Chapter Fifteen - Unbeknownst Even to Friends
Normally, Charms was Lily's favorite class; in general, you would find her watching Professor Flitwick attentively, chewing on her lip as she scribbled notes onto her parchment. Not today. The past few days had been nothing short of horrible, and this day was shaping up to be even worse.
Lily did not consider herself juvenile or touchy in the least, but the relentless verbal abuse was getting under her skin and making her a little snappy. Ever since that day in the common room, when she and James had been confronted because of Malfoy's comments, this had been happening. Lily had considered the experience of the Gryffindors (both Cavillors and Auscultos) turning against them bad, but that was before the rest of the school learned of their meetings and how they wanted to unite the two groups. Saying that they were opposed was an understatement.
"Psst."
Lily's head snapped to her left, where Kristen was sitting next to her, trying to get her attention. Lily felt a piece of parchment being pressed into her hand. She smiled weakly at Kristen, who she was very grateful to have standing by her through this ordeal, and glanced down at the paper which she held over her lap.
Tell me you've noticed how weird Selene and Black are acting.
Lily smiled. Kristen still felt uncomfortable calling any of the Cavillors by their first names, except perhaps for Remus…Lily quickly scribbled a reply, glancing up briefly to make sure Flitwick was not watching her. No, he was still busy lecturing.
They've been like that for the past few days. Any idea what's up?
Lily passed the note back to Kristen and glanced over at Selene, who was seated in the desk diagonal to theirs. She was absently fiddling with her long black hair, and her cerulean eyes were unmistakably fastened on Sirius Black, sitting in the seat in front of Lily, with Remus next to him. Sirius, who had previously been glancing over at Selene, was now staring straight ahead while scratching his head. Lily almost jumped when she felt the parchment pressed into her hands once more, breaking her out of her reverie.
Call me crazy, but I'm almost ready to believe that they secretly like each other and are too thick to admit it.
You're crazy. They're probably just planning how best to hurt each other next.
Maybe, but I disagree. They haven't hexed each other since that last time they ended up in the Hospital Wing.
Sure, but they still argue constantly. Maybe they've just advanced to a slightly more civil way of hating each other.
Either way, he's staring at her again.
Lily looked up just as Flitwick dismissed the class, and found that Sirius was indeed looking in Selene's direction again, and she was gathering her things. Selene hadn't said much at all regarding Kristen's sudden change of heart, for which both Lily and Kristen were grateful. They all managed to get along in their dorm, although no amount of getting by would keep Lily from hoping that Selene would hurry up and realize that she was being silly and decide to help them.
Kristen laid a hand on Lily's arm and said, "We should probably get going, or we won't get much of a lunch."
"Oh, do I have to?" Lily muttered, not wishing to go back into the hall and encounter the thread of people waiting to send comments her way. Kristen gave her an apologetic smile; she hadn't received many insults of her own, because the fact that she too was now involved with this was not as widely known.
Heaving her bag over her shoulder, Lily took a deep breath and made for the door. Kristen followed her, casting glances around at the remaining students, who thankfully had fixed their attentions elsewhere. Nevertheless, the comments began as soon as Lily exited the room.
"Planning how to backstab us next?"
"It will never work, Ausculto. You should be bloody ashamed of yourself."
"Oh, look. It's Lily Evans, the traitor."
Lily kept her bright green eyes trained on the floor, not responding to anyone. Suddenly, from her right, another voice rang out; a cool, sneering voice that she knew well.
"Having a good time, Evans?" Malfoy smirked, obviously pleased with himself.
Lily's cheeks turned a shade of red; not from embarrassment, but from anger. Kristen tugged on Lily's arm, guiding her away from Malfoy.
"Don't pay any attention to him." Kristen muttered.
"One day I'm just going to hit him- punch him right in the face and see what he says then, the bloody bastard."
"As much as I would love to see that, don't forget that you're Head Girl."
Lily gave her a pointed look and said sarcastically, "Yeah, and look how much respect that position got me." She fingered her Head Girl badge, which was fastened tightly to her robes.
Kristen let go of Lily's arm as they approached the Great Hall. "They're just being dense, Lily. I think everyone will shape up in time, especially is you don't back down. They can't ignore reason when it's repeatedly shoved into their faces."
"I just wish I was as confident as you are," Lily mumbled, glancing quickly at the large sign that was posted at the entrance to the Great Hall.
Any student interested in assisting the Heads of Hogwarts with the convergence of the Ausculto and Cavillor groups should print their name below, or contact either Lily Evans or James Potter about the matter. No obscenities please; this parchment is charmed to hex anyone who writes anything other than their name, year, and House.
It was written in Lily's orderly scrawl, and there were two columns of lines below the statement, all devoid of names. Lily sighed; she knew that it might mean problems for whoever signed the parchment, but nobody had bothered to ask them about it privately, either. The notice had been up for almost a week now, and they had replaced it several times before James cast a spell to make sure it was securely fixed to the door, because it had been ripped down by opposing students.
Kristen noticed the downcast gleam in her friend's emerald eyes as they took their seats at the Gryffindor table, across from Selene, who focused her blue eyes on her food only. "Lily, there are a lot of students who have been keeping out of the way, you know. They don't want to say anything right now, but I'm sure there are many who agree with us. It hasn't been that long yet, someone is bound to join us soon."
"I guess." Lily rubbed at one of her eyes and piled food onto her plate. "I just wish everyone would forget about me altogether. I haven't slept well all week."
"You're not the only one." Selene muttered from in front of Lily. She made a point of not looking up at Lily and Kristen, staring instead at her food.
"What has been bothering you, Selene?" Kristen inquired cautiously, her brown eyes fixing upon her friend.
Selene glanced up, over at the Marauders, and then back down at her fork.
Kristen looked sideways at Lily, and then decided that she'd better ask the question, as she was on much better terms with Selene than Lily was. "Did Black do something?"
Selene's head popped up, black hair falling carelessly into her eyes as she blurted out, "What do you- No! This has absolutely nothing to do with Black," she finished hurriedly, her face slightly ashen.
Kristen and Lily were not convinced, but dropped the conversation because they were already on thin ice with Selene, and making it worse would help little.
Lunch carried on without any conversation between the three girls. Lily found her eyes wandering over to the Marauders as well, where James was seated across from Remus. He was running a hand through his black hair, looking exasperated and letting it fall over his fingers; Lily wasn't the only one receiving remarks from other students. Sirius, sitting next to Remus, was ignoring both of them and staring into space with unfocused hazel eyes.
As students began to finish their lunches, they filtered out of the Hall and on to their next classes. Selene glanced up as Sirius passed, and watched closely with an unreadable expression on her face while Remus handed Kristen a rolled piece of parchment and mumbled,
"I found this earlier, thought you might want a look at it." And then he was gone, with James following him. Kristen followed Remus with her eyes.
Selene made a disgusted face and rose from the table. "Well aren't you all just so cozy together," she grit her teeth and followed the Marauders out of the Great Hall.
Kristen sighed and said to Lily, "I hope she comes around soon, she's beginning to drive me a bit batty."
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The day wasn't getting any better for Lily. She went to potions in a disgruntled mood and emerged from the dungeons red-faced and angry. The Slytherins, while they did not care about the Cavillors or the Auscultos, seemed to thoroughly enjoy teasing Lily and James about the matter; Lily even more than James, because she was a muggleborn. She fumed all the way back to Gryffindor tower, while Kristen attempted to calm her down.
"Since when do you care what the Slytherins think, Lily?" Kristen inquired of her as they ascended the stairs to their dorm, books in hand.
"I don't! But they're being so damned ridiculous that I feel like hexing them all! It's driving me mad!" Lily stomped up the last few steps, only to be greeted by a sixth year Ausculto named Joan.
"Hi, Evans. Managed to become even more of a bitch today, have you?"
Lily's eyes widened slightly and she pushed past the girl, throwing open the door to the seventh year girls' dorm. "That's it!" She yelled, slamming the door once Kristen was inside.
Selene was sitting on her bed and holding a book in front of her face. Lily was in such a frantic mood that she didn't notice that Selene's book was upside down and her hands were white from gripping it so hard. Kristen noticed, however, and gave the black-haired girl a bemused look before turning her attention back to Lily, who was throwing stuff onto her bed in fury.
"Er- Lily?" Kristen was afraid to get any closer as she watched her redheaded friend lean over and pull her trunk out from under her bed.
Lily dropped it onto her bed and began randomly throwing her possessions inside. Kristen decided to try again. "Are you- going somewhere?"
Lily didn't answer at first, struggling as she was to click her trunk shut. Then she looked up at Kristen, her face bright red. "I'm going to the Heads room," she said, her voice a bit shaky, "like I suggested to James at that meeting a week ago."
"Oh." Kristen managed to say in bewilderment. She stared as Lily began to lug her trunk out the door. "Will you be coming to dinner?" She called after her.
Lily, already out the door, yelled over her shoulder, "Dunno." And then she was gone. Kristen ran a nervous hand through her blonde hair and turned back to Selene, who was still sitting on her bed, with her book now lowered into her lap.
"This whole thing is ridiculous," was all Kristen could muster to say as she, too, vacated the room, closing the door behind her.
Once Kristen was out of sight and her footsteps had faded from the hallway, Selene looked down at the floor next to her bed, where a large lump was concealed under a thick, brown blanket. "You can come out now, Black."
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Lily struggled through the common room with her heavy trunk, ignoring the questioning looks many students sent in her direction. She managed to tumble through the portrait hole, but ran into someone just outside. "Oh, sorry," she muttered, not feeling very sorry at all.
But when she looked up, she found James looking down at her with aggravated brown eyes, his expression not so very different from her own, she imagined. Her glance shifted downward and she noticed that he, too, was hefting a large trunk.
A little color came into his cheeks, and she realized that she had been staring at him. "Er-" he started, "I thought you might have been right in your suggestion that we stay in the Heads Room. All of this commotion is driving me mad."
"You're not the only one." Lily replied, leaning down to pick up her trunk. "Well, let's go, then." She set off in the direction of the Heads Room, with James close behind her.
"I don't know why everyone is being so immature about this," James said as he glanced over at her.
Lily smiled slightly and shifted her weight; the trunk was heavier than she had expected. "I was hoping that you would be able to explain that to me, since you're one of the more immature people I know."
He frowned, and then realized that she was joking. "Hey, I'll have you know that I take many things seriously, and there's nothing wrong with a little fun once in a while."
She didn't reply, because they had reached the portrait of the Three Musketeers, who were staring at the two Heads in bewilderment. "I thought you had rooms elsewhere in which to sleep," Porthos exclaimed.
"Yes, well, those arrangements aren't working at the moment," Lily murmured.
"Oh, leave it, Porthos. They clearly wish for some time alone together." Aramis stated softly, watching the two teenagers with a knowing expression.
Lily felt her face heating up and shifted on her feet. James was looking sheepish, refusing to glance in her direction on principle.
"Password?" Athos grunted, fixing them with sharp eyes. "You won't be getting in without one of those, I don't care who you are."
James quickly gave the password, and Athos bowed them into the Heads Room. The first thing Lily's eyes met with was the deep red couch that they had spent many night sitting on, discussing how best to go about uniting the groups. It was a shame that everything had been revealed before they ever reached that conclusion. Lily's eyes scanned the room, landing on the bookshelf in the corner. Well, if she was going to be here for awhile, she could at least have a look at some of those books; perhaps Dumbledore had picked something interesting.
Lily abruptly realized that she had been standing there staring about for the past minute or so, and spun around to face James, who was watching her.
"Er-" he started. As she looked at his face, taking in his disheveled hair and tired brown eyes, she realized that she had not been alone with him in quite awhile. Suddenly she felt uncomfortable, and his staring at her did not help either. She began to deduce what staying here might mean. "I guess we should take our stuff into our rooms," he said faintly.
She nodded and lifted her trunk, heading to the right. His room was to the left, and the bathroom (which they shared), was straight ahead. Lily glanced over her shoulder to see James disappear into his room and then opened the door to hers. As soon as she stepped into the room, several torches attached to the walls sprang to life and she jumped a bit, startled.
Laughing nervously at her own edginess, she sat her trunk down near the dresser, which was on the right side of the room. The bed was a double and looked very cozy, with a deep red canopy that matched the shade of the couch in the main room. She felt like burying herself under the covers, but only had a few moments to consider this thought, until a soft knock sounded on her door.
"Uh- need something James?" She asked loudly, and then added, "You can come in."
He opened the door and poked his head in. "Looks just like my room," he said, smiling slightly. "Are you going to dinner?"
Lily frowned. "I'm not really interested in another verbal battle right now. I suppose I can wait until morning to eat something."
"No need." James grinned at her.
"What?"
"I have access to the kitchens, you know. I'll grab us something." He looked particularly proud of himself in that moment.
"Well you don't have to be so cocky about it," she shook her head but gave him a smile nonetheless.
"I'll be back soon." His head disappeared from the doorway and she heard him leaving the entrance.
"Well," she muttered to herself, "I may as well take a quick bath."
Grabbing some clean night clothes (plaid pants and a t-shirt), she made her way into the bathroom. The tub was deep, but overall nothing terribly spectacular. After all, they were still allowed to use the prefects' bathroom if they wished. This bathroom was blue, with dark cerulean walls which reminded Lily of Selene's eyes, and azure furnishings. Lily smiled; it was comforting to have her own space.
Humming slightly and beginning to finally forget the events of the day, and indeed the whole week, she let the relaxing sound of the water hitting the tub fill her ears. Sighing, she eased herself over the side of the tub and into the hot water, grabbing a bottle of shampoo.
Her thoughts drifted; bathing had always helped her relax, when not many things did. She was naturally a tense person, no matter how hard she attempted not to be.
She wondered what Kristen was doing and felt slightly bad for having left in such a hurry. Lily hoped that Selene was not going to give Kristen a hard time over anything; she hadn't yet, but there was always that chance. Selene had been acting strange lately, after all, and if she did decide to say something rude to Kristen, Lily knew that Kristen would not argue back.
After she washed the shampoo out of her hair, she heard a loud noise outside the bathroom and sat up quickly, listening closely.
"Ow!"
Lily recognized James's voice and relaxed, allowing herself a small grin. At least she would have something to tease him about while they ate dinner.
"Er- Lily? I've got dinner here when you're ready."
She smiled, reaching for the towel she had laid out. "I'll be out in a minute!"
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"Alright Black, I don't know why you decided to barge into my dorm, on the Ausculto side of the tower, but get on with it and stop staring at me stupidly." Selene was still seated on her bed, her arms crossed and book discarded. Sirius, holding the brown blanket she had thrown over him when she heard her friends coming into the room, looked like he had completely forgotten what he'd come for in the first place.
"Er- we should talk," he grunted, as if he had come into her dorm against his will; some supernatural force had pushed him into the room and left without helping.
She stared at him blankly. "This better be good." Selene inwardly agreed, however; they did need to talk. They hadn't exchanged anything but insults since that therapy session.
"Everything is so bloody awkward," Sirius started in a rush, his hazel eyes staring at the foor of her bed instead of at Selene herself. "I thought maybe if I forgot who we are just for a second, and maybe- uh- apolo-"
"Apologized for what, Sirius Black? Sharing a laugh? I will not have you apologize to me, because you should know damned well that it wouldn't have happened without my consent. I would have just knocked you out otherwise."
He ran a hand over his dark hair and opened his mouth to disagree, because he felt that the conversation was too friendly and wasn't taking the turn he wanted it to, but found that he couldn't counter her statement. She could and would have knocked him out, had she wanted to. He scowled in frustration, his hazel eyes meeting her azure ones.
Breaking the silence, since staring at him was becoming awkward, Selene groaned. "Oh, why did this have to happen?" She rubbed her hand against her forehead, her expression painful.
Quietly, still watching her, Sirius asked, "What?"
She snapped her head towards him, rubbing one of her eyes. "I am…oh, I don't know. You must have sensed it, stupid though you might be. You remind me of…someone. And I- oh, I don't know what the fuck I'm trying to say." She scooted off her bed, her feet hitting the floor with a soft thump. "Don't you get it?"
He threw up his hands in exasperation. "No, I don't know what you're on about, Ausculto!"
"Fine!" She snapped. "Since you're so big-headed and want me to inflate you more by spelling it out!" Selene took a deep breath. "I think I'm attracted to you, Black." She said it all very fast, and he was staring at her blankly. "Attracted. To. You. Is that better; do you understand now?"
He gaped at her, his eyes wide and bewildered.
"I've felt something ever since that first detention," she groaned, clearly angry with herself as she tugged on a strand of her long black hair.
Sirius had no idea what to say to this. "Oh," he mumbled in a small voice. "I didn't- I mean-"
"Oh, of course." Selene was back to being mad at him, instead of only herself. She fixed him with a glare. "Just go tell everyone that even the Auscultos, or at least one of them, finds you handsome. Go humor yourself, I'm utterly ashamed as it is." She sighed softly and lowered her eyes to her lap.
After a long moment of silence, Sirius mumbled something inaudibly and took a step closer to her. As she began to ask what he was saying, he covered her mouth, their lips meeting harshly. It lasted for all of half a second, before Selene pulled back, a queer expression on her face. She glanced up at Sirius, and unable to easily read his expression, started at him.
He pursed his lips. "And?"
"It was a bit like kissing myself, actually." Selene let out the breath she had been holding.
Sirius exhaled heavily. "Yeah. Me too."
Selene let out a laugh, falling onto her bed. She continued to stare at him. "You are a lot like me, as much as I hate you, and as much as you're completely different from me."
"Huh?"
"I think you're attractive to me because you are me, in a sense."
"I have no idea what you mean."
"You wouldn't."
There was another long silence, in which Selene fiddled with her sleeve. Sirius finally sighed, shifted on his feet, and asked, "So, friends?"
Selene's forehead wrinkled and she raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
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Lily walked out of the bathroom and as her eyes met James's, she suddenly felt self-conscious in her pajamas. For some reason, pajamas made her feel too comfortable for the situation; too familiar. She somehow felt naked in front of him. He slowly smiled at her and gestured to the food, which he had laid out on the coffee table in front of the couch.
"Thanks, James," Lily said softly, seating herself on the couch. James sat beside her, shifting awkwardly.
"Well, let's eat." He grabbed his plate and began stuffing food into his mouth.
Lily watched him with a raised eyebrow. "Someone must have been hungry." James nodded, still chewing. "You didn't have to wait for me," she said.
He only shrugged. "I wanted to."
They proceeded to eat in silence, as Lily was just as hungry, although she had a more tactful way of eating than James. She kept casting glances in his direction, noticing little things like how the hair at the back of his neck curled slightly, and how the light glinted off his chocolate eyes.
Trying to focus only on her food, because she felt a blush rising in her cheeks, she looked away.
James rubbed his hands on a napkin, which she smiled to see that he had brought. Lily glanced out of the corner of her eye at him and found that his gaze was running down her body. Her neck and ears heated, and she turned to face him, giving him quite an obvious look.
He smiled at her sheepishly, his own face a little red. "Er-finished?"
She nodded and he took her plate, surprising her. "I've never had a guy clean up after me," she blurted out.
He gazed at her carefully and then grinned, "Well allow me to be your first."
She blushed, trying not to let her mind stray and cursing her imagination. She leaned back against the top of the couch, letting her eyes slip shut. "You're the only person who can relax me this much, you know." It wasn't until after she spoke that she regretted the words; it wasn't something she would normally venture to say, especially given the circumstances.
She felt a weight drop beside her and popped her eyes open. James was sitting very close to her; Lily could feel his breath on her cheek and his arm burning next to her.
"James, I-"
He didn't allow her to answer, instead covering her mouth with his while it was still slightly open. She made a small, contented noise in the back of her throat and pulled him closer. She couldn't think clearly when he did this; it brought a bunch of terribly warm emotions tumbling into the pit of her stomach. She was just beginning to shift into a more comfortable position, bringing her leg up with him lying half on top of her, when the door swung open and Lily and James sprung apart, breathing heavily with disheveled hair and crimson faces.
Kristen blinked, the door closing behind her. "Er…" She looked uncomfortable. "Oh damn- I'm-Ah- Sorry."
Lily simply shook her head, trying to regain her senses. Kristen nodded, seeming to remember why she had barged in. She was holding the parchment that had been hanging on the entrance to the Great Hall. "It's just- somebody signed the notice!"
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A/N: So, hello everyone. I hope that you're having a nice start to autumn and all that…I've been incredibly busy ever since I left home. It seems like I've been here so much longer than I have. I mean college, when I say here. The second oldest college in the US, in fact, just in case any of you care enough to do some research and figure out where I am :) Lol, so yeah…there is so much to do here. My classes are difficult, but then it's easy to procrastinate when your friends live right next to you. And it's really easy to stay up until five in the morning just talking to one of the guys from upstairs, or a girl from down the hall. It seems like I'm never at a lack for things to do. I understand the appeal of writing one-shots now more than ever, because there's no time commitment there. Nothing planned, anyway. I love writing, but it's hard to find the time to do it on a regular basis (when it's not the less interesting kind for my English seminar or something related, that is). Anyway, I didn't mean to drone on, so yeah…thanks for reading, as usual :)
Shadyday9- Lol, well you tell me, now. Kristen/Remus or Sirius/Selene?
Mila- You're right; the rest of the content of the last chapter was pretty serious business. But what would we do without Sirius and Selene? What would I do without them, I guess I mean. But I'm very glad that you picked up on how Lily and James still have serious qualms with going public, and with other related business. I tend to think people do not automatically know that they're going to fall in love with and marry someone they've only just gotten to know a few months ago…but perhaps that's just me :) Thanks again for everything!
Helen- I'm glad you found it amusing :) And I hope you haven't given up completely in the course of me not updating…hopefully you'll still enjoy Lily and James, should you choose to keep reading. Thanks either way!
-Emily