YAY! Another chapter!! enjoy! -- to zintahfan -- thanks for giving me a chance to really think about my story, though it was pretty intense to read and respond to your feedback/questions!

Disclaimer: I own Aaron, and thats really about it. Thanks Stephenie Meyer, for stealing that from me... not really lol she totally is genius.

Chapter 4:

Finally I pulled myself together and got into the shower. I turned the water on warmer than usual causing a fog to build quickly on the mirror of the small bathroom. I was trembling from the cold and the fear that filled my body. I had emotionally and physically exhausted myself in that hour and a half of running. I scrubbed away the sweat from my skin and scalp, and the delicate scent of strawberries filled the shower as I took deep breaths, trying to calm my hyperactive heart.

Once I felt slightly relaxed I stepped out and toweled off, hugging the towel close to me. I took a pale hand of mine and wiped away the middle of the mirror where I could see my face reflected in the glass. The girl there wasn't me. This girl had dull eyes surround by dark shadows. Her hair seemed lifeless and bland, with a face to match. This girl didn't seem able to smile, to laugh, to enjoy life. At least the last part seemed to fit.

I changed into a pair of baggy navy sweat pants, previously Charlie's, and a warm grey knit sweater. Wandering, as if on autopilot, I went back to the bathroom I dried my hair. I tried to look deep into the girl's eyes, but I found nothing but lost dreams and a broken heart. There was no happiness or joy, just dark sadness that plagued her soul. A couple tears found their way from behind my eyelids but I quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand.

Back downstairs I made a big cup of hot apple cider. A couple days before Aaron had gotten me to buy the drink mix, and I hadn't regretted the five bucks I spent on it. I snuggled into the old couch that held the scent of Charlie. It was a mixture of evergreen trees and tobacco; both which he picked up at his job since I knew he didn't smoke.

Pulling on the burgundy afghan I grabbed the book I had left by the couch, Fever 1793. It was a depressing tale about a young girl who gets caught in an outbreak of yellow fever, and is trying to survive. Her mother nearly dies; her grandfather dies, and is left utterly alone; just how I felt. Luckily for her she got a happy ending. Her mother wasn't dead and they revived the family coffee shop and the girl's lover lived through the fever as well. What a lucky girl.

I made my self some lunch after I finished the book, even though it was nearly three o'clock. The food didn't taste like much, and the book hadn't distracted me from my ugly discovery that morning. Renee and Phil's flight should be landing around 5:00, and I was in charge of meeting them at the airport in Port Angeles. They had rented a car but I was to lead them back to the house. I was glad there wouldn't be either awkward silence or questioning the whole hour ride home.

After procrastinating and waiting for time to pass, I changed into a pair of jeans and a beaten up pair of clogs and clambered into my truck. I arrived at the airport about 4:30, so I bummed around at a nearby fishing store. A manager at the store helped me find a couple pieces of fishing equipment Charlie had wanted for Christmas.

Five o'clock came and I returned to the airport. The small plane had landed and there was Renee and Phil standing with their luggage at their sides. I walked over and gave them both meager hugs with minimal contact. I politely asked them how their flight was as I walked with them across the street to the car rental place. I left them to get their car while I went back and got my truck. The two of them exchanged humorous looks as I pulled up. I smiled meekly and got out to help them pack their car. It was a Lexus RX300, light blue.

Once they were situated I got back into the warm cab of my car and started the drive back home. There were still very few cars on the roads, and I was glad Charlie had put the chains on my truck this morning. The roads were fairly clear but the chains made me feel safer, almost invincible. I found a Christmas station on the radio in attempt to tune out my frantic thoughts. It helped me to release some of my tension, as well as my grip on the steering wheel.

Renee and Phil followed me home easily considering the lack of traffic. I pulled up to the curb in front of the house and had them park in the driveway seeing as their car was a fairly expensive rental. Charlie was home and came out to greet Renee and Phil. He gave both of them a friendly hug and grabbed a bag to carry inside. I grabbed the last bags and followed the three of them inside.

They settled down in the living room while I carried the luggage upstairs to my room where they would be staying. My mom had promised me in an email prior to their visit that the two of them weren't really physical, and that nothing wrong would happen in my bed.

When I returned downstairs, Charlie had pulled out my junior year's yearbook, and copies of my senior portrait. I smiled and waved as I made my way past them and into the kitchen. I pulled out the raw chicken Charlie had picked up for me and washed it. Once I had seasoned it how Renee and Charlie loved I got it into the over and set a timer. I made rice and cooked some fresh green beans while the chicken was in the oven.

Charlie had found the ancient leaf to the kitchen table and fitted it in the night before. I found a dark green tablecloth just big enough for the table and brought in two folding chairs Charlie had found in the coat closet. Once the chicken was releasing aromas of garlic oil, basil, and pepper through the kitchen I carved it carefully and set it out on a simple platter I scavenged from the kitchen cupboards. Once the table was set I called everyone in, and we all sat down.

Dinner was quiet on my part. I ate slowly, nodded, and meekly smiled at the right parts during Renee or Phil's stories. They talked about all the exciting games and such Phil was having, the house in Jacksonville, and all about the beach fairly close to their home. When they asked about school I told them about what I was studying, grades, and my resentment towards gym. They laughed at me, though I was completely serious.

Once everyone had finished eating I took all the dishes and washed them while they watched a baseball game on TV in the living room. I heard several shouts of joy and disappointment from the station in the kitchen. With everything cleaner than I thought possible, I had no reason to stick around in the kitchen. The aged plastic timer above the oven read almost 9:00.

I removed my apron and turned off the kitchen lights. The three of them were talking more about Phil's career and funny stories. When I walked in they smiled at me, and Renee patted the seat to her left. When I sat down she wrapped me into a big hug.

"I've missed you tons Bella. You don't know how it feels to lose such a big part of your life." She pulled back and smiled, unaware of the gravity her words held. I did know. Charlie coughed amidst the awkward silence. "Oh. Oh Bella I'm so sorry. I just forgot." She hugged me once again, tighter than before as if to make her apology more meaningful.

"Maybe it's time we all go to bed?" Charlie suggested. Both Phil and Renee nodded and got up. I gave my mom a small smile, trying to show her I had accepted her apology. I gave Phil a slightly awkward hug and he gave me a small kiss on the head. I was starting to like him more, seeing as he wasn't pushing anything and had been seemingly understanding of all my ordeals. I winced internally as I saw Phil reach out to Renee and hold her close to him as they walked upstairs.

Turning to Charlie he got up and gave me a warm fatherly hug. The two of us had gotten closer since I had first moved here, but when I realized just how badly I had been neglecting my father I felt that I couldn't lose Charlie too. "Things are going to just fine. I know she has got to be sorry about what she said. Don't worry about it." He gave me a kiss on the forehead before he went upstairs him self.

I sat downstairs waiting for everyone to finish with the bathroom upstairs before I went and changed. I had brought down a pile of clothes and my bag of toiletries and stashed them under a side table in the living room. After fluffing the pillows on the couch I pulled the familiar blankets close to me and closed my eyes. My mind was wandering all over, and I was unable to fall asleep. Charlie was snoring quietly upstairs, Renee mumbling something to Phil about how guilty she felt about what she had said, and the refrigerator was humming in the kitchen.

I focused my attention on the front window in the living room. There was the light post across the street. The voices and snoring ceased, and the only sound I could hear was the refrigerator and my gentle breathing. My eyes slowly started to close with my eyes still locked on the light post. A single black car passed the window as I closed my windows and finally fell asleep.

Soooo -- feedback yay!

My other story -- gaaah im really slow at writing. i have written a couple more chaps of this story, so i just keep asking my editor to do his job -- edit. lol. Lost in the Passion will hopefully be updated this weekend -- sincei have a 4 day weekend! YEAH:D ultimate funness. Thanks to every one for reading!

Songs in my head right now:

Time is running out, and, Apocalypse Please - Muse

Lazy Eye - Silversun Pickups

Color - Rocco Deluca & the Burden