Chapter Seven - Wishing for a Moment

James squinted against the crimson of the sunrise and watched as the full moon faded quickly against the horizon. They walked slowly, and James felt sleepiness wash over his body, but his mind was turning over incessantly. He felt slightly apologetic for his obvious lack of interest in the festivities of the night before. This night, with Remus in the Shrieking Shack, had always been reserved solely for his friends. He had found himself wishing he could be elsewhere, and that thought seemed traitorous, especially in this situation.

"Are you okay, Prongs?"

James snapped his eyes away from the fading moon, and stared at Sirius.

"Er- yeah, mate. Maybe I'm just tired."

Sirius grinned. "As long as you're still up for the prank on Snape."

"Definitely." He shook a hand through his hair, looking at Peter on his other side. "You're coming, right Wormtail?"

He nodded, smiling carefully.

"We'll have to wait until tonight though, so Moony is back to enjoy this." Sirius had a gleam in his eye that always made James grin.

James nodded. Tonight…she has Astronomy. He sighed. He was absolutely hopeless. He had kissed many girls, even a few really beautiful girls. But they had never made him think about them even when he was with his friends. He had always been pleased when they took him aside for a snogging session, but he rarely left the company of the Marauders to search for said girl. He had never been the one to pursue like this, or at least to want to. Something about her…he was becoming ridiculous. He was going to have to hide this from her. Was it the way she kissed? He remembered that clearly; it had only been the day before. He felt like he needed to try that again to be sure…He grinned quietly.

"You look like you're pleased with yourself. Have you found another girl?" Sirius was smirking, and James was sure he had a goofy look on his face. It quickly became a frown as he realized how close Sirius came to the truth.

He could never tell them. He glanced at where the full moon had been and realized that it had completely disappeared. He had never kept something like this from his friends.

"Er- no."

Sirius shook his head. "Did you give up the one you took to Hogsmeade? Because she was rather attractive, if you don't mind me-"

James smirked. "You can have her, Padfoot."

"Was she that bad of a kisser?"

"No, she's not my type."

Sirius stopped, causing James to stop walking as well. They were now in view of the Entrance Hall doors. "Not your type? You've gone crazy, Potter. I think I need to admit you."

James shrugged, struggling to keep a straight face. "Oh, I'm perfectly sane. Far more sane than you, in fact." He turned his head slightly. "Wouldn't you agree, Peter?"

Peter grinned, looking back at Sirius, who raised an eyebrow. "There are things you still don't know about me, Potter. I would watch it."

"Or you'll hurt me? You would never do that to your very best fr- hey!" James found himself lying in a pile of leaves, and glared up at Sirius half-heartedly. Sirius shrugged and began walking towards the castle again. Peter glanced at James and then opted to follow Sirius.

"Alright, Padfoot. I see how much you love me! And I'm going to lay here and soak up that love, so expect a very large hug when I get back."

Sirius turned his head, grinning, and continued to walk away. James shifted onto his side and peered at the leaves beneath him. The faint light reflected every spectrum of red back at him, with a few shades of yellow and orange in between. He picked one of the red ones up…No, it was more of an auburn color. James grinned to himself, wondering if he was still thinking of leaves, or another subject to which he was swiftly becoming addicted. He had always liked autumn.

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"We'll meet up with you later, Kristen," Selene called over her shoulder, dragging Lily along with one hand on her bag. Lily waved absently at Kristen as Selene turned back towards her.

"Ready for another night filled with star-crossed fun?" Selene smirked.

Lily frowned and bit her lip. She turned towards her friend. "I wish you would not refer to Astronomy as 'star-crossed fun'."

Selene shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Lily fell into silence as they walked slowly towards the Astronomy tower. She had been quiet all day, lost in her own thoughts. James had looked awfully tired in class, and he met her eyes a few times, but she knew they couldn't linger. It was difficult, when she felt his gaze on her all throughout class. He looked as if he had been up all night, and she wondered why. She was a little short on sleep herself, and most of that was because of him. She was sure his reason had much less to do with her. She wondered if he could already want to take back what had happened. Perhaps that was why he continued staring.

They approached the curving stairs and began to climb. Selene turned towards her redheaded friend. "Why so quiet?"

Lily shrugged. "I'm tired."

"You're acting like you have some horrible thing to do tomorrow, or something."

Lily completed the last step with a sigh. "If you only knew," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Selene opened her mouth to reply as they entered the classroom, but her newly found boyfriend approached them, and the raven-haired girl broke into a grin. "Isn't he gorgeous, Lily?" Selene whispered as he came closer.

Lily smirked. "You think everything male is gorgeous."

"That is completely not true. What about-"

"Hello ladies," he greeted them with a smooth smile.

Lily smiled back. "Hello."

Selene grinned. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yes, a whole day," he replied with a wink.

Lily shook her head and started towards the window.

Selene called after her, "Hey, Lily, do you mind if we-"

She waved a hand dismissively in response, "Of course not. Go ahead."

Selene smiled and the two of them disappeared.

Lily sighed, turning back towards the constellations. Her assignment for the night was to identify twenty, and she wanted to finish this as quickly as possible. She pulled her reference sheet out of her bag and then dropped it onto the floor, peering at the first few constellations on the parchment.

"I love Jupiter," a dreamy voice declared beside her.

Lily gave the girl astrange look and then turned away, smiling to herself. Her eyes traced several stars and she attempted to discern the shape they made. It looked kind of like a broom…and hair….messy hair against the black sky. Lily frowned, clearing her throat. She was going mad. Stars don't look like hair, Lily. She tried again, her eyes wandering to her left. That constellation looked more like….a lop-sided grin. Her frown deepened. What was wrong with her? Perhaps that was Sirius…Or James? Lily threw down her sheet and let out a noise of frustration.

"Whoa, what's wrong?" Selene had reappeared at her side.

"I can't concentrate," Lily grumbled, closing her eyes. When Selene didn't answer, Lily looked over at her. She was frowning and running a hand over the window ledge. "What's wrong?"

Selene rolled her eyes. "Nothing, we just argued. It's nothing. I have horrible taste in men, really."

Lily smiled weakly. "I've told you that a million times. When will you start believing me?"

Selene shrugged, smirking as she picked Lily's reference parchment up for her. "When I find a good one."

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James pushed Sirius's hand off of his arm. "Hey, no touching. I'm not homosexual, like you, Sirius." If there was one thing he disliked about his prized invisibility cloak, it was the closeness it forced. Unless, of course, he was with a girl.

Sirius grinned sheepishly at his friend, "Sorry."

"How do you know Snape is in the library, anyway?"

Sirius sighed. "It was on the map, you disbeliever. Besides, I know everything."

"Right."

"Scoot over, Wormtail."

"I can't!"

"Shh! Someone is coming," a tired Remus held out a hand for them all to stop.

James whipped his head around and watched for the approaching shadow. He maneuvered them to the right and then realized that they were passing someone he very much did not wish to see, unless they were alone.

Lily Evans stopped, having heard their movements. She squinted in confusion and then shrugged. Brushing her long hair over her shoulders, she began walking again only to trip over a box in front of her.

"Nufgh," she muttered, sitting up and rubbing her leg. She inclined her head, glaring about her.

"What did you do that for?" James whispered to Sirius.

"So that we have more time to think of a good curse." He raised his wand, aiming it at the Head Girl.

James's eyes flashed. "No!" He said rather loudly, grabbing onto Sirius's wand and lowering it.

Lily heard this last comment, and as she rose and dusted off her robes, she turned to face the invisible boys. "Is there someone here?" She asked quietly.

James stared at her helplessly, wishing more than anything that he could grab her arm and take her along. Or simply take her away to someplace where they could be alone.

She frowned and began walking away, more quickly this time, and peering at the ground for any other misplaced objects. Once she rounded the corner, Sirius turned towards James.

"What was that all about?"

James looked away. "I can't let you hurt her. We have things to do for Dumbledore tomorrow, and I'm not bloody doing it all myself."

Sirius gave him a strange look, but reluctantly seemed to accept this explanation. "I wouldn't have injured her that badly."

James shrugged, grinning to look normal. "Well, with you, I never know."

"Too right, you don't. I'm glad you've learned, mate." He clapped James on the back and they continued their progress towards the library and an unsuspecting Snape.

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Lily was becoming restless. She had known this was a bad idea from the start. She and James had no time to work on uniting the school, let alone time to sneak off together. She hated that she had kissed him, because apparently it was never going to happen again, although she desperately wanted it to. It's only been three days. Why are you so batty already? But in those three days, she had seen him a million times. Yet she could barely risk looking at him for too long, let alone talking to him. Or kissing him. The latter was what she found herself really wanting to do, though it made her blush and wonder what had happened to her logic.

So she found herself, on this third night of what she called torture, in the Gryffindor common room with Kristen, peering at her Potions essay. Suddenly, she threw down her quill and snapped her book shut.

Kristen looked up. "Okay there?"

Lily sighed. "Yes. I think I'm going to go for a walk."

"Do you want me to come?"

Lily smiled. "No, it's okay. I need to do patrols soon anyway." The last part was true. She had agreed to do patrols that night because of James's detention.

She left her book sitting carefully on her chair and made her way to the portrait hole. She walked through and turned to her right, only to feel a hand grab her arm. She looked back and saw James standing behind her. Her arm tingled as he dropped it, taking a step backwards. Lily glanced around them and found the corridor momentarily silent. She turned back to James, who was staring at her without shame.

"Are you- I mean- do you-" Lily blushed, but refused to drop his gaze.

James cursed. "I have detention tonight," he mumbled.

"I know." She bit her lip.

He took a step closer to her, but they heard voices rounding the corner, and he jumped back. Sirius, Remus, and Peter spotted James and quickened their pace. Sirius slapped James on the back, and he gave a half-smile, obviously disappointed. He glanced over at Lily just as Selene appeared beside them as well.

Selene stopped, gazing around at the animated Marauders. Lily thought she looked slightly upset. Sirius, preoccupied in his imitation of one of the least-talented professors, stumbled backwards and elbowed Selene.

Her cheeks heated and she shoved Sirius away from her. "Watch where you're going, dumbass."

Sirius spun around and scowled when he spotted Selene. "Don't touch me, Ausculto. I don't want your contaminated hands on me."

"Fuck you," Selene hissed.

James shifted his eyes away from Lily to look at his friend.

Sirius clenched a fist. "Take your slutty friend out of my sight, Evans." He scowled at them both.

James looked at Lily and then back at Sirius, who was stepping towards the two girls. James grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "Don't, Sirius."

"Why not?"

"Because we already have detention."

Sirius turned to stare at him. "When has that ever mattered?"

James looked at Lily as if to say, Go now, and she nodded. She pulled Selene along behind her, and disappeared back into the portrait hole.

Kristen looked up as the two girls approached, and frowned at their flushed faces.

"What happened?"

Selene let out a list of expletives, while Lily bit her lip. "We ran into some Cavillors, that's all."

Selene slipped into the seat next to her and rubbed her head.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked suddenly, casting concerned eyes towards her friend.

Selene dropped her hand. "I'm fine." She sighed sadly, "I broke up with him."

Kristen frowned apologetically.

"I'm sorry," Lily told her, and she meant it in more ways than one.

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Lily shut her eyes and leaned against the tree behind her. The cool breeze flew around her face, and strands of auburn hair slipped out of her carefully placed bun. She held a book in her lap, and it was helping her get nowhere. She had not wanted to sit in the Heads common room to do this research, though she knew that was probably safer. Her friends would certainly question her motives for reading essays on the Cavillor and Ausculto divide. She was sure she could talk her way out of it, but lying was beginning to frustrate her.

She opened her eyes with a sigh and stared at the lake in front of her. She had no choice. She hadn't been able to say more than five words to James all week. Perhaps if she were getting some sort of benefit out of lying, she would be more apt to do it, but she was getting nothing. Not even help with this research, unless he had been doing that on his own. She reached over and grabbed a leaf that clashed perfectly with her hair, and stuck it between the pages of the book, carefully folding it shut.

She heard the crunch of leaves behind her and shoved the book into her bag, hiding the title.

"Hello,"

Lily got to her feet and spun around. James was facing her, his hands in his pockets and hair falling into his face. "Er- hi." She stared at him.

He stepped closer, and she shot him a warning glance. "There are people watching."

James growled, "They're not going to know whether we're arguing or talking. Don't worry about them."

"They'll know if you-"

"I'm not going to kiss you here."

Lily's eyes widened. "I wasn't- I'm not-"

"I want to, though," he said quietly, tilting his head to watch her reaction.

She licked her lips, her face heating. She stuck her hands in the pockets of her robe. "Who says I would let you?"

James smiled at her, and then glanced around them. "This is incredibly frustrating."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Lily kicked the pile of leaves beneath her. She took a deep breath and took a step closer. "What if I want to kiss you?"

James groaned. "I have detention tonight."

Lily frowned and took a step backwards. Their eyes met and she nodded. "This is completely hopeless." She made a move to go past him, and he caught her arm.
"I've been doing some research on my own, so maybe we can meet-"

"Later, James," she said quietly, watching as her friends walked out of the castle, gazing around. "I have to go." He spotted them too, and nodded, though his scowl deepened as she left.

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"Prongs, I have devised a plan to rid you of your misery," Sirius stated proudly, dropping his dust rag onto the floor.

"What misery?"

Sirius gave him a pointed look, and gestured around, "This misery."

"Yes, I see that we're in detention."

Sirius shook his head. "I found you a girl, Potter. You can at least show your gratitude."

James's head shot around. "I don't want a girl, Sirius. I don't think-"

Sirius frowned. "What do you mean you don't want- is this about Elizabeth? Because you told me you didn't like her."

"This isn't about Liz and- don't look at me like that."

Sirius shrugged. "You've been acting rather strange lately, Prongs."

James dropped the polish and cursed. "Sometimes I wish we had detention separately."

"We always have it separately, you idiot. This is a special occasion. McGonagall sees the need for us to bond."

"Somehow I doubt that," James grinned at his friend.

Sirius rubbed his chin. "Yes, you're probably right. But perhaps Minnie has finally given into my exquisite charms and- Ow!"

James smirked and threw another rag at his friend. "You have no charm, mate. And it's best that you remember it."

"Yes, well. We're getting to the bottom of your misery, don't you worry. Stop trying to get me off subject, I see through you."

James frowned, looking down at his shoes again. If I told you why I'm miserable, Padfoot, you would probably disown me as a friend. James sighed and continued polishing the latest trophy for the best catch in a thousand years of Gryffindor quidditch.

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Lily felt her chest tightening. Every time she looked over Kristen's shoulder he was watching. How long had it been? A week? She couldn't remember as she looked down at her plate. She swallowed what was left of her fruit, after chewing it so violently.

She wanted to be someplace else. This would not do; this feeling and her wishing. She dropped her fork with a loud clank, and proceeded to wipe her mouth carefully, dropping her napkin as well. She placed her palms flat on the table and pushed herself up.

"Lily, what are you-"

But she was already leaving, her eyes locked on James. She felt a wild tingling seize somewhere inside of her as she approached the Cavillor table, James's eyes fastened on her.

She stopped and grimaced. "Potter! You- me- outside! Now!"

She threw a steady finger in the direction of the doors of the Great Hall, and turned away without acknowledging the several people who were staring at her. They must all be wondering what new argument had erupted, and why it required further complaint during a meal. She might have laughed at this misinterpretation, if she did not feel so hot inside.

She swept out the doors into the Entrance Hall without waiting to see if he would follow her. Less than five seconds later, she felt two hands grasping her waist and maneuvering her into a dark corner, behind a few suits of bronze armor. She did not care that an irregularly-shaped brick bit into her back as he pushed her against the wall; his mouth crashed onto hers. She bit his lip and then ran her tongue over it, her hands sliding around to rest on his back, her fingers slipping under the hem of his shirt. She was pleased to feel goosebumps erupting where she touched his skin.

Her friends had wondered what had been bothering her; well this was it. She wanted this, and she couldn't have it, and- what was he doing with his tongue? Lily thought she would erupt into flames any moment. She broke her mouth away, taking a gulp of air.

"I can't do this anymore," she whispered against his neck, pulling him closer.

She shivered when he spoke. "Can't do what?"

"I can't keep ignoring you in public, when all I want to do is-" She blushed and he leaned back to look at her.

He gave her a lop-sided grin and leaned in to catch her lips against his. His hands found her waist and pushed her sweater just over her hips. She shivered again, a hand going up to his neck. He broke the kiss lightly and bowed his head, breathing deeply.

"I'm sorry, you don't need this- I'm-"

"A Cavillor, I know," she whispered. "Not now, James. I don't want to talk now."

She pulled him back in and forgot that they were once enemies, backed up against a wall that enclosed at least a thousand people who would be enraged to see them together. She wrapped a strand of his hair around her finger. This kiss was entirely different from their first one; they both knew what they wanted, and how limited their time was here.

"Lily! Li-ly!" Selene's voice sounded somewhere in her consciousness, and footsteps passed right by them. Out of breath, Lily broke her mouth from James's. Relentless, he continued to kiss a trail down her neck as his hand traced cold circles on her back, where he had extended her fingers underneath her robes and shirt. Lily attempted to quietly take giant gulps of air.

"I guess she went upstairs. Neither of them is lying here dead." Kristen's voice was not as close as Selene's had been.

Lily bit back a moan as James began nibbling on her lower lip. She dug her nails into his back and sighed into his mouth, wishing she could stay here with him. Their tongues slid together and she placed a hand on his chest as more footsteps sounded to their left.

She pulled back, resting her head against the cold stone behind her. He moved one hand to the wall and looked at her with dark eyes.

"I should go," she said, putting a hand on her mouth and shaking slightly.

"Meet me in the Heads common room tomorrow."

She frowned, "You don't have detention again?"

He shook his head, "No, and I won't ever again, if you can meet me."

She grinned and nodded. "Yes."

Lily gave him one last slow, simple kiss and slipped through the suits of armor, feeling colder air on her face. She glanced back at James and her cheeks heated when she realized he was still staring at her.

She quickly climbed the steps and jogged down the corridor, knowing that her friends would be wondering where she had gone. She rushed through the Gryffindor common room at the expense of a few staring eyes, and entered her dorm room to find her two friends sitting on her bed.

Selene turned towards her, was silent for a moment, then smirked.

Kristen asked, "Where did you go?"

"I had to- er- return a book to the library," Lily gulped in a breath of air.

Selene was looking at her partly in amusement, and partly in suspicion. "Is returning a book code for having a go against the bookshelves?"

Lily's mouth dropped open, "Selene! I never-"

Selene laughed. "I know. I'm teasing. But why so disheveled, Lily?"

Lily blushed. "I just rushed back here, that's all."

"Mmm." Selene shrugged, still smirking.

Kristen looked between them and frowned. "Right. Well, I'm going to bed. You crazy people can do whatever you'd like."

"Oh, I'm going to bed too…" Selene grinned at Lily, patting her on the head as she walked to her own bed.

Lily allowed herself a small smile as she changed into her pajamas. After Selene had blown the lights out, Lily was shrouded in darkness. Despite the questions, and all of the problems she knew were imminent, her smile grew into a satisfied grin.

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A/N: If you signed your review, and didn't get a response, please yell at me. My computer is being screwy…

Hailee- Thanks for both of your reviews! I am glad the coincidence in posting made you happy; it made me happy too. So yes, I'm glad that you've decided to give the story another chance, and I hope you keep reading.

Michelle- I am very honored to have gotten your review. I admit to not always reviewing what I read either, so I'm very happy that you bothered to leave me a note. Your review made me terribly happy and I thank you for reading! I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Emily- Lol, yes. I think I've got what you're saying, and I appreciate it very much ) I hope you like this chapter too, even if it is a bit boring at times.

This chapter crawls a little bit and I apologize. The longer I wait to write chapters, the harder it seems to do so. I have been entirely too busy, and I just got back from scholarship interviews in Cincinnati, so I'm sorry it took longer this time to update. But anyway, I must read the first act of Waiting for Godot and also study everything there is to know about existentialism and absurdism (who knew that was a real classification?). Oh well. So, thanks for reading, and let me know your thoughts.

Emily