Vampire Chronics: CH 2
Jonny awoke in a dungeon cell. Jonny rubbed his eyes and found someone sleeping next to him. It wasn't Tex Cops.
"Mom! Mom! Help! Fireman!" Jonny shouted.
Andrew awoke and looked at Jonny. Jonny stared back at him. "What kid?" Andrew said.
"You're not Mom Cops," Jonny said.
Andrew snorted and went back to sleep.
"What's your name?" Jonny said, poking Andrew in the back.
"Nunya," Andrew said, "Nunya beesneess."
"Really? I'm Jonny."
Jonny looked around the dungeon. There were seven cells. The cells had people in them. Jonny looked into the cell next to his. There was this big muscular man in a speedo sitting on the ground. He was singing "Kumbaya." There was another person in the cell too. It was a girl with blonde hair wearing a pink miniskirt and a pink shirt. She was sort of chubby and somewhat resembled Hilary Duff. She was sitting on the opposite side of the man in the speedo.
"Hi," Jonny said.
The man in the speedo stopped singing and the girl looked at him.
"What's your name?" Jonny asked.
"I'm Bertha," the girl said.
"My name is Dwayne Johnson," the man in the speedo said.
"I'm Jonny."
Then there was this loud grumble. Jonny looked at Andrew and Bertha looked at Dwayne.
"Did you fart?" Jonny asked Andrew, "If your tummy grumbled, my mom says you should poo."
"I'm hungry," Dwayne said. "I'm hhhhuuuunnnngggrrryyyyy," he whined. "Who has any food?"
Jonny looked at Andrew. Bertha looked at Dwayne. "I have sausages," Bertha said.
"Really? Where?" Dwayne said, he started drooling.
"I love sausages," Jonny said.
Bertha lifted up her shirt to uncover her belly button.
"Those aren't sausages," Jonny said.
Bertha made this weird noise. It sounded like *pooouuuit*, and half a "little smokey" popped out of her belly button. She caught it and tossed it to Dwayne.
Jonny stared. "You can make sausages?"
Andrew turned to look. His face became a mask of worry, surprise, and fear. Dwayne sniffed the new sausage.
"It's cold," he said. But then his hunger pangs started up again, so he popped the sausage into his mouth and ate it.
"Hey man, that's gross," Andrew said.
Dwayne burped, and then made a face.
"I know that look!" Jonny said. "Your butt's grumbling!"
"What?" Bertha said.
"I gotta poo," Dwayne said. "NOW!"
"Oh no, not by me!" Bertha yelled, and backed into the corner of the cell. Dwayne crouched in the opposite corner and reached into the back of his speedo.
"Don't do it!" Jonny yelled, grabbing the bars of his cell and leaning closer.
Dwayne pulled a handful of small dark brown pellets from his pants. He pulled one from the pile, looked at it, and then- put it in his mouth. There was an uproar from Bertha and Andrew. They covered their mouthes and looked away.
"You ate poop!" Jonny said, amazed.
"What are you talking about?" Dwayne said, and ate another pellet.
"Stop it!" Bertha yelled.
"Don't get so... so... girly! It's chocolate!"
"I can't believe you're eating it," Bertha said.
"Why? It's only chocolate."
"Yeah, sure, 'chocolate'."
Dwayne walked over to Bertha and, before she could react, popped a pellet into her mouth. Bertha spit the pellet out onto the floor and turned against Dwayne.
"What do you think you're doing, you crazy crap-eating freak! What the fu-" Then she stopped. She thought for a while, and then took a pellet from Dwayne's pile. She looked it over, sniffed it, and then put it into her mouth. She chewed it slowly, and then- "Hey it is chocolate!" She said.
"You make chocolate poop?" Andrew said.
"Wow! I wish I could do that!" Jonny said jumping up and down. "Then I could eat candy all day. Just in, and out. In and out… out and in."
"Hey, shut up over there! I can't think!" a person shouted from another cell in the room.
"Wow! New guys, hey everybody look!" another voice called out.
Andrew glanced around. There were two people in every cell, except for a young woman who lay face-up on the floor in her own cell by herself.
The story continues!