I yawn and snatch my jacket and Dad's credit card as I head out the door. The gentle breeze blows through my whispy hair, somewhat obstructing my field of vision. I let it, since its super bright out and I can see well enough. I never really liked the normal district, I alway prefered the night district, the side of the speck that faced the dark cave wall. Its not like I have anything personal against the daytime, its just so damn bright…

I arrive at the department store and step through the sliding glass door, where I'm greeted by a smiling employee. "Hello sir would you like to try our new purified water!?" I decline and keep walking until I find the same model and brand as the TV we had at home. Its not too big, only 32", so I'm able to carry it to check-out, not without a bit of effort though.

The clerk rings it up and gives me a look. "You sure you can afford this kid?" Shit, that's right, Dad insited on buying a stupid-ass 4k TV. "Just put it on the card ok?" I offer him Dad's credit card and he shakes his head. "Sorry, kid I'm gonna have to talk to the manager about a purchase like this…" He walks off.

I have half a mind to steal this shit but I decide against it, they'd eat a kid like me for breakfast in juvi. Though I doubt any of the other kids there would have a stand. "Hello sir!" I turn towards the source of the voice, the manager. "I see you're ready to buy your things."
He's decent looking, brown hair, blue eyes. He looks like a regular person, no specifically distinguishable features. He looks like the first thing you think of when you think of a who. His nametag says Karl. "Yeah, I just needed to pick up this TV," I smile politely, getting slightly annoyed with this guy's attitude. "The one at home broke." I clarify.

"Ah yes, well, its just, you've chosen a rather expensive TV," He smiles and offers me a water bottle. I take it and crack it open, I was feeling a bit thirsty now. Upon drinking it I felt instantly better, though a bit weird. "You'll have to pay all that money."

"Yeah, I know, that's how stores work right?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes well, we have to make sure of these things," He smiles and I swear I'm going to punch his smug-ass face. "To avoid identity theft."

"Yeah, well I'm not doing that," I totally am. "So can you just ring me up Karl?"

He reluctantly obliges. "Your total is $454.39." He smiles again and I grumble, punching the pin into the keypad. I get an error and try again. And again. Am I missing the mark? I look to my hand and sure enough it shaking, though not badly enough for it to affect my keypad skills.

"Sir, are you having a hard time with the machine?" Did I forget the pin? No, that can't be. Unless, maybe I did. "Did you forget the pin?" I try several other combinations but I mess those up too. "Could it be that this isn't even your card?"

Now I feel my blood boiling. What is with this fucking manager, can't he keep his trap shut for 5 minutes? "Shut the fuck up!" My words come out slightly slurred and I feel like I'm in a daze. I shake it off, rubbing my head.

"Sir, I don't want to cause a scene." No, fuck that, fuck this guy, fuck this store.

"Dude, shut the hell up, I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't shut up for like 5 seconds!" I stumble over myself and nearly knock into a chair.

"Sir you sound intoxicated. I know you're a minor, but could it be you're drunk?" Drunk? Like hell I am, all I drank was that stupid water. "Of course I'm not fuckin' drunk. Watch, I'll take a breathalyzer test right now." I growl and for whatever reason, Karl has one. He crams it into my mouth without warning and starts it up.

"0.849% BAC. Sir, I'm afraid we don't serve intoxicated whos," I feel my blood boiling as the manager points to the door. "I'm going to have to ask you to exit the premises."

"Screw this shit!" I summon Great Phant who aims a punch at the manager but it stops before it hits his face.

"A stand user? Interesting…" Karl cracks his neck. "Your movements are slow from the alcohol in your system, not to mention the fact that your stand doesn't look very fast to begin with. It looks like it'll be easy to take you out with my Friday!"

His stand appears, a humanoid creature with no face and red and white stripes going diagonally across it's body. The letters T.G.I.F. appear in random spots in big black letters. Though it didn't have a face, his stand wore a pair of sunglasses and atop it's haid, a black crown. "6 minutes, that's all you have until Friday's ability puts you in a coma and eventually kills you, just as I was instructed to do."

6 minutes? Ability? I didn't even know stands had abilities. Damn Jotaro, not telling me everything. I wonder what ability Friday might have, or even Great Phant. I bet its really cool, maybe it can- No! Focus Jojo! "You done yet? You have 5 minutes and a half until your alcohol levels get so high you pass out."

Shit! I gotta end things quick, but what can I do? I don't even know my ability yet… Time to punch aimlessly until something happens. "Damn you bastard!" I shout as Great Phant throws a ballista of drunken punches, none of them hitting. That's when I get the bright idea having Phant knee him in the stomach. A direct hit!

Karl coughs up blood, staining his fur and uniform. "That was the first and last hit you'll get." he mutters, Friday unleashes a barrage of punches and kicks, so fast I can hardly see them. Despite my efforts they all land on Phant and though it took the hit, all the damage went straight to me! I fly backward into a shelf of bread. My back cracks which feels great but I also hit my head, I reach my hand back o check for damage only to feel a warm, sticky substance. My blood.

"Now would be a great time to learn your ability Jojo…" I mutter to myself. Hold on… What was it I said to Jotaro when he touched? Something about pancakes? I can't remember. Friday and Karl rushe toward me, unleashing a barrage of attacks and at this point I can barely stand, let alone dodge. "4 minutes Jojo!" I dispel Phant while I recollect my thoughts but its too late, Friday unleashes an onslaught of attacks and I barely get away.

I can hardly stand, let alone think. "FLATTEN! That's what I said!" Why would I threaten to flatten him? Could it be that I subconsciously knew my stand's ability? But what can I flatten? I highly doubt a stand is so powerful it can flatten humans, maybe I can flatten small things or inanimate objects. "Great Phant!" My stand materializes and I get a brilliant idea, one so amazing, of course I'd only be able to get it while drunk. Phant clumsily swings at Karl's shoulder and he doesn't even bother to dodge.

"You're too weak to even hurt me, why fucking bother-" The shirt of his uniform begins to flatten, crushing his torso. "What the hell! What- what're you-" he wheezes taking in as much air as possible. "What're you doing?"

"Great Phant's ability! I can flatten inanimate objects smaller than 6 who-feet!" I grin drunkly and I see Karl's shirt tighten, he can't breathe now. "Phant! Go… go and get 'im!" I grin and launch an assault with Great Phant, releasing a barage of drunken punches. "KILIKILIKILIKILIKILI!"

His body thrashes wildly and blood spurts everywhere. Its only when his stand's ability wears off that I realize what I've just done. I just fucking killed a man, with a crowd of people nearby. I'm screwed, hell my whole family is. If word gets out I killed a person everyone in my family would be harassed, specifically my dad. He'd never get elected again, not mention my whole family be blacklisted from everything you could possibly be blacklisted from.

"What the hell just happened?" One of the customers asks me timidly. "You two were shouting and then you went flying, and then he exploded!" Can they not see stands? Jotaro must've neglected to tell me that too, fucking dick. Lets see, I gotta come up with an excuse, think Jojo think.

"It must be something he ate… I really don't know." Was it a half-assed excuse? Yeah, but the real question is did they buy it? The customer nods and shouts what I said to the rest of the store. I nab the TV and head out.

"Son of a bitch ain't good for anything," The man sighs and swipes left on his ?Pad. "Stand users, stand users…" Dryftwud wasn't the best app for finding stand potential stand users but he was looking for an easy lay anyway. He stops on a young boy, maybe 12 or so. "Why the fuck does he- nevermind, he goes to Jojo's school. I just need him to get close to him so I can kill him off, once he's gone I can take care of those government pissants.

(AN: ?pad is pronounced "whoPad". Don't question it, don't like, don't read.)

Who Government

The Mayor

The mayor can decree whatever they want but ultimately the decision is up to the council. The mayor and his family, however, still live like kings and queens they get a portion of all citizen's taxes. If the current Mayor passes, the position is given to the Mayor's son but if the mayor's son is deceased the next in line is the prime minister, then the treasurer, then the supreme judge, and finally if they're all dead the next mayor is chosen by the council from a list of qualified candidates.

The Council

The council has the power to veto any decision in whoville but they do not have the power to directly make decisions.

The Prime Minister

The main source of law proposals.

Supreme Judge

The judge of Whoville's highest court.

Treasurer

The one who manages all Whoville funds.