A/N: I know it's been a while, but school and real life took over for a couple months. But I'm back! And so is The Answer. So, enjoy the latest chapter and hopefully I'll have the next one up soon.

I've thought about my father a lot lately, all my life really. It may sound like I've never moved on, but I have, I promise you that. But I mean... you always think about the ones you've loved and lost. Hell, I still think about my first partner, working a beat down in the Southwestern district of Baltimore. He was killed on the job, and every time I hear about another cop being gunned down, he comes to mind, along with this one incident back in Baltimore where me, Kay Howard, Beau Felton and good ole Stan Bolander walked into an ambush and I was the only one to walk away from it. Granted, they're still alive, but it was a close call, especially for Stan and Kay. God, was it a close call.

Anyway, I think about my dad a lot. There's so many things... I think that if he'd lived until some ripe old age, I wouldn't think of him as often, at least not these thoughts. It's just... there was so much we never did. So much that he wasn't around for. I can only imagine what Bernie must feel like. He was only four, he never even had a chance.

Well, I think that all these thoughts about my father are the closest I'm ever gonna get to remembering that feeling of needing to discover. But then again...

Rosen and McElroy came back about an hour after Huang left, both tired and both wearing the same expression that Olivia and Fin had, and probably that Elliot and I had worn upon returning to the squad. After reporting, Rosen remarked, "We're gonna have to call Chappaqua PD."

No one said anything.

It had been Wednesday for about an hour when Cragen told us to go home, or at least bunk up in the crib. There wasn't anything we could do. No evidence to work with and it would not be considerate to wake people up at this hour. Elliot, Olivia and McElroy went home. Fin didn't feel like driving out to his apartment and Rosen... I don't know why he stuck around. Myself, well, it was Joann.

So us three tramped up to the crib and picked ourselves a bunk each and fell into them. I closed my eyes, but I only saw Robbie and Zack. So I stared at the ceiling until I could hear Fin gently snoring and believed Rosen to have fallen asleep as well, before rising to go out to the roof.

Leaning on the edge, I looked out to the city, trying to figure it all out in my head. As suspects, we had Charlie Lyden, Gregg Piechocki, Kirk Eisenberger. A father, an auto mechanic, a dermatologist. Huang said most likely menial worker. That fit Piechocki. However, all three molested children, so if Huang was wrong, it could be any one of them. Of the teachers at school, only Kyle Brigham had tripped any alarms, but he couldn't have done it, having been in custody when the note was left. Robbie's teacher Derek Russell didn't have any priors and everyone seemed to like him, not that it really meant anything. But at the moment, he didn't fall into the suspect category. And Joann was positive it couldn't have been any of the neighbors, nor the boys' father. He had been out of the picture too long to matter much.

As evidence we had next to nothing. A note, Zack's necklace from his grandfather, one phone call to the house. Although, the note did say something. "Wasn't Kyle so helpful? Really, he doesn't know anything." Our guy knew Brigham, which brought me back to the school. No one of significance there. Then someone online? Brigham's handle on most sites was coachkyle, in which he obviously used his first name. Maybe he hadn't told us everything when we saw him earlier that night.

I glanced at my watch. Fin wouldn't be particularly happy if I woke him, and the guys down at Rikers wouldn't be too happy having to get Brigham once more from his cell. But this was important. This was two boys only God knows where with some pervert.

Before I reached the door however, it swung out and Fin walked out, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Hey, I was looking all over for you."

"C'mon."

"Where we goin'?"

"Rikers. I'll explain in the car."

He didn't complain as I practically pushed him downstairs all the way to the car, grabbing my coat and keys on the way.

Brigham, too, was rubbing the sleep from his eyes when a couple of guards brought him into the room. "Whaddaya want?"

"Joann Hontas received a note yesterday. You were mentioned in it."

"So?"

Fin jumped in. "So, that means you know the son of a bitch."

Suddenly wide awake, Brigham looked at us. "But I told you those guys' names. I don't have anything to do with it."

"Oh, we know you don't, 'cause you were in here when that note was left."

"But we think you didn't come clean with us."

"I did. I swear I did."

"Save it. You're gonna tell us the names of anyone you ever met in person, whether you know their real names or not."

He looked at the both of us. "They were the only ones I ever met. I swear."

"Look, you're already in here, you confessed and you pleaded guilty at your arraignment. You've chosen to represent yourself, which I believe is to make sure you really hang yourself."

He didn't say anything.

"Did your mother ever tell you to stay away from little kids? I bet she knows what you are. Mothers always know. You were momma's little boy, weren't you? And now she's not too happy with what her little boy turned out to be. Isn't that why you're punishing yourself? Hmm?"

Brigham looked shaken. I continued.

"Momma's little boy... she says she still loves you, doesn't she? She says she doesn't care about what you are inside, but in her head, in her heart, she knows she's got nothing but a sick little boy who doesn't even have the balls to stand up to himself. Isn't that right?"

Brigham seemed on the verge of tears.

"Come on, Kyle. Stand up. Tell us who else you've met with. Tell us who knows you. Show your momma that you aren't as sick as she thinks. Come clean with us and we'll tell her that you were nothing but helpful, that you saved two little boys. Come on, Kyle."

His bottom lip was quivering and he shook his head. "I- I don't know anyone else." He took a shuddering breath. "I swear. I didn't meet anyone else. I- I'm sorry."

I rose from my seat. "Your mother will be, too." With that, I walked to the door and buzzed for a guard to let me out, leaving Fin seated with Brigham. I didn't hear anything else from them as I walked through various gates and eventually signed myself out and received my gun, which I deftly secured in its holster. I went outside and sat in the car and texted Fin that I was waiting for him there.

If Brigham was telling the truth, who else could know about his predilection for young boys? Back to the three men he had previously named. I had only met with Eisenberger, and as such could not accurately judge whether or not the others had the gall to kidnap two young boys. However, all three men seemed to have a ready supply of children to keep them sated. That small fact pointed to someone else yet again, but the problem was, who the hell was that someone else? We had encountered no others deserving of the suspect label. Then again, perhaps one of the three had lost interest in their young "friend" and had set their sights on the Hontas boys. From what I had seen of Eisenberger, he might have taken them, and he seemed somewhat cocky. At least cocky enough to give the impression that he might risk leaving a note in broad daylight.

I doubted very much whether Lyden would even consider taking two boys, considering that he had a ready supply of little boys and girls compliments of his wife's daycare service and his own children. Piechocki again seemed the most likely, seeing as his "companion" was getting older. Also, he fit Huang's profile of having a menial job. Auto mechanic wasn't as bad as, say, a janitor, but still. It wasn't like he had his own garage. He worked for some run down garage not too far from his house. And he had seen the death of his neighbor's husband as the perfect opportunity to work his way in and get to her son. That required some sort of gall.

Fin was approaching, and as he got in the car, I asked, "You get anything?"

He shook his head. "Said he only met Eisenberger, Lyden and Piechocki. Kept saying that was all he knew."

I nodded, and didn't say anything for a moment as I pulled out of the parking space. "What'd you think of Piechocki?"

Fin shrugged. "Sick sumbitch. He's been molesting the neighbor's son for five years."

"I was thinking. Whoever did this has to know and speak with Kyle on a regular basis, know that we were talking to him. Now, he seems to be pretty good friends with Piechocki and the other two. I don't know what Rosen and McElroy thought of Lyden, but I don't think he would nab a couple boys, what with his wife running a daycare in their house, he's got a good amount of kids to pick from. Eisenberger sort of fits the profile, but he's molesting his receptionist's son. Piechocki on the other hand-"

"Taylor Kolbert is eleven. You think he might be getting tired of him?"

"Exactly. Then Brigham tells him about the Hontas boys, he knows where Brigham works and just follows the boys home for a while. Watches them, knows which apartment is theirs."

"Then one day, he takes 'em."

"If we could get Taylor Kolbert to talk with us, we'd know if Piechocki's been around lately."

"Problem is, he won't. He's been abused for years, he ain't just gonna open up."

"We get Huang then, somebody. Meanwhile, we'll check the school, see if anyone's been hanging around lately, someone that shouldn't be. Ask the neighbors."

Fin nods and then checks his watch. "Four thirty. You wanna call Cragen and the rest?"

"By the time we get back, it'll be five... Yeah, I think that'd be best. Get the ball rolling nice and early." And once it does, maybe I can slip away to check on Joann.

The reason I think my father might be the link to finding out if I've ever had this feeling before becoming a cop is because once he was gone, I had to take care of Mom and Bernie. I was thirteen and the man of the house. If there was ever a time I felt an ache of any sort, that would be it. Sometime on the walk to school with Bernie. Doing some chore or other around the house. Staying up late, waiting for my mother to come home and watching Bernie. Getting up early to deliver papers because that was the only job I could get to help out my mother. Somewhere along the line there, I had to have felt it. I mean, one thing I know is that teenagers just want to get away, and I was no exception. Maybe I thought that finding that... that something would make everything better at home.

At least, that's what I think. I could be wrong. I could have just been thinking about what job I was going to get once I left the house. Or if I would leave. Sticking around would have helped with Bernie, seeing all the school he still had to go through.

God, if I could only remember something specific. Wait. Maybe that was it.