I'd like to take a minute to thank some people. There's now a beautiful art piece for this fic thanks to Aikiyun (at deviantart) that wouldn't have happened without our own Captain Spooky Nooodle or A Stereotypical Gamer (go read their stuff). Also, Burkion, Demetrion, and ray9868 for all the help and suggestions. Really the whole WIP discord server.
Another note, Burkion, our very own navigator, has started his own KnightFall story, for those of you that have taken a liked to the pairing. 'Down to the River,' which I can assure you is well written (I've read it!). More details at the bottom.
Now, onto the question on everyone's mind...
Is this story comedy or serious?
Yes.
Thanks to Cr00cy as always for keeping this insanity in check...check-ish
Chapter 8
Other Monsters
Cinder Fall was a monster.
Adam Taurus knew this.
He also knew something was off. She was agitated. She was rushed. She was angry.
As much as he hated the phrase, she was an animal backed into a corner. All which meant that she was especially dangerous.
He'd have to tread carefully.
"I don't think I fully understand." He said.
She hummed from her place across the small conference room table. "I don't think I see what there's to misunderstand. Your forces are required a bit earlier and in greater numbers that what we originally discussed."
"I don't recall agreeing to much of anything at all."
She sighed. "Adam, Adam, Adam. We both know that you were always going to take the deal. It's the only way that you'll get what you want."
"I find it interesting that you assume that you know what I want. Arrogance is a truly a powerful human trait." He shot back.
She smiled a joyless smile. "My arrogance? My dear Adam, take a moment to truly absorb your situation. You are a terrorist, a known terrorist. What would happen if I let your name slip to the authorities?"
He stiffened as she continued.
"And even if I didn't, even if I let you continue to play your games of cat and mouse with the Atlesian security forces, how long before they catch up to you? What will you accomplish in that time? Your forces are outcast by their very nature. You may be able to prick the skin of society, but you will never pierce its heart." She leaned across the table. "You need me. You need my power to accomplish your dream. You just don't want to admit it because I'm human. If you ask me, that's the height of arrogance."
He growled. "You-."
"Do not interrupt me!" She hissed. "I am telling you what the terms of the deal are. Do not mistake me Adam, this is no longer an offer. That time is past. This is a hostile takeover. You will kneel, and through kneeling you will achieve your dream." She tilted her head to the side, studying him. "Paradoxical, isn't it? The idea that you must be bound to be free? Don't worry, I'm familiar with the feeling. Now, what do you have to say?"
He fought to keep his anger in check, fought to choose the words that would put him back on equal footing with the woman...without inviting a fight that he couldn't win.
He chose poorly.
"Your husband seems to think there's another way."
Her visage darkened, and he felt both a chill run down his spine and the room begin to heat. When she spoke, it was in a cold, low tone.
"I will tell you this once, Adam Taurus. If you ever try bring my family into your life again, rest assured that I will make yours a part of mine."
He stilled. Blake.
She smiled softly. "It's paradoxical, isn't it? Love has freed you, and yet it has made you a slave. Again, I'm familiar with the feeling." She leaned back in her seat. "Now, you're going to stand up, walk out of this room, and make the appropriate calls. Roman will be expecting your men tonight."
He flinched. "That man-."
"Is necessary for both our goals, and will remain untouched. I will contact you again when I require your assistance." She gestured to the door. "We are done here."
He silently rose, his head bowed in defeat, and made his way to the door. His mind raced with the possibilities and consequences of the meeting. So much so, that he completely ignored the dark-skinned girl passed him in the hallway, making her way to the door.
Emerald popped her head into the room, wincing as she spied an exhausted looking Cinder.
"That bad?"
"You're supposed to knock." Her mentor informed her.
"He left the door open."
The woman sighed. "What can you expect from one who was raised in a barn?"
Emerald snorted, covering her mouth with her hand. "That's bad. That's really bad."
"I have been known to be so upon occasion."
Emerald smirked. "Yeah, I guess we have. He looked pretty shaken, think he'll give us what we need?"
She hummed. "Yes. Adam is a driven man, but not a terribly complex one. He will do what he believes is best for him and his. As must we all."
The thief nodded. "So, what's next?"
"We continue with the plan as scheduled. We'll infiltrate the school and-."
"Ma'am." She injected hesitantly, watching Cinder stiffen in irritation. "I meant, what are we going to do about the baby?" She took a slow step forward. "How are you feeling by the way?"
She watched as the woman's expression softened, and she sat back with a sigh.
"Tired...irritable." She grimaced. "Emerald, we are on a timeline, and the two weeks since I found out have been less than productive. If we do not achieve our goal before my pregnancy starts to show, we will surely be destroyed. Salem did not make a contract with a pregnant woman, she made a pact with a killer. She will not be pleased to find out that one has been replaced by the other."
Emerald swallowed. "Will...do you think that we'll be ok if we can pull it off?"
"WHEN we succeed Emerald, we should be too indispensable to discard." She sank in her chair. "That is my hope anyway." Gods, but she hated hope. It was so weak.
"Maybe I can use my Semblance. Hide that you're pregnant from them." The green-haired girl tried.
Cinder raised an eyebrow. "Even if your Semblance worked on people at those ranges, I wouldn't gamble my life trying it on Salem if I were you. She's...different."
"Yeah…"
A silence fell over them, with Emerald shifting from side to side uncomfortably till she broke.
"Have you thought of any names?" She blurted out, snapping her mouth shut immediately after.
The other woman huffed. "My, we're bold today, aren't we?" She slowly smirked. "Of course I've been thinking of names. If I'd spent half as much time planning as doing that, we'd probably own Vale by now." She drummed her fingers on the table. "I think I like Ash for a boy, and Ashley for a girl."
Emerald barked a laugh, which Cinder silenced with a look. "Oh, you're serious..."
"Why wouldn't I be serious?"
"Isn't it a little...on the nose? I mean Ash, Cinder, it's just kinda…" She trailed off as Cinder continued to stare her down. "You know what? I love it. It's the best name." She quickly amended.
"And what names do you have in mind, pray tell?"
"Ummm….Onyx maybe? You know, cause it's like a black rock, like it got burned."
Cinder rolled her eyes. "Oh, you chose a stone. Why am I not surprised?"
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
"Emerald? Onyx? Really, you have to be more subtle."
The thief blushed. "It's not like that!"
"I suppose next you'll be asking if you can be the godmother." She drawled.
Emerald coughed. "I mean...am I not?"
Cinder scoffed. "Maybe Adam was right about the arrogance thing. Why would you assume that?"
"I, uh...well, what other girls do you hang out with?" The girl sputtered.
"Emerald, I want you to remember that Jaune has seven sisters, SEVEN. If you think that you're going to beat all of them out for the position of godmother, you have my permission to try. We'll do something tasteful for your funeral."
The dark-skinned girl shrank a little. "Oh...right."
Cinder sighed. "I do suppose there's always room for another aunt however, Gods knows the child will already have a horde of them."
Emerald perked up at that. "Really?"
The woman in red smiled softly. "Yes, you may be Auntie Em, if it suits you. You're awfully excited about this. Should I worry about you trying to steal my children in addition to my husband?"
The green-haired girl blushed. "I...I just never got one. A family I mean...it sounds nice."
Cinder hummed. "It frightens me."
Emerald cocked her head to the side. "Why?"
"Emerald, have you ever imagined me to be mother material? Even for a moment?" When silence met her question, she continued, her hand drifting to her belly. "What do I have to offer this child?"
"You've done alright with Jaune." The girl offered.
"Jaune has done the heavy lifting there, we both know it. Keeping secrets has been my main concern." She answered bitterly.
Emerald bit her lip, trying to figure out how to phrase her next question, before deciding to risk being blunt.
"When are you going to tell him?"
"About me or the baby?"
"Yes, but mostly the baby for now."
Cinder crossed her arms on the table, and rested her chin upon them. "I don't know."
The thief winced. "He needs to know."
"You think I don't know that?!" She snapped, causing the girl to flinch back. She sighed, sinking back down into her arms. "I know, but you know Jaune. He'll be so excited. He'll want everyone to know. But...but what if I can't?" She swallowed. "This wasn't supposed to be able to happen. What if the baby doesn't..." She couldn't bring herself to finish, looking away from her apprentice.
Emerald stepped forward carefully, slowly extending a hand till it rested on her shoulder.
"It's going to be ok. Jaune will be ok, trust him. We'll figure it out." She smiled softly. "We always do."
The dark-haired woman looked up at her with tired eyes. "I'm scared Emerald. I was supposed to be done being scared."
"I know. Me too."
The woman sighed, resting a hand atop hers. "Emerald, I'm sorry."
The thief looked down at her in confusion. "For what?"
"I've been many things to you, but a friend is not truly among them."
"You saved me. I'd still be on the streets if not for you." She retorted.
Cinder scoffed. "I used you. You have been considerably kinder. Something I've taken as a weakness on more than one occasion. What I'm trying to say is...thank you. You're a good friend..."
She smiled warmly. "Anytime."
The woman in red shot her a small smirk. "Despite your sexual attraction to my husband."
She tsked as she whipped her hand away from the woman's shoulder, causing her to chuckle.
They'd be ok.
They just had to be.
Mercury Black was a profoundly broken man.
He knew this. He'd come to peace with it...as long as peace meant outburst of unspeakable violence.
What he also knew, was that he was profoundly screwed.
He dipped under a swing from Jaune's practice blade as the blond marched forward, trying in vain to land a hit on the graceful kickboxer. He was still a ways off from doing so, but he was getting closer, and at an alarming rate. Sure, his movements were choppy and mechanical, and his feet were out of place as often as not, but the man had taken to the sword and shield quickly, coming forward aggressively and with purpose.
On one hand, he felt proud that his friend had come so far in just a couple of weeks. On the other hand, he had always been a fan of his organs being where they were, and every step Jaune made towards Beacon was another towards his own grave.
He danced away as Jaune attempted to bash him with a backswing of his shield, sliding out of the way of the follow up thrust as well. The knight in training was getting good, too good. He had a solution of course, it'd been staring him in the face since the spar started.
Jaune was too aggressive. He tended to leave himself open and leave his rear foot behind when advancing, widening his stance too far. It was a common mistake for those that hadn't been hit hard in sparring often, and easy to fix. Just a few solid blows here or there would teach the necessary lesson. But...there was another option. He watched again as Jaune lunged forward, stretching his rear leg out, tightening the tendons there. All it'd take was the right kind of kick, placed carefully, and that knee would buckle. Jaune would walk with a limp for a while, maybe have a few problems later in life, but he wouldn't be at Beacon, and he'd be safe. All he had to do was pull the trigger.
Jaune grunted as he drove forward, swinging at Mercury in a downward arc. The silver-haired man stepped in, and caught the blond at the wrist, jerking him off balance. He took aim with his kick.
Jaune would understand. He knew he'd understand.
The blond grunted as his boot planted itself in his stomach, sending him flying backwards and onto his back with a thud.
Goddammit. It would have been so easy.
He sighed. "You ok, bro?"
The blond coughed as he slowly sat up. "What kinda jazzercise class did you teach again?"
He smirked. "An aggressive one."
Jaune shook his head. "Ok sensei Black, what'd I do wrong?"
He should lie. He should tell him anything besides what his weaknesses were. There had been a lot of things he should have done recently.
He sighed and plopped down on the grass of the Arc-Fall front lawn next to his friend.
"You're being too aggressive, man. Also, you're too stiff when you're attacking. You're trying to force it."
The blond chuckled. "I thought the whole force thing was kind of key to fighting."
Mercury smiled. "Directed force. Purposeful force. You need to be loose. You need to flow. It's not the hit you see coming that does you in, it's the blow that seems to come out of nowhere that really hurts." He explained.
"Flow? Like water?"
Mercury shrugged. "Sure, as long as that water is kicking someone's ass, knock yourself out. More accurately, knock them out."
Jaune laughed. "Anybody ever tell you that you're a real poet, Merc?"
"Once or twice."
Jaune shook his head. "Thanks again for this, man. I don't know what I would have done if I tried to pick this all up on my own. Probably would have been a disaster."
Rub it in why don't you?
"No problem. I know it can be frustrating, but you're making progress, even if it doesn't feel like it."
The blond sighed. "You think it'll be enough?"
He shrugged. "Maybe. Hard to say, I'm no Hunter." That was technically true. "Why do you want to be one so bad anyway? Honestly, it seems like kind of a pain in the ass."
Jaune hummed. "Probably. I think part of it is that it's what my dad used to do."
"Isn't your old man in a chair?" He winced, there were probably more polite ways to have phrased that. Turns out 'freelance assassin' was a job that didn't come with an etiquette book.
Jaune shrugged it off. "Yeah. Got into a bad Hunting accident when we were kids."
"You're not really selling me on this job, man."
The blond laughed. "It's the power to change things, Merc. To be strong enough to make a difference. Besides, everyone wants to be like their father, right?"
No, no they did not.
He sighed. "I ever tell you about my old man?"
Jaune shook his head.
"He was strong, real strong, but you wanna know what he also was? An asshole." He spat on the ground. "Used to knock me around something fierce. Thought it made him a big man. Thought it made him strong. It was just me and him too, so it wasn't like there were a lot of ways to get away from it."
"Brothers Merc, I'm sorry." Jaune said, resting a hand on his shoulder.
"It's ok. It's over now, he's gone."
"What happened?"
"Sudden heart failure. Guess his lifestyle finally caught up to him." Also not untrue, blunt force trauma notwithstanding. "But that's not why I brought it up. Look man, being strong is cool and all, but it doesn't mean anything on its own. You can be tough and not really help anyone, and you can be a normal guy, and change someone's life. You're a good dude, Jaune. I don't think you know how important that can be."
"Being a good dude wasn't enough the other night." The blond countered.
"That night shouldn't have gone down the way it did." Cinder never needed to know he said that.
"Exactly!" Jaune exclaimed. "If I'd just been stronger…"
"Bro, who do you think is more powerful, the strongest Huntsman in the world, or his wife?"
"Uh, the Huntsman?" Jaune tried.
"You sure? Who's the one who decides where they live? Who advises the Huntsman on what jobs to take? Tells him when he's eating?"
"Huh, never thought about it that way."
"Your dad go against your mom a lot?"
Jaune laughed at that. "Not if he knows what's good for him."
The silver-haired man held out a hand. "There you go."
Jaune shook his head. "Only one problem, there's no Huntsmen in our little family. No one with THAT kind of power."
Brothers, if you only knew.
He sighed. "Yeah, you got me there, bro."
The blond cocked an eyebrow at him. "What brought all this up anyway? Cindy ask you to talk to me?"
"Nah, just feeling all deep and shit today. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you don't have to be strong to make a difference..."
You've already done that.
He ran a hand through his hair. "...and being strong doesn't make you a better person."
Gods knew he was a testament to that.
Jaune smiled at him and gave him a playful shove. "I get you sensei Black, and I appreciate it." He hopped to his feet and held out a hand. "Now, you gonna help me get in shape, or have I tuckered you out by being your punching bag?"
Mercury smirked as he accepted the hand and let himself be pulled up.
"I think I got a few rounds left in me. Let's get to work."
He wondered what they'd do with his ashes after Cinder murdered him. Hopefully something respectful.
Cinder Fall was a monster.
It was known far and wide. Only one person in her life didn't have any clue of what Cinder Fall truly was, and she'd kill to keep it that way.
Her hand found the handle to the front door of her home, with its simple, yet stylish, one story ranch design and meticulously cared for flower bed. She pushed through the entrance to her home and transformed, just like she always did.
"Honey, I'm home!"
"I'm in the kitchen!" Came a familiar voice, one that sounded like home.
She weaved her way through the living room and walked into the kitchen, a smile coming to her face as she saw him. He was wearing the same 'kiss the cook' apron he always did, bending over to check something in the oven, with his mop of blond hair and deep, gentle blue eyes, and that dumb smile on his face, the one that was reserved for her.
"Hey baby, you're late. Trying to make a fellow jealous?" He teased.
She smiled. "Maybe I like to keep you on your toes. Don't want to become boring, after all."
He raised an eyebrow. "Big bad boss lady be boring? I don't think so."
She smirked as she slid up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "So, you're saying I excite you then?"
"In more ways than one."
"Good." She purred, resting her head on his chest. "You'll have to show me later."
He chuckled. "You're bad."
"You have no idea."
He rested his head on hers. "Long day?"
She sighed. "We're down to the wire on a lot of things at work. I'm getting worried."
He leaned down a kissed her forehead. "Sorry baby. Why don't you go get changed and relax? Dinner's almost ready."
She kissed his neck. "Good, I'm minutes away from hangry."
"The Gods have no fury like a woman unfed." He laughed. "Go baby, I'll be there in a sec." He said, turning her out of the kitchen with a swat on the behind to send her on her way.
A few minutes later, she emerged from her room, clad in the uniform of conquers. Sweatpants and a Pumpkin Pete hoodie. His hoodie, her hoodie, their hoodie.
She made her way to the living room, plopping down in her chair. The same rich, dark leather recliner that Jaune had shown her she'd like. He was good at that.
"How was training?" She called to the kitchen.
"It was good! I think we're making some real progress!"
She'd have to have a word with Mercury about that.
"Hey babe?"
"Yes?' She answered.
"Did you know about Mercury's dad?"
"...Yes, I did. What brought this up?"
"He told me today. I had no idea."
"I don't think he likes to talk about it baby. I'm surprised he told you." She'd have to find out just how much he told him.
"Yeah, I think he was trying to tell me that being a Huntsman isn't the only way to make a difference. That's what the guy was, right? A Huntsman?"
"Yes." Close enough.
"Sounds like a piece of work. I wish I could've been there for him. Could've have been strong enough to stand up to the guy."
"I think Mercury appreciates you being there for him now, baby." She replied.
"Yeah…" A loud beeping filled the house. "Chicken's done!" He announced proudly. "Just needs a few minutes to cool."
"Yay!"
"Anything exciting happen at work? Em doing good?"
"Had a rather intense meeting, but I think we all understand each other now. Em is good, we had a good talk today."
"About what?"
Shit.
"...Girl stuff."
"Ah."
Thank Gods that still worked.
Her apron clad knight appeared shortly after, his weapon of choice, a martini, in hand.
"Here you go, baby." He said with a warm smile.
Her world froze. She stared at the glass. Such an innocent thing. A part of their little ritual for every time she came home late. So familiar, and yet now so alien.
He cocked his head to the side as he held out the glass. "Cindy?"
She swallowed. "No thank you."
His face filled with concern. "You always have a drink on days like this. You not feeling ok?"
She nodded numbly.
"You want something else?"
She slowly shook her head.
"Cindy, I don't understand."
"I can't." She whispered, her hand trailing up to her stomach of its own accord.
She winced when she heard the gasp. One that deepened when she heard the glass clink of the floor. His arms were around her in a instant.
"Oh Gods! You're serious!? Please tell me you're serious!" He ranted, as showered her face with kisses.
"Jaune!" She cried out in protest.
He pushed off her immediately, holding his hands high in the air.
"Oh Gods, did I hurt you!? I hurt you!"
"Jaune, I'm not an invalid. You can touch me!" She laughed despite herself. "You're just smothering me!"
There were tears flowing in streams down his face now.
"When?"
"Two weeks ago...I wanted to be sure." She explained.
"Baby, I thought…"
"I know." She could feel them burning streaks down her cheeks as well. "I thought so too."
"It's a miracle." He whispered.
A very dark miracle, the more cynical side of her brain might have said, but in this moment? In this moment, that voice was silent. This moment was too perfect for it to be anything but.
"Yes." She choked. "I'm going to be a mommy."
He shot forward again, holding her as she wept unashamed for perhaps the first time in her life, tears of joy flowing freely.
"You're going to be a mommy." He whispered to her, kissing her cheek.
"And you're going to be a daddy." She whispered back.
He stepped back. "Oh Gods, I'm going to be a daddy." He started to pace around the room, talking to himself. "We've gotta go to baby classes, I've gotta baby proof the house." He gasped. "I've got to tell my family! I've got to tell everyone!"
"No!" She cried out, throwing her hand out. He shot her a confused look. "I'm still scared about what might happen." She explained, and his face fell. "I think it'll be ok, but I'm still a little scared. I don't think I could deal with the disappointment. Please baby, can we keep it quiet...just for now." She pleaded.
"Of course." He comforted, as he strode over and embraced her. "It's going to be ok, baby. I promise. Arc's word."
"Thank you." She whispered.
He squeezed her slightly. "Do you need anything baby?"
She opened her mouth to say no, and froze.
"Baby? You ok?" He asked, concern back in place.
She nodded. "Baby, you know what I've been really craving?"
"What? I'll get you anything!"
She laughed. "The Pumpkin Pete's dark chocolate ice cream. Could you grab some if it's not too much trouble?"
"Coming right up!" He exclaimed, as he kissed her forehead. "I love you so much!" He yelled as he bolted for the door.
She barely had time to call back, "I love you too," before the door slammed hard enough to rattle the house.
Good, he'd be gone for hours. That ice cream had been discontinued years ago.
"You have until the count of five to get the fuck out my house, before I burn you alive." She hissed.
He chuckled. "My, my, where's your sense of hospit-"
"Five. Four. Three-."
"I wouldn't!" Watts cried out hurriedly, appearing seemingly out of the wall, as he deactivated whatever stealth device he was using. "I've got people on hubby dearest."
"Show me." She challenged, holding an inferno in the palm of her hand.
He smirked as he slowly pulled out a scroll, revealing a live feed of their car, racing toward the nearest supermarket.
Watts tsked. "I do believe he's speeding. He should be more careful, that can be dangerous."
"What do you want?" She growled.
He smiled wide. "Well, isn't that the question? It's certainly changed in the past few minutes, I assure you of that." He laughed. "Honestly, it all started with our little tiff a few weeks ago about the fire at the docks. I assumed you were hiding something. Maybe something that I could hold over you head and make you a bit more compliant during our little council meetings." He shook his head. "But then one of my little friends let me know something interesting. Apparently, a certain Jaune Arc applied to Beacon...and listed himself as married to Cinder Fall."
He scoffed dramatically. "Now, I said, 'that's impossible.' Impossible, but still interesting, so I had him pass along the address listed, and stationed someone to watch." He explained. "And wouldn't you know it? This Jaune Arc DID appear to live with a certain Cinder Fall. But, it was so impossible though, that I had to see for myself." He grinned. "Gods, but it was worth it."
"'I'm going to be a mommy!'" He howled. "Brother's, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that THE Cinder Fall-."
"Get to the point!" She snapped, fingers digging into the chair.
He chuckled. "Oh yes, wouldn't want old hubby to come home too soon, would we? He has no idea does he? Honestly, I'm impressed, that level of deception is beyond even I." He shook his head sadly. "But to have such a glaring weak spot on the other hand…"
She was on her feet in an instant. "If you touch him-"
He pushed the scroll back in her face. "Now, now, 'Cindy.' Let's not make idle threats."
She seethed. "I promise you, no force on heaven or earth will save you from me."
He raised an eyebrow. "Not even our Queen?"
"Whatever happens to me, she won't be fast enough to save YOU. That's all that matters."
His eyes widened in surprise. "Well, aren't we fatalistic? I assure you that there's no need though. What I have in mind is right up your alley, and doesn't require anyone to die. Well, either of us." He corrected.
"What. Do. You. Want?" She hissed.
He chuckled. "Why, for you to be what you are! A monster. You've always been such a talented little murderer, and I have a long list of people that I'd prefer forgot how to breath."
"A hitman then."
"Don't worry, I'm sure you can tell Jaune you're in liquidation now. Even better, most of the names are right here in Vale, so you don't even have to travel! See how kind I am?" He asked. "Of course, we'll work our way up the chain eventually. I've always wanted to pay dear Jimmy back for my expulsion from Atlas."
"And you'll leave the others out of it?"
"Gods, you care about the other two as well? My, how the mighty have fallen." He shook his head in mock sadness. "Don't worry your pretty little head though, you kill for me, and I refrain from killing for you? Aren't I kind?"
"Leave."
He tsked. "I think I deserve a thank you."
"I'll thank you to get the hell out of my house."
"Say it." He demanded, finger hovering over a button on the scroll.
Her eyes widened, and she ground her teeth together. "Thank you."
He nodded. "See how easy that was? Well, best be off. I've got a hit list to finish compiling." He said, turning a making for the door. He stopped as his hand hit the handle, looking back over his shoulder with a smirk.
"Oh, and congratulations on the baby."
She could hear his laughter echoing in her ears long after he'd disappeared from her doorstep.
She fell to her knees in her living room and screamed.
Cinder Fall was a monster.
But to Jaune, she was simply his wife…
...And she'd kill to keep it that way.
The Maelstrom
The wind and rain whips at my face, as waves so tall that they came clear over the railing rocked the ship to and fro. My eyes search the deck desperately, trying to ensure that our crew is yet intact. I spy Crooc and Graves clutching onto the railing desperately, and see the erie captain holding onto the wheel as a soaked Burk yells direction in his ear.
The boy! Where is the boy?!
My eyes fall upon him, and I let out a sigh of relief. I see him trying to scream something to me, but it is lost in the wind. I painstakingly shuffle along the railing until I'm beside him.
"What is it, lad?" I shout above the storm.
"Sir! The storm is too great, the ship can't handle it!"
I clasp a hand on his shoulder. "She'll hold, lad!"
He shakes his head vigorously. "The sails of flirting and banter are being ripped away from the ropes of sexual tension." He yells.
My eyes travel upwards, watching as the Bear of Black and White and the Amorous Father desperately fling themselves from net to net, trying to close the sails, to save them for when we hit sunny waters.
"They'll hold!" I answer.
"But sir!" He argues. "I can hear the hull, it is screaming under the pressure! The characters that make it up, they can't take it!"
My ears take in the groans and shrieks of the hull as it as battered mercilessly by these dark waters. My gaze is set upon the crow's nest, trying to find Demy through the rain. I wave up at him, begging for good news. He crosses his arms in an X. There is none yet.
"They'll hold!" I answer again.
The boy scoffs. "How can you know that!? What ship is it that we search for!?"
I look at the boy for a moment, before catching his collar, and dragging him close.
"Do you wish to know, lad? Truly?"
"Yes!" He begs.
"The HMS Stress Relief." I say, barely a whisper in the storm.
His eyes widen in fear. "No!"
"Yes!"
He shakes his head with a fierceness. "That's madness! You're mad!"
I cackled above the wind. "And you followed me! You chose this boy! Who is madder between us?"
"I didn't know! How could I!?" He defends, before pointing back to the sea. "We'll never make it! The storm is only getting worse, and the mast, she won't hold!"
"She'll hold!" I snap back. "The mast of emotional connection is strong!"
"What is the connection!?" The boy demands. "How can you know!?"
"Because I have faith boy!" I point towards the dark wood of the mast. "But you do not, not yet anyway. So go I say, and check it yourself!"
He shoots me a look of disgust, before crawling his way over to the mast. He slowly pulls himself upright, gazing intently at the dark grains, trying to discern their pattern.
I wait for it, I know what is coming.
He turns back to me, terror clear on his face.
"It's fear sir! You've built a ship upon fear, fear of loss and judgement!"
"Nay lad! You're only on the surface!" I shout at him, as I slide my knife across the deck into his hands. "You must go deeper!"
I watch as he drives the knife into the mast again and again, desperate to peel away the dark wood.
"Deeper boy! Ye must find the core!"
"That's what she said, sir!"
Gods, but I love that boy.
Relationship Counseling
To say that Adam Taurus was uncomfortable would be an understatement.
Not only would it be an understatement, but it would be one on par with, 'Grimm can be irritable, the SDC and the Fang were having a bit of a tiff, and Ilia had some mild interest in Blake Belladonna.'
Speaking of which, the girl in question was seated at a small, wooden chair next to his own. The fact that she hadn't stopped glaring at him since they arrive certainly added to his uncomfortableness, but it was not its source.
No, that honor was reserved for the giant of a man in a tacky white suit, sitting opposite of them behind his large, oak desk, smiling wide.
"Well, welcome y'all! How can Big Daddy Bane help you today?"
"I'm not calling you that." He snapped.
"Adam!" Blake hissed.
The giant held up a hand. "It's ok Blake, sometimes the name makes people uncomfortable in this setting. In this setting, you can just call me Father Bane."
"I'm not-"
"Adam, you promised!"
He sighed. "...Father Bane, I'm still a bit uncomfortable with that name."
"And I'm a bit uncomfortable with the fact that you decided to wear a Halloween mask to a counseling session." He shot back. "How you doing by the way, Blake?"
"Meh, I'm here."
"Wait." He started. "You know each other?"
"Yeah, we're in the same book club." Big-Father Bane, explained.
"I'm immediately more uncomfortable."
"Adam! This is your councilor, that your friend recommended!" Blake argued. "You said you liked him."
"Jaune is a brother of the revolution…" He grumbled.
Bane raised an eyebrow. "Does he talk to himself about the 'revolution,' often?"
Blake groaned. "All the time!"
He coughed. "The revolution is everything!"
Father Bane hummed. "I think we're getting toward the root of the problem. You value work more than Blake."
"That's not true!" He snapped. "She just doesn't understand!"
Bane nodded, deep in thought. "Have you tried hitting the bitch?"
Adam balked. "That seems grossly disrespectful."
"Wasn't talking to you." Bane answered, looking to Blake.
She shrugged. "I stabbed him."
"Goddamn girl! Slow down!" The giant shook his head. "Alright, let's start this easy. We're going to do some roleplay."
Blake opened her mouth to respond, and Bane cut her off.
"Not THAT kind of roleplay. You kinky fucks can do that one your own time."
"You know, I find your language extremely unprofessional for a licensed counselor." Adam informed him.
Bane shot him a confused look. "Licensed?" Then his eyes grew wide with understanding. "Right! I'm a licensed counselor, just like Jaune said! Also, you can keep your fucking opinions to yourself, Ferdinand."
"The hell you say-"
The giant clapped his hands together. "Right! So, Blake, I want you to start us off. Pretend to be Adam, and talk to 'Blake.'"
She raised an eyebrow. "Be Adam?"
The giant nodded. "That's right."
She shrugged. "Ok." She took a deep breath and lowered her voice. "I'm Adam. I hate humans. So much so that I can't tell the difference between an SDC guard and a ninety year old grandma."
He scoffed. "I don't sound like-"
"'Blake!'" Father Bane shouted at him. "Wait your turn!"
He sighed and crossed his arms as Blake continued her impression. "I'm super possessive, and can't take a hint that my girlfriend needs some space. Or, you know, maybe just not to blow up a moving train!"
Bane raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what?"
Blake continued. "I'm going to start a relationship with a thirteen year old girl, cause I'm creepy as fuck."
"No seriously, I'm starting to get concerned." Bane tried again.
Blake ignored him. "You know what I really like? Is when someone sticks a finger up my-."
Bane shot across the table. "Ok! Thank you 'Adam.'" He said to Blake, before looking desperately to Adam. "'Blake,' would you like to go next?"
"Would I?" Adam growled, before raising his voice several octaves. "My name's Blake! I have severe daddy issues, which is super weird, considering the guy was always there for me."
"Hey!" Blake shouted.
Adam ignored her. "Didn't stop me from becoming a terrorist though, or demanding that I be allowed to call my boyfriend 'daddy,' in private or in public!"
Bane scowled. "See, I feel like we need to circle back to the first part of that statement."
"But wait, there's more!" Adam shouted.
"Or just ignore me, that's a sign of a healthy relationship for sure."
"I have a collection of toys that would put most sex stores to shame, and the only thing I like more than trying to use them all is my weird rape fantasies. And if you're thinking I mean against me, you'd be sorely mistak-."
"Aaaannnnnnd we're done!" The giant shouted across the table, eye wide with panic.
The couple nodded anxiously.
"What do you think?" Adam asked.
"Can we be healthy?" Blake cut in.
Bane scoffed. "Hell no! Y'all fucked up."
The two faunus sank back in their chairs, a mixture of disappointment and relief playing across their faces.
"But." The giant continued. "Y'all too fucked up for anybody else. You're going to be that couple that people whisper about at parties. 'Does he hit her? Is she cheating on him?'" He sighed. "But y'all gonna to stay together, cause no one else can handle your crazy asses."
"So...we can make it work?" Blake asked hesitantly.
"Define work." The giant said.
"We can tolerate each other till we have an explosive, possibly violent, fight, then amazing make up sex." She offered.
Bane sighed, running a hand down his face. "Yeah, that's about y'alls speed."
"Is that your professional opinion?" Adam asked.
"Fuck yeah it is."
"Oh Adam! We're going to ok!" Blake cried as she wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you so much Bane!"
The giant shook his head. "Y'all get the hell out of my office before you try to bang on my desk or start a civil war. I'm not sure which would result in more casualties at this point."
Adam stood, and slowly bowed to the man. "You are forever a friend of the revolution." He said, before making his way out of the room, hand in hand with his darling.
"Brothers above, I feel dirty." Bane muttered, before pressing a button on the intercom on his desk. "Brenda! Get me Qrow! We're going on a bender tonight!"
Burk: Yarr, this be Navigator Burkion here! I be highjacking this here fic to cross promote my own KnightFall story, which has already set sail! She be "Down To The River", and below is an excerpt. Now to hope I'm not thrown overboard.
Annnnnddddd an except if you're interested:
NOTE: THIS IS PART OF BURK'S STORY, NOT PART OF 'A MONSTER'S MARRIAGE!
JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE...READ THE ABOVE NOTE.
Being ambidextrous was one of the most useful skills that an assassin could have, Cinder Fall mused. Few were born with this rare talent, she certainly hadn't been, but it was a very useful skill to learn. She had just started opening fire on her current target when an unfortunate variable had made himself known. A variable taken into account, as Cinder was born no fool.
The bullets from her primary gun in her right hand tore into the young Neon Katt, a pro athlete that had decided to snub the wrong person. Her left hand had already closed around her secondary gun, a different make and model with a different set of ammunition, as the door began to open. Neon Katt's musically inclined partner, Flynt Coal, was apparently coming into the room to ask his significant other some question or other.
Whatever it had been didn't matter any longer as one bullet tore into his shoulder and one carved a groove across his skull. Cinder clicked her tongue in disappointment, knowing that her left hand wasn't quite as strong as her right. Neon Katt she had taken by surprise, slipping into the room from a side window and had died instantly. Flynt, on the other hand, was still suffering on the ground with only two of the five shots finding their mark.
Only she misjudged just how serious a head injury he had received, Flynt surging up. He swung at her wildly, remaining arm flailing. Cinder sidestepped the blow, a lamp exploding into a thousand pieces. A smile crossed her features, Flynt's eyes wide with fear and confusion. He thought he could fight his way out of this, how cute.
With a quick, aimed, shot to the head he was put out of his misery. No witnesses, no fuss, no worries. She doubted that he had any idea of what hit him, not that it would have mattered anyway. Cinder was pleased that she had the foresight to equip both of her pistols with silencers, which while it did not completely mute the sound of a gun, did help mask it. Checking the weight of her pistols she knew she would have to reload them as soon as she could safely eject their magazines. She stalled for a moment to empty two more rounds into Flynt's back, his body spasming in turn. Always make sure.