Tapestry, Book 2, Chapter 4
I was curled up in a chair, facing a set of windows that overlooked the back garden, an open book in my lap, musing. Mourning.
...gods...
Haunting the second and third floors of the mansion the rest of the day hadn't been difficult. Poking into small libraries, finding music and media rooms and otherwise staying out of Treize's way had been my goal, and by the grace of the gods, I had been able to accomplish it.
When I stumbled into Treize's media room, at first I was surprised; then, realizing no one else was around, I snatched all the remote controls, sank into one of the leather couches and watched as many feeds as humanly possible. It was the first time in weeks that I had been able to see anything about Earth and the colonies; hungrily, I took full advantage, my gaze never leaving the screens.
Several hours later I left the media room, sober and shaken, convinced that even with all my experience I never actually understood people at all. When I reached Wufei's room I let myself in, walked over to the windows and sank into a large leather chair, alternating between dejected and petrified. I dropped my head into my hands and rubbed my temples, wondering how on earth I could have gone through medical school, been in the armed forces, ordered and used actual intelligence and never once reflected on how the public at large operated.
I was such a fool.
When people thought or talked about crime, it was either very personal - meaning they imagined massive, hulking thugs with their faces covered by tight hoods, enormous guns pointed right at some poor soul's head, waiting for money or something else to be dumped in front of them - or it was impersonal, meaning they imagined huge amounts of graft and corruption that followed most governmental officials like ants to a picnic or flies to a dung heap.
In my world, both cases were absolutely true. But in the public's mind, crime happened to other people and in other cities; the vidfeeds made that clear. Treize's government was corrupt, of course, just like any other. But the aura of the criminal never clung to Treize or any of his Specials; not only that, when Treize spoke, people listened. Plus, they believed whatever he said without question.
Why?
The answer popped into my mind as soon as I phrased the question:
Because in their world - in my world - Treize was their unquestioned leader. Treize wasn't corrupt, only some of his government officials were. Treize and his Specials were the shining examples of all that was right and just and good with their world.
How incredibly ironic and not at all amusing. Those same people refused to listen to me, a member of their own species, but they would listen to Treize, someone who wasn't even remotely human.
What had shaken me down to my toes was a world news vid, a retrospective of the past several months. Both Wufei and I had been spotlighted, characterized as criminals - as the massive, hulking thug types - and our faces shown again and again, probably so people wouldn't forget us. That was bad enough, but there was another piece that was twice as disturbing. The newscaster, a smiling, generic type, was in front of this mansion, holding an exclusive interview with Treize:
"The illustrious General Treize Khushrenada decided to rehabilitate and reform both the notorious gundam pilot Chang Wufei and the infamous guerilla leader, Sally Po. Under his tutelage, he said that he truly believed they could become useful members of society.
:cut to a sound bite with the General: 'It will take time and patience, possibly years, but I believe it will be worth it in the end.'
Society lauds his brave attempt, and we support him in his effort."
Horrible. That was just horrible. The gist of it was that the world - MY world - agreed and accepted that report at face value. No one fought, no one argued with it, no one opposed it - so therefore, Guerilla Leader Po was gone, vanished, dead to the world. My voice had been silenced. Everyone had moved on, walked on by.
I mourned for my old life, blinking back tears. Now there was no choice. Now I had to move on, too.
The back garden was lovely. Its colors and flora, seemingly uncontrolled, were discreetly contained within a barrier. Bitter, I looked at the bougainvillea climbing over the gates to the neighbor's yard and envied its ability to scale the walls without being pulled back inside the perimeter.
That's only because over ninety-nine percent of the bush is still IN the garden, Po. When and if you leave, you want to be completely, totally GONE, leaving nothing of yourself behind.
Right. And I won't be leaving, not without Wufei.
Then how are you possibly going to make a new life for yourself? Are you going to do it here? Watching Treize with Wufei and seeing them -
STOP -
"Oh, Sally - would you come downstairs, please? Dinner will be served shortly."
Blinking, I snapped my head around in the direction of Treize's voice. His voice, its timbre, broke me out of my reverie. I sighed. "Yes, Treize. I'm coming."
Grimacing, I snapped my book closed and dropped it on the nightstand next to Wufei's bed as I strode, reluctantly, out of the room. At this point my life was so terribly surreal it was almost painful.
Treize said he wasn't going to hurt me, but I didn't believe him. Why should I? Perhaps he wouldn't attack me physically, but there was plenty he could do otherwise. He had a long way to go to earn my trust. Plainly, whatever plan he had in mind for Wufei was not my business, which is what he told both Trowa and me.
Be honest, I silently admonished myself as I thumped down the stairs to dinner, aggrieved and unhappy. He basically told Trowa to fuck off and leave him and his alone. Period.
I hadn't come any closer to unraveling Trowa's mystery message, either, which had me worried. What WAS that emergency Trowa tried to warn me about? And even if I found out what it was, could I really do anything to prevent whatever it was from happening?
"Sally?"
"Yes, yes , Treize, I'm coming." I quickened my step, my thoughts turning caustic and black. No need to keep the leader of the free world waiting, Po, his arugula might wilt.
Both Treize and Wufei were in the dining room, waiting. Wufei looked exactly the same as the morning - same clothes, same expression, close to the same posture. The dragon was wrapped around his shoulders, its translucent head laying on one arm, undulating slightly. In fact, it actually looked as if it sighed, blowing a little air out its nostrils, straight down Wufei's sleeve, giving it a metaphysical flap.
Wufei pulled out a chair and sat down, his gaze fixed on his plate. Treize was at the opposite end of the table, setting a serving dish down and humming a little, clearly thrilled with the world in general. Both he and Wufei looked up and saw me at the same time.
"There you are," Wufei said, as if I had left and only recently returned from a long journey. The dragon perked up, its head bobbing around his shoulders. I could have sworn it was smiling.
"Hi, Wufei," I murmured, smiling a little as I slid into the seat next to him. He looked heartened and smiled back. The dragon made a small, questing sound, its head bobbing across my arm. My own stiffness melted away, softened by that gesture of friendship. Ah, Wufei ...
"Oh, Sally, hello! Have a seat, please. Would you like some wine? This is a marvelous dry white Bordeaux. I do believe it's one of the very nicest that we have in this collection. Here, let me pour some for you - "
Before I could answer, Treize leaned across Wufei and was pouring wine for me, a spotless white linen draped across his arm as if he was the wine steward. The dragon bobbed back, surprised. I stared at Treize in bewilderment, blinking, as wine sloshed into my glass.
Smiling, Treize finished with a flourish, placed the wine on the table and pet the dragon just once as he withdrew his arm. Immediately, Wufei's eyes unfocused and his head wobbled from side to side, unsteady. He recovered, shook his head slightly and looked at me, perplexed.
Treize, on the other hand, was beaming at Wufei from behind the boy's seat, as if Wufei had just done the most adorable thing he had ever seen. That, plus the sensual, leonine way he moved behind Wufei - grasping the back of his chair just so, sizing up Wufei's body and the dragon, his eyes half lidded - told me what kind of night was in store.
Ohgods. This meal was going to be SO weird.
"First, we'll start off with a small fruit salad. Next, we'll have a small bowl of minestra maritata, with small cups of sherbet to cleanse the palate in between. For our main course tonight we'll be served smoked salmon with capers and braised asparagus - which, I have been assured, will be cooked to perfection - not overdone, not underdone. Asparagus loses so much when not properly cooked, don't you agree?" Treize's intense, laser like stare cut right into me when he said that, an enormous smile on his lips. I could only nod helplessly and watch as he continued to talk, including both Wufei and I in his diatribe. "At any rate, our chef decided that we should also have a small rice dish along with the fish, which I have left to his discretion. To complete our meal, I have an absolutely exquisite dessert that I want to keep as a surprise. I do hope you like it," Treize enthused, settling into his seat at the head of the table. "But, as I'm sure you already know, the culinary aspect of a meal is not the only impact on the senses. Why, the entire setting is open to interpretation. Simply look at the exquisite china, placed with such care. And the floral centerpiece - not only a feast for your eyes, but the pleasant aroma of the tea roses lend their subtle fragrance to the total dining experience ..."
Treize continued to prattle on and on and on, about the wonderful flowers, the exquisite china, the magnificent crystal. It was all too strange - he NEVER acted like this.
Why is he babbling? I stared, smiling weakly and nodding, eventually flicking my gaze around and down, trying not to look too obvious. Is he on drugs? Is he already drunk?
He poured a small amount of wine for Wufei, earning a strange, strangled sound from him, then poured a glass for himself.
"Yes, Wufei?" he purred, an incredible, beaming smile never leaving his face, his eyes beautifully blue. "Please don't feel you need to drink the wine, after all. I poured some for you so that you could enjoy the bouquet, not so that you would feel that you had to drink it."
"Um ... okay ..." Wufei stammered. He looked at Treize, then at me, then back at Treize again, and finally down at his plate. He was undone, poor boy, confused, confounded, and as close to shock as someone could be without actually being unconscious.
Servants moved to the table and served the first course. Treize chatted on, talking about the gods knew what, I had no idea - I wasn't paying attention, and I simply prayed he wasn't paying attention to me. I did watch what he did to Wufei, though: touching Wufei's sensitive bare arm with long, lean fingertips, so terribly delicate; establishing eye contact, impossible to break; and saying his name over and over, caressing instead of stressing it. No wonder the boy was befuddled. I was having problems, and I was only watching over my soup.
My evil little voice chimed in. And there's nothing wrong with a little good, healthy voyeurism, is there, Po?
I was ready for it this time. No, especially not when I've been 'invited' to the performance, you nasty thing. Now shut up.
It was while the salad was being cleared and the main meal was being served that the sequence of events finally made some sense to me. Treize appeared to be delighted, drunk with happiness, but that only occurred after he and I spoke in the garden. Once he pulled Wufei against him, it looked as though a switch had been thrown. One moment, he was centimeters away from my face, telling me to calm down, and the next - after he held Wufei under his arm - gads, the next moment he puffed out his chest and was the most satisfied demon on the planet.
Hmm.
Frowning a little, I looked down at the table, trying to work this out. That meant that he discovered something about Wufei he didn't know before. What could that be? That had to be why Trowa was so upset - think, Sally, think. What did Trowa tell you about Wufei? What did he tell you about anything?
Hints of a conversation finally surfaced at the same time the salmon with capers was presented. Smiling my thanks to the server, I stabbed the side of the fish, perfectly done, and picked up a little of the sauce as parts of the conversation came back to me.
Is there nothing I can do? I cannot stand against Treize for Wufei - I'm not strong enough. And Wufei cannot stand on his own - he doesn't even know what's happening to him.
No, he does not. According to the written, Treize will have him. You are the balance for Wufei. You protect him.
Trowa - what? Wufei will ... what? what are you saying? What do you mean?
You must do all you can, even after the fact. The written shows ... his building up will strengthen you all.
Bone crushing sadness dropped over me. I looked at Wufei, sleeping soundly in the chair next to me, completely unaware, and felt totally defeated. The fight was already lost. There was no fight anymore - not really -
No, Sally. If you had lost the fight, I would not be speaking to you. I do not speak to humans. It is normally forbidden, on pain of destruction. You are not even anankha.
Then ... what are you saying? I don't understand.
It is not the end.
Of course it is. I closed my eyes against the storm that threatened to beat against my eyelids. Treize is going to have him. You've already said that.
Yes. And that is not the end.
...No...? Tiny, tiny hope flared.
No.
But ... why not? And what is anankha?
Anankha is the classification for those who have fallen outside the written ... for various reasons. Those who are anankha can be claimed by anyone. Those still in the written follow the written, but those outside it are outside my power. They follow only the Written, and are unpredictable - at least to some extent.
So. Because of what you told me before, about Treize - both Treize and Wufei are anankha, and are outside the written - but I am inside, and will follow it. Is that correct?
Yes. And the actions of anankha can only be surmised by the reactions of those around them, those that follow the written. Such as you.
One phrase reverberated in my head. When Trowa said, "Those who are anankha can be claimed by anyone," he wasn't talking about humans - he was talking about NON-humans. He meant that any anankha could be claimed by any non-human able to take that being. About the only thing a human could claim, from what I saw, was that they were weaker than non-humans.
I glanced at Wufei, then stabbed again at my fish, breathing faster. Now I thought I understood what that emergency was - Wufei was anankha, and Treize hadn't known I didn't understand why Trowa thought that was an emergency, but now Treize's drastic behavior change could at least be explained.
Wufei looked back at me, his eyes dark and troubled, speaking when spoken to, but otherwise retaining the mien of a confused, overwhelmed young man, one who knew something was happening, but was unsure what it was.
Gads. I so wanted to touch him, to comfort him and help him, but felt that I dare not. Non-humans were unpredictable, Treize doubly so, and I couldn't help Wufei if I was injured, or maimed, or dead, or -
Poh, no, no, Sally. I want you to touch him. I want you to give him as much of your approval and support as you possibly can. After all, if you don't, then you have no purpose. Isn't that true ... Guardian?
With my fork halfway to my mouth, involuntarily my gaze swept up to meet his and my blood turned to ice. GUARDIAN? No - purpose - what - ?
He smiled, never releasing my gaze. I swallowed around the sudden lump in my throat, put my fork down and slowly reached for Wufei's left hand, my own shaking, as the implications of my having no purpose and Treize's casual dropping of the title Guardian exploded in my brain.
Ohgods. Ohgodsohgodsohgodsohgods...
Treize lit up like a shining star. "And of course, we don't need to resume your studies until you wish, Wufei. Or really, not at all. Although I don't believe you'd be able to stay away from them forever."
" ... Erm ... no. No, I wouldn't - "
Warm, caring, and suddenly soft, Treize leaned closer to Wufei and confided, "Of course not. I know you, Wufei. I want you to be happy."
"I ... happy. Okay ..." Wufei pulled back from Treize, keeping the same distance between them, flustered. He dropped his gaze to his plate for a moment, focusing on his fish, then glanced at me. The look he threw at me was the same as a drowning man reaching for a lifeline; he was so open, so vulnerable, and so grateful I was there it was tragic. The dragon was so rattled that he wrapped around my right hand and up my arm, twining around me like a boa. It felt damned strange to have both Wufei and the dragon twist my hand.
Hmm. Perhaps you should eat left handed, Sally.
I felt slightly lightheaded as I stared at Treize and realized I had no clue whether he was joking or not. Still shaking, I kept my gaze glued on Treize and picked up my fork with my left hand, then clumsily started pushing food around my plate. Wufei was squeezing the life out of my hand. I realized there was no way I was ever going to be able to stab enough fish to actually be able to assuage my hunger. I figured I'd just die sitting up, if not from shock, then from slow starvation.
Wufei was doing the same thing I was doing, but he was doing it with his dominant hand. Treize noticed it immediately, and pounced. Nicely, but he pounced.
"Now, Wufei, please," he started casually enough, "you didn't eat this morning. Can't I at least encourage you to eat something at this point?"
Wufei glared at him, but it was a look borne of uncertainty and challenge, not fire. "We agreed, Treize. We agreed that you wouldn't tell me what to do until I made up my mind. Well, I haven't made up my mind yet."
"Yes, I know," Treize replied, softly, "and I'm not forcing you to do anything. I don't want to have to force you to do anything ever again. I don't - plan - to ever do that, Wufei. But I do care about you, and you cannot ask me to hide that just for the sake of your own sensibilities."
I was staring at both of them as if they had lost their minds. What in the hell were they talking about? Wufei's "sensibilities?" What kind of nonsense was THAT? If he doesn't want to eat, then he doesn't want to eat --
" - no - no, of ... of course, I can't ask you to do that," Wufei replied, his own voice hardly recognizable, it was so quiet.
I went completely still. This was definitely some kind of weird dance the two of them were doing in front of me, and not for my benefit, either. I didn't like it. I wanted to leave, but couldn't. The dragon was firmly attached to my arm, hand and wrist.
" ... please, Wufei."
"All right." Hunching a little, Wufei started to eat with his free hand, his left hand otherwise occupied.
"Thank you," Treize murmured, grateful. He resumed eating as well, and the expression on his face was tender and devoted. When Wufei looked down at his plate and concentrated on his food, I saw Treize's expression change to one of complete, unadulterated pleasure.
Gaaaaaaah - that was it, I did not need to see that. I continued to struggle with my salmon, stabbing a stray caper here and there, sawing away at the asparaguskeeping my gaze firmly fixed on my food. Now I definitely wanted out. Treize's version of warm and fuzzy was not working for me at all. I knew what was behind the mask.
"And Sally ... my offer is open to you, too. Anything you wish to do, within reason. I cannot, unfortunately, give you complete freedom, but I DO want you happy, Sally, truly, I do. The war is behind us - can we not simply ... leave it there?"
So eloquent, so touchingly delivered with a force behind it that gently suborned my will, I lifted my head and found myself drowning in Treize's powerful blue gaze. I had no defense, no shield, nothing and no one that would save me. Nothing came out of my mouth that came close to sounding like intelligent language.
"Um ... I ... uh ..."
"Life is so short, Sally - we must work together, not resist each other - don't you agree?"
That small, innocuous phrase - the "life is so short" one, with the emphasis on the word 'so' - stopped every functioning brain cell I had. I sat and stared at him, eyes wide and jaw dropped, not breathing, not blinking, not daring to move a muscle, having only one thought run through my head for a very long moment:
He just threatened to kill me. Threatened ... to KILL. ME.
I don't know why the idea shocked me as much as it did, because it wasn't something that was completely unexpected. After all, that was rather the point of war, wasn't it? One was supposed to kill one's enemies, and at least in theory, the resistance, which was me, was the enemy of the established political party, which was Treize.
Perhaps, though, it was because of my association with Wufei, or perhaps it was because I knew Treize wasn't human and couldn't be killed as a human - I had tried THAT and failed, to my total and utter chagrin. But now the point had been made that I could be killed quite easily, and perhaps it would bode well for me to watch my step -
Hush, Sally, hush. Now you're being silly and dramatic. You're valuable, my dear. Even if you didn't amuse me personally - which you do, by the way - you are very, very, valuable. Not just to me, but to him. Look.
I stared straight at Treize, not even trying to hide my shock and dismay. You - we - can - speak like this - ?
Yes, Sally. Now look at Wufei. This is a critical time of his life. He needs you now more than ever. Have patience, my dear. Your freedom will come again.
As I peered at Wufei, I realized that something was indeed different. His pallor was markedly better, and his expression was a little less lost, a little less angry. The dragon was still wrapped around my hand and arm, its head softly undulating around the fingers of my left hand, leaving a strange, tickling sensation on the back of my wrist. Further examination showed that the dragon, too, had a healthier color - almost a rosy glow - along its back. All that translated to a better, healthier Wufei. With his head down and his chopsticks flashing, Wufei was the picture of a doleful Chinese youth having dinner with his family.
This made little sense to me. Why did that happen? I leaned forward, looking toward Treize, feeling a furrow between my eyes, knowing my face was scrunched, quizzical. He looked back, patient, waiting for the question.
Feh, how annoying. Couldn't he at least have anticipated what I wanted to know? What kind of immortal was he, anyway? I don't understand, Treize. What happened?
Sally. Wufei will be just fine as long as you do as I say. And the way he said that - gads, he made it seem as if he had the magic formulae, that he knew the moods of the dragon better than the dragon knew it.
Suspicious, distrustful I took a sip of wine before I answered him. How can you be sure, Treize? How do you know?
His tone was amused and slightly chiding at the same time. Sally, my dear, I'll have you know that I've raised hundreds of Seiyruu's children personally with no ill effects. What on earth did Taru tell you? That I tortured them and let them die on a regular basis?
The way he phrased that made me feel awfully foolish. Well ... um ... you mean Trowa? No ... no, he didn't tell me anything like that ...
Oh, good. From the way you've been acting, I was afraid you thought I was going to EAT him.
EAT him?...no, of course I didn't think you were going to eat him! Scowling at my plate, I started to push my fish and rice around again, annoyed that Treize would think of something so ridiculous.
No? Sacrifice him to Satan, perhaps? I could feel him chuckle through the mental link between us.
NO. Why would you say something stupid like THAT? Glaring over at Treize, I savagely cut my asparagus with the side of my fork, speared it, then ate it.
Hmm. Maybe you thought I was going to experiment on him, and give him gills? He'd be cute with gills. Unfortunately, I don't believe he'd ever forgive me for that. What do you think?
"WHAT?" I was so exasperated at him that I forgot to address him mind-to-mind. My fork slipped from my fingers and clattered to my plate, making an awful sound in the sudden glaring silence.
Wufei nearly jumped to the ceiling. "What? What? What's wrong?" He looked around, trying to see what had startled me.
"Is something wrong, Sally?" Treize sounded so puzzled, so concerned, but it was impossible to miss the distinct sparkle in his eyes. "I know the asparagus was a little overdone, but surely it wasn't THAT awful?"
Wufei glowered. "Treize, be serious!"
Flames of color were climbing across my cheeks. How was I supposed to explain what happened?
Treize chuckled a little, and bowed toward Wufei and me. "I am sorry, Sally. Please forgive me. What's wrong, really?" He had achieved just the right tone with his 'I'm-so-concerned-for-your-welfare-Sally' voice that there was nothing I could do. If I didn't say something now, I would look and sound completely absurd.
"Oh ... excuse me ... please," I muttered, staring right at my plate, refusing to look at either one of them. "The ... um ... asparagus ... it was ... hot ..."
Wufei gave me an odd look, then went back to eating, his attention focused on his food.
Treize nodded at me, his eyes glittering. Why yes, he most certainly is.
I didn't bother to hide what I felt this time. A swift look up at Treize confirmed that yes, indeed, he did just think that nasty thought. Daggers stabbed at him from my eyes, but had no effect; he was still there, grinning at me. I hated him even more for continuing to live.
"I'm finished. May I go now?" Wufei's tenor broke the silence between us.
Treize gave him a fond smile. "You don't have to ask my permission, Wufei. Feel free to leave any time you wish."
Nodding curtly, Wufei stood up, dropped his napkin on his chair and bolted from the table, saying absolutely nothing to me.
I wanted to leave the table with him and was halfway out of my chair when I realized that I couldn't just LEAVE. My life had been irrevocably changed, and not for the better, by the man sitting to my right. Slowly, I sank back down, swiveled around and faced him. Treize was watching me with a thin, measured, stare, one that I'd seen before, one that made me nervous.
"May I - may I be excused, Treize?" Embarrassed, a slow flush worked its way across my face again; I felt as if I was asking my father for permission to leave the table, something that I hadn't done in years. A large part of me rebelled at asking him for permission to do anything at ALL; on the other hand, my common sense screamed that erring on the side of politeness with Treize was more sensible than making a complete and total ass of myself.
A knowing smile was on his lips, and the atmosphere in the room felt - lighter. "Yes, Sally, you may."
"Thank you, Treize." I smiled perfunctorily and fled, feeling Treize's amused and speculative gaze squarely between my shoulders.
I found Wufei in his room, thinking - or brooding - I wasn't really sure which he was doing. I only knew that once I was there, Wufei and I spent quite a bit of time hemming and hawing and feeling quite uncomfortable with each other.
This will only get worse until you say something. He will not say anything at all, you know that. Very passive resistant, that one.
Sighing, I shrugged, reaching for something neutral we could discuss. "This - this is a nice room, Wufei. I spent some time here, this afternoon, reading and looking at the garden."
"Thanks." He sounded shy and dry at the same time. "You - um - you already saw the bed, too. Last night. And this morning."
"Right. I did." I smiled, then fell silent for a few moments. During that time, I examined his external vital signs superstitiously."You know, Wufei ... you look better than you did," I offered. "I don't know if you're feeling any better, but ... but... you do look better." I gave him a wan smile.
"I do feel better," Wufei answered, his voice soft. "Coming back ... was a good thing."
The smile drifted away from my face. For him, perhaps; for me, not at all. "That's - that's good," I responded automatically, looking down at my lap. What he said in that phrase - and what I heard - was that he had already made his decision. He wasn't leaving.
" ... I'm sorry."
I glanced at him. The dragon was curled around his shoulders and Wufei's head was down, his shoulders hunched. He appeared sorrowful, guilty.
Oh, yes, I'm right, I know it. He's staying.
"I think ... I'll go find my room, Wufei. It must be around here somewhere. Perhaps you could help me." I felt sad, so sad. Part of me had been ripped apart and was bleeding. He was staying here, with Treize, and I couldn't fix it. I couldn't convince him to leave. He didn't want to. I had failed miserably.
"I'm not sure you have one yet. You - you could stay with me ..."
Was he hinting? He looked completely sincere; his small gesture melted the ice around my heart. "Well ... okay ... sure. If you want me to ..."
"Only if you wouldn't mind."
"Wufei. I - I wouldn't mind at all."
I walked over to him and put my hand on his arm, smiling a little. I could tell he was pleased, even though he tried not to look it. The dragon immediately wrapped all the way around and up my arm, bleating in my ear. I smiled a little, and felt relieved, as if a weight had been lifted off my heart. He DID want me there, after all. That made a huge difference - if he wanted me there, I would stay.
Suddenly, I was bone weary, the type of tiredness that comes from fighting every minute of the day from the time I opened my eyes until that instant. I hadn't let down my guard the entire day; and now, I had no choice. It was a real drawback of being human. I couldn't stop myself from yawning and stretching. My eyes closed and I wobbled right there in front of him, back and forth, very unsteady on my feet.
"Sally!" he exclaimed, worried. "You need to sleep. Do you want the window side, or the door? Anything's find, I don't care." Applying himself, Wufei turned back the covers and sat me down on the bed, taking my shoes off and sending them sailing across the room.
"Oh - oh, it doesn't matter which one - I'm just so tired, Wu, I feel like I've been fighting, fighting all day long -"
"Of course it matters, Sally, it matters to ME. Which side do you like?"
His face was so earnest, his eyes so compelling; I had to choose for him, it was that important. "The window side, Wufei. Give me the window." I'll protect you from whatever's outside, Wufei. I'm your Guardian.
We both crawled in bed. He was closest to the door, I was nearest the window. Neither one of us spoke; I fell asleep almost immediately, exhausted.
"Daddy, I can move in dreams ... I'll come visit you!"
"I know you will, princess -"
"I visit other people too, Daddy, lots of people. I see them when I dream."
I did dream, and in my dream it felt as if I was walking, traveling somewhere in the grayness of sleep. Hazy recollections of visiting other people, other places - visiting Treize, was that possible? - when I was asleep and dreaming tickled the back of my mind. Colors, shapes, swirling patterns of light and laughter, it was all there. I had looked and smiled and danced in my dreams with other beings before -
But not tonight. Tonight there was nothing but grayness, grayness and half light. Something wasn't right. I couldn't GO anywhere. It was as if there was a large, invisible wall around me - it wouldn't let me out, and it wouldn't let anything in. No sound, no light, no color, nothing - it was just blank.
I frowned, looking around. Hmm. I knew I was asleep and dreaming. But I also knew Wufei was asleep. Was he dreaming, or not? Even if he wasn't dreaming, he should be here somewhere, shouldn't -
bing
As soon as I thought about Wufei, I was next to him. He was laying on the gray - floor, if that was what it was - with the dragon curled around his shoulders and wrapped around his torso, undulating slightly, dressed in a white tunic and pants, looking peaceful and young.
Relief. SO much relief it was almost painful.
"Ah, Wufei," I whispered, sinking down next to him, "you look so much better than you looked before. I was worried, Wu, really worried."
The baby dragon, its eyes closed, lay across Wufei's shoulders and was curled over and around him, sliding slowly over and around. Wufei had no response other than deep, even breathing. I watched them for a while; watched the dragon flex and move, then held my hand about ten centimeters above them as they slept, undisturbed, appearing flushed and robust, now the picture of health.
Eventually I pushed my legs underneath me and stood, tired. I needed to go back to dreamless sleep myself. I no longer felt the need to guard him, at least here. In his mind's eye, at least, he felt healthy and strong, healed from whatever mystery aliment had nearly broken him.
...and now he's ready for what?...
The grayness enveloped me, softness pulling me down, consciousness moving away from that question as a large presence soothed me back to sleep. I swore something chuckled at my question.
.