Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or it's characters.

Chapter 3, Transmissions (season 2)

Hey, everybody. Today is October 31, and just so you know, Halloween is my favorite time of year. And I hope that it is a day good for many readers, and that you all have fun on this holiday. But that really isn't what this chapter is about. It's about Zim and his Tallest.

1. [Battle of the Planets]

-1-"But first we'd like to acknowledge the contribution of one very special soldier. Without whom, this victory and those surely to come, wouldn't be possible."

"Invader Zim."

(Cheering and laughing)

"You see, if Zim hadn't been exiled to the far reaches of the galaxy, he would be here with us ruining everything."

"And we all remember how he messed up operation: impending doom 1. Am I right?"

"I don't."

"Seize that guy! And, uh, throw him out the airlock."

"Aaahhhh!"

"That was the wrong guy, but it's ok. I think everyone gets the point."

"So let's give a big cheer for Invader Zim for being so far away."

(Cheering)

"Invader Zim rocks!"

(Incoming call)

"Quiet everybody, quiet. Hehehe, we have a little surprise for you. It looks like we're getting a report from Zim right now. Transfer to the main view screen."

(Zim appears on screen, wearing some bear costume. He hears the cheers and he smiles)

"Well, thank you. How very well, deserve-ed of me. Invader Zim reporting in, sirs."

"Yes, greetings Zim. Keeping busy looks like. Doing us proud."

"Thank you, thank you. Yes. Yes, I am. I'm in a bear suit."

(Cheering)

"Please, enough. Following Invader protocol I've sent probes out to the surrounding planets to check them for potential use."

"Uh-huh."

"Scans from a planet called Mars are intriguing. You can expect a full report when I have more information.

"[trying not to laugh] Thank you Invader Zim. Without your efforts out there, the entire operation would surely crumble."

"Yes, yes it would."

"Let's here it for Invader Zim."

(Cheering, and calls end)

"Idiot."

-2- "Remember... Remember the time Zim called us, and he was... he was covered from head-to-foot in meat?"

"Yeah. The meat ended up fusing to his flesh, and he almost went blind when it invaded his eye sockets. Hahaha, meat."

"Hahaha, meat."

(Incoming call)

"Oh, it's, it's him. Hold on, hold on. Shhh."

"Greetings Tallest. I bring more evidence of my unbelievable skills."

"(Snickers) More evidence?"

"Yes, I've made an exciting discovery. The planet called Mars is actually a giant spaceship filled by floating heads. I'm going to fly it to earth, where I will roll it around on the surface. Squishing all the earth life and leaving it free for us to conquer without resistance. Prepare the fleets, for I will be firing the first volley, tomorrow. Invader Zim, signing off."

(The two Tallest look at each other and burst out laughing)

-3- "It's Zim. Are you ready for this?"

"I-I just started breathing again from the last one."

"Mission accomplished, my Tallest. I have rid this solar system of planet Mars."

"I thought you were trying to destroy the earth."

"Oh, yes, that... you heard wrong. This time I was trying to get rid of Mars. You know, just a little warm up before I destroy the humans. Yeah see, I'll do earth next. I'm an unstoppable death machine, you know. Well Invader Zim, signing off."

(Everyone laughs at him)

2. [Hobo 13]

"Plasma-Armed battle tanks, Maim-bots, Death wave cannons, a sack of taquitos?"

"Just a few supplies I need to complete my mission."

"You got my taquitos yet?"

"Your exile- eh, Mission. Is to observe the planet, Zim. Not annihilate it."

"Yes, but I'm quite good at annihilating."

"Taquitos! And a clown with no head."

"Look, we'd love to grant your request, but, uh, we think you're insane- Untrained."

"Untrained?!? Invader Zim?"

"You're trained as an Invader Zim. Battle Tanks are for harden soldiers."

"Hrmmmm."

"Hey! How 'bout we send Zim to Hobo 13. It's the, um, finest military training planet ever. Zim, on Hobo 13, you'll be torn limb-by-limb."

"Evaluated! Evaluated as a soldier. If you pass, we'll send you a big bag of battle tanks."

"But not that clown thing."

"HEADLESS CLOWN!!! HEADLESS CLOWN!!!"

"Very well, my Tallest. To obtain my tanks I will allow the evaluation of my incredible brain-meats. Zim, out."

"How about clown taquitos?"

(The Tallest smile at each other)

3. [Walk for Your Lives]

-1- "Hey, Invader Slacks. It's Probing Day. What do you think of that, huh, huh?"

"You have blended in well with the Larg Nostril People of Boodie Nen. Bleh, bleh, bleh."

"Now if you'll just show us a little puppet show depicting on how you plan to destroy the planet."

"Puppet show?"

"Everyone loves puppets. Except you, it seems. You fail inspection."

"You get a pummeling. Hmhm."

(Invader Slacks gets pummeled)

"Happy Probing Day, Invader Slacks."

"I shall- Urg! Try harder sirs- Oh! Ah!"

"You know, ever since we became the Tallest, I... I don't know, it's, it's neat. And Probing Day just makes it even better."

"Hey, Zim's next on the list, should we even inspect him, I mean he's not really an Invader, and... we hate him."

"Greetings my Tallest."

"Ahh! Zim! We didn't call for you. You know you're interrupting a very important-"

"Today's Probing Day, yes? Well, I'm ready for my inspection. And I think you'll find that I am prepared."

"How about we just pummel and call it done?"

"But you must see this. I have prepared a human experiment."

"Look Zim, we have some pummeling to do, and a, oh, hurry up, alright."

"This bothersome dirt child was captured trying to infiltrate my base. I've suspended him in a variable time-stasis field. I made it myself. Does it not amaze you?"

"You'll never get away with this Zim. I'm going to expose you for the horrible alien menace that you are, and scoop your insides out."

(Zim laughs, but then device explodes)

"Well you look real busy exploding, Zim."

"What a shame, moving on now."

(Screen changes to Irken with a puppet show)

"Yeah! Yeah! Two words, more puppets. Yeah!"

-2-

"Thank you, Invader Larb. Happy Probing Day."

"Well was that everyone? I hope that was everyone, let's go, I'm hungry."

"Well, there is Zim. But I think he stopped being alive. Oh well, let's see."

(Zim screaming in the middle of the second explosion)

"Hmmm, ok. Wow."

4. [Megadoomer]

-1- "Oh Thank You You've Done The Right Thing My Tallest And You Won't Forgotten When I Rule The Universe Thanks To This Amazing Battle Mech, Bye!"

(Zim hangs up, and they get another call)

"Incoming Transmission, from Planet Meekrob."

(Invader Tenn) "It's horrible! They're everywhere! Ahhh!"

(Scenes of malfunctioning S.I.R. Units destroying everything.)

-2- "Automated Signal. From the Megadoomer, sir. It self-destructed."

"With Zim in it?"

"Probably not. Probably not."

(Call from Invader Tenn)

"Baahhhh! They've eaten everything! We're all doomed! Doomed!"

5. [Abducted]

-1- "So, you're saying the humans are dumb, yet tall. How is that even possible? I mean, how could anything tall be dumb."

"(Talking and eating) Yeah? Huh, huh? Heh, can you imagine? Huh? Huh, huh?"

"I assure you, it's really quiet-"

(Doorbell)

"Doorbell? Uh, hold on."

(Walks over to communication device)

"Gir!"

(Gir comes down in dog disguise)

"Gir, remember with your brains, you must behave like a human dog-monster. Do you understand?"

"I really don't."

"Gir! Human dogs don't speak."

"Oh."

"Now, go answer the door."

"(Angry monkey gibberish)"

"Ah, yes. Where were we?"

"Oh, yeah. Huh? Huh?"

-2- "So how tall are they?"

"Perhaps as tall as you, my Tallest."

"And somehow, and I'm just trying to get this straight here, somehow they're dumb?"

"Like the dull-witted Gasquiggasplorch!"

"I see, fascinating."

"Yes, it is, fascinating. But I don't see-"

"Eh, hello? My Tallest? Where have you gone?"

-3- "Sorry, my Tallest. I may have found a species even dumber then the humans."

"Were they tall?"

Heh, what do you know, these actually involved several other Invaders. Which is cool, when you think about how this information helps us to understand more about Irkens. And there were more transmissions here then in the first season. Which I suppose makes sense, because that would mean people enjoyed them and wanted more. At least that's what I would think.

Well, that's it for the fun chapter. Nice, simple, and (thank God) short. My serious chapters tend to be be pretty long, so these fun chapters help to break it up. I don't need people getting headaches because of three long chapters in a row. Or so... but the next chapter is a serious one. It's an evaluation of a character in Season 1. If no one cares, then I'm going to try my hand at Zim. I know that one of my sisters only cares about the show because of Gir, so if you guys really want, I'll start his before Zim. But, it's either going to be Zim or Gir. Either way, I hope you check it out, and stick around to see what I see when I watch the show.