Draco had always known that he would get a soulmate. Everyone has one. Even muggles and Magical Creatures. Most Magical Children are born with the name already on them but not Draco. His father worried that it meant he was a squib. Despite squibs also having soulmates. Logic sometimes can become lost when paranoia takes over.
It took six healers and even a foreign ambassador of unique medicines before Lucius would believe that Draco was not actually a squib. It was advised that the mark would appear at its own rate.
At first, he wondered why everyone else seemed to look at him with pity. It wasn't his fault that the name hadn't showed up yet. It didn't bother him that it wasn't just there, he knew that he would one day get his mark too.
When he was four, it was announced in the Daily Prophet that the heir of the Malfoy line still hadn't received a soulmate. Which was the longest any wizard child had gone without a mark in over two centuries.
Whispers aren't as quiet as some believe. Draco heard other kids his age teasing him for being unlovable. That's what they all told him. That he didn't have a mark because no one was made to love him.
… But that wasn't true. Draco knew that there was someone out there for him. He knew there was. There just had to be, right?
"Maybe we should find an eligible pureblood who lost their soulmate. That way it doesn't matter if Draco gets a soulmate or not."
Draco froze in the hallway at his father's words. No. They couldn't do this! He did have a soulmate, he did! He bit his lip as he looked down at his palms, where there was supposed to be someone's name.
"If he gets a soulmate after a contract is made, the soulmate can fight the marriage in court." His mother pointed out, with little emotion. As if they weren't discussing Draco's entire future.
"If being the operative word." Lucius drawled. "I won't sign anything, but I will begin a search."
That was enough for Draco. He walked quietly and quickly out of the hallway before he made a run for his bedroom. He closed the door silently before he grabbed his duvet and burrowed underneath his bed.
There was a feeling of being protected down there, no one could harm him if they couldn't find him. Draco decided that he wasn't going to come out until he got his soulmate mark.
It wasn't too long before the rumbling of his stomach let him know that it was getting close to dinner, but Draco wasn't going to do it. He wasn't going to cave. Strength and inner will is required if one wants to succeed in life. So, he knew that he could do this.
*Pop*
"Master Draco." Dobby squeaked out in confusion. "Dinner is prepared."
Draco held his breath, knowing that the elf would hear him if he breathed. If he could hide from Dobby, then he could definitely hide from his father.
When the comforter was lifted up and Draco looked up into giant curious eyes, he let out his breath in disappointment.
"Is Master Draco… alright?"
Draco shook his head rapidly. "No, Dobby. Father wants to marry me off because he thinks I won't ever get a soulmate!"
A tiny sigh escaped Dobby as he crawled underneath the bed and peered at Draco intently. "Soulmates can't be rushed or hurried. Yours will come in due time."
That had Draco looking down at his palms. "I know." He sniffled. It was true, he did know this. Something in his gut told him that he would get his mark one day. He just wished that it was sooner rather than later.
"Do you have a soulmate, Dobby?" Draco asked curiously, wiping his eyes and choosing to put this behind him for now.
"Dobby does!" The elf's ears wiggled drastically and it had Draco smiling softly.
"Can I see?" He bit his lip a little worriedly, he knew that soulmates were touchy subjects sometimes and he didn't want to make the elf mad at him. Dobby was the only nice thing about the Manor.
Dobby gently placed his hand in Draco's and showed him his palm. In soft cursive writing was clearly another house elf's name. "Winky?"
When Dobby nodded his head so rapidly that his ears flopped forward, Draco let out a little laugh that he hoped didn't sound like a giggle. "What are they like?"
"Winky…" Dobby paused to smile lightly. "Winky is kind and hard working."
Draco looked around when Dobby didn't elaborate. He wanted to ask what else Winky was like but it seemed that Dobby and he had different ideas on compliments.
When Draco's stomach rumbled again, Dobby's ears fell flat and he looked horrified. "Master Draco, dinner is late."
"Can I eat here?" Draco begged, not allowing Dobby's hand to retreat, he liked the comfort of someone else. "I don't want to go down there." Especially not after hearing his parents talk.
Dobby sighed before gently pulling his hand away. Draco would have said something but then Dobby pulled him into a hug. His eyes stung at the contact, he had never had a hug before.
Before Draco could really enjoy the hug, Dobby had apparated away. Draco hadn't decided if he was going to actually go down to dinner or not. His stomach was making this very hard for him but his stubborn will still stood a chance.
Another *Pop* had Draco peeking his head out from under the bed in surprise. His brows arched at the sight of Dobby holding a plate of food.
"Dobby has brought dinner to Draco. Master Malfoy and Mistress Narcissa have already retired for the night.
"Of course they have." Draco didn't let it bother him. They had always been like this.
When Draco reached his hands out, he caught the surprise in Dobby's eyes at the fact that he wanted to eat under the bed. "I feel safe down here." He whispered, not meeting the elf's eyes as he gently placed the plate next to him and slid back underneath.
The sound of Dobby crawling down with him, had Draco wondering if this is what a friend was like. Would a friend do this? Was Dobby his friend?
Draco took his roll and snapped it in two before reaching out his hand.
"No, Mater Draco." Dobby denied with his head shaking and ears moving. "It's not proper." As if the hug they shared earlier hadn't been improper too.
"I don't care." Draco whispered. "I don't want to be proper."
When Dobby still wouldn't take it, Draco refused to move his hand. "Dobby, please. It's the only thing I have to repay you. I have nothing else to offer."
Dobby tentatively took the bread with slightly shaking fingers. "Master Draco is…wrong." There was a pause as Dobby slapped himself on the leg hard for speaking out against him. "Young Master has a lot to offer."
Draco looked down as he felt his face heat up slightly. He may only be five but even he knew that no one deserved to be treated the way a house elf was. "Maybe, I can free you one day." Dobby had always been the only one to treat him with an ounce of kindness.
His statement didn't warrant any response but Draco didn't expect a reply. He spent the rest of his meal trying to convince Dobby to eat half his food.
When Draco was six, he felt his left palm begin to burn. The shock of it had him worried before his heart stopped at the realization of what this meant.
Draco ran to his room and didn't bother trying to muffle his steps nor did he care that he wasn't behaving with proper decorum. He slammed the door shut and went straight underneath the bed.
The pain wasn't as bad as when it first began but it was still the most excruciating thing he had ever felt. He bit his lip hard to stop a whimper from escaping. His eyes clenched tightly to keep his tears at bay.
Only when the scorching agony had dissipated, did Draco open his eyes and peer down at his palm.
Harry Potter.
Draco's palm was stinging but that didn't stop him from tracing the name reverently. "Harry." He choked out with a small smile.
Vindicated. He had always known that he had a soulmate.
"Dobby!"
The elf apparated underneath the bed, not even remotely surprised at the destination.
"Is Master Draco alright?" Dobby's voice was full of concern and must have noticed the small tear tracks.
Draco decided to show him instead of voicing it. He thrusted his hand outward, proudly displaying his mark. The skin surrounding the name was red and puffy but Draco thought it was beautiful. Because this was the mark of his soulmate. Nothing could ever be more beautiful to him.
"Oh." The tone of Dobby's voice was of surprise but mainly delight. His ears were wiggling and he clapped his hands together. "Master Draco should tell Master Malfoy."
That had Draco biting his lip. "Tomorrow." He decided hastily. "I'll tell him tomorrow." Duty and responsibilities could be handled then. Right now… right now, he just wanted to imagine the possibilities and picture his soulmate.
Draco reached out his hand and tried to reach his pillow on top of the bed but his arm was just out of reach. A small *snap* could be heard and suddenly the pillow was in his hands. "Thank you." Draco whispered shyly as he settled on the ground. Dobby liked to pretend that he didn't use his magic to help but Draco knew better. He knew that hadn't been him.
"If you don't have work to do, can you stay?" Draco whispered, patting the other half of the pillow. He knew that he was once again being improper but he just didn't care.
A heavy sigh was all he could hear and Draco had to bite his lip to stop from smiling. He knew that sigh. That was the one the elf would make when Draco got his way.
He didn't look to the right when he felt the weight of another head on the pillow, he kept his eyes on the bottom of his bedframe. "Do you think he will love me?" Draco asked as he ran his fingers against the name.
"Yes Master Draco."
Draco closed his eyes and tried to imagine what Harry would look like. "What if he doesn't want to love a boy?"
"Then he wouldn't have been made your soulmate."
He knew that Dobby was saying that to make him feel better but they both knew that sometimes people didn't want someone of the same gender.
"He's beautiful." Draco whispered, picturing every possibility his mind could come up with. It didn't matter what Harry looked like. He would love him no matter what.
A breathy sound that might have been a chuckle was released and it had Draco peering curiously at Dobby. The elf was staring at the bedframe but had a small smile on his face.
"I can't wait to meet him." Draco continued, looking back at the frame. "I wish he could save me." He paused for a moment. "He could save you too."
"Perhaps." The elf conceded in a tone that Draco knew meant he was just humoring him.
Draco stood rigidly still as his father inspected his hand closely. He wished that Dobby could be in here but he didn't want to make it obvious that he was friends with the elf. His father wouldn't appreciate that.
"Harry Potter." The tone was of confusion and Draco wondered what could be the problem.
"Narcissa, what was the name of the Potter child?"
The question had Draco sucking in a breath as he tried to keep his face passive. He glanced towards his mother, who was reading the Daily Prophet, not interested in who her son's soulmate was in the slightest.
"Don't know." She drawled, flipping a page. "The name was never released to the public after all three of them were found dead." Narcissa gave Lucius a pointed look, one that Draco didn't understand at all.
Dead. Draco clenched his fist tightly, not caring that his nails were digging into his skin. There was no way that Harry was dead. That couldn't be true. He couldn't have waited for his soulmate just to find out that he had died. That wasn't fair.
Lucius made a thoughtful noise. "I suppose I could look around and figure out if there are any Harry Potters around. It might be a distant relative of the Potter line."
Hope was beginning to sprout inside of Draco and he clung to it harder than he had ever dreamed possible. A reality with Harry dead was one that he refused to accept.
Each year that passed was getting harder and harder for Draco to bear. His father would sporadically call him into the study to announce another dead end. His heart broke a little every time.
It was hard to maintain a straight face and deny the pain inside of him. His father may be a lot of things but he did have the best resources money could buy. He knew that if anyone could find Harry, that his father's contacts would.
This was a bad sign. If Harry wasn't found soon, then Draco was going to have to consider the possibility that Harry might actually be dead. Which would kill his spirit in the process.
"Draco, I have searched all possible connections in all countries for a Harry Potter."
Draco had his hands behind his back but they were wringing together in a show of nerves. At least no one would see them.
"There is no wizard born of that name."
His father didn't hold any sympathy and his tone was of pure boredom.
"What about non-wizards?" Draco knew he had made a mistake the moment his father snapped his head up and glared hotly at him.
"Say that again."
Draco knew better than to repeat it. But he also knew that saying nothing was going to result in a punishment.
Only a few seconds of indecision had passed but it was enough for Lucius to come to his own conclusion. A whoosh of air could be heard as his father slashed his wand.
Draco screamed as his body hit the floor and white-hot pain seared his entire being. His muscles seized up in a way that he had never experienced before and his throat was already beginning to hurt from the screams as they tore out of his frame. The pain was agony, it was unlike anything he had ever felt and he would do anything to stop it.
It took several moments before he realized that his father had stopped the spell. Draco tried to sit up but his quaking arms couldn't hold him up and it caused him to just fall back down.
"No heir of the Malfoy line will be involved with a muggle." It was spat out so harshly that Draco would have flinched if he could move.
"If there is no Harry Potter in the next few years, you will marry someone of my choosing."
Draco knew better than to disagree with his father but he couldn't bring himself to agree. Because under no circumstances was he going to marry someone that wasn't his soulmate.
The sound of his father's footsteps could be heard making their way towards the door and Draco breathed a sigh of relief. The pain in his body was still preventing him from moving, so he kept still. His palm was already facing upwards, making it easy to just tilt a little till he could see the mark.
"Harry." Draco whispered, closing his eyes tightly. This would all be worth it one day. He could handle more of this as long as Harry would be at the end.
"I heard Malfoy's soulmate is a muggle."
Draco sighed heavily as he pushed his way through a group of Ravenclaws. Whoever said that only Slytherins could be dicks, must surely be delusional.
"Going to throw them to the side because of blood purity?" Someone behind him taunted angrily. As if they know anything about him.
"Unless of course your soulmate is just as much as a pretentious prick as you are."
Draco spun around angrily and noticed that they had attracted a rather large crowd. He withdrew his wand and ignored the observers. "Say what you will about me but don't say a word against my soulmate. You know nothing."
"Neither do you." The boy continued with a smirk that lowered his appearance aesthetically. "You think your soulmate will actually like who you are?" There was a pause as the boy looked around at the listeners. "Who could ever want you?"
That had Draco's fists clenching and he breathed through his nose, calming himself down. "I don't care if my soulmate is a muggle." He knew that most people wouldn't believe him but that didn't matter. None of their opinions held any weight.
"I'll love him anyways." He watched the older boy jerk backwards in surprise and it was enough of a distraction that Draco was able to shove his way past a few slack jawed onlookers and make his way towards his dormitory.
It took two days before the news of what he said had reached his father's ears. The sight of a howler had all eyes on him during breakfast.
Draco feared for what would happen when the school year was over. Summer was not something he looked forward to in the slightest.
He picked up the howler and threw it on the floor before he shot a bombarda right at it. Chaos ensued right after it exploded in a puff of shredded parchment.
A week's worth of detention and a trip with Hagrid into the Forbidden Forest was worth it. Not having to hear his father's voice screaming at him for being a disappointment was worth it.
"Did you mean it?"
Draco looked up and sighed heavily at the sight of Granger sitting next to him. Defense Against the Dark Arts hadn't started yet and he had been hoping to have the table to himself.
"You'll have to be more specific than that. I say a lot of things."
Granger huffed impatiently. "Will you really love your soulmate if they turn out to be a muggle?"
"Granger I wouldn't care if my soulmate turned out to be a werewolf." He paused when Professor Lupin let out a strangled noise. Well, that was weird. Not that the man wasn't already weird.
Draco looked back to Granger and noticed her calculating look. He sighed heavily before gesturing towards her hand, where her soulmate's name was gleaming. "You were lucky enough to have already found your soulmate." He wondered if Weasley was around, they hardly went anywhere without each other.
"You don't know what it's like not knowing who they are." Draco's hands were covered in dragon hide gloves because his father refused to allow anyone the chance of seeing a potential muggle on his palm.
"I wonder sometimes whether he is already dead or just not born yet. I wonder what he will be like and what kind of person he is. I don't care if he is a muggle because all I want from him is to be safe and whole." He stopped when he realized that he had already said too much.
"I just want him." Draco stood up rapidly, grabbing his books. "Excuse me, this isn't my seat."
He made his way towards the back of the room, ignoring the way Granger and Lupin were staring at him. Draco just wished people would leave him alone. Why did they care? It wasn't as if they were the ones that were going to be with Harry.
"Mister Malfoy, could I have a word with you."
Draco groaned internally before he stepped to the side and allowed the rest of the class to leave. He glanced towards Professor Lupin and wondered what he had done to warrant this. He hadn't cheated this time.
"Why did you refuse to go in front of the boggart?"
The question had Draco looking away. He could lie and give an excuse but he had a feeling that Lupin would see past that.
"Have you ever met my father, sir?"
He could tell that the question had thrown the Professor some. Probably not understanding where the change of subject was coming from.
"A few times."
Draco fixed the strap of his bag, clutching it closer to him. "Then you know exactly what he is like. I figured it would be better if I spared the rest of the students the pleasure of meeting him."
He looked down when a slightly distressed sound came from Lupin. He didn't want to see pity in his eyes. Didn't want to be looked at differently.
"Thank you for telling me. As long as you can actively perform the spell, then I won't make you do the exercise."
"Thank you." Gratitude was hard sometimes but Draco knew that he had to express it this time. He needed the man to know that he really did appreciate it. When he peered up at the man, he noticed that Lupin's hand was held loosely for the first time all year and he was able to make out the writing on his palm.
Draco cleared his throat a little hesitantly. "Sirius Black is innocent." He whispered before turning around and heading towards the door. That was one thing his father found humorous.
"I know." The whispered declaration was barely heard but as Draco closed the door behind him, he realized that other people also had horrible situations with their soulmates as well. He couldn't imagine what Lupin or Black was going through.
Draco limped through his bedroom door and closed it lightly, not wanting to anger his father even further by making noise. He had barely made it to his bed before his good leg gave out.
He knew what he was supposed to do. He knew what a proper pureblood heir would do but he didn't care. Draco refused to marry anyone his father set up. He would sooner run away than marry Astoria. She seemed nice enough but she wasn't Harry. She wasn't who he wanted.
Draco blinked at the ceiling, willing the tears not to fall. Why should he have to give up a piece of himself to find love? Why should he sacrifice his heart to find success? Why couldn't they go hand in hand? If marrying Astoria meant being a Malfoy, then he didn't want that. Didn't want to be the heir his father wanted. He couldn't.
He traced Harry's name and wished with everything that he had that he could see him. Even if Harry didn't want him as a soulmate, just one look would satisfy him enough to move on. If his soulmate just wanted to be friends, he could do that. It would hurt but he would do anything to keep Harry. He just needed to find him first.
… But he couldn't help but hope that Harry would want him as more than a friend. He wanted to be loved. Because despite everything set against him, he loved Harry Potter.
"Harry." The whisper was a cry for help as much as it was to bring comfort. He wished that somehow his soulmate could save him.
Draco knew that he was too old and far too big to fit underneath his bed but his heart and mind couldn't take reality anymore. His hands were shaking and his body shivering.
You will kill Dumbledore.
The order from a madman. He had always known that his father had followed the Dark Lord, but he had never thought that the man would look like that. That was a walking nightmare.
His mind was racing, trying to come up with any kind of way out of this. He didn't want to kill Dumbledore. Nor did he have a reason to. How could the Dark Lord expect him to be able to kill a man as powerful as the Headmaster?
The sound of a scream in the distance had Draco swearing as he crawled out from underneath the bed and ran towards his potion bag. He bit his lip in concentration as he added more ingredients. He knew that the difference in species would cause the potions to be less potent and he needed to act quickly if he was going to be of any help.
When the screams stopped, he knew that it was now or never.
"Dobby." He whispered softly.
The sound of the apparation was muffled and he knew that was the elf's way of helping him.
"What happened?" Draco cried at the sight of Dobby. He had known it would be bad but not this bad. The elf was bleeding profusely, cuts and bruises marring his features. He began pulling out more potions and even a few dittany bottles.
"Dobby was used as a test subject as punishment for not having the guest of Master Malfoy's food warm enough."
As if the Dark Lord couldn't have used a heating charm on his already hot soup. Draco cursed the existence of that man as he set out to heal Dobby the best he could.
"Things are changing." Draco whispered, not meeting Dobby's eyes. "This house has never been a good place for either of us. I can't change my fate." He clenched his eyes, hoping that he wouldn't cry. "But I can change yours."
"Master Draco what—" Dobby gasped as a sock was placed in his hands.
The enraged scream of his father could be heard. Draco knew that the bond between Master and elf had been severed.
"I should have set you free a long time ago." The tears were falling but Draco couldn't stop them. "But I was too selfish. You were all I had and for that I am sorry. So sorry." He hastily put away his potions and tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever his father could come up with.
"Forgive me, Dobby." Draco croaked. "I should've had your best interests at heart but I didn't."
"Dobby would have wanted to stay to protect Master Draco." Dobby cried out, throwing himself at Draco.
"I know." Draco's breathing was shaky as he clung to the second hug he has ever had. "But you don't have to anymore. I'll find a way to protect myself. You are a free elf."
Dobby shook his head sadly as his ears were drooped and tears falling. "Dobby doesn't want to be free if Master Draco is left behind."
That was the point where Draco's heart shattered. He knew what kind of life Dobby had here and to think that the elf would stay for him was the sweetest but most crushing thing he had ever experienced.
The sound of footsteps coming closer had Draco panicking. He pushed Dobby away from him. "Go! Before he comes in here! Go on, you are free!"
Dobby narrowed his eyes and clutched the sock to his heart. "Dobby is a free elf. He has no Master."
Draco nodded his head distractedly as he looked towards the door, where he knew his father was going to come in at any moment.
"If Dobby wishes young Draco to be free too, then he will take Draco with him."
"Huh?" Draco snapped his head towards Dobby at the same moment his door was swung open.
The last thing Draco saw was a determined gleam in Dobby's eyes, a soft hand on his arm and then the crack of an apparation as they disappeared.
"We have got to work on your landing." Draco groaned as his back hit what seemed to be some kind of hard surface. He trusted Dobby enough to know that they weren't somewhere dangerous, so he didn't bother opening his eyes. "I can't believe you did that. My father is going to kill me."
"He was going to kill young Draco if you stayed." Dobby whispered back, which was unusual considering the elf was nearly always loud.
"It would've been worth it." Draco stretched out his hand until he was able to grab hold of Dobby's much smaller one. "I was able to free you, Dobby. What he did with me didn't matter. I would've died by the end of the year anyways." Considering the order that had been demanded of him. He would have died by Dumbledore's hand or the Dark Lord's for failing.
Draco opened his eyes and noticed that the ceiling of the room they were in was horrid. Cobwebs were everywhere and the ceiling was so aged that cracks could be seen and even broken pieces falling occasionally.
"Where the hell are we?"
"Dobby knew that only Albus Dumbledore could help Draco now."
Draco sat up suddenly and groaned miserably at the fact that he was literally on a table in front of an entire meeting of people. They were on the receiving end of quite a few incredulous stares.
"Oh, Merlin."
The sight of Dumbledore's twinkling eyes was not as comforting as the man thought it should be.
There wasn't much choice now that Draco was here. If he really was going to leave his father, then he needed options. He would have preferred to not have joined the opposite side, or any side really. He wanted to be on the side that would guarantee his life.
After telling the Headmaster and what he now realized was the Order of the Phoenix exactly what had happened, he was waiting somewhat impatiently for them to come to some sort of conclusion.
"Would anyone be willing to vouch for Draco?" Dumbledore asked the room at large.
"I will." Two voices spoke up.
Draco wasn't really surprised that his godfather was here. He had always known that the man was a spy but he wasn't sure what kind. A double agent? A triple? That would be decided at a later date. He peered at Lupin, the second person to speak up and wondered why the man would bother.
Lupin smiled softly at him with understanding in his eyes. Draco wasn't sure what the man saw in him but he wasn't going to turn it away. He noticed that his old Professor's hand was entwined with someone else's.
Draco didn't need to see Lupin's name on the man's palm to know that this was Sirius Black. He could see features of his mother and Aunt in the man.
Black leaned forward with mischief in his eyes and a slight smirk. "Well, aren't you just intriguing."
He wasn't sure whether to take that as a compliment or not.
Being on the side fighting for justice is not as glamourous as some would believe. Draco abhorred the violence and despised their living conditions. Sometimes, as he woke up on a lumpy cot in a tent that smelled like animal piss, he debated about whether death was preferable to this.
"It's really not."
Draco looked to the ceiling of the tent and tried to control his annoyance. He looked over at Lovegood, who was doing god knows what near the middle of the tent on the floor. "Care to elaborate?" He drawled, with one brow arched.
"Whatever you were thinking, that's the answer."
"I'm not even going to ask how you knew that." He sat up and stretched his muscles. "It isn't worth the roundabout reply nor the headache that I will get trying to figure you out."
Lovegood smiled brightly as her eyes were closed and she seemed to be doing some form of meditation. He could smell something foul coming from a candle and noticed several crystals surrounding her in a circle. "I'm easy to read as long as one knows what they are looking for."
"Nice try." Draco shook his head, moving towards the table where Granger, Weasley, Longbottom, Lupin and Black were sitting. "But I'm not falling for that one."
When Longbottom opened his mouth, Draco picked up Black's fork and held it threateningly. "If you start a long-winded spiel on how you see the beauty to Lovegood one more time, I am going to castrate you with this."
The other boy made a horrified noise before he got up and moved closer to Lovegood. Nice to know which one was the protective one out of the two of them.
Draco sat in the previously vacated seat and despised the fact that he shared a living space with paired soulmates. It was disheartening to see so many happy couples. He hated it.
"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Granger quipped somewhat fondly.
"Don't test me." He told her with his cheek on his hands.
"Dobby stopped by earlier."
Draco sat up, startling everyone else. "Why didn't he wake me?" He ignored the odd looks they would send him every time it was reminded that he was friends with the elf.
"He said that you needed your sleep and he will be back tomorrow."
That had Draco grumbling a little but he nodded his head. "Did he give any messages?"
Lupin hesitated and Draco already knew what the man was going to say.
"He said that the criteria you gave him ended up with no results."
Draco's heart broke slightly but it was quickly becoming something he was used to. "Alright." He pretended not to notice the way his voice cracked.
"What… are you looking for?" Granger asked hesitantly, probably worried he would snap at her.
"My soulmate."
There was an uncomfortable silence that surrounded the tent and he knew that they couldn't relate. They all found love at Hogwarts.
"Is he really a muggle?" Longbottom asked behind the safety of Lovegood.
"Don't know." Draco offered generously. "But I love him." His tone was hard and clearly daring any of them to disagree.
"How can you—" Weasley was cut off by the very obvious stomping of Granger's foot.
Draco stood up and made his way towards the entrance of the tent. "Sometimes, when you grow up with no love, you have an abundance of it stored up to give away. He was made to be my soulmate and I will love him no matter who he is. Because that's all I can do."
Everyone had learned pretty quickly that Draco wasn't much of a talker. Oh, he would chime in with a sarcastic comment from time to time and definitely let everyone know when he was displeased, but he never volunteered information about himself or his childhood.
The only thing anyone could get him to talk about was soulmates. So, when they felt that he should be included in on conversations, they would tease him.
"What if he's ugly?" Weasley asked curiously, sidestepping Granger's slap of disagreement.
Draco shook his head. "He won't be." He could tell that Weasley wasn't getting what he was saying. "I'm not suggesting that he will look like the perfect specimen of good looks. I am saying that to me he will be beautiful no matter what he looks like."
"Even if he has no teeth and his hair is balding in splotches."
The description had Draco sighing heavily. "Even then."
"That's sweet." Granger and Weaslette said in unison.
"What if he's a murderer? Like mass murderer?" Longbottom piped up, getting involved in the conversation.
"Maybe he'll give me tips for the next time you lot annoy me."
Black snorted from the kitchen area of the tent, clearly listening in.
"Ooo, what if he's mental?" Weaslette wondered.
"Who isn't these days?" Draco retorted stretching out on his cot. "Nothing you throw at me will make me doubt my feelings. I will be proud of whoever he is." Draco shook his head when they all exchanged looks. He knew that they didn't understand why he loved Harry already but they just wouldn't get it unless they lived his experiences.
"When the war is over, I am going to search the entire world until I find him." He looked down at his covered hand and smiled softly. Wishing that Harry could be here with him. But also thankful that he was away from the fighting.
"I'm not doing it." Draco folded his arms across his chest and glared at Weasley.
The redhead rolled his eyes and looked around the room for help.
"Draco." Lupin began in a tone that was meant to appease him. "Tomorrow we fight the fifth region. You know what we are up against. It's the last resistance Voldemort has and he could be there."
"Your point?"
"That you could die." Black took over. "If that happens, do you want to leave nothing behind for your soulmate? He should get at least something. A letter, a note, anything. You don't want him thinking that you are still out there if you die."
Draco bit his lip as he grabbed the parchment from Weasley. He knew that survival isn't guaranteed. He could very well die tomorrow or the following day. If he really did die, he didn't want Harry wondering if he was still out there somewhere. If he was going to die, it would be with the knowledge that he had something to guarantee that Harry know how much he meant to him.
It took him hours to be able to get the words to flow the way he wanted them to. Writing to Harry was cathartic in a way but he also ached to be able to say all of this in person. When he said as much as he could, he walked back to where the rest of them were eating dinner. "Here." He handed Weasley the parchment he folded and sealed.
"I'll need a name." Weasley told him with a teasing smile.
Draco bit his lip and looked down at his hand. He hadn't told anyone but his father and Dobby who his soulmate was. The knowledge was private and special. But… if he did die, he would need someone to pass that on.
"Harry Potter."
Black and Lupin dropped their bowls, food splattered everywhere and shouts of surprise could be heard from the rest of the occupants.
Draco peered at them in concern. "Are you alright?"
The way they were staring at him in horror and pity had his throat closing. Did they know Harry? Had he been bunking with the very people who could have told him where his soulmate was?
Before anyone else could say something, alarms went off and everyone jumped to their feet, grabbing their wands.
The front of the tent opened and Granger already had her wand pointed out, ready for the intrusion.
One of the Weasley twins came barging in. "Ambush to the west. It's the fifth region."
Black swore loudly, already making his way towards the entrance.
The redhead gazed past Black and caught Lupin's eyes. "They brought werewolves."
Lupin closed his eyes briefly before he nodded his head.
Draco took one last look at his letter on the table and ran out after everyone else.
Battle isn't as glamorous as books romanticize. There isn't any clarity or brilliant strategies that come to mind in the heat of the moment. Everything is rushed, chaotic and a disaster. Curses, hexes and jinxes jetting around all over the place. It's just as easy to be hit by a stray curse as it is head on against an opponent.
Duels aren't straightforward and anything goes. Multiple people against one or an even fight. The circumstances change drastically within seconds. The morale could be high one minute or horribly low the next. There really was no predicting which side would win during the battle, because the odds were constantly changing. There would be moments where it seemed as if they were losing and death would be inevitable and then a breath later, they would have the upper hand. It was a repeating circle that was more of a distraction than anything.
Draco summoned a shield at the same time he nudged Lovegood out of the way of a curse that would have hit her in the back.
"Get your head out of the clouds and focus on the battle!" He chastised. Draco moved on before she could respond with something that he knew wouldn't make sense.
There were stray body parts scattered on the ground and he didn't have the stomach to see if they were friends or foes. He could see Black fighting Bellatrix in the distance and knew that would be a tough battle. Lupin was fighting Greyback but seemed to be holding his own. Dumbledore and Severus were fighting the Dark Lord, he chose to stay away from that.
The battle itself was winding down. Despite it being an ambush, they had prepared for that. The eldest Weasley son had managed to get the Goblins to send in reinforcements that got in last night. So, the opposition wasn't prepared for that.
He didn't want to get reckless in the assumption that they would win but the evidence was becoming clear that they definitely had more people alive.
"Draco."
Draco froze at the sound of his father's voice, which was a mistake. He was on the receiving end of the familiar pain of a crucio before he could even blink.
"Looks like you are still as pathetic as you always have been."
The insult had nothing on the pain of the curse. Draco had been through this enough times to know that he was strong enough to withhold from making any noise. He had lost count over the years how many times he was in this same position in front of father, writhing on the ground as pain overtook him.
When the spell paused, Draco made to get to his feet. Before he could, "Crucio!" A cruel laugh could be heard but the pain was more intense and harder the second time around to face.
"Did you think I was going to go easy on you?" Lucius spat out angrily. "The only reason I ever stopped after one during your youth was because I couldn't permanently damage my heir. You are nothing to me now. No point in keeping you sane."
Draco knew that his father wouldn't kill him. Death was too easy. He was going to torture him into insanity. Merlin, ruthless must run in the family. The man was going to use Bellatrix's specialty.
By the third time he was under the spell, Draco could feel his mental awareness slipping. He wasn't sure how much he could physically take. His body was so numb that he wouldn't be able to move even if the spells were to cease.
He tried to keep up an Occlumency shield, to keep most of his mind safe but it was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain.
"Crucio!"
It was as if it was an endless cycle. Pain and agony. Over and over. A brief respite before he was once again underneath his father's fury. When his body began jerking both in and out of the spell, he knew that he didn't have much longer. His body was beginning to fail and he could feel his breath leaving him quicker and quicker.
There wasn't a way to tell time. Draco thought that perhaps it had been hours but in reality, it made more sense for it to only have been a few minutes.
His body jerked so harsh that Draco bit his own tongue, the taste of blood was so powerful that he would have retched if his father had allowed for a pause. If there was even a chance that he could get his father to stop, he would have begged until his voice was hoarse. But he knew that would accomplish nothing.
When it finally seemed like his father was going to stop, Draco opened his eyes to see if someone had come to his rescue.
His heart dropped at the sight of his father's triumphant stare, wand pointed at him and wide smirk adorning his face.
Draco closed his eyes and prepared for the spell the best he could. When the excruciating pain once again started back up, he couldn't hold back the tears. The sounds of the battle around them were becoming harder and harder to hear. He knew that his mind wouldn't last much longer.
He used what little strength he could and took off his glove. If he was going to lose himself, it would be with the last thought of Harry's name on his palm.
A crack sounded in the distance but it was barely on his radar as Draco became determined to only notice the cursive of Harry's name. It was becoming harder and harder to make out the letters but he tried to keep the name in his mind.
"You will not harm young Draco further!" There was a scream as Lucius was blasted backwards before a sickening crunch could be heard on the way down.
"Draco."
Draco's mind couldn't tell that he was free of the curse. His body was still jerking and his muscles were trembling hard. He thought he might have recognized Dobby's voice but it was distorted and distant.
"H-Har—" He mourned the loss of not being able to make out Harry's name before everything went black.
There was awareness here and there but mainly Draco couldn't tell whether he was sleeping or not. Sounds were too loud but then too quiet when it mattered. Things were fuzzy and his memory almost nonexistent. The harder he tried to break through it all, the harder it became to stay conscious.
It was as if he was in a maze with his eyes and ears covered, trying to find his way out. The dead ends were his own mind trying to stop him while each correct turn ended in in three more dead ends. It was utterly frustrating.
When he got too upset, his mind would scream at him for hours. Occasionally showing him memories or thoughts that he never wanted to relive.
Despite it all, there was always one goal. He knew that he was supposed to make it out of the maze. He had someone to find, someone to get to.
"Do you know who you are?"
Draco rolled his eyes as he didn't bother looking at his healer. The woman would be replaced by the end of the week. They always were. When they realized that he was broken and would never get better.
"Draco Malfoy."
His tone was harsh and annoyed. He didn't know why she was bothering to ask, they had already been through this yesterday.
"Do you know how long you have been in here?"
That one had him pausing. He didn't know how long it had been since the final battle. Weasley and Granger had stopped by last week? Or was two weeks? Time past by quickly when your mind fails on you.
"No." The admission cost him and he knew his healer knew that.
"Two years."
Draco snapped his head up in horror. It couldn't have been that long. No way. "When was my last visitor?"
"While you were aware?"
The question had Draco wincing. He hated that people stopped by when he was in his episodes. He nodded his head once, hoping she wouldn't make him speak.
"A month."
Draco's brows furrowed. He hated that awareness came and went so quickly. He had the will to get better but his mind didn't want to cooperate. His eyes filled with tears as he angrily wiped them away. Screw his father to hell and back for doing this to him.
"There are a few experimental treatments we would like to try."
Draco nodded his head, not caring what they did to him. It wasn't like he had much of a say so anyways.
"Should we tell Malfoy that I found him?"
Draco wasn't sure who was talking but it was most likely his healers. It was getting a little easier to concentrate but it still required a lot of mental focus.
"Are you sure it's him?" The new voice was familiar but not at the same time.
"Unless there is someone else with the same name. I can keep looking to be sure."
"Better be safe than sorry. This is a big deal."
Draco tried to speak up but the pull of his chaotic mind was stronger.
"I want to leave." Draco demanded the moment he caught sight of his new healer.
The man sighed heavily but he ignored this.
"You aren't well, Mister Malfoy."
Draco glared at the ceiling, clenching his fists tightly. "If you don't allow me room to grow, then I will never get better."
"You are only aware of your surroundings three days out of the week. Occasionally four."
"Half is better than none."
The unimpressed stare he received was done well. Draco almost shifted uncomfortably.
"St. Mungos cannot send you home on these results. If we can get that number up, then we can talk."
Draco spent most of his free time reading potion journals. They wouldn't let him have anything sharp, in case he had an episode, so he wasn't allowed to actually brew any potions. Which he thought was stupid. His episodes just had him retreating into his own mind, not becoming suicidal.
He chucked the journal across the room after the fifth time of reading the bloody thing.
"With that attitude, I might not give you these."
Draco looked over to see Lovegood skip into his room, her bright clothes and happy smile brightening up the room already.
"More potion journals?"
She shook her head slowly and placed a few books on his lap.
Draco's breath caught in his throat when he realized that they were romance novels revolving around soulmates.
"I know they won't let out yet, so that you can look for Harry but I thought that you might appreciate reading stories where they are allowed to look for theirs."
If it was from anyone else, he might have strangled them. But Draco knew that Lovegood wouldn't give him anything that she didn't think he couldn't handle.
"Thank you." He whispered as his thumb caressed his palm subconsciously, running slowly across the raised letters.
She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "I would start with this one."
Lovegood was gone as quickly as she had come in.
Draco peered down at the one she recommended. He arched his brows at the summary.
Lillian spends her life in and out of hospitals, dreaming of a cure for her illness. The healers work around the clock but progress is slow. She looks out the window and watches the world pass by. Somewhere out there, her soulmate is looking for her. Well, at least she hopes they are.
Ashton spent her days in a job she didn't want but was necessary to have if she wanted to have food on the table. The assistant to the assistant of a healer was far from ideal. She was assigned to take notes and check in on patients. A spell could do that. How was she supposed to find her soulmate if she was stuck in St. Agnos every day?
Both of their lives change forever when Ashton is assigned to check in on Lillian. Can they find love on the mind ward?
Draco rolled his eyes at the cheesy summary. He knew that Harry wasn't going to be one of his healers. If that was the case, he would've been able to find him during his searches. Was Lovegood suggesting that his soulmate would find him? Or was he reading too much into it and she was just suggesting that this was a good book?
Either way, Draco flipped open the book and began to read.
Draco opened his eyes and noticed that Weasley and Granger were in his doorway. Usually, they would be sitting by his bed when was forced to endure their company. He had been hoping it would be Lovegood. He had read her last round of books that she stopped by with and one of them ended terribly. This was not what he thought comfort would be like.
"Weasel, what are you doing here?"
A gasp near the foot of his bed had Draco moving his head till he could peer at the person. It was a man near his own age, staring at him in a wonder that he had never experienced before. He looked the guy over and noticed that he was wearing muggle clothing. The person might be a muggle but that didn't make sense, considering the wards over the place. Perhaps they were a muggleborn?
"You don't look like a healer. I would say muggle by your choice of clothing." He paused to look pointedly at the man's outfit. "Not that your fashion sense is any good. Are you here to help me or hurt me?"
Draco took another moment to stare at the man's appearance. He was beautiful in ways that he usually didn't stop to notice about people. Perhaps boredom was affecting him? The guy had black hair ruffled in a mess that was just as chaotic as his own mind at times. Bright green eyes were shining behind glasses that surprisingly complimented his appearance. His skin was several shades darker than his own. Tanned in a way that he knew was natural.
When the guy lifted his hands up in surrender, Draco found himself amused that the guy took him seriously. It wasn't until he noticed the easy way the man showed off his soulmate mark that he looked towards it.
Draco's breath left him in a desperate gasp at his own name spelled out. No. Was this real? His mind had never conjured illusions before. Nor was he ever this lucid during an episode.
When Harry took a step towards him, Draco wasn't sure his heart could beat any faster. Happy endings had never happened to him before. He wanted this to be real. Needed it to be real.
"I'm Harry." Draco's heart skipped a beat when Harry swallowed thickly. "I have waited my whole life to meet you."
That was it. That was all he could handle. Draco knew it wasn't proper nor was it normal, but he couldn't help himself as he lunged for Harry. Being proper was overrated anyways. He wrapped his arms around the man's neck as his legs went around his waist.
The actual touch of his soulmate was too much for Draco. He had been dreaming of this moment since he was a toddler. The thought of being stuck in St. Mungos for so long had killed him to know that he couldn't look for Harry. To have the man here, after everything was just too much. He buried his head in Harry's neck as he croaked out the brunette's name.
When Harry said that he got his letter, Draco snapped his head up in confusion. "But…" He didn't understand that. "Why would you have gotten…" His eyes narrowed when he remembered that only Weasley had been handed that letter.
Draco almost snorted at the sight of the redhead hiding behind Granger when he glanced towards the door.
"I want you to know that it's not silly or insane. I have loved you too."
He almost wanted to hex himself to see if this was real. This was everything he had hoped for and more. Draco's eyes searched Harry's face, memorizing every little detail. All he had ever wanted was his soulmate to be alive and whole. Anything past that was a wish. But to have Harry tell him that he loved him, was everything.
Draco would hate himself if he didn't move in for a kiss. If this did end up being some insane hallucination, then he needed this.
When Harry moved too, Draco almost whimpered at the press of another pair of lips against his own. He had always imagined what this would feel like but it was different than he thought it would be. Harry's lips were firm but gentle. Oh, so gentle. He couldn't help but lift one of his hands to entwine into the thick, messy locks. It was almost grounding in a way. At some point, he might have released a sigh but it was quickly covered up as the kiss deepened.
One kiss wasn't enough. He needed more. They kissed again and again. Draco could spend all day like this, in the arms of his soulmate and those sweet lips on his own.
Draco pressed soft kisses against Harry's face and neck. "I want to know who you are." He hoped that Granger and Weasley were gone but he didn't want to stop looking at Harry. "Everything. Tell me everything."
"That will take a while."
The warning didn't bother Draco. He peered up into happy, sparkling eyes and couldn't help but smile softly. "I have all the time in the world."
It wasn't as if he could go anywhere.
Author's Notes:
At some point soon, I will get to work on the final chapter. It will be an epilogue of sorts.
Dobby and Draco's friendship was the only thing keeping me going during this. I felt so bad for the both of them. But I do like them being friends.
The events of the war didn't go into much detail and that was intentional. It wasn't the main focus of the story but more of a side note. So, if you were wanting to hear more about the war, sorry. If it helps, it was interesting in my own mind. :P
Well, hopefully you all enjoyed this. Until next time.
-XxTheDarkLordxX