King: Hey. Hey... GUESS WHO'S BACK BABY~! Did you miss me~? I'd say I missed you, but I've been writing. Just nothing RWBY related. Tale of the Teachers was always my favorite fic because of the freedom I had to work with in it. No larger story, just a bunch of little, fun stories to write when I have an idea. Then Volume 3 ended. I haven't been back since. I just thought, 'what can I do with this now?' So, starting now, things change. Deviations are now in effect. Tale of the Teachers is no longer canonically dubious, but a full AU. And I intend to have all the fun I can with it~ Hope you enjoy as usual. Have fun~!

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Roman Torchwick, master criminal, stuck in a hole in the ground. He was getting impatient, unable to really do anything while the White Fang grunts worked by loading the mechs and dust into the train. Neo was off somewhere, probably getting ice cream again… This left him to his thoughts for a long time. He started to wonder why he was bothering to help this crazy plan at all. He hated the idea of working with psychotic terrorists for a goal of which he would not be made aware. That chick, Cinder, was getting on his nerves to no end. Not to mention those two brats she has at her beck and call… So why stick around and take it?

The easiest answer was that Cinder would kill him otherwise. That said, he could see that this was seriously messed up. Ram a train into the sealed tunnels under Vale and unleash a hoard of Grimm on the populous? Is this really the hill I want to die defending? It was clear this would end with him getting eaten by Grimm. But what choice did he really have?

He pulled out his scroll and started to look over the manifests for the train. This was nothing new to the White Fang around him, he was notorious for meticulousness when it came to a profit. What they didn't know was that he valued his survival. After his parents passed, he and Constantine had to do what they could to survive the streets. Roman just took that to heart differently than his little brother had. Roman froze for a moment. Maybe…

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Justinian opened the doors to Ozpin's office with a grim determination, "Boss! I need to talk to you!"

Ozpin just raised an eyebrow.

Glynda, however, was furious. "Justinian! You have…"

"…'to remain professional,' I know! But this is too important for that!"

Ozpin sighed and took a sip of his coffee, "Go on."

Justinian walked up and placed hi scroll on the table, "I have it on good authority that the White Fang are amassing explosives and mechs in the tunnels under Mountain Glenn, intent on invading Vale through the tunnel system."

"What?!" Glynda looked down to the scroll, which read exactly as reported. "How did you…?"

"Sir, permission to investigate and capture?"

Ozpin looked up to the youngest professor with a grim look, "Permission granted."

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As Neo walked back into the tunnel, Roman waved her down, "About time you got back."

Neo just shrugged. She tapped her wrist to ask if they were on time.

"So far." Roman took a deep breath and looked around. After a moment, he placed a hand on Neo's shoulder and spoke quietly, "Neo, I need to ask you something."

Neo raised an eyebrow but didn't move to avoid him.

"Is all of this…" he gestured around them while not making a display, "… really worth it right now?"

Neo looked surprised hearing that. What?

"Listen, is this the hill we really want to die on? To let the creatures of Grimm into a city?"

Neo held up her scroll, [Are you going soft?]

"No, I just don't want to die and a creature ridden city increases that chance."

Neo thought about it for a moment and couldn't fault his logic. She took a deep breath and shook her head. She didn't plan to die any time soon either.

Roman nodded, "Okay…" He stood back up and pulled out his scroll. After a moment, he leaned against the wall, "Now we wait."

Neo tilted her head as a way to question him.

"Steps are in place. Our ticket out will be here soon enough."

An explosion shook the cave as he spoke.

"Sooner than I expected."

The White Fang started to rush to the train and prepared to leave ahead of schedule. Roman thought it over a moment before smirking, "Let's hedge our bets, shall we?" He pointed his cane toward the train and fired a flare into the lead wheels. The mechanism allowing the train to move was broken. The White Fang turned on Roman who just smirked alongside Neo. Roman they hated. Neo they feared. The on-site lieutenant charged Roman with his chain-sword, shouting about how he betrayed them. Neo kicked the man's legs out from under him and Roman used his cane like a golf club to knock the officer out on the ground.

The rest of the White Fang were about to charge before one of the cave's stalagmites flew toward them and knocked them all down. Neo and Roman turned to see a well-dressed young man with bright blue hair, his vest half orange and half black, and a pair of mirrored glasses. He had a two-handed sword in one hand and dragged an unconscious White Fang member in the other. He tossed the unconscious faunas into his companions.

Roman smiled seeing the display, "That's quite the entrance. Constantine no doubt vouched for me in this moment."

The young man sighed and shook his head, "Roman… It's me!"

"Constantine?"

"No. I'm another guy. Name's Shit-Sherlock, first name No."

"Smart ass."

"Learned from the best."

The White Fang started to regroup and get back up off the ground.

"Reunion later, fight now."

The White Fang tried to fight the trio, but this proved difficult. Roman was well versed in street fighting, which most of the members used due to lack of actual training. Neo was small, nimble terror and easily weaved through attacks to knock some of her attackers out. And the third guy was a damned wall! Every hit just bounced off and he would punch them square in the nose while they couldn't do anything. After a few minutes of fighting, the White Fang were either flat on their back or running away. Once everything started to calm back down, Justinian started to use those plastic ties to effectively cuff the unconscious White Fang.

After a while, Justinian turned to his brother, "So, what now?"

Roman raised an eyebrow, "Why are you asking me?"

"Because I want to know what you'll plan from here. This," He gestured to the train and the White Fang, "proves you're in deep at this point. Some of them even got away. You're not going to be able to go back to things as they were."

Roman was about to say something but sighed, "Guess I'll just go off to another kingdom. Start over from the bottom again."

Neo nodded somberly. She wouldn't admit it, but she liked Vale. It was her home. Sure, she was technically born outside the kingdoms, but Vale was the first place she belonged. Granted, it was in the employ of a self-identified 'master criminal,' but it was what she had.

Justinian looked between the two a moment, "What if you had another option?"

"Constantine… I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't want to live in a bunker somewhere."

Justinian smirked, "So this isn't about just surviving?"

Roman stopped a moment, "What?"

"If all of this," this time he gestured to Roman, "was just to survive, you'd take the bunker deal without hesitation. They wouldn't be able to track you down later. This is clearly just the life you're stuck in, but you're not trying to just survive. You want to really live. Am I wrong?"

Roman thought this over for a while and turned to Neo. Her look showed that she agreed. Roman nodded to her and turned back to his brother, "What's your idea?"

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"You realize how dumb this is, right?"

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose at her team's antics. They walked through the halls, planning their weekend trip to Vale for the week.

Ruby smiled, "Oh come on Weiss, it's not that bad."

"You're basically giving Yang the power to decide what we do for the weekend!"

"Aw… What's wrong Weiss Queen?" Yang grinned, "Afraid of having fun?"

"What concerns me is that you'll either have us go to a night club or subject us to constant, stupid puns."

"You picked last week Weiss. It's my turn~ And my puns aren't that bad."

"By that logic, it should be Blake's turn. And yes, they really are that dumb."

Blake looked up from her book, "I didn't want to."

Weiss sighed in exasperation, "Fine. Then it is Yang's turn, but!" She pointed a finger toward Yang, "I want you to consider the rest of us like Ruby and I had!"

Yang chuckled and placed an arm over Weiss's shoulders, "Calm down, Weiss. I'll make sure we all have fun this weekend."

As they approached the main door to the courtyard, Ruby moved forward of the group to open the door, "See Weiss? Nothing to worry about!" This was the moment she smacked someone on the other side with said door. Ruby jumped a bit at the sound of the impact and rushed around the door, "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to… to…" Ruby froze, confusing her team, until they saw who was on the other side.

They found Roman Torchwick, himself, rubbing his forehead, the likely point of impact. Behind him was his partner Neo, on the ground clutching her stomach in silent laughter. Roman recomposed himself and saw Ruby. "You know what, I'm not even surprised Red…"

"TORCHWICK!" Team RWBY charged outward to face Torchwick and his partner. To be fair, the only one of them that was any good at hand to hand combat was Yang. But they weren't helpless either. They just needed to wait for their weapons to…

"Woah! Woah! Put the fists down." Roman acted like he was trying to diffuse the situation. "No need to get violent."

"I'd say there's plenty of reason to be violent!" Blake shouted out.

Justinian placed a hand between the students and the crime lord, "Okay, none of that. Roman, you promised to be on your best behavior."

"They're the ones that his me with a door!"

"Yes, and Ms. Rose apologized." Justinian chuckled. "Right, but seriously students, no fighting the prospect."

This made them all pause for a good second or two. "What?"

Roman smirked, "That's right! You get to call me Mr. Torchwick from now on~!"

Another long pause before, "WHAT?!"

Roman turned to Justinian, "Are they always like this?"

Justinian chuckled, "More or less."

"Professor!" Weiss turned to Justinian, "How are you so calm about this?! That's Roman Torchwick! The notorious criminal that's nothing but trouble!"

Justinian sighed, "I'm aware of my brother's life choices…"

"BROTHER?!" They all shouted again.

Justinian and Roman recoiled for a moment at that. Justinian removed his glasses to show his green eyes. A cursory glance showed their similar appearances. The family resemblance was truly uncanny. Justinian returned his glasses and placed his hand on Roman's shoulder, "As for you, Mr. Torchwick, it's a long way off, Roman. Right now, we need to get you squared away after your confession and deal with Ozpin." Justinian walked over and leaned over the still chuckling Neo, "You too, Strawberry Psychopath."

Neo started to come down from her laughing high and stood up to join the group.

Justinian led the two inside, "Until next time, girls."

After their teacher left with the pair of wanted criminals, one of which turned out to be his brother, team RWBY was just left in shock and silence. Weiss finally spoke up after a while, "Okay Yang… Do whatever for the weekend. I give up."