Summary: Reno will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. Cloud finds this out the hard way. A prequel of sorts to 'Snapshots.'
A/N: When nearly a month had passed by without a single review, I was convinced that no one was following the story. Then when the reviews started trickling in, I thought, 'Gosh, there are people reading this fic after all. This means I'd better get off my lazy bum and start writing again.' So, for all of you who are reading (and hopefully reviewing) this story, you have my sincerest thanks.
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII characters belong to SquareSoft, now known as SquareEnix… I think. Whatever the case, I don't own them.
Tactics
A Final Fantasy VII Fanfiction by ntc
Mission objective: Cohabitation with Cloud
"So you're the thief who stole my Materia."
Bleary-eyed from too many nights of drinking himself into an inebriated stupor, it took a few moments for the irate ninja girl's face to swim into focus. When it did, Reno was only able to offer an intelligent reply of 'Eh?' and belch.
The Wutaian teenager gagged at the alcohol-laced stench that wafted up into her nostrils and hurriedly backed out of range. Being right in someone's face greatly increased the intimidation factor but it did have its disadvantages. "Those Materia you took from Cloud belong to me," the girl declared, voice now nasally as she spoke through a pinched nose. "He was merely keeping them safe for me."
''Huh." Reno's monosyllabic grunt somehow managed to convey just how utterly unconvinced he was.
Hearing the loud but silent sarcastic 'Yeah, right' in Reno's tone, the brunette brandished her massive shuriken threateningly. "It's true! Now are you going to hand them over or do I have to make you?"
From the fact that the girl was able to sneak past the guards and disable his self-customized home security system to accost him in his own apartment, Reno could tell that a direct confrontation with her would spell more trouble than it's worth. Therefore, he abandoned his initial plan of treating her like another piece of his furniture and forced himself to converse with her in an almost civilized manner. ''For your information, Cloud gave those Materia to me," Reno growled, his brain conveniently screening out superfluous details of the underhanded means by which that came about. And never mind the fact that he had absolutely no intention of, as Cloud's condition dictated, keeping a mile between himself and the blond.
Eyes bugging out in disbelief, outrage and maybe even a tiny measure of hurt, the ninja girl gasped, "He... WHAT?!"
Reno arched an eyebrow at the vehemence of her reaction. "You heard me. You can ask Cloud himself if you don't believe me."
The girl swayed on her feet, as if Reno's words were physical blows that had hit her like a sledgehammer. However she quickly snapped shut her sagging jaw and glared skeptically at the bored-looking redhead. "Hah! Nice try, Shinra scum. Do you really think I'm so gullible as to fall for such a ridiculous lie? Why would he just hand over something like that to you of all people? It makes no sense whatsoever!''
Reno shrugged. "Think about it. Why else would I still have those Materia with me? If Cloud wanted to claim back what's his, he would have done so already.''
A trace of doubt crept into the shorthaired brunette's visage. "Huh... Well, I bet he must've left you with some substandard, worthless Materia that wouldn't even be fit for... for..." The girl found herself unable to focus on what she was saying as her eyes became riveted on the glowing orb that the Turk was casually tossing from one hand to another. She swallowed loudly and pointed with a trembling finger. "That... That can't possibly be a—"
"Summon Materia," Reno finished with gloating smile. ''A Bahamut one, to be precise."
Face taking on a ripe-plum shade of purple and chest heaving in the first stages of hyperventilation, she excused herself to retreat to the balcony, where she proceeded to shriek out a long string of Wutaian obscenities and curses which was occasionally punctuated with Cloud's name.
The pinch of guilt Reno felt at having turned one of Cloud's comrades against him lasted a whole two seconds before his mind began brainstorming ways to turn the situation to his advantage. The devious smile on his face widened to the extent that, if anyone had been around to witness it, was liable to get him hauled away in a straitjacket and locked up in a padded cell.
When the girl returned, she was noticeably calmer though her cheeks were still flushed from the extensive hollering. "I've decided that it doesn't matter at all whether that brooding blond bugger has given you those Materia or not. I'm taking them back, even if I have to pry them away from your stiff and bloated corpse."
"Before we resort to violent solutions, allow me to propose a mutually beneficial arrangement."
Yuffie stared at the disheveled Turk with even more heightened distrust. What evil scheme was the dirtbag trying to pull with that pretentious, sophisticated speech? She smelled a rat. And not just any rat, but one that had died of food poisoning, been gnawed on by a dozen rabid dogs and left to rot under the sun for at least three days while serving as a breeding ground for flies. Eeew... Yuffie wrinkled her nose in distaste. Curse her overly vivid imagination and its capacity to conjure up mental images capable of disgusting herself.
Reno mistook her silence as an indication to continue. "I can give you this summon Materia. Not just this one but the others as well."
The avid Materia-hunter could not suppress the shiver of anticipated delight at having such awesome destructive power at her disposal. She would never ever misuse that power of course (and she was quite miffed at Cloud for quoting that as an excuse for keeping them away from her), but there was little harm done in flattening a hill or two for practice, right? Such power... And the Turk was going to hand it all over to her just like that? If there was one thing Yuffie had learnt from her seventeen years of life, it was that if something is too good to be true, it usually is. "So what's the catch?" she asked suspiciously.
"This Bahamut summon Materia can be yours in exchange for some information regarding Cloud. Whad'ya say to—"
"Whoa, hold just a minute!" interjected the Wutaian ninja in an affronted tone. "I don't know what gave you the wrong impression, buster, but Yuffie Kisaragi never sells out her friends!"
Slipping comfortably into the role of devil incarnate, Reno reminded her, "A friend who gave away your stuff without your permission."
"What do you mean by... Oh," Yuffie caught herself in time. "Yeah, you're right about that. Look, although nothing would please me more now than to tar-and-feather Cloud and dunk him in a Mako pool, that still isn't reason enough for me to side with you against him. No offense, but I trust you only as far as I can throw that lecherous tub of lard Don Corneo; which is to say, not very far at all."
"But I'm not asking for your trust," Reno argued.
Yuffie frowned in puzzlement. "Then what do you want?"
Feeling a migraine coming on, Reno started to massage his temples. Dealing with the excitable brunette was a great strain on his patience, and he wasn't a patient man to begin with. "Haven't you been listening to a word I said?" he snapped. "What I want is a little information about Cloud, that's all."
Yuffie gnawed her lower lip in indecision, her conflicting desires clashing. "What type of information are we talking about here?" she asked hesitantly.
"Oh, nothing too personal. Just simple stuff like where he lives, what he does with his time, so on and so forth."
The brunette gave him a strange look. "Why do you want to know stuff like that for?"
"You're forgetting that I'm the one asking the questions here," Reno bit out in an attempt to change the subject.
Yuffie tilted her head to one side as she studied him curiously. "You're stalking him, aren't you?"
"That's more than enough questions from you, missy!" Reno bellowed, desperately hoping that his expression didn't resemble guilt nailed to a wall. Damn, he was being a bit too obvious, wasn't he? "Do we have a deal or not?"
"Let me get this straight. You'll give me that Materia in your hand if I just tell you where Cloud lives." At the Turk's affirmative nod, she extended a hand out towards him demandingly. "Then you can hand it over right now. Cloud is living at Seventh Heaven. That's Tifa's bar, in case you're wonder—"
"I know that already!" Reno shot the female ninja an angry glare. Why else had he been poisoning his liver these past few days with excessive amounts of alcohol? The red-haired Shinra employee had been racked with endless thoughts of self-recrimination ever since he had unwittingly driven Cloud straight into the arms of one of his main competitors for the blond's affections.
It had been more bearable when Cloud had been living alone. At least, then, the chances of the blond swordsman succumbing to the charms of that pugilistic tomboy had been minimal. Now that the two of them actually live together, there's no telling how much that bud of a romantic relationship between them would develop. And if Reno had any say in it, he would charge in there and incinerate that little bud with a flamethrower, spray it with toxic levels of weedkiller and salt the earth so that nothing would ever grow again.
"If you know that already, why are you still asking me, you illogical moron!" Yuffie yelled back, arms akimbo and glowering furiously. Hell, the last guy who raised his voice against her ended up with a five-foot pole sticking right up where the sun didn't shine. The Turk was being let off too easily this time.
"I was kinda hoping that you'd know where Cloud would choose to live after he moves out of that bar." Reno's look of disappointment melted away as a thought occurred to him. "But you can always find out, right?"
Yuffie blinked in surprise. "What makes you think he would move out?"
Reno only smiled.
xXxXx
"Remind me again how I got roped into doing this."
"Because we're partners, and this is what partners do— Help each other."
"Reno, I'd take a bullet for you any day. You know I would." Reno's said partner-in-crime released a long, suffering sigh. "But there are limits as to what I'm willing to do for you."
Reno looked up from his task of planting a spy mic in the telephone receiver. "I'm merely asking you to install some surveillance equipment. No biggie. You've done this hundreds of times before, so what's the problem?"
"I don't know..." muttered the taller, tanned man. "This is just..."
"Criminal?" Reno snorted. "Oh, come now, that's practically our job description."
"I was about to say 'creepy', 'psychopathic' and 'perverse'. But yes, it is that too," said Rude as he angled the camera that was installed in the ventilation duct linked to the living room. "Am I the only sane one around here who sees how very wrong this is? What are you trying to do, Reno?"
"Hey, what's so wrong about what we're doing now? And it is NOT perverse! I didn't ask you to install anything in the bathroom, did I?"
"Only because you know I would refuse. As surprising as it might sound, I do have my principles."
"You and your damned principles," grumbled Reno, sounding almost disappointed. "Besides, there's no harm done here. This is an empty apartment. No one lives here."
"Yet," stated Rude flatly.
"So? It's hardly my fault if some tenant decides to move in and have his privacy put at risk, is it?"
"And how do you know the next tenant is going to be a guy?"
The redhead waved a hand about carelessly. "Guy, gal, whatever. Are you done interrogating me yet?"
Rude sighed again. "Do you think I don't know who this next tenant is going to be? Why do you still feel the need to lie through your teeth around me? I thought we're partners."
"Even couples who have been married for years still keep secrets from each other, so I don't see why—"
"Reno, stop avoiding my question or I'll leave you to set up this whole thing on your own." In the sulky silence that followed, Rude repeated, "What are you trying to do?"
The silence stretched further, and just when Rude was about to make good his threat and leave Reno to his own devices, the redhead spoke up. "It's all part of a plan." Rude quietly nodded his head to encourage Reno to continue. "I look at him and it feels like some madman with a meat cleaver is let loose inside my ribcage, ya know. He's so sombre and dull ever since… well, you know what, that he seems to be living but half a life. The worst thing is…" At this point, Reno swallowed. "The worst thing is that he thinks he needs to be miserable; that he needs to atone for some past wrong. That's why I was so certain that he wouldn't stay with that bartender girl for long. That masochist wouldn't allow himself a chance at true happiness. And I was right."
"So, your plan is to… what? Make him happy?"
"Hah, you know what kind of a selfish bastard I am. I'm not interested in his happiness. Only my own." Reno started to squirm, seemingly embarrassed by what he was about to say. "It's just that lately, I begin to realize that his happiness is tied in quite closely with mine. Somehow, I can't be happy, knowing that he's not. What does it all mean, Rude?"
'It means that you're in love, you buffoon,' thought Rude exasperatedly. Aloud, he said, "And tapping phone lines and covertly monitoring his every move is the best plan you could come up with to achieve your goal?"
"You have a better idea?" asked Reno in a challenging tone. "I wouldn't have to resort to such drastic measures if I could get within fifty yards of that guy without him threatening to inflict grievous bodily harm on my person."
"Is it any wonder why he does that?" Despite his ingrained loyalty to his fellow Turks, Rude was still strongly sympathetic of Cloud's situation; mainly because he understood, and oft times personally experienced, the full extent his partner's insanity and capacity for mayhem and destruction. "You're going about this whole 'getting closer to him' thing the wrong way! You're making yourself a pest when what you really should be doing is to make yourself useful."
"Huh." Reno made an unimpressed sound. "So says the 40-year-old virgin who never got some."
"Who's 40 years old?" demanded Rude, cheeks heating up to such a degree that he was positive that the entire five litres of blood in his bloodstream had rushed to his face. "And who's a VIRGIN?!" The last part was bellowed out with every ounce of outrage that his bruised masculine pride could muster.
"Face it, Rude. You're in no position to give me advice on this matter."
"Whose advice might you be listening to then?" And because Rude was usually a reserved and quiet guy, he didn't follow it up with a nasty 'That tiny whisper from the deep, dark corner of your soul where the devil had set up residence because it felt so much like home?'
"Rufus's."
Rude choked. "Rufus? Rufus?! As in, our boss? You're taking advice from Rufus Shinra?"
"Duh."
"What did he… No, I don't even want to know," said Rude, suppressing a shiver. No doubt Rufus would have considered his Machiavellian principle of 'eliminate all obstacles in your path' perfectly applicable in all kinds of situations. "Look, just trust me on this, okay? Once you can convince Strife that your presence is something to be desired, rather than feared, he would come to accept you. It would take a bit of time, but you just have to be patient."
"And how do I achieve such an impossible task?" Reno actually looked as if he was seriously considering it, which caused a surge of triumph to well up inside Rude.
"Just use your imagination… No, wait, wait, forget I said that." Rude pursed his lips as the mental gears in his head started turning. "Let me think for a sec." What Rude had in mind was for Reno to do something nice for a change, and both of them were admittedly lacking in experience when it came to doing nice things.
As his period of silent contemplation stretched longer, Reno quickly voiced his impatience. "I'm growing old here, dude."
Rude resisted the urge to do something immature— such as rolling his partner with the living room carpet like a sushi and kicking him down the stairwell. He cast his eyes around the apartment (No, he was not looking around for a carpet. He was not that immature after all) and an idea came to him when he saw the kitchen. "I know what you can do," Rude murmured.
xXxXx
"You don't have to move out, you know." Tifa tried to keep her voice free from any of the desperation she felt. Cloud was leaving her again. While that in itself did not come as a surprise (with the blond swordsman being the antisocial recluse that he was), she was hoping that she could have had more time with him. "You can stay as long as you want. I really don't mind."
Cloud gave her a small, apologetic smile. A smile which failed to reach his luminescent blue eyes. "I wouldn't want to impose on you. You have a bar to operate, as well as a soup kitchen for the orphans. I would just be a burden to you if I stay."
"All the more reason for you to stay. I could always use an extra pair of hands. With you as a bouncer, most people would think twice before stirring up any trouble in my bar."
"Tifa, I've seen you wiping the floor with muscle-bound thugs twice your size. You don't need bouncers. You need standby paramedics."
"It's mainly about deterrence, Cloud. People look at you and wouldn't even dream of starting trouble; whereas I had to actually show physical evidence that starting trouble is bad for their health."
"If you find that you really need someone to fill in as a bouncer, I would do what I can to help out. Just let me know the nights when things could potentially get out of control." Cloud did not pause in his movements of packing his belongings. It was evident that he was still intent on leaving.
"Uh, yes. Of course." Tifa bit her lower lip in concealed distress. There was nothing for it except laying her heart out in the open for Cloud to steamroll over as he wished. "Please stay." She knew she shouldn't push Cloud; especially not in such matters. She knew she was setting herself up for some major hurt and disappointment. She knew, but she didn't care. "I would like you to stay." With me. The last two words remained unspoken, probably because the self-preservation instincts of her heart had decided to kick in. She didn't think she could ever recover emotionally if Cloud had turned down such a blatant request.
"You're making it sound as if I'm going somewhere far away. Don't worry. I'll still be around. My new apartment isn't very far from here." The hurried manner in which Cloud started rambling was a sure sign that the blond was trying his damnedest to change the subject and defuse the tense moment. "It's quite a nice apartment, despite its small size. Single bedroom. A reasonably-sized kitchenette…" It was obvious to Tifa that Cloud was trying to turn her down without hurting her feelings. Strangely enough, Tifa found herself feeling content over that small degree of consideration displayed by Cloud. It showed that he still cared for her, at least. Whether as a sister, a friend, or something more, only time would tell. And she would wait until he found his answer, no matter how long it took. She was a patient woman.
Cloud had pushed open the windows and was pointing towards a block of flats in the distance. "In fact, if you look straight out here, you can see…"
When Cloud suddenly trailed off into dead silence, Tifa shook out of her reverie and hastily looked at what had caused the blond to freeze. She blinked, squinted and rubbed her eyes. No, she was not imagining it. "Um, Cloud. Is that smoke I see coming out of…?"
"Reno." Cloud snarled out the name like a curse.
"Reno?" Tifa was baffled, to say the least. That was totally out of left field. "What does Reno have to do with…?"
"Excuse me, Tifa, but I have some urgent business to attend to."
Cloud was out the door in a flash and the sounds of Fenrir tearing down the streets soon followed. Tifa returned her gaze back to the window. The orange flames had spread to the upper levels. She sincerely hoped that there were sufficient fire escape routes in that place and that no one was seriously injured.
"Reno?" she asked again in wonder.
xXxXx
In retrospect, perhaps leaving the pan of oil heating up on the stove unattended wasn't a very smart move. How was he to know that cooking oil could actually burn and shoot flames up to the ceiling like a freaking geyser? So, maybe trying to put the fire out with water was another not-so-smart move. Oil floats on water— It's basic physics. Damn, why didn't they teach him that in his 'Bombs and Explosives' course?
And was it his fault that the entire building didn't have smoke sensors or even a sprinkler system? Even the fire extinguishers in the corridors were malfunctioning and way past their expiry dates. The place was a frigging death trap!
Yes, he was doing everyone a favour by exposing how inadequately equipped that apartment was. His timing was perfect too, seeing how the fire occurred at a time when most of the tenants were out working. They should give him a medal instead, for his heroic actions.
Having reached that conclusion, Reno was able to confront his work partner's dark, disapproving scowl with a stronger sense of self-righteousness. "I could have died. I should sue the pants off the manager of that building."
Rude's left eyebrow twitched. "Is that all you've got to say for yourself?"
"Well, if you insist." Reno folded his arms across his chest. "I would also like to add that none of this would have happened if it weren't for your crappy advice. Thanks to you, all that surveillance equipment which I've painstakingly installed had been reduced to a pile of ashes."
Rude felt an artery in his head throb so feverishly that it was a miracle that it didn't burst and give him a haemorrhagic stroke then and there. "My advice?! My suggestion to you was to prepare a home-cooked meal, organize a housewarming party, or anything along those lines! Anything that could prove to Strife that you could be something other than a major pain in the ass! Did you hear me mention arson at any point? Did you?"
"It wasn't arson and you know it." Reno sniffed, his head held high. "You should've taken into account my inept culinary skills. Home-cooked meal indeed! If that isn't the worst possible advice on the face of the planet, I don't know what is."
It took a lot of willpower on Rude's part to refrain from lunging at the redhead currently resting on the hospital bed. Rude calmed himself down with the thought that Reno had received his fair share of punishment already, what with the near-suffocation, third degree burns in some really sensitive regions and a singed ponytail. He was a fool for feeling any sort of sympathy for his moron of a partner earlier.
Perhaps sensing his state of aggravation, Reno decided to stop provoking him. "Hey, man, you do know that I'm grateful for your help, ya? Crappy advice aside, you did save my neck back there. I didn't think I could've escaped from that burning building alive without you."
Rude carefully kept his face expressionless; which wasn't too difficult, seeing how his ray bands kept his eyes hidden from view. "Uh, well, about that…" He was interrupted by a jingle that signaled an incoming call on his cell phone.
"Aren't you supposed to switch that thing off in the hospital?" asked Reno. "Doesn't it interfere with the operation of delicate life-support machines and stuff?"
Rude ignored him and answered the phone. "Rude here." As he listened to the person at the other end of the line, his eyes suddenly bulged. He snapped the phone shut and gesticulated wildly at Reno. "He's here!"
To Reno's credit, he didn't waste time questioning his partner and immediately took action. I.V. drips were yanked off, bed covers were flung aside and in the blink of an eye, the red-haired Turk had ducked under the bed. Approaching heavy footsteps could soon be heard and the door to his room banged open. Yup, his unexpected visitor was definitely hostile.
"Hello." An awkward pause. Then, as if for Reno's benefit (as he couldn't see anything from his vantage point from under the bed), Rude added, "A surprise to see you here, Strife."
Cloud? Whew, for a second there, Reno thought it was Rufus after his hide. Then he thought a bit more and realized that what Cloud had in mind for him most probably wouldn't have been much different from Rufus's. His survival instincts overpowered his strange, suicidal urge to jump out and flash the blond one of his rueful, and hopefully winning, grins. Maybe it would be wiser to see what was the purpose of Cloud's visit before making his presence known.
"So, the idiot still lives." Cloud's voice was deadpan.
"It would take more than the fires of hell and a collapsing building to kill him." There was a mirthless chuckle from Rude. "Unfortunately."
'Damn you, Rude, you're supposed to be on my side!' Reno fumed in silence.
After another awkward pause, Cloud asked, "Where is he?"
"He has gone out for a smoke. Don't have a clue where he could be at the moment. But where ever he is, there would be too many witnesses around for you to do what you're no doubt itching to do to him."
"Ah." Was that disappointment he heard in Cloud's voice? Reno wasn't sure whether that was a good sign or not. "If you're concerned about his safety, you would make sure that he doesn't stray across my path again. Innocent people could have been killed, Rude. You're his partner. Can't you keep him in check a little?"
"I don't perform miracles, Strife."
Cloud made another noise of frustration before turning on his heel and making his way back to the door. "Just pass on my warning to him. If he doesn't want to get hurt, he would do well to stay away from me. And trust me, he would be in a world of hurt if I ever see him again."
"If that's the case, then you shouldn't have—" Rude cut off in mid-sentence.
"What?"
"Nothing." Rude let out a sigh that Reno could easily identify as the one that usually accompanied thoughts like 'Why me?' and 'I'm way too old for this shit.' Reno never thought that he would ever hear Rude sighing like that while dealing with someone other than himself. "You're a very confusing man, Strife. Your words and your actions contradict each other."
Reno perked his ears up in an effort to make out what Cloud's response might be, but the blond remained silent. The door shut, signaling his departure.
After the sounds of thudding footsteps outside his room faded away completely, Reno crawled out of his hiding spot. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he fixed Rude with a thoughtful gaze. "What did you mean by that last sentence?"
"It's nothing that you need to concern yourself with," Rude stated, his stony face revealing nothing.
"You're hiding something from me," Reno accused.
"Damn it, Reno, just drop it already. I'm in no mood to—" The annoying ring tone of Rude's cell phone interrupted him once again. Rude was in a noticeably fouler mood this time when he answered the phone, flipping it open and barking harshly, "What now?!" After listening for a while, Rude snapped, "Loud, violent girl with bandanna creating havoc in the lobby? So deal with it! Why are you calling me about such trivial—"
However, before Rude had a chance to tongue-lash the unlucky Shinra guard on the other end of the line, Reno had snatched the cell phone from his grasp. "This is Reno. Tell Miss Kisaragi that I have another business proposition for her that she would be interested in. I'll contact her to arrange a meeting sometime. Or you can give her my contact number. Yes, I don't mind. Yes. Good."
Rude was eyeing him warily when Reno handed the phone back to him. "What are you up to this time, Reno? Do I even want to know?"
"It's nothing that you need to concern yourself with," Reno retorted, feeling a sense of childish satisfaction when Rude flushed, cussed and muttered something about needing a cigarette before storming out of the room.
In the silence of the empty room, Reno mulled over his next course of action. After the disasters that were Plan C and D, it was fortunate that he still had the highly bribable ninja girl to help him out with Plan E.
xXxXx
In the meantime, Cloud felt a sudden chill and sneezed.
(To be continued)