Dusk and Summer
Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order: SVU, though I really wish I did…And I don't own Dashboard Confessional, I just love their music.
Summary: Post 'Loss', reflections on pre 'Loss'. If you don't like femslash, don't read it.
Ch. 3 – Slow Decay
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"Stand down, start resting easy…You've done your service, I am proud to have you home and see you safe, it's so good…You look so strong in that picture on the mantle you sent your mom when you were gone…But you look scared now, hollow eyed…"
You're back. I can't believe you're back and you still haven't come to see me. Why are you doing this to me?
You know it hurts, damnit Alex, I know you've seen me too, because I've seen you also. You've seen the hurt in my eyes.
You're scared. Well so am I.
"…When are you coming…When are you coming back where you belong? I swear that it's safe here, there's nothing to fear at all…Come on back where you belong, the pressure releases if you just let down your guard…"
I still have all your things, right where you left them. Nothings changed. You can come back; you don't have to hide anymore.
You don't have to hide from me Alex; I know you better than anyone remember? And I love you more than anyone remember?
Please come back.
"…Everything rests on you…You know that feeling well, the ball is falling…Falling, falling, so far from a close call…Your injuries aren't mortal wounds…The only thing that's killing you is what you saw…What you couldn't stop…But you're not the one I blame, it wasn't your mistake…You're safe now so come home…"
Well I guess I can't force you, you're still Alex Cabot. No one could force you to do anything, even when you knew the dangers involved.
But I don't blame you. You couldn't have known that Velez would've called that hit on you and your family.
But now that Velez is dead and you're back and safe, shouldn't you come home?
"…It's the simple things, I'm not hurt, I'm not dead…I just should be, where my friends are lying…And I didn't hate those that I killed but they're all dead now…But I'm here alive with satellites and Friday nights…And no one to judge me for the things that I've done and all…So how can I live with that?"
I'm not hurt physically, but I'm dying mentally.
You weren't here to tell me when what I was doing wasn't right, that I shouldn't have killed that rapist, that I shouldn't have switched out of SVU because it's where I belong. Tell me I belong somewhere.
"…Back where I belong…Back where I belong…Back where I belong…Back where I belong…Take me back where I belong, you swear that it's safe here…There's nothing to fear at all…Take me back where I belong, the pressure releases…If I just let down my guard…"
Please take me back Alex.
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Third chappie down, how many to go? Who knows? Keep R&Ring and you'll get more. Now, click that little purple button in the left corner…Yes, you know you want to…