A Green Monster

Edited by the extraordinary Cr00cy (go read his stuff, it makes far more sense than this madness)

Also, this is a thing now...like a full story, expect weekly-ish updates...God help us all

Note: Jaune is a few years older in this timeline/AU

Cinder Fall was a monster.

Emerald Sustrai knew this, but in truth, held somewhat softer feelings for the woman.

To her, Cinder Fall was an animal. A vicious, apex predator to be sure, but one that craved the same things all animals did. Safety and comfort.

She didn't understand the source of her comfort, but then, no one had asked her. But if she understood one thing about animals, it's that you didn't get between them and what was theirs.

Not if you wanted to stay amongst the living.

And so, Emerald began her weekly ritual of standing in front of the Arc-Fall door, trying to purge anything from her mind that might incriminate her boss...to her husband...people were weird.

She took a deep breath, steadied herself, and knocked twice. The face that answered the door was friendly, almost unreasonably friendly, with its bright blue eyes and goofy grin.

"Hey Em! How's it going?" Jaune asked, as he leaned against the door frame.

"Oh, you know, just keeping busy."

"I, um, like your new outfit?" He said, glancing down at her.

My new outfit?

She looked down at her usual outfit, one that was meant to draw eyes places other than her hands, and realized what he meant. She had made a habit of changing into something a bit more...conservative, before coming over in the past.

She mentally shrugged. Damage done.

It's not like I can use my Semblance on him now.

"I was, uh...hiking. It's a new hobby." She lied.

"Cool." He accepted easily, stepping back and holding the door open. "Come on in and have a seat, I'll go grab Cindy."

"Thanks." I'll never get used to this.

She made her way to the living room and settled on the couch, sitting opposite of what she'd learned was 'Cinder's chair.'

Black leather couch…shocker.

She was quick to stand when Cinder entered the room, despite Jaune waving for her to remain seated.

"Ma'am." She greeted.

"Cinder." She corrected with a glace at Jaune, motioning for her to take a seat as she found her own. "How are you Emerald?"

"I'm well Cinder. I have an update about the situation at the…office, like you asked." She tried.

Cinder nodded absently. "Yes?"

Emerald coughed and shot a glance towards Jaune, happily resting on his own plush, brown recliner. "We uh, found out where the water was coming from and-"

"Fascinating." Cinder cut her off, eyes scanning over her, before narrowing. "Emerald, that is an…adventurous outfit."

Uh oh.

"Yeah, she started hiking recently apparently! Surprised me too, I always thought she was a city girl." Jaune offered.

"Hiking? That must be quite a lot of work. My and doesn't she look thirsty? Jaune, could you be a dear and grab our resident 'hiker' some water?"

Oh fuck.

"No, no, no! I'm fine!" She blurted out, leaning forward out of her seat.

Cinder tsked. "Nonsense dear, you look positively parched."

Jaune smiled and motioned for her to sit as he stood. "It's just water Em, I'll be right back."

"Thank you dear, take your time." Cinder encouraged.

Emerald's eyes followed him in silent horror as he merrily left her to her doom, Cinder's gaze boring into her. As soon as he cleared the room, she snapped back to the dark-haired woman.

"It's not what you're thinking!"

Cinder raised an eyebrow. "You know what I'm thinking? Is that your Semblance now?"

"N-no, I just-"

"Part of me is surprised you didn't try to use your Semblance on me while you showed off, though I would have known of course."

Emerald's brow creased at that. "How-"

"Because I always know." She said, leaving no room for argument. "Though this," she made a gesture towards the green-haired girl, "cavorting around in front of me AND my husband? Might be worse."

Emerald's jaw worked up and down silently for a moment, sweat trickling down her forehand. "I-"

"Got the water!" Jaune announced, as he re-entered the room, delivering it with a flourish. "Here you go Em."

"T-thanks."

"No problem!" He said, as he walked back over to his chair. "What where you guys talking about? Water in the office? Like a leak?"

"Precisely dear." Cinder answered, staring Emerald down.

She winced. Ok, I probably could have been a bit more inventive with that one.

He shrugged. "I can take care of it for you, no need to hire someone."

"That's ok!" Emerald rushed out. "We've got a guy!"

"Are you sure? I'm pretty handy."

Cinder patted his arm a gave him a warm smile. "I know dear, but I think that this was caused by lack of proper maintenance, and I simply insist that people clean up their own messes. Isn't that right Emerald?"

The tan girl nodded numbly.

"Well ok, if you're sure…"

"Certain, my knight. After all, this should be taken care of by…"

"Tomorrow!" Emerald snapped out, sitting on the edge of her seat.

"Excellent." Cinder nodded, before turning to Jaune and motioning to Emerald. "Dear, look at how stressed she is."

He frowned. "You ok Em?"

"Great! Never better! Fantastic!"

Cinder shook her head slowly. "Poor thing's a mess. Jaune, could you go get some wine for us all? Maybe that will calm her nerves."

"Sure!" He agreed, popping up again.

"NO!" She practically shrieked, reaching out to stop him.

"Emerald." Cinder warned in a low tone, forcing her back down into her seat. "Our home is your home, and apparently, what is mine is yours."

Jaune shook his head. "Geez Em, you're frazzled. I'll grab some of the good stuff for us, won't be two shakes."

DON'T LEAVE ME!

"Oh, I think we still have a bottle of the Mistralian left dear, see if you can find it." Cinder offered as he walked towards the kitchen.

Emerald would bet every dollar she'd ever stolen that bottle didn't exist. She winced as his footsteps faded.

"Cinder, I would never-"

"Oh?" She drawled. "Do you not find my Jaune attractive?"

"No! I mean yes!"

She hummed. "So, you admit to being attracted to my husband."

This is hell. Mercury smothered me in my sleep last night, and I'm currently in hell.

"Not that I could particularly blame you of course. After all, I chose him."

She left out a sigh of relief.

Thank the Gods!

"If you hadn't acted on it, of course."

The Gods can fuck right off.

"I-"

Cinder shrugged. "Let's see how Jaune feels about it, shall we?" She turned and yelled to the other room. "Honey! Did you find the wine? Any will do if you can't find that bottle, but I've got a question for you."

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Emerald screamed internally.

"Coming!" His voice called as his footsteps echoed down the hall.

Cinder smirked at her as he entered the room, glasses and wine in hand.

"What's up babe?" He asked, concern clear on his face.

She smiled at him. "Oh, nothing life threatening…" A glance at Emerald confirmed that that was untrue. "…It's just that I've found out what's got Em so down."

He perked up. "What's that?"

Cinder gave him a sad look. "She feels unattractive."

NONONONONO!

He scoffed. "That's ridiculous, she's beautiful. I'm sure lots of guys are dying to meet her."

We're both going to die here Jaune.

The woman in red sighed. "That's what I said, but she wasn't convinced. She wanted to know what you think."

"But I just-"

Cinder shook her head. "No baby, like, would YOU date her? Hypothetically, of course."

Emerald's eyes were about to pop out of her head.

IT'SATRAPIT'SATRAPIT'SATRAPIT'SATRAP!

He colored. "Oh."

"You don't have to answer!" She assured him hurriedly.

Cinder silenced her with a hand. "Nonsense dear, it's just a simple question. This is about you after all. Jaune?"

He coughed. "Well, I uh…" His eyes met the floor.

NO! THE ANSWER IS NO! PLEASE JAUNE PLEASE!

He swallowed and looked at her. "I mean…yeah, if I hadn't met Cindy, and you had asked…I'd probably have been head over heels."

WHHHHHYYYYYYY!?

"Awww, that's so sweet." Cinder crooned at Jaune, before turning her gaze to Emerald. "Now, don't you feel better? Don't you feel more attractive?"

"Amazingly so." She squeaked.

Jaune chuckled as he set the glasses down, pouring wine for them. "Well, now that we've got the awkwardness out of the way, did you want to stay for dinner? I was just about to put something on."

"NO!" She yelped, leaping from her seat, earning a hurt look from the blond. "I mean…You've inspired me! I've got to get back out there! There's plenty of fish in the sea!"

Cinder smiled. "That's the spirit, dear."

"Thanks for everything!" She blurted out as she rushed for the door.

"Go get'em Em!" Jaune called after her as the door slammed. He shook his head and turned to his wife. "You know, I wouldn't have guessed how much of a mess she is."

She chuckled. "Yes, she has a talent for putting up facades." She hummed as she stretched in her chair. "Also, I'm hungry."

He smiled at her. "Dinner will be ready in a jiff."

She shook her head, rising from her seat and walking over to him. "But I'm hungry now."

He laughed. "I can't make it any fast-"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in ear. "But I'm hungry, Jaune."

She smirked, enjoying the way he stiffened, and how his arms wrapped around her soon after.

"Then what kind of house husband would I be if I didn't feed you?" He whispered back.

You never get between an animal and what's theirs.

Internet: Hey JJD, how popular do think this is going to be?

Me: I assume that it's going to be just Cr00cy, Demetrion, and I reading this.

Internet: Well, you know what they say about assumptions…

Me: That they make an-

Internet: It's that you were fucking wrong.

AN: As it turns out, I think that both Demetrion and Cr00cy (both heavy co-conspirators on this story - go read their stuff) are as surprised as I am that there aren't mobs of people rioting outside my house. I guess this might be my thing? Giving people things they didn't know they wanted? Jaune and Qrow bromance, rapping Winter, Casual Cinder.