The Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane was not a place Bryce Wayne was very fond of visiting. Every time she entered the old structure of an Asylum; her paranoia would run ramped that she might never step foot outside those gates again. Bryce didn't used to feel that way, but after her forced stay; even if it was for a short period of time, didn't help her mental state now. Nor, did the reasons for her visits becoming more frequent over the past few months. A small more vulnerable side to her begs her to never return to this home of insanity ever again, but if she followed that line of thinking then the guilt would swallow her whole. Because, she needs to be here. Bryce doesn't have a choice. Won't allow herself any other choice. Not while Jane Doe is still locked away within these walls. She already feels enough self-loathing as it was each time her visits were forced to end and while she could leave. Go back to her Manor, crawl into a nice warm bed; her only real friend left in the world could not. As long as Jane was here, then Bryce would continue to come back.
This time it wasn't exactly Bryce Wayne, billionaire, philanthropist and infamous play-girl striding into Arkham Asylum. No. This time it was her alias, the protector of Gotham City, Batwoman that was paying a visit. This, however made the situation a tad bit more complicated. For all intents and purposes she was technically a criminal. A vigilante who worked outside of the law. Notwithstanding, her partnership with Commissioner Gordon, didn't change public opinion on the matter. And, the last thing the media needed to get their hands on was knowledge of Batwoman breaking into Arkham Asylum, to visit the known criminal the Joker.
Despite, what news outlets reported on Jane's short time as well-intentioned, although misguided vigilante a few months ago as a reign of terror; Bryce didn't agree with their opinion. She knew the truth. Knew that Jane really did want to be a hero and her own mental instability had made that goal, needless to say; complicated. Personally, she couldn't blame Jane for anything that transpired. Not really. If anyone was to take the blame then Bryce would be the first to admit it was all her fault. The death of those people on the bridge, at the GCPD and those agents were on her hands even if she wasn't the one to directly kill them. Jane may have been the one to the do the deed, but Bryce was the one who pushed her to it. That was never her intention when she exploited Jane's need for a bond with her to get into the Pact. Wasn't her objective when she encouraged her friend's choice of her path with fighting crime by Batwoman's side. She honestly viewed Jane as the closest friend she ever had. Wanted to help her better herself in any way she could. At the time she thought she was doing the right thing. Nevertheless, the road to hell is paved in good intentions.
Ace Chemicals had changed everything between the two women. Caused a strain on the stitch -as Jane called it- that held their bond together. Ever since their fight in the closed down chemical plant, Bryce didn't know where they stood anymore. Some days were better than others. Where Jane would greet her with a loving smile and happy laughter. Others where they left each other's company without saying a single word at all between them. And, the worst days. The ones that haunted Bryce's nightmares. Was when she would look at Jane Doe and only see the Joker staring back at her with that crazed grin that would twist her stomach into knots. When she knew that Jane would rather carve a permanent smile in her throat than shake her hand. Those times were when Bryce would leave as quickly as she could and swear to herself that she shouldn't return. That every visit was just making Jane worse mentally. Where one wrong move would make her lose the other woman forever. Regardless, Bryce always returned. Deep down inside she knew that she couldn't abandon her one and only true remaining friend.
Bryce rarely brought up her own problems in her life with Jane during those visits. Not, that Jane wasn't observant enough to notice. Quite the contrary; actually. Where guards would see Jane as a crazed woman, which was far from the truth. Jane despite her lack of social skills was very calculated and intelligent. She had to be given she was one of the few people in Gotham City that knew of Batwoman's identity. So, when Bryce would emotionally block herself off from the other woman; Jane held no qualms about calling her out for it. Going so far as to constantly quote her psychiatrist's in Arkham; Doctor Leland's own words in an attempt to help Bryce out. As nice as it would be to just let go and speak freely to her friend, Bryce just couldn't. Wouldn't burden her with problems that seemed so insignificant than what Jane herself was going through.
Those said problems that Jane Doe's life was plagued with, was the very reason why Batwoman found herself sneaking into the Asylum, at the late hours of this very night in the first place. For she had received a suspicious phone call from Jane Doe herself. Where the only information she received was that she needed to come to Arkham Asylum as fast as possible. Not as Bryce Wayne, but as Batwoman. Alarm bells rang in her head as she didn't even hesitate to oblige her fallen friend's request. There was just too many possibilities that could have happened that would push Jane to contact her in such a frantic state. It was no secret that Arkham Asylum had a dark history; filled with corruption down to its roots. Much to her regret, Bryce's own history was a part of that same past. From all the harm that was caused by her criminal father on innocent people. So, it became a goal for her to right the wrongs her father has done with the use of Arkham Asylum at his disposal. A mission that only became more potent since Jane Doe's recent incarnation there.
Batwoman didn't know what she would expect to find when she snuck past unprofessional -oblivious- guards. Her mind racing a mile a minute with scenarios to horrific for her to bear. That if were proven accurate, then Arkham would have a justice seeking Bat infestation soon on their hands. All she could count on for her own emotional state was that Jane knew how to fight. How to defend herself and could take just as well as give back what was handed to her. When Jane snapped in Ace Chemicals and truly became her chosen namesake the Joker, the Bat would have to admit, she was damn lucky she survived their brutal encounter. No matter how many hits she gave or punishments to the other woman's body; Joker did not go down easily. All Joker did was laugh and laugh. A crazed, broken, laugh that still chilled Bryce to her bones to this very night.
As she finally made it to Jane's cell -0801- nothing quenched the tightness of dread in her chest. Didn't stop her hesitation from unlocking the door and entering. Bryce didn't know what she would find on the other side of that door. If it would be Jane Doe or the Joker that would great her. Couldn't shake the feeling that her friend seeing her dressed as Batwoman again would affect her badly. How, maybe, this encounter might just cut the small stitch holding them together with a flick of a knife. Blue eyes closed behind the white visors of her cowl. In and out, she breathed to keep the anxiety from suffocating her. She felt like she was drowning in uncertainty. In fear of what could transpire between them. Not wasting a second longer. Knowing full-well if she did then she wouldn't go through with this or return. Bryce unlocked the door with the stolen key she took off from one of the guards. The sound of the heavy door opening was deafening, however it also grounded her into reality. Brought back a semblance of self-control that was on the edge of cracking. Without a word she slipped into the room and let the door close behind her. Trapping her with the only person who understood her more than anyone, but could also hurt her in ways she'd never want to admit.
The very first thing that Bryce notices is Jane sitting cross legged on the bed. Her green pixie cut hair was messy instead of the immaculate way it normally was kept. A part of her wants to claim that it's Jane being in Arkham as the cause for the upheaval appearance. Regardless, she knows better than to delude herself to that poor excuse. Even the very first time Bryce met Jane Doe in Arkham after being saved by the other woman, she's never once seen Jane not show much care for her appearance. She wouldn't claim that it was done out of vanity, as she knew Jane was self-conscious of her looks, but more out of a need of some semblance of control in her world of chaos and disarray. This shouldn't be the first thing she noticed. In retrospect, it's probably a pointless observation to make at the moment. Although, it's all she can really focus on as the silence stretches on for close to a minute between them.
Acidic green eyes look up at her and where Bryce expects to see a smile form at her arrival; she is only left with a lack of expression instead. In that moment she feels like a hand has clasped around her heart, threatening to squeeze until it breaks. She desperately wishes that she could know what Jane is thinking. Wants to ask her, but can't. Because, she has no right to ask those type of questions. Not after everything. No amount of visits she makes could really repair the damage that was caused during their fight. Apologizes want to flow freely from her lips, but the lump in her throat keeps them trapped. Alfred's cold accusations come back to her mind as all she could do was stand there and wait for Jane to address her. How every problem the other woman was having, who Bryce claimed was her friend, had been because of her actions. Even Jane's acknowledgement of how she used her; she couldn't retort.
A sudden need to flee almost overcomes her. How being here must be a mistake. That she shouldn't have shown up in the first place. How having Jane seeing her as Batwoman again was causing more harm than good. She should leave. Needs to leave right now. But, can she honestly abandon her? She said she wouldn't and she meant it. Even now. Still, it might be too soon for any of this. Much too soon for this particular encounter. They're not ready. It was naive to think for a second that they could be. And, perhaps, her friend notices it. Maybe, that's the only reason why Jane gives her a soft smile.
"Bats, it's very nice to see you," Jane's tone has a tinge of uncertainty in it herself, "Thank you for following through with my request and stopping by," a small awkward giggle escapes the lithe body. "I hope, I didn't interrupt your nightly activities for Justice and Gotham's betterment." There it was. The slight bitter edge that Bryce was becoming way to familiar with over these last few months.
Bryce isn't foolish enough to think that Jane doesn't resent her to some degree. How Batwoman is able to be free to run from rooftop to rooftop, while Jane rots away in a cell in an insane Asylum. How her no killing code was the force that put them against each other in the first place. Joker did think she was doing the right thing as a hero by wanting to kill Waller, however, Batwoman couldn't let her go through with it. Then there was the bitterness that Tiffany Fox was now Batwoman's partner, a murderer as well, when Jane couldn't be by her side. When Jane had first found out, that was one of the worst days of Bryce's life. Both women had been seemingly having a pleasant conversation until like dynamite Jane went ballistic. All Bryce could do at the time was watch as her friend was pulled away kicking and screaming while she was carted off to solitary confinement. The topic wasn't brought up since, but that would never stop the guilt she felt from resurfacing.
"Your my friend, Jane. You know if you need me then I'll always come to help in any way I can." Bryce says; delicately. Jane doesn't believe her by the clear disbelief sparking in her emerald eyes. The part that hurts the most is Bryce can't blame her, despite the fact she truly meant what she had said. When Jane is silent for close to a minute, Bryce can barely hold back the emotions that wanted to rip out of her.
She wants to tell Jane that despite everything, she can't stop caring for her.
Tell her how she wants to fix everything that went wrong.
Offer to take her out of here; knowing that would be not the best course of action to take.
Knowing that there really isn't anything she can say right now to make Jane believe her sentiments of friendship.
Not after Ace Chemicals.
Not after everything they've been through together.
"I wanted to help you too, you know?" Jane responds so softly, -gently- that Bryce has to strain herself to hear her. Her former cold expression shifting to her obvious feelings of solemn and regret. "Wanted to fight by your side until the end of time," a humorless laugh follows. "It would have been so much fun, heh," Jane turns her head downward. Messy green bangs casting a shadow over her eyes. "But, that didn't happen, because the world doesn't make any sense." She finishes and the words causes Bryce's heart to feel like it fell into her stomach.
Batwoman doesn't think as she takes a step forward. She doesn't need to. Thinking would only hinder her from doing what she needs to do. How all she wants to do is embrace the other woman in her arms. But, when Jane's head snaps up so fast and her gaze falls upon her, the Bat stops in her tracks. Like a deer caught in the headlights. Trapped on the spot as green orbs pin her to the floor. She can barely breathe. Not even respond and that fact doesn't get past the sharp observational skills of her fallen friend.
"How's the kid working out for you?" Jane suddenly says. Most likely for a change of conversation. However, it was a dangerous topic for the two of them to ever have. "Is she living up to her blown up father's previous standards when it comes to helping you?" Although, the comment was callous in nature, Bryce knew she didn't mean it to be malicious. Jane always did have difficulty when it came to appropriate social interaction. A trait that Bryce had honestly become quite fond of with the other woman. Though, it was never stated out loud. Jane was in Arkham to get better and Bryce wouldn't hinder that progress if she could prevent it.
"Do you really want to know?" Bryce asks, carefully. Not ready to give an answer that might set Jane off and push her more towards the darkness that was always within her. It seems to be the right call as Jane looks uncertain now. As if she just realized what she was even saying to begin with.
"Honestly, no. I don't," Jane states after a moment. Giving a small shrug that was meant to come off as indifferent, though the real meaning was from that. "Just trying to make conversation, I guess."
Bryce gives a simple nod at that. Because, she can't really think on what to say. At least until a more important topic of conversation hits her hard. Jane had been so frantic to have her here and Bryce needs to know why. Is concerned that so much is going on that she doesn't know about. If Jane is being hurt. If Bryce needs to rescue her from this place filled to the brink with insanity. Whatever it is. She needs to know. It's the most important question she can ask right now.
"Jane," her voices catches the other woman's full attention. "Is everything alright?" Jane narrows her eyes at her and Bryce could slap herself for her poor choice of words. No, nothing was alright. Nothing, would ever be alright again. Before she can continue speaking; Jane shoots up so fast to stand and starts pacing the small quarters of the cell. Catching Bryce completely off guard in the process.
"Is everything alright? The pretty Bat asks the lonely Clown," Jane mumbles to herself as her hands grip her short green hair. Yanking hard and all Bryce can do is stand there in shock of the quick change in behavior. The pure hostility radiating off of her friend in spades. "I'm peachy, just fine and dandy," She states; sarcastically and filed with venom. Her paces quicken in speed as she goes from one wall to the other. Back again. Continuing to pull at her hair as she mumbles to herself. Some words being incoherent to make out while others not so much. "Not like I'm going insane here. Ha! Heh! Ha!" A quick glance is shot in the Bat's direction. "This is only the mad house after all," Jane stops in her tracks so suddenly it makes Bryce tense. "Heh! Get it! Not going insane in a madhouse?! Who does that?!" She clutches her sides and leans forward as bursts of insane laughter overcomes her. "Not me," she says through short breaths of giggles, "No. No. Nope. Not me. Hehehe! Now that's funny!"
Nothing stops Bryce this time from moving forward when she can no longer bear to see her friend like this. Doesn't stop from wrapping her arms around the laughing woman and holding her close to her chest. Even when she hears the almost silent protests, all she does is hold her tighter. Wanting to chase away all of Jane's darkening thoughts back to where they came. Needing to help her get through this. Jane's body is stiff except from the bursts of chuckles that sound more like sobs encompassing her from time to time. Each one makes Bryce more convinced that she's doing the right thing by holding her friend.
"Breathe," she orders; softly. Trying to ground the other's woman's remaining sanity with her close presence. "Stay with me, Jane," she whispers in her ear. Holding her tight. Wishing she could find all the right words to help her. "I'm right here." Jane leans her forehead on the Bats shoulder; trying to calm down. Her breathe coming out ragged as the chuckles slowly start to cease. "You called and I'm here now," Bryce assures her. Needs her to hear what she is saying. "It's okay. Everything will be alright." Her tone is desperate, because she needs that to be true for herself as well. When nothing in the world feels like it will ever be alright again. When she can see how broken the both of them truly are without each other. How much they need each other and now even as she holds her, they feel miles apart. Bryce can't believe her own words right now. But, she wants -needs- to believe it. No, everything is not all right. Nothing, except when it becomes everything that's good in the world as Jane wraps her arms around her as well.
As minutes tick by around them all either women does is hold each other close. Ignoring the insanity that filled the outside of this cell. Allowing them to only focus on each other. Perhaps, diving head first into their mural insanity as well. Insanity that had taken shape into a codependency that could never break the stitch between them. At Ace Chemicals when they both laid there broken and injured, Jane had claimed that Bryce was just as messed up as she was. This might have been proven true. But, when they embraced each other right now; Bryce couldn't find it in her enough to care. Black gloved hands stroked Jane's back softly. She could smell the cheap laundry detergent on the Arkham uniform as well as the scent of lavender fragrance body soap that stuck to Jane's lithe form. Bryce clung to the scent as a way to ground herself. To stop her own break down from coming to the surface. She needed to be strong for Jane. Even if in that moment she felt more like the little eight year old girl who watched her parents gunned down in an filthy alleyway. As she also felt like she was back on the rafters of the chemical plant, watching Jane murder three people and break down in front of her eyes. Needed to remind herself that she wasn't there. She was with Jane in Arkham. That they were holding onto each other as a life line. It's all she needed or wanted to know.
An unknown amount of time passes, before Jane starts to pull away from the Bat. Bryce doesn't want to let her go. Wants to continue holding her. But, knows deep down she can't force it. No one could force Jane to do anything she truly doesn't want to do. And, Bryce respects that about her. Admired -loved- that quality of hers, because she knows that everything Jane has ever helped her with, is because she cared for her. How much Jane truly did love her even if she has never uttered the words. When Jane pulls away enough and Bryce reluctantly lets go of her, she receives a loving smile that makes her heart melt. She gets her wish when Jane intertwines their fingers together and they move to sit on the bed. Neither breaking the silence just yet, as Jane leans her head on the armored shoulder of her Bat. Both were content as long as they were near each other.
It's a silly thought at first for Bryce to notice that the bed is uncomfortable to sit on, but that simple observation, quickly, turns into self-loathing. For she knows it's her fault that Jane has to sleep on it, because of her in the first place. She thinks it might be a good idea to invest even more money into the Asylum just for nicer beds alone. Perhaps, that might make things easier for her friend? It's naive to think so, but doing nothing was never in Bryce's nature. Her thoughts continue down that darkening road of how she can't really do much to help her friends circumstances. A distraction is needed and Bryce says the first thing that comes to mind. Risking the entire semblance of peace that they were currently in.
"Why did you want me to come here?" She asks. When Jane gives her a simple hum of confusion; she elaborates. "When you called earlier. It sounded like an emergency."
A few beats past between them and right when Bryce thinks Jane will ignore her question all together, Jane sits up fast. Her mouth agape as realization dawns of her of why she asked Batwoman here in the first place. A wide grin replaces the solemn frown earlier and for the first time that night, Bryce thinks that Jane is truly happy.
"Fiddlesticks, I almost forgot! I wanted to show you something very special to me! You're going to love this!" Jane hesitated for a second before letting go of Bryce's hand. Reaching for the nightstand drawer, only stopping for a moment when green eyes glance at the picture of the two of them together displayed for anyone to see. If Jane got any visitors besides Bryce to even gaze upon it. The pause doesn't last long. "Close your eyes, Bat-Gal," She giggles and Bryce obliged her request. Bryce hears the drawer open and close, Jane's shifting on the bed. Her curiosity starting to peak as Jane waits with the reveal to build up suspense. "Ok. Ya can open them now!" Her excitement was palpable.
When Bryce does open her eyes and gazes upon what Jane is holding close to her chest, she can't stop the warm smile that graces her lips. A stuffed brown teddy bear is what Jane shows her. It seemed so innocent. So, purely what Jane would get over excited about that she feels butterflies in her stomach just looking at her. How bright and full of happiness those green orbs had become in that moment. She hasn't seen Jane look like that since she taught her how to throw a batarang. Most people would find it childish to seem so thrilled over a stuffed animal, but Bryce is just glad that it brings her friend a shred of joy. She can't even find it in herself to be mad that this was the reason why was asked to come here in the first place. Not when, Jane looked so expectant of a positive response. Doesn't even bother also asking why Jane wanted to see her as Batwoman instead. That can all wait for another time. Bryce would not ruin this moment for her friend to sate her own curiosity.
"It's cute," She says simply. A pause, then adds, "Where'd you get it?"
Her friend grins wider, seemingly happy that she wasn't being teased over the small brown bear. Not that, Bryce would ever do that. But, she also knows how much the other woman still looks up to her for approval. Of, how much something's haven't changed between them. It's a bittersweet feeling, that Bryce needs to ignore. Not dwell on their complicated past and just focus on the here and now.
Jane flutters her eyelashes at Bryce. A teasing smile on her lips. "Aren't you the detective here, Bats? Go on. I'm sure you can take a guess." Her tone playful and Bryce rises to the bait.
"If I have to take a guess then I bet my entire fortune on Dr. Leland," Bryce is a bit smug with her reply. Knowing how close the relationship was that Leland and Jane shared. If anyone in this corrupt facility cares about Jane's well-being it was her.
"Bingo!" Jane responds with a giggle. "Dr. Leland gave her to me a few days after I came back here," a slight pause of hesitation comes forth that causes Bryce to hold her breath. Worried that the topic might result in another break down. When it doesn't come and Jane continues talking, she can't help feeling relieved. "Leland says, it would be better for me to have something to talk to when I'm not ready to open up in my therapy sessions," Jane gives a sincere smile now, her previous self-doubt slipping away to the wayside. "It's been helping," she admits and then confides, "I now can't sleep without her by my side. She helps when the loneliness starts to get to hard for me at night."
That confession breaks Bryce's heart and she wants to embrace her all over again. Tell her friend that she'll never be alone as long as she is alive. Instead, all she gives is a gentle rub on Jane's leg; showing her support when words would fail her. And, her friend does what Bryce has so much difficulty doing herself. Taking the lead in finding much needed comfort and closeness that Bryce herself struggles with instigating. Jane lays down on the bed. Resting her head on the Bats leg and clutching the stuffed bear to her chest. Bryce doubts that the position is that comfortable, but Jane seems content to lay there, so she doesn't stop her. When the chill of the cell makes her aware that they are on-top of the bed sheets and unwilling to move from their position. Bryce does the first thing that pops into her mind. She unclips her cape and drapes it over Jane's lithe form. A small hum approval is heard from the body laying against her and Bryce's heart skips a beat. Knowing she didn't cross a line with that action as Jane pulls the cape closer to her body. Snuggling even more closely with the bat.
"What did you name her?" Bryce asks after a few moments of silence. Because of course Jane would have named the stuffed bear. That's just something Jane would do.
Jane instantly becomes shy with the question. Her body starting to fidget as she lays there. A light blush shows even more prominent on chalk white skin. Bryce reacts to the shift in demeanor by stroking soft green hair. Trying to reassure her that whatever the answer was, she wouldn't judge the other woman for it. It seems to work when Jane lets out a small sigh. Acidic green eyes closing tiredly as she enjoys the sensations and closeness of her Bat.
"Bryce, her name is Bryce," when the Bat doesn't respond, she adds nervously, "She reminded me of you."
If it was months back before the reconnection after Arkham, Bryce would have felt creeped out by that particular name choice. Now, though, it touched her heart. Made her smile and feel a happy elevation come over her. As her gloved fingers continue to run through Jane's short hair, her response is simple. But, she knows Jane would hear all that she couldn't say. That she wasn't ready to state -admit- out loud. Was terrified of being rejected for how she felt given all that they have been through together. Their friendship, partnership as vigilantes of Gotham City, their final confrontation to visits made in an Insane Asylum. There was so much complicated history between them. So, much uncertainty about their future. The stitch between them wasn't broken, but Bryce did not want to risk that ever happening.
"I love it." And, that is all she will ever need to say; at least for right now. Because, one day, she'll be brave enough to tell Jane what she feels deep down. What they both know already is the truth. The response that she should have said during their fight in Ace Chemicals.
Be loved by you.
I already love you, Jane.