Clarke was glaring. She felt all hot and bothered walking around the woods in her condition. It wasn't the smartest idea. She should be relaxing, taking it easy in her bed. Instead she'd been lured away from the comfort of her room and made to walk into the woods outside Polis with a promise of a surprise. Right now Clarke wasn't interested in any surprises unless they came in the form of something comfortable to sit on and an apple or two for her to ease the cravings. Still, her curiosity made her walk on. She was interested to know what Lexa was so eager to show her. But that didn't stop her cursing under her breath at Lexa the farther they walked. It was probably only the good scenery keeping her mood level.
And by scenery, she meant the view of the commander's ass as she walked easily in front of her blonde, leading her to this mysterious surprise she kept smiling about.
After another half hour walking and staring longingly at Lexa's rear, Clarke growled impatiently. She'd hoped they'd have arrived by now to wherever it was they were going to. Eventually her impatience won against her curiosity.
"Lexa, I swear if you don't tell me where we're going this second, I'm gonna take that sword you love so much and stick it right up your-"
"Here!" Lexa rushed grinning at the disappointed look Clarke gave at not being able to finish her threat.
She moved back to her blonde and closed her fingers around Clarke's. She squeezed them gently before she began ushering her off the track they'd been following. Clarke followed the brunette slowly. Her eyes moved around them, constantly on the lookout. It was a bad habit she'd picked up off Lexa. Who for some reason right now looked less concerned with possible danger and much more excited about getting Clarke to walk towards a large pile of rocks. Clarke frowned at them and squeezed Lexa's hand again.
"Where are we?" She asked her curiously. When she looked around them again she spied a few of Lexa's guards hiding in the trees watching them both closely. After her initial fright it made her frown. She and Lexa had never had an escort on their private journeys before. Lexa had been protection enough.
"We are where you asked to be, Clarke" Lexa replied ignoring the questions in Clarke's eyes looking back at her to help the blonde over the stones they were now climbing.
Clarke set aside her building concern for Lexa's guard and Lexa's obvious try at ignoring their presence. She cautiously moved over the stones with hands reaching out and holding tightly to Lexa when it felt like she might slip. Lexa held her firmly. She wouldn't let her sky princess fall. Her hand brushed Clarke's belly when she let the blonde move past her.
Or him, she thought smiling when her baby kicked out beneath the palm sliding around it's mother's stomach.
"Although I'm expecting another cryptic answer.." Clarke panted wincing to herself as she stopped and stretched her sore back muscles, "How much farther is this place?"
She looked back behind them to the woods where somewhere long ago they'd left their horses. She didn't understand why they'd abandoned them in the first place. But at least now she knew why Lexa had shown no concern for leaving them untied in the wild.
Clarke looked around again and spotted more of Lexa's warriors blended into the trees. She started to speak out about it when she spotted Octavia grinning down at her from the branches of the one closest to her.
Lexa quickly moved around her and took both her hands.
"Not far" she promised walking backwards with a reassuring smile she hoped would tempt Clarke to carry on.
Clarke looked from her still grinning warrior friend and down to her sore feet. She knew she shouldn't be walking on them. At all.
She sighed tiredly, "Lexa-"
"Please, Clarke" Lexa brushed her fingertips affectionally over the blonde's cheek, "I can carry you if you feel you cannot walk"
Clarke smiled at the impossibility of the offer. And her heart jumped fondly for it. Lexa, her knight without armour.
Lexa smiled too, "You have shown such strength in carrying our child. But I see your pain too. I know it keeps you up at night. I know it hurts to walk because it's heavy. I wish I could carry the burden so you wouldn't have to"
Clarke reached out and stroked Lexa's face, "I know"
Lexa's head rolled into Clarke's palm. She inhaled deeply and brushed her lips against Clarke's wrist. Then she took her hand down to hold whilst they continued their walk. Clarke took a deep breath to ready herself before starting after Lexa. She told herself to ignore Octavia's whistling to the other warriors behind them, and then the almost silent tread of many feet following her and Lexa.
"I recall you complaining of your pregnancy aches" Lexa began to distract the blonde.
She lead Clarke towards the rock wall ahead of them, stopping by the almost hidden fissure running through it. Through the gap they could just make out the flicker of light coming from inside. Clarke stared at it and nodded.
"And I recall you telling me to suck it up" she countered back flitting her eyes to her girlfriend.
Lexa flushed a light red.
"I didn't.. quite use those words"
"Sorry," Clarke apologised sarcastically, "Your exact words were.." She eyed Lexa with a smile before she pulled on her best impression of the commander, "Try to relax and ignore it, Clarke. I'm trying to deal with the clans. And right now they are more important than your aching"
Lexa stared at her lover, mouth opening and closing a few times with nothing to say. She couldn't deny it. She had said that. Even though at the time she'd known Clarke had only said because it was late and she was trying to get them both to bed. Clarke grinned victoriously watching Lexa struggle to find a way out of the hole she'd dug herself. She even gave a light laugh hearing Octavia snigger somewhere close by.
The commander turned her head to glare into the trees before she returned her attention to Clarke.
"I am sorry" Lexa spoke earnestly, "But now I would like to make amends"
She nodded her head towards the fissure, indicating their destination was inside the rocks. Clarke eyed the darkness of it warily but followed Lexa regardless. She trusted she was safe. With their 'secret' guard how could she not be? Besides she knew Lexa wouldn't willingly put her or their child in danger.
"Take note, kid" she huffed as she squeezed into the rocks after the commander, "If you're ever as annoyingly mysterious as your mom, I'm disowning you"
She heard Lexa give an amused chuckle, "I thought mystery was what attracted you to me" she teased as she put her hand on Clarke's head to safe guard it from the sharp rocks jutting from the low ceiling by the cave's mouth.
Clarke ducked when instructed and tapped Lexa's hand gently as she rose to her full height again.
"You should be well aware by now that I'm just here for the free earth tours, Heda" she teased Lexa straight back and moved to step smirking past the commander.
She jumped a little when Lexa span her around all of a sudden to grab and kiss her.
Clarke moaned softly. Her heart bumped excited in her chest. Even her baby thumped a kick into her ribs, maybe playing in time with her pulse. Lexa continued to kiss her. Her lips pressed warmly while her hands moved slowly to remove Clarke's jacket. The blonde let her remove the garment and eagerly moved against her lover for more. She'd missed feeling Lexa this close. So much so that she didn't care at all for the warriors outside that could probably hear everything that was happening inside. Lexa certainly didn't give a damn about them. She held Clarke as if she were the only other person in the world. And Clarke loved it.
"I have a surprise for you, niron" Lexa husked moving her kisses slowly down Clarke's neck. Clarke tipped her head back and bit on her lip. Her thoughts chased wildly with hopeful ideas of this surprise.
Lexa continued her trip down Clarke's front, kissing over her thin shirt, chest to stomach, kneeling and holding Clarke's sides as she got lower and lower.
"For you" she said eyes glimmering up at her excited blonde. Lexa looked down again and held their precious bump in her hands, "And you" she told it kissing it too.
Clarke grinned feeling it's usual kick back under Lexa's hands. And as usual Lexa beamed at the swollen flesh like it was the best thing in the world.
"C'mon then" Clarke said after the seconds stretched out. She knew Lexa would kneel there all day given the chance, "We're both eager to know what nomi's got for us"
Lexa switched her attention back to the blonde and Clarke felt her heart flutter hopelessly at the loving look Lexa gave her. Lexa stared surprised and endeared. She'd been called many things in her life, but never had she expected to be called that. Lexa's heart flew imagining being called it for the rest of her life by her child. She beamed at her girlfriend, smiling the happiest Clarke had ever seen her smile.
The blonde grinned back at her but raised her brow in question. Lexa nodded to her and took both her hands.
"This way, hodnes"
The commander kissed their bump again and rose to her feet. She missed the worry coming to Clarke's face at hearing the warriors being suddenly loud outside. She stood closer and reached for the blonde's hips to turn her away from going to investigate. Lexa's hands covered Clarke's eyes after and she began slowly steering them deeper into the cave, following the candles she'd had Octavia light for them earlier that day. Clarke laughed nervously but allowed Lexa to lead her.
More loud noise echoed into the cave behind them, and Clarke's fingers clutched the front of Lexa's shirt. Lexa gently hushed her. She shot an irritated look to the mouth of the cave. Her eyes locked on Octavia's as the younger woman climbed swearing loudly into the cave after them. Octavia was backing out mouthing an apology the second she saw the anger on her Heda's face.
Lexa fought an irritated breath and gently stopped Clarke from wandering any further forward. She looked around at the space in front of them nervously before she lifted her hands from Clarke's face.
"Surprise" she whispered with a kiss to Clarke's neck.
Clarke's eyes were still closed. She'd been so busy thinking over why Lexa's guards were surrounding the cave entrance. She felt Lexa whisper in her ear again. When Lexa squeezed her hips Clarke's eyes opened finally and she took a small step forward. She didn't see Lexa's gift until her feet were suddenly ankle deep in warm water.
The blonde looked down in surprise at the natural pool she was standing in and stared at her reflection. She faintly heard Lexa chuckle at the look of delight she gave the water. Clarke rolled her toes in the warmth, moaning happily when it burned against the ache in her feet. Then she remembered to look up and thank Lexa, stopping short suddenly when she turned her head back to find the commander of clans already half undressed in the candlelight beside her.
Clarke swallowed as she watched Lexa's hands unbutton her shirt. She'd watched the commander undress so many times over the years. In haste, in tease, in exhaustion. Clarke had also had her fair share of tearing the fabric from Lexa's back. And every single time watching simply blew her breath away. Not because Lexa's body was borderline godly. Not because she was stunningly beautiful. But because she was Clarke's. And Clarke's alone.
Lexa made Clarke jealous of herself sometimes.
"Are you going to watch or are you going to let me undress you?"
Lexa smirked when Clarke blushed at being caught staring. The blonde looked down to her own clothes and nodded. Lexa came over to her and gently began peeling the layers off the blonde until she too was stood naked opposite her. She saw Clarke's eyes run over her again, hungrily taking in the length and muscle of her warrior's body. And then flicker away to her own. Lexa lifted a finger beneath Clarke's chin when she recognised the flash of disappointment in them.
"You are so beautiful" she whispered sealing her mouth over Clarke's. She could feel the blonde frowning.
"Even though I'm fat and moody?" Clarke questioned back. Lexa softly chuckled.
"Even more so" she answered smiling honestly. Lexa leant away and held Clarke's face in her hands, "You have never been more beautiful, Clarke"
Clarke beamed at her before she leant in. Lexa let Clarke kiss her, let her get away with her oh so torturous kisses that always had Lexa begging for more. Until finally her lungs and her willpower could take no more.
"We should get you in the water" she mumbled quietly the second Clarke's lips left her own so they could both breathe. She licked them already craving more.
"Or else...?" Clarke smirked knowing that tight expression Lexa was trying to keep from her.
"The water is more comfortable for your back than this stone floor" Lexa answered back seriously.
Clarke met the dark green of her eyes watching her desperately. Lexa wanted Clarke to enjoy her gift. Maybe the rest could come after. Clarke nodded. She could wait.
She allowed Lexa to take both her hands and direct her to the edge of the pool. There Lexa let her go so she could slip into the water first. It was hot. Perfect for what she intended for her princess. Lexa turned once she found her footing and reached up to grip Clarke's hips. Clarke looked down at her unsure. Lexa had always been able to lift her before. But that was when she weighed less. She eyed her large belly before she glanced back to the other woman. Lexa simply watched her back without reservations for her ability to help Clarke into the water.
"Don't drop me" Clarke sighed and let Lexa do it.
The other woman smiled and stretched up to wrap her arms around the back of Clarke's thighs. She locked them tightly and lifted the pregnant woman gently off the ground, taking all her weight easily. She smiled at Clarke's scared gasp and her immediate reach for Lexa's shoulders. She kissed their bump as she turned to ease Clarke into the water.
"I would never drop either of you" she promised the blonde as she gently set Clarke down, "You're far too precious to me"
Clarke smiled and closed her eyes as her body inch by inch was lowered into the water against Lexa's. The water around them was hot and eagerly enveloped her sore body. Soothing it just right. She tipped her head back when Lexa placed her onto her feet and moaned.
"God, that's good!"
"I know what's better" Lexa smirked moving silently through the water to stand at Clarke's back.
She kissed Clarke's neck before she began gently massaging her back beneath the water. The blonde's body moved pliantly back into Lexa's after just a few digs of her fingers into her knotted shoulders. Lexa grinned finding her blonde sinking against her moaning with the massage. She chuckled to herself and continued her little kiss trail of Clarke's neck. She drew a map with her lips up the back of it and then down to the faded jaguar scars on Clarke's left shoulder while her fingers softly rubbed and unknotted the tension from the rest of the blonde's body.
"Enjoying yourself, Clarke?" She murmured in her ear after some time had passed.
"Hmm.." Clarke moaned deeply causing Lexa to smile, "The baby likes it too" she mumbled sleepily.
Lexa grinned and moved a hand forward through the water to hold the bump over Clarke's hand.
"It's good to know you both enjoy my company so much" she whispered kissing Clarke's temple.
Clarke scoffed, "Don't let it go to your head" she weakly joked leaning heavier into the commander.
Lexa chuckled again and kissed clarke's shoulder. She went back to her massage of Clarke's back, making sure to diligently work out every last knot until Clarke was soft and loose beneath her hands again. It took some time. It worried her how stressed Clarke's body seemed to have become in the last few weeks.
She gently took her hands away from Clarke's back when she was done and stroked the blonde's face. Clarke twitched a little having fallen asleep beneath Lexa's soothing touch. Lexa smiled to herself and wrapped her arm around the blonde before she began moving them back through the water so she could lean against the wall with Clarke pressed to her. She reached out of the pool a moment to move her sword closer should she need it. Her blonde stirred momentarily when she sank down again and Lexa shushed her calmly and rubbed her belly soothingly until she was coaxed back to sleep. Then Lexa held her lover, eyes sweeping over her in the dim candlelight. She was trying not to but her mind was memorising every inch of Clarke's face while it whizzed with worry once more.
Lexa breathed deeply to herself and closed her eyes to concentrate. Just because she had taken a break from Polis did not mean she had taken a break from being Heda.
Lexa looked to the water and stared down at the light reflecting off it while she thought. In her head it was a crimson color. It made her shiver.
"I carry the burden" she whispered staring deeply. Her mind was filled with the latest kru reports. None had born good news. Death was filling her lands. Random attacks were becoming much more organised, strategised. And worse they were coming closer to Polis. Closer to Lexa and her family.
Maybe she should know, Lexa wondered glancing to the sleeping blonde against her chest. Abby's advice bubbled around in her head momentarily. The healer had warned her to tell Clarke. Told her she'd find out anyway. And maybe she had. Maybe that was why Clarke had felt so tense.
Lexa held Clarke tighter to her chest, clinging almost desperately to the blonde. She didn't want to admit it but she was scared. Very scared. And she knew had she walked the last decade alone, without Clarke and the prospect of beginning a family, she would be fearless right now. As she had when she'd taken up the flame. She wish she could be again. Because the thought of not being able to protect her family, of not being able to keep them both safe, that terrified her.
"Hmm" Clarke grunted in her sleep after a while and she wriggled in Lexa's arms.
Lexa looked down at her and knew immediately what was wrong. She moved her hand to press against the blonde's stomach, looking for the kicking child.
"What have I told you?" She whispered down to it. She brushed her thumb up and down against the bump, "Be patient, little one. Let your mother sleep" Lexa's eyes casted back to the rings under Clarke's eyes. She felt guilty while she added, "She rarely gets that chance"
And Lexa knew she's the reason why. When she failed to sleep so too did clarke.
The bump thumped under her fingers, almost as if the child was talking back to her.
"I can see you have your mother's stubbornness already" she sighed when the baby kicked again, harder, making Clarke cry out a little. Lexa looked down at the bump sternly while the blonde stirred in her arms, "And her temper"
"He gets that from you" Clarke groggily mumbled shifting up in Lexa's hold. She pulled Lexa's arms away from herself and turned to stand and hold the other woman to her chest. Lexa sighed back at her.
"Maybe he gets it from us both" she conceded wrapping her arms around her lover. This time when the bump kicked Lexa felt it hard against her stomach. It even made her wince.
"That's what you get" Clarke chuckled leaning back to smile up at Lexa. She stretched on her toes and Lexa, already knowing what Clarke wanted, dipped her head forward so Clarke could rest her own against it without straining herself.
The pair let out a content breath as their foreheads touched.
"Lexa kom trikru" Clarke murmured to herself. Lexa smiled and nudged her nose against Clarke's.
"Sha, Wanheda?"
"I told you to stop calling me that" Clarke quietly growled at her but Lexa wasn't afraid. She lifted her head a little, bringing her lips close to just brush Clarke's nose. Clarke was immediately calmed. Much to her irritation and secret delight.
"I've been thinking.." the blonde began a little nervously, "About what to call him"
Lexa looked down at her eager to hear her suggestions.
"I have too" she admitted.
Clarke nodded at her.
"You first, heda"
"No" Lexa argued in a soft voice, "You are carrying this beautiful thing" she cupped Clarke's belly tenderly, "You would honour me by naming my child, Clarke. As you honour me by carrying him"
Clarke stretched up at Lexa's words and delicately kissed her. She was surprised Lexa was giving her the task of naming their baby.
"Gus?" She whispered the first suggestion, deciding to get the worst out now. As she expected Lexa tensed up in her arms and began shaking her head.
Clarke looked at her sympathetically, "Lexa, it was a long time ago"
"It was still a betrayal" Lexa defended in a quiet snarl. It had been twelve years but the pain of Gus' actions still hurt her.
"He did what he thought was right" Clarke tried softly, "Just like you. Just like me"
Lexa shook her head, mind already made. She would not let Clarke, nor anybody else, persuade her to forgive her old mentor and guard. No matter how true his intentions had been. If he'd had succeeded with his plan back then, Lexa would have no doubt killed the blonde who would become her one love. She could not forgive that.
"No, Clarke"
Clarke sighed and relented the argument.
"How about Wells? After my friend"
Lexa's eyes shone a little sympathetically back at her this time. She remembered the nightmares Clarke had suffered with regarding this friend. The ones that haunted her still on occasion. They'd even visited his grave together. Lexa knew the guilt and shame Clarke forever carried over the death of her best friend. It had crushed her. Sometimes it still did. Though Lexa understood the reason behind Clarke's wanting to name the child after the dead boy, it wouldn't be fair to Clarke.
"I don't think you could bear that" she whispered gently to the blonde.
Clarke nodded. She guessed she couldn't. Lexa hesitated speaking while Clarke stared in deep thought at the wall. She wasn't sure how the blonde would react to her own suggestion for the baby's name. She worried Clarke would hate it.
"I.. I thought-"
"How about Anya?" Clarke interrupted her suddenly, "If he's a she?"
Lexa's expression dipped. She hadn't thought of girls names at all. But her eyes shone hopefully with Clarke's suggestion. Clarke smiled knowing she'd chosen right.
"Clarke.." Lexa laughed and shook her head at her own speechlessness, "I don't know what to say"
Clarke stroked Lexa's face. She smiled softly at her, "Say yes. She would want that, Lexa. Who knows, if Anya had lived she may have been in position to play godmother"
Lexa shot her a confused look and clarke chuckled, "Doesn't matter"
Lexa brought her closer and kissed her brow, "I don't think you and I would be together if Anya had lived. I'm fairly certain she would have persuaded me off this path"
"I don't" Clarke answered back confidently, "Anya cared about you. I think she would have wanted you to live your life the way you wanted. Not the way you were told or trained to"
Lexa was quiet for the longest time before she reached down beneath the water to their bump and caressed her unborn child.
"Anya would be proud if our child bore her name" She mumbled quietly.
Clarke looked up at her hopefully. Lexa smiled.
"Little Anya" she mused enjoying the way it sounded. Clarke beamed at her.
"Little Anya" she agreed kissing Lexa's cheek. Her arms wrapped around Lexa's neck and she kissed Lexa's shoulder before she rested her head against it. Lexa's arms held her close and Clarke listened closely as the commander's heart beat her happiness under her ear.
"What if it's a boy?" Lexa thought aloud breaking the peace. Her own suggestion was balancing on the tip of her tongue again.
Clarke simply groaned back.