Rumors of the mystical ancient tunnel beneath the Hanuman Dhoka had finally reached the ears of Scrooge McDuck, and he was determined to find King Pratap Malla's secret stash of gold.
"So yoo're completely confident ye can get us tae Kathmandu in under an hour?"
"Uhhhhh, yep, yep! Yessiree I can definitely do that! Flying you two love birds over the mountaintops will be a breezey-breeze!"
Scrooge and Goldie looked over at each other for a moment before looking back at their pilot. "Look, Captain, um..."
"Foghorn!"
"Captain Foghorn. This isn't a romantic getaway, here. It's a treasure hunt. Do you get that?" Goldie could feel herself getting overly frustrated at their ridiculously odd host.
The Captain blinked one of his eyes a few times before finally responding. "Of course, of course! Uhhhh, yep yep, it's all the same to me!" He waddled towards the cockpit and climbed in to get ready.
Goldie looked over at her partner and adjusted her cap. "Are you kidding me with this guy? You're crazy rich! How can you not have a pilot that isn't so...so weird?"
"Look, O'Gilt, it's nae 'at Ah cannae afford better, it's just 'at Ah didnae know Captain Bounty had retired!" Scrooge motioned towards him. "He's got a pilot's license, what else dae ye need?"
"Preferably a pilot who blinks with both eyes," Goldie grumbled and slowly reached for the passenger seat.
Scrooge smiled - he couldn't help but find her obstinance a bit cute - and climbed up into the seat, squeezing in next to her. "So long as we get there it's all th' same, right?"
She rolled her eyes in response and wiggled around in the now cramped space. "Personally, I'd like to get there in one piece."
"What's got ye so rattled? Usually ye love dangerous little hiccups on our adventures." Scrooge wiggled his butt in the seat and settled his goggles over his eyes. "Gettin' too old for this?"
The plane started up and Goldie gripped Scrooge's arm next to her like a lifeline. She was already frustrated by this tiny plane and weird pilot, but Scrooge's absolute calm was putting her even more on edge.
He smirked at her discomfort and reached over to place her goggles over her eyes as well - she wanted to rip his head off.
"The fact that you're not rattled makes me think you're going senile, Old Man."
His smirk turned to a frown at that comment and Goldie finally felt like she was on top again. Where she was supposed to be.
After a rocky take off, they traveled in silence for a good twenty minutes - Goldie was still squeezing his arm while Scrooge sat comfortably, one leg over the other. He couldn't help but wonder if her little freak out was part of some plan...but usually she tried to trick him in a much more laid back way. This was almost embarrassing. The thought that her fear was legitimate briefly crossed his mind - but no...this was Goldie O'Gilt! Since when did she fear anything?
He figured the best way to find out was to get her talking. "So dae ye have any plans for yer share of Pratap Malla's treasure?"
Goldie turned towards him, trying not to focus on the deafening wind blowing past them. "Considering we don't even know what kind of treasure it'll be -"
"We know it'll be gold!"
"...it's hard to say." On a reflex, she leaned towards her traveling buddy more and laid her head onto his shoulder. "Maybe I'll start acting like you and save up."
Scrooge blinked at Goldie's sudden show of affection and took a deep breath before moving his arm up and around her shoulder. Maybe this wasn't a romantic getaway, but...that didn't mean they couldn't share an intimate moment or two.
Or maybe he just missed being with her. Or maybe he was lonely. It'd been almost five years since their last shared adventure and Scrooge was starting to wonder if they should learn to keep in contact. Write letters, swap phone numbers. Something of the sort.
He closed his eyes for a moment so he could properly enjoy this moment with Goldie, when the biplane started to shake.
"What th'-!" Scrooge turned around to look at their pilot, who had very clearly fallen asleep at the wheel. "Wha-!? Foghorn!"
"AH?!" The Captain's head shot up as Scrooge's scream woke him and he gripped the controls like a lifeline. "Oop, oop, oopsies! Thanks for that, Mr. McDuckles!"
Scrooge continued to stare - an eye twitching under his goggles. He turned back to see Goldie looking angrier than he'd seen her in a long time.
"Ae'm sure 'at was just a one time thing-"
"Oh, no, you don't!" Goldie pointed a finger at his chest. "We're not even halfway there and he's already almost killed us!"
As Scrooge was about to object, the plane started to shake again - followed by a slight dip towards the mountains below them. Goldie screeched and reached back to slap their pilot across the face. And for once, Scrooge wasn't going to stop her.
She lifted up Foghorn's head and slapped him so hard his clearly-false-eyeball popped out - unfortunately landing right in Scrooge's hand.
"WHA WHA?" Foghorn looked down at Goldie's angry expression and started to sweat. He grabbed the controls again. "I-I don't know how these things happen, I really surely don't! But I'm all good now!"
Scrooge stared at the disgusting object in his hand. "This...is this a marble?"
Goldie turned back towards him. "What?"
"It's nae a glass eye, it's just...a marble." He held it up. "Made for children."
Once more, almost on cue, the plane started to dip, and Goldie and Scrooge both turned towards Foghorn to see that he hadn't fallen asleep this time - rather, he had only just noticed the loss of his eye and was starting to freak out. "This feels very very badly bad! I am not a happy man right now, nosiree! This does not feel good or nice! I'd like to-"
Goldie grabbed him again and shoved the marble back into his eye socket, pushing onto Foghorn's chest so he'd fall back into the seat. Before he could even react, she reached past him and grabbed two familiar bags that were placed next to him.
"At least this idiot's good for something," Goldie mumbled, checking the bags quickly before moving back to her shared seat with Scrooge.
"Are those-?"
"Mhmm," Goldie said, handing one to him and putting the other one on. "We're done here."
Scrooge stared at the pack for a moment before looking up at her - a little nervous that she was now standing. "What dae ye mean, done-?!"
In the next second, she'd grabbed him by the jacket collar and thrown him over the side of the plane, following suit a few moments later. Scrooge's screams were drowned out by the bellowing winds around them, but Goldie rolled her eyes and picked up speed so she could glide closer to him.
With only a minute to spare, she grabbed Scrooge and the backpack he was still holding on to and fixed it so he was wearing it properly.
"Goldie ye backstabber! Yoo're gonnae get me killed!" Scrooge shouted - even though he knew she couldn't hear a word of it.
She smirked anyway, enjoying the image of his whiskers flying all around his face, and leaned closer to briefly kiss his beak before pulling the release for his parachute.
Scrooge flew up at the parachute launched, and Goldie looked off into the distance - Kathmandu was within sight, all she had to do was soar and coast and float as close to it as possible to get her treasure.
Meanwhile, Scrooge was wiggling around angrily, unable to get free from the parachute straps and knowing that he shouldn't try. Yes, that biplane was a mess and that pilot was an incompetent idiot. But she didn't always have to just do whatever she wanted! There could've been a discussion! Or at least some sort of heads up! But nooooo! And now he was going to be stuck in the middle of Nepal without any food or water.
As always, that woman was proving to be more trouble than not. Scrooge glanced down to see her figure in the distance gliding towards the east - she still hadn't activated her parachute and he knew from experience that she was getting dangerously close to death. His heart started to race ten times faster than before as he continued to watch her - but just moments later she finally activated her chute.
He breathed out a sigh of relief and closed his eyes. She'd pulled his chute so early that he was going to be in the air for at least another 5 or 10 minutes - looks like she was going to get the treasure all by herself, once again. Maybe next time he'd know better than to trust a no-good, backstabbing, greedy grifter!
Captain Foghorn is from the Ducktales 1987 episode: Bermuda Triangle Tangle. He's super weird. But it's a weird episode.
EDIT: He officially appeared in DT17! In the Christmas episode he gets in Scrooge's way when he's trying to talk to Goldie. Really good stuff, my heart was all a-flutter.
In the episode, Scrooge says she threw him out of "an airship" but then describes it as a biplane. Which is it, Scrooge? Better get your story straight.
Also, I went back and forth on this idea...but I thought about having Goldie be so nervous about the plane 'cause she's pregnant. I decided against it, but, y'know. That would've been quite the time for Scrooge to find out.