Chapter 4: Victorian Ball

The school year ended and Andrew graduated from high school. I felt so proud of him. He received a scholarship to his choice university and I knew it meant I wouldn't see him again for a while. So, I wanted to celebrate his accomplishment, his future, with a neighborhood party. Everyone in the cul-de-sac showed up.

It was a great time. I took a seat next to Damien on our little bench beneath our cherry tree. He wore his work clothes and had his glasses on. We sat close together, intimately.

"Did you know in the Victorian era they would call benches Seaty-boys?" he asked.

"Really?" I asked, skeptical.

"I'm kidding, Carrie. But what if."

"It's good to see you in these clothes again."

"Thank you. I had a revelation the other day, Carrie, and I think it was largely due to your continued influence upon me. There was a version of myself that might have been embarrassed to show you my true form. My… information technology form. But what you said about me, about how my passion was what you truly admired, that emboldened me to feel like myself regardless of how I choose to dress and act. Instead of separate entities, they are simply different facets of myself, a three-dimensional human being with his own thoughts, wants, and needs. I love dressing the way that I do, but feeling constricted by what I thought was my own personal brand made me lose sight of why I did this in the first place. To make myself happy."

I subconsciously bring my hand to touch Damien's. He responds by giving it a light squeeze. I look to him and see his warm smile.

He speaks again, "I'm trying to be more comfortable with who I am, rather than dwelling on who I could be to other people." I smile widely at him, feeling proud of how far he's come.

"Damien, I'm so happy you've realized you can be a dog-loving Goth," I say.

"Me too, Carrie. Me too," he replies.

I get closer to Damien. I brush some hair out of his face. So soft. "How do you get your hair to be so soft?" I ask in wonderment.

"Dog shampoo." His reply makes me giggle happily. I run my fingers through his hair, entranced. He leans closer and puts a hand to my cheek. "You know, public displays of affection were considered scandalous in the Victorian era." He pulls me closer for a deep kiss. When he pulls away, his voice is deeper as he says, "But I think I can make an exception for you." He kisses me once again and I moan, wanting.

He shivers. He leans close and whispers in my ear, "You shouldn't make such sounds without expecting consequences." Now it was my turn to shiver.

"Damien…" I tightened my grip on his hair and brought him in for another kiss.

"Am I walking myself home or are we leaving soon?" It was the voice of Damien's son, Lucien, that broke us out of our reverie. Damien sighed and gave me a kiss to the forehead. He stood and offered his hand to help me up. I took it and looked at him.

"Will I see you again soon?" I asked.

"Of course, my darling. Any time you'd like," Damien replied. He gave me one last kiss on the lips before bidding me good evening.

As it would turn out, our lives got pretty busy after that. I wasn't able to see him for a whole month after that. I missed him and wanted to see him again.

It turned out the month of July brought about a good happenstance. While online one day, I discovered the town was holding an event at the opera house: a Victorian-themed ball. Not only that, but the proceeds from the ticket sales were going to profit the local animal shelters. Damien must know about this.

I stopped by the animal shelter on my way out of work. Damien wasn't there when I walked in, but Mary was. "Hey, Mary, did you hear about the ball they're having at the opera house?" I asked.

She hushed me harshly and made me come close. "Dames is in the other room. He might hear you," she said.

"Hasn't he heard about it?"

"It's been a pain keeping this a secret from him. I wanted to give you a chance to surprise him. He hasn't been online much lately, just sitting around, moping, thinking about you."

I blushed. "Well, I can't say my life has been much different lately."

"I had a feeling." She winked. "It's your chance, girl, take it."

Damien came into the room. "Oh, hello, Carrie. What were you two talking about?" he asked.

"Carrie was just telling me she'd be busy next weekend. She has to go out of town for a while," said Mary. Wife of a preacher and she's lying?

Instead of thinking on it further though, I just nodded. "Yeah, there're some things I need to take care of," I said.

"Oh… well, have a good time… be safe." Damien left the room looking low and dejected, like a lost puppy. I almost stopped the plan right then and there.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" asked Mary.

"Right," I said. I ran out and headed home, ready to put the plan into action.

When the time finally came, I had everything ready. Mary even came over to help me with my corset and other Victorian wear. Everything I wore was authentically Victorian. I was sure the purple and black gown I wore would make Damien very happy. I put light make-up on my face and was just ready in time for when the stagecoach arrived.

"Do you think he suspects anything?" I asked.

"I just told him I'd be taking him for a night on the town and to wear his best duds," said Mary. "Now, go, quick."

We hurried into the stagecoach under cover of shadow. The coach made a small journey to Damien's house and, when it came to a stop, I heard Damien outside. "Well, this is something," he said.

Mary got out of the coach and greeted him. "You're looking rather spiffy, Dames."

"Thank you, Mary… what is all this?"

"We've got a special surprise for you, Dames."

"We…?"

"Come on out, Carrie."

I stepped to the door of the coach and into the light. From the look in Damien's eyes, he was happy to see me. "Carrie!" He grabbed my sides and lifted me off my feet. He spun me around and hugged me tight. "I missed you, so much."

"I missed you too, Damien," I said, hugging back. He set me down on the ground and we took in each other's appearances. His clothes were much more formal than even his usual Goth clothing. He wore a black top hat with a black ribbon and purple flower, black gloves, deep purple vest, and a black suit. Mary held a cane in her hands that I presumed was his. It was black with a golden ball at its top. He also wore his contacts this evening, his eyes shining in the moonlight.

"Well, let us be off then," said Damien. He took my hand and helped me into the coach. Mary gave him his cane and he followed me inside.

"You two have fun tonight!" called out Mary. We laughed happily and waved before she closed the coach door.

"So, darling, what plans do you have for me this evening?" asked Damien.

"It's a surprise," I said simply, giving him a teasing wink.

"Well, seeing you in clothes like these… it makes me very happy."

"I just wanted to make you feel the same way I do when I see you."

His hand gave mine a light squeeze. "I already do." I couldn't stop the blush that came to my cheeks.

We spent the rest of the ride in a happy silence before coming to the opera house. When Damien opened the door and we walked out together, I smiled when I saw the look of surprise in his eyes. "I had no idea the town was holding such an event! How could this have escaped my notice?" he asked.

"I was going to delete my Siingle account until I saw an ad for this ball. I thought it'd be fun, so I bought tickets. Are you… happy?" I asked.

"My dear Carrie, I am overjoyed." He held me close and we walked in.

The patrons of the ball were all dressed in Victorian wear and some of the guests seemed to know Damien. They called him out and talked with him. While he and his fellow Gothic enthusiasts talked about history that escaped my knowledge, I stood at Damien's side, feeling happier than ever that I was able to make him this happy.

We danced a few dances and it came as hardly a surprise to discover Damien was excellent at the waltz. We exchanged few words during the evening, taking more delight in each other's company. After a time, there came a lull and I asked him if we could step outside for some fresh air.

Behind the opera house was a wide garden often used for outdoor plays. There were benches set up here and some couples sitting at them. Damien and I sat at one of the benches. The roses behind us gave off a wonderful aroma, making the evening the more romantic.

"I must thank you for the invitation tonight. I had a great deal of fun," said Damien. His smile seemed half-full.

I grabbed his hand. "Damien? Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"Why would you ask that, my dear? I'm fine, just… lost in thought is all." He squeezed my hand tenderly.

"I was happy to take you out this evening. We haven't seen each other in some time. I've been… lonely without you."

"As have I, Eliza-" He froze, realizing his mistake. "I-I'm sorry, I… oh, God…" He brought both of his hands to his face and began crying. I was alarmed at this and decided to hold him and rub his back tenderly.

"It's okay, Damien. It's all right," I said hushing him.

"No, Carrie, it's not." He took out a handkerchief from his sleeve and dabbed the tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry. You just… reminded me… of her…" I stayed quiet. I wanted him to tell me at his own time.

He went on, "Eliza was…" He balled his hand into a fist. He must not have talked about her in some time. "Eliza was Lucien's mother, my… first love." He sniffed and wiped his nose with the handkerchief. "She and I shared the same interests while in school. She was my everything. She encouraged me to pursue my interests to the length you see me pursuing them today. You could say she ignited a passion within me. When she and I realized we would have a child, we were so happy… but… when the day came for Lucien to be born… she gave her life, the moment he took his first breath." I rubbed his back soothingly. There was nothing I could say, really.

He continued, "When she died, I wanted to live my life as she would have wanted. I came to accept death as a part of life, I wasn't angry that she was dead, but… I couldn't bring myself to move on. I thought that if I let go of this passion of mine, she would be gone forever. This is actually the first night I've brought myself to think of her, to say her name, in some time. I had lost myself for a long time.

"Meeting you, Carrie, has brought back something in me. I can live without her now. I don't have to live my life two-sided anymore. I can finally move on." He took my hand in his and held it tightly, as if making sure I wouldn't leave.

"I feel the same way, Damien," I said. "I have only just brought myself to, in recent weeks, get rid of the last of Daniel's things. He died on his way to pick me up from a night shift, so I stopped working nights. I stopped going outside at night, afraid I would hear his ghost. He was very dear to me, even if he wasn't to anyone else around me. I could almost feel their happiness at my 'freedom'. They hated Daniel and I never understood why. They never let me grieve, never took my feelings into account. That's why we moved.

"I'm glad I did though. Meeting you has helped me understand life better, helped me to move on. I can bring myself to love again."

"I… we should have had this conversation much sooner. I feel as if a great weight is lifted from my chest," said Damien.

"Me too." I squeezed his hand. He leaned close and put a hand behind my head. He kissed me deeply. It was a kiss unlike the others I'd had with him before. This kiss grounded us, reminded us that there was always a way to move on.

It wasn't long after that the party ended. We rode in the coach home to the cul-de-sac. It stopped in front of Damien's house and he walked me the rest of the way to my house. "Thank you again for the lovely evening, Carrie. You've made me happier than I've felt in some time." Our intertwined hands were locked, neither of us wanting to let go.

We arrived at my doorstep too soon. We both were hesitant to let go. "I don't want you to leave," I said.

"I…" He looked angry at himself, as if he were about to say something he didn't want to. "I wish I could stay, but I have an early day tomorrow. I'm sorry, my love."

I tilted his chin so that we were eye to eye. "It's all right, Damien," I said. I kissed his lips tenderly. When I pulled away, I said, "The moments I share with you, however brief, are each one happy. Thank you for making this evening such a wonderful time." I kissed his forehead. "Good night." Our hands slowly parted from palm to fingers to fingertips.

"Good night."

Once inside, I sighed. How can he so easily set a fire in my soul?

Wow, Romance Express this chapter :P I wanted to write about who Damien might have been with before since the game never talked about it. I also wanted another date before moving on to even better things ;) Let's just say the rating applies especially to the chapter coming up. Stay tuned for then and please keep reading and reviewing, thanks :D