Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT even though it would be awesome if I did.
Alexa asked: Emma seems to be warming up to the idea of being friends! Wonder if Belle or Ruby will find first? Hope when Emma finds our about the baby she doesn't hide the truth from Killian."
It will be interesting to see how things go when she discovers she's pregnant.
soapdiva288208 asked: "OMFG, What happened between Liam and Killian ? What the hell did Millah do ? I know these are all spoilers so i will ask, how bad is the damaged on a scale of 1-10 ?"
They had a falling out thanks to Milah, not that Milah is a bad person, it was just the circumstances. I would say….maybe 7.
There's no baby reveal yet here, so to make up for that I give you an attempt at CS slow burn (there are some time skips after all) and some cute Ruby and Belle scenes. This chapter is also super long, which I hope you guys like, because long chapters are good for the fanfic reading soul lol.
I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and please feel free to leave reviews and ask questions.
Enjoy!
Chapter 4: Connections
Emma found herself in the kitchen observing Killian as she sipped her coffee. It had been just over a week since he had moved in and so far things were comfortable. She honestly wasn't sure how to feel about that. On one side of it, the night she had returned from the stakeout had somewhat broken the ice between them, and they fell into a sort of routine. Killian woke up early and started breakfast, Emma joined him, they would make small talk, then Emma would go off to work and Killian would work to meet his deadlines, then she'd come home and they alternated between Emma bringing home takeout and Killian cooking, as well as alternating dishes.
But then there was the other side. The one that had them dancing around each other as though they were on the edge of something that wasn't quite tangible. They were careful of each other, but not sure why. Every time he came near her, she tensed as though anticipating more than just longing looks.
Often enough, she caught him looking at her with these lingering gazes that she didn't want to read into, but she also found herself watching him too. Her thoughts would drift off, thinking only of him and nothing else seemed much to matter. Was it just physical attraction? He was very attractive, and there was definitely a mutual attraction there. There certainly was a leftover spark from their one night together.
Even now, she felt herself flushing a bit, remembering Killian hovering over her, his blue eyes glowing with intensity. Shaking herself, she returned her eyes to the man in front of her, who was furiously typing away at his laptop.
In spite of his gazes, Killian respected her personal space. He often kept a distance between them which Emma greatly appreciated. She didn't trust herself whenever he was close. He kept to himself and he didn't push her; he didn't ask questions about her past or ask for personal information unless it was necessary. All in all, he was the perfect roommate for her.
There was just another problem to add to her list though.
Not only did he invade her waking thoughts, but she kept dreaming about him. That was perhaps the most infuriating thing. Wet dreams of him she could understand; again there was the physical attraction and she knew just how skilled he was in bed. But there were other dreams that unsettled her. Dreams that were more…domestic in nature, and she wasn't sure if that was because he was her roommate or if it was something else.
No, it can't be anything else. She told herself. It's just his proximity, and seeing him every day.
"Swan?" Killian's voice cut through her thoughts. He was looking at her with some concern, his brow adorably furrowed.
He's not adorable. Emma chided herself. "Yeah?"
"You looked upset." Killian said. He even sounded genuinely concerned. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I was just lost in thought." Emma said, trying not to feel affection for him. His concern warmed her in ways that she didn't want to analyze any further. To distract herself from her thoughts, she started up a conversation. "How's the writing going?"
"It's good today." Killian said. He stretched his arms a bit, unintentionally teasing her eyes with a bit of skin where his shirt rose. "Some days are easier than others."
"Writer's block, right?" Emma asked, trying hard to keep her eyes on his face.
"It can be a pain." Killian chuckled. He ran a hand through his hair. "Today is Gal Pal Saturday, right?"
Emma nodded. "Yeah." Gal Pal Saturday: the one day every month that Ruby designated for the three of them to hang out and just be girls. It was one of the times that Emma actually didn't feel like the third wheel with Ruby and Belle. "Are you going to be working all day?"
"Not all day." Killian told her, setting his laptop on the coffee table. "I was just going to finish this up, then go out."
A flare of unexpected jealousy rose up in Emma as an image of Killian out with someone who wasn't her. Don't be ridiculous. He's not your territory. "Oh, are you going to meet someone?"
Killian tilted his head, his eyes curious. "No. I don't exactly have other friends." He shrugged. "I prefer to be alone."
That sounds familiar. Emma swallowed, panicking a bit at feeling connected to Killian. "Yeah, I get that."
The understanding look in his eyes made her want to run.
Crap. Emma cursed at revealing too much of herself with so few words.
"I should go." She finished the last of her coffee and headed to the door grabbing her keys and red leather jacket. She had to get out of there before she said something else. Revealing anything more to him was dangerous territory. As she shrugged on her jacket, she glanced at him, finding his brows furrowed as he looked at her.
Killian gave her a small smile, that seemed a bit forced, before turning his attention back to his work. "I'll see you later."
"Yeah, later." She nodded, grabbing her purse too.
"Have fun." He replied sincerely.
Her stomach fluttered as his eyes met hers. "Yeah, as long as Ruby doesn't get too crazy." She heard him chuckle in response before she left the apartment.
The elevator ride down felt like forever as her thoughts whirled around. It was probably a good thing for her to get out of the apartment and away from Killian. Maybe some space would give her clarity, and keep her from opening up her heart.
"Should you really be saying that about your boss?" Belle asked as she looked through some blouses to pair with the navy skirt she found.
They were at a clothing boutique that was thankfully in their price range, and still had clothes that looked tasteful and expensive. Luckily there was a variety too, and not just what was trendy.
Ruby shrugged. "I'm not at work, so I think I can bitch about my boss as long as no one from work is around." Ruby glanced around the store. "And look, no one I know is here."
Emma snorted. Leave it to Ruby to bad mouth someone and then check to be sure no one else heard.
"Sure, laugh." Ruby playfully scoffed. "You have a great boss."
Emma shrugged. "Cleo can be tough."
"Lies." Ruby said. "All lies. Oooh, Belle, this would look so cute on you." She pulled a navy dress with red polka dots and a matching red belt and handed it to Belle.
Belle looked at it with approval, adding it to the pile of clothes she carried.
"What about you, Emma?" Belle asked, looking over at the blonde. "Need a new dress for work?"
"I always need a new dress for work." Emma said as she looked through the racks, wondering if she should stray from her usual colors of red and black. A pink dress caught her eye and she wondered what Killian would say to it, before quickly banishing the thought. "For some reason men think that throwing a drink at me is a good enough distraction for them to make a run for it. I take them to the cleaners, but sometimes even they can't get the stains out."
Ruby scoffed. "Forget getting something to wear to work. Get something for a hot date. A dress that makes a guy's jaw drop."
"Most of my work consists of me going on "hot dates," as you know." Emma picked a black number from the rack, scrutinizing it before replacing it. "Besides, I don't date."
"Yes, that's pretty much your motto." Ruby huffed looking at her. "You know Emma, those walls of yours aren't doing you any favors."
"Ruby." Belle spoke in gentle warning. This wasn't the time or place to get into an argument over Emma's lack of a love life.
Emma wasn't bothered by it too much. She and Ruby had had this argument before. Then again, Ruby didn't know the whole story. Oh, Ruby knew more about Emma's past than anyone else had ever known, but Neal and the baby she gave up were things that Emma still hid. Things that she couldn't talk about with anyone. Emma forced the memories away, instead focusing intently on the clothes in front of her.
"Look, I just bring it up all the time, because I think that you really could find someone who could make you really happy." Ruby said, her tone both pleading and sincere. "Like how Belle makes me feel."
Belle smiled at the sentiment, clearly agreeing with her girlfriend.
"I'm not saying that a woman needs to have a relationship." Ruby continued. "There are many single women out there who are perfectly happy and that's fantastic. But Emma, you aren't one of them. You've had a life that's starved you of love and affection. You need someone in your life to lean on. Someone who you could be completely intimate with on every level. Physical and emotional. You know?"
While Ruby's words rang true, it was uncomfortable to hear. Even worse, when Ruby spoke about intimacy, Emma pictured Killian in her mind and how comfortable it was to live with him, and how he comforted her after her nightmare on their night together. It shook her that she thought of Killian in that moment.
Hurriedly, Emma grabbed a few random dresses. "I'm going to go try these on." She walked away from her friends and found an empty dressing room. Hanging her dresses, she sat down taking deep calming breaths to curtail her panic, hoping that tears wouldn't follow.
Why did it always come back to Killian? Was she crazy? He was her roommate. They had sex one night before they ever knew each other. But they knew each other now and nothing good would happen if they became more than that. They could not, absolutely could not, become a couple. It would only end badly, because of her. She wasn't meant to be loved, and that's how it was meant to be.
More than that, Emma needed to keep her distance from him. They couldn't be roommates forever, and she doubted that she could handle it if he abandoned her too.
They watched Emma flee to the dressing rooms.
At first, Ruby was tempted to follow her, but then she thought better of it, knowing that Emma would feel better after a moment to herself.
"You pushed her." Belle sighed, giving her girlfriend a chiding look.
"Sometimes she needs a push." Ruby said, paying more attention to the clothes than Belle's disapproval. "What do you think of this number?" Ruby pulled out a red dress and held it against her. "It's a good date night dress, right?"
"Yes, and you'll look gorgeous." Belle said. "Now, stop trying to change the subject."
That only earned a huff from Ruby. "Emma will be fine." Ruby told her. "She just needs a breather."
"Because you pushed." Belle reiterated.
Ruby shrugged. "Like I said, she needs one." Ruby turned to face Belle. "She isn't happy being our third wheel, and setting her up with Killian failed. Emma deserves to be happy, and I think she's been alone so long that she is just used to being unhappy. That's not fair to her. Someone needs to climb those walls and treat her the way she deserves."
"I agree with you completely." Belle said. "But don't you think you need a more subtle approach?"
"I'm having déjà vu." Ruby and Belle had had this conversation many times before. Then again, if Ruby wasn't always pushing Emma then there wouldn't be a need for this conversation to begin with; alas, Ruby dug her own whole.
Belle sighed again. "Maybe Emma will meet someone on her own?" It was a worthy suggestion. Emma was young, single, and lived in a big city. She did go out on her own or with them from time to time. Eventually, she would have to meet someone who caught her eye.
"She never even tries to meet someone." Ruby countered. "Unless it's for one night stands, and believe me, if Emma had a one night stand and met that guy again, she'd run. That's why I push. She just needs to know that dating isn't the end of the world. That there are good guys out there. Like Killian." Ruby sighed wistfully. "If only she'd date Killian."
Belle shook her head, trying not to be amused by her girlfriend's antics. "Her heart might not be ready." Belle said. "There's a reason she's never told us about her past relationships."
"Maybe so." Ruby took another dress off of the rack. "But she can't let some douchebag ex or exes hold that kind of power over her." Her arms full, Ruby turned to face Belle. "Let's go check on her and try these on."
"Just promise me that you won't push her again today?" Bella requested as they headed to the back of the store.
"Fine." Ruby said. "But only for the rest of the day."
Belle chuckled. "That's all I ask."
Killian walked along the harbor, breathing in the salty air. Being near water always calmed him whenever he was in turmoil, or helped him whenever he just needed a quiet place to sit and think. He had a lot of thinking to do as of late.
After Emma returned home from her stakeout, something between them shifted, but he couldn't help but feel off kilter about it.
It was as if they were both anticipating something, yet holding themselves back.
Was it sexual tension? They were both clearly very attracted to each other. He had even caught Emma checking him out a few times, but he never called her on it. It was obvious that she needed her space, and Killian didn't want to push her if that only made her uncomfortable.
Or was it something else? Was the connection they made on that first night still there and just thrumming under the surface?
He knew that he wanted there to be a connection, but he feared it too. Emma was the first person that he had met since Milah that made him want more than just a one night stand. He felt something with her that he hadn't felt since Milah.
Milah.
God, he thought about her so many times over the past five years. He had known that getting involved with her probably wasn't a good idea, but the allure of a loving relationship was just too much.
Honestly, Killian had never meant for anything to start.
Unfortunately, Killian was much younger and a fool, blinded by her passionate personality and his own physical attraction. Perhaps he was seeking something in Milah that he needed, but she couldn't give.
It had all ended in pain and tears, just as Liam predicted it would.
I told you this would happen, Liam had said. She was just using you until her husband beguiled her with his money. She was never going to be with you the way you wanted.
Killian closed his eyes as shame and guilt rose and twisted inside of him.
After the fallout, he couldn't remain in town; he couldn't face any of them anymore. It was unbearable, and he couldn't breathe easy any longer.
Five years later, he hadn't talked to anyone except Ruby, who had been one of the few that sided with him completely on the Milah debacle.
So yeah, he definitely wasn't ready for that.
But was he ready to open his heart again? Milah had crushed it, but Emma made it feel something again.
Their night together had been passionate and intense, and ever since he moved in, he learned little things about Emma that only endeared her to him. Their shared love of grilled cheese for one. Then there was the way that she would bob her head and move a little with music whenever she was in a really good mood. The very specific way her hot chocolate had to be made: milk in a pot on the stove, bring to a boil, stir in the Swiss Miss hot chocolate and cinnamon, then pour it in a mug and put some Reddi Wip on top, then sprinkle more cinnamon on top. He only knew because he offered to make it once and she showed him all of the steps, because apparently making hot chocolate was serious business.
There were other things too; how her nose scrunched up when she didn't like something, how her brow furrowed when she was worried, how her head tilted when she was concentrating or curious about something, and the way that when she was trying not to laugh she couldn't quite hide a smile or when she did laugh her teeth showed as the musical sound left her.
He was utterly smitten by her. He shouldn't be since they were supposed to just be roommates, and Emma wanted nothing more than that. Killian had to respect her wishes, but it was hard to be around her and not have his stomach dancing or his eyes being entranced by her every move.
How did he always fall for women that weren't interested?
Leaning against the safety rails, Killian looked out at the harbor, the wind whipping at his hair.
What was he going to do?
Emma finished putting away her new clothes and shoes when she heard the door open.
"Swan, you home?" Killian's voice rang out through the apartment.
"Bedroom!" She called out, collecting the now empty shopping bags.
Killian appeared in the open doorway, casually leaning against the frame, crossing his arms over his chest.
Emma averted her eyes. Why did he have to look so damn attractive? He clearly had been out and about too as his hair was a tousled mess. "Where did you go off to?"
"Just down by the harbor." Killian told her. "I like the water. Helps me think."
That surprised her, but she tried not to let it show. The water usually helped her think too. Every place she had lived, she had always found a beach or a lake or a river to be her thinking spot. Since living in Boston, the harbor was the best thinking spot around. "That's nice. Writer's block?"
"No." Killian looked nervous, and his arms tightened.
Emma figured he was trying not to scratch his ear. It was a cute little nervous tic. Everything he did was cute. The way his eyebrows were so expressive for one. Like when he was joking, they would waggle or when he was surprised they would both rise up. Then there was how he tilted his head a bit when he was confused. How his tongue would poke out when he was in his writing zone and focused. How he remembered little things like how she liked her coffee, that grilled cheese was her favorite, how she preferred cherry pop tarts above the others. Cute little things that made her heart ache and sent her stomach in a flutter.
Pushing aside her thoughts, Emma focused on the man before her. "What's for dinner tonight?"
"I was thinking pizza, beer, and a movie." Killian said.
"Cool." Emma agreed. "There's a good pizza place a couple of blocks over. They know my usual. What would you like?"
"Pepperoni is fine." Killian said. "You want to pick the movie?"
"Surprise me." Emma said, already picking up her cell phone and dialing the pizza place.
Thirty minutes later the pizza arrived and The Princess Bride began to play on the screen.
"So, The Princess Bride?" Emma arched a brow, though she couldn't fight the smile that broke out on her face. It was, after all, her all time favorite movie.
The man beside her reddened. "Uh, yeah. I'm a bit of a romantic at heart."
"That's not a bad thing." Emma reassured. In fact, it was just one more endearing quality to add to the growing list of endearing things about Killian Jones.
Killian smiled at her before turning his focus to the movie. "You have to give Westley some props for dedication to her."
"You think so?" Emma asked.
"Clearly he was in love with her before she was in love with him." Killian said. "Even when it was clear that she had feelings for him but didn't realize it, he stuck around."
"It's sweet." Emma agreed as they came to the scene where Westley was telling Buttercup goodbye. As Westley allayed Buttercup's fears and spoke of True Love, Emma frowned. This was certainly the movie that made her believe in such love, but that was years ago, when she was young and innocent. After Neal, she knew that True Love was never in the cards for her.
So lost in her own thoughts, Emma didn't notice Killian looking at her at Westley's line about True Love.
Emma felt for Buttercup when she found out that Westley had died. Love only caused pain after all, so why should she love again? Emma shook her head, and tried to focus on the movie.
"Ugh, Vizzini." Killian scoffed, earning a snort from Emma. "He was very annoying."
"At least he gets killed off." Emma said. "I always felt bad for poor Fezzik. He's not as stupid as everyone seems to think."
Killian nodded in agreement, unable to speak since he was biting into his pizza.
Emma glanced at him just in time to see his tongue dart out to lick some stray sauce from his lips. Her eyes darted back to the screen as she took a sip of her beer.
As the movie continued, Emma and Killian laughed and tensed at all the right parts, throwing in their own commentary here and there.
Emma honestly had never had as much fun watching a movie before. Even with Ruby and Belle, watching movies wasn't as fun, mostly due to third wheel awkwardness. But this, with Killian here, it was relaxing and Emma was enjoying his little comments to every other scene.
Unbeknownst to her, Killian too was having a good time. Even with Belle and Ruby being in his life, he often kept to himself and was resistant to hanging out. Sitting here with Emma, both of them enjoying one of his top five movies, it was nice. It had been too long since he just hung out with someone and genuinely enjoyed their company without worry of not being sociable enough.
Perhaps they were becoming friends after all.
As the movie, and their commentary, continued, Emma's face hurt from smiling so much. For the first time, bonding with someone didn't seem so scary, and that usual panic, that so often reared up in moments like this, was absent. For once, Emma wasn't running.
Ruby was on her lunch break, playing with some designs for her portfolio, when her cell phone buzzed. Seeing the name on the screen, Ruby winced.
Mary Margaret had been her best friend through childhood up to college, but these past few weeks, blissful in her new relationship status and busy at work, Ruby hadn't called Mary Margaret as often as she usually did.
"Hey Mare." Ruby greeted. "How's it going?"
"Really good actually." Mary Margaret said.
Ruby knew Mary Margaret so well that she could practically feel the excitement on the other line. "Oh, is that charming husband of yours living up to his nickname?"
Mary Margaret laughed. "You know he always does. He also hates that nickname."
"Blame Killian for that one." Ruby said without thinking. She stiffened when she realized what she said. Mary Margaret and David had both taken Killian's leaving and lack of contact hard.
"We miss him." Mary Margaret sighed.
"I know." Ruby said. "I've tried to get him to call, but he's very stubborn."
"We are very aware." Mary Margaret chuckled. "Speaking of Killian, since he won't call, could you tell him my news?"
"Is that why you called?" Ruby's tone was light. "Making me your messenger pigeon?"
"Well I was calling you to tell you." Mary Margaret said. "Telling Killian is just a bonus."
Ruby let out a playful scoff. "So, what's your news girl?"
There was a beat before Mary Margaret screeched. "I'm pregnant!"
"Oh my God!" Ruby squealed. "That's great!"
David and Mary Margaret had been married practically as soon as they got out of high school, but they had been putting off having kids until they were ready.
"Isn't it?" Mary Margaret said. "Ruth is very excited of course. Probably more than me and David."
Ruby chuckled. "She and Granny are probably going to raid the craft store now. They'll buyout all the yarn for that kid of yours."
"Probably." Mary Margaret said. "David and I will be up to our necks in booties and baby blankets."
"So true." Ruby's smile was starting to hurt. "Congratulations, really. You and David are going to be amazing parents."
"We're just so excited." Mary Margaret let out a bubbly laugh. "Neither of us can stop smiling. Anyway, just pass the news on to Killian. We'd love it if he could come visit. You and Belle too."
Mary Margaret had been pushing for Ruby to bring Belle back to Storybrooke for a while now, but neither Ruby nor Belle's schedules had been open enough.
"Whenever your first baby shower is, Belle and I will be there." Ruby promised. "I can't promise anything with Killian though."
"As long as you try, that'll be enough." It was a lie, but Mary Margaret knew better than to expect anything with Killian.
"Who knows, maybe he will come back?" Ruby said. "It's your and David's kid after all."
"Maybe, but then again that might be too hard for him." Mary Margaret said. "Is he still…has he moved on?"
"Not really." Ruby sighed. "I have a friend who's perfect for him, but their both stubborn. But who knows, maybe he'll find someone."
"Who's your friend?"
"Emma Swan." Ruby said. "But so far it's a no go between them."
"At least you tried." Mary Margaret said. "Oh, Ruth's calling. Tell Killian we love him and miss him, and that we hope to see him soon."
"I will." Ruby said.
Mary Margaret hung up.
Ruby was truly happy for her friends, but she really hoped that Killian didn't take the news too hard.
Belle entered Emma and Killian's apartment with her key, looking for Killian. She needed him to read over some drafts and edit them before she submitted them to her professors. "Killian, you here?"
"Nope." Emma said, coming out of the bathroom. "He had a meeting, but I guess it's running late. I just got home."
"Okay." Belle said. "Do you mind if I wait? I'd email him these drafts, but I prefer to talk in person after he edits. It's easier to make notes and figure things out."
"Yeah, sure." Emma smiled. "I was just about to order some dinner and watch some t.v."
Belle settled in on the couch with her papers and laptop.
"I think I'll get Indian tonight." Emma told her. "Do you know what Killian likes?"
"Anything with lamb." Belle said. "Ooh, if you're ordering from that place over by the bookstore, he loves their lamb coconut curry."
"What about you?" Emma asked.
"Oh don't worry about me." Belle waved her off, not wanting to impose.
"Belle, you're eating." Emma told her, giving her a look. "Besides, I have a feeling that these editing sessions run long."
Belle knew that she had a point, and these editing sessions did in fact last some hours long. "Chicken Korma."
As Emma called in the order, Belle thought over how Emma had been on Saturday. After some time to herself, Emma had returned, composed, but for the rest of the afternoon, Emma had been lost in her thoughts. It had only made Belle curious, especially when Emma had tensed every time that Killian was mentioned in conversation.
When Emma hung up after placing the order, Belle saw her chance to sate her curiosity. "Hey, Emma?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you and Killian getting on all right?" Belle asked. She knew that Killian was a great roommate and a perfect gentleman, but there was something working in her brain; she could feel that there was more to know regarding her two friends.
"Yeah, we've been good." Emma said with a kind smile. "Why do you ask?"
"Just curious." Belle said. "He's a good roommate."
Emma's expression turned soft. "He is."
Belle noted Emma's soft look with keen interest. "So you guys broke the ice?"
"We did." Emma said, joining Belle on the couch. "He's been great, really." Emma smiled as she remembered their movie night and how Killian insisted that it should become a tradition. She had never had traditions before until Belle and Ruby, but it felt different having a tradition with Killian. There was more to it that she wasn't quite sure of, but some small part of her wanted to find out.
Belle couldn't help but wonder about Emma's demeanor. She had never seen Emma so comfortable before and they were just talking about Killian. Wait? Could it be that she..? Could they…
An idea sparked in Belle's mind, one that could prove her already working theory about Emma and Killian's relationship. Or at least, she hoped that it would prove her right. "That's good." Belle said. "Ruby still thinks that you and Killian are a good match." Careful now, Belle. You're entering dangerous territory.
"Belle." Emma sighed, her face dropping as her shoulders slumped. "I already told Ruby that's not going to happen." It couldn't happen; not with him. Emma couldn't risk it.
"I know." Belle reassured. "But I do think that Ruby has a point. You deserve to be happy, and you need to give dating a chance." Belle took Emma's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "There are good guys out there."
Emma suddenly found the coffee table very interesting. She knew that Ruby and Belle had good points, and she wasn't happy being alone. Her head was just too scared to risk her heart. It was hard enough to let friends in, but to let someone in who could love her? Someone who could hold her heart? It was too dangerous.
"How about baby steps?" Belle offered, hoping to find a compromise that Emma would be comfortable with. "There's a grad student I know. He's a nice guy, so one date won't hurt, right?" Okay, so the guy she was thinking of wasn't nice, but setting Emma up was just a part of her plan, not meant to be a long term thing.
"I don't know." Emma hesitated. Though Belle did have a point. It would only be just one little date, right? Nice guy or not, it's not like Emma was required to like the guy. She didn't even have to see him again after the date.
"Just one date." Belle said. "Friday night, and if it's not working out, Ruby and I will bail you out."
An image of Killian floated in Emma's mind, but she quickly pushed it away. There couldn't be anything between them. Belle was right.
It would only be one little date.
"So don't freak out." Belle said as Ruby came into the bedroom after finishing her nightly ritual.
"Freak out about what?" Ruby asked, climbing on the bed. "Did you increase your workload again? Or did another TA hit on you?" Ruby gasped mockingly. "Oh God, did you eat the last of my Valentine's candy?" Though, eating her candy would be the one thing that Ruby wouldn't be able to forgive.
Belle rolled her eyes, a smile gracing her face. "None of the above, and for the record, you ate all of your candy and the last of mine." Luckily, Belle was much more forgiving than Ruby.
"You don't even like the cream filled ones." Ruby objected, careful not to mention that she ate Belle's last coconut filled one. "I was doing you a favor."
"A true favor would be giving me your coconut filled ones, you candy hog." Belle huffed, though she was still smiling.
"So what am I about to freak out about?" Ruby asked. It must've been something good, because Belle had seemed a bit worried earlier.
Belle hesitated. "Okay, but it's for everyone's own good."
"What is?" Now it really had to be good. It made Ruby all the more curious.
"I convinced Emma to go out on a date." Belle winced, already preparing herself for Ruby's reaction.
Ruby whipped her head towards Belle, her jaw agape. "You did what? How? What?"
Belle shrugged. "I just used your words against her but pushed her gently."
"But, how?" Ruby clearly in shock couldn't properly form coherency. "But, but, she…we are talking about Emma Swan, right? The Emma Swan?"
"Yes." Belle said. "That's not the point. The point is that she has a date on Friday."
"With who?" Ruby asked, still trying to process the fact that Emma was willingly going out on a date. A real, actual date.
"Oh that Isaac guy." Belle said with a shrug.
Ruby snorted. "The weird guy who's full of himself? They won't get past the appetizers."
Belle hummed noncommittally. That was exactly her hope.
That caused Ruby to narrow her eyes. "Wait a second. Are you playing at something here, French?"
"I don't know what you mean." Belle turned away to turn off the bedside lamp.
"You know that Isaac won't have a chance with Emma." Ruby stated. "You're playing at something. The question is why?"
"Let that haunt your dreams." Belle told her with a smirk. "Because I'm going to bed."
"You can't leave me hanging." Ruby cuddled up to Belle. "Come on, babe. Please tell me?"
Belle turned around and faced her girlfriend. "I won't. Goodnight." She pecked Ruby's lips, but before she could turn back around, Ruby pinned her to the mattress.
"Oh, I think I can get the answer out of you." Ruby smirked playfully.
"You won't." Belle challenged even as she felt Ruby's hands on her hips, sliding her nightgown up.
Ruby moved down the bed, slowly removing Belle's panties. "Oh honey, you're going to tell me everything."
Killian returned home and heard the shower running. His heartbeat skipped at the thought of Emma naked and wet, but he quickly banished the images away. Emma wished to remain friends, and he had to respect that no matter how much he fantasized about her.
He really should stop fantasizing about her, but it was more difficult than he anticipated; she invaded every thought and every dream. Though he gave her some space, he needed that space too. Whenever Emma was around him, Killian felt as though he were losing himself in her, unable to help looking at her, longing to kiss her again, aching to hold her in his arms.
There you go again, Jones. Shaking away those thoughts, Killian focused on shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his shoes by the door.
It was Friday night, and he didn't have any plans, nor did Emma as far as he was aware. Perhaps he could entice her to another movie night. They had had a lot of fun watching The Princess Bride, but the past week hadn't allowed for their schedules to coincide. He either wrote late into the night to keep up with deadlines, or she'd have a stakeout or be in bed early too tired from the day. And he would ensure that a respectable distance was kept once again.
He put his laptop bag in his room, before heading to the bathroom to knock on the door and ask Emma what she wanted for dinner, when the bathroom door opened.
Both he and Emma froze after nearly running into each other, but what kept him speechless was that she was clad only in a short, terry-cloth robe.
Bloody hell. He swallowed, his eyes raking over her bare, freshly shaven legs.
"Killian." She seemed surprised to see him despite the fact that he lived here. Crap, crap, crap. What is he doing here?
"Swan." Killian moved his eyes to her face quickly, feeling his ears grow warm. "I just got home, and I was wondering what you'd like for dinner."
Her brows furrowed as she frowned. Great, now I can't avoid it. I have to tell him. "Yeah, about that." She walked past him to her room, leaving Killian no choice but to follow. Not that I could hide it from him. He'd notice if I wasn't home and came back without alcohol on my dress. Not to mention that she was pretty sure she had told Killian that she had tonight off from work, so he wouldn't have bought it if she lied and said she had a skip. Or would he? Maybe she got called in?
Get real, Emma. She snapped at herself. He's a grown man, and there's nothing going on between the two of you. So what if you have a real date?
He stopped in her doorway, unwilling to enter her space uninvited, wondering why she seemed so on edge.
Emma stopped in front of her closet and started looking through her dresses. She wanted to put off telling him, but she was already close to running late. "I kind of have a date tonight." She told him, unable to look at him as she said the words. It's not a big deal. It's just one date.
Killian tilted his head, confused and wondering why she'd be hesitant to tell him. "For work?" That was usually her go to with skips. Lure them out on a date and then slam them with the handcuffs. Though it didn't make sense as to why Emma wouldn't want to tell him. She was usually nonchalant about her skips.
Emma glanced at him. "No. A real date. Belle set it up." Her eyes bore into him, watching carefully as his confusion turned to hurt.
His heart dropped into his stomach and Killian suddenly found it hard to breathe. A date? She has a date? But hadn't she told him that she didn't date? It was only ever one night stands?
Maybe she just told you that to get you off her back, a dark voice in the back of his mind spoke. Women don't love you, you're just a pretty face they can use.
Killian closed his eyes, trying to block out the darker side of his thoughts.
"Killian?"
He looked up at her, hearing the uncertainty in her voice.
She looked a little lost herself.
Killian forced a smile. "That's good." The knot in his stomach disagreed with him. "You should get back out there." His entire body was tensing up, even as he tried to play it off. "You deserve to find someone worthy of you."
That man certainly isn't me.
Emma turned her attention back to her closet, trying to push the wounded look on his face out of her mind. There was no reason for him to feel hurt, right? They were just roommates.
"Red's fetching on you." Killian said quietly.
Emma turned to face him, but he already left, leaving her flushed.
She had been wearing a red blouse and red lingerie the night that they had met.
She pulled a simple black dress from the closet and unattractive beige bra and panties from her dresser. It's not like anything was going to happen tonight anyway.
I have to go on this date. Emma told herself. If only to prove that there's nothing between me and Killian.
Isaac Heller was perhaps the most boring, self-absorbed person that Emma had ever met. He couldn't stop talking about himself and how he'd be the next Stephen King or George R.R. Martin.
Personally, Emma wasn't a fan of either, but she couldn't tell Isaac that since he wouldn't let her get a word in at all. Even when they ordered, he had tried to order for her, before Emma took control of the situation. He hadn't even asked one question about her. They met, he asked if she was indeed Emma and then he was off boosting his own image.
Seriously, where did this guy get off? Was he that insecure or just that full of himself?
Either way, this was one of the least enjoyable dates Emma had ever been on. Why would Belle even set her up with this guy? Belle knew her better than this and Belle wasn't one to be blinded by people's charm, usually seeing through them. There was no way that Belle didn't know that this date would be a bust. Emma and Isaac were totally incompatible.
Then again, maybe Belle did know that and she was giving Emma an out. After all they had agreed on Emma taking baby steps and that it would only be one date. So maybe setting her up on this date was just Belle's way of helping her do that? Maybe Belle didn't intend for Emma to like Isaac? But then again, Belle said that she wanted Emma to be happy, so why not set up a date with a guy that Emma might actually like? Someone that actually had a chance?
Not to mention the fact that this date wasn't making Emma's views on dating more positive. If anything, the date only furthered her opinion that dating sucked. Especially when guys like Isaac existed.
She wished that she had just stayed at home and watched a movie with Killian. The thought of him cheered Emma's mood a bit.
Killian certainly wasn't Isaac. Probably the exact opposite, in fact. Where Isaac boasted of his talents in writing, Killian never spoke about his work all that much except for the basics of writing. Never had she heard Killian praise himself. There was also the fact that Isaac wouldn't stop talking and didn't want to get to know her while Killian would rather listen and get to know her without pushing. Killian definitely wasn't pushy, but Emma could tell that Isaac was, even if he hadn't asked her about herself yet.
What am I even doing here? She thought as she pushed the food around on her plate.
The restaurant was nice, and the food was great, but listening to Isaac's nonstop chatter had pretty much chased Emma's appetite away. She was tempted to order another glass of wine, but she didn't want to risk her sobriety on a half-empty stomach.
Realizing that she had completely zoned out on him, Emma refocussed herself and tried to pay attention, but the man was still going on about writing. Apparently he was working on a novel that would blow his creative writing teachers away.
Emma doubted it, and she hadn't even seen his writing. Belle had told her often enough that all writing went through draft after draft, and that even the finished project was never perfect.
I shouldn't be here. Emma sighed internally. I should be home, on the couch, deep into Chinese or whatever Killian cooked tonight. We could be watching a movie right now. God, she wanted so badly to be home in comfortable clothes, barefoot and full, and having a good time with Killian.
This Isaac guy wasn't worth the effort that she put into this date.
"Isaac." Emma interrupted. It was time to leave. "This isn't going to work." She stood grabbing her jacket and her purse.
"Wait, where are you going?" Isaac asked, confused at the abrupt change.
"I'm going home." Emma said, pulling her jacket on. "This date just hasn't really been fun. I'm sorry. Have a good night." She walked away, ignoring Isaac calling out to her for her to pay for her dinner.
Seriously, where did he get off?
As hard as he tried to focus on the movie, Killian couldn't get his mind off of Emma and the fact that she was on a date. A date with a man that was probably perfect for her. Someone that she could open her heart up to, and it wasn't him.
Killian groaned. Enough. So Emma's on a date? She doesn't belong to you. She's a single woman, and she deserves to find happiness.
Unlike you.
Killian closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the couch. He didn't deserve to find happiness; after all, he was the one who left everyone behind, because he was selfish. It had hurt too much for him to stay, and this loneliness was his punishment. Love was nothing but pain and torment.
It was why he didn't try to date anymore. He didn't want to end up ensnared by someone who'd take his heart and not care for him. Not again.
At least, that was the plan until Emma came along. She had been a whirlwind crashing into his life, one that he'd gladly let swallow him whole. He was willing to take a chance, but the very fact that he was also scared him. Already, he had growing feelings for her where she had none and that gave her a lot of power even if she didn't know it. It was a sobering thought. Would she break him too if he gave her his heart?
The door opened, startling him.
Emma walked in kicking off her heels. "Hey."
"Hey." Killian blinked, surprised to see her home so early. "What are you doing here?"
"I live here." She remarked with a teasing smirk.
Killian couldn't help but smile back. "I meant that it's early and you had a date."
Emma shrugged. "Date was a bust." I couldn't stop comparing him to you. Though she wasn't going to let Killian know that. Her heart and her head had been at war the entire way home. Should she just give in and give Killian a chance or was it just too risky? Things were going well between her and Killian. They might be becoming friends and Emma wasn't keen on throwing a spanner into that. He deserved better than her anyway.
"Ah, so he didn't meet Emma Swan's standards?" He teased. Secretly, Killian was ecstatic that the date hadn't worked out. You idiot. How can you be happy about this?
Emma snorted as she hung up her jacket. "The guy wouldn't have met the lowest standards. He kept talking about himself and then tried to make me pay for food I didn't end up eating. I'm starving by the way."
"I made some chicken teriyaki with broccoli." Killian told her. "It's in the fridge."
"Cool." Emma walked further into the apartment. "I'm going to change, then we're going to find a movie and have a night in."
As he watched her head into her bedroom, Killian's heart pounded in his chest. Emma wanted to hang out with him? After a disappointing date? Did she want his company or did she feel that she had no choice? Was he reading too much into this? He was probably reading too much into this.
His internal debate on the matter was interrupted by Emma returning, now dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants with all of her makeup removed. He watched her move to the kitchen heading straight to the fridge for the leftovers.
As she popped the food in the microwave, curiosity got the better of him. "Was the food at the restaurant bad?"
"No." Emma said taking a Coke from the fridge. "It was good from what little I ate. I just lost my appetite early on."
Killian grimaced. "He was that bad."
He wasn't you. Emma berated herself for the thought, but it was true.
Killian watched as conflict in her eyes before something seemed to snap in her.
"He was just so narcissistic." She started, sounding annoyed. "From the minute we met to when I left it all I heard was how he was going to be the greatest writer of our generation. How he'd break records for the best seller lists. How he'd be richer than J.K. Rowling. It's like how much of an ego can one person have?"
Having never seen the rambling side of Emma before, Killian was slightly taken aback before grinning. Was this a side of Emma that only her friends were privy to? Were they friends?
Emma took her food from the microwave and joined him on the couch, sitting closer to him than she would have normally dared. "I mean what guy talks about the fame and glory he's yet to achieve for nearly two hours! I've been on terrible dates before where guys talk on and on about their life story, but this was like some whole other level of either narcissism or covering up some deep seated insecurities!"
He couldn't help it, really, because her face was flushed and her nose scrunched up in her adorable way, her brows furrowed with indignation: he laughed.
Emma ceased her ranting, startled by his laughter. It certainly wasn't the reaction that she expected, but more than that, it was the first time she had heard him laugh before. Sure he chuckled, but his laugh was so different. It was a deep and hearty laugh that began in his gut and worked its way up through him, forcing his head back and his mouth to widen in a broad happy expression. It was a sound that Emma found she wanted to hear again. She couldn't help but smile at him, playfully hitting his arm. "It's not funny."
Killian struggled to recover. "You're right." A smaller laugh escaped. "I'm sorry." He cleared his throat and managed to compose himself the best he could, that broad grin remaining on his face. "It's really not funny how he treated you, but I've never seen you rant before. It's adorable."
A blush dominance's her face, both from embarrassment at his words and naturally reacting to his compliment. "I'm not adorable." She huffed.
"Cute, then?" He boldly teased.
Another huff escaped her, but she was still smiling. She grabbed the remote from him, ignoring the tingling her fingers felt from brushing against his. "My turn to pick the movie."
A text came in on Belle's phone as she cooked breakfast.
"Ugh, if it's that Isaac guy again, tell him to leave you alone or we'll file harassment charges." Ruby grumbled, sipping her coffee.
Isaac had blown Belle's phone up last night with texts about how rude Emma had been and how Belle was going to collect money for Emma for her part of the dinner bill. Belle had politely texted back and apologized, though insincere since she knew the date wouldn't end well, on Emma's behalf citing that it was unusual behavior on Emma's part.
That hadn't silenced the incensed Isaac, forcing Belle to ignore the rest of his texts.
Belle reluctantly checked the notification and was relieved that it was from Emma. "It's Emma."
"Thank, God." Ruby said. "What's she got to say for herself?"
Hey Belle. Sorry I bailed on Isaac.
Belle quickly shot a text back. That's okay.
"She's sorry." Belle said. "There's nothing to apologize for though. Isaac is a jerk."
Ruby narrowed her eyes. "You still haven't said what you're up to."
"Despite your valiant efforts." Belle shot her a cheeky smile as the phone buzzed again.
I do feel bad, but it just didn't click. Emma's response said.
Belle wanted to laugh. Leaving mid-date was more than just a reaction to the lack of sparks. It's fine, Emma. Honestly, he's apparently a jerk anyway.
Uh oh?
Don't worry about it. Belle reassured her friend. Besides, Belle could handle Isaac, and if she couldn't, well it was a good thing that Ruby was a violently protective girlfriend.
Still. He wasn't bad, just annoying. Hanging with Killian was more fun.
Her eyes read over the message twice. Mentioning hanging out with Killian in a text? That was very interesting. Though Belle wasn't sure if that proved her theory or if Emma considered Killian a friend. She wasn't sure which side to lean towards, but she did know that it took Emma quite a while to warm up to people and it was very clear that Emma warmed up to Killian very quickly. Too quickly, perhaps? Belle couldn't say for sure. Careful of her words, Belle decided to pry.
Oh? What did you guys do?
Just watched a movie. Was Emma innocuous response.
"You have a look." Ruby told her, munching on the finished bacon.
"What kind of look?" Belle asked as she texted Emma back.
Sounds like fun. What movie?
"The kind of look when you're researching a paper and you're starting to figure out what you're writing." Ruby explained. "You get the same look when you read a book and you piece together the plot before the end."
Empire Strikes Back. You didn't tell me he was such a geek! He quoted the whole movie!
That did get a laugh from Belle, who showed it to Ruby.
Ruby laughed too. "Just wait for when they both find out they're Potterheads."
"Ooh, I should throw that out there." Belle said.
Just wait. Watch Prisoner of Azkaban with him.
Emma's response was immediate. What?! He's a Potterhead?!
Hufflepuff to boot.
"Yep, that got her attention." Belle hummed.
Ruby narrowed her eyes. "You will tell me what you're up to."
"You will let it go." Belle shot back.
"I could if I would but I can't so I shan't." Ruby rhymed. "Should I annoy it out of you? After all sex and begging didn't work, so I don't have a lot to work with."
"When did you beg?" Belle asked. "I clearly remember the sex, but I think I was begging you for more. You, however, didn't beg."
"Would begging work?" Ruby perked up.
"Nope." Belle popped the 'p' and are the last bite of her breakfast.
"Please, please, please." Ruby pouted.
"Nope." Belle scurried back to their bedroom, Ruby hot on her heels.
Ruby tackled a giggling Belle onto the bed, attacking her with kisses. "Tell me, tell me, tell me."
"Never." Belle laughed, trying to wriggle away. "You'll never break me!"
"Yes, I will!" Ruby cackled. "Victory will be mine!"
"Never!" Belle managed to roll Ruby off of her and grabbed a pillow. "Back off, monster!"
Ruby playfully snarled. "I'll get you my pretty and your little pillow too!"
"I'm not even going to ask." Killian's voice surprised them both. They turned and saw Killian standing in the doorway of the bedroom, brow arched. Sweating and sporting running clothes, it was clear he had been on a run. "Sorry to interrupt, but Emma texted me to ask you both to a movie night at our apartment. Apparently neither of you were answering her."
"I was busy attacking my girlfriend." Ruby shrugged with a grin.
"I was busy defending myself with a pillow." Belle explained.
Killian shook his head, before walking away. "Be at ours by seven!" He called back.
When they heard the door shut, the couple erupted into giggles.
"So we going?" Ruby asked.
Belle thought over her theory. Time to see if she was right. "Yep."
Emma entered the apartment carrying a brown paper sack of wine bottles for movie night tonight. "Killian?"
Her roommate was no where to be seen, but Emma smelled food cooking in the empty kitchen.
Killian had insisted on making homemade pizzas tonight and from the looks of it, he was successful and the pizzas were cooking in the oven, the timer counting down until they were ready.
She went down the hall looking for the home chef. "Killian?"
Peaking in his room, she found that he wasn't there either. When she turned around, she crashed into something hard, and hands landed on her hips, steadying her. Her eyes stayed forward, facing Killian's bare chest, a hand instinctively rising up to rest over the wispy dark curls.
Killian breathed sharply, looking down at Emma, seeing her eyes glaze over as she stared at his chest. He swallowed hard, and spoke, if only to keep himself from making a mistake. "There was an issue with the pizza sauce. I had to get the stain out."
She heard his words, but her mind was focused on how soft yet coarse his chest hair was against the palm of her hand, vividly recalling how it felt brushing against her that night.
"Emma?" Killian needed her to look up at him. If she didn't, he was going to do something they'd probably regret.
Emma looked up, meeting his eyes, losing her breath at the intensity in them. They looked at each other, not speaking, breathing slowly as the air crackled between them. "Killian." His name escaped her breathlessly.
Her lips were on his before either of them could form a conscious thought. A hand found itself behind his neck, pulling him closer. They stumbled back into Killian's bedroom.
His hands tightened on her hips, pulling her closer, kissing her desperately. He had dreamed of this moment for a month, wishing that he could have her in his arms again and show her how he felt, and here she was kissing him. Emma was kissing him.
Emma didn't think as she ran her hands through his hair, pulling him to her, desperate to taste him. Her mouth opened for him, allowing him to deepen the kiss.
When Emma moaned into the kiss, Killian's hands slipped under the hem of her shirt, finding her warm, bare skin, his fingers tenderly teasing a path along her spine. His lungs were burning for air, but he could care less as they fell onto his bed.
"Hey guys, we're here!" Ruby called out. "We brought pie!"
Instantly, Emma pushed Killian off of her and stood up. Her breathing shaky, Emma knew that she must look flushed, and Ruby and Belle couldn't find them like this. Especially with Killian still shirtless, on his bed, a noticeable bulge in his pants.
"Coming!" Emma called out. She looked back at Killian, who was staring up at the ceiling. Emma wasn't sure if he was trying to calm himself, or if he couldn't look at her. "Put a shirt on and wait a few minutes." She told him quietly.
Killian swallowed. "As you wish."
Emma tried not to read into his words as she headed to the bathroom to make sure she didn't look like she didn't just make out with her roommate.
Killian pushed himself off the bed and walked over to his dresser, grabbing the first t-shirt he could. Once he pulled it on, he looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. What the hell did he just do?
Screw everything up, that's what.
"Hey." Ruby knocked on the doorframe as she entered the room.
Killian turned towards her. "Hey."
"You okay?" Ruby asked.
"Fine." Killian ran a hand through his hair. "What's up?"
A nervous expression crossed Ruby's face. "Well, I have some news."
"Bad news?" He asked, noting her tone.
"Not bad." Ruby shrugged. "I'm just not sure how you'll take it."
That was enough to make Killian wary, his emotions already all over the place after what just happened with Emma. "Just rip the bandaid off then."
Ruby took a breath. "Mary Margaret called."
He stiffened up, anxiety throwing itself into his tumultuous emotions. "Oh?"
"She's pregnant."
It was as though his entire body was shocked by static electricity. His best friends were going to have a baby. Ex-best friends. Who's fault is that? Killian shook his head lightly. "That's…great."
"She wanted you to know." Ruby continued. "They miss you."
That was just another punch to the gut. He didn't want to hear about how people missed him; he didn't deserve it.
"Pizza's ready!" Emma called out.
Killian was glad for the interruption. He wasn't keen to have the conversation that would inevitably follow. Killian left the room, Ruby trailing behind.
As he entered the living room, his eyes automatically found Emma.
Her eyes flicked to him, before focusing on her pizza.
His heart ached at the thought of Emma avoiding him, because he screwed up.
Isn't that what you always do? You always ruin everything.
Killian put on a smile and greeted Belle, before grabbing pizza and a glass of wine, wishing it was rum.
It was going to be a long night.
Emma tried hard to focus on the movie, but her eyes kept finding Killian.
He had opted to sit in his armchair while they watched the movie; Belle and Ruby were curled up together on one side of the couch, leaving the rest of the couch for Emma.
It was clear to her that he hadn't paid any attention to the movie at all, lost in his own thoughts. There were no comments made on his part, his eyes staring off into space.
Emma wasn't any better, not talking at all, worried about him and what she had done. God, she had fucked up big time.
Belle and Ruby seemed to pick up on the tension too, trying to make funny and snarky comments and trying and failing to get Emma and Killian to participate. This was supposed to be a night of hanging out and having a good time, but it was all too tense.
Eventually, Ruby and Belle fell quiet as well.
Belle was looming between Emma and Killian, wondering if something had happened before she and Ruby arrived since Killian was brooding and Emma kept sending him nervous looks.
Ruby was too focused on Killian to notice Emma's demeanor. She shouldn't have told him about Mary Margaret's news. Even five years later, he still didn't date, because of Milah and now finding out his friends were having a baby was bound to throw him back into memories of how things ended with Milah.
No one really noticed the movie was ending until the credits rolled.
Killian excused himself quickly, leaving for the bathroom.
The girls began the clean up.
"What's up with Killian?" Belle asked Emma, hoping for some insight.
Emma looked panicked at the question, which confirmed for Belle that something had definitely happened earlier tonight.
"It's my fault." Ruby groaned.
Both Emma and Belle looked at her surprised.
"I told Killian some news." Ruby said. "Some old friends from Storybrooke are having a baby."
"Isn't that good news?" Emma asked.
"It is, and on some level Killian is probably happy for them." Ruby sighed. "There was just this thing that happened before he left."
"Milah?" Belle questioned. Belle knew the bare minimum about the Milah story since Killian didn't like talking about it and Ruby was wary of the subject as well.
Ruby grimaced. "Yeah."
"Wait, who's Milah?" Emma hadn't heard of her before, but then again, she and Killian barely knew each other. Plus, it's not like either tried very hard to get to know each other.
Ruby glanced down the hall. She turned back to Emma and whispered. "Killian's ex. It was a scandalous thing for a small town."
"Why?" Emma asked, surprising herself.
Ruby hesitated, again looking down the hall to make sure Killian wasn't listening. "Milah was old enough to be Killian's mother. In fact, she had a son that was just a year older than us. To top that off, she was married and her husband was the wealthiest man in town."
Emma grimaced. Even without knowing more than that, anyone could tell that that was a love story where a happy ending was guaranteed never to happen. "Do I want to know how this ends?"
"Well, Killian left town five years ago, doesn't date or have friends outside of us, and can't even call his own brother or best friends." Ruby listed off. "So, no, you really don't want to know."
If it was what drove Killian to isolate himself and protect his heart, Emma could understand that. After Neal, after jail, she drifted around for years working thankless jobs with long hours and returning to cheap, shitty apartments. Then she came to Boston and had trouble with the law, and Cleo found her and took a chance on her.
Yet, even after these past couple of years with Cleo mentoring her, Ruby and Belle as her friends, Emma still tried to keep a wall up between them and her. Being alone was something that she had learned to live with a long time ago. Trusting others just wasn't something that she did, even with her friends.
It seemed that she and Killian had more similarities than she realized. There was an unspoken understanding between them, something that told them that they knew why the other was the way that they were.
"Wait, why would news that his friends are having a baby upset Killian?" Belle asked, her brows furrowed.
Ruby's eyes widened with worry as if she said too much. "It's just a reminder. You know, of how he's missing out, because he thinks he deserves it or something."
Emma narrowed her eyes, knowing that Ruby was lying. There was something else going on.
"We should go." Ruby said.
Belle looked ready to protest, but Ruby was already gathering her things. Belle turned to Emma. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Emma crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to flush as the kiss with Killian came to the forefront of her mind.
The other woman didn't look convinced. "I just thought that maybe something happened before Ruby and I came over."
This time Emma couldn't stop herself from being flustered. "No, no, nothing happened. We're good. It's all good."
Belle made a noncommittal sound, but said nothing more as she turned away and headed to the door where Ruby was waiting.
Emma let them out and they said their goodbyes. As soon as she shut the door, Emma banged her head against the wood and groaned loudly.
Not only did she fuck things up completely with Killian, but now Belle suspected something.
Great, just great. What am I going to do now?
He hated the look that was staring back at him in the mirror. That haunted, sad, wounded look that made him feel like he was a kid again.
Killian scrubbed a hand over his face. His emotions were all over the place and he had no idea how to process everything.
When he thought about the fact that Mary Margaret was pregnant, that she and David were going to be parents, he was truly happy for them. It was just hard to hear. After what happened with Milah…Killian had been young, he still was, but he was willing to step up and be the man that Milah needed.
Be the father that he needed to be.
Then Milah decided it all for them. No more baby, and no more relationship.
It had been hell, the looks the he got in the streets, people who pitied him, people who looked down on him. Liam always lecturing him, his friends constantly trying to advise him, Gold lurking around with silent threats.
He wanted to go home, but as long as Gold and Milah were there, he couldn't heal from the scars she left on his heart, and he didn't want anyone to suffer Gold's wrath just by associating with him. Gold hadn't done anything before Killian left, but there were warnings. Warnings that no one else had to know about.
No, he couldn't go home again.
Then there was Emma.
She kissed him. He kissed her back. It was everything that he had hoped for since she had left him that night.
Killian could still feel her lips against his; how soft and pliant they were, how aggressive. There was so much passion within her; she left her mark on him, that was for sure. Even though she kissed him, Killian was worried that he might've pushed her. He had been so careful to keep his distance and give her the space that she needed, but now, he might've scared her off.
Things were beginning to go well with her. They were becoming friends and learning to live with each other.
With that kiss, Killian felt a sense of dread at the thought of Emma retreating behind her armor and pushing him away. The last thing he wanted was for her to avoid him again; for either of them to be uncomfortable. He had no idea how to fix this.
An apology was a good start, but what if Emma didn't accept it? What if she didn't want to hear what he had to say?
Why did she even kiss him in the first place?
Killian closed his eyes, a headache growing in his temples. It was all too much to think about. He rubbed at his head, leaving the bathroom.
He checked the living room to find the girls gone. Hopefully, Emma was still here. Killian walked back to her room, finding the door shut. His hand came up to knock, but he hesitated. Would she answer if he knocked? Would she give him a chance to talk to her?
He stared at the door for a moment longer, before backing away. With a sigh, he decided to give them both time.
They could talk about it in the morning.
The first thing I do want to say is that I am absolutely not trying to villainize Milah. Every mention of her so far are from people who were Team Killian or hurt by her (i.e. Killian) so these are very biased POVs (Liam especially in Killian's memories as he's overprotective big brother) so Milah has no defense, because Killian, Ruby, and Liam amongst literally everyone else, don't know the whole story. I hope to reveal the truth eventually. But Milah is definitely not the villain of this story.
Also, I hope I'm doing some slow burn CS. I'm trying to do time skips so we can get to Emma's pregnancy reveal, but I also want to do CS justice.
Red Beauty was also very cute.
Mary Margaret's pregnancy was always planned and it will be plot relevant.
Stay tuned for the next chapter where there will be something we all want…I hope lol.
Until next time lovelies!