Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Chapter XVIII

Putting my hair in a bun, Inui comes to stand behind me. I see him smile at me in the mirror.
He had been kinder to me. As if glad to finally been ridden of that heavy burden he had been carrying around. He kisses my shoulder while greeting me.
I couldn't say he was different, he was still the same man. Perhaps a little more open then usual since he was not hiding his intentions anymore.

The countless love declarations I had received since last night to make me forgive him and perhaps just forget what he had confessed made me squirm inside. I felt thorn between being his fiancé, Tsunade's student and just being plain Sakura.

But it couldn't be helped, fix or forgotten. I could feel something had broken inside of me.

I guess I wasn't as free as I deemed myself. I wasn't in control at all. He had even said so himself. I couldn't walk away from him.

'I won't be home early tonight but tomorrow I'll try to be home for the evening,' he softly said in my ear making it sound as if I had been begging him to stay. The insinuation would normally make my blood boil but it seemed I was still in too much of state of shock to react properly.
'Have nice day.'

I just solemnly nod while noting he doesn't seem to mind my state of mind much as he leaves without looking back once.
When I stare at myself in the mirror, I see hollow green eyes and tired face.

I knocked on her door again. And again.
I let out an aggravated growl when realizing she wasn't going to unlock it. 'Open up!'
'Miss Haruno—'Doctor!' I correct the guard.
'Like I said, Lady Tsunade is not present,' he calmly answered.

I kick the door, letting all my anger out. 'I need to talk to her!' I yell. 'I need you!' I scream at the door.

'She isn't present for the moment,' he repeated.
'I know she is,' I angrily answer. 'She is somewhere in Konoha but not in her office, not in the hospital, not out on some meeting or event,' I sarcastically state. 'She nowhere to be found apparently but she is present in the village!'
'Lady Hokage has a lot to prepare with the change coming next week—'I've been running around the village for the entire day trying to catch her but I just can't find her and I need to talk to her! It is very important!' I rant. 'It actually has something to do with next week!' I desperately add.

'I sincerely apologize!' he stated, bowing deeply to show his regret.

I hung my shoulders in defeat, knowing the man was only doing his job and following orders. I glance at the door again, knowing Tsunade was inside. I could feel it in my bones. Besides, I wasn't stupid. I had heard correctly!
Coincidentally my ear had caught a conversation between two Shinobi for an urgent meeting with the Hokage when I waiting in line to grab something to eat. I had ran after them straight to the tower but had been stopped by some guards. After wasting enough time, I got to pass but as I went up the stairs the two Shinobi passed me by. Hurrying up to catch her, once up I had been told the Hokage had already left again.

Impossible of course but who was I to say the man was a liar?

'I need to talk to you,' I tell her through the door. I hoped she was listening.

With a heavy sigh and more heartache, I turned around to leave. I get startled by a familiar face. Kakashi Hatake. His cool brown eyes always look kind of hazy, as if he was never focused. But I knew better.
Suddenly my mind made an assumption, wondering if he was a part of the conspiracy. I warily take a step back.

'Doctor Haruno,' he greeted me with mild surprise. 'How have you been?'
'I'm alright,' I answer, sounding a lot more quiet then before. I felt a little unsure when standing before him. Suddenly I was questioning everyone and everything.

'I'm fine too,' he sardonically said when I didn't react. Quirking up an eyebrow at my behavior, I stammer an apology. I was so caught up in my own thoughts, all I had done was give him a cold, questioning stare in response.

I sheepishly look him in the eye before looking back at the door, in hopes of still getting an answer from Tsunade. I guess she was keen on never speaking to me again.

A thought crosses my mind and quicker before I can think it through, I fire a question at him.

'What are you doing here?'

It came out harsher then I had wanted. I curse myself a little, not have wanted to come off so aggressively. Though he is no longer wearing a porcelain mask, he does well at hiding himself. And I still had no idea how the lower half of his face looked.

'I'm here to bring in my report,' he sullenly answered. 'Why else would I be here?'
'Lady Tsunade is not present for the moment,' the guard piped in.
I turn around to give him an angry look. I had been hoping Tsunade would be foolish enough to expose herself if Kakashi would knock on the door.

'I'm aware,' he said to the guard. 'I was to give it to you.'
'Oh,' he hesitantly took it from Kakashi's hand.

'Do you two think I'm an idiot?' I finally snap at them. I had enough of this.
They both give me puzzled look, as if not having an idea of what I was going on about.

'Fine!' I scream while I angrily turn around on my heels and leave. If she didn't want to talk to me, she didn't have to!

But with every step I took my heart crumbled. A part of me was secretly wishing she'd come running after me. All I had wanted was to let her know that I knew. Perhaps avoid all the problems heading our way but she seemed keen on not wanting to speak to me.

Have I lost her?

I felt like breaking down and crying when I realized she had made my hard decision for me. I was with Inui.

I flee the Hokage's tower while wondering where I should go now. I suddenly felt so lost.

'Doctor Haruno!' Kakashi yelled from behind me. With a sigh, I ignore him and I keep walking. I could hear him catch up to me, pleading me to wait for him.

'Sakura!' Kakashi spoke up from behind me. He halted me by putting a hand on my shoulder.
'What?' I tiredly answer.
'Lady Tsunade is preparing her arguments against the final decision of disposing some of the Hokage's duties,' he calmly said. 'She needs to focus.'

'I need to talk to her,' I firmly told him, trying to not let the emotions overtake me. I tore myself down with the idea that now I knew how she must've felt for at least a year. Not being able to reach a person you loved so dearly…

'I'm sure she'll see you when the time is right,' he kindly said.

I quirk up an eyebrow at his answer. He always made it me feel as if he knew more.
Again my mind is in a frenzy at the idea of him knowing things I that didn't. Did he know about Inui? Had he known all along?
I was uncertain on who's side he was on. And suddenly I was aware no-one could be trusted, which made me feel even more alone.

'Have you seen Naruto yet?' he asked, trying to start a conversation when I wanted to walk away again.
'Yesterday.'
'How was he? Glad to see you again, I assume?'

'As always, loud and obnoxious.' Though it may have come off as cold, I meant it affectionately.

But in all honesty, he looked more like depressed at seeing me in the state I was.
I let out a sigh and shrug when Kakashi's eyebrow quirks up.

A gloomy smile appears on my lips when I realized it had been him who had made me realize that how I had been living was wrong. Unfortunately I had figured it out too late.

Though I suppose it could never been an on time thing to begin with.

I was still stunned by the idea that nothing had been coincidental in my life. It had all been planned out before I had even thought of it.

Kakashi seemed to have gotten to known Naruto quite well because he instantly laughed and agreed.

'Naruto is quite the…' I could tell he was trying to put it kindly. 'Knucklehead?' I said.
'Exactly!' he nodded with a smile. I politely smiled along.

An awkward silent hung between us and I mutter an excuse to go home.

'He was a little surprised when I told him about how we met,' Kakashi suddenly said.
Getting my attention with that remark, I gave him a puzzled look. What was he trying to do?
He didn't budge on answer my unspoken question.

'I was surprised too,' I sincerely answer. 'It seemed I was the only one, though.'

Another blank face as reaction to what I said. With a hallow snicker, I look around me and wonder if I'm dreaming. It was all so unclear and hazy. Sometimes lovely, sometimes frightening. But never quite touchable enough to make out if it was real.

'Speaking of the devil,' Kakashi spoke up. His mask shattered and I could catch a glimpse of his usual self.
'Naruto!' I greet, glad to see him. Perhaps the only person I could speak to and help me. Why hadn't I thought of him earlier?
I realized I had to miss him a little too much the last couple of years and forgot I could always count on him. An emptiness was suddenly filled again.

'Hey Sakura,' he greeted me unenthusiastically.

I feel my heart crumble at the shallow response. My shoulders hang in defeat, knowing already how this was going to go.

'Maybe we can go eat something together?' Kakashi suggested. 'Ramen perhaps, Naruto?'
'I could eat,' I said. I had abandon the line I had been standing in earlier to try and catch Tsunade.

When I looked at Naruto, he averted his eyes and kept his on Kakashi's.

'Actually Kakashi, I was wonder if you wanted to do a sparring-match?' he asked, ignoring me for the most part. Kakashi seemed to pick up on my state of mind but kept quiet. His eyes kept going back and forth from me to Naruto.
Naruto seemed keen on ignoring me and Kakashi's reaction to his distant behavior. 'I could really use it.'

'Well, I'll be leaving now,' I softly said.

'Maybe some other time, Sakura,' Naruto suddenly said. He gave me a hurt look, as if he didn't want to do this but had no other choice. It took me only a second to figure out this had to with Tsunade's situation. Naruto had never hidden his desire to become Hokage. In fact, it was all he ever talked about.

'Good luck,' I tell him. I wasn't referring to the sparing-match. I sincerely hoped they could find a way to stop Inui.

Having enough of my bad day, I decided to cancel every meeting I had and made the excuse of not feeling too well. Getting undressed to take a nice hot bath, I tried to figure out how to reach Tsunade. I was in so deep.

The hot bath was soothing but not nearly enough to take the tension away. I was on edge too, every sound was too loud, every look of a stranger had a meaning. Everyone had a motive.
Everywhere I looked, I saw a glimpse of another trap. ANBU surrounding me took me back to the days I couldn't stand being near them. Inui had praised me so much for my hard work, had turned around how I had come off during the peak of the war that I had been blinded by what his true intentions were.

Yet, a small part of me still hung on that it had all been real. His feelings were genuine and we had been happy. For a while at least.

When the doorknob turns, I get startled and cover myself up. Though it wasn't necessary since I had put in scented soap that caused an overload of bubbles. To my utter surprise I see it is Inui. He was rarely home in the middle of the day.

'I was going to have an early dinner with you,' he said smiling at the sight of me. 'But it seems you have something planned already.'

I didn't respond. I simply gave him an indifferent look. He seemed to pick up on my odd behavior and gave me a worried look. Slowly walking to the bath, I almost feel the need to jump out and flee the room.

Crouching down before me, he affectionately puts a hand on my cheek.

'I know that last night was a lot,' he whispered. 'but I promise you nothing has changed.'

I don't want to aggressively push away his hand, so I just softly place mine on his and slowly take hold of it. I give it a light squeeze, as if I understood what he saying.

'Are you feeling better?' he asked with a concerned look in his blue eyes. He came off as sincere but I couldn't help but still feel betrayed. A part of me considered forgiving him since no one seemed to want me around anymore but him.

He softly let go of my hand and grabbed my chin. Pulling me closer to his mouth, he gave me a light kiss.

'Try to take care of yourself,' he quietly said. 'Next couple of weeks are going to be hectic again.'

As the warmth of his lips left mine, I could feel a part of something that had seeped into my heart slowly leave me. I suppose it was my love for him. I could feel something ominous coming my way.

'I talked to Naruto but it seems he is… not thrilled to attend our wedding. So I'm afraid we've postponed it for nothing.'

My mouth goes dry. I try to find the words or simply the strength to speak up. Say something, anything. Say something, Sakura!

'I know you are probably disappointed but…' he paused, placing his forehead against mine. 'I promise you, I'll take care of you.'

I still stay unresponsive. Even my mind stops working and I let his words overwhelm me.

His hand slowly leaves my skin and as he stand up before me, I see the same man everyone sees. A high-official, demanding respect as he is the one with more power.

'I want you to be more home,' he suddenly says. 'I miss you too much.'

I wince at the idea of being trapped here all the time.

'We don't see each other as often as we should.'

If I could erase last night, that would've sound so lovely. And if it hadn't been for Zabuza's vicious voice running havoc in my mind for the last week, I would believe him in a heartbeat and perhaps, in order to save our relationship, happily applied to his idea. I was such an easy victim to his lies because I willingly believed them.

My unresponsiveness doesn't seem to affect him much as he continues talking.

'Also I don't want you to ever be around people that don't stand behind us.'

I knew who he was referring to and understood he was slowly trying to isolate me from others. I guess he realized he might lose me, in spite of having a hold on me.

'You can't do this,' I finally speak up, shaking my head.

'I do what it takes, Sakura,' he harshly answered. 'Don't forget that.'

I knew it was a treat. Without further ado, he turned around and bid me ag ood evening. Leaving me and my dwelling thought alone again. Inside, I felt horrible and I couldn't feel my heart anymore. Just the angsty, torturing feeling of sadness and pure pain.

I let myself sink into the bath and briefly ponder if I should come back up for air.

Instinct is stronger than my weak mind and I eventually gasp up for air.

His words had seeped in and like venom drained me from energy. I was trapped and alone.

I was exactly where I didn't wanted end up being.

Scratching my skin with my nails, I tried to fight off the nauseating feeling inside. Faces haunt me and words make me shake my head. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to run away again… but I knew I never could.

I sat in the tub until the water was cold and my nose no longer picked up the lavender scent. I wasn't as numb as I wanted to be. When I look out the window I see how the evening sun has already left us and darkness was settling in. Getting out of the water, I dry myself off while a simple thought sparks a sudden need I can't suppress.

Sitting in front of the dressing table, I stare at the woman before me. Combing my hair, I let my mind wander to a certain person. It wasn't much of heavy decision, I had made up my mind last night. And the night before. And before.

But this time I was more aware. So I walked to my dressing room and picked something I normally wouldn't. Perfumed myself, soothed my skin and tried to look as radiant as I could.
I put on the black cloak I usually wore and left for the first time without hesitance or even thinking of the idea of getting caught.

Being rebellious as always, I ran to the source of what Inui had meant but did not even know of, someone to comfort me other than him.

It feels as if I'm tranquilized. I swear even the hall I was standing in was spinning and at the same time it felt soothing to be here. I knew the door would open. I knew he'd want me. I knew I was about to get numbed.

Just like I had anticipated, the door opened. Although this time revealing a fully dressed Zabuza. It looked like he had just got here himself. His smirks while telling me to come inside.

I'm slow.

Perhaps I'm already somewhere else in my mind.

'You got lucky, I might've not made it tonight.'
'You were in trouble?' I ask, surprised by my own worry. I wasn't ready yet. This was all I had for the moment and I needed it to survive.

'Just a meeting,' he answered. He tells me to take a seat but I awkwardly stay put in the middle of the room. My eyes follow his movements, throwing his jacket on to a chair while walking towards the liquor cabinet he loved so dearly. 'Do you want a drink?' he nonchalantly asked.

At first I want to decline but I eventually tell him yes.

He turns his head at the answer but doesn't give me much of a surprised look, as if he already knows I now know too.

He hands it over and I stiffly accept, suddenly feeling a little uncertain on how to hold myself. He smirks at my reaction before lazily sitting down on the coach in front of me. He wordlessly suggest to come take a seat next to him but my feet firmly stay put.

'Why didn't you tell me about Inui?'

There I had said it.

An amused look took hold of his face and he simply snickers before drinking from his glass. Giving it some thought he eventually gives me an unsatisfying answer.

'I told you to stay away from him,' he coldly answers.

'You never—'I believed you once saw him for who he really was,' he stated. 'Just like everyone else he likes deluding himself and others into thinking he cares,' he said mimicking my voice.

The memories flooded my mind and I was brought back to the night I first crossed the line. I remembered how dark and gritty the room was, much like the outside world surrounding us. It made me unwillingly understand that I had block out so many memories over the past years. I squirm a little at the memory.

'You were smart, Sakura.'

I just foolishly thought you were jealous all this time. I've romanced our memories so much to make myself feel better. To escape reality. While falling for your mind traps by taking your advice.

I stare straight into his eyes.

You have me exactly where you wanted me all those years ago, at your mercy. Just like Haku, I've become dependable of your wicked affection. You turned the world upside down. Or had it always been that way and was I now only aware of it?

Zabuza's eyes leave mine and go over my body. I knew he couldn't see pass the basic black clothes I was wearing. But just like that night, I felt transparent to the man.
Slouching in the couch, he lazily looks at me while drinking. 'Any bruises this time around?'

I wince at the memory of how rough he had been back in the day. How much he scared me back then and seemingly enjoyed it too.
We had this prey and predator game, were we both switched places from time to time. A mere two years and we had forgotten all about it. Well, at least I had. I suddenly saw how vivid alive it still was in Zabuza's mind.

I stare into the full glass of whiskey I was holding.

He reaches out to take it from me, already finished his own. I take a few steps forward and carefully hand it over.

I wish I had to wit to question him more but in all honesty, I had gotten all my answers.

So instead of indulging in our usual game, I decide to skip that part and simply take off my t-shirt in response. The cold surprises me a little, aware I'm usually at a point where I need to get my clothes off because it is burning my skin.
Like expected, he gives me an appreciative glance. With a smirk, he looks at how I take off my lose trousers too. Standing before him in something I had only worn once and never fully got the chance to show off in or receive the hungry look I was now getting.

I feel strangely in empowered.

I see him swallow and he sits up straight when I walk towards him. Lightly touching his face, he closes his eyes in respond and welcomes me when I get closer to him.
Straddling him, I slowly put my hands on his chest. I can feel his heartbeat. He takes a sharp breath and I feel his hand on my back. Pulling me closer to him and his obvious arousal while letting out a groan.

'You smell so nice,' he muttered against my skin as I get closer to him. I smile at the comment, getting reminded of an odd conversation we once had.

Unlike any other time, it is I who take action. Hungrily kissing him, tasting the alcohol on his tongue and pushing myself as close to him as I could. I feel the coolness of the glass he was holding against my leg. As we part for air, he slightly slouches again. His eyes going over my body again, as if he wasn't quite sure if he was awake.

We stare at each other for a moment. Aware we are, for the first time, on the same level.

After he takes a sip from his drink, I grab the glass and take a small sip myself and eventually put it down on the ground. The small movement gets an reaction out of him and he doesn't bother hiding it. Both his hands travel over my body while I respond with the same feverish action, helping him take off his shirt.

Then I saw him again. The half-man, half-demon.

A little vulgar at times and sometimes a little needy just like any other human.

It wasn't until now I understood he was right, we were alike.

I believed my own reality, like he believed in his. I had numbed myself and willingly thrown out all of my "good" morals to get what I want. And so had he, he had turned his back to his true self to get back into the system. We had both deluded ourselves into thinking we could outsmart others and finally rise above them.

Our obsession had blinded us.

I had wanted to believe it so badly. A good, genuine person and a better world.

And for a while, it had worked. But there had been so many red flags and now there was simply no denying it. And it seemed I couldn't go back either.

'You hurt yourself?' he asked with a hoarse voice, pulling me out of my thoughts.
He touches the light scratches on my arm. I don't answer the question, I simply stare at them myself, unaware I had cut so deep with my own nails.

He places light kisses on my bruised skin and I affectionally go with my hand through his hair.

When our mouths meet again, our actions are more intense and I feel myself letting go.
Unlike any other time, I was more willing, more certain of myself. And I wanted him to want me. To crave me.

I wanted him to never forget me.

I nuzzle in his neck, kissing it lightly while catching my breath. My hand travels over his arms, touching his shoulders lightly before holding onto his face. Getting slightly up from his chest, I place my mouth on his again.

'You should fight with Inui more often,' he remarks once my mouth leaves his and travels down his neck.

'We didn't fight,' I answer. 'He seems to think I just need to get used to the truth. That my love for him is as deep as his is for mine.'
'It's not?' he asked with mild surprise.

'I guess I always hoped it would end up being that way,' I mutter as I stop and look at him. It was some type of revelation for me too. I guess all the lying made me be dishonest with myself as well.

His brown eyes are kind of hazy and he seems to have a lasting smirk on his face. He looks content, I note to myself.

'Well, I don't mind whatever is going on inside of that pretty little head of yours,' he says while teasing my bottom lip with his mouth. His hands travel over my back while slightly pressing me down on him.

'What is going on inside your pretty little head?' I ask teasingly.

'Hm,' he let out a low growl. 'Well, if it weren't for all the exciting things to happen, I'd scratch my headband and leave again.'

'What is going to happen?' I ask with a frown but he distracts me with mouth. Placing my finger on his lips to stop him, I repeat the question.

'I'm might get what I want,' he said.
'The position of Mizukage?' I ask in surprise.
He laughs while shaking his head at my ridiculous assumption. 'Getting a better position,' he explains.
'Oh… Well, I guess hard work does pay off sometimes.'
'It certainly does,' he nods while obviously dismissing the idea of continuing this conversation. I can tell he isn't in the mood to talk but like always I can't help myself.

'If you scratch your headband, you can forget everything you've worked for. Besides what would you do with Haku back in Kirigakure?' I curiously ask.

With a sigh, he turns us around. Placing me softly on the pillow, he tastes my mouth before pulling back. Resting his head against the palm of his hand while he looking down at me.

'He'd come after me,' he shrugged, knowing it would be as simple as that.

'Then take me with you,' I suddenly blurt out. I surprised myself while Zabuza simply grinned at the idea. Meanwhile a little voice inside of my head goes off, telling me I've gone crazy.

Think about it, I tell myself. There isn't much left here now. Everything is corrupt, just like Zabuza had once told me. And I had wanted to prove to him the world wasn't like that, that it wasn't all that bad. But I only ended up showing him my own true nature. The only thing I ended up proving was that his words had been the truth.

'My personal healer,' he muttered while making patters on my stomach. 'Not a bad idea.'

'Was this a part of your plan?' I ask when I feel his hand travel down again. Had he known all along I would falter so easily? He used laugh at me, as if knowing I was as weak as the rest of the world.
'I already told you, no,' he answered using a more serious tone. 'Getting severely injured, to then let that little runt tell me he knows a doctor, only to see it is a beautiful woman in a rather flimsy dress… I can promise you that was not a part of the original plan.'

'I wasn't planning on an emergency when I went into bed that night,' I point out while he continues touching and kissing me. I sigh in response to his hand while my mind blocks out all the memories.
'I could tell you were cold…' he muttered in my ear. 'And after that all I could think of was how I could keep you warm.'

I could feel him smirk against my ear. I lightly punch him on the arm and tell him to stop. He gets back up, finding my reaction quite humorous.

'Moment ruined by your filthy mouth!' I state when he looks at me with a playful look in his eyes.

He kisses my shoulder. 'You used to be a lot more resistant. Easily offended too.'
'Well… you were always vulgar and sleazy.'
'But it eventually got you in my bed,' he pointed out. I open my mouth but close it again when I realize he is just messing with me.
'It was I whodecided to get into your bed,' I answer defiantly.

'So,' he starts looking down at my body. 'Why have you decided to haunt me a little more?'
'What do you mean?'
'Ah, common Sakura,' he snickered at my pretense of innocence. 'You didn't come here with pure good intentions.'

'I wanted to get dolled up,' I jokingly said. He let out a laugh and gave me an approving nod, finding the humor in it.

'No, I just wanted to forget everything… even if its only for a night,' I truthfully answer. Strangely and to my utter surprise he nods understandingly. We're somewhere between an embrace and the start something other. His breath tickled my cheek while my hand caressed his face.

The room is rather dark and the smell isn't exactly fresh, the odor of alcohol, cigarettes and… well sex hung in the air. I'm strangely reminded of my old house. And I briefly wonder how much Zabuza has thought of our time there.

I realized that no matter what excuses he used to justify his actions, he was still taking a huge risk being in this room with me.

But I wasn't foolish to think I was the sole reason for him being here.

'Are you trying to get yourself into trouble?' I ask him while his mouth goes below my collarbone. He seems softer in his doings while taking his sweet time going lower. 'So you can scratch your headband and leave again?'

He abruptly stops but his lips stay on my skin. It is still for a moment.

'Perhaps,' he says finally speaking up. Maybe I'm more sensitive but I feel as if he has much more need to touch me. He caresses the shape of my waist and eventually lets his hand rest on my hip. The simple movement has a unusual electric effect on me.

'I needed some release,' he muttered. 'Whatever the result end up being, I was fine with.'

For some reason I found it sounding like a compliment. He wanted to come for me, in spite of knowing better. He could've easily just start doing his job badly. I guess he too liked the thrill of meeting again and again.
And after all, before high society had decided to change us into puppets, we were nothing but mere unnecessary burdens they had wanted to get rid of.

In a way we had always been connected, I suppose.

Oddly, I also now understood we had unwillingly entwined in each other's life. No matter how much we both claimed our relation, if we could call it that, was purely physical… we got underneath each other's skin. It had started with the simple need of explaining how we saw each other, of how our vision of the world was.

'And you?' he asked. 'What are you planning on getting out of this?'

'I don't think the results could get any worse,' I mumble as he continues his previous work. His sharp teeth grace my skin from time to time.

I get reminded by our earlier conversation where he insisted I was holding on to something. No, his exact words were that I was holding back on being human. That nothing was good or bad, it was all a blur. Only know I was no longer resistant to believing and I finally accepted he had a point.

Boldly he tells me that too while putting his lips back on my skin. I can feel him smirk again.

I look down, seeing his brown eyes glint excitingly in the dark. I smirk back. Let him think he's victorious. I could still see him.

His little human inside.

I hurry back inside, noticing a lot more agents present at the late hour. Sometimes I question how on earth I haven't been caught yet. I rush through the halls of my own home, as if someone was trying to come after me. The adrenaline makes me a little delusional. With a dash I enter the bedroom and lock the door. Just to be certain.

I'm relieved to see a dark empty room greet me. I immediately start my new routine.
Undressing myself as I walk towards the bathroom connected to the bedroom and running the water for a nice warm shower. I throw the clothes onto the ground and start combing my hair.

I smell only a faint scent of the lavender anymore. I contemplate on washing it or not. But my mind remind me how easily the nose is fooled, just because I did not pick up on the scent anymore did not mean Inui wouldn't.

As I look at myself in the mirror for the second time that day, I see someone else.

I see a spark of fierceness inside of me again. I had been too passive the last few month, letting certain things pass me by to avoid confrontation. I saw my little outburst with Zabuza as nothing but an act of defiance. Perhaps a little rebelliousness to keep my old self alive.

You sneak into a hotel-room to sleep with a murderer but can't find a clever way of getting to talk to Tsunade. She should know that you now know. That she no longer has to spare you from the hurt, that you can plot against him together. Like it should've been in the first place!

Why did I let go on for so long?

I turn my back against my reflection, ceasing the heavy questions. I let out a sob at how pathetic I have been behaving.

Zabuza is a nice distraction but after tomorrow, it's over. No more running around.

I hear the unsettling sound of someone trying to open the door. Grabbing a robe to cover myself, I anxiously stare at it. Uncertain if I should open it or not. To my horror, it seems whoever it is doesn't need my approval or the key. I hear the door unlock.

I frantically look around for something to defend myself. Seeing Inui's razorblade as the perfect weapon, I grab it and hide myself behind the other, still closed, large door.
Whoever it is, doesn't waver when entering. I hear heavy footsteps come straight towards me.

I swallow, while patiently waiting for whoever it is to appear. For a small fraction my mind assumes it is Zabuza coming for me. When I see black hair coming pass the edge of the door, I halt my move to strike out and immediately attack.

Inui's gives me a solemn look. His blue eyes stare at my figure and my odd behavior and for a moment I can't seem to react. Or better actually, how to properly react to this situation.

'Inui,' I mutter in surprise. It takes me a second to realize I'm still holding out the razorblade. I slowly put it down while waiting for him to react. He crosses his arms and leans against the doorframe. Closing his eyes in thought.

'What are you doing?' he simply asked.

'Taking a shower,' I mumble.

'I believed you had a bath earlier,' he said. 'Soaked in it for hours from what I've heard.'
'Well, I got sweaty,' I answer.
'Why do you lie to me?'

I let out a hallow laugh in response and shake my head at the stern expression he's wearing. He can't be serious!

'Because you've been always honest with me?' I venomously ask.

'You know, Sakura you've always known my political position,' he started. 'It's not like I've lied about who I am—'you killed your mentor,' I snap and lose my temper at the ludicrously of his words.

I tighten my grip on the handle of the blade.

'And he was not missed,' he coldly answers. I can't help but flinch at the response. It was such contrast compared to how he usually reacted when we would talk about the past.

I couldn't sense any emotion in him.

He takes a few step towards me. As he stand before me, he lightly touches my hair.

'My beautiful… soon-to-be wife,' he starts with a small smile. 'What have you been up to?'

Although he said it lightheartedly, I could sense a threat underneath. He twists a lock of hair around his finger. He bring it to his nose, lightly sniffing it before getting closer to me. Unfazed by my angry scowl, he nuzzles his nose against mine. I pull away.

'You've been wandering around?' he quietly asks. 'Every night your hair smells wonderfully but a little odd since I know you find it a drag to wash it now that it so long in length.' His words send shiver down my spine, feeding the nauseating feeling of getting caught.
'A scent of something odd hangs in it now,' he continues touch my fore head with his lips. 'Yesterday you denied me. Lied to me.'

Suddenly I can feel his arm snake around me and push me closer to him. I have to stop myself from not using the small weapon resting in the palm of my hand. Sensing how on edge I am, I try to calm myself. I swallow the fear suffocating me slowly.

'I know when you're not,' he pauses for a moment, 'accessible.'
'What a disgusting way to put it,' I snap, not being able to hold my temper again.
He snickers at my outburst. 'However you want to put it, it was a lie.'
'You are just as vile and patronizing as your dear old mentor!' I yell at him. 'You seem to think everyone is underneath you!'

'You're my wife—'I'm not your wife!' I hiss forcing his blue eyes to look into mine. He smiles while placing my hair behind my ear. Kissing my forehead. I push him off of me. We struggle for a moment, going back and forth. I keep the blade behind me, making sure he can't grab it. Or I didn't end up accidently using it.

'You think you can run from me?' he yelled grabbing hold of my wrist and twisting it lightly. It hurt but nothing I couldn't take. 'I have enough people to follow you around,' he whispered.
'Let go of me,' I icily tell him, having enough of this madness.
'You think you and Tsunade can stop me?'
'Let go of me,' I repeated more angrily.

'One of you is going to end death if you both stubbornly keep proceeding.'

Unable to help myself I lose all self-controle and suddenly with just flicker as a warning, the blade is pressed against the skin in his neck. We're close and I can feel his breath against my face. He doesn't waver because of the action. His angry snake tongue continues its rampage.

'Are you going to become like all those murderers you fight against?' he viciously asked. I press in the blade deeper, drawing out blood.
'Well, maybe. If it is for the greater good, why not?' I tell him, while seriously contemplating about the idea. The solution was in the palm of my hand, one quick fierce motion and it would all be over.

He smirks at my threat, 'Do you know now how it feels to be one of them? To be driven to the edge?

I halt. Swallowing the burning feeling inside of my throat made out of pure anger. For a moment I think of a few faces that I never understood why they had committed the crimes they had. I even think of a few uncommon cases but mostly mind goes directly to Zabuza and Haku. Had someone driven them over the edge?

'You know I'm not horrible person,' he suddenly starts, snapping me out of my thoughts. 'I do understand how the world works. And perhaps it is your naïve, extremely sweet personality that doesn't seem to grasp it but you cannot win with kindness.'
'Shut up!' I hiss but he stays unfazed and continues on the same tone as before.
'I'm planning on giving second chances but I need to get rid of the shinobi's old ways of thinking first. All this honor is making people suffer unnecessarily.'

My heart skips a beat, remembering thinking that once too. And a part of me still did.
So much was based on rules, tradition and teachings that seemed impossible to live by. Some were long overdue and it was what fed peoples mind and sometimes drove them mad.
Men like Zabuza… Some of it was the root of frustration, anger and ended up leading to nothing but pure hate.

Freezing on the spot at the thoughts, he senses my hesitation. Easily grabbing hold of my hand, his grip is so harsh that it only is matter of seconds before I let it fall out of my hand.

'Sakura, you can't just leave,' he menacingly adds. 'You can't just leave everything behind.'

My hand starts trembling. 'Let go of me,' I tell him again when I feel him tighten his grip on my wrist.

'Imagine how the people, who have put so much faith in you, would react should they hear you are abandoning everything they stand for. You have become a steady person who people depend on. A face with a meaning.'

His words echo in my ears while his intense gaze make makes me crumble. I sweat and the room starts to spin. I slowly begin to fight back again, giving him a weak push. I hate how his words have the wanted affect he searching for. I feel guilty, weak.

'If you leave my side, not only will you regret it but everything you have ever done will simply fall apart and fail,' he threateningly added.
Grabbing hold of my body, he pressed down to his trying to make me calm down. Acting as if I were nothing but mere child.

The patronizing tone and actions was making me furious but I tried to not let it get to me.
I had to play it smart, keep myself calm and then leave. I can halt for only a minute but when his face gets to close to mine, my instincts kick in. I shake my head and try to get away from him.

'Calm down!' he hisses.

I feel tears escape. Inui always knew how to get underneath people's skin. A skill I admired once, thinking the way he used his words made people understand the views of others. Always carefully put but precise, words that would one day change the world

He wipes away the tears away with his free hand and gives my cheek a light kiss. Hushing me and telling me it was going to be alright.

'I admit the beginning of my career wasn't as sincere as I make it seem,' he quietly said while holding on to me. 'But every word, move and promise is. I do want to make the world a better place. And I believe it is with you—'you think I was politically a good match,' I spat while moving my head out underneath his chin. My abrupt head movement is inelegant and in response he grimaces in pain.

Clenching his teeth in frustration, he stayed quiet knowing I wasn't quite finished.

'If you don't have the heart to begin with, you'll never will. You can't make honest promises if your word doesn't mean a thing!' I scream at him. Our awkward embrace irking me every second of it.

'I know you'll get over this,' he started on a softer tone. 'You're just having a hard time letting go of Tsunade. But in your core, you and I are the same.'

I stay quiet, hating how he does have a point and that we do have the same visions. And I guess, deep, deep inside, I knew that maybe he did have a point about the position of Hogake. But not in this lifetime, not while I was alive. Not when I was the Hokage's apprentice.

Maybe things were going too fast. Even for me.

Just how weak are you? What a pathetic reason to stop him. There are a million others reason why you should stop his idiotic idea!

'If it wasn't Tsunade, Sakura… Would you stop me?' he quietly asked while trying to reach me.

No.

I don't respond, passively standing in his arms.

'I love you,' he whispered while his mouth goes for mine. I reject his intimacy, feeling disgusted by the idea. He lets out a sigh, regretting my reaction. I stubbornly keep my eyes on the door, I can't stand the sight of him.

'I forgive whatever it is you are doing behind my back,' he then suddenly says. 'I don't know who you are meeting in that hotel since no-one in Kirigakure is willing to talk. It seems they are quite fond of the new Mizukage…' he muttered the last part as in afterthought, as if it didn't seem to sit him well.

I quirk up an eyebrow at the comment. Glancing out of the corner of my eyes I take a look at him.
His cool expression is hard on me since I'm accustomed to see his soft, sincere blue eyes stare back at me. He seems distant and I feel my heart break inside when I finally admit to myself that not having his love is hurting me.

When he moves my chin to look at him and place a kiss one my lips, I reluctantly pull back.

'Get over it, Sakura,' he then said.

The frustration and hate took over and I could no longer keep my temper in check.
My forehead meets his and with a surprised yell he finally lets go of me. I grab the razorblade lying on the ground and with a shaky hand I hold it out.

'I… I…' I can't bring myself to say it.

Holding on to his nose, that was bleeding heavily, he glared at me. Grabbing a towel to keep the blood from flooding, he asked me for help.

I stare at him in shock. Didn't it matter to him that I hurt him? That I was angry with him?
'Please, Sakura,' he asked. The tone of his voice was much like the one I was used to hearing. Warm and a little bit needy perhaps.

I felt so foolishly played.

I lower the razorblade and place it down on the sink. It take deep breath before reminding myself who I was. I'd always be first and foremost a doctor.

It was goodbye.

And perhaps I was looking for someone to unleash all my anger and hate onto. I compared to last night, the last thing I wanted was to forget.

I always assumed Zabuza and Haku's presence had influenced my life when in reality us meeting was nothing but a mere coincidence. Even Zabuza had said so himself, if it hadn't been for Haku saying he knew a doctor that could help, we would've never met.

A small, weird part of me was grateful for the unusual meeting.

But if it hadn't been for Haku, I wouldn't have been so desperately looking for a affection. I would've perhaps chosen to not follow Inui…

I shake my head at the thought. Blaming me for the death of the old man had always been a part of the plan.

Meeting the assassin and his accomplice however wasn't.

I let out a sigh when I stand before the door. Wondering if anyone has followed me and who knew of my affaire in the hall. I found it unusual that Inui had allowed me to leave me by myself, even though he was home for the evening. As if convinced everything I did was harmless to him.

However, none of it mattered. I was indeed not going anywhere. I was stuck. Much like Zabuza, I got what I wanted but… not really.

With a heavy heart, I finally knock on the door. I briefly ask myself what I'm doing here again and rebuke I should've never set foot in this hotel in the first place.

I am earlier than usual…

Impatiently I knock on the door again.

My heart begins to beat erratically when realizing that there was a chance that no one would be answering. I don't want to say his name or wait for anyone to come and see what the ruckus was all about.

Desperately I reach for the doorknob. When a clicking sound is made, I let out a gasp. Slowly I open the door, holding my breath. To my surprise the room is neat and I see his personal belonging still into place. So he hasn't left yet.

I feel relief wash over me.

I quietly call out his name but no answer. The room is obviously empty. I tell myself to wait even though being here alone made me feel nervous and uncomfortable. I guess at the same time I wanted to leave as quick as I could but I told myself to wait for at least five minutes.

Curiously, I go through his stuff. Nothing personal. Nameless, meaningless things only a true shinobi could carry with him. I halt when my eye lands on something out of place. Grabbing it I take good long look at it, as if to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me.

This is mine.

It was one of my old medicine books with my personal notes in it. Reading quickly through the pages made me reminisce. Suddenly I wanted to take up my life where I had left if off in that little town.

Even with the unfortunate houseguests.

I smirk at the idea of teasing him with this book. Why does he carry it around with him?

When I hear the door open behind me, I get startled.

'Good, I figured you tried to get in before leaving,' Zabuza muttered while he entered the room.

Turning around, with the book behind my back, I want to open my mouth to make a witty remark but stop before a sound can leave my mouth. I gape at the sight before me.

I seemed to have forgotten how the color red comes in many shades.

Closing the door with a loud thud, he smirks at my shocked expression. I take a step back when he comes near me but my back immediately meets the closet behind me. I swallow when comes closer. Taking off his bloodied jacket and throwing it on the ground, he stand before me.

'What did you do?' I asked him.

He tilts his head. Eying me like he usually did but his eyes held a gleam in them that worried me deeply. Suddenly the fear I once felt came back to haunt me.

'Quit early so I could see you, Sakura.' His voice made me get chills all over my body.

'What did you do, Zabuza?' I ask him again when takes another step towards me.

Standing tall before me, his hand reaches out to touch my cheek. I let the book drop out of my hand.
My eyes widen at the bloody clothes, the tainted medal on his chest. The headband spattered with the same red substance that seemed to cling on him everywhere.

'Who did you kill?' I breathlessly asked.
'You're always asking me questions you already know,' he answer with snick.

My eyes widen. 'I still want my revenge.' I take a sharp breath at the memory of what he had said to me two nights ago.

'But don't worry, I think the end is near for him.'

'N-no,' I stutter not believing what I was seeing.

Taking his shirt off and his headband at the same time, he throws it on to the jacket in pile behind him. Without, all the evidence of murder was already gone. Placing his arms on to the closet behind me, I stare at the bare chest before me. I see light scars here and there. I swallow the lump of emotions in my throat, trying to think or talk. Or simply just move!

I gasp for air again instead.

Trying to catch my breath, Zabuza slowly tries to undress me. 'Don't,' I weakly tell him. He only takes of the black cloak I wore over the pass few days and throws it on the bed next to us. I aimlessly stare at it for a moment.

I feel him coming closer and he places his mouth next to my ear. 'You were my alibi,' he quickly whispered as if confessing a secret.

When I look up at him, he gives me a wink before grabbing my chin and kissing me.

I try to push him off of me but he doesn't stop until I hear the door behind him open with a forceful blow. Zabuza slowly turns around, grabbing me by waist and pulling me close to him. I quickly look at him in shock before looking at who has entered just entered the room.

His familiar brown eyes staring at me startle me so much I can't seem to move a muscle. Zabuza needs to hold me up.
He doesn't seem too shocked at seeing us but then again he's never very expressive. Yet I can't help but let his name escape my mouth. 'Kakashi?'

Ah, cliffhanger because… I'm evil. It is as simple as that.
I hope Sakura's emotional struggle came out well. I think it gave the chapter quite some moments of suspense. And as you can see, we have not run out of twists just yet!

Comment/Review!