I have never needed an ice cream so badly. It's a quiet thing for processing.

Shiro's gotten me one, and he's gotten one for himself, too. I didn't actually know he was one to eat food. Maybe he knows how awkward I'd feel eating alone.

"I can't stand strawberry ice cream that has chunks in it," I say.

"Texture thing?"

"Yeah." I look over. "You probably knew that already."

"Yeah, I did."

Of course he did.

"How's your hand?"

"Which one?" he grins.

What's great about Shiro's jokes is that he never gets offended if you laugh at the wrong one. But I don't think this is a wrong one anyway.

"It's fine," he adds with a nod.

I guess I can believe that. This is a guy who shrugs off werewolf bites.

But I still feel bad about it.

It's pretty nice out, though a bit colder than usual for getting ice cream. There aren't too many birds in the park today.

"So… angel?"

"Yes."

There's a very blatant question on my mind but something tells me not to ask it.

"You've never talked about that," I say instead.

"Do you have questions?"

That aren't offensive? Maybe.

"Why DON'T you talk about it?"

Crap. Was that something I shouldn't have asked, too?

"Because," he says at last. "I'm not proud of everything."

"What's there not to be proud of?"

"Well. I had a charge." He clears his throat. "I still HAVE a charge. But I… didn't quite come through for him."

His biggest disgrace.

"Keith?"

"Yeah."

"So does that make you a guardian angel?"

"Not anymore, according to the people upstairs. But you can call me whatever you want."

"What does Keith call you?"

"Old," Shiro smirks.

That gets a laugh out of me.

"My dad looks WAY older than you," I say.

"I remember when he was BORN."

"Okay, it's kinda weird when you put it that way."

He's the one to laugh this time.

"So, does everybody have an angel? Because I sure haven't seen that many around."

"Well we don't usually spend much time on the surface."

"But you're here."

"Because I broke the law."

"What law?"

"Angels only get assigned to humans. If a charge gets tainted, you're supposed to abandon them. Under strict penalty."

"What is it?"

"I'm not allowed back."

I have a guess as to how they enforce that.

"Don't worry about it," he says. "I knew what I was getting into."

Still though.

I probably shouldn't ask but I'm dreadfully curious.

"How did they do it?"

"With a golden sword."

Is that where the scar on his face came from, too?

"Really, don't worry about it," he says again. I guess I look pretty worried.

"I just... didn't know you gave up so much for this."

He smiles a bit.

"Well, who needed me more, a being who presides over the entire world, or a kid who's lost his right to an angel?"

I knew there was a reason I liked Shiro from the beginning.

"You must be the best one."

He's not really smiling anymore.

"Another angel might have saved him."

"But would they have STAYED?"

He shrugs and pretends he's interested in his ice cream cone.

I do have to say, this place does an excellent peanut butter swirl. Just enough salt, and a uniform consistency.

There's an image forming in my head.

A body in four pieces, blood nowhere but its face. An angel with a golden sword, so bright it could have killed a vampire by its light alone.

They're in the street and the night is cold.

He died in Shiro's arms.

"Supernatural accident," I say without meaning to.

Shiro looks sad.

"He was scared. He didn't know what he was doing."

He'd been bitten and he was turning. The vampire was dead but it was too late.

I saw Shiro successfully wrestle a giant werewolf. He could have torn a vampire apart with his bare hands.

I just can't get behind a religion that thinks a guy like him deserves to lose his wings.

"I hope you're not offended, but I think Christianity is bullshit."

"Of course I'm not offended. Most real Christians think Christianity is bullshit."

That's not the kind of thing he said when he came to our door.

"Sorry, what?"

"The thing matters isn't who or what you believe in, but whether you're doing the right thing. A lot of people who call themselves Christian forget that."

If most door-to-door missionaries talked like this, I might listen more often.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, think about it. A truly benevolent God isn't so pedantic as to expect a specific kind of worship. Because the values He wants people to live by aren't exclusive to one religion, they're basic rules of human decency."

"But I mean, is he really that benevolent? Look what happened to YOU."

He sighs.

"That's different. There are some things that can't be explained in human tongues."

I'm not sure I'm ever going to understand the whole "religion" thing, anyway.

"I've had a lot of bad experiences with religious people."

"I know," he says. "Those are the fake Christians I was talking about. You've heard of taking the Lord's name in vain?"

"Of course I have."

He seems to know pretty much everything about me already anyway.

"Well, that's what's happening. A lot of people think that taking the Lord's name in vain means saying 'Oh God' when something goes wrong. But what it actually is is using His name to justify things He doesn't condone."

"Things like what?"

"Like starting a war for His sake. Or hating someone for their gender or sexuality. Anything that hurts someone else."

Dang.

"Wow. I wish I'd known this a while ago."

He laughs.

"Well I guess I should have told you."

I mean, I get why he didn't. I'm an evidence-based thinker.

"You sound like you still care about God."

"I don't begrudge Him anything."

"Hah. Yeah. The only person you do that to is YOURSELF."

Why do I say shit like that without thinking about how it's going to make people feel?

His laugh is bitter now.

"Did I say the wrong thing again?" I ask.

"No. You're completely right."

The ice cream's not melting as fast as it would on a hot day. I'm just now down to the cone.

"Shiro… you know a lot about people, right?"

"You could say that."

"What are my parents gonna think?"

That's IF we find Matt, of course.

"I mean, I can't actually predict the future," Shiro says. "I've just seen a lot of humanity from a larger vantage point."

"Well that's more than *I* know about them. Do you think… I don't know. Is this a good idea?"

"Honestly, Katie, I think no matter how I answer that, it won't stop you from doing it."

Well. Yeah.

"I'm just not sure they're going to want a kid that's not theirs."

Shiro looks thoughtful. Like he's making a decision.

"You know, I heard them praying one time."

"What? Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Why were they praying to you? They're not even Christian."

"They weren't praying to me. They were praying to whatever's out there. I used to hear a lot of those from… very desperate people."

Jeez.

"What did they say?"

Maybe it's breaking a sort of doctor/patient confidentiality to ask. But Shiro doesn't answer to anybody anymore.

"They said that their daughter means the world to them and they'd do anything to save her."

"From…"

From the iron pill.

"Oh."

That does sound like a pretty desperate prayer. I wonder if all that desperation ever started to wear on him.

"So… praying. Did it work? Is that why I got better? But angels and fairies don't deal with each other, right? Do I even HAVE a guardian angel?"

He smiles.

"You do now."

So that's it. He's here for the kids who have lost their angels. Or who never had any in the first place.

All of a sudden I want to cry.

"Don't you worry," he says. "I've got you."

Man. Shiro's a good hugger. He would still be better if one of his arms wasn't cold plastic, though.

"But do they only love me because of Matt?"

He goes quiet. He can't answer that.

"Katie. If you don't find family with them, you'll always have it with me."