Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Chapter XX

'It is going to be alright, Sakura.'

I wished with all my heart I could believe her. Really. But I just couldn't.

Instead of telling her of my doubt in faith, I give her a short nod. I glance at Naruto standing in the background. I didn't know if he exactly had known what they had been planning on doing but he had been keeping his distance for a while now. I could see guilt in his eyes and for moment I wanted to walk over to him and tell him it was alright. We we're going to fine.

But it wasn't going to be alright. And I was dead tired of lying.

I was utterly confused about how I felt. At times the anger and frustration inside of me were consuming me violently, other moments I was numb.
It was a feat for me to still be able to stand tall and simply breath. As much as I didn't want to leave, I couldn't stand the idea of staying either.

Everything felt foreign now.

Political acquaintances had now become complete strangers to me, friends and foes seemed to have blurred and I no longer felt the need to be kind towards the needy. I wasn't capable of giving anymore.

I watched the world move around me. Swallowing the fear inside. I walked to the carriage bringing me to a new unknown place I already dreaded going to.

I was still in midst of progressing everything. I didn't feel ready but Tsunade had explained she couldn't postpone the meeting any longer. She had managed to stretch until Kakashi officially became Hokage.

But a month wasn't much for a deep wound to heal.

'Sakura,' Tsunade said. 'I'll becoming in two weeks to "visit". That's all you have to hold onto. Do you think you can do that for me?'

A bitter taste came in my mouth. It was the poison of my mind that wanted to lash out to her and blame her for all of my agony. But in truth, I was the only one to blame.
I just nodded again.

Pulling me in a tight embrace, she whispered for the millionth time it was going to be alright.

'If you don't feel well…' she paused. I could see in she didn't quite know how to put it. Shoving a bottle of pill into my hand, she explained that if I felt… bad or had dark thoughts it was no shame to take a medication to ease your mind. 'Like all wounds, it needs time and patience to heal. Sometimes a tranquilizer helps, even if only a little, Sakura.'

'I'll be fine,' I monotonously say while holding onto it. I had no intent on taking it but I stared at it for a second. Without saying much I turned around and got in.

I waved goodbye, trying to force a smile on my lips. But it seemed my body had decided to stop obeying my commands. With a solemn expression and another reassuring nod, I told her my mentor goodbye.

Sitting by myself, it sunk in I was going to have to face Zabuza again. Over time, my hate from him had grown. I had foolishly let myself get played by him and it scared me that he wasn't finished torturing me just yet. I don't know if I'll be able to control myself when I see him…

When the door of the carriage opened again, I hardly looked up. No one I personally knew had taken it upon themselves to ride with me. After a long ride, we'd have to go by boat. It would be a long journey.

I suddenly feared what my mind would do to me. I let out a sigh and throw my head against the back of the couch I was sitting on.

Staring at the green view of what was still a part of Konoha. I glance down at my lap and open my hand, staring at the bottle of pills again. Maybe I should get ahead of things…

'Is there anything you need before leaving, doctor Haruno?'

The dominant deep voice shook me awake and with a snap of my head I looked into the man's direction. His familiar brown eyes send me in a state of shock.

'I-Ibiki,' I gasp. He only nods and gives me a cold smile in return.

'Are you ready?' He then asked. He behaved very formal, as if we had no past that tied us together.

I just nodded uncertainly while questioning if it was safe for me to be with him. A million scenarios went through my head. I had harmed this man, even if it had happened rather unwillingly and a little out of my control. His life had been a hell for years now.

I knew Tsunade trusted him but… I suddenly was wary of what could be happening. Another trap!

I didn't trust anyone.

'Are you going to kill me?' I blurt out.

He frowns at the question but I assume my impassive expression gives him little to no answer. He shakes his head in respond.

'Why do you think that?'

'To get rid of me…' I murmur at first, afraid to say it out loud. 'Revenge,' I eventually say more clearly.

'I have no need to harm you, Sakura,' he calmly states. We finally start moving, yet I feel frantic about this long trip with a man that has little reason to be kind towards me.
I can't find the words to speak, even my body is having a hard time evoking any type of emotion. I was almost ready to welcome any form of punishment from him. Already accepting my new fate.

'Although,' he suddenly says, 'I can't say I haven't thought about it. I don't believe you deserve the treatment you are getting. But like Tsunade has said, it is all futile now. We need to end our bloody ways.'

I fearfully swallow, feeling the coward in me squirm under his cold glare. Uncomfortably I shift in my seat. Though we couldn't be further apart from one another. He was sitting diagonally from me.

'However, I do think that Kiri is the prison you deserve. I don't know how long your sentence will be. According to Tsunade not too long.'

'Is that why you decided to accept this mission?' His words had cut but it felt relieving, just like when I had cut myself with the mirror. The red marks on my fist were still visible, I didn't bother to hide or take care of them. Perhaps I was finally getting what I deserved...

'I wanted to see you one more time,' he admitted. His brown eyes held something odd in them. I had gotten so used to looking down when people were talking to me, that I now had to fight the urge to the same thing. I figured I owe him the respect to look him in the eye when he was speaking.

'I worried a lot about you,' he continued. 'I thought you were held against you will. And I believed in that theory until… a few weeks ago.'

I bite my lip. Not being able to help myself, I stare at the bottle resting in the palm of my hands. No medicine could make this horrible feeling go away. Not even as a doctor I could believe that.

'You'll be reunited soon.'

I felt a burning feeling inside of my chest at the thought. It was hate again. Pure all-consuming hate.

The entire ride we stayed silent. Time going agonizingly slow.

Feeling sick, I got out of the bed. The entire time the boat had been going side to side. Even though they had promised steady weather, the sea was not at ease. It had rained all day and now the wind was interfering as well. I couldn't sleep.

Dragging my feet, I decided to get something to drink. We we're traveling with small group but it seemed only Ibiki was aware of what I had done. To everyone else I was still a person that I couldn't bear to be anymore, the seemingly innocent kind woman who helped others.

Their kindness salted my wounds and for the most part I seemed to ignore their antics, making them slowly grow a grudge against me for being so uncharacteristically mean. I had heard some say to blame it on the grief, but I knew better.

The boat was rocking and I had to hold on to the wall to not fall over. Quietly I walked into the tiny kitchen, existing only out of two cabinets and a small stove. Grabbing a glass of water, I try to find some calmness in the ruckus.

'Can't sleep?'

With a gasp I turn around to see Ibiki stand behind me. He seemed to follow me wherever I went, always catching me by surprise whenever I thought I had managed to escape his eye.

'I didn't mean to wake you,' I quietly answer, knowing he had gotten out of bed to follow me.

'It is my job to secure your safety.'

'I'm just drinking water,' I shrug, not understanding where he was going with that remark.

He stays quiet for a moment. Like always his brooding expression was hard to see pass and I uncomfortably shifted when he came to stand next to me. The silence was deadly and I regretted getting out of bed. His cold stare was hard to bear. And the constant moving around didn't help. Our shoulders kept contact most of the time but I had a harder time then him keeping my feet grounded. When I lost my balance he grabbed hold of me.

'I spend more than two years beating myself over the fact I hadn't been able to help you,' he quietly started. 'Imagine the shock when Kakashi told me you had seek him out during that party.'
'I never… wanted to betray you,' I answer. My heartbeat increasing dramatically. I felt so afraid. 'But I didn't know on whose side you were for the longest time either,' I add not using a too kind tone.

I curse my temper trying to shield me. He doesn't let it get to him.

'Tsunade does always portray you as a victim,' he snidely remarks. 'You seem to believe the same thing.'
'I'm aware of my mistakes.' My reaction is overly emotional and have to fight the tears whelming up. By reminding myself I have to be quiet for the others sleeping, I manage to keep it in.
'I don't however believe both of you have the same vision. You mostly see yourself as a victim of your own decisions.'
My head snaps up when he says that and his cool brown eyes remain unfazed. Looking me straight in the eyes before lowering his gaze to my hand. I was unaware I had grabbed the bottle of pills with me.
'He really got under your skin didn't he?' he asked me. The question made me shiver.
'I wasn't going to…' I start but halt, not quite sure if I was being honest with myself again. I swallow at the idea of what I had unconsciously thought of doing with these. Take one and get better or take several and be done with it?

Gently grabbing the bottle of pills out of my hand, I stare at how he slowly brings it before his eyes to read the description.
'I don't think you should take one so late in the night,' he simply stated.
'I…' I don't know what to say or do. So I simply stare at the man.

'You know, he never betrayed you,' he suddenly says.
I frown, not quite sure who it is he is referring to.
He smirks at my confusion. 'Never once stated how you two met and what your relationship was.'

Zabuza.

'He isn't a rat like some…'

Inui.

'Your heart is in the right place, Haruno. Don't question yourself so much.'

The revelation of Zabuza not betraying me doesn't do much to me but I try to look more calm and composed. Again, I couldn't manage to fool a trained man like him. He snickers in respond while explaining he does understand our relationship is anything but romantic. He then sends me a look of pity.

'If anything he's going to exploit it as much as he can.'
'I won't let him,' I shake my head at the idea of just letting it all happen without a fight. I could feel my sadness slowly turn into anger, something my mentor told me to not allow to happen. But I couldn't help it, I could feel it build up inside of me.
'You are just tool to him,' he viciously adds. 'And maybe being that is your punishment. So it seems my anger towards you has turned into pity again.'

Seeing as how I'm visible shaken, he lets out a sigh of regret. Telling me to forget what he has just said. We collide when a strong wave hits us and I have to hold onto him for a moment. As I hold on to his clothes, I realize things could've perhaps turned out differently if we had only trusted each other a little bit more.

I cling onto him. Brave enough to look him straight into the eye.

'I'm so sorry,' I tell him. 'I really am.'

Not so s shocked he stares back at me. His expression soften and he surprises me with a more human reaction then I had expected. Placing an arm around my shoulder, he gives me somewhat of a hug.
I respond by wrapping my arms around him. I feel a hot tear escape my eye.

'Like I said, your heart is in the right place, Haruno.'

'Give it a week. Maybe two. I need find a good excuse to visit. Or maybe not. After all, now that I'm retired it is my time to do whatever I want. I can finally use my false promises of once visiting. I've always wanted to see the land of Water! Haha!'

Her flawless face turned a bit more devious. When I asked her what else she had planned on her so called trip, she only giggled. Poor Shizune had a frighten look on her face while whispering through her teeth she was afraid Tsunade was going to spend her entire pension in one night.

I smiled at the two. Feeling a fluttering inside of my chest. A small feeling that echoed loudly throughout my body. I felt strange to smile or feel happy.

Catching a glimpse of my dear friend sending me a worried look. I place a hand on his shoulder, telling him he was not to blame for this situation. Naruto gave me a sad smile in response. We had never talked about politics and we were not going to start now.

'Tsunade knows what she's doing,' I tell him reassuringly.

'Of course I do!' she loudly added.

I pray you certainly do, Tsunade, I tell myself when thinking of our conversation a week ago.

I remind myself of the victorious look in her eyes, the certainty that shone in them. Just because I couldn't see through the darkness, didn't mean I had to lose my faith completely. Yet a venomous voice created havoc in my mind. It was all still going too fast in my opinion.

Here I was, standing in the middle of a new village. Smaller then Konoha but far more vicious. I received odd looks and my appearance stood out. Uncomfortable I turn around to look at Ibiki but he keeps his expression stoic and his eyes on the man before us.

'I apologize, doctor Haruno but the Mizukage was called away for a urgent meeting. She wanted me to tell you that she regrets not being able to welcome you personally but shall seek you out some time soon.'

'T-that is quite alright,' I tell him. I still feel utterly uncomfortable and I'm not quite certain how to act. How much did they know? Was this man involved? Tsunade hadn't mentioned the Mizukage at all.

'We will guide doctor Haruno through our village,' he told Ibiki. 'But perhaps she would like to rest a bit first?'

I shrug while mumbling I do feel tired. I give my eyes the chance to take it all in. I was surrounded by tall buildings. People passed us by but it wasn't nearly as busy as Konoha. The streets weren't exactly clean. A bit poverty around. And above us rested a dull grey sky that reminded me of a place I once called home. The air however was nice and fresh. I take deep breath, allowing myself to like this place. It wasn't the worse environment I suppose. There was even a bit of green here and there. Just nothing blooming… yet.

'Goodbye, Haruno,' Ibiki spoke up. Interrupting my thoughts, I let out a small gasp and turn around to face him. We hadn't spoken much since that one night. But suddenly the idea of not having him following me around, sadden me. It had become something reassuring.
'You are leaving?' I ask. No one has informed of what exactly was going to happen.
He bowed his head. 'Lord Hokage told us there would be no need for us to stay here with you since this a personal trip. Staying here is your own choice, after all.'

When had I ever said that!?

Stunned at his little speech, I didn't respond much when he bowed his head and announced they would be leaving immediately. He did however spared me another look of sympathy before turning around and leaving me.

I watched until they became nothing but black dots in the far distance. I let out a sigh, realizing I was all on my own now.

'I'll take those, doctor Haruno,' the shinobi politely said already trying to take hold of the luggage I was holding. I rise an eyebrow at his brash behavior.

I don't have much of choice now, do I?

I hand over the few bags I had come with and followed the man. He was rather quiet and I couldn't call it much of a guide, since he rarely spoke up. We walked in silence, while I took in my surroundings.

I would never find my way around in this village, everything look pretty much the same. I had crossed a market, a few bridges and grey buildings surrounded me wherever I went. I admit their style held something unique but I couldn't help but think there cylindrical buildings were a bit odd. The height also covered the view of the beautiful mountains in the background and overshadowed everything surrounding them.

Stopping at another tall building, he politely asked me to wait for a minute. Standing all by myself I was immediately approached by a young child. Not older than eight or so. A sharp stab in my heart reminded me of another young boy and suddenly a thrill overwhelmes me.

Haku is here. Somewhere in this village…!

Just as the young boy, dressed in nothing but rags, was about to open his mouth the man returned. Scared by just the mere appearance of the man, the boy ran away before we could talk.
I felt a wave of disappointment come over me.

'Sorry about that,' he muttered. 'Those pest can't seemed to get solved.'
'He's just kid,' I tell him, not minding the boy's approach.
'Aren't they all?' he coldly answered while shrugging. 'Come on,' he then said nodding his head towards the door.

We enter a rather nice looking hallway. It wasn't luxurious but I imagine it was better than most houses around here. After an endless walk of stairs, we finally arrive. Opening the door, he places my bags inside and graciously shows me the room. It was more of a… loft, I suppose. Everything was just in one big room.

'Have nice stay, doctor Haruno,' the man said.

Before I could ask him any more question he closes the door and to my utter surprise I hear the lock click.
'Hey!' I yell at the man but I can hear him walk away from the door. 'What is the meaning of this!?'

Realizing I wasn't going to leave when I please, I let myself drop against the door. I almost want to start crying again but remind myself tears would not help me. I stay put for a few minutes, letting it all sink in. I stare into the room. It is nice.

I frown when I see the bed. It looks ruffled.

Turning my head slightly I catch a bookcase behind the corner. Slowly getting up, I walk to the other side of the room. I see a desk, scrolls, piles of paper and books piled up before a completely filled bookcase that took in half of this side of the room. I gasp when I something grotesque standing beside the desk.

It is a sword.

A large sword. Bigger than me. Whoever wielded it must have enormous strength.

I've heard of this one, I think. I believe it is one of the seven swordsman's swords?

Walking up to inspect it more closely, I see how polished and neat it looks. Must be an attribute. The shimmering of the blade have something eccentric, almost hypnotizing. Like a child, I can't help myself and have the need to touch it. It feels cool. Again, I can't get over how enormous it is. Just realizing that I have to look up to see the handle, remind me of that. When I look back down I see a pair of cool brown eyes stare back at me in the reflection.

Startle I turn around to see none other than Zabuza.

'Do you like it?' he asks with a snicker. 'Doesn't have that affect on most women.'

'You!' I yell. 'What are you doing here!?'

'I live here,' he answered with a delighted smirk. 'Not a very polite way to greet your host.'
'What!' I scream, horrified by his answer.
'Where exactly did you think you'd be staying?' he tauntingly asked.

'A hotel!' I scream at him. I get annoyed when I see his smirk widen at my reaction. He's looking much like his demon self again. And I get a feeling he's enjoying the panic he sees running through my body.

'Why bother?' he shrugged. 'You would wind up in here, anyways.'
As despicably as he was, he dared to even nod to the bed behind him.

Losing the battle of self-control, I launched at him. His outrageously disgusting way of talking was more than I could bear for the moment. I supposed my built up hate was another adding source to the extreme violent outburst.

'You're nothing but a vile, disgusting man!' I scream at him. I manage to hit him here and there but only because he allows me to. He catches my fists with ease and is seemingly angered by my outburst, hold them tighter than he should.

'Easy there now, Sakura,' he hisses.
'Did you plan it!' I ask him. I had been asking this question over and over in my head and only his rotten mouth could provide me with the answer. 'While you were sleeping with me, did you plan his murder in your head? You are so sick, Zabuza!' 'Stop that,' he hissed again. 'You really are a demon from hell!' I spat at him.
Having enough, he slaps me in the face. I gasp out in pain and when his hands lets go of mine, I hold on to it. Staring at him in shock, his expression darkened.
'Don't act like you hadn't thought of it either. I did you favor by getting rid of that guy—'he wasn't just some guy!' I scream again.
'The love of your life,' he sarcastically added at my grieving expression. Widening my eyes at his cruel talk, I lose it again. I can't help it. Again I launch myself at him, screaming and kicking him all I could.

He simply laughed at me, turning us around to avoid a few of my kicks. I hated this man so much. This vile creature had seeped its way into my life and now was just laughing at me, taunting me.
'Don't worry. Haven't you heard? Now I'm the love of your life,' he then adds with cold laugh.
I somehow manage to slap him in the face and then spit on it. The anger I had held inside for months now was taking complete control of me, I was beyond myself.

'You're nothing,' I hiss. 'You're worse than scum!'

Furiously he wiped my saliva off his face and with the back of his hand he hits me again, this time sending my flying on the bed. My vision blacked for a moment. With a groan I tried to get up but his hand around my throat pins me down. My hands reach for his but have no effect, he doesn't even loosen his grip one bit when my nails scratch on his knuckles.

'Not exactly the welcome I was hoping for,' he angrily said on a low tone. 'But we'll talk later.'

Harshly shoving me deeper into the matrass before letting go, he glared at me before turning around. Walking towards the large sword, he grabbed the handle and lifted the blade onto his shoulders.
Though I was still recovering from what had just happened, I half get up to look at what he was planning on doing. Standing tall, with the blade shimmering behind him, he gives me an ominous look.

'I have to go.'

Only now I felt frighten by him. Swallowing in response, I wince when I feel the pain my right cheek where he had hit me.

Without a word, he turned around and left. I keep my eyes on him until he walks through the doorway and closes the door loudly behind him.

I let myself drop into the bed when I hear the door get lock again. My heart was beating erratically and I the searing pain on my cheek was making my vision blurry. I almost black out again. But my mind keeps me awake. Yet I eventually gave into the feeling of closing my eyes. I silently start to sob.

I was in his house. I was imprisoned in his personal hell.

Unable to control my emotions, I can't stop the tears from coming. Like a pitiful woman, I start to cry loudly. I couldn't hold it in any longer.

'Sakura?'

The young voice was light and kind. And I'm so startled, I immediately stop. Slowly getting up again, I see a young man standing in the middle of the room. He's wearing a typical shinobi uniform of here and has a handsome defined face. He smiles at me when our eyes meet.

A familiar kind smile. One that was all but fake.

I smile back.

'Haku?!'

Thanks for reading!