A huge Merci to all those appreciative readers who reviewed, favourited, followed and fantasised about Captain James taking care of himself in jpcrafty's polished fic Captain James' Diary. We certainly enjoyed it at Miniature Towers!

This week our writer is the popular SA85, who has been delighting us all with her excellent fic Something Worth Saving. Not only does she write persuasively about our favourite couple Molly and Charles, but she also writes beautifully about Georgie and Elvis. Tonight Georgie and Elvis fans are in for a treat with a heart wrenching one shot about Elvis' last moments.

EVERYBODY HURTS

by

SA85

"No,no,no, please god no". She screamed.

"Georgie he's gone". Charles could barely get the words out, he felt like once he said it then it was really happening.

"No...no he isn't." Her hands were shaking. "I need to bag him. Please, Elvis don't do this. Don't fucking do this to me" She was pounding his chest, trying to do chest compressions and find a pulse.

She felt the arms dragging her away from him.

"Get off me. I have to help him" she sobbed as she tried to struggle free.

"Georgie. We need to clear the area. We don't know if there's any more bombs, or insurgents. We have to take cover" he pleaded frantically as he desperately tried to hold on to her.

"No. I'm not leaving him." She yelled.

"Georgie. He's dead". He said firmly. Words he couldn't actually believe he was saying.

She collapsed against the weight of his arms. "We can't leave him" she sobbed

"We won't. But right now we need to move". He ordered as he dragged her away

….

Georgie

She didn't remember how she'd got there, but she was now sitting in the back of the truck. The only sound was the rumbling of the engine as they travelled along the bumpy roads. Everything else was silent. No one wanted to speak. Which she was grateful for, one stupid little comment from Richards and she would've killed her there and then. Her brain was struggling to comprehend what had just happened. She looked down at her hands. They were shaking and covered in blood.

Everyone sat solemnly staring ahead. Trying to get their own thoughts in order and trying to erase the images and memories that seemed to be playing on a constant loop in their heads. Was it really only a few short hours ago they'd all been sitting there laughing and joking? It felt like a lifetime. She searched the faces of her section, they all had the same look of shock and confusion. This had to be a dream. It couldn't be reality. She was waiting for someone to tell her it was a joke. For him to pop up from the front of the truck and shout surprise. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be.

But he was. She'd had to be prised away from his limp, broken body. She'd watched them load him into the truck in a body bag. It didn't seem real though. She felt like she was an outsider looking in on her own life.

As the truck approached the security gates of the base she was vaguely aware of Captain James talking to them.

"Guys listen in, when we stop I want us all to head to the hangar for a debrief please". His tone was somber. He couldn't quite understand either what had just happened. How had this mission just gone so spectacularly wrong. He knew his men needed him. He knew he needed to give them some words of wisdom and comfort. But right now all he could think about, was seeing his best friend blown off the top of a building. He hoped some words came to him in the next few minutes because right now he was at a loss as to what to say to them.

The truck couldn't come to a stop soon enough. Her ears were still ringing from the explosion and her lungs were burning. She jumped down from the truck. She felt sick and was struggling to breathe making her think she might pass out. She started clawing at her neck trying to loosen her clothes. Anything to get air into her lungs.

She started walking quickly across the base, blocking out the shouts from her section in the process. She wasn't sure where she was going, the base wasn't exactly big but she needed to be alone. To get space between her and everyone else, before she completely fell apart and they all ended up with front row seats.

As she rounded the corner out of sight she broke into a run, not stopping until her legs gave way and her lungs hurt, collapsing onto the floor shaking. She could feel the lump rising in her throat and she thought she might vomit. But instead she screamed. To anyone else the scream wouldn't have seemed human, and even to her own ears it felt foreign. Then she felt the first tear fall down her face and once that tear broke free the rest followed in an unbroken stream as she let the grief wash over her.

…

Charles

He stood in the tent waiting for the section to assemble. Normally he would have been shouting at them to get a move on but he wasn't in any mood to rush them. Quite frankly the longer they took, the better. He still wasn't sure what to say to them.

He glanced over to check that they were actually making their way towards him when he caught sight of the truck that held Elvis' body. He watched as they carefully unloaded him. Spanner and Peanut, along with four Afghan soldiers carefully lowered him down and started to make their way to morgue. He felt the wave of nausea crash over him again and had to fight to swallow down the lump that was forming in this throat.

He was brought back to the present by the shout of "Attention" from King, as the guys trudged in front of him and lined up.

"Stand down lads" he muttered. He wasn't in the mood for formalities.

He stood looking at their tear stained faces. Each one of them a mixture of sadness, shock and confusion. They were looking at him expectantly. Hoping he'd say something to put their minds at ease but right now he was at a loss as to what to say that would comfort them. He felt numb. He couldn't believe what had just happened. How was Elvis dead? How could he comfort them when he knew this mission was fucked from the beginning. How could he tell them it was all going to be ok and it was all worth it when he wasn't even sure if he believed that anymore. Despite that though he had to separate personal and professional. He was always the one that said don't bring personal into the battlefield. He tugged at the curls at the back of his neck which allowed him a precious few seconds to put his own thoughts to the back of his mind, took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

"This mission, I think we can all agree, has been a nightmare from day one. We try and do our best and unfortunately, sometimes, it's just not enough. That being said though, I couldn't have asked for more on that operation. You gave everything. You're all fine soldiers and i'm incredibly proud of each and every one of you." He paused a second to regain his composure. "It's never easy losing a comrade. It's something you prepare for but never think will happen. With our job, death is always round the corner, always on our minds. We put ourselves in danger everyday but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I realise, that this might be the first time some of you have ever witnessed anything like this so please, if you feel you need to talk about it, come and find myself or King"

His voice started to crack. He wanted to say something, anything to rally them but his brain felt like a fog had descended on it. He just didn't have the words they needed. He knew exactly what he needed, and it wasn't to be stood in a tent faced with four devastated squaddies.

He looked over to King and caught his eye, jerking his head slightly signalling that he wanted a word with him.

They walked a little away from the lads. "Can you finish off please. I need to speak to the Major, and I'm gonna go and find Georgie. I'm worried about her."

King gave a small nod and smiled sympathetically to show he understood. "Sure thing boss". He new it was a front and that he needed some time to grieve in private. Charles just gave a small nod in return as he walked out the tent. He knew the lads were in capable hands with King. He'd definitely have more words of wisdom for them than him right now.

"Fellas, what we've just witnessed, well it's not easy to get your head round. No one would blame you if you're a bit fragged by it all. As Captain James said if any of you need to speak about what happened we have people here you can talk to. Now, I'd like you all to take some time out, recharge and try and come to terms with what happened. I know Elvis wasn't part of our section but it's still a shock when you lose one of your own" King finished.

"Sir"

"Yes Richards?"

"Is Georgie gonna be ok. I'm worried about her. She's not said a word since it happened". Maise knew her and Georgie hadn't seen eye to eye for the majority of this tour but she was genuinely concerned for her. Losing your fiancé like that was horrendous enough, having to witness it and knowing you could do nothing to help, well it didn't even really bear thinking about.

King wasn't entirely sure how to answer. He'd known Lane for a good few years now and he knew the history with Elvis. She was a great soldier and as a medic she would have lost a fair few people in her charge. There'd already been a few on this mission and it was par for the course but Elvis, well Elvis was different. Watching your fiancé die in front of you had to have an effect. And if he was being honest he was concerned for both Georgie and Captain James, who definitely hadn't been himself this whole tour, even before this had happened.

"She needs some time to process and grieve Richards, we all do" he sighed. "So let's give her a bit of space yeah? If you need anything urgent come and find me. Now double away. Go and get yourselves showered and changed"

"Sir" they all chanted in unison, as they turned and trudged off towards the sleeping quarters.

…

Charles

Charles strode quickly to his room. He wanted to be alone. He was struggling to keep his emotions in check. As soon as the door was closed he dumped his Bergen on the floor and threw his helmet against the wall. The anger that had been bottled up inside him for hours, now screaming to be released. He started pacing the room massaging the back of his neck. How the fuck did this happen?

The one person in the world he wanted to speak to wasn't here. He needed to be in her arms and hear her voice. She'd hold him and soothe him and tell him it would all be ok.

He sat down at the desk, got out his iPad and pressed call, desperately willing it to connect. The sound of it ringing out was deafening Where was she? He glanced at his watch. It was 6:30pm in Afghan. Which meant it was 11:00pm in the U.K. She was probably asleep. His heart sank the longer she didn't answer and he was just about to hang up when it connected.

There she was. Her beautiful face flooded the screen. He allowed himself to smile. His heart felt like it might burst.

"Well if it isn't my handsome husband. Sorry it took me a while to answer" she yawned. "I was half asleep. I've had a shit day running a tough PT session for a bunch of squaddies because they didn't have clue what I was talking about and were generally prattin' about. Fought' it was a good idea at the time, forgot I'd have to go with them" she said giggling as she rubbed her eyes to try and wake herself up and remove the sleep that had started to form.

"I'm really glad you called. I've missed you" She said with a small smile. She knew he'd now been deployed to Afghan on some covert mission with Elvis. He'd not gone into the specifics, although he had called and told her about azizi and how everything went to shit in the compound. She'd not spoken to him in the last 24 hours though so she was getting a little worried. The relief when she saw the screen light up with his name was undeniable.

Charles couldn't help it. Seeing her just made him realise how much he missed her and how much he needed her. He tried to hold it back but the emotion was too close to the surface and he couldn't stop the tears from falling from his eyes.

All Molly could do was watch as he fell apart on the screen in front of her. Her happiness at him ringing was quickly replaced with worry "Charles what's wrong. What's happened?" She said alarmed. This wasn't like Charles at all. He very rarely cried. In fact she could count on one hand the number of times she'd seen him cry.

"It's all gone to shit Molls. This whole operation. Everything. It was fucked from day one. He's gone. I can't believe it he's fucking gone"

"Who? Charles you're scarin' me now. Who's gone? What's goin' on?" She said panicked.

"Elvis. He's dead Molls. Elvis is dead". He managed to choke out.

Mollys mouth flew open in shock. Did she just hear right. Did her husband just say Elvis was dead?!

"What...what happened?" she stuttered as she stared at him in shock. It's all she could muster to say. Her brain was struggling to take in what he'd just said.

He looked down at his hands to avoid looking at her. It was too painful. He didn't think he'd be able to get the words out if he looked her in the eye. But he knew he needed to tell Molly what happened. His voice was thick with emotion as he struggled to recall the events of the last few hours.

"It was a mission with special forces. It was a last minute thing. After the op fucked up the other day they got some new Intel on where the guy was holed up. We weren't even supposed to be there Molls. If azizzi hadn't betrayed us the other day, we wouldn't have been there". He banged his fist on the table. "He fucking caused this".

She stared at him, wondering whether he was going to continue. When it became clear he wasn't, she gave him a gentle prompt. "Charles, go on" she said softly. She needed him to continue and to focus. She needed to know what happened.

He finally lifted his eyes to look at her. He looked so broken. She just wanted to reach through the screen and give him a hug, but she couldn't. She was thousands of miles away and it was breaking her heart that she couldn't comfort him.

"They must have been waiting for us. There must have been another mole. I don't know. We were ambushed the second we got there. They shot up the ANA truck. Nine dead. It's sheer luck our vehicle wasn't in front. We only just got out alive." He seemed as if he was in a trance. He was looking at her, but she wasn't really sure if he saw her. "We started clearing the compound, the usual drill, then Elvis and the lads appeared. They started taking out insurgents. I don't really know what happened next. We were moving through the compound checking it was clear. Elvis must have gone up to the roof. The next thing we hear on the radio is Elvis saying there's a suspected IED, then there was an explosion...and…. and... Elvis went flying off the building. He didn't even stand a chance. I saw him killed right in front of me Molls. I can't get the image out of my head. I keep seeing it on repeat. And Georgie. She saw it all too. She tried to save him. There was nothing we could do though, he was dead before we even got to him. I had to drag her away." He felt like a weight had been lifted off him, saying it out loud, but his sobs were coming thick and fast now. He wiped his eyes to try and compose himself but weeks of pent up emotion spilled out and the more he tried to stop, the more the tears fell.

"Oh my god Charles. I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry. " Tears were flowing from her own eyes now. She sat shell shocked by what he'd just told her. She knew that probably wasn't everything. She guessed he might have glossed over some of the finer details of the operation to spare her but even with the edited version she could picture it as if she'd been there. And her heart broke for Charles, and for Georgie. And the lads who'd had to witness it. More than anything she just wanted to reach out and give him a hug. Hold him in her arms and smooth his hair and tell him everything would be ok.

He choked back the tears "Do you know what it brought back memories of?"

She had a good idea but she didn't like to say. She shook her head "No, what?"

"You. When you got blown up in that minefield. Those few seconds when you didn't speak, and waiting to hear your voice through the radio, I thought my heart was actually going to stop. Then you spoke and said you were ok. But this time Elvis didn't speak. He never got back up Molls. He's gone. How can he be gone?" He looked so forlorn.

Charles put his head on the desk and sobbed into his arm. He wanted to be anywhere but in sodding Afghan right now. Molly felt completely helpless. There was nothing she could do to console him. The thought of him still out there made her sick to her stomach. She was hoping that the mission was over and he'd be coming home.

"I'm done Molls. I'm fucking done. I've lost too many people in Afghan. I can't do this anymore" he mumbled, his voice cracking.

She knew he needed to let it out. In his position it was tough. He couldn't show his grief to the lads. He had to be brave, strong, authoritative - the person they could rely on to help them all through this. But in the privacy of his room, on the phone to his wife, he allowed himself to cry and let his grief out.

She touched her hand to the screen, he did the same. It was the closest thing she could do to comfort him, even if it was nowhere near enough.

"What am I meant to say to Georgie Molls? How am I meant to console her?" He implored. He needed advice and he was hoping his wife would give him some. "I know nothing I say is going to make any difference, but I dunno I feel like Elvis would want me to… you know, make sure she's okay? Well as okay as she can be?"

Honestly Molly had no clue. She was struggling to comprehend that Elvis was dead. She wasn't his biggest fan but they'd come to a comfortable friendship and he was Charles' best friend. She knew this would devastate him. From some of the conversations she'd already had with him she knew his emotional state was fragile. Not like the Charles she knew and loved so she was genuinely worried about what news of his best friend's death would do to him.

"How is Georgie?"

"I don't know. She ran off when we got back to the base and I can't even go after her. What am I meant to say to her? I couldn't even give the guys some comfort" he said dejectedly. The tears appeared to have stopped, for now.

"Everyone deals with grief differently. Right now she'll probably be in shock so there's not a lot you can do. Just listen to her. She'll talk and open up when she's ready. She'll just appreciate you being there for her. I so wish I could be there for you both. I feel so helpless sat here thousands of miles away" she said sadly.

"I wouldn't want you out here Molls. I can't wait to leave this god forsaken country"

"Any news of when you'll be coming home?" She asked, hopeful that he'd say right away

"I think we have to go back to Nepal and finish up. Hopefully not too long though. Two weeks max i'd say." He managed a small smile as he thought of being reunited with his wife. " Look, I better go and find Georgie and check on everyone else. I'm not exactly being a good captain hiding in my room am I?" He groaned. He wasn't looking forward to the prospect of going finding Georgie.

"I love you" she added

"Ditto"

"Stay safe, and come back to me". She demanded.

"I will do". He kissed his fingers and touched them to her lips on the screen before he hung up. He stared at the blank screen for a few seconds before he wiped his hands over his face, gave his head a little shake and put his game face on. He didn't think he'd even begun to scratch the surface on his grief but having a cry with Molly helped enormously. He at least felt like he might be able to hold it together long enough to do his job for a little while. He had to check the rest of the section were ok and get them all home in one piece. He had time to worry about himself later.

…...

Georgie

She made her way back to the sleeping quarters and found herself staring at her reflection in the mirror in the shower block. She didn't recognize the person staring back at her. Her eyes were red and swollen, her face was blotchy and a mix of dried tears, snot and dirt and there was a permanent lump in her throat that made her feel like vomiting was only a few short breaths away. She glanced down at her hands and her clothes. They were covered in blood. Not her blood, maybe not even Elvis'. She couldn't be sure. It all happened so quickly. One minute she was treating the injured ANA soldiers, the next she was trying to revive Elvis. The memory came crashing back into her brain, and felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. She felt the wave of nausea wash over her, and she couldn't control the urge to vomit any longer.

She looked down at the blood stained clothes. They felt like they were seared to her skin. She clawed at them trying to get them off. She could feel the beginnings of a panic attack coming on. She couldn't get them off quick enough. Finally, after what felt like an eternity she was free of them. She dove into the shower and stood under the steady stream of water. She turned the temperature to scalding (or as hot as it would go, the showers weren't exactly amazing in Afghan). She wanted it to burn. She wanted to feel something…anything other than what she felt now, which was numb. She started to scrub her hands. She wanted to wash every trace of the day away. No matter how hard she tried every time she looked down she felt like they were still covered in blood. She scrubbed until they were raw and the water was running red. She wasn't actually sure if it was Elvis' blood she was washing away or her own at this point.

She slid down the wall of the shower until she was sitting on the floor, legs curled up to her chest hugging herself. As the water washed over her she began to cry again.

How could he die? It was Elvis. Her knight in shining armour. Always there to save the day. Indestructible. Except he wasn't. His broken and bloodied body was a testament to that.

Why was he even up there? Why didn't he run? Why didn't he ask for the signal to be blocked? Give himself a chance. There were too many questions that she was never going to get the answers too. She was angry, she wanted the answers to her questions but he'd gone and fucking left her and she'd never know. She would soon come to realise that she'd torture herself with the what ifs and whys of the situation for a long time to come.

The water had long stopped being hot and was now freezing cold. She had no idea how long she'd been in the shower. She knew she was shivering but she couldn't move. She just sat hugging herself, staring into space. Which is where Maisie found her.

"Georgie" she ventured softly, after a few moments of awkward hesitation. She didn't want to startle her.

She turned her head a fraction, blinked back the tears and looked at her. Maisie wasn't sure if she actually saw her or was looking right through her.

"Hey. Come on. Let's get you dry and dressed" she suggested as she pulled her to her feet and handed her a towel and fresh clothes.

She gently pushed her forwards into one of the bedrooms. She'd arranged with King for a private room for Georgie saying the last thing she needed was all the lads gawping at her wondering if she was ok or if she was gonna break down in tears. Luckily he'd agreed with her, and even commended her for being so thoughtful. Something she never thought she'd hear.

Georgie sat down on the bed and glanced around the room, a small frown crossing her face. "This isn't the bedroom" she croaked out. Her voice was hoarse from crying so much.

"I've got you a private room. Thought you could do with a break from those twats" she said smiling. "Think it could rival the Ritz don't you?" She joked.

Georgie gave her a grateful smile "Thanks Maisie"

"Come on. Get dressed before you freeze to death". She grimaced and cursed herself as soon as the words left her mouth. She had a right gob on her sometimes. She couldn't believe she'd just said something so insensitive. She glanced at Georgie who either hadn't heard her or was choosing to ignore her. Something she was grateful for.

As Georgie got herself dressed Maisie continued talking. She hated uncomfortable silences and tended to talk a lot when she was nervous. Georgie didn't seem to mind though and Maisie wasn't even sure if she was really listening.

"I've brought you some food too. You missed out earlier"

"I'm not hungry" Georgie muttered.

"I know but you need to eat". God when did she start sounding like the responsible one.

Georgie sat back down on the bed.

"I know it's shit what you're going through Georgie and I know there's nothing I can say to make it better but we're all here for you yeah. You ain't on you own, you know...if you wanna talk or anything" Maisie finished, looking at her mentor uncomfortably. This wasn't the sort of situation her training had prepared her for.

Georgie smiled at her gratefully. "I know. Thanks Maisie". Georgie knew her and Maisie hadn't exactly seen eye to eye and god knows the girl wound her up no end but she was grateful she came and found her. She probably would have sat in the shower all night otherwise.

Maisie stood up, "I'm gonna go and leave you to it but just shout if you want anything"

Georgie didn't respond. She just sat on the bed staring into space as Maisie closed the door behind her.

…

Charles and Georgie.

She was still sat on the bed in the exact same position Maisie had left her in 20 minutes earlier, when there was a knock on the door and Captain James entered.

She glanced up to look at him, subconsciously playing with the engagement ring that hung on her dog tags around her neck. She thought she was done crying but as soon as she saw his face she broke down. "I can't even talk about it" she sobbed.

He thought ringing Molly would have given him the outlet he needed for his own grief. He'd told himself that he'd only allow himself to cry in the comfort of his own room, in front of Molly. Because back out on the base he had to be the Captain and the one who rallied them and gave them the strength to get through the loss of a comrade, no matter how painful it was for him personally.

But the second he looked at Georgie he felt the tears spring to his eyes. She looked broken. And it broke his heart. He couldn't imagine sitting in her place if it had been Molly that had died. He had no clue what words would comfort him if the situation was reversed. She looked so vulnerable. He went and sat on the bed and put an arm round her, pulling her into a hug as she cried into his chest. And in that moment he allowed his own tears to fall as they wallowed in their shared grief.

It didn't matter that he was her Captain and that she was in his chain of command, in that moment they were just two friends who had lost a loved one.

As the tears subsided she pulled away from his chest and wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve.

"I'm sorry" she sighed

"For what?" He asked confused. He couldn't think what on earth she had to be sorry for.

"Not saving him. I'm a medic and I couldn't save him" she said as she put her head in her hands.

He looked at her in amazement. He couldn't believe she blamed herself "Georgie, don't do this to yourself. There's absolutely nothing you could have done to save him. There's nothing anyone could have done. Elvis knew the risks going onto that roof. You're a bloody good medic and don't ever forget it" he said tenderly

She smiled at him gratefully.

"It's just so unfair. I can't believe he's gone. There's so many things I should have said and done. Why didn't I forgive him sooner? I love him. I always have, even after everything he did. I wanted to punish him though for hurting me. I wanted him to feel pain like I did but all I've done is end up punishing myself. I could have spent the last two years being happy with him instead of the last 2 minutes. What am I meant to do now without him boss?" She said sadly, her voice cracking. He wasn't sure if she was genuinely asking him or just putting the question out there.

He wiped his own eyes and took a second to compose himself. He really wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to send her over the edge even further but he knew she needed some form of comfort.

"Georgie listen to me. Despite what happened with you and Elvis he knew you loved him. Even before yesterday. Don't ask me how. But he knew. Whenever we spoke he always said you were more than friends and it would never be simple between the pair of you. Honestly, I think he quite liked the challenge. Even when you were fighting like cat and dog he was adamant that you'd be together". He allowed a small smile to cross his face as he thought of some of the conversations they'd had. "I've known, well I knew" he corrected himself, "Elvis a bloody long time and I'd never known him to feel about anyone the way he felt about you. There was never anyone else for him. It was always you" he paused a little whilst he thought about what he wanted to say next.

"He died doing what he loved. And most importantly he died in love. And that's very special. He died happy because he knew you still loved him and he'd got you back. You know Elvis, he wouldn't want you to be sad. He'd want you to embrace life. He'll never be completely gone. He will live on inside of you, he'll live on inside all of us" he finished quietly.

He wasn't even sure if what he'd just said made sense, or was even a comfort to her but she gave him a small smile in appreciation nevertheless.

There was a knock on the door. "Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt but I wondered if you had a minute?" It was King.

Charles didn't say anything immediately, he just looked at Georgie. He didn't really want to leave her. That might have been more for selfish reasons though. He knew that behind this door he was able to let his own grief out. As soon as he stepped outside his walls would be up and he'd have to put it to the back of his mind. Especially if he wanted to complete the mission and make sure they all got home in one piece.

"Georgie I'm sorry I've got to ….."

She cut him off. "Go. It's ok. I'm fine, really"

"Are you sure?" He asked concerned.

Georgie wiped her eyes and took a deep breath

"Honestly I'm fine. You didn't even need to come and find me. But…..I'm grateful that you did. Thank you"

"I want you to try and get some sleep" he said gently.

"I'm fine boss"

"It's not a request Lane. It's an order. You look exhausted." He wished he could say more, do more even but he had responsibilities that he had to go and deal with, no matter how much he might not have really wanted to. He gave her a sympathetic smile as he closed the door behind him.

She lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. Her whole body ached and it felt like she'd been hit by a truck. She was willing sleep to come, but every time she closed her eyes she saw his face. She was pretty certain the image would haunt her for a lifetime.

…

The day after

There was a small moment when she woke up where she forgot the horrors of the day before. Where she thought it was all just a bad dream and she'd actually woken up in Elvis' bed like the previous morning. Then she looked down at the dog tags round her neck and saw the engagement ring, then it hit her. She wasn't engaged, there would be no wedding, no happily ever after and it was just as painful as if it happened all over again. She closed her eyes tight to try and forget but all she saw was Elvis's burned and bloodied face. He eyes flew open and her breath caught in her throat. She felt like hands were round her throat strangling her and she struggled to breath. Then the tears started again. She'd cried so much over the last 24 hours she almost wasn't aware when she was doing it. But she could feel the hot tears as they rolled down her cheeks and the saltiness as they splashed her lips and no matter how much she tried to stop, it didn't work, she just cried harder, remembering that a future with Elvis was no longer possible.

And she knew it was irrational. They'd only been back together for a very short time before he was cruelly taken away from her. But it was like the saying goes, you don't know what you've got until it's gone. She regretted all the time she spent hating him. Why was she so stubborn? She loved him. She always had. Even after everything he'd done that love had never gone away. Not really. She'd buried it, deep down, to protect herself from being hurt, although a fat lotta good that did, but truly she'd always known he was the love of her life. Fate was cruel. But then she should have expected it. Their job wasn't easy, his especially. Death was always round the corner. And, she was the one who said she didn't want him to give it all up for her. But it didn't make the pain any more bearable.

The images were playing on a loop in her head, no matter how hard she tried to think of literally anything else. She just kept seeing him being blown from the building, and lying there broken and lifeless. She'd seen dead bodies before, but this, this was different. She felt guilty, and powerless that there was absolutely nothing she could have done to save him. She was torturing herself with what ifs and the fact they shouldn't have even been there. Would this have happened if Azizi hadn't betrayed them back in Omar's compound? If the original operation had gone to plan this might not have happened. Elvis might still be alive.

And she was angry. Angry that they'd taken away the love of her life. That they'd robbed a little girl of her father. And for what? What had they actually achieved. Omar was still on the run, as was De chand. Fara was missing, wandering the streets of Pakistan with god knows who. They hadn't solved anything. They'd lost 12 ANA soldiers, 1 of their own and 2 of the section had injuries. One last mission is what Elvis had said. Well fuck the one last mission. She could feel the nausea rising inside her again.

She bolted out of the room, she needed some fresh air. Walking out into the Afghan sun she took a deep breath and let the warm air wash over her. It was only 6am but the heat was still stifling. She started walking aimlessly across the base. She wasn't sure where she was headed too but when she looked up a few minutes later she found herself stood outside Elvis' room. Her hand hovered over the door handle, unsure whether she wanted to enter or not. But her brain was on autopilot and before she had a chance to decide whether it was a good idea she found she'd turned the handle and was stood inside the room with the door closed behind her. She went and sat on the bed. She couldn't believe yesterday morning she'd woken up in this bed, with Elvis. How could things be so different in 24 hours?

She glanced around the room. It was devoid of anything personal. The only reminder he'd been there was the crumpled sheets on the bed, some papers on the desk and his kit bag in the corner. It was surreal that his stuff was there but he wasn't.

She wandered over to the desk and flicked through the papers on his desk. Other than a few letters it was nothing of any major importance, then she came across the bundle of photos. The first picture that was staring up at her was of a little girl. She had big brown eyes and long shiny brown hair. Laura. Georgie just stared at the picture. She was gorgeous. A total mini Elvis.

She thumbed through them carefully. She felt like she was intruding on his life. There were more of Laura, some of his parents then she froze. There was a picture of her and Elvis. It was from their engagement party. It used to be one of her favourite pictures of the two of them. They didn't even know it had been taken. They were snuggled into each other. Elvis was kissing her hair as she leant into him. She had the biggest smile on her face. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, threatening to spill over once more. She thumbed through the rest of the pictures. There were more of her and Elvis, around 20 in total. She couldn't believe Elvis took pictures of her on tour with him. Clutching them to her chest she let the tears springfree and fall down her cheeks.

She cried for the moments they wouldn't share together, how there'd never be any new pictures of them and how this is all she had as a reminder of their past life. There would be no second chance for them.

She didn't hear the door open. "Georgie" the voice said softly.

She jumped to her feet and spun round. Spanner was stood there.

"Shit. Sorry,. I didn't mean…"

He held his hands up to placate her "Georgie it's ok. Are you alright?" He said, his voice etched with concern. He wasn't expecting to find her in Elvis' room.

"Yeah" she said as she put the pictures down on the desk, and wiped her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" He asked uncertainly.

She shrugged her shoulders "I don't know really. I was just wandering round the base and ended up here. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here" she muttered as she made a move towards the door.

"No it's alright. Stay" He walked over to her and looked down at the pictures she'd thrown on the desk.

"You know, he took them everywhere with him. They came on every mission" he said with a small smile.

"Really?" She asked, unable to hide the surprise in her voice.

"Yep. He never went anywhere without them. Said it reminded him of home and when things were a bit shit it reminded him of happier times"

She couldn't say anything, she just stood looking at the pictures as she gently traced her finger over his face staring up at her.

"Georgie. I'm so sorry." He put his arm round her shoulder and pulled her into a hug, as she wept on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry too. How are you guys holding up?" She said wiping her eyes as she pulled away.

"Ok I guess. I don't know. It doesn't really feel real. I keep thinking he's going to appear and that it's all just a cruel joke"

"I know what you mean. I feel like I'm going to wake up and discover it was just a bad dream" she said dejectedly. "Anyway what are you doing here?" She said, quickly changing the subject.

He looked sadly round the room. "I was just coming to square his kit away. We're shipping out of here later today".

"Back to the U.K?" She queried

"Yeah, we're escorting his body back" he said glumly.

"Well I'm glad he won't be going back alone" she said, offering a small smile in appreciation. "Do you want any help? You know packing his things away?"

"There isn't much really. It won't take long. But I'd be glad of the company if you want to stay?"

"Thanks. Not sure I can face leaving just yet" she said sadly.

He nodded his head in agreement. He got it. Although it wasn't much it was the one place where they could feel close to Elvis.

…..

The mess hall

As she left Elvis' room and made her way across the base she felt a knot in her stomach, which she was pretty sure was anxiety. She was on her way to find the rest of her section. She'd not spoken to them since it happened and she knew they would mean well but she really didn't want to field questions and relive it. She'd spent all night and the best part of the morning crying. She wasn't actually sure she had any more tears left in her right now. She just wanted to focus on something else, if only for a little while.

As she walked into the hall all eyes turned to face her. She made her way over to them, already on the defensive in case she needed to shut down any talk of Elvis or how fucked up the whole situation was. Brains was first to speak.

"Hey Georgie. Come on I've got a spot right here for ya" he smiled, as he gestured at the empty seat next to him.

She let out a visible sigh of relief and offered up a small smile to them as she made her way over to the table and sat down next to Brains. She glanced around the table. Everyone was sat with their head down, no one wanted to look in her direction or speak. She could understand why. If it was the other way round she probably wouldn't know what to say either. She thought she might as well take the plunge and get any awkwardness out of the way.

"Look, what happened yesterday, I can't even get my head round it. I feel like it's playing on a constant loop and I still can't make any sense of it. And I'm sure you guys are exactly the same. But I've spent the last 24 hours crying and I just want to try and forget for a bit so can we please just talk about anything other than yesterday?"

They all nodded in agreement.

"Course Georgie. Just you know, we're here if you need us" said Brains.

"I know. Thanks"

"So do you think the Captain's gonna tell us we're heading home then?" Asked Fingers optimistically.

"Hopefully. I'm done with this Afghan grime man. I've showered four times and the waters still grey" joked Monk.

"Doubt that's gonna happen. We're probably gonna be heading back to Nepal?" Brains jumped in.

"You reckon?" Questioned Fingers.

"Yeah. We were only here for the mission weren't we. Reckon we've still got another couple of weeks in Nepal until decompression then home"

"I don't care where we go as long as we leave this bloody country" Georgie muttered.

Georgie clocked Captain James, followed by King enter the mess hall and nudged Fingers to stand to attention. The others soon followed suit.

"Relax, relax guys". It was captain James

They sat back down. He glanced at them. They looked broken. Exhausted. He wasn't exactly sure how his next statement was going to go down.

"King and I have been talking and we think that the best thing is to divide into two units. One heading straight back to the UK. The other finishing off the prefabs in Nepal". Georgie gave a small shake of her head.

"The Nepal team will be myself, Fingers and Brains. Those heading back to the U.K will be , Georgie, Maisie, Monk and Sergeant King"

He'd barely had a chance to finish before Georgie spoke up. "We request to stay as one unit boss".

"Well someone has to go back to Nepal and supervise Lane, and Square away the Kit".

"Then we all go sir. We're a team. We don't want to split up. We stick together. We want to finish the job we set out to do...boss". She wasn't sure if the rest of the section would thank her for speaking for them but they all seemed to nod in agreement behind her thankfully.

He regarded them all carefully, before glancing at King who gave a small shrug of his shoulders and nod of his head.

"Very well then. The truck to take us to the air base will be leaving at 15:00 hours so go square away your kits" he ordered, as he turned to leave.

"Boss". Georgie called, as she got up from the table and made her way over to him.

"Could I have a quick word?"

"Sure. King I'll catch up with you in a bit"

"No problem boss."

He turned back to Lane, a small frown appearing on his brow "Is everything ok?" He asked, his voice full of concern.

"Yeah. Yeah fine. It's just. I was wondering, before we leave, if I could go and see him?"

"You want to go to the morgue?" He asked incredulously "Are you sure that's a good idea Georgie?"

She shrugged her shoulders. She was fighting to hold back the tears. He could see she was struggling.

"I don't know but I want to say goodbye" she said sadly.

She could see him thinking it over.

"Please boss"

"Look, I'm not going to stop you if that's really what you want to do but have it noted that I don't think it's a good idea" he sighed.

She gave a small nod in appreciation.

"Just make sure everything's squared away before then and be out in the yard for 14:45".

"I will be. Thanks boss"

He stood with his arms folded as he watched her walk away. Georgie was certainly braver than him. He wasn't sure he could handle seeing Elvis. He didn't want his last image of him to be in the morgue in Afghan, although it couldn't be much worse than the image that constantly played in his head. He took a deep breath and gave his head a little shake. He couldn't wait to leave Afghan. The country was seriously fucked up. The sooner he could get them all out of there the better. He strode out of the hall and down the corridor with purpose as he headed to find Spanner and make sure all the plans were finalised for Elvis' final flight home.

Saying goodbye

She sat outside waiting for them to tell her it was ok to go in, playing nervously with the sleeve of her jumper. When she'd asked Captain James earlier she'd thought it was a good idea to go and see Elvis but now she was sat waiting outside the morgue in the hospital corridor, her hands were shaking and she felt the wave of nausea creep up on her. Did she really want to do this? No one was making her, but she thought she owed it to herself, and to him, to say goodbye. There was so much she hadn't had the chance to say, and even if she knew he couldn't hear her she still felt like she needed to say it. Besides, she knew there was a good chance she was going to miss the funeral because she didn't know when she'd be back from Nepal.

"We're ready. You can come in now". The voice made her jump, bringing her back to the present.

She gave the mortuary assistant a cursory nod as she stood up, took a deep breath and swallowed down the lump in her throat. Walking gingerly into the room her legs were shaking and her heart was pounding in her chest. She'd seen dead bodies before, too many times, but never someone close to her.

As she approached the body, she wasn't sure what she was expecting but she was slightly taken aback by his appearance. She was expecting to see his face as she'd been picturing it for the last 24 hours. Bruised and bloodied. That's what she'd been gearing herself up for. But they'd cleaned him up a bit and although there were a few injuries around his face he looked...peaceful. Almost as if he was just asleep. She wanted to shake him awake and tell him to stop playing this cruel joke on her, but she'd seen him hit the ground from the top of that building in front of her own eyes and she knew, straight away, he wasn't coming back from that. He was gone, no matter how desperately she wished it wasn't true.

She'd promised herself she'd try not to cry but there was no way she was able to keep the tears from falling, as she gently reached out to stroke the hair from his eyes, letting her fingers trace down his face in the process. She bit on her bottom lip, choking back a sob that threatened to overcome her. Her lungs were burning and she felt like she couldn't breathe as she sat there silently sobbing.

The guy said she could have as long as she wanted but now she was here she wasn't sure what she wanted to say or even why she'd wanted to come. Her mind was drawing a blank as she stared at him, except it wasn't really him anymore- was it?.

"What am I meant to do without you Elvis?" She asked quietly, pausing as if she was waiting for a response, although she knew none would come. Maybe she'd finally gone mad, after all she was sitting there talking to herself. "How could you go and leave me? After everything...you promised. You stood out there and promised you'd never let me down… you promised." She choked on her words as a sob caught in her throat. "And you did. You went and died on me! How is that bloody fair? You can't propose to me a second time and make me think we're going to have a life together and then go and leave me!. It doesn't work like that. You don't get to leave me again." Her sobs were coming thick and fast now. It was as if she'd turned on a tap and couldn't stop it. She was surprised she'd even got any tears left to cry but they were still pouring down her face. She could feel the hurt and anger pouring out of her as she collapsed onto the chair at the side of the table, and sobbed into her arm.

When the sobbing finally subsided she lifted her head up to look at him. "I'm sorry"' she mumbled. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that your little girl now has to grow up without a dad. And most importantly I'm sorry that I didn't forgive you sooner. I wanted to punish you for hurting me. I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt again but all I've done is stopped myself from being happy. We could have been happy these last two years couldn't we?" She wasn't sure if she was now apologising to Elvis or justifying her actions to herself. "I convinced myself I was over you and that I didn't love you anymore. But I was wrong. Thank you for being so persistent. And not giving up on me. Sorry I didn't trust you enough to let you back in sooner" she whispered, her lip quivering as she tried to stop herself crying again.

She let out a small laugh to herself. "You've fucked up my life in unimaginable ways Elvis but I don't think I'd have it any other way. I'm so glad I met you. Thank you for always being my knight in shining armour, even if I wasn't alway grateful at the time. I'm definitely gonna have to take care of myself now you're not there to have my back aren't I?" She joked.

"I'm sorry we don't get our second chance. I'm grateful that we at least got one last night together though and that you died knowing that I do love you, and that I've always loved you. Despite everything it's always been you. Sleep tight baby"

She knew her time was nearly up. The truck would be here soon and they needed to prep him for transport.

She gently kissed her fingers and placed them on his lips, as her tears spilled down onto his face. Remembering the bundle of pictures she'd brought with her from his room she opened his hand and placed them in it. "This way we'll always be with you. You'll never be alone."

….

As she was waiting for their truck to be loaded up she watched as Elvis' body was brought out and placed into the truck taking him to the airbase. Herself, along with the rest of her section and some members of the ANA who were in the area, followed Captain James' lead in saluting the body and bowing their heads in honour. She'd done this a few times before but doing it for Elvis just felt surreal.

She was busy preparing her kit and making sure she had everything, that she didn't notice spanner was stood behind her until he tapped her on the shoulder.

"Bloody hell you have a habit of creeping up on people don't you! She laughed. "No wonder you're in special forces"

"Sorry" he laughed. "I just have something that I wanted to give you before we left"

"Okay?!" she said skeptically

He opened up his hand to reveal Elvis' dog tags.

"His dog tags?"

"Yeah. I think he'd want you to have them"

She reached out for them, he could see the tears glistening in her eyes. "Thank you" she said sincerely as she clutched hold of them tightly.

"I have something else too". He handed her the letter.

In the event of my death please give this letter to Corporal Georgie Lane! "Is this what I think it is? She said alarmed

He nodded solemnly.

She was shocked. She had no idea Elvis would write his death letter to her.

"Th...thanks" she stumbled. There's no way she could read it now. She wasn't emotionally ready to read what was in that letter. She tucked it away into the front pocket of her Bergen. "I'm not going to read that now...I can't" she said by way of an explanation.

"I understand. I don't blame you"

She looked over to the truck before turning back to Spanner.

"Take care of him"

"I will do"

She pulled him into hug, before he walked off ready to escort Elvis' body home.

She put on her helmet and climbed into the truck. She was grateful to leave Afghan. She never wanted to step foot in the country again. As she sat looking out the back of the truck she clutched his dog tags. With one last glance around the base she let the tears fall as the memories of what had happened played out and she said goodbye. Charles was sitting next to her. He gave her a gentle nudge. "Are you ok?" He asked delicately

She gave a small smile. "I will be boss. I will be" she said as the truck rumbled out of the base towards the airfield, never to darken Afghans door again.