Chapter 5: His Bouquet

Summertime came and ended. When fall came, Andrew left for his university, leaving me in the house alone. What made it all the worse was how much Damien had been working lately. His letters had been becoming briefer and were bring sent with less frequency. I barely even caught him at home before he'd rush out the door for work.

One evening, as the sun set on another lonely day, I watched one of the romances that'd make me cry every time I watched it. I lay on the couch in my sweat pants and night shirt eating ice cream with as much chocolate as possible. I squirted chocolate whipped cream into my mouth to suppress my tears and vainly try to fill the hole in my heart.

Then, there was a knock at the door. I set down the whipped cream and ice cream on the coffee table, put my slippers on, and trudged to the door. I opened it to see Damien in his work clothes and on one knee on my doorstep.

"Damien! What are you doing here?" I asked, suddenly feeling conscious of the disarray my hair was in.

From behind his back, he pulled out a bouquet of flowers for me and my heart leapt at seeing the lilies. I took them happily and invited him in. I was shaky with excitement as I took out a vase, filled it with water, and put the flowers in it. As soon as the flowers were safe, Damien wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed me on the neck.

"Wh-what's the occasion?" I asked, stuttering and blushing.

"I wanted to apologize for spending so many days away from you, but there was something I wanted to get for you that I simply didn't have the money for, at the time," said Damien. He turned me to face the bouquet. "Remember how I once told you that there was a significance in how the bow to a bouquet is tied?"

I gasped, finally noticing the ring tied to the ribbon. He held me closer as he whispered in my ear, "Carrie, my darling, will you marry me?"

"Damien, yes, of course!" I turned in his hold and we kissed each other. He had his hands on my back, pulling me impossibly closer and I reciprocated. The kiss lasted longer than either of us expected and I moaned. He groaned in response and pulled away.

He whispered in my ear, "I hope you save your best sounds for our wedding night."

I shivered in anticipation. "Yes, darling, yes…" I whispered, breathless.

We kissed again and, on parting, he said, "Until then, my love."

Our engagement only lasted for about a week. We got a justice of the peace to marry us in my backyard. The cherry blossoms had become fruit at this point and were falling on the ground. Birds and other small creatures feasted upon the fallen fruit and I felt as if there could be no more beautiful a day.

That evening, Damien walked me to his house. It was agreed upon that I would sell my house and move in with him. We had even taken some seeds from the cherry tree to plant one in Damien's garden. Until that time, however, this night I stayed with him.

"It was a beautiful wedding, Damien," I sighed happily while holding his waist.

He held mine as he replied, "And now we're finally alone; together at last." He whispered in my ear, "I sent Lucien to a friend's house for the evening." I shivered at the implication. "By the way, it has made me very happy that you have chosen not only to keep your Victorian dress, but also that you wore it on our wedding day."

"I could think of no more fitting an outfit."

"Indeed… I must admit, the first time I saw you wear it, I wanted to take it off of you. And now that we're here…" He pulled down my collar and suckled my neck, making my breath catch in my throat. "Now that we're here and you're mine, so are your clothes, which are coming off by my hands."

"Damien…" I moaned as he kissed at my neck, touching those spots that made me want him more than anything in the world.

He stooped down and took one of my feet into his hand. He began unbuttoning the shoe before taking it off gently. He did likewise with the other foot. His shoes he unbuttoned and tossed aside and, though they were heels, he still stood on his feet taller than me. He removed my gloves and his next. His fingers intertwined with mine as he kissed me deeply. His lips ignited a fire in me, as they always did when we kissed like this.

He pulled away, finding the both of us breathless. He lifted me into his arms and I squealed in delight. He carried his bride bridal style to his room where a purple King awaited to make me his queen. Damien set me down on my feet and removed the hoops keeping my skirt billowed. He then set me down on the bed and removed our hats, throwing them perfectly onto the dresser on the opposite end of the room.

Damien then began unbuttoning my dress as I unbuttoned his vest. He shirked off his coat and vest, leaving a white silk shirt. In the moonlight, I could see the outline of his chest through the shirt and I shivered. As Damien was still unbuttoning my dress at this point, he felt it and whispered hotly into my ear, "Anxious, are we?" in a teasing tone.

"Damien…" I sighed amorously.

Damien helped remove the top half of the dress, revealing my undergarments to him. I lifted my legs as he scooted the rest of the dress off me and threw it unceremoniously onto the floor. He lay me down again and began kissing my neck again with more vigor. "I appreciate your authenticity, darling, but the corset does nothing to improve the appearance of an already beautiful woman."

As he held me in an embrace to untie the strings to the corset, I said, "You're just frustrated you need to take off extra layers to get to me."

"Well, yes!" he said frankly. I giggled happily. I breathed a sigh of relief when the corset was finally removed. Damien then proceeded to remove the last remnants of my Victorian underwear to only let out a groan of frustration at seeing I wore modern underwear underneath. "This is getting ridiculous." He went to take off my bra and underwear, but I held him back with a foot.

"Nothing more comes off me until that shirt comes off."

"You're being unfair."

"Is it unfair of me to want to see you as much as you want to see me?" I asked, my hands on his shirt collar.

"No." I began unbuttoning his shirt, but his hand stopped me halfway. I hadn't noticed until now how big his hand was. His long fingers nearly held both my wrists in one hand. "I'm just… embarrassed… I guess. I'm not… proud… of my appearance…"

"Damien." His eyes met mine. I had insisted he wear clear contacts today and I was happy for it. His warm caramel eyes searched my deep blue ones. "I want to see you, my husband, my darling." I kissed his neck and suckled until he groaned.

"As you wish, my darling…" He didn't stop me as I took off the rest of his shirt. Now, only his binder separated me from his chest. He scooped me up until we were both upright on the bed. I took off the binder and he looked away with a blush.

"Damien… I had no idea you were hiding such beauty from me." He was really cut. He had not a six-pack, but an eight-pack. His pectorals were large and, from touching them, I could tell he worked on them as well as his abs. His arms were lean, but muscles rippled as he moved. I blushed at this godlike man.

"I must admit I… I get a little embarrassed since they've always been big," Damien said in reference to his pecs. "I got teased for it, so I decided to hide them."

"Damien," I said, cupping his face in my hands. "I couldn't love your appearance more. Please, don't change or hide around me."

He pulled me until I was in his lap and kissed me passionately. "I love you," he moaned hotly.

"I love you," I replied. I ran my hands over his chest, just feeling it. He shivered at my touch. I kissed his clavicle and bit down, causing him to gasp. I licked at the bite before kissing further down his chest. He laid me down on the bed, stopping me in my tracks. He reached behind my back to take off my bra. He tossed it aside and kissed and fondled my breasts. "Damien…" I sighed.

I wanted more of his touch. I traced my hands down his back and grabbed the hem of his pants, frustrated they still hadn't been removed. He laughed deeply into my chest, causing my entirety to vibrate. "Yes, darling…" he seemed to understand what I wanted.

He removed his pants and I gaped at how tight his underwear was, in addition to how large he looked. "D-Damien… Y-you're b-bigger th-than I'm used t-to," I couldn't stop my stuttering. I was as nervous as I was my first time, I realized.

"It's all right, my darling. I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable. All right?" He held my cheek in one hand.

"A-all right." I nodded.

His hand reached to my underwear. "Would this be okay?"

I nodded. He removed my underwear, leaving me entirely bare before him. He sucked on three of his fingers, lubricating them. He then slipped one inside me and I jumped, having not experienced someone else's touch in a long time.

"It's all right," Damien soothed. I felt another finger enter me and he began moving them around. He stretched them back and forth to make me big enough (hopefully). I moaned and thrusted my hips into his hand. He inserted his third finger and flexed all three into me.

"Damien…" His name came breathlessly across my lips like a mantra keeping my humanity in place before I went fully carnal. A fourth finger went in and I thought I was going to lose it, then and there. I groaned. "Don't stop… please…"

However, he pulled out. "Carrie…" I looked at him in time to see him lick his fingers clean of my fluids. I shivered again. "I don't think this paltry appetizer will do." Just as I was wondering what he meant, he began kissing my thighs and around my dripping heat. He stopped for a moment before giving a long lick to me. I shivered and moaned.

"Damien… darling, please…"

He came back to my level and kissed my jawline. "What do you want me to do?" he asked. He kissed my lips and I moaned.

He pulled away and hovered over me, awaiting an answer. "You're such a fucking tease…"

He laughed and began peppering my neck with kisses once again. "I want to hear you say it. It's been a long time since I've heard someone ask me for it."

I shivered. "Damien…"

"Yes?" his voice was low and I knew he was just as aroused as I was.

"Touch me, make me cum, please…"

"That's all I needed to hear, darling." He kissed down my body from my clavicle down to my thighs once again. Then, his tongue went into me. I cried out in ecstasy.

"Damien… oh, God, Damien, yes!" I breathed. My mental dictionary went down to a handful of words as his tongue went in and out of me with a speed and grace that I hadn't experienced in any equivalent before.

Just as I felt myself on the edge, my body shaking, demanding for a release, he stopped. He kissed me, put his tongue in my mouth, and made me taste the fruit of his labor, of my labor. I moaned. "Damien… please…"

He was breathing heavily, perhaps suppressing himself as much as I was. He removed his underwear and I finally saw all of him. "Carrie… I need you…"

I shivered at how deep his voice had gotten. I brought my legs around his waist. Before going in, he seemed struck with a thought. "Wait," he said.

I groaned in frustration at being further delayed. He fumbled with reaching for his nightstand drawer. He grabbed some lube and put some into me, further widening my entrance. He then reached for a condom and slipped it on. I could have saved him the extra step, but that was a secret I couldn't divulge right now. He lubed up the condom's exterior as well.

He kissed me deeply as he slowly entered me. I groaned in pain since he was still pretty big. He kissed the tears away that had sprung from my eyes. Then, a miracle, he was all the way inside me. He was still quite large, but I was slowly getting used to it.

I felt Damien shaking and his member throbbing within me. It was taking everything in him to not move, to let me get comfortable. I kissed his lips. "Thank you… you can move now…" I gave my thanks and permission.

He slowly moved out, then rocked back in, hard. I moaned loudly. He did this again until he set a slow pace. "Carrie…"

"Damien…" I moaned. "Faster…"

He acquiesced and I started feeling myself moving to a higher cloud of ecstasy. I moved with him as I felt our bodies becoming one. "Carrie…" It seemed to be the only word he remembered anymore.

While I still had a small grip of humanity left, I told him, "I want… I want you all, Damien… don't hold back." My cries and our moans and groans grew louder as I felt him give himself to me.

"Carrie…" He gripped my shoulders urgently, perhaps signaling me that he was close.

"Damien…" I was close too. I tightened my legs' hold on his waist and put my arms around his neck. He got on his forearms and began kissing me once again, but it didn't last long since we were both running short on breath. "Damien!" I cried as I felt my orgasm hit. My back arched and my chest met his.

"Carrie!" I felt him and he felt me in a more intimate way than we ever had before. We both gave a few more thrusts, not wanting to let go yet. His hair was hooded around my face. He kissed me deeply, our breaths only barely calming down. He pulled out and took the condom off before nearly collapsing at my side. I turned to my side gingerly, still feeling the remnants of him between my legs. I watched his chest rise and fall.

"You held back for me…" I said between breaths.

He turned to face me. "Of course, darling… I wanted it that way." His hand met mine and he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. His breathing and mine slowed to more comfortable paces. Neither of us were tired enough to sleep yet.

"Damien, there's something I should tell you."

"Is everything all right, Carrie? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I smiled. "No more hurt than I expected from that size." I winked.

"Carrie." He hugged my body close to his chest. I had never felt smaller around him before. His chest was so broad and manly. He had a hand on the small of my back and another on the back of my head. "You should have told me, I would have been more careful."

"Damien, it's not that…"

He tilted my chin upward to look in his eyes. "Then, what is it?"

I blushed and tried to look away, but he wouldn't let me. I looked in his eyes again. "The reason why Andrew is adopted is because I can't have children. I'm… I'm barren, Damien."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "That's all right, Carrie. It's okay." He rubbed my back soothingly.

"You were expecting me to say something worse, weren't you?" I asked slapping his arm playfully.

He laughed. "No! Maybe…" He laughed again and I gave him another slap. "Stop…" He was now in a fit of laughter. I pouted. He stopped laughing and got serious. "All right, here is my honest opinion, Carrie: I am happy with the children that I have. If we one day decide we want another, I am perfectly willing to look at some options like surrogacy or adoption or whatever we decide. This does not change anything between us."

"It definitely simplifies sex though."

He laughed. "I suppose it does." He kissed my forehead. "I love you, Carrie."

"I love you, Damien."

Some time passed. Andrew came home for the holidays and he and Lucien became good friends. Damien looked at Andrew as his son and I looked at Lucien as my son. Never having known his mother, I think Lucien appreciated it, even though he had odd ways of showing it.

One day, I was home with Lucien. I had called off sick to work since I had been throwing up like crazy. Lucien was… being less than sympathetic. He just listened to his music and tuned me out of existence.

"Lucien," I called out to him, waving a hand in front of his face.

He removed his earbuds and said, "Don't get me sick with your germs." He then curled further into himself than he had been, his hoodie drooping over his hair entirely.

"Lucien, we need to talk. Ever since I came to live here, you've been very stand-offish and you barely say ten words to me in a day, if at all." He huffed and I continued. "Lucien, I don't want to take the place of your mother, but I-"

"How can you say that?! Don't act like you knew my mom! 'Cause you didn't! I'm tired of being forced into this relationship! I didn't ask you to be my mom! You're not!" He screamed. Tears were streaming from his face and he was now pacing the living room.

"Lucien-"

"And I'm not going back to therapy!"

I stood up and hugged him close to me. He didn't return it, but he didn't pull away either. "You don't need to. I don't ask that of you. I just… I just wanted to know why you hated me."

"I don't hate you…" he said quietly. I pulled away and his tears had lessened. "I just feel like you're replacing mom. I don't want her to be forgotten."

"And she won't be. Lucien, I'm thankful to her, because she gave me a chance to meet you."

He crossed his arms. "Yeah, I guess."

"Cool. Now, how about I make us some vegan waffles? I know how much you… like them…" I felt my breath come harder as I walked. My vision got narrowed and I felt woozy. Lucien came to my side and grabbed my hand. He guided me back to the couch for me to sit down.

"Geez, you're probably dehydrated from hurling so much," he said.

"I'm okay…" My voice was quiet, unintentionally.

He scoffed. "No, you're not." I held my head in my hands, bent over. Lucien slowly made me sit up. He handed me a glass of water, which I sipped gingerly. "You gonna hurl again? I can get you a trash can."

"I'm okay. Really, I am." He offered me a packet of crackers and I shook my head. "Not feeling any appetite though." I still felt woozy.

"Maybe we should call a doctor."

"I don't wanna worry your dad. I'm fine, really." I got up slowly. "There, see? I got this."

"You should be in bed, here I can help you." If he said anything else, it was a blur to me. I immediately passed out.

When I woke up, I heard Damien and Lucien talking. I wasn't strong enough to really do anything other than listen. "I didn't know what else to do! She just collapsed in front of me!" Lucien sounded upset.

"Lucien, it's all right. I should have seen this was a bigger problem than its appearance. She insisted she was fine and I just… I didn't want to pressure her," said Damien. He sounded just as scared.

"That's what happened with mom and she died!" Lucien was in tears now.

"Lucien…"

"I don't wanna lose her too."

"It's all right, Lucien. She's going to be fine."

"Mr. Bloodmarch?" came a new voice. A woman.

"Doctor, what's happened to my wife? Is she going to be all right?" asked Damien.

"We're running some tests now. Her urine sample shows she was a little dehydrated, which probably caused her fainting spell," said the doctor.

"Damien…" I found my voice, though croaky, at last. My eyes were heavy, but I was able to see Damien at my side.

"It's all right, darling. I'm here," said Damien. He held my hand fast.

A male doctor came in. "Mr. Bloodmarch, I'd like to speak with you and your wife alone, if that's all right," he said.

"It's happening again… oh, God…" Lucien was crying. The female doctor hushed him and walked him outside. With the door closed, I could see Damien let out tears he had been holding back.

"We're going to be keeping your wife until tomorrow so that she can get her strength back," said the doctor.

"Please, doctor, just tell me my wife is going to be okay," said Damien.

"The tests show they're both gonna be just fine."

"They're… both…?" I asked.

"I don't understand," said Damien.

"The tests show your wife's pregnant. Her vomiting was just morning sickness," said the doctor.

"Carrie…" Damien kissed my forehead tenderly, relieved.

"Congratulations," said the doctor.

"A child… Carrie…" said Damien.

"I'm scared, Damien," I said.

"It's all right. We'll get through this together. I've been through this before." His tone was laced with a bit of sadness and I could understand why. He sees this as a potential death sentence too, doesn't he?

"Damien, I need to ask you something. It's gonna sound really selfish, but… if it looks like I might die, keep me alive. I know this is a miraculous circumstance and that I may not have another chance at it, but I can't die. I can't leave you behind and I can't let Lucien lose another mother."

"Death is a natural part of life, remember? Whatever happens will happen. We must find a way to be okay with that."

"I love you, Damien. I don't want to leave you."

"It's all right, my love, it's okay." He held me close. We would just have to wait and see.

Well, this was primarily where the M rating came in LOL. One more chapter left, so stay tuned ;) Please keep reading and reviewing, thanks :D