IMPORTANT NOTICE!!! PLEASE READ:
Okay, for all of you that have subscribed to this "story", I need to give you some info. Three of my table subjects have actually become a story all their own. They are White, Red, and Curiosity. As I sat down at my Midnight Job, I suddenly felt inspired, so they ended up being four and a half pages each. So now instead of posting it here, I am going to make them into a full story.
The Title of the Story is "Curiosity Killed The Cat, Or Maybe John Dorian". It is JDCox, so have no fears. I just wanted to tell you all incase you wanted to check it out. Well, enjoy the story!
END OF IMPORTANT NOTICE
"Depression Has No Silver Lining"
Table Themes: Depression and Silver
WARNING: This has to do with some religious issues. I am sorry if this offends anyone.
There is always a silver lining, or so they say. But on days like this I am not so sure.
"CLEAR!"
"Dr. Dorian!"
"I said Clear!"
"She's gone!"
"CLEAR NOW!"
"Janice, let her go."
"No, I can't!"
"Time of death."
"…3:46."
"You did the best you could Bambi."
"My best just wasn't good enough."
"Newbie-"
"Excuse me, I have to go talk to the family."
This was the fifth coding I've had today, and the third one that died. I tried…I tried so hard to save them! In times like these Turk would speak of God…but I don't see it. I can't see God when I am speaking the time of death.
"Vanilla Bear-"
"If you start preaching to me Turk I will have to hurt you."
"Man, c'mon-"
I was tired, so very tired. All my patience was gone…and I rounded on my best friend, arms spread wide. I would apologize for this later, and I knew he would accept…but I had to get it out.
"God is not in these halls Turk! If he was, we wouldn't have anyone to heal! You wouldn't be a surgeon and I wouldn't have this nice silver thing around my neck!"
"Bro, calm down-"
"Don't call me bro and do not tell me to calm down! I do not need to be talked down, especially by you! GOD IS NOT HERE! If he was, I would not have to tell a set of parents that they would never be able to hold their four year old daughter again because she died while being treated for Pneumonia. Then I wouldn't have to watch as the mother broke down in her husbands arms, holding on to him for dear life as she cried out for her little girl. Or watch as a strong man held his wife, only to be crying himself."
"JD…"
"No…No Turk…your God is not here…"
I turned away, tears streaming down my face. I heard him call out to me as I walked away, but I couldn't answer. There was somewhere I had to be.
I headed up to the roof, my sacred place. Sure, I knew everyone could find me if they wanted to, but it didn't matter. I had to speak to someone important. I tilted my head up to the sky, anger filling my chest. I don't think I had ever felt so much hate before inside of me…and it was all directed towards Him.
"You took them away…all of them…Now Mr. Benson won't be able to see his son's play off game…or Mrs. Tasha…she can't see her grandson get married this fall…no…you had to take them from their families…their friends…you had to let them die…"
"And Alice…sweet, innocent Alice…she can never grow up to be the famous ballerina like she dreamed…She can never grow up, or go to prom. There will be no white dress and wedding bells for her…or the laughter of little children…Geez! She barely got to be a child herself! You took that from her! You took it all! You made her leave her family who loved her and still need her! How selfish are you! GIVE THEM BACK!!! GIVE HER BACK!!!"
No answer…there never was an answer. I closed my eyes, my fists clenching beside me. The tears were coming again…I could feel them…and I hated every minute of it…
"I hate it…I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!"
"You done now Alice?"
"DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME BY THAT NAME AGAIN!" I screamed as I turned to look at the older man who was leaving against the wall. I could see his eyes widen in shock, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered…it hurt…it hurt so much…
I guess I didn't notice it as it happened, but somewhere along the way, as the hate and tears swelled, I was falling. But I didn't hit the ground. No, Dr. Cox…Perry…had caught me in his arms and pressed me against his chest. I was silent for a moment before the shudders came, then the sobs. He ran his hand through my hair in a soothing motion, but it only made me cry harder.
"Why Dr. Cox…why her?"
"I don't know Newbie."
"But it hurts…it hurts so bad…for Mrs. Tasha and Mr. Benson…and Alice…"
"I know…but it will fade…it always does…"
"But not anytime soon…"
"No JD. Not as soon as you would hope. But in time, the pain does fade. You move on with your life, slowly but surely. But the patients you lose…over time…will always be with you."
"I know…doesn't stop it from hurting."
"If it didn't hurt, then you wouldn't be human."
"…Perry?"
"Yeah Sandra?"
"Please don't leave me."
"I won't. I got you."
"No…I didn't mean now…well, also about now I guess…but-"
"I know what you meant Newbie. I stand by what I said."
So…maybe sometimes there was a silver lining after all…
I know in a lot of fan fictions JD is happy go lucky, and even in the show. But there has to be a breaking point when you lose so many patients. This was my rendition of it. I know, after a lot of things that happened, that I questioned my faith. I still am in fact.
I hope you enjoyed the story. More to come soon, along with "Curiosity Killed the Cat, or Maybe John Dorian."