Chapter TWO
indicates changing of POV between Niwa and Hiwatari
So he was right. Thats why he never saw him come in, he was already here. He had wondered about the
Niwa kid for a while now, ever since the few days he had been absent a while ago, he had changed.
Everything about him had changed, his demeanor, he attitude, even his friends had left him. So he was
like him now? He was a loner just like him, but most likely not for the same reasons. He was unsure, he
really didn't know what to think about the Niwa boy. Although now that he was actually looking at him,
he had never realized how incredibly gorgeous his eyes were, a flaming ruby red that was the complete
opposite of his icy blue sapphire eyes.
He had also just realized that he had never actually talked to Niwa. Sure Niwa had talked to him, but he
had never answered, he had always wondered WHY he had spoken to him. But ever since then, he had
looked at him in a new way, not like just "one of the others" like he used to. Ever since then, he had
began wondering what it would be like to speak with him more, to be close to him, and to touch him.
He knew he was gay, he had just never been actually interested in another guy besides sexually. Now
he began to think. He didn't like it, no one had ever had this kind of effect on him, he had never had to
question what he did, or what he thought, but Niwa changed that. Whenever he looked at him, he
thought, whenever he thought about him, he wondered. How did he do this with three words? It didn't
make any sense at all, and EVERYTHING made sense to him, everything.
He was looking at him, he knew it, he could feel those icy blue eyes boring into him. What was strange
was this wasn't the first time, and he now knew that it wasn't other people staring at him during the day,
no, he was the one that was looking at him, it felt just the same as all of the other times. He had always
thought it was one of his old friends looking at him and wondering what had happened between them.
He had only ever spoken to him once, he had finally pulled up enough courage to speak to him, and
what had it proven? All of his worst fears, thats what. He had, again, just stared at him, like he was
crazy for even coming within five feet of him. That was when he knew he didn't have a chance, that
was when he had changed to trying to pull up enough courage to get close enough to say hi, and just
hang out in the background and watch him with the longing that only someone that had to deal with
what he dealt with everyday, was capable of holding inside of him. Class was about to start, at least
now he would stop blushing and having to hide the redness from him when all of the other students
came in. The day passed by as usual, unhindered in his studies, and completely ignored by everyone
including the teacher, this was how he liked it, this was how he stayed invisible, this was how he got
through everyday. But by the time the end of 7th hour came along, he was well aware of the fact the
Hiwatari had been looking at him for most of the day, he just wondered why, but, it wasn't time for
wondering, it was time to go home, and that meant the end of all thought for the day, until his mom was
done chewing him out. Well, better now then never right? He packed his things to go and headed out
the door, and the walk home (he had began walking to stall) was VERY uneventful, not that he would
have cared for anything to happen, but still.
The night proceeded as usual, his mom blamed everything that had happened within the past year, the
car accident that killed dad, her drinking and loosing her job (but his father had left plenty of money to
live off of for a LONG while, but she blamed him anyway), and even down the the fact that she
couldn't see straight. But this time was different somehow, this time, it felt more real. Every time this
happened, which of course meant every night, he had always tried to imagine that this was all a dream,
maybe because how each day was the same, and nothing changed, but today had been different, he now
knew that Hiwatari was looking at him, that he had come earlier, and that he now couldn't stop
wondering why he was. No, today was different, it seemed, more real, and as soon as he came upon
that conclusion, everything came fludding back to him, everything that had happened within the past
year, his dad dying, his friends abandoning him (even if that was his fault), his mother hating him with
every ounce of her being, yes, HATING HIM, how could he have not seen it before this? She hated
him, she always would, this was never going to change. Maybe that was what set her off, he spaced out,
he had learned not to do this, because seeming like you weren't paying attention did that to her, she was
sent on a raging anger streak, she couldn't be stopped now, he had done it, but what she did next
completely took him by surprise and he wasn't prepared. She hit him. She hit him hard, which she had
NEVER done, she had always sticked to verbal abuse. Yes, today was different, today was the end of
his will to go on, he would have to find another way.