Hi eveyone. Thank you for your lovely support of The Christmas One Shot challenge and for Chevy's great Alternate View. We are now delighted to bring you this wonderful story from Blackwater. So, sit back, hide, go wherever er you have to go and find 5 minutes piece, and enjoy. :-)

Family Portrait

By Blackwater11

April 2012

Belinda stared unblinkingly up at the bedroom ceiling while her eyes, red rimmed and gritty with exhaustion, traced the edges of a patch of peeling wallpaper that had been cast in eerie shadow by the glow of the bedside lamp next to the bed. The paper had become so pale and worn with age that Belinda had trouble remembering what its original colour actually was. The house was blissfully silent. The kids were all asleep and Dave was god knows where; probably out pissing away his doll money. Yet, despite the late hour, she couldn't get her nut to stay quiet enough to let sleep claim her even though she knew Martin would soon wake, desperate for another feed.

Propped herself up into a sitting position, Belinda reached for her phone, her fingers hovering uncertainly over the green button that would connect her call. She knew she shouldn't. She was only torturing herself and leaving herself open to more anger and grief from Dave. But Belinda couldn't help it. She had to hear her say it again. Just one more time. Taking a shaky breath, Belinda connected the call and held the phone to her ear. Within seconds, she heard the familiar yet choked voice of her eldest daughter and the crushing ache that had resided in her chest ever since she'd been forced to disown Molly returned.

"Mum it's only me, I just wanted to hear your voice…. And I just wanted you to know that I love you. You will come to passing out won't you mum? Please come caz it's a big deal." Belinda closed her eyes as she detected the strain of false conviction in Molly's voice; the tell-tale sign that she was fighting back the tears. However, it was hearing Molly's voice crack and break as she desperately pleaded with her to come to passing out that was Belinda's undoing. As the call ended, Belinda's grip on the phone slackened and it fell onto the bed. Letting her head fall limply into her hands, Belinda sagged boneless against the wall and, curling herself into a ball, she finally let herself feel. Belinda's body wracked with sobs and her hands shook as she bit her knuckles in a bid to quieten her sobs. The crippling feelings of loneliness, despair and shear helplessness seemed to bleed all the warm from what remained of her splintered heart until it felt as though only ice remained flowing through her veins. Wave after wave of grief crashed through Belinda leaving her feeling as though she was lost at sea; torn violently from her mooring with nothing left to tether her or guide her safely back to land.

All around her, the night's shadows lengthened and seemed to loom threateningly along the walls, tricking Belinda's conflicted mind into believing they were fragments of lost memories. Like ghosts, the wispy shadows materialised into memories of a happier, more carefree time: Molly- with her brow creased in concentration and determination- taking her first unsteady steps into the world before falling into Belinda's waiting arms; A beaming Molly sat atop Dave's shoulders- her eyes alight with wonder and joy -as she took in the sights and sounds of her first Hammers game; Molly who- at no more than 5 years old- giggled wildly as she rolled down the hill in Central Park in an attempt to show a dubious Jade that there was nothing to fear about trying something new. The shadows along the walls continued to shift and spin, making Belinda feel as though she was on a merry- go- round with no way of getting off. Now a slightly older and wearier Molly materialised on the walls huddled at the foot of her bed as she tenderly tucked her siblings under the covers, her arms wrapped tightly around Bella whist she whispered soothing words of nonsense into her ear in order to drown out the sounds of Belinda and Dave screaming at each other from below.

Molly always was the strongest of all the little bleeders. Even then, she bit her lip and tucked her head into Bella's hair as she fought to quieten her own broken sobs so as not to scare or panic her siblings further. Never one to show any weakness or to back down from a fight, Molly was everything Belinda wasn't; Brave, fiercely loyal, strong and ultimately fearless with an independent streak that ran the entire length of the Themes. But Belinda wasn't fooled. Underneath the false bravado, lay a fragile, beautiful girl who just wanted love and approval from her family. She was still her little girl who wanted the reassurance that she was doing the right thing. Belinda wished now that she had been strong enough she give it to her. She feared now was too late.

Giving herself a mental shake, Belinda heaved herself to her feet and watch the shadows disperse as she shuffled quietly from the room to make her way downstairs. Stifling a yawn, she flicked on the kitchen light and jumped in fright when she saw Dave squinting up at her from where he sat nursing a beer at the kitchen table. "Jesus Dave, you nearly gave me a Sean Connery. What the bleedin' 'ell are you doin' sat there in the dark. Did u forget to pay the electric again?" Belinda's hand flew to rest on her frantically beating heart as she filled up the kettle before lowering herself in a chair opposite him. "No. What you doin' down 'ere?" Dave mumbled as his grubby fingers played with the ring pull on top of the can.

"I couldn't sleep. Thought a cuppa might help," Belinda replied quietly, her eyes refusing to meet his. There was a long awkward pause and Belinda could feel the gulf that had existed between them, ever since Molly came home for R and R, widen even further. How did things get this bad between them? Neither seemed to have the energy nor the inclination to end this bitter feud that had been bubbling away under the surface for months, rendered their relationship nearly toxic. Belinda was tired of fighting; exhausted to the bone.

"You not getting any kip wouldn't have anythin' to do with not tellin' me about this now would it?" Belinda looked up to see Dave clutching a large brown envelope. He pulled out several pieces of A4 paper, the folds now smoothed flat from the number of times Belinda had re-read them. On top on the pile, lay a picture of Molly in her passing out uniform, her posture ram rod straight with her rifle slung against her shoulder and her face alight with pride and joy. She looked so grown up. Belinda couldn't remember when she had last seen Molly look so happy.

"I thought we agreed not to see that selfish mare anymore. What's she doin' writing to us? Wants to come crawling back does she? Finally seen the light?" Belinda remained quiet for a few minutes wondering how to broach the subject as she watched Dave clamber unsteadily to his feet and lumber his wave over to the bin, Molly's letter crumpled in his clenched fist. "She didn't choose us Belinda. She's made that perfectly clear." With each word he spoke, Dave tore through the pieces of paper in his hands until they were nothing but confetti fluttering into the bin. He turned and reached for the photo but Belinda stopped him by placing a hand firmly on top of his.

"Don't." Belinda didn't raise her voice but spoke quietly yet firmly as she moved the photo out of his reach. After a pause, Belinda began talking quietly. "I went to see her you know…..Molls."

"You did what? How could you do that?" Dave could barely control his rage. His face colouring an ugly red whilst his eyes narrowed into angry slits. Belinda met his gaze head on as she continued regardless of her husband's anger. "How could I do that? How could we do that Dave?" Belinda's voice had gotten steadily louder as she watched Dave's face cloud with confusion.

"What you on about?" Belinda's laugh was nearer a bark of utter disbelief, her face morphing into the steely look that Dave knew all too well. It was the same look Molly got when she'd made up her mind about something and nothing and nobody was going to change it.

"I had to see 'er Dave. Did you know she's completed her basic training and has moved on to the next phase? Our little girl could be going off to fight in a bleedin war and I didn't want her goin' off thinking we didn't care about her. The Army ain't like one of them games off the Xbox where if you get shot and killed you get to have another go. If you make a mistake out there it could be fatal or did you miss that news report from Brize Norton where all them coffins of those poor soldiers were being flown home?" Dave opened his mouth but no sound came out. Belinda wasn't deterred however and kept going, having finally gathered the courage needed to say what she had been longing to say for months.

"What if that were our Molls? Can you honestly say you'd feel nothing if you ever got that phone call? If anything were to happen to her can you truly live with yourself knowing your last words to her were full of hate an' distain? Caz I know I can't. She's our baby girl. She's my baby girl and I let you push her aside and for what? Because she didn't want to go ahead with one of your stupid schemes? She wanted more from her life Dave and what did we do? Instead of supporting her and telling her we loved her like we should have done, we turned our backs when she needed us the most."

"It's not fault she's a stubborn mare."

"Who the bloody hell do you think she got it from? We raised her to speak her mind and be independent, what do you expect?" The two of them stared at each other silently as they tried to figure out the mess they both had a hand in creating.

"I won't let my baby die thinking we don't love her Dave. You need to fix it," Belinda spoke softly as if afraid to shatter the fragile truce between them.

"What if I don't know how?" Belinda sighed as she stared at her husband. For the first time in a long time, Belinda allowed herself to truly look at her husband. The years hadn't been kind to him. With his unkempt hair and stubble, eyes rimmed with dark circles and puffy from too much drink, Dave looked far older than his 44 years.

"All you can do is try Dave. Just promise me you'll try. Please."

June 2014

Belinda looked up from her ironing upon hearing the gentle click of the front door. Seconds later, Dave comes shuffling down the stairs, still in only his pants and with his dressing gown trailing behind him. Oblivious to his state of undress, Dave followed his daughter out onto the balcony and watched worriedly as she disappeared through the alleyway. Coming to stand quietly next to Dave, she handed him a fresh cuppa and together they stood and stared out across London as the city came to life in the early morning.

"Our girl will be alright you know," Belinda muttered quietly as Dave turned to look at her, a question in his eyes. "Molly and the lads will get through this together. It's bound to be tough losing one of their own after growing so close but the boys are a good bunch. They'll look after Molly today, just like they did at the funeral. I know it."

"Oh yeah and what about this posh bloke of hers? What's his name… Chester is it? Will he be there for her an' all or is he just like the rest of em?" Belinda smiled at the accusatory tone, knowing that, deep down, it was coming from a place of love. "Charles," Belinda muttered, making sure to stress his name correctly, whilst throwing him a pointed look, "Will be there at the memorial with the rest of them. He's doin' a reading like what he did for Smurf's brother. Poor sod, havin' to do that twice. Those poor boys' Mother. It don't bear thinking about. Losing them both like that. Don't worry Dave. Charles an' the boys will make sure she gets home alright today. I know it."

"How? You haven't bleedin' met him yet."

"Caz he's different than the others. You can tell by the way Molly is when she talks about him. I think she's serious about this one." Dave didn't say anything, just started stubbornly down at his feet.

"Yeah well he better…..or else." Belinda laughed aloud as she took his arm and lead him back into the house.

"Or else what? You'll take him on? Be serious Dave. The man's a trained killer and could beat you hands down on his worst day and with his leg still in his boot. You don't have to worry. Molly is in safe hands. Besides, she's brave enough to take care of herself….she's got a medal to prove it an all now ain't she."

Shaking his head, Dave followed Belinda back into the house towards the kitchen but not before stopping to take a quick look at the latest addition to the photo wall. There they all stood together beaming with pride after Molly's medal ceremony inside Buckingham Palace. The family had finally come full circle. They weren't perfect by any means: They still argued with each other most days, not a day goes by that at least one door isn't slammed in someone's face; they were still a little rough around the edges, still learning to get along with each other as they once did; they were all a little bit broken after all they had suffered but, ultimately, and perhaps more importantly the family were all still whole.