When Ezmay said that she was coming in hot, she was understating. Blood poured liberally down from her ear, soaking the neck of her shirt under the stolen EVA suit. She could feel it on her sodden shoulder and down over the muscles that laced over her shoulder blade. She had not had time to snap on the EVA gloves; they lay forlorn in her lap, threatening to jump off into the floor of the stolen shuttle. Ezmay's fingers momentarily stuck to the tempered glass of the control terminal, the blood on her fingers drying and turning tacky. When she raised them, she left fingerprints behind.
Some of it was her blood; most of it wasn't.
Her perception of sound and time was altered. It felt like hours for the Normandy to respond; it was likely seconds. Her voice, to her, came out a whisper and a squeak. The raw feeling in her throat told her she'd been screaming. Adrenaline surged through her system. It was as if she was God, and she could look at the flow and stream of time and see all eventualities. She saw the Daeva shooting down her shuttle, saw herself spaced yet again, saw the Normandy taking a fatal hit. Saw everyone she loved and cared about on that ship going the way she had two years ago. The feel of her head growing fuzzy even as the panic was taking her over. The thought sent more adrenaline…-Doc Howlett calls it epinephrine-...blasting through her body. Things were starting to blur.
Tali's voice over the comms snapped her out of her reverie. Funny how one could pilot a shuttle while the mind is wandering all over hell's half-acre.
"Commander! Shepard! We got you! We hear you!" The jubilant and desperate note in Tali's voice brought tears to Ezmay's eyes. She winced against the sting.
"Tali! Fuck me running, it is so good to hear you!"
"Same here!"
Just as Tali's voice cut off, a klaxon sounded. The shuttle rocked. Ezmay jerked her head to the right, peering around the visor of the EVA helmet. A brilliant flare on the display terminal to her side showed her a read-out of damage to the shuttle. She flicked her eyes to the ladar. Three red blips showed up behind her.
"Well, fuck." She said cheerfully.
"Shepard, you've got three bogies on your ass." Joker came over the comms.
"Get right out of town." Her hands jolted to the right, the shuttle jumping upward and just barely dodging a blast from one of the fighters behind her. Behind her, something in the passenger area of the shuttle clattered to the floor and rolled beneath a seat. Ezmay did not turn and look.
"If you can get closer to the Normandy-"
She swallowed and almost cut off Tali. If she could get closer to the Normandy, she'd bring the fighters within range of the thanix, and the rest of the ship's PDCs. But then that would put the already crippled ship at danger of more damage.
"What's the status of the Normandy's repairs?" She asked.
"We have enough hull integrity and the mass effect drive is not critical, if that's what you're asking."
"I don't want to risk bringing the ship within range of the Daeva and I don't know if these assholes are going to fire on you."
Was that her voice? Why did it have the nervous whine to it? Her rational brain sat up and took noticed, filed away the concerns. The cumulative effects of sleep deprivation, torture, and stress were starting to take their toll. It showed just as much when Tali came back over the comms a second later.
"Shepard, listen. They're almost certainly going to fire on us. We're ready to go over here. Just bring the shuttle in." Tali's tone was overly solicitous. "Just come to us and we'll take care of it."
Ezmay's vision blurred for a moment. She wasn't sure if it was sweat or tears. She swallowed hard.
"Also, I don't mean to rush you, but you need to make a decision about five minutes ago." Tali said.
Her hands moved without her conscious effort, fingertips alternately slipping then sticking on the tempered glass of the display. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind- She was starting to slip away from herself, with the emotional rage-animal part of herself sequestered and quarantined so that the war-machine would do work- she recognized that stickiness was blood. She did not wear the EVA gloves, but the black bodysuit she'd jacked was soaked. She felt the squishiness as she articulated her wrist, closed and opened her fingers. The shuttle dipped, flipping and rotating, plunging what would have objectively been "down" if she were standing on solid ground. Ezmay jammed her palm on the glass and urged the shuttle on. The hologram in front of her flickered uselessly; she had long ago had to switch from the holographic display to old-school piloting.
Ahead of her the Normandy shone like a jewel. She focused on the shuttle bay, though she knew the PDC's would kick in long before she skidded to a halt in the bay. She watched as the ship slowly began to turn, nose facing away from her and her pursuers. Yaw and roll turned the Normandy until she was like a bitch with her nipples exposed in anticipation of puppies approaching. She registered as the shuttle took another hit, the blast clipping her starboard side. The blare of warning sirens faded to a muffled whine in the background her mind. Ahead, the PDC's emerged from the Normandy, flares like glowing topaz against the sleek hull. Her breath shuddered in, then out. Over the comm, she could hear herself breathing. It didn't sound good. All she had to do was aim the shuttle at the docking bay and the Normandy herself, Grand High Pooh-Bah EDI, would catch her.
"You can do this, kiddo." Ezmay told herself. "You've handled shit a million times worse than this before. Remember that time you died?"
A voice like liquid velvet answered her back, lethargy evident.
"Yeah, remember that?"
A hysterical laugh burst out of Ezmay, spittle and breath fogging her visor. Garrus sounded groggy, not quite himself. She pushed the worry down, though, and concentrated on course corrections. More warnings blasted around her, the computer screaming angrily about the shields on the shuttle failing.
"The cast of thousands seem to think you have a plan." She could almost hear him rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "But you can't fool me. I recognize someone pulling something out of their ass when I see it."
It might not work this time. She wanted to tell him. Did he feel that thought? Even as she pondered that, she sensed, and felt the ghost of a hypodermic syringe going into the thick hide of her arm. No, not her hide. Not her plates, but his. When Garrus' voice came back over the comm, he sounded more awake, more alert.
Ezmay touched the tempered glass of the control panel, keying delicate corrections, calculating, trying to aim her shuttle at the docking bay. Tali must have relinquished control of the comms to Garrus. His smooth, steady voice guided her, giving her the small vectors and degrees she'd need to make her Hail Mary stick. The shuttle was burning around her. Her shields were long gone. Every shot her pursuers took was hitting her now, striking true, drawing blood. Heat licked around her. Underneath her hard suit, sweat mingled with blood. The kind of calm that comes only to those that tango with Death called to her. Wave after wave, calm rolled in, washing away the preceding waves until she was steady and emotionless as the serene, black waters that swallowed cave divers whole.
"EDI, let me know when I can transfer control to you." She said, voice all balls and brawn and unbridled focus.
"You are within range in t-minus 23 seconds, Commander."
23 seconds was a lifetime. Counting under her breath, with the display flashing a red timer at her, Ezmay thought back suddenly to every time she'd ever had to wait at a restaurant, every time she'd ever had to wait for someone to meet her. 23 seconds felt like a solid hour. It was no exception this time. Her higher brain, her frontal grey matter, assessed the situation over the shriek of her lizard brain screaming for survival. If she could hold out for 23 seconds, the odds were very good that EDI could work her technological sorcery, schmooze the laws of physics and bring her home.
22…..21….20...19…
She'd reached 17 when the world around her shook, when the air and the seat beneath her ass changed, when she no longer had weight. Of course, it couldn't be that easy. Of course, of course. Reflexively, she reached up, slapped the visor down on the helmet, and began to jam her fingers into the EVA gloves. More shaking, her skull banging and bouncing in the ill-fitting helmet, still cradled by layers of EZ-Foam, but still bringing stars to her vision. Yet again, she thanked Cerberus for turning her into a cyborg. Lesser skulls would have given way to a brain bleed. She may set off metallic alarms at every security checkpoint on the Citadel, but at least her grey matter was protected.
Ezmay had the sensation of her chest being compressed, the Dollar-Store brand plates of the EVA suit closing tight around her because she was thrown against the harness. Her wrists and hands bounced off of the display, the armrests, limbs flailing like the old vids of Kermit the Frog. She heard Garrus, Tali, EDI shouting at her over the comms, but there was so much commotion that they were only fuzzy white noise to her. She squeezed her eyes shut, drew in her arms and laced her fingers around the straps of the harness, index finger brushing the 'eject' button along the way.
It was a surreal splash of memory as she blasted into space. The void was around her, utter silence save for breathing and comm-screaming. She'd been here before, this was old hat. The old, familiar sense of weightlessness, and panic welled up in her. War-machine took control of her brain and she snapped her eyes open. Her inner ear told her she was spinning, and when she looked out, she was. Now she was viewing the battle like she was in a blackened theater, the movie unfolding in front of her in all it's visceral, too-real glory. The flare and fire of her exploding shuttle momentarily brilliant, then the flame collapsing on itself like a flan in a cupboard. Streaks of amber, and saffron, and gold flared out from the Normandy and rained on the shuttles of the enemy. In her frenzy, she had expected only one or two shuttles, but now out in the black, she could see that the Daeva had spit out a swarm of fighters that were now engulfed in puffs of dying flame as EDI took them out one by one. The Daeva herself loomed monstrous and menacing, seeming eternal and omnipowerful and untouchable. But the ship was a dying beast. Ezmay's sabotage to the drive core was eating an aneurysym that was going to spectacularly burst.
And she in the path of the shockwave.
"Normandy! Normandy! We've got to go!" She unbuckled the harness, released, but still spiraling away from the scene in pseudo-tandem with her seat. "The Daeva's going to pop any time now."
She floated, reflexively performing the checks she'd been drilled in. Check the oxygen gauge, check the suit, correct your trajectory if possible. She fought back vomit from vertigo and slapped at the front of the suit. Many standard EVA suits nowadays had mini-thrusters built in, and if there was a lack of propellant, as Ezmay discovered she had now, she could spend some of her precious oxygen to right herself. Her HUD politely informed her that she had sixteen minutes of air left, 0% propellant, and vital signs that were going batshit bananas.
Fuck it, she thought and keyed a button on her wrist.
The suit read her spin and obligingly blasted some of her air out through the thrusters. She slowed, stopped spinning, swallowed saliva and blinked back tears. There were truly few things she hated more than barfing in an EVA helmet. She forced her breath to slow, squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, and felt the nausea subside. Eyes open once more, she turned her attention to the HUD.
Four minutes and fifteen seconds of air.
"Fucking swell." She cursed, and then pushed her breath out. Slow, shallow breaths would maximize what she had, and then she would suffocate again. Again.
Now stabilized, she could see the Normandy turning, the PDC's and Thanix still blasting small ships and pulverizing the shields of the Daeva. From the ass end of the Normandy, a brief flash of light shone, and from it, a silver and blue shape darted forth. Ezmay squinted, couldn't make it out just yet for sure, but knew instantly that it was a shuttle.
"Don't move!" Garrus came over her helmet comm.
"I'll try not to." She promised. "I've only got about four minutes of air left. Trying not to waste it."
"You always gotta cut it close, don't you, Shep?" Jack chimed in.
Ezmay wanted to chime in and ask who had the Normandy, but then she already knew. Tali would be working in tandem with Joker and EDI to keep their boat spaceworthy, making emergency repairs, while third-in-command Miranda would be bellowing from the CIC. Instead of asking, she busied herself with watching the Normandy and the Daeva fight it out.
The Normandy pitched, rolled, her shields soaking a volley from the Daeva. A burst of flame from the Daeva's belly blossomed, faltered. Ezmay watched as the thrusters of the Normandy flared blue, the light from it making her eyes hurt even from this distance, and then the ship began to pull away. She blinked back sudden tears. Good. They were going. Miranda and Tali were doing the ruthless calculus and getting the hell out of dodge. Unconsciously, she gulped in air, then cursed herself inwardly as she watched the meter on her HUD deplete even more.
Her attention went then to the shuttle, hauling metaphorical balls towards her. She floated, arms and legs useless, nothing to do but spectate.
The shuttle began to slow as it got closer, turning to the side, and the door sliding open. Again, Ezmay sucked in a breath, pushing back a fresh sob. Her blue-suited turian, the light of her life, the devil in her bed, and the honest-to-god wind beneath her wings, stood there, a tether pooling around him in the zero-G. Her heart swelled so much that she was that ancient Grinch, overflowing and flush with goodwill. Her vision blurred as droplets formed and bounced away from her face.
"Hurry the fuck up!" She said.
"Nag, nag, nag…" He replied. Garrus stepped forward, one foot going into space, and pushed off with the other. A blast of air from behind him propelled him forward. Just like that, they were suspended there, Garrus barreling towards her, and her hanging like a forlorn rag doll. As he approached, he opened his arms. She barely had time to register that he was grasping a second carabiner, with the other end of the tether attached to him. Their hard suits joined with a bang muffled into a clack. Ezmay's teeth jarred together. Garrus's arms closed around her. She felt a touch at her waist that must have been him clipping the carabiner on.
The visor of his hard suit was, as always, opaque. She was suddenly sad that she couldn't see his face. If they were caught in the shockwave of the Daeva's explosion, she wanted to be able to see him one last time. She had to content herself with his voice.
"Hold on tight." He said, tightening his arms around her, and banging together the foreheads of their helmets. "This is going to be a wild ride."
She didn't even have time to register what he said, when they were both yanked forward. The spooling cable crushed her backwards and forced the breath out of her. With a monumental effort, she forced herself not to take another. For a brief second, she had thought that Jack would just take off and trail them behind on the tether like they were trailing behind a speedboat on a lake. But then, that probably would have torn them both in half at the waist.
"Jesus Christ…" She managed to bite out.
The tether pulled them in, reeling them at a speed that Ezmay was slowly growing more and more alarmed about. Competing with that alarm was the second explosion behind her. The only way she managed to catch it was with the flourish of light that she saw reflected in Garrus's dark visor. She almost turned her head to look, but didn't. Over the comm, she heard Garrus take in a breath.
They slammed into the cargo hold, collapsing in on one another, and the door slammed shut. The hiss of air sounded as the cargo hold began to air up.
"They're aboard." Jack said, hands flashing like lightning over the holographic display in front of her. Ezmay registered the increase in speed, just as the interior of the cargo space lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree. She felt fingers at the seals of the helmet on her neck, and then there was a great gush of air all around her. The helmet came off just in time for her to see the Daeva finish flaring. The explosion was catastrophic. As if responding to her thoughts, the shuttle began to dance. Garrus clenched her towards her body, the visor of his helmet bumping against her cheekbone.
"Hold on to your asses." Jack called back. The shockwave hit in full force, a thousand alarms going off in the cabin. The lights flickered, went out, and the shuttle went silent and powerless, sputtering to a halt and going into drift. Ezmay began to float yet again, this time Garrus went too with his limbs tangled in hers. Only the red emergency lights in the cargo space indicated that the life support was still on. His head rose, looked around. He patted her once he saw there was no hull breach, and then he popped the seals on his own helmet. In the dim red light, his eyes were a startling blue purple. In the light, they shone the brightest blue, but here, they seemed to take on a soulful look.
Ezmay took a look at his face and cried out. Her strength of will, which had kept her alive, went yelping into the darkness. War-machine crumbled and was shoved to the side as the fragile and vulnerable version of her was finally free to come out. Tears leaked out of her eyes. She buried her face in the cowl of his hard suit, then turned and pressed her nose and mouth into the side of his jaw. His hide and plates were warm. She shook as if freezing on the tundra. Garrus turned his head, pressing back, gloved hands rising upwards to tangle in her matted hair. For what seemed like forever, and not long enough, they stayed like that, simply breathing the breaths of the other.
"You stink." He whispered into her cheek.
The laughter was out of her before she knew it. Choked, gasping chuckles muffled by the warmth of his jaw and neck.
"I think…." She faltered. "I haven't had a shower since I left."
"I am so turned on right now." He said, drawing more laughter out of her.