Inside These Lines

by lone-poppy

Follows Mike in his new position within SVU and Connie as she works through her new life in LA. Are they happy? Will Connie move back to NY? Warning the fic does have a rape case and a death not of a main character .

8. Ashes

Title: Inside These Lines – Part 8

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Law & Order. This is for entertainment only (and something I would've loved to see happen).

Pairing: Mike/Connie

Summary: With Connie in NY

Notes: This is my first Law & Order fic. I was watching repeats, and I have always loved Mike and Connie, and I was reading DaisyDay's fic, and I've always had an idea for Mike and Connie, but I had to spend a few days trying to work around the LA thing (that I didn't like). I do like Mike in SVU I must admit.

Ashes

I should have told you from the first time I saw your eyes.

Beautiful,

I should have told you all along.

And I just want this love to fade away, to ashes.

Beautiful,

I should have told you from

The first time I saw you smile.

Beautiful,

I should have told you all along.

xXxXxXxXx

A second pair of new jeans, a cream knitted turtle neck and another jacket. Connie again found herself standing at the elevators watching as people got on and off. Each busy with everyday life, their world paused as they entered the hospital.

"Connie?"

Connie turned to find Alex, dressed for work standing next her. Her arm was out of the sling but with plaster wrapped around her thumb and over her hand visible, her jacket covering the rest of the cast. "Alex?" Connie smiled, the two never had much to do with each other when they worked in the same building.

"Are you going up?" Alex asked.

"Yes. No," Connie said, only to change her answer again, "I don't know."

"Would you like to get a coffee, I have time, and Detective Lupo is up with Mike at the moment." Alex raised her arm to reveal a little more of the cast as she pointed to a small cafe area.

"Thank you." Looking for something to say, Connie glanced around as they made their way to a small table. "I didn't know they were that close? Mike and Cyrus."

"He is about to sit the bar; Mike has been helping him," Alex smiled as they sat. "The two of them spend hours in his office of almost every night." Alex lowered her voice a little before she continued. "I don't think it has anything to do with studying."

"Mike likes someone to bounce ideas off." Connie though she should try to explain. Instead, it came out more like she was defending him from some kind of personal attack.

Again Alex just gave her a reassuring smiled. "I think he misses you." Alex held up her hand. "Jack said you two were close."

"I don't think I've ever worked with anyone as committed to justice as he is." This time, it was Connie who smiled.

"He talks about you."

"He does?" Connie's head flicked up in surprise, her eyes wide. The Mike she had worked with would never have spoken to anyone, even her really about anything personal.

"Once. Late one night, he said how much he liked having you around. It was the first time I'd ever heard him mention something that wasn't related to an active case. So when he dropped everything, a few months ago." Alex paused, and half waved her good hand in the air. "It was strange for Mike, he walked into my office dropped a few case files on my desk, he said a friend needed him; it couldn't wait, and he didn't know when he'd be back." Again Alex paused, a little longer this time. "I guess that friend was you?"

"My mother passed away," Connie explained.

Alex looked up at the waitress as the cups were placed in front of them. "His memory is a little better this morning, he still doesn't remember the lead up to the shooting, or getting shot, and I am not sure that he wants to." Alex picked up her bag with her good hand and secured it on her shoulder before picking up her coffee. "I always knew he was a good guy; I might not have been so lucky if I was standing next to someone else." Alex paused for a moment. "I had better be getting to the office; I promised Mike I would look after a few things."

Connie watched Alex walk away, and it seemed that everyone was trying to talk her into something she already knew. What she didn't know was how to bring any of this up with Mike, if he didn't remember what had happened between them LA she didn't want to push him until he was ready.

Connie stood and made her way to the elevator.

X-x-x-X

Once again she found herself unsure, only, this time, it was in the small waiting room. Her hand was wrapped around the takeaway cup, and her conversation with Alex was playing through her mind. The most terrifying part was the thought that his memory might be back, what if he remembered what has happened on the weekend? And if he did, what if he'd changed his mind. Almost dying may have changed the way he felt about everything.

"You can go in." A nurse from the front desk said. "He is doing much better this morning, and he should be okay with two visitors. Just remember he is still very tied."

"Thank you," Connie smiled and knew she couldn't put it off any longer. Taking the few steps through his door, she hoped her face wouldn't show her nerves. "Morning." She could see the two of them had been laughing, and Mike didn't look quite as grey as he had last night.

"I should get going," Lupo said not even saying good morning first. "I'll call back in at the end of my shift?

"Thanks," Mike said his voice still soft.

"How are you?" This time, it was Mike that got to ask the question. "What happen to your eye?"

"Nothing." Connie knew she would have to give him a reason. "A silly accident … shouldn't I be asking you how you are?" Connie wondered if that would see the end to his questions.

"I'm getting a little sick of it, so I thought I'd get in first."

"You're looking better." She tried to still the shaking in her hands as she considered her next move. He did remember, was her first thought, if he didn't he would have asked more questions. The Mike she knew wouldn't have let her off with an explanation like that, but maybe the old Mike wasn't back yet. Maybe he wouldn't ever be back. It was that last thought that pulled at her chest.

"How long can you stay?"

"I don't know. I haven't spoken to Dekker since I left LA." Connie hadn't been in a rush to contact her boss, just in case he'd wanted her back. When she left, Connie had assured Dekker and herself that she just needed to know he was going to be okay. Right now Mike was awake and talking. Really by the rules she had set herself on the flight she should call Dekker and be back in LA tomorrow. Only now she'd shifted from needing to know he was okay, if she was honest Connie knew when she left LA just knowing he was okay wouldn't ever be enough. She knew once she arrived she want to stay, need to stay. "He won't miss me for a few days."

Mike closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "We'll have to discuss that."

"Mike." Connie wasn't sure if she should be concerned about his tone or that he hadn't opened his eyes. "Mike," this time her voice was softer.

"He'll be in and out." The dark hair nurse said from behind her. "I'm surprised he lasted this long." She picked up the chart, "I'm Sue."

"Connie."

"Well Connie he is on quite a mix of painkiller, and sedatives, to help his body rest."

"Rest has never been something he's been good at," Connie said with a smile as she stepped out of Sue's way and back toward the very familiar plastic chair.

"The doctor will be around in a few hours and if everything continues he'd be out of ICU tomorrow, might even be home by the end of the week," Sue said as she made a note on the chart. "He should be out for a few hours if you want to do or get anything."

"Thank you, I'm right here."

xXxXxXxXx.

Mike kept his eyes closed and concentrated on the warm feeling that was wrapped around his left hand. He could hear the pages turning, and he guessed that was a book or magazine she was reading. So far this was the best moment he'd had, he wanted to open his eyes, but he knew as soon as he did the throbbing would return to the base of his skull, the longer he was awake, the worse it would get.

He also didn't want to see the look in her eyes, Alex looked guilty, Lupo and Jack both had the look of relief that their friend wasn't brain damaged, and he was scared that the next look he'd see would be pity. It was the last thing he wanted to see in Connie's eyes; he wanted to remember her as she was in the photo on his desk, as she was that night at his brownstone.

The sound of another page turning meant she was still focused on what she was reading. As slowly as he could, Mike turned his head a little to the left and waited for the pain to kick in, but it didn't. With the small win over his body he slightly opened his right eye, it took a few seconds, but he was able to bring her into focus. Her head bent, her dark hair tucked behind her ears. She looked tired, her skin a little pale.

Whether she knew it or not when her hand wasn't turning a page it was covering her eye. The bruise looked more like a dark shadow with her head turned toward the magazine, but it was there. 'A silly accident,' he still didn't know what that meant. Connie wasn't clumsy, did it have something to do with her mother? Jack's words filtered through the fog; she'd passed. His memory was still a patchwork; only he didn't know what bits were missing.

Each day he seems to piece a little more together and each day the pain seem to be more manageable. But he knew the longer he kept his eyes open the worst it would get until it got to the point where he couldn't concentrate, and he was left with no option but to sleep. He never knew how long he was out for but every time he woke some new was by his bed. Right now he just wanted to keep this going, closing his eye he turned her hand over in his and started to draw circles across her palm.

"Mike?"

He felt her tense and relax in almost one movement, "Hey."

"How are you feeling?"

There it was, but for some reason, he didn't mind as much. "Right now, great." He felt her other hand wrap around his.

"Do you want me to get anyone?"

"No … I'm not sure how much more of this I can take." Mike adjusted his position on the bed a little, his eyes still closed.

"You should be able to go home by the end of the week," Connie said, her hand leaving his as she ran it up and down his forearm. "Does the light hurt your eyes? I can turn them out?" The small room didn't have any windows. However, it did have very bright fluorescent lighting. Without waiting for an answer Connie made her way to the small control panel, the three red switches were all above power points that connected to the monitors in the room. That just left the three white ones, all of which Connie flicked off leaving the room lit only by the light coming from the corridor. "There."

Mike opened his eyes and blinked a few times, "thank you," he waited a moment checking to see if the pain would return. "Do you want to tell me about your eye?"

"No." Connie said with a sad smile, "Not right now."

"Do I know what happened?"

"Yes, but we can discuss it later."

"Connie," Mike voice betrayed him as he tried and failed to hide his nervousness, "when did I last see you?" Mike waited and watched Connie looked everywhere but at him. "Connie?"

"The day you were shot?"

Confused Mike tried to force a memory, but all that did was cause the pain in his head to intensify. "I ... I don't remember ..." He closed his eyes for a moment, "were you already in New York?"

"No," Connie paused. "You'd come to LA."

"I'd come because something happened, it's got something to do with your eye?"

"We were going to spend New Year's Eve together."

"Really," Mike didn't try to hide his grin as he thought he needed to get the rest of his memory back. "In LA?"

"No here, but something happened, and I couldn't come. So instead of picking me up at the airport you came to LA." Connie swallowed hard. "My sister's husband-"

"Julio," Mike said as he cut her off at the same time it felt like someone split his head open, "he'd broken into your house," his voice low as the pain throbbed harder.

"Yes, but that is dealt with now, and the doctor said you shouldn't be pushing yourself." Connie stood breaking the connect between them. "I think you should rest."

X~X~X~X~X

The last thing Mike remembered was Connie telling him to get some rest and the pain in his head going from a dull thud to loud hammering as he tried to remember more, as he sought to put all the pieces together. He guessed he blacked out.

Now he could hear soft voices as he rolled his head and slowly opened his eyes. Standing in the doorway to his room were Connie and Lupo, it wasn't that he didn't like Lupo. In fact, these days he was one of his best friends, but he'd always been jealous of his relationship with Connie.

"Hey," Connie said once she realised he was awake.

"What time is it?" Mike knew that Lupo was in that morning, had he completed his tour already? He hated never knowing how much time had passed.

"Two," Lupo answered, "I just dropped lunch off. Thought both of you could use a break from hospital food." He held up a brown bag. "But I've got to get back before I'm missed."

"Thank you," Connie said as she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "For everything."

"I'll be back tonight." Lupo waved as he left the room.

"I think it's just sandwiches, but anything has got to be better than the food they serve downstairs," Connie said as took the few short steps from the door back to his bedside. "It looks like you'll be out of here and in a regular room this afternoon."

"What happened to Kane?" Mike knew it had nothing to do with lunch or the room he was in, but he wanted to know. He'd flown back in New York so he could be the one to take the heat for dropping the charges. He remembered, well he remembered most of it.

"Kane?" Connie questioned, clearly taken back by his question.

"Tara Kane's father, what's happened to him?" Mike focused on Connie; he'd asked Alex, Lupo, and Jack what had happened and no one had answered the question. They'd all just pretended he'd never even asked, of course, he hadn't known who he was asking about. But now he did.

"He's still in holding, his lawyer is going for extreme emotional distress."

"Who's handling it?"

"Your new DA has taken the case personally," Connie said her tone a little mixed.

"Really?"

"You sound concerned."

"Let's just say I think it has been a while since he was in a courtroom and I'm not sure that throwing the key away is the approach I'd take."

"He shot you, he shot a DA on the steps of a courthouse," Connie's voice was laced with concern. "If this had been anyone else wild horses couldn't stop you from trying to throw away the key."

"Maybe," Mike paused as he watched her unwrap the sandwiches. He wasn't sure what she wanted, if she was uncomfortable discussing his shooting or if she realised that meant he remembered what had happened, well almost happened in LA.

"Let's eat." She said pushing the table to his bedside.

"Connie ... I want to move to LA." Mike held up his hand, "no," he said cutting her off. "But Jack told me you'd given notice to Dekker?"

"Yes."

"You don't have to do that, not for me."

"I'd be doing it for me. There isn't anything or me in LA anymore, and I'm hoping there is something very important for me here?"

XxXxXxXxX

I would like to get the next and last part up this week, if not I am not sure when I will get to finish it. I am starting a new job on Monday and I think my focus will be on things new and exciting.