general, or is she talking about fucking people in the bathroom?

"Um… so… you're not mad?"

"Just be more careful that you don't get caught next time. And don't hesitate to talk to me if you have any questions."

Am I actually disappointing my mom for NOT fucking people in the bathroom?

I wonder what level of disappointment Matt would have achieved if he were still here. I wonder if he even knows how babies are made.

Fuck, is Matt even still ALIVE?

"He sounds like a nice boy, from what I've heard," my dad says. "Are we going to meet his family sometime?"

Holy fuck, Dad, how serious do you think this is?

"UM, that's probably not a good idea."

"Why's that?"

Crap.

"Beeeeecause I actually have a DIFFERENT boyfriend now. Yeah. That's a recent development."

"You know, Katie, you don't have to keep all these boys a secret from us," my dad laughs.

Dad, you have no idea.

And now I have a call to make after dinner.

"What do you MEAN you're fake-breaking-up with me?" Lance shouts through the phone.

"Just as far as my parents are concerned."

"Yeah, and how far is THAT? That was our whole relationship!"

"That's not true. YOUR parents still think we're dating."

"Yeah, well what's the point NOW?"

"Tell them you got dumped, maybe they'll take you out to dinner or something."

"You know, they still don't know what you look like, I could invite you as a friend," he says. I swear I can hear him WINKING.

It's a nice offer but I don't want him to pay for more things for me.

"No, that's fine," I say. "You realize I'd have to bring my classy plastic cutlery, right?"

"I'll bring some too if you don't want to look weird," Lance says.

I also don't want to insult an entire family of Christians.

"Maybe not until we've tested the interference."

"Fair enough. But hey, thanks for calling, I've missed you."

That kind of takes me aback. I've never been missed before.

"Yeah. Me too."

This is a pretty weird breakup.

I'm actually really glad he came and found me today. Maybe the others have missed me, too.

I pull up Hunk's number after I hang up. Gonna tell him that I don't take it personally.