Lexa was always a heavy thinker. Her mind was always sprinting. With strategies, with solutions. The smallest problem could have her up for days on her throne staring hard at the floor until the moon rose behind her and her eyes begged for rest.
Nights like these made her regret having her advisor executed. Titus had been a smart man, calculated, thorough. He knew how to make Lexa see the smallest detail. To make her make good decisions quicker. Without him she was slower. She thought more on the cons when before she rarely cared for them. And it irritated her somewhat.
Nights like these brought regret and guilt. But also affirmation of her stance in being a good commander. Thinking through a decision first was the right way. Titus had always taught her as much.
Clarke both loved and hated finding Lexa in these moments. On the one hand she loved Lexa being spaced out. It gave clarke time to unashamedly stare at her lover. To scan the sharp planes of her beautiful perfect face. From the tops of her braids to the perfect bow of her lips.
Lexa could think for hours. And Clarke could stare for hours.
On the other hand, Clarke hated rolling in bed at night to find Lexa's side of the furs cold. She hated the lonely dark walk up to the throne room. And she hated finding Lexa looking worn and exhausted, sometimes even asleep, on her throne. She hated coaxing Lexa out of her own mind and down to bed. It exhausted them both.
Clarke's hand brushed around the top of her little baby bump a moment and she stifled a long yawn as she quietly watched Lexa again working her mind late into the night. She sighed tiredly to herself for another nights work and moved from her stance by the door.
"Hey" Clarke called softly as she approached Lexa stood over her map table.
The commander lifted her head long enough out of her thoughts to smile at clarke before she returned to her task. Clarke moved to her side and wrapped her arm around Lexa's waist, squeezing gently when Lexa failed to notice.
"What're you working on?" She asked peering at the maps herself.
She frowned seeing the layout of the Delphikru borders beneath Lexa's stare. She'd heard rumours of their unrest but she'd never thought it was a serious issue. Clearly Lexa did.
Clarke ran her hand up Lexa's back, rubbing at the tension she felt hiding beneath Lexa's shirt. Her eyes ran worryingly over Lexa's eyes, which stared continuously at the map like a lifeline she loathed to take.
"Lexa?" Clarke took the commanders hand when she failed to answer.
Lexa looked away from the table finally. Her stinging eyes found Clarke's worrying ones and she allowed her lover to take her from her maps to her throne. Her walk was stiff thanks to the hours standing in one position, her bones ached terribly. The short walk to her throne felt like miles to her sore limbs. She felt Clarke's disapproval long before she felt herself being pushed down, forced to take her seat.
She started to object, "Clarke-"
"How long have you been stood there?" Clarke asked over her peering at Lexa's pale face in the candlelight.
Lexa shuffled guiltily on her throne and Clarke knew without being told that it'd been a while. She blew out an irritated breath.
"You'll make yourself sick staying up for weeks" she muttered stroking a hand down Lexa's face, "Then what use will you be to us?"
Lexa managed a tired smile back as she reached her hands out to touch Clarke's sides. She pulled the blonde closer and leant herself forward so she could rest her head against Clarke's stomach. The blonde's fingers slipped easily into her hair and drew circles against her scalp, making Lexa give the softest of sighs.
"You're worried" she murmured closing her eyes as the blonde dropped her other hand to massage the back of her neck.
Clarke breathed deeply. She is worried. Of course she is. Lexa is forever tired these days.
"What're you worrying about?" Clarke warily asked standing closer when Lexa's hands push her so.
Lexa stalls the moment. She nuzzles her nose into Clarke's clothes. She inhales deeply, allowing the sweet smell of the blonde's scent to calm her. She hesitates in answering Clarke. She doesn't want her to worry too. Missing a night or two of sleep is fine for Lexa. She isn't the pregnant one.
Her thumbs trace circles from clarke's sides to the peak of her growing belly, seeking her child. She imagines a tiny heartbeat echoing Clarke's while she rests there.
This was what she did it for. This was what kept her up night after night. Keeping this safe.
"It doesn't matter" she mumbled looking up at the blonde with a tired smile, "Just a small problem. Nothing worth worrying yourself over"
Clarke looked like she wanted an explanation. Lexa didn't want to give one. Not when she knew it would bring the blonde stress. Stress that would not be good for the baby.
So Lexa locked away her worries behind a fresh smile and gently pulled the blonde down into her lap. She wrapped her arms around Clare's waist after, hands landing to their usual stop at Clarke's belly. Beneath Clarke's skin a soft nudge touching Lexa's fingertips made her smile genuine.
"How is he today?" The commander asked nuzzling her lips against Clarke's temple the moment the blonde gave in with her stern frown and relaxed herself against lexa's shoulder. Clarke's eyes fluttered closed.
"Fine" she mumbled rubbing her palm over her belly, "We're fine"
Lexa's brow crinkled hearing the sadness masked in Clarke's voice. She looked to the blonde's still sleepy expression. She could tell clarke had missed her today.
Lexa sighed deeply to herself and held Clarke closer. She knew being commander put a strain on their relationship. And that Clarke was somewhat bitter for it when it dragged her away from Clarke too much. She knew Clarke worried about it, and especially now they were expecting a child. Clarke worried Lexa's duty would overshadow her love for her family.
But it never could.
Lexa pressed a soft kiss to Clarke's cheek and her heart bumped its old hopeless rhythm when Clarke smiled. For a moment Lexa was able to forget their troubles.
"Clarke kom Skaikru" she uttered softly into the blonde's hair. The woman on her lap delicately shivered in answer.
"Sha, heda?" Clarke answered patiently.
Lexa kissed her head again and then moved her lips down, chasing the skin on clarke's cheek to her jaw and throat. Drinking in every inch of Clarke her lips could reach.
Clarke breaths slowed in reply and her hand came up to hold tightly onto Lexa's wrist. Both encouraging her to continue and warn her to stop. Lexa paid no attention. Clarke's heart always spoke her true desires. And right now it was humming for more.
"Lex!" Clarke gasped and bit her lip to keep quiet, "What're you doing?!"
Lexa's smile smeared across clarke's throat in reply. Carefully she brought her hands down to the back of Clarke's left knee and guided it to turn and press against the seat of the throne so Clarke sat with a leg either side of her.
Clarke looked down at Lexa after. She looked confused and excited and somewhat nervous too. Lexa ran the pad of thumb across Clarke's cheek, with a smile when the blonde leant into her hand. She leant up after to capture the blonde's lips. They kissed slowly at first, lips trading soft pecks and playful nips. But then Clarke's tongue brushed Lexa's and a heat rose up the commander's back.
With Clarke's tongue gracing her mouth Lexa's hands danced down the blonde's back, sneaking low beneath her shirt to rub circles into her hips. Her squeezing palms caused the blonde to dance up under touch and let loose a soft giggle against Lexa's lips that echoed about the abandoned throne room. Lexa smiled happily at the sound. She'd missed hearing Clarke laugh.
"Lets go to bed, ai niron" she husked into Clarke's ear. The blonde looked down at her eagerly.
"Sha, heda" she whispered back but made no attempt to climb off the commander.
Lexa grinned up at her and caught Clarke down into another kiss. She carefully stood as they kissed, moving only slightly away so she could carry Clarke in her arms across the large room to the double doors. From there she moved with practiced blind grace through the halls of the tower.
The blonde continued with her kisses the entire way to their bedroom, sometimes moving away from Lexa's bruised lips to pepper her neck in sweet little marks that had Lexa's hands holding the blonde tighter to her chest.
"If you're not careful we might not make the bed" Lexa warned playfully.
Clarke chuckled and moved back in Lexa's arms. Her hands cupped the back of Lexa's neck, her nails just digging in in a way that had Lexa's skin tingling.
"That has never stopped us before, commander" Clarke husked stroking her thumb beneath Lexa's right eye.
Lexas eyes closed feeling it doodle around her face. She smiled knowing the design Clarke was tracing on her skin. It was the one she'd worn when they first met. When they battled. When they first kissed. One she might soon wear again.
A pain entered her heart quickly and she eroded it even quicker by taking Clarke quickly into their room to their bed. Clarke was smiling as Lexa set her carefully over the furs and began gently peeling off her clothes. With every piece of flesh exposed creating a chill on Clarke's skin Lexa pressed a warm kiss to fight the cold away. Each one had Clarke shuddering beneath her. And wriggling to fight off the building frustration in herself. Lexa moved slower in return, lengthening the torture. By the time Lexa had Clarke's pants off the blonde was a tumbling mess already.
"Lexa" she whimpered holding her hands out to the brunette.
Lexa looked her over, eyes stopping calmly on clarke's belly before locking with the blonde's. She smiled at Clarke's silent demand to come closer and heeded her lover's wants immediately. Lexa settled on her side next to the blonde, grinning like a lovestruck teenager when Clarke immediately clenched a fist into her shirt and yanked her closer. Taking the hint Lexa carefully climbed over the blonde, resting herself happily in her usual place of protection over their bump. Her body warmed feeling the heat of their child lying between them. And she smiled down at her sky princess when their baby moved. Clarke chuckled seeing the awestruck twinkle that always reached Lexa's eyes when she felt her child kicking.
"He missed you" she husked reaching for Lexa's hand so she could press it over the small bump.
Lexa's fingers splayed out over Clarke's stomach and her smile only grew warmer feeling her child move happy and safe beneath her hand. She loved it when Clarke told her little things like that.
"As I missed him" she breathed back darting her eyes to Clarke's smile again. She bent down after to kiss the blonde, "And you, ai niron"
Clarke's smile tasted like the heat of summer when Lexa kissed her. Their lips moved slow at first, pleasantly languid, before Clarke's hips moved up against lexas stomach, pushing a soft moan from the commander.
Quickly Lexa felt her clothes being torn from her back. And her hands being pressed to her favourite soft warm flesh. And her lips grazing sweet skin that shook and gasped pleasantly beneath her eager touch. Lexa's heart was on fire with the love she felt encompassing her in that bed with Clarke.
"Ai hod yu in" she whispered continually through the night, never quite sure Clarke could hear her over her own gasps and moans.
Lexa didn't mind. She knew Clarke felt it anyway.
*quick suthors note*
Guys im in archive of our own! Under the same username and profile pic. Check me there for new stories and whatnot :D