Character: Kaoru Sasaki
Summary: A journey of self-acceptance isn't always the easiest. What makes it easier is a chaotic mess of a sister, a handful of friends, and a guy who shouldn't be that attractive, but he is.
Kaoru
Honestly, it feels like karma has punched me in the face. Once Yuuka became a psychic, I was filled with such hate and fear. It only makes sense that I become one too. Because karma decided that my life wasn't already hard enough. I last three months. Three long months of hiding. Pretending I'm sick whenever there's a practical duel element in class. Skipping days of school. I can't do it anymore. People are starting to get suspicious. Well, everyone except my best friend, Emiko Higashiyama. She witnessed the first time my powers appeared. They appeared randomly one day, and I'm just lucky that I was dueling the AI and not her. Emiko says that I can't hide anymore, that I need to learn how to control my powers, that I need to tell someone else. That's when I begin to panic. I couldn't possibly tell my mom, considering how she reacted when Yuuka's powers activated and broke my arm before running away.
"Let's find Yuuka," she says one day when it's just us in the empty duel hall.
"And how do you suppose we do that?" I sigh. "The last time I saw her was at the Fortune Cup, and before that was over two years ago when she broke my arm."
"Well," Emiko begins to root in her backpack. Never a good sign. "I actually talked to her at the Fortune Cup, unlike someone. She told me she works as a seamstress." She takes out a binder and begins to flick through it. "It took a bunch of phone calls, but I think I got this. Yuuka isn't in the phonebook, it was worth a shot. No one called Yuuka Hattori, Sasaki, whatever, works at any small seamstress businesses. But, I have a list of small boutiques in the City that make their own clothes." She takes out a sheet of paper. It's double-sided, and it's filled with shops and their address. The list literally spans the entire City.
"How did you do this?" I mutter.
"Some Google searches, geez, get with the times." She tuts. "Besides, I think it's important for you to find Yuuka. You know why?" I shake my head. "Your powers appeared only a few days after the Fortune Cup, when you saw Yuuka. I don't know about you, but that's pretty suspicious. I think you have unresolved issues that you need to work through."
"Don't start with this again," I sigh.
"But I was thinking that we take Saturday and just try to find Yuuka. She has to be somewhere Kaoru."
"Fine," I nod. "What did I do to deserve you?" Emiko just gets flustered and smacks my arm.
We manage to go through every single shop on that list. As we stand outside out of the last one, I just feel defeated.
"Don't be like that, Kaoru." Emiko says, somehow still full of energy. "If she's not here, we'll try more places next week. I'll see if I can hunt down some textile factories."
"You go in first," I sigh. "I just need a second." Emiko nods and heads inside. I glance around me. Something about this place feels off. I glance to the corner. A tall dark-skinned guy is leaning on the wall at the edge of the building, looking at his phone. Wait, isn't that the guy Yuuka was with at the Fortune Cup? Could this be the right place? I follow Emiko inside. As soon as I open the door, a little bell rings. The owner of the shop greets me and I vaguely nod back to her.
"Do you see her?" I whisper to Emiko. "Did you ask her?"
"Back right corner, behind the fabric."
My eyes scan the room before falling on the back right corner. There she is. In that instant the shop floor becomes unbearingly cold. Yuuka grabs a duel disk, and heads for the back of the shop. She tells the owner that she's leaving for the day.
"Yuuka," I manage to get out before she leaves through the back door.
"What are you doing here?" Despite the terrified look in her eyes, her voice is cold as stone. She doesn't even turn fully around to look at me, instead just looking over her shoulder.
"I came here to find you." Yuuka finally turns around, but she's scowling at me.
"You want me to go home, isn't that right?" She walks right past me, heading for the front door. "I'm not going back, Kaoru."
"No! Yuuka, that's-"
"What else would you be after?" She interrupts me. "It's not safe for you to have me in your life, okay?" She bolts out the door, duel disk at her chest. Does she think I still hold a grudge against her? Maybe I did back then, but now, I guess things have been put into perspective.
"Go after her!" Emiko yells at me. I don't answer her, but do what she says.
"Yuuka!" I call out to her. She turns back to look at me, she's frozen. She's gripping onto the guy that was waiting outside. "You need to listen to me!"
"I can't!" She shouts back at me. Her head whips around, looking behind her. I think she's going to run. "Don't you understand? I can't go back there, Kaoru."
"Duel me," I hold up the duel disk that I've had on me all day. I hear Emiko gasp behind me. I don't know why I brought it. I haven't touched a real disk since the day I first got my powers. I felt like I needed it, and maybe this is why.
"But Kaoru…" Her eyes go between the disk and my face.
"I know what you're thinking, but please listen." I take a deep breath. "If you win, I'll leave you alone. If I win, you won't run away and you have to listen to what I have to say."
"Fine, but it's not my fault if you get hurt." She doesn't look at me as she puts her duel disk on. I see her taking deep breaths. "Are you ready?" She asks.
"Duel!" We shout out.
"I'll let you go first, since you're the challenger." Yuuka says, though it doesn't look like she's losing out.
On my second turn, I'm able to attack her monster. I shouldn't hurt her if I just attack her monster, and not her. The attack lands. Yuuka's hair visibly whips around as she shields her face. She seems unharmed. She stares at me wide-eyed.
"You're a psychic?"
There it is, out in the open. I haven't even said those words out loud. Yuuka looks to her friend who's been watching the duel. I look to Emiko, who just nods at me. Truly helpful.
"Yes," I exhale a shaky breath. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I want your help. You can control your powers now and I need your help."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner, dumbass? I would have listened to you!" She starts shouting at me. "Just continue the duel. Don't worry, I can handle your powers."
"Are you sure?" I mutter. All I can think about is the charred duel bot in the empty arena. What if I hurt her? What if I break her arm? What if she's a charred mess on the ground?
"Yeah, I'm used to dueling people with powers at this stage."
"Okay," I reply. Is this guy she hangs out with a psychic too? She said it like it's a hobby. Why does she duel psychics? That doesn't seem like a very good idea to me. Then I remember my current situation.
The duel continues. Yuuka attacks me directly, but I feel nothing. The monster didn't even become real. She doesn't even seem surprised. I can't even imagine that. But still, I feel something coming from Yuuka, something I don't like. The very air around her seems tainted. "What's wrong with you?" I ask. "You seem different."
"It's been two and a half years. Time changes people."
"No," I reply, "that's not it. There's a darkness around you." I finally put it into words. She stays silent. If anything, the cloud of gloom around her only grows. She continues the duel without saying a word. I summon Judgement Dragon, and attack her directly. I think I can do it without hurting her. I feel calmer than I did the first time I attacked her. Yeah, I should stop getting my hopes up. The attack sends her flying onto her back with a thud. I hear gasps from everyone watching the match.
Yuuka pushes herself up using her elbows. She looks over to her friend, only to freeze. I look over too. Why is Yusei Fudo, the new King of Riding Duels here of all places? I know he was talking to Yuuka at the Fortune Cup before she ran away, but still. Yuuka looks like she wasn't expecting him to be there either. She gets back on her feet, gives me a thumbs up, and continues the duel.
The next time I attack her, she's knocked onto her back again. I've won at least. I start to walk towards her, deactivating my duel disk. She starts leaning on her elbows again. I hold out my hand for her to help herself up.
Maybe if I just calmly walk away, I won't have to deal with Yusei or Kaoru.
"Don't get smart with me. Even if you walk away, that's still breaking our deal." I respond. She can't do this to me. I need her right now. If she doesn't help me, who knows what will happen? My mom will probably kick me out over the shame of having two psychic kids. Everyone in school will find out. I'll be like Izayoi, and be forced to drop out. I need Yuuka, as much as she doesn't want to help me.
Yuuka stares at my hand, still stretched out for her.
"I didn't say that out loud?"
The courtyard goes completely silent. All I can hear in Yuuka's thoughts bouncing around in my head. I feel the darkness that seems to hover around her seeping into me. I see bright purple lights and bloodied hands. I hear a bird screech and someone shouting. A shiver runs down my spine. Yuuka finally grabs my hand and stands up.
"What's going on?" Yuuka's friend asks as he approaches us.
"We can hear each other's thoughts." The words struggle to get out of her mouth, as if my thoughts in her head makes speaking unbearable.
"What?" He exclaims. "But that's impossible! We've met proper telepaths that couldn't read your thoughts."
"I know that."
"Telepaths?" Emiko pipes in, looking between Yuuka and her friend. "But I thought psychics just materialised duel monsters."
"Most psychics." Yuuka corrects her. "Some psychics have powers beyond that. Some can read auras, some heal quicker, others can talk to spirits and very few are telepaths." There's silence. Everyone is staring at Yuuka, since she is the reason that all of us are standing in an empty courtyard after dark on a cold December evening. "What do you want to talk about?" Yuuka turns back to me, seemingly unaware of everything.
"Well-"
"Actually, you should sit down." She cuts me off and points at the fountain in the middle of the courtyard, thankfully untouched by the duel. "Using your powers like that tires you out, I don't want you fainting on me." We walk over. Everyone else hangs back and starts talking. I hear Yuuka's friend apologising to Yusei, something about this not being planned. Am I interrupting something? My eyes close as I sit down. I see a bloodied, broken Yusei on the ground. My entire body tenses up. What is with Yuuka's thoughts?
"What's the deal between you and Yusei?" I keep my eyes on her face, despite it being dimly light by street lights since she's standing between me and a light.
"It's complicated." Her face is completely neutral. But I can hear her thoughts. They portray a completely different image. Her thoughts are chaotic.
"I have all the time in the world." I squint at her. "You like him, don't you?"
"Shut up!" She yells at me, getting the attention of everyone else who looks away quickly. "What do you wanna talk about?"
"I need your help." I notice Yuuka staring at me. She's thinking about how we look alike, and she's not wrong.
"To control your powers?" She asks.
"Yes. I can't control them and when you go to Duel Academy, that's not a good thing. Wait, aren't you going to sit down?"
"Nah, don't need to. Been in this game too long for that." She scoffs. She paces very fast backwards and forwards, getting the attention of everyone else again. She stops when she hears the talking about her, something about leaving her until she calms down. I keep hearing a name repeat in her thoughts, Raiden.
"Who's Raiden?" I ask.
"Can you please stop listening to my every thought? I'm blocking yours out."
"Wait, how are you able to do that?"
"I don't know. I'm just focusing on my own thoughts." I thought I've been trying that, but then grotesque images enter my head that I don't want to see.
"Huh," I ponder. Maybe it'll get better as I learn to control my powers. "But seriously, is he your boyfriend or something?"
"Not exactly." She answers. Her thoughts go completely silent, I think she's blocking me out.
"Then, is that guy over there your boyfriend?"
"Shinji is not my boyfriend." She sighs. "What's your obsession with me having a boyfriend?"
"I'm your brother, it's my responsibility to protect you from guys."
"Oh, you think you have to protect me?" Yuuka's eyebrows raise so far up that they're ready to fly off her head, but that doesn't scare me.
"It's my job as your big brother." She sighs again.
"Fine," she rolls her eyes, "but training to control your powers is a lot of work, are you sure that you're up for it?"
"Yes, I need to control them." I hear Yuuka's thoughts practically bouncing off my head. Then, I hear it. Black Flag.
"Black Flag?" I echo. "You mean the biggest duel gang in the City? How are you involved with them?"
"Well-" Yuuka looks very panicked.
"You see, here's the thing." Shinji approaches and interjects very quickly. "You're looking at the leader of one of the biggest duel gangs in the City." He smirks as if he's proud of that.
"I'm not the leader, so to say, it's more of a figurehead position."
"Yuuka, is that true?" Emiko speaks up.
"Yeah, but that's not important."
"Yeah right!" I feel myself getting hotter. "Do you know how dangerous that is? What if you got yourself hurt?"
"I know what the job entails." She says with pure malice. "Didn't I tell you that it's dangerous to be around me? Now, you know why." Her eyes move to the side and meet Yusei's, who hasn't said a single word. She crosses her arms in an instant. I remember she does that when she's nervous, which is a lot. Her thoughts start racing. They're filled with Yusei. I see more blood and Yusei lying motionless. I know what I'm seeing can't be true, since he's standing in front of me looking relatively unscathed. I don't know what happened, but I do know one thing.
You should probably talk to Yusei. I try to break through that mental barrier and put a thought right in her mind. Considering she begins to stare at me wide-eyed, I think I did a good job.
How did you manage to do that? I hear her think.
I don't know to be honest, I answer. But from what I've heard in your thoughts, you need to sort things out with him. I'll distract the other two if you want.
Wait, now? No, I don't think I can deal with that right now. Her eyes start to flicker backwards and forwards.
"Hey, do you guys wanna go get food or something?" I turn my attention to Shinji and Emiko. "It would be better than standing out here." I try to sound as nonchalant as possible. Granted they, like me, would be grateful to get out of the cold. Then I notice that Yuuka is only in a skimpy-looking dress and a waistcoat. How is she not shivering and getting hypothermia? She once said that growing up in the Satellite made her immune to the cold, but surely there's a limit to that? I turn to Yuuka and slightly raise my eyebrows.
"Nah," she says. "I'm going to head home." She starts to make eye gestures at Yusei.
"I'll walk you home." He cuts in almost immediately, clearly getting the message. I notice Shinji smirking at Yuuka before trying to pass it off as a cough. So he thinks something is going on between them? Wait, did I just enable something to happen? Yuuka hears my thoughts and takes a break from glaring at Shinji to glare at me for a split second.
"Right, I'll talk to you all later." Yuuka immediately turns and power walks away from us, Yusei following close behind.
"Well," Shinji claps and rubs his hands together. "I think that went well."
"You think so?" I ask.
"It's Yuuka, she's been a bit of a loose cannon lately. She's talked more to you just there than me in three months, and I'm her best friend!"
"What happened?" Emiko gasps.
"Who knows?" Shinji shrugs his shoulders. "She came back from the Satellite three months ago and hasn't been the same since."
"The same time my powers appeared?" I hum. "How soon after the Fortune Cup?"
"Only a few days after."
"Strange," I shake my head. I think it's too much of a stretch to assume that's connected. Emiko looks at me like she's thinking the same thing. I just shake my head at her.
"So, do you guys wanna go to a little ramen place nearby?" Shinji quickly changes the topic of the conversation. "It's Yuuka's favourite."
"I don't have any better ideas." Emiko nods her head. I agree with them and we head off.
It's a cosy little place, closer to the Daimon Area than I expected. Shinji tells me that Yuuka's living in a tiny apartment not too far from here. I tell him that I've never been to the Daimon Area before.
"I know," he chuckles. "I can tell that by looking at you two."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I furrow my eyebrows.
"Yuuka told me that you two are from the right side of the tracks. Born with a silver spoon up their a-"
"I get the idea." I sigh, looking at their tiny menu. "Wait, why is this place so cheap?" I whisper.
"Yeah, I feel like I'd be stealing from them at this price." Emiko whispers, putting the menu in front of her face, hiding herself from the staff.
"Well, I think you two need to know something about Yuuka." Shinji sighs. "She's not exactly well off. She has a tiny apartment and can barely afford to feed herself half the time."
"But you said she's the leader of the gang, how does she not have money?" Emiko furrows her eyebrows at Shinji.
"Well, she needs to keep a roof over her head, doesn't she? To tell you the truth, Yuuka doesn't see a penny from the gang. The only money she gets is from the stupid seamstress job, and she only gets half of what the minimum wage is supposed to be. All because she's marked and no one will hire her. She only got that job because my aunt runs the shop. I've started buying her vitamin supplements because she's not eating properly. It sucks, but that's Neo Domino for you."
"That can't be right though," I reply. "This City is supposed to be fair-"
"But it's not." Shinji cuts me off. "And the quicker you learn that as a psychic, the better."
"I guess you're right." I mutter. I think about the time before Yuuka ran away. I remember seeing how she suffered, but how she fought back. She never saw the City as fair, and now, I think I'm finally starting to understand why.
"Onto light subjects," Shinji sighs seeing the look on my face. "How did that duel go for you?"
"I think it went pretty well, considering the last time I made a monster real, I set a duel bot on fire."
"That's an accomplishment," Shinji smiles. "Not setting your sister on fire is a great start."
"Thanks," I say as I roll my eyes. Emiko's laughing beside me. "But I need Yuuka to teach me how to control my powers. I need to be like she is. I felt nothing as she attacked me. You wouldn't even think she's a psychic."
"Gimme your phone," Shinji puts his hand out. "Now, you should text Yuuka about meeting up. She'll tell you everything she knows. You picked a good psychic to talk to. In all the time that I've known her, she's never had an accident if you know what I mean."
"Thank you-"
"It's no problem." He shakes his head. "You're a good kid, I can tell that."
I meet up with Yuuka the next day in the park. A misjudgement by me because I wasn't expecting it to be so cold. Yuuka's wearing the same dress as the day before, and she looks like it's summer. Meanwhile, I'm in a giant jacket freezing my ass off.
Yuuka tries her best to teach me. She tries. She's not the best teacher. She's always had a hard time explaining things. She tells me about meditating and auras. She's also leaving Black Flag, and by the sound of her thoughts, she wants me to help. Me hearing her thoughts makes it hard to meditate. I think that's affecting both of us. I'm constantly afraid of hearing something I don't want to hear, and I know she is too.
Yuuka invites me back for dinner. Shinji is there, but from the sound of it, Shinji is always there. At least I learn that Shinji has a girlfriend, that makes me feel better. I meet another of Yuuka's friends, Anako, who mysteriously just popped up after eighteen months of no one knowing where she was, and today of all days. Yuuka looks very stressed, and her thoughts back it up. Then, Anako suddenly becomes my new teacher. Yuuka doesn't seem too bothered, she knows she's not cut out for teaching.
Emiko: How did it go? You haven't texted me :(
Kaoru: Oh yeah, Yuuka isn't a great teacher so her friend Anako is doing it instead. I'm training with her tomorrow
Emiko: Anako? Who is that?
Kaoru: That's a long story, I'll explain in person
Emiko: Oh. Okay.
Training with Anako is nice. She explains things a lot clearer than Yuuka. I'm able to properly meditate. It's strange hearing my mind so clear for once. I've noticed that Yuuka's thoughts are louder the closer that I am to her. Training away from her is probably the best idea.
"Is your sister going out with anyone?" Anako randomly asks out of the blue after our training is over. "No one seems to know the answer. I figure you'd know, cause telepathy."
"Don't think so." I scratch the back of my neck. She's not dating Shinji, or Yusei. I asked Shinji about that and he said no. "There's the thing going on with Raiden, but I don't think it's official."
"Yeah, I heard about that." Her face is completely neutral.
"You're not mad about that?" I raise an eyebrow at her. "I thought you were going out with him before…"
"Wasn't official either," she answers. "I just think there are better people out there for your sister than him. You haven't met him yet, right? He's an absolute asshole, I don't recommend meeting him."
"Like who?" I ask. Who would be better for Yuuka? "Cause if someone asks about someone else's relationship status, that means they're interested in them." Her neutral disposition fades into nervousness. "Apparently."
"Well-"
"You like my sister, don't you?" I cut her off. I think I see what's going on her. Why else would her first stop in the City again be Yuuka's apartment? I don't think Yuuka realises that, but I don't think she realises a lot of things.
"Well, Kaoru," she sighs. "I'm not going to lie to you." She goes completely silent. I get the hint.
"I'll take that as a yes." I notice her cheeks becoming noticeably more red. "I mean, out of everyone that could potentially date my sister, you're probably the best."
"Me?" Her hands fly to her reddened cheeks.
"Yeah," I shrug my shoulders. "You seem genuinely nice and caring, that's always good in a person." I can't make myself look at her. I can't help but keep thinking about her. She's spending her free time with me, a literal stranger, just to help me. The concept seems so foreign to me. "I-I should get going." I feel myself becoming more embarrassed. I can't help but notice how cute she looks when flustered.
"You're right, you probably have homework to catch up on." I nod along to her words. "At least Christmas break is coming up soon." I leave without much of a goodbye, because I can't form the words.
Emiko: I thought I told you to text me updates!
Emiko: How are you not done yet? How's it going?
Kaoru: Done now, it was nice. I feel better after it
Emiko: Can I come over? And you can tell me about it!
Kaoru: No tonight, need to catch up on homework
Emiko: Yeah, you've been busy the past two days
Emiko: I'll see you tomorrow I guess
I was right, Yuuka did need my help leaving Black Flag. She brings Shinji and I to their base, an abandoned warehouse by the docks. It's cold, the air forms a fog from my mouth. She tells me to wait outside the door while her and Shinji go into Raiden's office. He's a psychic, we don't take bad news too well, those are the exact words Yuuka told me earlier. They certainly don't calm the anxiety in my stomach. Shinji is back outside the door within a few moments. I can hear pretty much everything through the thin wall. "He wouldn't love you the way I do." I feel my body squirm as he says those words. Yuuka is disgusted too, I can feel it. I can sense him kissing her. Shinji is watching my face react with such curiosity. I don't speak because I know they'd hear me. "Fine, you wanna leave so bad?" That's when everything goes horrifically wrong.
I hear the sound of something slamming against a wall, and by the sounds of it, it's not Yuuka so that's a positive. "You win, you leave. If I win, you stay, you can't leave." I hear them start the duel. Shinji looks at me with panicked eyes. Raiden is a psychic, what if he… Oh gods. Suddenly, there's a loud blunt sound of something hitting the wall again. This time, it was something bigger and stronger.
Why was I not able to control my powers? This shouldn't be happening. I hear Yuuka's thoughts barraging against my head. Then, I feel it. I feel that familiar static sensation in my hands. Is this what's happening to her? I literally give Shinji an electric shock when he reaches out to touch my arm.
Kaoru, I hear Yuuka's voice. You need to get out. I've lost control of my powers, so Raiden is using his against me. That wall could come down if he attacks me. Please go. I don't want you or Shinji to get hurt.
I sigh, getting the attention of Shinji. I pull on his arm, heading towards the stairs. He gets the idea and follows me. He takes the lead, and brings us to a little side street. We can see parts of the duel from the windows. The building looks like it's under a lot of strain. We hear the sound of rumbling concrete, but the building is still standing. Giant cracks are starting to fall, and holes in the concrete are growing bigger and bigger.
"I have to do something," I say to Shinji.
"No," he puts a hand on my arm. "There's nothing you can do. We can only hope that she gets out of it okay."
I get an unsettling feeling in my stomach. She's bleeding heavily, I can feel it. Another attack goes through. Then, the rumbling of falling concrete becomes louder. The base starts to collapse. Shinji holds me back as I try to run. Large chunks fall obstructing the street around the base. I have to run. I try to reach out to Yuuka mentally, but nothing. Shinji tries to hold me back a second time but I move too fast. I climb over a giant slab of concrete to get to the door. The building has basically finished collapsing, it's nothing more than a pile of rubble now.
"Yuuka!" I scream. I see her peeking out from the doorway. She doesn't react to me, and there's a pool of blood around her. I try to pull her out of the rubble, luckily I'm able to slide her straight out.
All I can think about is getting her to a hospital. The smell of blood is so thick that it almost makes me gag. At least she still has a pulse, I tell myself, even though it's very weak.
That's when Shinji reaches me, he helps me get her completely out of the rubble. Blood is starting to smear all over our clothes. I'm trying not to freak out, while Shinji looks completely calm. I start to call an ambulance. Once Shinji realises what I'm doing, he tries to take the phone out of my hand. "What are you doing?" I scream at him once I hang up. "She needs to go to the hospital." The entire front portion of her dress is torn. Not that you can see anything because her entire front is drenched in blood.
"How are you going to explain this to the hospital?" He screams back, losing his composure. "Psychic duel in an abandoned warehouse that collapsed? That doesn't sound sketchy at all."
"What else do you want me to do?"
"There's a psychic doctor that we go to. That's where I've always taken her."
"Well the ambulance is on it's way, so we're just going to have to deal with that."
We don't speak again until the ambulance comes. We try to elevate Yuuka's head and chest in an effort to slow the bleeding on her chest. The ambulance crew ask what happened to her. We just tell them that she was in a duel and the building collapsed, and that the other person was nowhere to be found. They send out another crew to look for Raiden.
As soon as we get to the hospital, Yuuka is brought immediately for surgery. Shinji immediately makes a call, and he calls Yusei of all people. He's on his way, Shinji tells me. We sit in the hallway, deadly silent, waiting for someone to come out.
"Good job today," Shinji says quietly.
"You too," I mutter.
"Now that I think about it, she probably would have died if we tried to bring her to the psychic doctor." He sighs. "You know, from the way that the ambulance crew were talking about it."
"Yeah, it was all I could think about in that moment."
"You seemed pretty calm despite everything that was going on."
"Well, it definitely didn't feel like it." I give a half-hearted chuckle.
"No, don't say that, you did good." There's a beat of silence. "I bet I know what you're saying to yourself."
"What?"
"You wish there was something you could have done to protect her."
"Lemme guess, you feel that way too?"
"Of course I do." He sighs. "I wasn't going to leave Black Flag until Yuuka went with me. I couldn't leave her alone in case something happened. I already regret not going to the Satellite with her that one time."
"Yeah-"
"Once Yuuka has a thought in her head, there's no stopping her. She hates people trying to protect her." Shinji looks me straight in the eye. "The only way to protect her is to say that you have her back, you hear me? Who knows what mad idea she'll come up with next?" There's a pause. "I know this guy. His sister's trans and psychic. He joined a gang to keep her out of this life. Got the money to pay for her transition and everything. That's pretty brave."
Shinji's trying to tell me something. I just don't know what. I go to respond, but the arrival of Yusei interrupts me.
"Is Yuuka still in surgery?" I hear him ask.
"Yep," Shinji answers with a pop. I turn to look at Yusei, and I'm surprised that he's brought two people with him. Former Duel King Jack Atlas and some small ginger guy, who I'm guessing is her old friend Crow.
"So you're the brother? Kaoru, wasn't it?" Crow asks, studying my face intently. I nod.
"I told you there was a strong resemblance." Yusei cuts in.
"I get that a lot." I met Jack Atlas's eyes, he just scowls at me. I remember once that Yuuka told me that Jack was the closest thing she had to a brother, before me. He must feel a sense of loss, knowing that Yuuka has a biological brother now. Not that Yuuka has ever cared about who she's biologically related to.
The five of us sit silently on the bench. There's occasional questions about what happened, but Shinji keeps the answers vague. All of us stand up when we hear the beep of the surgery light go off.
"Miss Sasaki is in a stable condition." A nurse responds when Shinji asks about her. "She's being moved to the Intensive Care Unit for the time being. She will have no visitors until further notice."
"You kidding me?" Crow tuts.
"Let's just go home." Jack says, already turning to leave.
"I'll stay here for a bit." Yusei says, sitting back down again. "Just so someone is here."
"Take care, man." Shinji pats him on the shoulder. "Don't stay here all night. She'll be fine. C'mon Kaoru." I sigh, say nothing, and follow Shinji out.
She'll be fine, he said. It's been a week and she still hasn't woken up. Yusei and I made the unspoken rule that he takes the first few hours of the visiting hours and I take the last few. Then, that lets other people visit during the day. Shinji, Reika, Emiko, Anako, Jack, and Crow are the people that I definitely know visit. Flowers appear on the sixth day, but no one claims to have left them. I thought some mysterious suitor, meaning Yusei or Anako, left them, but apparently not.
I decide to pass time by reading the newspaper. The last week has left me so knowledgeable about current events. I'm reading an article about crimes against marked people when I hear movement. I look up from my newspaper to see Yuuka sitting up, ripping the IVs from her arm and taking her oxygen mask off.
"Yuuka, put that mask back on! You don't know if you still need that." Yuuka just looks at me and sighs.
"Kaoru, judging by the fact that I'm talking right now, I can safely say that I don't need it." I'm surprised how articulate she is, despite having just woken up from a week long coma. I put my newspaper while rolling my eyes.
"I'm glad you're okay." I sigh. She seems to be fine, but I can't deny how deathly pale she looks in her hospital gown.
"What?"
"Do you not remember? You nearly died." Yuuka's face falls slowly. "We found you in the rubble." I'm still trying to forget that day. Everytime I try to sleep, all I see is Yuuka's blood on my hands, spread all over the concrete and my clothes.
"Wait, where's Raiden? What happened? Where is he?" Yuuka's eyes dart wildly. She starts to push up on the bed. I hold down her shoulders to keep her from moving. Yuuka's eyes close and her brows furrow. She probably moved too fast for his own good.
"We didn't find Raiden, but Shinji says that he's alive." I answer her question. "Don't move around too much. You lost a lot of blood." Yuuka just sighs and puts her pillows up so she can sit up properly.
"How long have I been out?" She whispers.
"A week."
"A week?" She gasps. "That's so long." She's silent as her eyes trail to the big bouquet of blue flowers on her nightstand, as if she only noticed them now.
"I don't know who the flowers are from." I answer the question that I'm sure is in her head, since I can't hear anything at the minute. "They kind of just appeared a couple of days ago. Originally, I thought Yusei had gotten them but it's not him. No one I've met so far has left them." I scratch my face, thinking of anyone else it could be.
"They're definitely not from Yusei, that's for sure." She squints at the flowers. "Morning glories are unusual to give like this, that's for sure."
"Oh that's what they're called? Though, what other flowers are blue like that?" Yuuka covers her mouth with her hand. She doesn't speak. "I'll go tell the doctors that you're up."
I come back with a doctor, who checks over Yuuka. I notice the doctor glancing at Yuuka's mark, but saying nothing. The doctors were freaked out by her accelerated healing, something Shinji told me she has because of her powers. She checks all of the basics. Pulse, blood pressure, dilation of her pupils in case of brain injury. Everything about Yuuka, minus the bandages covering her body, seems perfect. The doctor just discharges her on the spot. Why would they do that? She just woke up. She should stay a night, just in case. What's going on? I look at Yuuka who just frowns at me. The doctor asks me to come with her to fill some forms. "Oh yeah, Emiko got you clothes. They're in the second drawer. You should change into them now." I tell Yuuka before leaving the room. Emiko went to Yuuka's apartment, but didn't find much that was appropriate for someone leaving the hospital, whatever that meant, so Emiko bought her comfy, casual clothes to wear.
Yuuka comes down to the lobby, full dressed, while I'm still filling in the forms. I feel her aura before I see her so I don't even have to look away from the form. "You doing okay?" I ask.
"As good as I can be at the moment." Yuuka gets preoccupied by Yusei who's standing with me. I texted him as soon as I left the room, and he instantly arrived.
"Right, you need somewhere to stay." I say, getting Yuuka's attention back. "You live on your own, you can't handle that at the minute with your injuries."
"I have to catch a flight at half five tomorrow morning. And with Nancy's shifts being how they are, there's no one to take care of you, honey. I'm sorry." And there goes our dad being shitty like always. The only nice thing he's ever done for us is let Yuuka stay with him after she ran away. Meanwhile he acts like seeing me every second weekend is too much of a hassle. I just think he's guilty about her, but doesn't give a shit about me.
"Yuuka, you can stay with us." Yusei pipes up.
"Are you sure?" I try reading Yuuka's face since I can't hear her thoughts again yet. She seems more apprehensive than I expected.
"Of course, it's the least we can do." Yuuka's face softens at his words.
"Are you okay with that?" Our dad asks despite the fact she looks more than okay with that. I hand the papers back to the lady at the desk, so Yuuka is free to go.
"Yeah," she nods, looking very pale.
"Right then, I'll call you a cab." Our dad offers and Yuuka makes a face. "Don't worry about it, I'll put it on my card." He starts power walking outside, leaving poor Yuuka to limp after him with her bad leg. Yusei offers to help her, but she declines. Yuuka really hates being helped or protected. Yusei and I talk about the situation at his place. He's already said that he'll give his room to her while he sleeps on the couch. This should only be temporary, something Yusei says himself.
"Right, we'll see you at Poppo Time." I say to Yusei before he leaves. I wait with Yuuka, who's carrying her flowers. She's holding them tightly so I know better than to ask to take them.
I help Yuuka into the taxi, which is silent for the most of the ride. I'm confused on how to feel about our dad being Yuuka's emergency contact, since our mom, despite everything, would be more helpful than he'll ever be. I help Yuuka to the door of Poppo Time before hopping back in the taxi. Might as well take advantage of my dad's kindness while he's paying.
Shinji's going to visit Yuuka tomorrow with some news. I've guessed what it is, but I don't want to say it aloud. Yuuka is now a gang leader, a very crippled one. I remember Shinji's words to me that day in the hospital. The only way to protect her is to say that you have her back. I sigh to myself. I'm hoping I'm wrong. But I suppose if she needs me, I'll be there for her. That's what brothers are for, right?
I was right. Yuuka is now a gang leader, not only that, she's homeless and unemployed too. She says that she's handing the gang over to some kid named Yuudai, but Shinji seemed skeptical at best. He did say that everyone has left Black Flag now, that it basically doesn't exist anymore, barely hanging on because of Yuuka.
"So wait, why are we meeting with them again?" I ask Yuuka as she practically drags me to the park with her.
"Important business." As we walk, I notice Yuuka's limp getting considerably worse. I don't point it out because she'd probably punch me. It's been a week since Yuuka left the hospital, and I still can't hear her thoughts.
"Okay, but who are they?"
"Takumi and Kenta," she answers, "they're friends of mine."
"Oh okay," I nod. Is she blocking me out purposefully? She's clearly up to something. I just wish she'd be honest with me. I'm her brother after all.
We finally arrive at the park. Yuuka makes us walk to the other side of the park until we reach a gazebo. From here, I can spot two people inside, and feel the aura of one of them. There seems to be no one around today. Probably because it's the middle of December and it's cold. I don't even want to be here.
"Oh dear gods, there's two of them." A small, dark-skinned guy says as we go to enter the gazebo. He's the one with an aura. He feels cold. His aura gives me the prickly sensation of having ice directly on your skin. His eyes meet mine. A bright forest green nearly hidden behind brown hair falling in his face.
"What do you m-" The second guy turns around to face us. Both of us freeze as we meet eyes. I get a shiver down my spine. His brown eyes trail over my face before moving to Yuuka's. His blond fringe trails over most of his right eye. He's tall, most likely taller than me, and broad too, he definitely works out. Wait, why am I thinking about that? "I mean they look alike but-"
"No, it's not that." The brown-haired guy raises a hand over his mouth. "Their auras, they're practically the same."
"What does that mean?" I turn to ask Yuuka.
"I don't know." He answers for Yuuka, but keeps looking only at her.
"Could that be why we can hear each other's thoughts?" I ask the brown-haired guy, who's made no effort to introduce himself.
"Could be. Unusual, considering most other telepaths can't hear your sister's thoughts at all."
"Telepaths?" The blond guy also stares at Yuuka. He turns his back to us, looking over the lake next to the gazebo. He seems so cool and effortless, like he has everything under control. "Besides the point, what's the story? You disappeared for like three months."
"It's a long story," Yuuka sighs.
"You always say that." The blond guy turns back around. He leans on the railings and crosses his arms.
"Believe me, I mean it." Yuuka's eyes widen. I can't hear her thoughts. I try to ask mentally to introduce me to them. They clearly know me, but I don't know which one is which.
The brown-haired guy starts to tear into Yuuka about leaving Black Flag. About how it was an irrational decision that landed her and everyone in trouble. He asks me how I feel, including me in all this. He must know that I was there. I tell him the truth. She did the right thing, but she could have gone about it in a different way. Yuuka knew psychics don't take bad news well. Why did she even duel him if she knew? Did she know her control of her powers would fail her? She hasn't told me these things. He goes to tear into her again, but the blond guy stops him.
"Calm down, Kenta." The blond guy says. That means his name is Takumi then. It suits him. A strong name for a strong looking guy. What is wrong with me? "You know why she did it. Some things went wrong, this changes nothing. It's not going to stop our plan." That snaps me out of my daze.
"What plan?" I rapidly look between Yuuka and Takumi. I knew she was hiding something.
"What? You haven't told him yet?" Takumi raises an eyebrow at Yuuka.
"No, I can't have him blabbering on about how this is a bad idea to certain people."
"What's going on, Yuuka?" I stare at her. What has she been hiding on me?
"You know how I left Black Flag?" She asks.
"Yeah, you said that you're done with gangs." I finish for her.
"Well, I'm not." She slowly nods her head while not looking in my direction.
"What?" I feel my voice raising and static in my hands. "You can't! I mean," I take a deep breath, "you're not strong enough. You can barely walk without being in a heap-"
"I'm not doing anything now, dumbass. I know that." Yuuka finally looks at me again. "Nothing's going to happen until I leave Poppo Time." I see Yuuka slyly side eye Takumi.
"What's going to happen then?" I can feel my hands starting to shake. This is Yuuka's thing, I notice, why am I doing this?
"Well, it's simple." Takumi answers. "We're going to rid the City of gangs."
It takes a second for Takumi's words to register in my brain.
"Wait, what?"
"Exactly what he said." Yuuka says as I turn to look at her. Oh, this is her plan. Was this the mad idea Shinji talked about? Did he know and try to warn me? Did he know Yuuka would bring me here?
"No, not that. Why am I here?" Is she going to ask me to…
"Well," Yuuka stares at her hands while she plays with them, "you're going to help us." Her eyes close and she takes a deep breath.
"No!" I exclaim. "Nope, not doing it. No way." Yuuka gives me a pleading look. She can't be serious. I can't get involved in gangs. I said I would support Yuuka, but I can't get involved in gang warfare.
"Please, just listen." I think about just walking away. What she's asking is crazy. But I sigh, letting her continue. "As you know, we can hear each other's thoughts. If you don't join us, it's going to be hard for both of us. I can't keep an eye on you. People might use you to get at me, I don't want that to happen."
She wants to keep an eye on me? That can't be right.
There's silence. I hear the soft drizzle on the gazebo roof and the lake.
What she's asking me to do is crazy. Not only is she asking for my complete support, she's asking me to join a gang. Gangs are illegal. If I got caught, who knows what would happen? Then I remember why Yuuka ran away in the first place. Because I refused to support her, because it meant breaking the rules, because there was a chance that something could go wrong for me, not her. The only way to protect her is to say that you have her back. Shinji's words echo in my word. I already let down Yuuka once before. I can't let myself do it again.
"Fine," I hold the bridge of my nose and exhale. I can't believe I'm doing this. "I'm only doing this so I can protect you. The minute you get hurt, we're leaving."
"Okay," she says very cooly.
"Is that why you haven't been answering me? Just so you can hide your little secret?" I feel myself getting closer to the top where I'll lose control. I can't handle this. I'm joining a gang. Yuuka looks at me. She bites her lip.
"No," Kenta answers. "There's something wrong with her. Her aura, it's different. You can't hear his thoughts, am I right?"
"That's right," Yuuka responds while covering half of her face and looking at the ground. "Nothing works; I can't sense auras either."
"How is that possible?" Takumi stares wide-eyed at Yuuka.
"I don't know, ever since that duel-" I see her struggling with the idea. I feel bad for getting mad at her now.
"Wait, didn't you say that you didn't have control of your powers during that duel?"
"What?" Kenta's eyes dart all around the place, trying to comprehend the idea. Everyone seems to make a big deal out of this.
"Yes," she nods. "During the duel, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't control my powers."
"Do you know why?" I feel myself soften again. I feel terrible. I've been angry at her for a week, while she's been suffering from more than I've imagined.
"I reckon it's to do with her emotions." Kenta stares intently at Yuuka. "A lot has happened to you since I've last seen you, this could be the result of that."
"Probably," Yuuka answers. "Enough about me. What has happened since Raiden disappeared? Shinji's only told me so much." She, then, changes the conversation topic completely.
Takumi explains all of the gang stuff. Gangs getting taken out in the aftermath of the Black Flag base falling, their territory becoming smaller. I learn that Takumi and Kenta are not from Black Flag, but the Onyx Slicers. Kenta talks about our first target.
"Our best bet is taking out The Jackals first." He slowly looks between Yuuka and I. "They're the smallest next to Black Flag. They're also the only gang that didn't take over another gang in the last week or so. Probably means that they're the weakest right now, and that they should be our first target."
"Sounds fair," I respond, bringing a hand to my mouth. "We should wait until after the New Year. That'll mean Yuuka has more time to recover, and we can enjoy the holiday season too." Kenta looks surprised by my comment.
"You're nothing like your sister, you know that?" He smirks while raising an eyebrow at me.
Yuuka gets us out of there very quickly, saying that she's in a lot of place. Granted, she's been sitting on the concrete floor since we get here after walking for a while.
"Thanks for having my back," she says as I walk her back to Poppo Time.
"Don't worry about it," I pat her on the back.
Emiko: How did hanging out with Yuuka's friends go? What did you talk about?
Kaoru: Nothing much, just general talking
Emiko: Did you talk about me? ;)
Kaoru: No? You didn't come up
Christmas comes around quickly. Yuuka invites to have Christmas at Poppo Time with her friends since our mom went away with her sisters and I really didn't want to go. The ability to hear each other's thoughts slowly returns, and she doesn't know why. I learn that Yuuka is far more clever than she lets on. The Yuudai she was giving Black Flag to isn't real, and is just her alter ego. She claims it's so no one gets suspicious about when the whole territory takeover thing starts. The only one who might be suspicious is Shinji, but she doubts that he'll say anything.
By the time mid January rolls around, Yuuka is back on the job and apartment hunt. Yuuka is sick of sleeping on Yusei's couch. Yes, she said couch. Apparently she was too stubborn about not taking Yusei's bed that he stepped down. Shinji made a face when I told him that. He clearly knows something. Emiko offers up the guest bedroom in her house. Yuuka turns down the idea immediately because she's marked, and Emiko's dad is a politician.
So I throw out the idea of Yuuka moving back home.
That doesn't go well at all.
It's clearly the best thing for her. But she can't see that. Every other combination involves sleeping on someone's couch and taking advantage of their kindness. Every job application has been denied. She couldn't afford anywhere. Prices have skyrocketed after unifying with the Satellite because there is now so many more people to house. Yuuka's backed into a corner, and refuses to even consider the most reasonable option in front of her.
Well, she refuses to consider the idea until Yusei talks to her about it. If Yuuka brings up Yusei one more time, I'm going to break the man's kneecaps myself. She's crazy about him, but is adamant that she does not like him at all.
Our mom begins to weep at the mere sight of her. Before Yuuka came to the City, she cried over bottles of wine. When she was here, she argued with her. When Yuuka ran away, she went right back to crying over wine. We move to the living room. Our Mom keeps apologising. She blames herself for what happened, just like I do. Then Yuuka says something that shocks both of us.
Yuuka says that she forgives our mom for what happened.
Our Mom starts crying, clinging to me very tightly. I smile at her, and mentally thank her. There's a bittersweet expression on her face. I hear Yuuka's thoughts. The guilt that our Mom feels, Yuuka has felt that too. I don't fully understand, but I'm glad that Yuuka has gotten to this point.
"Please. Just be my daughter again." Our Mom pleads. I feel a pang in my heart. Yuuka's face begins to soften until she agrees. I let out a sigh of relief.
Yuuka is only back at home for a matter of days before the whole gang thing, Team Liberation, starts. I'm so nervous that it's hard to concentrate when our game plan is being discussed. Anako has prepared me for dealing with psychics, something she insisted on for some reason. I just take as many deep breaths as I can.
"Are you nervous, huh?" Takumi asks me after we've discussed the game plan.
"Yeah," I hold my mug of hot tea close to me. "I've never had anything to do with gangs before."
"Don't worry about it. Everyone starts somewhere. You have us with you, you'll be fine." Takumi meets my eyes as he speaks. I get a warm feeling in my chest, though I'm not sure that it's not just the tea. "Your sister is good at this sort of thing. You can hear her thoughts right? She'll help you. We're all here you, mate." Right, Yuuka. We're talking about Yuuka, not Takumi. Why would Takumi care about me? I barely know him. We're just in a gang together.
Takumi continues to talk to me as we get ready to go inside The Jackals' base. He pats me on the back when I feel static in my hands. He looks at me with sincere eyes. I look at Yuuka and try to talk to her mentally, but she just blocks me out. Why is Takumi being so nice to me? Is it just me? Is he like this with everyone? Is it because this is my first gang thing ever? Does he like me? Hold on, wait. Retrack. I'm straight, why do I care? Does he think I'm cool? Or is it just because I'm his friend's brother, who just happens to be in the same gang? Gods, this is so confusing. I don't need this today of all days.
The attack on The Jackals goes really well surprisingly. Sure I get a gash on my waist, that heals pretty quickly. It turns out that I share Yuuka's fast healing. It doesn't even leave a scar after a few days. But still, I managed to defeat the leader of the gang all by myself. Me. Taking down a gang. I'm still in disbelief. Takumi congratulating me certainly didn't help the butterflies in my stomach.
In next few days, our main focus is to hide our scars from everyone else. Yuuka refuses to take off her jacket, no matter how hot she gets. If only I has followed that idea. Anako finds out because I decide to take off my hoodie during a training session, displaying the scars on my arm, which have mostly healed. I manage to get her to keep quiet, but she did offer to help us if we needed it.
When I leave the training session, the same thing happens again with Emiko.
"Kaoru?" Her voice is quiet. I instantly drop my hoodie on the floor of her bedroom. Thankfully, we're alone. "What happened?"
"Nothing, I just got jumped on, I was lucky Yuuka was there."
"You're lying to me." Her eyes met mine, and they're filled with tears. "Please just stop. Ever since Yuuka was in the hospital, all you've done is lie to me. Kaoru, I am your friend. Stop lying to me, please."
"Emiko, I-"
"What has Yuuka gotten you involved in?" Her eyes narrow. Her normally warm gold eyes seem brutally cold.
"You won't believe me."
"Try me." Her voice is blunt.
"Well," I sit back down slowly. "You know the way Yuuka was part of a gang, and left?" She nods. "Just because she's done with Black Flag, doesn't mean she's done with gangs." Emiko's eyebrows furrow slightly, but she says nothing. "Well, her and her friends are trying to get rid of gangs in the City, and unify everyone. We're called Team Liberation, and we're doing a very good thing. I'm sorry I haven't told you." Her eyes move away from my face to the floor. "I couldn't tell you because they don't want people knowing about this. We could be in a lot of trouble if people know who are doing this. We're not using our real identities, it's that dangerous. I hope you can forgive, Emiko. Believe me I wanted to tell you-"
"I have some questions," she interrupts me.
"Go on-"
"Is Yuuka's friend Anako part of this?"
"No, why?"
"Does she know?"
"Yes," Emiko blinks in surprise, "but that's because she figured it out. Not because I told her. Why are you asking?"
"No reason." She sighs. "You've just been spending more time with her than me recently. And I've been feeling left out."
"But we went for lunch together, remember? And you said you liked-"
"I was lying, Kaoru." Tears well up in her eyes again. "She didn't want to be there, she didn't want to meet me. You sat beside her instead of me, and I could tell she was happy about that. Don't you see what's happening, Kaoru? I'm getting replaced." The tears start pouring down her cheeks. "You're replacing me with a taller, prettier girl who you have more in common with. Kaoru, we've been best friends since we were kids. I can't believe you're doing this to me."
"Oh Emiko!" I reach for her arm. She tries to jerk away from me, but I catch her. "Don't think I'm replacing you." She looks at me, her face wrinkled from trying to stop the tears. "It might look that way to you, but that's not what's happening. I'm only training with Anako, and she's just a friend. I'm only training so I can control my powers. So I can do this Team Liberation, so I won't hurt anyone, so I won't hurt you."
"Me?" She whispers.
"Yes," I sigh. "When my powers activated, all I could think about is what if that attack was aimed at you and not the dummy." She gasps. "I just kept thinking what if I hurt you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened." I start to wipe away her tears, but she jolts away from me and wipes them herself.
"I can't believe that." She sniffles. "Do you really care about me that much?"
"Of course I do, you're my best friend."
"Alright, alright, I believe you." Emiko starts to laugh and rub her eyes. "I'll forgive you-"
"That's great-"
"On one condition." Her voice suddenly gets cold again. All I can do is nod slowly. "Promise me that you don't like that girl Anako, like more than just a friend."
"No, I don't." I answer honestly. "Why would I like her? That's such an odd promise." Emiko just sighs, looking rather dejected. I don't have the guts to question her. So what if I like Anako more than just a friend? Why would Emiko care so much? It's not like her to be so invested in my love life.
I don't tell anyone that Emiko and Anako know about Team Liberation. Just in case Yuuka takes the opportunity to beat me up. She doesn't even need her powers, she'd just use her fists. We start patrolling our new territory. This is a regular thing apparently.
"I have a question," I ask Yuuka one day on patrol. While we can talk mentally, both of us agree that it's more comfortable for us to talk out loud.
"Shoot."
"So Emiko told me that you can never the word psycho about a psychic because that's offensive. But why is the psychic nightclub called Psycho?"
"Well," Yuuka takes a deep breath. "Psychics can use the word, but not normal people. Psycho implies that all psychics are insane. A lot of psychics being mentally ill has nothing to do with our powers, that's just life dealing us an extra shitty hand. That word gets thrown at any person who dares reveal their powers. We're just taking that word back, and putting it on a nightclub, so that it won't hurt us."
"That's pretty brave," I mutter. "I still have a lot to learn about being a psychic."
"You learn that by just existing." She nods slowly. "By living as yourself, just accepting yourself for who you are."
"Yeah, that makes sense."
"The thought of being a psychic never occurred to you?" Kenta asks me while on patrol.
"No." I shake my head. "I assumed it was just Yuuka. She's always the oddball in the family. Does it run in families?"
"I've never met any two psychics that are related, so I can't answer that."
"That's fair." I nod. "It was a shock when my powers appeared."
"Quick question, are you gay? In any way. I mean, not straight."
"No." I answer quickly. "Did I give you the impression that I was?"
"Oh no, just wondering." There's a pause. "It's mostly just because you're related to Yuuka. You know what she's like." He looks at my face. "On second thought, just ask her yourself."
"How's gang stuff going for you?" Takumi asks on another patrol.
"Good, I guess." I find it hard to meet his eyes. I feel like they pierce right through me, leaving me at his mercy.
"Ah, don't say that." He smacks me on the back playfully. "You defeat the boss all by yourself last time."
"I mean that's true-"
"Have you given a thought as to why we're doing this?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. I only joined Team Liberation to protect Yuuka. I didn't join them because I believed in what they're doing. Takumi asked me to think about it. There's no point in me being here if that's the case, that's what he told me. So, fearing I'd get kicked out, that's exactly what I did.
"I have, exactly." I chuckle nervously. "I agree with you. Yuuka's explained some of it to me. Psychics really do get dealt the best hand in life. I know that some people don't get the choice in the matter. But joining a gang won't solve your problems. They only just create misery. Sure, look at Yuuka, she felt so trapped in Black Flag because of Raiden. Who knows how many people feel just like her? I can't stand the thought of it."
Takumi nods very slowly. He pats my arm very gently.
"Yeah," he mutters. "You got it. We just want to help people, Kaoru. Gangs only create violence just by existing. That cycle needs to be broken, and we're going to be the ones to do it. You're exactly right. We need to get rid of gangs, create more options. No one deserves to feel trapped. If only we could do it everywhere."
I knock on Yuuka's door in the middle of the night. My phone says it's two in the morning, and the both of us are still awake. I still knock on the door because Yuuka loves her privacy. She mentally tells me to come in. She's lying face-down on the bed, her preferred position. I walk in, and sit on the seat next to her sewing machine.
"Can't sleep?" She asks, more out of a sense of obligation if nothing else. She knows that neither of us can sleep at the minute. She's only home because we fought a gang today, a habit we've formed. She spends all of her time at Poppo Time. When Yuuka came to live with us, I imagined she'd sleep here more than one night a week. But apparently, she doesn't mind sleeping on Yusei's couch if she isn't technically mooching off him twenty-four-seven.
"Nope." Yuuka finally turns her face so she's looking at me, while her body doesn't move at all.
"What's on your mind? That's normally why you don't sleep." She knows I'm an overthinker. I think that's why she probably doesn't listen to my thoughts. It would just give her anxiety. But that means I'm stuck alone with my crippling anxiety. Yuuka doesn't sleep because she keeps having maybe the same three dreams, and I normally get subjected to them. How many times will Yusei lie motionless in a pool of blood? I can recount the details of what happened in Yuuka's mysterious trip to the Satellite because she recounts it in her dreams every third night.
"I just keep thinking about that Miguel guy and his friends." I answer honestly. "I always thought that gang leaders were these horrible mafia bosses who needed to be taken down. But, Miguel's friends, they…" I pause. "They seemed so normal. They were cheering him on, and supporting him when they lost. They didn't care that they had lost territory, all that mattered was that they had each other."
"Well, Takumi and I are technically gang bosses."
"I thought you weren't like the rest of them." Yuuka pouts. I think she's been feeling the same way. "I can't help but feel like we've destroyed something very important. I heard something on the news a while ago. People normally turn to gangs to have a sense of family. You said a lot of psychics are in gangs here, that makes a lot more sense now. It makes me sad just thinking about it."
I thought this was a good idea, but now I'm not so sure. Surely we're hurting just as many people as we're helping. We're ruining a community, just to help it.
"That's just the way things are," she sighs heavily. I realise that Yuuka knows that all too well. Most of the people surrounding Yuuka know her because of gangs. I wonder if she comprehends the fact that she's denying people that same opportunity.
"It doesn't have to be that way!" I raise my voice ever so slightly, not so much that it wakes our mom up. "We shouldn't be treated in such a way that we turn to gangs."
"I know," she sighs again, "There's not much we can do."
"You keep saying that. There must be something we can do." There's a hefty silence between us. "But still, I can't help but feel like what we're doing is wrong."
"You're free to leave anytime." Her face goes completely neutral like normal, with just a hint of bitterness. "I've told you that."
"Not until I can guarantee your safety." I stand up. Regardless of how I feel about what we're doing, I need to make sure she's safe. "Keep your eyes open. There's someone out there who's got their eye on you." I start to walk towards the door. "Just, keep safe, okay?"
"I will," Yuuka says before pushing her face back into her pillow. I leave her room and close the door behind me. I sigh.
If only there were a straightforward way. To help all psychics without hurting some of them first. But who am I? A Duel Academy student who's greatest accomplishment is finding the sister he pushed away by random chance, only because his friend helped. No one would even listen to me anyway.
No.
This system isn't doomed to fail us. I can do something to help. I just have to keep trying. Keep pushing until I can change the system from the inside. That's what I have to do.
I end up getting a D-Wheel. Admittedly, it was somewhat of an impulse buy. Yuuka won a riding duel against Miguel from the Phantom Riders, and ever since, I haven't stopped thinking about what it would be like to do one. Especially since I heard Yuuka's thoughts during it, and how freeing it felt. Yuuka makes fun of me, claiming that I'm copying her by getting a D-Wheel. One thing Yuuka didn't tell me about is how hard it was to learn how to ride a D-Wheel. I would have given up, had I not spent all my savings on a new shiny D-Wheel. Yuuka suggests that I go roller skating. I tell her that's lame. Then, she implies that inviting Emiko would make it better. I know Emiko's my friend, and that would obviously mean having a better time. But the way she said it, like she knows something I don't, which is incredibly difficult when I can hear her thoughts. It makes very uncomfortable. The worst part of it is all that Yuuka says is that she's not allowed to tell. I thought there was supposed to be no secrets, but here we are.
I invite Anako to the rink with us. Mostly because Yuuka is with Emiko and I. Anako's been relying on me to get Yuuka to be around her. Apparently she's too nervous to just ask Yuuka to hang out. Surely, it can't be that hard.
The skating is tough. I spend most of my time just slowly making my way around the rink in circles. Emiko mostly just laughs at me as I cling to both her and the railings around the edge. I'm suddenly hyper aware of her hand that's constantly placed on my back. It's not uncommon for her to do this. Emiko is not unafraid of platonic intimacy, which is something that confuses me, but I just can't say no to her. Meanwhile Yuuka is skating very slowly behind us, bored out of her mind.
"Kaoru!" I hear Anako shout. Yuuka's about to be less bored. Emiko immediately leaves me alone and drags Yuuka around the rink. I didn't consider that Emiko would be mad if I invited Anako. It's not like I asked Anako on a date here. Anako would have rathered a date with Yuuka. "Hey, how's it going?" She asks once she finally walks around the rink in the spectator area.
"I don't know." I try focusing on a line behind Anako's head on the wall.
"So, it's worth me paying the money then?" She nods, understanding how badly this is going.
"Oh yeah definitely."
I skate alone for a few minutes, watching Emiko and Yuuka making quick laps around me. As soon as Anako comes out into the rink, she makes a beeline for Yuuka. I watch all three of them nearly falls as Anako trips onto them. Emiko heads right back to me, no surprise there.
"Why is she here?" Emiko places her hand a little too forcefully on my back. "I thought you said you'd try to keep her away from me, and you invited her."
"In fairness, she didn't seem interested until I told her Yuuka was going." Confusion seeps across her face, before slowly fading into suspicion.
"So, you didn't fall when I was gone?" Emiko changes the topic of conversation immediately.
"No, but I was moving about as fast as a snail." This makes Emiko laugh, and then she playfully slaps me a little too hard, which nearly makes me fall. Luckily I don't because I would have fallen flat on my face.
Suddenly, Yuuka's aura shifts. I sense Anako's aura changing back to normal, but she definitely just took on Yuuka's aura. Is Anako asking to help with Team Liberation?
"Does Yuuka know that we know about…"
"Gods no."
"Did she just-"
"I don't know."
"Can't you hear Yuuka's thoughts?"
"Only sometimes." I sigh. "You know how secretive she is."
"Good point."
We continue to skate around. My skating actually improves eventually. No thanks to Yuuka and Anako, who spent the entire time talking to each other. I'm glad Anako got what she wanted out of this experience.
Yuuka definitely knows that Anako knows. All she does is glare at me. Her aura darkens. She makes a point of slamming her bedroom door. I just sigh and go to bed.
The sound of a phone ringing wakes me up. It's not my phone. I'm trying to remember what happened before I fell asleep. Yuuka and I had an insightful conversation after she had a nightmare and I couldn't sleep. Then, after getting a bit too emotional, she stormed off and went for a ride. After I told her not to. I feel my throat swelling up. I know it's her. Normally I can feel her blocking her thoughts, but now, it's a dull nothingness.
I hear my mom moving around in her room. I sigh. I know it's Yuuka, I can feel it. By the time I get dressed and open my door, my mom is standing at it about to knock. Tears are rolling down her face.
Yuuka's been in an accident. They said she was in the middle of a riding duel. She wasn't wearing proper riding gear. They've brought her into the hospital.
A riding duel at four in the morning? I know Yuuka. I know she wouldn't have participated in one in that stage, just in case her powers activated. This was clearly an ambush. Was it Raiden? I literally told her not even three hours ago that I thought he was up to something. I feel my rage building up. I smack the kitchen counter in frustration. The sink breaks within an instant. At the sound of spraying water, my mom runs into the kitchen. She manages to fix it enough that water stops pouring everywhere. We just go the hospital as we are.
Yuuka is in a more stable condition by the time we arrive. Her helmet is completely shattered. The pictures of her D-Wheel show that it's completely totalled. My entire body trembles and I feel vomit slowly rising from my stomach. If that's what her helmet looks like, what does Yuuka look like? She didn't even grab her shoulder pads, or elbow pads, or knee pads. What was she thinking?
I can't believe I'm stuck in this place again. I follow my first instinct and call Yusei. If worst comes to worst, as much as I can't bear that thought but it's something Raiden Kimura made me consider once, I suppose Yuuka would want him to know.
He arrives within twenty minutes, which is pretty impressive considering I woke him up. This time he's come without Jack and Crow. My mom sees him arrive, and gives him an understanding nod. Yusei's just as much family as we are, and she understands that.
The doctors come out not much later, telling us that Yuuka will be okay, if only a bit scraped up with a concussion. The tension that was thick in the air finally dissipates. The hospital staff tell us to come back when it's visiting hours, now that Yuuka is in a stable condition.
"Yusei, you're a handyman, aren't you?" Kasumi asks, staring off into the distance at nothing in particular. He answers yes. "You wouldn't happen to know how to fix a sink, would you?" She chuckles half-heartedly. "Kaoru broke the sink this morning because he was in such a panic."
We arrive again as soon as visiting hours hit. The staff let us through, no problem. My mom says the number of each room that we pass, until we reach Yuuka's. I see a smile on my mom's face as she pops her head in the door. Yuuka must be awake.
"Three minutes after visiting hours start, quite impressive, Ms. Hattori." I hear a man's voice. "May I talk to you outside please?"
"Of course," my mom says as she fully opens the door, letting me enter the room and the doctor leave. I take the empty seat beside Yuuka's bed.
I get my first good look at Yuuka. It takes all of me not to gasp. I thought she wasn't awake before we arrived. All I felt from her mind was a dull nothingness. Even now, that's all I feel. Bandages cover her entire head, but not her face. Her entire arms are covered, from the end of the hospital nightgown sleeves right down to the hands. I notice faint traces of blood poking through parts of the bandages.
"Do you know who did it?" I ask, certain that this was an ambush. Why else would two psychic duelists be on the highway dueling at four in the morning? Why else would she have sustained so much damage? Who else have that much of a vendetta against my sister that they would risk her life like that?
"No," she closes her eyes slowly. She sways ever so slightly. Even just saying the word no seems like it took a lot out of her.
"Security took your D-Wheel. They're making an investigation into the crash." She doesn't look like she's listening to me. I don't even think she can hear me. "Yuuka, was it…" Raiden? The door opens before I can finish the question. Our mom comes back into the room and sits down.
"Good news, honey. If your CT scan comes back okay, you might get discharged tomorrow." She puts her hand over Yuuka's, trying to calm her down. Yuuka looks panicked, like everything around her has finally made itself known to her. Our mom looks at her bandages and tuts. "You weren't wearing your protective gear." She sighs. "You should really get some riding leathers."
Our Mom keeps talking but Yuuka just keeps staring in front of her. Her brows furrow every now and again. Her mind still feels dull. No matter how hard I try to reach out, I get nothing. I can't stand it. Yuuka just seems so broken. I see her in front of me, but she might as well be a million miles away.
"I'm going to go home and study." I stand and leave without looking back. I can't stay here if it means looking at her like that.
I get home and just sit there. I take as many deep breaths as I can. Anako has already left. On the ride home, I thought of Team Liberation. Maybe Anako will finally get to help. Yuuka won't be in any shape to help for a very long time.
I start shaking. Nothing can control the shaking that takes over my body. This is how Yuuka describes her anxiety. An all-controlling shaking that refuses to stop until you give out. I hold my hands together, hunch up into a ball, just like she said. I take more deep breaths.
I don't know why I think this. But I want to call Takumi. So I do.
"How are you holding up?" He asks.
"Not well," I sigh. "She's in a bad state. Her concussion is pretty bad, she's disorientated as all hell."
"But she's okay?"
"Yeah, she'll survive. It will just take her awhile to recover."
"It sucks, doesn't it?" Takumi says out of the blue.
"What?"
"Not being able to protect her." There's a pause. "As much as you want to, you can't."
"What do you do?" I start fiddling with my hands, I put him on loudspeaker. "You're not new to this game, at least from what I've heard."
"Go on the offense, Kaoru."
"Offense?"
"The best defense is a good offence." He sighs. "Attack them before they attack you. Why do you think that only one gang has approached us so far? Because that's the way we want it."
"Makes sense."
"Of course it does, that's the truth."
"Takumi, can I ask you a favour?"
"Shoot."
"Can you help me find whoever did that to her?"
"Of course I will."
"I'll be in school, and knowing Yuuka, she'll go looking for him herself." I rub my hands on my face. "Just get something in for me. A punch, a duel, anything, I don't care."
Takumi laughs, it echoes from my phone's speaker.
"You're really worked up about this, aren't you?"
"Takumi, my sister was attacked by a psychic for the second time in a few months and put in hospital again. If you're not worried, I'm worried about you."
There's a pause.
"Yuuka is my best friend, Kaoru." I hear him take a deep breath. "If you think I don't care, you have another thing coming. I obviously want to get back at this guy, just as much as you do. I'll tell you something. When you're in a gang, you might as well be blood. You fight because you have to protect everyone you love. We're going to get back at this guy. I'd do the same for you."
"For me?" I echo. "You care about me that much?" My thoughts start going wild.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"I guess you're right," I chuckle nervously. "Uh, my mom's about to come home. I gotta hang up."
"Alright, I'll talk to you later."
"Bye," I choke out.
"Bye."
Silence. It's just me and my thoughts, which are currently going crazy. I take a deep breath. And another.
Why is Takumi caring about me such a big deal?
Why do I care about that so much?
I start to pace around the living room.
Takumi's just a friend. Correction, he's just Yuuka's friend, and I know him because we're in a gang together. That's only why he cares. Of course. No other reason. None at all.
Why do I want him to care? Why do I already care? He's just a guy that I know. He's no different to Shinji. Who am I kidding? Takumi's great. He's strong, he's caring, he's a leader, he has such strong principles and he follows them, he has this effortlessly cool energy. If someone said he wasn't admirable, they'd be lying.
I care too much, but why?
I remember Anako's word. I asked her to describe a crush, because I was never sure if I've had one. I thought I liked Emiko, but I never did. I thought I should, so I thought I did. But no, now I see that I was completely wrong. I never liked Emiko. Because...
I like Takumi Chiba. More than I absolutely ever should. It's not even a platonic like. I have a crush on Takumi Chiba.
"Oh gods," I whisper. "I like Takumi." I finally admit to myself out loud.
Not only do I like Takumi, but I like a boy.
A thought enters my head. A thought that has never been there before. Something which I never considered. Am I gay?
I sit back down on the couch. I take as many deep breaths as I can. This is a lot to comprehend. Not only is the possibility of me being gay suddenly a thing. But I think I have a crush on my sister's best friend. Oh, I am in trouble. Big time.
A/N: Part 2 coming next week!