As the harbinger sun rose, signifying another special day, the Evans, cozy in their bed, began to awake. Only, something felt different this morning. Similar to Evan's previous nap awakening, he felt tight, his personal space feeling even more infiltrated than usual. He fluttered his eyes, trying to focus on what the problem was, and sat up. The bed shifted and creaked. Finally clearing his vision, Evan looked forward.
Four identical, screechy gasps were exhausted.
There were now four Evans, all in their undergarments, sitting criss-cross on the bed. All four, in complete and utter shock, felt each other's bodies to make sure they were not imagining it.
Finally coming to senses, one Evan let out a "Wait!". "Oh yeah!" another Evan responded. "The wish!" a third interrupted. "Our wish for the wedding: an audience!" the fourth finished. All four Evans let out a joyful, dorky laughs that resonated with each other to create a strange echo, which led to more laughter, which thus led to a skin-slapping group hug.
"So" one Evan started as they all collectively traveled to the kitchen "We need a plan." "Right, so we set up a fake marriage, and one of us can pretend to be the preacher." "But which two of us get to get married?" This stumbled their brains of the four boys, until one came up with a solution. "Let's just take turns? A pair of us goes, and then the second pair?" "Nice thinking, me" the other three Evans snorted.
"Wait..." one Evan interjected with a somewhat serious voice. "No offense... to anyone... but I want to marry the me I was with yesterday... so... which one of you is it. Raise your hand if you were Hans yesterday when we were singing." All four Evans half-rose their hand. "What the...? Raise your hand if you were Anna." All four half-rose their hands again, and one replied. "It's weird... I sorta remember... doing both?" Perplexed, one Evan tried to make sense of it. "Maybe when we split... all of our memories are put together and distributed evenly?" "God... this is so weird... lets just not think about this magic mumbo-jumbo and just enjoy this wedding... we'll pick partners randomly."
And so the Evans moved on to the next topic: wedding preparation. They split up their jobs in order to quickly set up for the ceremony. Two Evans decorated using leftovers party decorations found in the basement. Another picked out some special clothing for the night: white boxer briefs for the grooms and black boxer briefs the observers. The fourth Evan was cursed with a job no Evan would even dare want: food duty. They obviously did not have enough food at the house for a real party, and they wanted something special for the big day.
Using their laptop, they ordered four large pizzas and a few liters of soda. As they waited for the pizza to arrive, the chosen Evan, the only one forced to wear clothes at the moment, paced around the house full of sheer nervousness. "Wh.. what if I lose my voice? What if I close the door on him while he's counting change? Wh... what if I don't tip well? Wh... what if I call him "Dad!?" Wh..." One of the other Evans grabbed him by the head. Even though the three other Evans hearts were racing just as fast out of anxiety, they knew they had to help their chosen self out of this dark place they knew all too well. "Sh... sh... it's gonna be OK, we'll be right here for you when you're done. Just don't think hard about it... I know it's hard... but I... we believe in you." The other two Evans came up and grabbed him by the shoulders.
Looking into six shining blue eyes, Evan reached into his spirit and grabbed onto an essence of willpower, as he now knew he had a reason to fight his anxiety. The three Evans each reached in for a kiss, one on the lips, and one on each cheek. Just as they pulled away, the doorbell rang. It was the moment of truth. The destined Evan walked up to the door as the other three hid behind the nearest wall. Opening the door, Evan was as prepared as he would ever be.
"Hey boss I got four large pizzas for ya and four soft drinks?" the pizza man spoke. "Y... yeah" Evan replied. "That will be $48.50." Evan awkwardly handed him a five ten dollar bills and patiently waited for the change. After trading the money for the pizza, the delivery man ended the trial with a "Have a nice day." "You.. too" Evan said as he rapidly closed the door.
Turning around, Evan saw his three lookalikes smiling with extreme pride. Placing the pizza on the table, he grabbed onto one of his doubles and started intensely making out with him. The other two followed his lead and started making out.
Their fervor while making out eventually led all four to the couch in the living room. Two Evans were sitting back to the cushion, legs down, while the other two were on roosted on top of their adjacent's legs. By the time the pizza Evan reached the living room, his entire outfit was stripped off except for his iconic boxer briefs and socks.
This session went on for quite a bit of time. There was a lot of switching back and forth between partners, performed in many different stances. At the climax, all four Evans were laying on the couch, squeezed into one another like a sandwich, still passionately kissing all the way. The Evans particularly liked four-way kissing, where all four set of lips interlocked into a tangle of love. They also brought back their favorite part, butt clenching, even with the trouble it caused last time.
Eventually, the excitement of overcoming hurdles settled down, and all four Evans were calmly and comfortably sitting on the couch.
"Wew, I've never felt so much positive emotion in my life." All four Evans were still gasping for air, so their identical "uh huhs" of agreement came out soft, yet gleeful.
With homemade wedding decorations throughout the house, one Evan, finally with oxygen in his lungs, spoke. "You know... I'm kinda tired to get wed... think we should wait til tomorrow for the big day?" The other Evans, of course, agreed. "Oh my god imagine waking up tomorrow and all of us feeling all four experiences today... including the pizza delivery and the... ahem... love making." This thought got all the Evans giddy.
Postponing the wedding until the next day, the four Evans spent the rest of the day doing things they used to do with two people, with four: singing, watching TV, even playing board games. Now that there were four of them, the Evans could now play some of their favorite board games. They even began planning their own Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Their role playing ran right into the night, and all four Evans were out of energy by eleven.
Another misfortune was that not all four Evans could comfortably sleep on the bed, so two coin-flip-losing Evans had to sleep together in a sleeping bag on the floor. "Honestly" they thought "I don't even mind this," as they were even more snug with their partner.
As they all began to rest, one sleeping bag Evan inquired "any wishes for tonight guys? The last two came true." They all had the same wish, of course. "You know... it would be nice to have an even bigger audience for our wedding" a bed Evan replied. "Yeah. Not to mention how my days get exponentially better with the more of us there are." "Maybe we should word our wishes more vaguely though, as that's how we did the last two times."
They thunk for a second before they all came up with the same idea. Speaking at the same time, all four Evans said:
"I wish there was a large group of people that loved and cared for me equally, and as equals." This quote stuck with them as they all quickly fell asleep, excited for the rewards in store for them tomorrow.