The Legend of Zelda
Link's Diary
(Ocarina of Time)
Disclaimer: I don't own Link. I wish I did. Because then he could clean my house. And cook me food. And bake me cakes. D:
And Link would like to say a couple of words:::
Link:Hey, Alias-Hawk. I'm not pretendingto be this hot. If, (AND IF ONLY) I had a clone, I'd totally go gay for myself. I'm THAT hot. Hey. Look at me in Twilight Princess. See if that'd change your mind...because…I look pretty sweet when I'm looking in my reflection in the mirror shards. They're just so shinyI can't resist them. And-
Me:Link, I'm sure that's not what she meant. She probably meant that—
Link: What. What did she mean? Are you taking HER SIDE?! You KNOW that this totally hurts my feelings. I mean, after all I did for you…
Me: You haven't done anything, stupid.
Link…Oh. I will. Some day. When you least expect it...muahahaha…hahaha...HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Me:Shut up. Do you want me to take Jeffory, Simon, Wallace and Cletus away from you?
Link: in a state of shock…
Me: Allllllriiiiighttyy then…
Ahem. Sorry about that. Link just wanted to get his feelings across….although it took up about three fourths of a page.
Okaaayyy…so on
with the story:::
Part Three: Inside Jabu-Jabu's Belly
Day-6
Okay. So, I had a dream. It showed me a HORSIE! And that freaking chicken-girl. So I walked all around Hyrule, listening for that girl's ANNOYING voice. I heard it, and it got louder and louder, and I found her!! She has a horse. I want it so badly… but it always runs away. I scream after it, "wait horsie, you're shiny! I just want to pet youuuu!!!" It never lets me pet it. It makes me sad.
I'll just go to that place called Lake Hylia. I hear they have Zoras. Maybe they'll be nice and let me ride them underwater. They can do spins and everything.
Day 8-
So. I'm at Lake Hylia. Stupid Zoras. Their king (who is FAT) wants me to rescue his stupid daughter. Ugh. I'm tired of this. Do I have a sign or something on me that says "Seven Year Old Hero-Pants
Will Do Anything You Tell Him To, And Does Retarded Missions For No Reason (Or Money) At All. Inquire Within."?
Then, all of a sudden he disappeared. There was a Zora, so I went over to ask him what happened to him.
He ignored me and pushed me off the cliff instead. When I hit the water, I saw shinies. I picked them up. He got impressed and gave me another shiny thingy, he called it the Silver Scale. It lets me hold my breath longer underwater. Something tells me that this next mission…won't be so fun.
Under water, there was a pretty sweet hole. I went inside, and it warped me in front of a bottle. Princess Whatever said she was trapped in a huge fish . I showed it to her dad, because that's HIS job, not mine. HE should be saving her. NOT me. But guess what? For some reason I'm not aware of, I'm ONCE AGAIN saving and fixing lives. Why ME?
…He opened up a door. It lead to…you GUESSED IT, the freaking HUGE fish. I gave him a little fish, and he sucked it up…but he sucked me up in the process.
Whatever. I'm sleeping here. Even if it's inside a fish. But…I'll just try not to think about it.
Day-9
I found Princess Whatever. She wants me to carry her on her back. What the heck. She's FAT and HEAVY and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be paying for this when I'm old and (GASP) ugly.
Day-10
I found the shiny, beat the boss man, once AGAIN the glowy thing said it had candy and abducted me, I saved the day…AND GOT ANOTHER SHINY!!!! I NAMED IT BERNARD.
And now Princess Whatever wants to marry me. Uh, okay? We're engaged? Because of BERNARD?! He betrayed me. But he was so shiny that I just couldn't resist, and I accepted her marriage proposal. Or her trickery of sorts. Did someone TELL HER about my secret love for all things shiny? I think there's a special someone that needs HER WINGS PLUCKED. SLOWLY. AND PAINFULLY. Whatever. It's not like I'm gonna ACTUALLY marry her. There's someone special I'm reserving THAT for.
So..I heard some people talking about the Temple of Time. What is this Temple of Time? I wonder if it has special powers. Like, powers that could send me further into time…when I'm 17? Then I don't have to do any of this nonsense, and I'll be free to do whatever I wish, and marry her.
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So! How'd you like it? Chapter FOUR coming soon!!!
Some things to think about---
-Will Link ever reveal who she is?
- Will Link get his wish, and INSTANTLY become 17?
-And will I ever think of better cliffhangers?
Until next time…
Adios!
I