~defy~

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

Sunlight poured through the windows as the sheer curtains hung over the open window blew in the breeze. Sam sat on the edge of the bed as he reached up to rub against his eyes with the heels of his hands. His head was a mass of jumbled thoughts and to be honest, he couldn't really tell what was memory or vision. Around the edges of his room sat stacked boxes filled with multi-colored clothing and the circulating air from the ceiling fan was ruffling his hair. He could swear that he had already lived through this day.

To ease his worry, he stood and made his way to the window and looked out onto the front lawn. A sigh escaped his lips in relief when he didn't find the moving truck out front. If this was the present, then why were his visions suddenly bothering him again. Leaning against the window frame, he closed his eyes and tried to sort through the mass swirling of visions, memories, and thoughts. The hazel eyed man stalked by him in the crowded boardwalk. Dwayne, Sam thought with a small smile. Michael disappeared from his sight as he stood protectively in front of a small boy.

Laddie asking if Star, the gypsy girl, had left him and Sam being unable to convince himself to say yes; while knowing that the boy already knew the truth. Sam sighed as the memory of how he was delivered home the night before flitted behind his eyes. Dwayne taking Sam and Laddie in his arms, flying him home; telling the boy that he would see him tomorrow night and then watching the man fly out the window with Laddie safely tucked away. Then checking in Michael's room to find the room torn apart, but with his brother fast asleep in the middle of the bed still fully dressed. Sam forced the memories to simmer down and left his room.

He made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen, before opening the fridge and taking out the orange juice. After pouring himself a glass and getting some cashews from the pantry, he went out onto the front porch and sat in the shade. The blue sky went on for miles and Sam watched as the clouds idled by. Just as he was finishing his small breakfast the front door opened and Michael stepped out onto the porch. Their eyes met and for the first time in days, his brother didn't walk away. Instead Michael sat down in the armchair next to Sam and without a word they just enjoyed the others company.

Hours drifted by and soon enough the both of them had fallen asleep; dozing in the chairs, warmed by the summer air. A hand on his shoulder woke him up as Sam blinked his eyes open. Michael was knelt in front of him, standing when he realized that Sam was finally awake. "Sammie," the older muttered as a hand rubbed the back of his neck in what looked to be embarrassment, "Can we talk?" Sam slowly nodded, before standing and following Michael off of the porch and around the back of the house. They slowly walked passed the horse pasture towards the open field on the opposite side.

The younger found a lazy patch of grass underneath one of the many trees and sat down where the suns rays could touch him. Just in front of him, against the bark of the tree, Michael slumped against the wood in what Sam knew to be defeat rather than laziness. It broke his heart to see his brother this way; and for a moment, his felt saddened that he didn't have a reaction more like Michael's. He felt so childish for his actions and really, he felt that he would gain more from Michael during this discussion than Michael would gain from him. His brother always was a realist.

They quietly sat there as the sun crossed the sky. Sam patiently waited for Michael to speak; after all, it was he who wanted to talk. The older seemed to turn in on himself as if indecision was wavering within him. He rubbed his eyes in an attempt to clear his head; hoping that his visions wouldn't affect the seriousness of the situation. With a sigh, Sam sat up a little straighter as he scrunched his eyes tightly. It wasn't that they were confusing him; they were just persistently at the back of his mind, gauging for his attention and acknowledgement. Michael glanced his way with almost concern. "When did you know that they would be approaching us, Sam?"

At the question, Sam blinked hurriedly as he looked up to Michael with an almost white complexion. He swallowed nervously when the older just continued to look at him. "To be honest Michael, I knew from the first night that I would run into Dwayne." Michael sighed a groan as he leaned his head back against the bark of the tree, staring up through the leaves. "That was the first night that I saw him, though we didn't speak. Over the following nights, I had visions that pulled me towards him; like some kind of magnetic force. I didn't know who or what he was, but I knew that I needed to be near him. At that point in time, I didn't know about you and David."

The blood in Michael's face slowly drained, giving way to a nearly green hue. He took in a deep breathe and closed his eyes, "I had believed that it was Star." A sick feeling rose in Sam's stomach at the mention of the gypsy girl. "Every time I would see her I would feel that, and it wasn't until David cornered me that I realized that it was really him. I didn't notice, but all those moments with Star...he had always been there in the background." Sam nodded silently, understanding what Michael was saying. Even though he couldn't see David directly, he would feel his presence. Dwayne caused those same feelings in himself.

Images of Dwayne flashed behind his eyes, and Sam couldn't help but smile. "A few weeks after that first night, I allowed Dwayne to take me below the boardwalk." At the words, Michael tensed up and Sam was quick to abate his fears. "He explained who he was, what he was, and who I was to him. A night walker as they call it, those who stalk the shadows and prey on humans; vampires. He was the last of the four to be created, unknowingly. Paul, the rocker, as it turns out wasn't made to be a vampire. He is Marko's mate. Paul agreed to speak with you about his side of this story when you're ready."

"I just feel like all of this is some kind of dream. In what way were we prepared for this? On the carousel..." Michael paused to think his words through, "Dare I say it, he was nice and understanding. Granted I didn't know what to say and I didn't object. I just kind of walked around in a daze." With a nod from Sam he continued, "And then I found out that Dwayne had approached you in the same way and I just lost it. I was so confused and lost about everything, and you had accepted it so willingly and I just didn't know how so I ran. Then David found me on the boardwalk. Never have I been so frightened."

Sadness rose in Sam and for the first time in weeks, the real toll of everything finally weighed down on him. "That's funny because I wish I had been more like you Mike." At his brothers confused glance, Sam explained. "I accepted it so easily that now, if I wanted to, I'm not sure that I can back out. Not that I want to. There is this connection between Dwayne and I that I will never experience with anyone else. We were created for one another. However, if I decide that I am not cut out for this; the night life, I don't know if I will be allowed to walk away."

Michael nodded with a frown, "Even though I saw a side of David that I never want to see again, I know that it wasn't directed at me. It might have been my fault, since I sought out Star in the first place. But from the things that David was yelling at her, she knew not to come around me anymore. Yet she did." White flashed briefly and Sam watched as the gypsy girl watched from afar as Michael and David twirled around the carousel many times. Her eyes narrowed on the two and in resentment she flashed a wicked smile.

Sam shook his head with a sigh, putting his face into his hands. "She had been kept by David in order to raise the child." At this Michael rose an eyebrow and Sam nodded. "In a mistake by David, they accidentally killed the boys mother when he was a baby. That same night, he took Star and she resentfully raised the boy until today. She.." Sam hesitated with a grimace, "..won't be coming back Mike." The older looked as if he were going to ask about her, before deciding against it, "It wasn't pleasant Mike and I don't think you want to know. Let's just leave it at that."

At the assurance from Sam, Michael watched the horizon as the sun began it's decent. "They'll be around soon won't they?" At the question, Sam glanced out as the sun slowly disappeared; light giving way to the darkness. The last rays vanished beneath the sea and Sam looked up as the stars began to twinkle above them. The moon was absent and Sam figured that it was a new moon. Michael stood from his place against the tree before reaching down to pull Sam to his feet. "Are we going to the boardwalk tonight?"

With a shrug, Sam looked up at his brother. "I would like for us to talk with Paul, but if you aren't ready then we can wait for another night." In the back of his mind, it replayed that he had told Dwayne that he would see him again. Then again, the man could wait a couple more nights if it meant that Michael wasn't ready to face them yet; to face David yet. They walked back to the house and in through the back door. As they entered the kitchen, Sam could hear the distant roaring of engines and he sighed with a glance out the front screen door.

Michael joined him as lights flashed up the driveway, "I don't really believe that we have a choice anymore Sammie. This is something far bigger than even you predicted, isn't it?" A guilty flush crossed his cheeks and Sam leaned against Michael for support. He had never intended for things to go the way they had, but he knew that if they were to end up happy then there would have to be compromise on both sides. "I think that it is a good idea to talk with Paul. Maybe he can give some advice on how to go about this whole thing." Remembering Paul's story, Sam swallowed thickly. As the bikes were parked out front and the darkened figures shut of the bikes, he pushed open the screen door.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

~defy~