It's nearly daybreak by the time we get there. I've given him back the coat.
He insists he's not above hiding in dumpsters, but still.
It's pretty fucking cold out here.
Unsurprisingly, the door is locked and we are, in fact, climbing through the window. My dad would be so proud.
Technically it's still considered breaking and entering even if the window didn't suffer THAT much damage.
I'm the first one in, it's an empty lobby but fuck, I don't think it's going to be empty for very long. I'm shaking, but not just from the cold. It's not the prospect of doing something illegal that bothers me, it's the prospect of getting CAUGHT.
It's still only me in here.
"Why aren't you coming in?"
"Invite me."
"Oh. Come in?"
He climbs through the window. The horizon's turning pink, there's no going back now.
But we didn't come here to think.
The first door through the lobby isn't locked. On the other side, cages and cages of dogs.
Maybe it's the lighting, maybe it's the cells, but this place looks like a fucking hellscape. I may not be Gunther's best friend but I feel bad that he was here once.
Most of the dogs are sleeping, but there's one or two that growl or whine as we walk by.
"I take it you're not a dog person either," I say to Keith.
"I used to be."
"Well, I never was."
The cages all have chain link doors. Good thing that will only burn ONE of us. I don't have anything to pick a lock, though.
We round a corner, and there's Hunk and Lance, side by side in pens, Hunk with his face in his hands and Lance waving at us sheepishly.
Scrap-ass naked.
"Heyyyyyy….."
I'm not watching this shit.
"Okay, stand back," I hear Keith say. "I'm gonna break down the doors, and then we're getting out of here."
What, are we gonna run around town like THIS? What the fuck were any of us thinking?
All we need now is for the dog warden to come in.
And then the dog warden comes in.
There's silence for a full ten seconds before Lance says something.
"We're doing a kink scene. We broke in to do a kink scene."
Pretty sure I hear several facepalms around me.
The warden reaches for a phone.
I am… probably going to get arrested today. If my parents hear about this… at least they'll be glad they sent condoms.
This would be a great time for a miracle.
The sound of the door echoes through the hall. Suddenly the odd barks and whines quiet down.
"Hi, everyone," Shiro smiles winningly across the way, as if nothing illegal was going on. He turns to the dog warden. "I hope you'll excuse my friends. You see, I run a support group for disturbed youth…"
"No, Shiro, this is a kink scene," Lance hisses.
The warden backs away.
"No can do… the police have to hear about this…"
"No they don't, it's okay," Shiro says, in a way that sounds strangely believable.
The warden relaxes.
"I suppose you're right…"
"Of course." He hands the warden some papers. "You'll want these later."
The man doesn't even look at them.
"Thanks."
"Would you mind unlocking them?"
The warden does it without a word.
Jesus fuck, what did Shiro DO to him?
"Well, we have to head off now," Shiro says.
"Can I have a hug before you go?"
I think my jaw actually dropped just now. Lance is laughing.
"Sure," Shiro pulls the guy in. The warden looks like he's about to cry.
And Keith looks a little put off.
Whatever's going on here, I'm sure Shiro is the best paramedic out there.
"Well THAT guy was easy," I hear Lance say as the warden leaves.
"For SHIRO, not for you," Keith snorts.
"Yeah, what's HIS problem?" Hunk asks.
"You know it's not my place to talk about that," Shiro says. "But yeah, he has issues."
I don't really care what's so funny about all this.
"You guys didn't bite anyone, did you?" I ask.
"Ugh, I don't remember anything after the tranq darts coming out," Hunk groans.
"Oh, shit."
"You should stay with us for a bit in case they have any residual effects," Shiro says.
Yeah, that would be a hard situation to explain to any other professional. Or your mom.
Shiro's brought a blanket for each of our naked friends and one for the resident vampire. This is gonna be an interesting trip home.